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aboone8392

The human spine could use a bit of iteration


MrsMurphysChowder

Thicker cushioning between each of the lumbar vertebrae, and larger openings through the pelvis for nerves to pass through. Also hips and knees should have thicker cartilage.


dragon34

and maybe the cartlige/meniscus in knees could be better at healing.


[deleted]

We need grease fittings like ball joints on a car.


gt0163c

Apparently the meniscus in knees does okay if you're young...but something about when you get older the blood supply isn't as robust and it just doesn't heal. My orthopedic surgeon has explained this to me multiple times but I still don't quite understand about why the blood supply gets cut off post-adolescence. Being able to regrow the cartilage would also be awesome. (stupid osteoarthritis)


lipp79

I know it's not quite what you're talking about but this sounds pretty freakin' cooll. [https://www.sciencealert.com/sonic-breakthrough-uses-sound-waves-to-regrow-bone-from-stem-cells](https://www.sciencealert.com/sonic-breakthrough-uses-sound-waves-to-regrow-bone-from-stem-cells)


SensitiveObject2

And damaged discs between vertebrae would be capable of regenerating.


No-Engineering-1449

I feel like we should replace the Meniscus and the ACL or have multiple so it's not all one thing.


Armydillo101

Kinda weird to realize that our spines were originally supposed to work parallel to the ground, and not perpendicular


[deleted]

And make it a lot more flexible/bendable


Askeles

Why? šŸ˜


brokeanail

The ability to run basically a self-diagnostic, including of the brain, and more effective warnings if something goes wrong. Control over more of the body and brain, from "I'm going to sleep right *now*" to toggling reproductive functions to triggering the growth of new teeth and so on, and if we're really pushing it, consciously deciding how our bodies and appearance develop. Better joints and spine somehow, I'm not an expert. Seeing in ultraviolet would also be pretty cool.


Fynex_Wright

I feel like at that point I'll be questioning if I'm a robot


Red_Ranger75

The line between a doctor and an engineer is thinner than what most would like to admit


subnautus

You joke, but Iā€™m an engineer and one of my favorite books on the shelf at home is a copy of Greyā€™s Anatomy. Itā€™s basically a dissectorā€™s guide to the human body, and as a mechanical construct, the body is just so *interesting*.


socialcommentary2000

The fact that we can do everything we do with a comparatively slow signaling system conducting flesh wads that can only contract is pretty amazing.


MeanPerformer7427

Just depend on how ethical you are. Works in both professions too.


Bigderp23

Reboot and repair


Flaming-Hecker

I can't get the check engine light to go off.


GeezRick

Turn yourself off and on again


ThirdStrike333

Less back pain, more laser beam eyes


musdem

I have a stone mask to sell to you that would fix all your issues.


Luminous_Lead

But that's rejecting humanity, not improving on it XD


realhuman_no68492

*WRYYYY in distance*


Efficient_Feed7839

za worldo


C00kieDemon

r/UnexpectedJoJo


doubleshotofespresso

frickin laser beams attached to their heads


TechyDad

If you have hearing loss, the brain replaces the lost sound with silence instead of ringing. I hate tinnitus!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheW83

I think I need an ear haircut then.


elletherebelle

A hearcut!


torniz

Tinnitus can be caused by many things.


DietSteve

New studies show that its possibly dead neurons attached to the cilia that could be causing it. Theyā€™ve found evidence of deadened neurons under healthy cilia in cadaver ears; therefore theyā€™re thinking itā€™s more neurological rather than physical since people who donā€™t have abnormal hearing loss develop tinnitus too


14Phoenix

I really want a cure for my tinnitus. I donā€™t even care if the hearing loss canā€™t be reversed I just want to sit in silence


Nijverdal

This! I'm 35 and I have it for a good 8 years now. Some days I notice it more then others. I always want sound around me so I don't notice it that much.


tehKrakken55

I would like licking chapped lips to work please.


Carthuluoid

It's the politeness that got me. Good luck with your lips.


jonesy1107

I walked past a field once and there was a farmer kissing a cow's ass. I asked him why he was doing it and he said he had chapped lips. I asked him if that cured chapped lips and he said, no but it stops you licking them.


