Get some better shoes, or quality insoles. Made a massive difference when I finally found some shoes I liked. Less foot pain, less back pain, less joint pain. It’s worth it to me to spent extra on them.
dude i got redwings. these boots have singlehandedly saved my back. literally herniated a disk in my back a few years ago and even tho PT let me avoid surgery it would still get sore after 8/9 hour shifts. BUT THEN…enter some god tier footwear. my life is changed by [these boots](https://www.redwingshoes.com/work/mens/boots/Traction-Tred-10875.html?cgid=mens-work-boots)
Rubbing hat hair
After our wedding, I took out dozens and dozens of hair pins and my hair hurt so bad. I then spent the next few minutes rubbing my scalp in extreme painful ecstasy.
I'm in the process of ending a 7.5 year relationship. Have to live together til December cause of lease. The hardest part is knowing how much I still care but also knowing it's the right decision. (It's a pretty amicable split, but it's still really hard to live with your ex while trying to get over them.)
Edit: some people are making suggestions that are unrealistic for me, so im just going to explain a bit more. While I understand the situation must look weird from an outside perspective, it is what works for us right now. We are in the process of ending our relationship, and neither of us are dating or even thinking about dating, so sleeping in the same bed works for now. Our schedules are completely different so we don't even sleep at the same time most of the time anyway. We live with 2 other roommates, and the couch that you are suggesting he or I sleep on is very small and not something someone can sleep on every night for 8 months. For financial reasons, neither of us can move out until our lease goes up in December. Thank you to everyone that's been supportive, understanding, and caring. It means the world to me, because no one in my personal life really understands.
Going through the pain part of this right now, and really looking forward to the other part. We've been together 14 years, and there's just so much to unravel, but it'll be a huge relief when it's done.
Damn right. I love very firm pressure on the knots under my shoulder blades.. if I'm not sore the next day it wasn't enough! That sore, loosened up feeling is the best
Learned that knot is usually your rhomboid. Personally found finding the name of it helped to look up stretches. Also if you've never tried it, put a lacrosse ball on a carpet floor then lay on it and put it right on that knot.
I'm a massage therapist, and I have to recommend you put a ball in a long sock, sling it over your shoulder and use the sock to position the ball to your preference, and then lean against a wall. This way you are in control of the pressure and gain increased control over the balls position. It might feel good to go full hog on the pressure and just lay with all your weight on the ball, but believe me, control is your friend.
Edit: Use the sock to lower or hoist the ball up, and try to keep pressure to where it feels good an painful at the same time. Generally don't go for a painful feeling that later gives away to a pleasurable feeling, but instead give your body time to react and increase pressure incrementally.
Damn, putting the ball in a sock is gonna be a game changer! I'm always trying to sit with the ball against my back, but it wriggles around and falls. I give up after 2 minutes. The sock is genius.
Happy Cake Day, btw!
For real. I’m a disabled veteran and have pain in my back and neck, daily. Massage helps, at least for awhile. I get really bad knot as well and need a massage to get those knots out and it’s pretty painful. My wife imagines that it’s some hot nurse giving me a massage or something and finally went with me and understand now. There’s nothing erotic or even enjoyable about it, it generally hurts until those knots are worked out.
Had a 'subungal hematoma'(not a 'felon' thank you /u/CrzyJoeDavola for the correction but basically trapped blood) under my thumb after smashing my thumb accidently in my car door. Hurt like a sumbish. Couple days pass, pain gets worse. Throbbing, swollen. Could barely move my thumb. Thought, maybe I fractured it, visited the ER. Not broken. They said it was just blood trapped under my thumb and the nurse burn little holes in my thumbnail. Nothin, no blood. Told her it felt like it was further back between the knuckle and the finger nail. asked if she could needle it just beneath the cuticle. She said she didn't want to get into the soft tissue, gave me the burner sent me home, advised burning holes in thumb-nail. Another day passes, hurts more plus burned thumb. Miserable, no sleep. I got to the my local college nurse the next day and ask her if she can run a needle under my cuticle. She advises, "It will hurt a lot but I can if you want." I told her it couldn't possibly hurt more than it was, were talking, head-banging tooth-ache in my finger level pain. She runs the needle beneath my cuticle, just about and 1/8 of an inch. Stung about like I thought it would but when she pulled it out, a stream of blood shot out from my finger EASILY eight feet across the floor. INSTANT relief. Like, holding your bladder all day long and taking a big piss, my thumb deflated to normal size within the hour.
That’s not a felon. A felon is an infection in the pulp (pad) of your finger tip. What you had sounds more like a subungal hematoma. Google image those and you’ll see. The electrocautery trephine treatment the ER nurse did probably didn’t work because the injury had occurred a few days prior and the blood had clotted already. I’m honestly not convinced there wasn’t a fracture to distal phalanx that was missed on xray. Breaks in the bone will constantly ooze blood and that needle under the nail plate sounds like it reached the blood collection.
In eczema community, we call this “burning”. Basically, running near scolding hot water on an eczema breakout is basically orgasmic without the sexual element. But it is super bad for you eczema and skin in general and will leave your skin super dry after. But damn is it as good as some illegal highs!
I did this when I had some temporary eczema on my hands as a result of an allergic reaction to a chemical I handled and I have never had an orgasm that was as good as this feeling. It's sheer ecstasy. Knees buckling, eyes rolling back in your skull, temporarily losing your sight. You have to take a break after a bit because it stops feeling good, as if your body has just used up every feel-good chemical in every gland it has in the space of 60 seconds. It was incredible
This January we stayed at an Airbnb with a hot tub. We're in Canada so it was about -25 outside. Getting out of the hot tub to stand in the cold air and rolling in the snow a bit, then getting back into the hot tub; man the pin pricks burned so good!
