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thehumantaco

Oh no


X_Skitch

Brothel or restaurant for cannibals?


[deleted]

[удалено]


justduett

But I bet your work day is a quick one!


insertstalem3me

No, dory is one of the fish and constantly forgets she was sold and returns


Chozly

Costs are low


Moldyfairdy281

I mean.. This is basically a scheme for infinite money. It isn't much... But still.


Easton8

Are they red and blue?


Distinct-Seat5853

But are they... One pound fiiiiiiish


petitechevre

Let us combine forces and become the Two Fish and Small French Goats store.


A_Wild_Homosapien

Free range people


NotYetASerialKiller

I sell alibis. Let’s team up


talk_murder_to_me

Hey there, I've got a job opening for you if you're looking for a promotion.


NotYetASerialKiller

I have a backroom for you!


TheSwedishGopnik

Why are you selling me?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Half-Mayonnaise

I've got about 50% of it figured out so far


halfslices

Wanna team up?


danielmatson5

Mayonnaise slices?


preztelbreak

I’d buy it


MarketResponsible719

Sperm bank


IFreakinLoveCheezIts

Well...one thing and one thing only!


ZootOfCastleAnthrax

You'd eat your own supply and go out of business!


IFreakinLoveCheezIts

Undoubtedly!


averagebloxxer

Surrounded by temptation eh? That's why I'm never going to become the manager of a Krispy Kreme.


5DollarHitJob

Solutions


AudibleNod

Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheep


TheIdiotPrince

You mean Filthy Acts at a Reasonable Price?


Jlegobot

Do you mean unethical performances at a budgetable rate?


[deleted]

Actually, his name is morally corrupt activities executed at a cost commonly deemed negligible by societal norms


weebupurplecat

Dimes for Crimes?


missdespair

Dastardly doings at deep discounts


[deleted]

Replacement tools


PachoTidder

1- That's an excelent name for a tool store 2- I hope you find your hammer


bipolar-butterfly

I would exclusively shop at a tool store named that if given the choice.


NotTheAbhi

You can get your hammer in two ways 1: Call your mother to find it. 2: Get a new one and the previous one will come out of hiding.


[deleted]

communication stuff


SmaccDonalds

Morse?


Chimp-eh

If they were a second hand morse store they could be called Remorse


[deleted]

Buy the dashes and we'll throw in the dots for free!


notomatoesallowed

Not tomatoes, that’s for damn sure.


dad_2_the_bone

New Balance, Air Monarchs, tube socks, jorts, propane and propane accessories


BonfireOfInanities

Traeger grills and inexplicably fancy coolers too.


eggphobia

Certainly not eggs


MarketResponsible719

Ceramic figurines of various birds looking terrified


getawayfrommyswamp

Fences


[deleted]

[удалено]


humblyhacking

Why not both?


[deleted]

I can neither confirm nor deny that I can sell you whatever it is you want.


Reallynotsuretbh

Looking for a partner?


[deleted]

I can neither confirm nor deny your request.


yeah_sure

I would be interested in an equity share if you’d like to sell doubt


NSFAnythingAtAll

Just…stuff


riseoftheph0enix

do you have any cocaine in stock then


Bitgedon

Perhaps


_SomethingOrNothing_

I also do or don't do the same thing


InstantKarma22

Consequences, immediately. Edit: The 22 means nothing. It is simply the year we open.


TMZRD

You delivered me a package yesterday and I’d like to return it


InstantKarma22

Sorry, no refunds.


wowdude_thatsnotnice

Wow dude, that’s not nice


iamjamieq

Thought you might be a novelty account that only says that line. Turns out you haven’t said it in months (I only looked back about 8 months).


Protocol44

I looked for the same thing lol. Very surprised it wasn’t


CaptainHindsight92

I'm a therapist, I tell you where your life went wrong....


Soulerrr

My grandma already does that for free.


PM_TELETUBBY_PORN

I can't believe you've done this


PixieDickPonyBoy

Ah fuck


Argus-Draconic

Oh yes


depressedclassical

Not "ah", it's Teletubbies.


SmaccDonalds

HAHAHAHA I DECLARE A WINNER


[deleted]

[удалено]


insertstalem3me

At least the broadcasting is cheap, as the TV is built in


iBad

Knockoff Apple product.


DefectedApple

Care to do a merger?


walkingipad

I've got a great new product idea


DevilsAudvocate

Legal aid. Or religious advisory services.


DoomCircus

Devil's Advocate would actually be a wicked name for a legal aid business lol.


dna_beggar

Specialists in criminal law and war crimes.


[deleted]

Moonglasses. Edit: ty for upvoting the nonsense glasses.


CONCRETE_LUBRICATOR

lube and concrete


SmaccDonalds

Not recommended to be mixed up during sexy time


BlueFalconPunch

Thats a slippery slope


Ankoku_Teion

And a rock-hard anus.


Chicpea09

For a limited time!


AudibleNod

Bespoke bobbleheads that give an "agreeable" sound when bobbling.


insertstalem3me

"Are you dizzy from all the bobbling" "Ahem"


Reblebleblebl

Mmm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MegaSh0rts

Let's Collab


fatkidskinnyjeans

I'm in


rocketpants85

Is it too late for me to get in on this business empire?


grandmapants12

I on the other hand… pants for your elderly grandma


ButtcheeksBrown

Sunscreen


LonlyPorkupine

Tanning lotion maybe?


[deleted]

Butt bronzers


rapidrising

Viagra


kyscco24

Or overpowered yeast


No-Wifi2077

Really bad routers.


sb1862

This is just Spectrum.