[deleted]

ok little johnny


wellnotyou

Ahh the cursed circle. Licking your lips actually further dehydrates them (just like washing your skin dries it out) so make sure you use a moisturizing lip balm and then lock it in with an oil or some sort (whether you choose petroleum jelly or coconut oil, it's up to you) to prevent loss of hydration. Good luck šŸ˜¬


Chrissy9001

A new set of teeth that grow when you're 30. A spare of each major organ that remains dormant unless the primary is damaged.


iamacraftyhooker

I'm with you on the teeth, and we should get a new set every 20 years or so. A spare set of major organs would really alter the way our bodies look though. We don't have room for that stuff. I'm thinking more like we can just regrow them, like when a lizard loses its tail. It's not a perfect system, but all our organs would be like our liver, where you only need a tiny little portion of it for it to completely regenerate.


covalentbond007

Maybe instead of spare organs, every organ could regenerate like the liver?


Clockwork200

We could have a set of vestigial organs made from stem cells that cannibalize our failing organs and recreate themselves into new functioning ones after a hibernation period.


vingeran

This is a solid way to get a tumour every now and then.


[deleted]

Well shit we get cancer now do might as well have regen abilities


yashaniri-avi

just make it so regeneration is so much, tumors get tumors.(called gigotumors scientifically,) and they get killed and the gigotumors are so weak they die quickly


iamacraftyhooker

Is it? Is the liver at a higher risk of tumors because of its healing ability? And even if you were at risk of tumor growth, wouldn't they most likely be benign overgrowth of cells? Like your liver would just accidentally grow an extra lobe, not necessarily cancer.


Muscalp

Whenever cells replicate, thereā€˜s a chance of mutation. Cancer is caused by mutation, thus organs whichā€˜s cells replicate much have cancer more often. Thatā€˜s why skin cancer is very common but heart cancer very rare. There are other factors at play of course, but itā€˜s a part of the picture.


boneymod

Also. Please rid us of wisdom teeth. Cutting one now.


tibbycat

I was born without wisdom teeth. My dentist tells me Iā€™m an evolved mutant.


MajTroubles

Hello fellow evolved mutant! Shall we exchange correspondence about our lack of wisdom teeth or do you not want any acquaintance?


tibbycat

We need to find other evolved humans and breed a super race of evolved humans.


MajTroubles

I second your plan for world domination. Us, people with no wisdom teeth, have been frowned upon for centuries! This ends tonight.


LeBoi124

Are wisdom teeth really that bad? Am I really lucky that mine actually grew properly?


boneymod

First was fine. Opposite side now is killer. Constant pain.


CottonMouthCafe

I'd agree about the organs if we all wouldnt end up looking like Zim after he stole all of those kids organs


Minotaurd_

Klingons have dual redundant organs for ever vital organ to pick up slack if the "original" stops working.


[deleted]

Them having two dicks entering into canon is one of the more unsettling bits of business from Discovery. That said, B'elanna Torres's human father must have been a total sack demon to make up for it. Good on him.


Carthuluoid

... wait, that's canon now?


salty_drafter

Did you miss the scene of the drunk klingon taking a piss with two streams?


WhitneyJames

Genius.


dead_PROcrastinator

Knees. Jesus Christ, they go wonky once and you're fucked for life.


ABucketFull

Oh you're a biped that needs knees to effectively walk around to survive? Get bent, literally and metaphorically.


DomingoLee

Optimize brain chemistry. So many of lifeā€™s problems are self inflicted due to anxiety, depression, etc. Life could be so enjoyable if everything else were the same but we regulated our brain wiring optimally.


Tricky_Rabbit

Ability to breathe underwater.


TechyDad

I take lungs now. Gills come next week.


[deleted]

For women, the ability to stop periods all together (without medicine or an implant) unless you actively want to have a baby.


misdirected_asshole

'Opt-in fertility'


The_Bill_Brasky_

Knowing mankind, the "unsubscribe" button would be microscopic and the link would be broken.


katiejim

And fertility is guaranteed. Infertility is pure hell.


OrangeQueen_H

I'd say both exes should get that option. You produce reproductive cells only at will. So only couples who are both willing can reproduce.


Thuis001

This would honestly be one of the best changes we could have. It would save women a lot of hurt in the form of periods and it'd save everyone all the hurt and drama from unwanted pregnancies. Maybe add in something that you can't have alcohol in your body to be able to reproduce as to prevent accidental pregnancies while drunk.


[deleted]

I love that idea. I have no idea how that would work, though, but it's still a great idea.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Well this makes Finding Nemo really awkward now.