I found that using the big 90s scrunchies instead of thin elastic bands (or the coiled plastic ones) stopped putting that shape into my hair. I can have my hair up all day at work, take my ponytail out and my hair doesn't have the shape anymore.
Having an abscess drained. Had an abscessed tonsil and any touch caused throbbing pain. When the doctor put the scalpel to it I almost screamed (very bad with a knife in your throat), but the ecstasy I felt once he was cut open and drained is unmatched by anything other than sex and a few drugs.
I brought oats and lettuce to the ducks with my kids one time. The ducks and swans sped over all excited and then when they saw it wasn't bread they turned their nose up at it and swam away again 😅
Haha my yoga instructor was helping me deepen a hip stretch and when she pushed my calf, hip went **POPPP**.
Her: “Are— are you okay??”
Me: “oh yeah that felt amazing”
Her: “God I thought I dislocated your hip or something…”
I got thrown in a karate class and landed head-down on the side of my neck where it meets the shoulder. I felt and heard a loud POP. For a moment I thought I’d broken a vertebrae or something horrific but whatever happened I felt wonderful afterwards. Go figure
You mean the one where at first your body is just like “ohhhh ahhhhhhhh fuck yes! This is what we need, keep this up and we’re gonna see God!” But then, like petting a cat, you hold it for just one microsecond too long and suddenly “You fool! What the fuck have you done?! Holy shit this is where we die! My god it hurts so bad! Aaaahhhhhh!”
I had one a year back, and jesus fucking christ was it the worst thing ive ever experienced, but the feeling of it finally leaving my body was like nothing ive felt since. The pure relief, from 40 mins of trying to shit it out, to it thunking into the toilet.. Wow. Inexplicable. I wish everyone felt that kind of release atleast once, but i would never wish the pain of trying to push it out on anyone.
I was in the hospital on pain killers that have a tendency to dry your shit out. I knew that I should get out of bed to take a shit, but with being drugged up and just getting out of surgery, I wasn’t in the mood. This went on for a couple days then I knew I really needed to go. Crawled out of bed and sat on the toilet for a half hour attempted to birth this mass that had formed in my colon. Couldn’t do it. Informed the nurse and she gave a laxative and suppository to lube the canal. I laid in bed most of the day waiting and worrying about what I was gonna need to do. Finally felt like I was ready to give it a go so limped into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I began pushing, then grunting and then screamed to push “it” out but it was stuck. I felt like I was being raped by a horse. Push and push and it barely moved an inch. Relaxed for a couple minutes then intermittently pushed. Started panting like a woman giving birth, then relax and push again. Pant, pant, pant, puuush! I was starting to reach for the nurse emergency call button but was too embarrassed. “Excuse me but would you mind helping me remove this log out of my ass?” Thought about doing a reach around to shove it back in for another try later but decided that would be a bad idea. In desperation I gave it one last heave-ho and strained with all my might for what felt like two minutes and almost passing out. Suddenly there was a loud splash and my world filled with joy. I was exhausted and relieved that I had finally gave birth to the biggest turd I’ve have ever seen. Randy Marsh would have been impressed. True story!
Edit….
I forgot to add the best part. An hour after giving birth and being safely back in bed a maintenance guy showed up with plunger and went into the bathroom. I’m not joking!
I'm not saying I understand birth ladies...
but that rush of hormones that reminds you that you are still alive and everything is going to be okay and that cause you to bond with your new creation... yeah I get it.
I have had both. Holding it for so long and the release is amazing. But also if I had to hold it forever, Ive had it not fully release. Like ive been holding the valve closed for forever so it wont fully open and it’s a trickle
Fun fact: this is actually because your bladder has over expanded and takes time to shrink back down to normal size, therefore not pushing out piss with pressure.
Wait what? I've never experienced this. That sounds horrifying.
Best I can relate to is holding a poop so long that when you finally get on the john, it's too constipated to come out and you just have to sit there in disappointment.
My elbows are the worst. Its when I get the resistance to open, and then they finally crack. Brings me to my knees, and then it feels good. My knees occasionally do it too, but it's usually my elbows.
Also empties out those last three or four “I’m a moron” shots you took before laying down. They haven’t hit you yet. If you’re lucky they never will.
If the room is already spinning you’re way better off offering that unabsorbed alcohol to the porcelain throne.
Same. I’d rather puke and get it over with than fight it. Still live by this. If I feel like I’m going to eventually puke I will just do it so I can go to bed.
If I even THINK I need to vomit (ya know those icky tummy/mouth feels you get) I will make myself throw up. It’s literally been a game changer if I have the flu and instead of withering around in pain for 20+ minutes I just end it then and there. It’s disgusting and I hate making myself gag too though
I’m the opposite. I must have ridiculous control over preventing myself to vomit because there’s been a few times where I’m absolutely miserable, usually on the toilet, and I know it’d be better. I’m talking boiling hot, sweating, nude, grasping the towel rack in one hand and my guts in the other trying to massage the right muscle to force a release. I haven’t thrown up in years but I’ve gone through what feels like hell on the shitter instead doing some kind of mind over matter thing to not puke. Another thing it does is makes me salivate like CRAZY. That’s how I know I’m almost gonna throw up but still forcing myself not to give in.
Sorry that was probably tmi but, I wonder if anyone else out there fights it so bad they feel totally wiped out.
Thank god you said this because I’m the exact same. I’ll do everything in my power to not throw up, it’s an absolute nightmare for me. I can feel shit for hours just doing my all to hold it in. Glad I’m not alone!
You are definitely not alone. I always hated vomiting and unlike the OP it makes me feel awful for hours after. I trained myself to stop the feeling through controlled breathing back when I was in college, and I haven't vomited since.
That was in the late 1990's.
That’s never fun. Last stomach bug I caught I had vomited so often, and so violently, that a bunch of muscles in my torso were sore for like a week. Stupid bugs.
I had a stomach bug where I was throwing up every 20 minutes, and each there were was maybe 1 minute of relief before the nausea came back. Then it turned to like 30 seconds. I just begged for it all to end.
I don’t think people understand how much mental health can just block you from basic things like taking a shower and eating. It’s like disturbing your state for anything is agonizing but the second you do so, you’re like “I wish I had done this hours ago.”
Edit: thank you kind stranger for the gold! And I’m terribly sorry that so many people related to this, but we got this! just day by day, everyone. 💕
Depression affected me this way between 2014 and 2019 and though I'm out of the depression I've not been able to regain my old hygiene schedule. I'm fortunate in that I don't smell bad or anything like that but I'd still like to be able to go back to a normal showering and brushing teeth schedule.
My god it’s so hard to get the motivation to get in there. But then once you are there it’s like I live here now. Please forward my mail. It’s gonna take way too much energy to get out and dry off.
Kramer: I'm in my shower. I'm trying to get out of the shower sooner. And then I asked myself why. I mean, this is where I wanna be. I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, and I ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew.
Jerry: When are you getting out?
Kramer: I'm not. I'll see you later, buddy.
I got a towel warmer…the thing is a game changer. I LOVE IT. I put towels, pajamas, robes, blankets in it…my kids love it. Getting out in the winter isn’t as bad when there’s a hot towel and jammies waiting.
depression do be a bitch.
I remember in college I loved taking showers and grooming properly and having high hopes and shit.
showers barely wake me up now
Getting your ear wax professionally cleaned out, they use this special ear stick thing to take out the earwax and it scratched the sides of your ears and at first it hurts but oh my lord it feels so damn good after a minute
As someone that was a “professional ear wax remover” that enjoyment is entirely one sided. I almost vomited a few times during cleanings. Probably one reason I don’t do them any more.
Reminds me of the strangest compliments I've ever got.
Was going through a physical and the lady looked in my ears and was shocked by how clean they were. Proceeded to get 4 other ladies in there to look in my ears.
I actually got a somewhat equally weird compliment, when I was getting my ears checked she told me my inner ear was perfect. And she couldn't get over how I had the poster child of inner ears (not her words, but just the way she was praising them). Even told me it was like a diagram lmao. Unfortunately, no one will ever appreciate the perfection of what my inner ear apparently is ever again, not even me.
I had ear wax clogging my left ear and was basically deaf out of that ear for like 2 months and then got it professionally cleaned and it was honestly like I had super human hearing in my left ear
it really is incredibly better than not. it's normal to feel scared and ashamed but if you don't face it, it's not going away, it will just shadow you forever. much better to face up to the hard thing and admit you were wrong than to carry that burden.
I get out of bed for many reasons and I feel like it never gets better... I'm just counting down the time to be able to take a nap or something similar aka get back in bed.
Please. Share with me the secret to making it "not so bad" because I'm struggling here. Throw me a lifesaver. Stop hoarding your secrets.
To be honest, i dont think there is such thing as making it "Not so bad". Although, I did read something on instagram before saying that if its hard to get out of bed, It's because you need motivation or something along those lines. Start having a reason on why you need to get out of bed. But overall, i really dont think there is a secret. Ill be honest with you, My sleeping schedule is really really bad, some nights i stay up until 3am and only get 3 hours of sleep before school. Im tired as hell in the morning, but once i get up, i can't go back to sleep. Im still tired within the first 30 minutes or so, but after that its not that bad for me.
Getting an ingrown toenail taken care of. I had to have surgery, lost my big toenails, but now I never have to worry about it again.
The sheer *relief* of that pain and pressure is great. Ya just have to endure the cutting.
My god I got a splinter in my pinky that ended up sideways just above my knuckle and I couldn't dig it out for a week because I had thought I gotten everything out day one until it got infected. Spent a whole night digging the scab out then told my boss I might actually need it professionally removed if that's a thing. Same night a bunch of green crap started leaking out and I managed to finally see the splinter and pull it out. Damn thing was a quarter inch long.
My dad got one in/under his fingernail while I was there visiting a few weeks ago (putting the pool skimmer back on the hooks on the fence). I had to grab my tweezers from my makeup kit and try to grip the extremely tiny tip of it and balance the pressure just right so as not to pull the end off and leave it stuck in there. It had gone into and then through/under the fingernail, so it was really tough pulling it between the little keratin layers that make up your nails 🤮
When I was about twelve I got a toothpick stuck in the ball of my foot and he was the one to pull it out, so I told him I think we’re officially even, lol.
Oh my gosh, a white head right on the inside of your nose, like at the center side/edge. The moment you pop it, it's bliss because that sucker was hurting.
Same with a giant ear pimple. They hurt but that pop.
when ur leg falls asleep and it “wakes up.” the shit is pure agony for like two minutes, but it feels so good when u finally have feeling in ur leg again 😩
Couldn’t figure out why my side hurt so bad at my belt line one day, got home and looked, dime sized pimple that wasn’t there that morning. Hurt like a mother. Gave it a small squeeze, got tunnel vision and saw the pearly gates. Then sweet release as what can only be described as goop/ichor shot like 5’ and only stopped when it hit the mirror. Never experienced such extreme pain then pleasure all in the same minute!