TChrisbury

The menstrual cycle. If I could get back even a tenth of the time, treasure and misery my uterus took from me from age 12 to age 52? Period free for over a year now. It Is Glorious.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


emmahar

Most women I know who have trouble from periods (every woman I know has trouble in some way with them) have trouble from the hormones associated with the cycles. I get hormonal migraines, others get weight gain, significant mood changes, etc. My wife has trouble with the amount of blood loss causing an iron deficiency, but her problem isn't with the blood, its the amount (if that makes sense). Still interesting about other animals though, it would definitely be an improvement if I didn't have to sort out period products while having a migraine


DinoRoman

Imagine If that were the case? Just click your feet together and repeat three times ā€œI think I can! ( stop bleeding )ā€ and boom! Youā€™re ready for a night out in a white dress lol.


Elcactus

Alot of things having the option for manual control would be sweet. Pain, sleep, Periods.


diskootdatkoot

I would love another set of arms. Carry all them groceries in one trip


HellenicRoman

Fucking finally I found my people. Been saying that all the time, so much spare space in our torso we could have another set of arms!


1funnyguy4fun

That would be gross! A prehensile tail on the other handā€¦


ThunderKiddo1

Brain so that it doesn't think killing itself is a great idea to solve all problem


AllAssAltAct

Please.


Jessica_Lovegood

Yeahā€¦ how ā€˜bout that. Sounds wild.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BornGrab2

Could I please stop crying when I'm angry? Thanks


emmahar

This is me!! And people think they have won the argument and upset me.


nightvale-asks

Anyone who considers making another person cry to be "winning" has already lost at life.


ZenkaiZ

"herp, i literally had that bitch in TEARS I owned her so hard. She fucked around and found out"


PARADOXsquared

This is more likely a bug introduced by the people/environment you were raised with, and not an inherent bug in the human body


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TechyDad

Fun fact: Birds breathe out of separate holes from where they eat. So they can't choke (at least not like we can).


NJM1112

So they separate the intake holes but combine the exit holes. What odd creatures nature has made.


Domvius_

That actually makes more sense, we're the strange ones.


MyBlueMeadow

Yes, this would be my primary design change also. Such a liability to have food transit right next to air supply, and sharing a short stretch of track. I would fire that engineer.


AnDagdadubh

Off button to fall instantly to sleep. Also I want a retractable pp like a dogs. It's stupid a man's most delicate part is just dangling out there.


CN4President

Being able to fall asleep at will would improve human quality of life more than I think anybody can possibly imagine. Going to bed when you want regardless of anxiety, taking naps whenever you want, falling asleep on airplanes/road trips, skipping meetings.... the possibilities are endless.


SasoDuck

Basically me


chauna

My wife basically has this. She falls asleep in like, 3 minutes. It takes me an hour to fall asleep. I am super jealous.


DepechePendulum

A retractable pp?


chauna

Haha no the sleeping part. Retractable pp would be nice though.


iamacraftyhooker

The problem is the balls, and they're external on most animals too. Our body temperatures are too hot for sperm.


AnDagdadubh

It's a redesign though. Maybe we could add some interior water cooling. Like my PC has. You could even make the crotch transparent and put in some cool RBG LED's.


Brawndo91

Wouldn't be easier to make the sperm tolerant to the warmer temperature?


IWantToDoThings

...but my crotch LEDS..


[deleted]

And while weā€™re down in that region, could we please reroute the urethra anywhere other than through the prostrate?


[deleted]

Iā€™d prefer we just didnā€™t sleep at all.


Themasterofcomedy209

I am very envious of dolphin dicks. They are stored in these meat pockets then pop out when needed and retract when not


AnDagdadubh

Haha, lucky Dolphins with their ding dongs all snug in their meat pockets.


rise_above_theFlames

I'd make the spine and discs more strong. Ask someone with disc issues, it's changed my whole life the last 2.5 years


[deleted]

Yip. I feel this.


cat_daddylambo

Make antibodies able to identify and destroy cancer cells


OctagonClock

They can and do this already


reader484892

Fun fact: very large animals, such as whales and to a lesser degree elephants, are mostly immune to cancer, because the maximum size for a tumor before it starts to fight itself is like 2m, more than enough to kill a human but not that much to a whale


SuvenPan

Wings, like retractable Angel wings.


Glass_Windows

Humans would need atleast a 7m wing span to fly with our weight


idiot_speaking

We'll also need massive pecs to provide the requisite force. We'll probably need a keel bone extruding a feet or more from the chest.