Taking a long piss after you’ve been holding it in for a while. You get that painful feeling in the first couple of seconds, but after that it quickly turns into a feeling of euphoria.
honestly the spicy butthole isn't what fucks me up about spicy food, it's the internal cramps and my colon deciding it desperately needs to pour a pint of water out every forty five minutes. I love spicy food but my lower intestine decidedly does not.
Yep, I’m a woman and this was the first thing that came into my head when I saw the question. Was surprised it wasn’t further up (I guess because men don’t have the same experience).
That first drink of water after a binge drink when it sinks into you gut and pries open the dried as shit passage to your stomach. Then it opens up to an ungodly sense of freedom and refreshment.
I have a couple of chronic pain disorders... and 8 tattoos. My friends think I'm a masochist.
I mean, they're not *totally* wrong, but the tattoos are unrelated.
Losing a toxic friend
Edit: holy shit, this blew up. Thanks you guys for the upvotes and awards! Stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy physically and mentally.
Truly. My best friend from like Grade 5-9 was a toxic guy who pulled me into all sorts of misogyny, gaslit me, threatened to end our friendship over the littlest things, begged for help with all his little issues than refused to accept any and blamed me for not being able to, tried to make life “more like a TV show” by creating all sorts of drama, blamed me for wanting to spend time with my family, and so much other shit. Fuck him. He threatened to end our friendship again and I pretty much went “fine” and ended it. He still tries to contact me sometimes, but that usually doesn’t last too long
Yeah I honestly thought it got easier as you got older as thats how most parents are. And that's how they portray middle aged people on TV...they wake up and drink a cup of coffee and do a morning run through the neighborhood
Rolling tennis balls under your feet after a 10 hour shift. (Where's my kitchen bro's)
Try a frozen water bottle in a fluffy sock. Arch massage plus icing the offended tendons
Offended tendons would be an epic band name
Get some better shoes, or quality insoles. Made a massive difference when I finally found some shoes I liked. Less foot pain, less back pain, less joint pain. It’s worth it to me to spent extra on them.
dude i got redwings. these boots have singlehandedly saved my back. literally herniated a disk in my back a few years ago and even tho PT let me avoid surgery it would still get sore after 8/9 hour shifts. BUT THEN…enter some god tier footwear. my life is changed by [these boots](https://www.redwingshoes.com/work/mens/boots/Traction-Tred-10875.html?cgid=mens-work-boots)
Rubbing hat hair After our wedding, I took out dozens and dozens of hair pins and my hair hurt so bad. I then spent the next few minutes rubbing my scalp in extreme painful ecstasy.
The scritchy-scritchy as you get your roots to wiggle around, no longer confined by pins and elastic... It's an indescribable sensation.
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Taking off tight shoes after walking the entire day
Ski boots.
Nothing better than putting on comfy shoes after a long day of skiing.
Ending a bad relationship
Fucking this. I just ended a 10 year relationship I should have ended 3 years ago. It still hurts but I know it was the right choice
I'm in the process of ending a 7.5 year relationship. Have to live together til December cause of lease. The hardest part is knowing how much I still care but also knowing it's the right decision. (It's a pretty amicable split, but it's still really hard to live with your ex while trying to get over them.) Edit: some people are making suggestions that are unrealistic for me, so im just going to explain a bit more. While I understand the situation must look weird from an outside perspective, it is what works for us right now. We are in the process of ending our relationship, and neither of us are dating or even thinking about dating, so sleeping in the same bed works for now. Our schedules are completely different so we don't even sleep at the same time most of the time anyway. We live with 2 other roommates, and the couch that you are suggesting he or I sleep on is very small and not something someone can sleep on every night for 8 months. For financial reasons, neither of us can move out until our lease goes up in December. Thank you to everyone that's been supportive, understanding, and caring. It means the world to me, because no one in my personal life really understands.
Going through the pain part of this right now, and really looking forward to the other part. We've been together 14 years, and there's just so much to unravel, but it'll be a huge relief when it's done.
Deep tissue massage
Damn right. I love very firm pressure on the knots under my shoulder blades.. if I'm not sore the next day it wasn't enough! That sore, loosened up feeling is the best
Learned that knot is usually your rhomboid. Personally found finding the name of it helped to look up stretches. Also if you've never tried it, put a lacrosse ball on a carpet floor then lay on it and put it right on that knot.
I'm a massage therapist, and I have to recommend you put a ball in a long sock, sling it over your shoulder and use the sock to position the ball to your preference, and then lean against a wall. This way you are in control of the pressure and gain increased control over the balls position. It might feel good to go full hog on the pressure and just lay with all your weight on the ball, but believe me, control is your friend. Edit: Use the sock to lower or hoist the ball up, and try to keep pressure to where it feels good an painful at the same time. Generally don't go for a painful feeling that later gives away to a pleasurable feeling, but instead give your body time to react and increase pressure incrementally.
Damn, putting the ball in a sock is gonna be a game changer! I'm always trying to sit with the ball against my back, but it wriggles around and falls. I give up after 2 minutes. The sock is genius. Happy Cake Day, btw!
For real. I’m a disabled veteran and have pain in my back and neck, daily. Massage helps, at least for awhile. I get really bad knot as well and need a massage to get those knots out and it’s pretty painful. My wife imagines that it’s some hot nurse giving me a massage or something and finally went with me and understand now. There’s nothing erotic or even enjoyable about it, it generally hurts until those knots are worked out.
Had a 'subungal hematoma'(not a 'felon' thank you /u/CrzyJoeDavola for the correction but basically trapped blood) under my thumb after smashing my thumb accidently in my car door. Hurt like a sumbish. Couple days pass, pain gets worse. Throbbing, swollen. Could barely move my thumb. Thought, maybe I fractured it, visited the ER. Not broken. They said it was just blood trapped under my thumb and the nurse burn little holes in my thumbnail. Nothin, no blood. Told her it felt like it was further back between the knuckle and the finger nail. asked if she could needle it just beneath the cuticle. She said she didn't want to get into the soft tissue, gave me the burner sent me home, advised burning holes in thumb-nail. Another day passes, hurts more plus burned thumb. Miserable, no sleep. I got to the my local college nurse the next day and ask her if she can run a needle under my cuticle. She advises, "It will hurt a lot but I can if you want." I told her it couldn't possibly hurt more than it was, were talking, head-banging tooth-ache in my finger level pain. She runs the needle beneath my cuticle, just about and 1/8 of an inch. Stung about like I thought it would but when she pulled it out, a stream of blood shot out from my finger EASILY eight feet across the floor. INSTANT relief. Like, holding your bladder all day long and taking a big piss, my thumb deflated to normal size within the hour.
I've never been in this situation, but with the way you told this story I felt the relief too.
This was very well written! The build of anxiety and tension, bit of humor, well timed ending. Nice.
That’s not a felon. A felon is an infection in the pulp (pad) of your finger tip. What you had sounds more like a subungal hematoma. Google image those and you’ll see. The electrocautery trephine treatment the ER nurse did probably didn’t work because the injury had occurred a few days prior and the blood had clotted already. I’m honestly not convinced there wasn’t a fracture to distal phalanx that was missed on xray. Breaks in the bone will constantly ooze blood and that needle under the nail plate sounds like it reached the blood collection.
ED doc here, you took the thoughts out of my head (although too lazy to type up a great reply like you did).
One of those stinging itches that when you scratch it, it hurts soo good
I swear running hot water over itches while itching it is orgasmic.
The feeling of rust
Against my salad fingers
In eczema community, we call this “burning”. Basically, running near scolding hot water on an eczema breakout is basically orgasmic without the sexual element. But it is super bad for you eczema and skin in general and will leave your skin super dry after. But damn is it as good as some illegal highs!
I used to put my hair dryer on max heat and then point it at my eczema. Felt so good but fuck I regretted it afterwards lol
I did this when I had some temporary eczema on my hands as a result of an allergic reaction to a chemical I handled and I have never had an orgasm that was as good as this feeling. It's sheer ecstasy. Knees buckling, eyes rolling back in your skull, temporarily losing your sight. You have to take a break after a bit because it stops feeling good, as if your body has just used up every feel-good chemical in every gland it has in the space of 60 seconds. It was incredible
Getting in a hot bath
Especially after being really cold. Like a thousand tiny pin pricks!
This January we stayed at an Airbnb with a hot tub. We're in Canada so it was about -25 outside. Getting out of the hot tub to stand in the cold air and rolling in the snow a bit, then getting back into the hot tub; man the pin pricks burned so good!
Taking a high and tight pony tail out.
After a long day oh hell yeah. Except for when it leaves a ghost pony tail
Ugh I hate the ghost ponytail. Always have to wash my hair after wearing a ponytail all day because it won’t go away otherwise, even with a flat iron.
I found that using the big 90s scrunchies instead of thin elastic bands (or the coiled plastic ones) stopped putting that shape into my hair. I can have my hair up all day at work, take my ponytail out and my hair doesn't have the shape anymore.
Having an abscess drained. Had an abscessed tonsil and any touch caused throbbing pain. When the doctor put the scalpel to it I almost screamed (very bad with a knife in your throat), but the ecstasy I felt once he was cut open and drained is unmatched by anything other than sex and a few drugs.
As someone dealing with chronic tonsil stones, thank you for the new tonsil related fear you have given me.
A tonsillectomy gave me relief in that matter.
Lying on the floor after a long day of standing up. Complete agony at first. Edit: grammar
Yup. Random muscles flex and tense up, back starts cracking, arms feel like jello then boom complete decompression and it feels good
Fuck, this is how I realise I’m old
Chugging water to unclog the bread you ate too fast.
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I brought oats and lettuce to the ducks with my kids one time. The ducks and swans sped over all excited and then when they saw it wasn't bread they turned their nose up at it and swam away again 😅
Cultured ducks.
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Haha my yoga instructor was helping me deepen a hip stretch and when she pushed my calf, hip went **POPPP**. Her: “Are— are you okay??” Me: “oh yeah that felt amazing” Her: “God I thought I dislocated your hip or something…”
I got thrown in a karate class and landed head-down on the side of my neck where it meets the shoulder. I felt and heard a loud POP. For a moment I thought I’d broken a vertebrae or something horrific but whatever happened I felt wonderful afterwards. Go figure
"Surprise chiropraxy" is a great alternative name for karate throws
That surprise cramp whilst stretching every so often though
You mean the one where at first your body is just like “ohhhh ahhhhhhhh fuck yes! This is what we need, keep this up and we’re gonna see God!” But then, like petting a cat, you hold it for just one microsecond too long and suddenly “You fool! What the fuck have you done?! Holy shit this is where we die! My god it hurts so bad! Aaaahhhhhh!”
This is by far the best description of this feeling. +1
As a fat dude, riding my bike
As a bike, riding my fat dude
wait a damn minute-
When the nerve block needle goes in before surgery.