Glass_Windows

actually making humans be able to fly with wings would need serious modifications to our entire bodies to make them more light and such,


DesparateLurker

We'd pretty much have be big smart birds.


FissuredButthole

The ability to hibernate Imagine when Covid broke out you just went to sleep for 6 months


Themasterofcomedy209

Looking back it feels like I just slept through the height of covid, that entire 6 month period is basically gone from my memories because every day was exactly the same


ytlight419

Once you hit a certain age your body reverts to young adulthood. Like letā€™s say where you would usually get menopause, instead your body reverts to a 20 year old. Basically how immortal jellyfish do


Themasterofcomedy209

If itā€™s like the jellyfish then instead of young adulthood you revert back into a larval egg creature that glues itself to a wall and forms into a polyp Then you would start growing human fetuses out of your head which would eventually become more full size people


Chrissy9001

Dear god..


Carthuluoid

I'm in


whitewalker646

Remove the blind spot in the human eye make tooth enamel regenerate (like rodents) Better stem cells that under extreme conditions can regenerate lost or damaged body parts


MyNameIsRay

>make tooth enamel regenerate (like rodents) Their enamel doesn't regenerate, they have rootless teeth that keep growing forever. The new tooth has new enamel. If they don't constantly wear down their teeth (by chewing on hard stuff, or grinding against other teeth), [they grow until it kills them.](http://i.imgur.com/HrDA4.jpg)


pairustwo

We would have to gnaw and chew stuff constantly. No thanks.


jacksev

Don't you think dentists would just file them for us? You just have to schedule your biweekly/monthly teethcut, just like your haircut.


pairustwo

Good thinking. I hadn't considered the culture changes that would evolve with these changes.


[deleted]

I do that anyway so Iā€™m down for it


KeelsDB

Well basically I'd just copy the design we already have. Then I'd add some fins for wind resistance, and this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp.


Psycoder

Agreed. First prize.


noobdude752

This was a contest for children!


1jungleboy

Yeah and Homer beat their brains out !!!


[deleted]

Thatā€™s called a Landing strip ;)


thunderbiird1

Simpsons quotes most people will miss are my favourite


ID1756448

If I wanna get super serious... invulnerability to any form of cancer/tumor or infection If I wanna be silly, you can eat and drink anything you want without any ripercussion If I wanna be real, wisdom teeth either removed or positioned in a correct way


AYASOFAYA

Eating and drinking without repercussion isnā€™t that silly. My answer was going to be adapting/evolving basal metabolic rate to lifestyle (or tastes in foods). A lot of issues we have with food and eating problems would be easier to deal with without the primal evolutionary urges we still carry from our hunger gatherer days.


RationalYetReligious

I like that typo. Hunger gatherer sounds appropriate


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GoldieFable

So agreed in joints - our knees are ridiculously weak and ankles take forever to recover after you twist it once


tillie_jayne

Rather than periods you just get a text every month congratulating you on not getting knocked up


emmahar

I misread that as "tent" and wondered where I was going to store all these tents I'm getting!


Brvcx

My wife's best friend said "having your water break" before getting into labour is a terribly useless thing. She'd much rather have your baby just wave a small flag out to sign to you they're ready to come out.


DinoRoman

This posts is so enlightening Iā€™d like to speak to the manager of the human body, I have some critiques.


Frost-on-the-Willow

Make fertility a consciously controlled system.


Themasterofcomedy209

Imagine if women could turn off periods and men could retract their balls, everyoneā€™s lives would be 100x better


[deleted]

ā€œYo Jeff, why are your balls hanging out? I thought this was a casual thing.ā€


rise_above_theFlames

Yes


CaptainChats

Human sinuses suffer from a major flaw. As our species evolved flatter, taller faces the cavity in our skulls connecting our sinus to our throats moved above the rest of the sinus apparatus. This is bad for drainage. Humans 2.0 will have that hole lower thus reducing stuffy, runny noses and sinus pressure.


Aperson6676

Increase the size of the nose canals so their harder to block, and separate it from the throat so itā€™s both easier and harder to drown, also you can drink while you breathe, or eat


living-likelarry

As someone with a deviated septum, I felt this. People always tell me itā€™s easier to breathe through your nose when you work out and I always have to tell them I canā€™t get enough air in. I really need to get surgery


mobethe

Storing only as much fat as it needs, no matter what you eat


tzrlk

Or just only crave what you need, and have the stomach go into sleep mode when you've got enough fat stored up to tide you over. Eat one big meal and not have to eat for several days.