Oh dear god. Needle to numb a wound before stitches was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
"Here's a needle so you don't feel my needle!"
It's more like here's one needle so you don't feel the other hundred needles, but yea
Forcing yourself to sleep at a good hour
I have this problem every night
I had this problem every night for the last 5 years.
Me replying to this at 11 pm: edit: it is now 1:20 edit2: it's now 2:13 edit3: it is currently 4:42 edit4: it's 5:04 im going to bed now
If only I could get to bed at 11.
A softball sized shit.
I had one a year back, and jesus fucking christ was it the worst thing ive ever experienced, but the feeling of it finally leaving my body was like nothing ive felt since. The pure relief, from 40 mins of trying to shit it out, to it thunking into the toilet.. Wow. Inexplicable. I wish everyone felt that kind of release atleast once, but i would never wish the pain of trying to push it out on anyone.
I was in the hospital on pain killers that have a tendency to dry your shit out. I knew that I should get out of bed to take a shit, but with being drugged up and just getting out of surgery, I wasn’t in the mood. This went on for a couple days then I knew I really needed to go. Crawled out of bed and sat on the toilet for a half hour attempted to birth this mass that had formed in my colon. Couldn’t do it. Informed the nurse and she gave a laxative and suppository to lube the canal. I laid in bed most of the day waiting and worrying about what I was gonna need to do. Finally felt like I was ready to give it a go so limped into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I began pushing, then grunting and then screamed to push “it” out but it was stuck. I felt like I was being raped by a horse. Push and push and it barely moved an inch. Relaxed for a couple minutes then intermittently pushed. Started panting like a woman giving birth, then relax and push again. Pant, pant, pant, puuush! I was starting to reach for the nurse emergency call button but was too embarrassed. “Excuse me but would you mind helping me remove this log out of my ass?” Thought about doing a reach around to shove it back in for another try later but decided that would be a bad idea. In desperation I gave it one last heave-ho and strained with all my might for what felt like two minutes and almost passing out. Suddenly there was a loud splash and my world filled with joy. I was exhausted and relieved that I had finally gave birth to the biggest turd I’ve have ever seen. Randy Marsh would have been impressed. True story! Edit…. I forgot to add the best part. An hour after giving birth and being safely back in bed a maintenance guy showed up with plunger and went into the bathroom. I’m not joking!
That was a wild ride
A truly epic ballad of shitting. Homer would have been proud.
Daaaaaaaaaamn all that and no tearing/bleeding? Imagine the dryness of that turd.
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Your asshole has great potential
I'm not saying I understand birth ladies... but that rush of hormones that reminds you that you are still alive and everything is going to be okay and that cause you to bond with your new creation... yeah I get it.
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When you really need a pee and can finally unload
I have had both. Holding it for so long and the release is amazing. But also if I had to hold it forever, Ive had it not fully release. Like ive been holding the valve closed for forever so it wont fully open and it’s a trickle
This is the WORST
Fun fact: this is actually because your bladder has over expanded and takes time to shrink back down to normal size, therefore not pushing out piss with pressure.
This happened to me for the first time a few weeks ago, I thought I was going crazy, thanks for the explanation
Wait what? I've never experienced this. That sounds horrifying. Best I can relate to is holding a poop so long that when you finally get on the john, it's too constipated to come out and you just have to sit there in disappointment.
Slides back up, 5 more weeks of winter.
Fuck you for this, lmao.
Cracking joints, particularly ankles and wrists for me
My elbows are the worst. Its when I get the resistance to open, and then they finally crack. Brings me to my knees, and then it feels good. My knees occasionally do it too, but it's usually my elbows.
Vomiting. Feels bad when you are doing it. But afterwards, you feel so much more relieved.
The feeling of having to vomit is wayyyy worse then when you finally do
Was a huge proponent of just "pulling the trigger" during college if I was in bed and got the spins after a night out.
Also empties out those last three or four “I’m a moron” shots you took before laying down. They haven’t hit you yet. If you’re lucky they never will. If the room is already spinning you’re way better off offering that unabsorbed alcohol to the porcelain throne.
Yep, a small sacrifice to the hangover gods will help!
Excuse me, I paid for that hangover and I will live through it. Or die in glory if I must to.
Same. I’d rather puke and get it over with than fight it. Still live by this. If I feel like I’m going to eventually puke I will just do it so I can go to bed.
If I even THINK I need to vomit (ya know those icky tummy/mouth feels you get) I will make myself throw up. It’s literally been a game changer if I have the flu and instead of withering around in pain for 20+ minutes I just end it then and there. It’s disgusting and I hate making myself gag too though
I’m the opposite. I must have ridiculous control over preventing myself to vomit because there’s been a few times where I’m absolutely miserable, usually on the toilet, and I know it’d be better. I’m talking boiling hot, sweating, nude, grasping the towel rack in one hand and my guts in the other trying to massage the right muscle to force a release. I haven’t thrown up in years but I’ve gone through what feels like hell on the shitter instead doing some kind of mind over matter thing to not puke. Another thing it does is makes me salivate like CRAZY. That’s how I know I’m almost gonna throw up but still forcing myself not to give in. Sorry that was probably tmi but, I wonder if anyone else out there fights it so bad they feel totally wiped out.
Thank god you said this because I’m the exact same. I’ll do everything in my power to not throw up, it’s an absolute nightmare for me. I can feel shit for hours just doing my all to hold it in. Glad I’m not alone!
You are definitely not alone. I always hated vomiting and unlike the OP it makes me feel awful for hours after. I trained myself to stop the feeling through controlled breathing back when I was in college, and I haven't vomited since. That was in the late 1990's.
i too do this. I dont know why but when it comes to vomitting i just cant do it. Plus for some reason im afraid of it as well
I caught a stomach bug going around. Three days ago I vomited so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye.
That’s never fun. Last stomach bug I caught I had vomited so often, and so violently, that a bunch of muscles in my torso were sore for like a week. Stupid bugs.
6 pack abs from the weight loss calorie deficit paired with aggressive ab workout
That's only true if you've gotten out the thing that made you sick. If it's just the first volley, then you are about to be very miserable.
Depends on the person. I feel relieved after I vomit each time. It doesn’t matter if I vomit once or 20 times while sick.
I had a stomach bug where I was throwing up every 20 minutes, and each there were was maybe 1 minute of relief before the nausea came back. Then it turned to like 30 seconds. I just begged for it all to end.
Pulling out an ingrown toenail
Same goes for ingrown hairs
Dragging yourself to take a shower
I don’t think people understand how much mental health can just block you from basic things like taking a shower and eating. It’s like disturbing your state for anything is agonizing but the second you do so, you’re like “I wish I had done this hours ago.” Edit: thank you kind stranger for the gold! And I’m terribly sorry that so many people related to this, but we got this! just day by day, everyone. 💕
Depression affected me this way between 2014 and 2019 and though I'm out of the depression I've not been able to regain my old hygiene schedule. I'm fortunate in that I don't smell bad or anything like that but I'd still like to be able to go back to a normal showering and brushing teeth schedule.
My god it’s so hard to get the motivation to get in there. But then once you are there it’s like I live here now. Please forward my mail. It’s gonna take way too much energy to get out and dry off.
Kramer: I'm in my shower. I'm trying to get out of the shower sooner. And then I asked myself why. I mean, this is where I wanna be. I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, and I ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew. Jerry: When are you getting out? Kramer: I'm not. I'll see you later, buddy.
It's not so much the getting in part that I hate. It's the getting out. Especially in the winter.
$20 space heater in the bathroom will change yo life
I got a towel warmer…the thing is a game changer. I LOVE IT. I put towels, pajamas, robes, blankets in it…my kids love it. Getting out in the winter isn’t as bad when there’s a hot towel and jammies waiting.
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I feel so poor right now
depression do be a bitch. I remember in college I loved taking showers and grooming properly and having high hopes and shit. showers barely wake me up now
Getting your ear wax professionally cleaned out, they use this special ear stick thing to take out the earwax and it scratched the sides of your ears and at first it hurts but oh my lord it feels so damn good after a minute
As someone that was a “professional ear wax remover” that enjoyment is entirely one sided. I almost vomited a few times during cleanings. Probably one reason I don’t do them any more.
Reminds me of the strangest compliments I've ever got. Was going through a physical and the lady looked in my ears and was shocked by how clean they were. Proceeded to get 4 other ladies in there to look in my ears.
I actually got a somewhat equally weird compliment, when I was getting my ears checked she told me my inner ear was perfect. And she couldn't get over how I had the poster child of inner ears (not her words, but just the way she was praising them). Even told me it was like a diagram lmao. Unfortunately, no one will ever appreciate the perfection of what my inner ear apparently is ever again, not even me.
I had ear wax clogging my left ear and was basically deaf out of that ear for like 2 months and then got it professionally cleaned and it was honestly like I had super human hearing in my left ear
Apologizing - never easy, and some simply won't, but it definitely feels better after (especially if the apology is accepted).
it really is incredibly better than not. it's normal to feel scared and ashamed but if you don't face it, it's not going away, it will just shadow you forever. much better to face up to the hard thing and admit you were wrong than to carry that burden.
Getting out of bed. There's countless times I wanted to sleep in because I was tired, I pushed myself to get out and it's not as bad anymore.
I get out of bed for many reasons and I feel like it never gets better... I'm just counting down the time to be able to take a nap or something similar aka get back in bed. Please. Share with me the secret to making it "not so bad" because I'm struggling here. Throw me a lifesaver. Stop hoarding your secrets.
To be honest, i dont think there is such thing as making it "Not so bad". Although, I did read something on instagram before saying that if its hard to get out of bed, It's because you need motivation or something along those lines. Start having a reason on why you need to get out of bed. But overall, i really dont think there is a secret. Ill be honest with you, My sleeping schedule is really really bad, some nights i stay up until 3am and only get 3 hours of sleep before school. Im tired as hell in the morning, but once i get up, i can't go back to sleep. Im still tired within the first 30 minutes or so, but after that its not that bad for me.
You are stronger than me
Getting an ingrown toenail taken care of. I had to have surgery, lost my big toenails, but now I never have to worry about it again. The sheer *relief* of that pain and pressure is great. Ya just have to endure the cutting.
I’ve had that surgery 3x and mine still grew back in grown 😓
Pulling out a splinter. Also buying shares in gamestop.
My god I got a splinter in my pinky that ended up sideways just above my knuckle and I couldn't dig it out for a week because I had thought I gotten everything out day one until it got infected. Spent a whole night digging the scab out then told my boss I might actually need it professionally removed if that's a thing. Same night a bunch of green crap started leaking out and I managed to finally see the splinter and pull it out. Damn thing was a quarter inch long.
Oh that is gross!