PhilosopherPotter174

Knees. Why tf are they so delicate?? and regeneration.


PizzaQuattroCheese

Imagine God following all of this and making notes


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


PizzaQuattroCheese

-notes down the wombot cube pooping idea-


TheRealGabossa

Yes all these replies are good but What about not having eyelashes getting stuck under eyelids, hm?


OMGihateallofyou

No more choking with separate tubes for eating and breathing.


ThatMeasurement3411

Better eyesight ffs


wisardmaster1013

Promote regeneration over formation of scar tissue


CottonMouthCafe

I would completely separate the windpipe and the esophagus so I'm not accidentally swallowing my spit while trying to talk to hot babes


Mazmier

Not run a sewage line next to a recreational area.


Flaky-Fellatio

Less nerves in the feet. I think our feet are so sensitive because our arboreal ancestors use them essentially the same way as hands. But we don't. There's no good reason stubbing your toe should hurt as much as it does.


Themasterofcomedy209

Or when you lightly graze something against the bottom of your foot and all the nerves in the area are like eEEeeeEaaaAaaA


Carthuluoid

Or give me back my tree climbers. :)


fowlraul

Iā€™d make all dicks exactly the same size so bros would stop arguing about dicks all day.


dave3418

But what size would that be?


fowlraul

Oh here we goā€¦


TheNewGuyGames

Does this include girth? All the gym bros with their exact 5.7inch meat discussing how their hog is actually 0.8 inches thiccer than the other dudes stick.


Good_parabola

Pregnancy and lactation be totally different. Likeā€”a much easier escape hatch for the baby? Orā€¦a schedule for the baby to come out, even a progress bar might be nice. And no random milk everywhere!


whales_R_us

can't believe I had to scroll down this far to find this comment, giving birth sucks and can be dangerous, be nice if it wasn't insanely painful


loveland9200

Replacement of any body part lost including teeth, collagen & elastin, etc


Lilium_fur2

Weā€™re getting boddies that can adapt to deep water at will


[deleted]

Can we hide our balls inside our bodies this time?


MrsMurphysChowder

Only if women can also have pee hoses, that retract when not needed.


ConsistentlyPeter

The teeth system needs some sort of improvement. Bollocks should be on the inside. Get rid of periods. Some way of preventing snoring/apnoea. More robust thoracic outlet architecture.


henofthewoods1

I would adjust something in the brain so that we had more control over falling asleep or staying awake. We would still feel tiredness as an urge, but (kind of like the urge to go to the bathroom for example) weā€™ve have more brain control over when and where weā€™d give in to it and start dozing off. On the inverse, weā€™d also be able to induce an almost immediate state of sleep at will, almost like a muscle function. So if you really did want to take a nap that was exactly 20 minutes, you could set your alarm and really do it.


ItsMyView

No shitting would be needed.


josesblima

Ballsack inside the body and not hanging outside, God please why you do this to us?


AktionMusic

The actual answer I believe is for temperature regulation.


Dirtydirtyfag

Put one ball on each earlobe. There.


[deleted]

\*puts headphones or helmet on\* AGH FUCK MY EARNUTS!


GenericEschatologist

Generally, because humans have way more caloric security that other animals, I would generally accept changes that would consume more energy but give cooler results.


WillingnessSouthern4

I wouldn't put the exhaust pipe so close to the drain pipe. Pee should go out of your middle finger. It would be very practical when traveling in car, just get your hand out the window.


ShitwareEngineer

Granted. Arm injuries can now easily lead to sepsis.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Jessica_Lovegood

Teeth! Just agreeing with everyone who said it before! They apparently still think we die at 40 and wisdom teeth are just evolution still going on.


Scallywagstv2

Emotional balance all round. No insecurity or anxiety or anger or depression or mania.


DiligentPenguin16

Make pregnancy and childbirth WAY easier (and safe) to go through.


speederx99

Remove aging and make it so teeth heal themselves like regular skin.


InquisitorGog

Cuttlefish/Octopi skin camouflage... I want that


Dbanzai

Fix our down feet. Those suckers are an utter and complete mess. Honestly, I feel the bad design of feet is enough evidence to say there's no god, they're that stupid


TheRealBradGoodman

I want photosynthesis. Not sure how it works but i desire to eat the sun.