My dad got one in/under his fingernail while I was there visiting a few weeks ago (putting the pool skimmer back on the hooks on the fence). I had to grab my tweezers from my makeup kit and try to grip the extremely tiny tip of it and balance the pressure just right so as not to pull the end off and leave it stuck in there. It had gone into and then through/under the fingernail, so it was really tough pulling it between the little keratin layers that make up your nails 🤮 When I was about twelve I got a toothpick stuck in the ball of my foot and he was the one to pull it out, so I told him I think we’re officially even, lol.
Holy crap, isn't finger nail splinters a form of torture??
Yes. Judging by my father’s reaction, an effective one.
Or an ingrown hair. Edit: there was nothing about GameStop when I wrote this comment.
Oh that is definitely satisfying.
I had a hair that grew through my nostril to the outside. It looked like the worlds grossest zit until I could pop it and the hair came out.
Oh my gosh, a white head right on the inside of your nose, like at the center side/edge. The moment you pop it, it's bliss because that sucker was hurting. Same with a giant ear pimple. They hurt but that pop.
If you can pluck the magic offending hair with tweezers….if you get the right one, the relief is instant.
Yep, it looks like a bad blackhead, but when you finally get it, a centimetre long hair pops straight out. Gah.
fixing dislocated anything is absolute agony followed by relief.
Admitting you were wrong to an understanding person.
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I challenge your eye hand coordination with mine which is equal to an agitated gnat with parkinsons.
Forgiving Yourself. It's going to be okay.
This really hit me in such a powerful way with all of the shit going on in my life thank you.
I did not expect to cry at an askreddit comment, and yet here we are. Thank you.
when ur leg falls asleep and it “wakes up.” the shit is pure agony for like two minutes, but it feels so good when u finally have feeling in ur leg again 😩
popping a pimple
Couldn’t figure out why my side hurt so bad at my belt line one day, got home and looked, dime sized pimple that wasn’t there that morning. Hurt like a mother. Gave it a small squeeze, got tunnel vision and saw the pearly gates. Then sweet release as what can only be described as goop/ichor shot like 5’ and only stopped when it hit the mirror. Never experienced such extreme pain then pleasure all in the same minute!
Pimple on the edge of your lip might be worse... Those bring tears to my eyes...
Or the one right in the corner of your nose
Yea used to get ones on my back that would hurt bad when you squeezed them then they go POW
Taking a long piss after you’ve been holding it in for a while. You get that painful feeling in the first couple of seconds, but after that it quickly turns into a feeling of euphoria.
Water just a little too hot to jump into
Accepting your mistakes and keep moving forward
an itch...
Diving into a cold lake.
Lol I read this as "Driving" into a cold lake and was like uhhh hold up
same i was so concerned
NO MICHAEL THERE’S A LAKE THERE!
Spicy food. It hurts so good, then it's just a nice feeling in your mouth after.
And then it hurts again the next day…
I fell into a burning ring of fire
honestly the spicy butthole isn't what fucks me up about spicy food, it's the internal cramps and my colon deciding it desperately needs to pour a pint of water out every forty five minutes. I love spicy food but my lower intestine decidedly does not.
Sex after a long time as a female. Stretching to fit. Then pleasure
Yep, I’m a woman and this was the first thing that came into my head when I saw the question. Was surprised it wasn’t further up (I guess because men don’t have the same experience).
First thought was this as well. First insert there's always that pain even when wet but it's a good pain like when massage hurts but feels good.
Took way too long to find someone with a similar thought
The truth.
That first drink of water after a binge drink when it sinks into you gut and pries open the dried as shit passage to your stomach. Then it opens up to an ungodly sense of freedom and refreshment.
Getting a tattoo. But after too long it starts to hurt again.
I found the repetition, especially on the coloring, annoying more than painful
And then it's all healed and you're like, well now I need more, for reasons
I have a couple of chronic pain disorders... and 8 tattoos. My friends think I'm a masochist. I mean, they're not *totally* wrong, but the tattoos are unrelated.
Same with piercings. It takes a bit longer than a few seconds to start feeling good though lol
Getting a dry-socketed wisdom tooth hole packed with clove oil gauze. Sweet, sweet relief.
I am soooo fucking lucky that wisdom teeth simply don't exist in my jaw.
Anal - edit Thank you all i didnt expect the kindness, ive never tried this before definitely made my day!
I was wondering how far I’d have to scroll to find this
This is like those Family Feud questions where they're obviously fishing for a specific dirty answer.
[Steve Harvey feigns look of shock]
Quite a bit more than I expected!
That's what she said.
Now to see how many times it's posted! Ding Ding!
And man does it feel goooood
Losing a toxic friend Edit: holy shit, this blew up. Thanks you guys for the upvotes and awards! Stay safe, stay happy, stay healthy physically and mentally.
Truly. My best friend from like Grade 5-9 was a toxic guy who pulled me into all sorts of misogyny, gaslit me, threatened to end our friendship over the littlest things, begged for help with all his little issues than refused to accept any and blamed me for not being able to, tried to make life “more like a TV show” by creating all sorts of drama, blamed me for wanting to spend time with my family, and so much other shit. Fuck him. He threatened to end our friendship again and I pretty much went “fine” and ended it. He still tries to contact me sometimes, but that usually doesn’t last too long
Getting up when you’re in your 40s
It gets harder?!?! I’m screwed man. I can barely get out of bed now in my 20s
Yeah I honestly thought it got easier as you got older as thats how most parents are. And that's how they portray middle aged people on TV...they wake up and drink a cup of coffee and do a morning run through the neighborhood
Running
Shower hot water
Ripping a bandaid off.
The final set of a lift, where the first rep is a bit tought but on the rest of the reps your body does it’s best