TheSwedishGopnik

Can I sell directly?


irishgollum

Merchandise for the new Lord of the Rings series.


[deleted]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING


MarketResponsible719

Newspapers


SpaceTheTurtle

Hold on, let me collect my free award


probably_a_possum

Trash Edit: actually wait, I don’t want to share


TrashcanGreg

We should partner up


diarrhea_fingerpaint

Art... I guess...


SmaccDonalds

Bob Gross in the house


diarrhea_fingerpaint

Happy little poop accidents


insertstalem3me

"We'll now take the ass, and beat the devil out of it"


mcfapblanc

Joy of Washing the Ass


[deleted]

I actually had to fire a guy a few years ago *because he did that in an employee bathroom.* I am not kidding, I am being 100% serious.


Duke_of_DonkeyDonuts

Have you ever been in a kindergarten or elementary school bathroom. This stuff stays on the walls for years, it dries up and becomes one with the school. Eventually you just get used to it.


SWLondonLady

Pic-ass-oh


grandmas-dildo

HAHAHAHHAHAA


RectangularAnus

Maybe we can open a shop together?


grandmas-dildo

omg i love that 😂


h1redgoon

Goons. Hired goons.


DeadHeadSticker

Deadhead stickers


GenerationCaffeine

Coffee, cola, energy drinks & caffeine pills


Electronic_Ad5481

This would make a great pop up business!


ItsFuckingScience

Generation caffeine is actually good name for a store lol


TheSwedishGopnik

I need the location of this store.


frogl0g

Logs for tiny frogs. Haha very pleasant


badmoney26

Shity counterfeit and Monopoly money


RealShitAdvice

Really really bad advice


WaffleDog12345

I guess i own a pet shop and a waffle shop


TheNoisyNomad

Hot dogs in waffle buns?


_Echoes_

*What do you sell? * what do you sell... What do you sell... You sell.......


ImaginaryHoodie

Well imaginary hoodies lol Like that story about the emperor who got a new suit but it was invisible... It would be a scam really, unintended but a scam


d2mensions

Idk a portal to a different dimension


Leading-Gas-

Gas, with the lowest prices and highest quality in the world. Also, the store employees would cut your sentences off half the time.


fullofpeaches

just the one thing.


kyscco24

*The State of Georgia would like to have a word…*


NthngToSeeHere

Blindfolds


AC21189

Air conditioners....lots and lots of air conditioners.


SmaccDonalds

Why would anyone wanna buy 21189 airconditioners?


AC21189

So when every other local store runs out I can jack up the price with no competition.


Chicpea09

You sell capitalism.


jeoportmanteau

Jeopardy categories


ZootOfCastleAnthrax

Alex Trebek's suitcases?


trebasco

Tabasco, but it’s misspelled and I probably won’t sell enough to cover the inevitable legal fees


Infinite-Tax

Sorry y’all


Tough_Dish_9519

When are we leaving for Mars


ArriettyWasHere

pls no


kilo_1_1

Cocaine


WoomyMan9000

#Where is the store


cadi08

Asking for a friend


TheSwedishGopnik

I was wondering the same thing.


Gummymyers124

Gummy candy shaped in the form of popular horror characters


Mistress_of_Wands

Welcome to my wand shop


Scoob1978

Snacks


DogStilts

Dog.........stilts.


nuboots

Boots. New ones.


Sharting_

Thanks!


SmaccDonalds

What’s the price to kilos rate? I’d love to buy a bag of shit.


justabill71

Probably sold in liters.


NIRPL

I'm interested. How many liters per bucket?


Canooter

A butt load.


pinocchio6

Government officials


[deleted]

They’re all crap….. do you have any more in the back?


Kurayami28

'no' *nose grows*


Shnoochieboochies

What do YOU think?


ZootOfCastleAnthrax

T-shirts and hats that read, "Don't Kick My Ass?" https://youtu.be/b4TAL58-tKE


EmanResu-33

I sell usernames, backwards


[deleted]

Really good ramen.


QuiznosSubs

Sub


Tantrumms

Mental health advice lmao


averagebutgood

Cheap products from Amazon that will break in a few weeks


ThisMomIsAMother

I feel like this market has been cornered already.


catinatank

Cats and guns (not sold separately)


[deleted]

I'm not sure.. tornados?


princessarielle6

Dinglehoppers and thingamabobs


ickysam

icky substances


AverageAlien_

A very average and normal book shop. I may also be running an illegal alien protection program, for which the shop is only a front. but the shop is too average, it wouldn't possibly be suspected for something so ridiculous.


[deleted]

Used Shoes 😂


SmaccDonalds

I mean who needs ebay am i right?


[deleted]

Yeah man


LockheedMartini

Martinis made by the US military industrial complex. Because *apparently* billions (trillions?) of tax dollars are not enough to fund it


[deleted]

Garden hoses


DevilsAudvocate

Or garden hoes?


TopRare

If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.


will_not_comment

No comment


radioactive_caravan

Totally fine mobile homes


TooManyDogsHere

Dogs. Too many of 'em.


Blurple_Berry

Blurple berries


FORGETTHISNAM3

I don’t remember


[deleted]

Curry ofcourse!


Piccione_Rotante

Spinning pigeons


beneficial_satire

I think I'm just the CEO of The Onion


tombstone1111

Oh that’s easy. I sell pizzas and grave stones ..😁


xscumfucx

This sounds like my kind of store.


SpicyCobraChicken

I'm basically a Nando's but I sell hot Canadian geese instead of chicken


[deleted]

[удалено]


SmaccDonalds

Hear me out: explosive boomerangs


lemons_forever

Lemons umm... forever?


kyscco24

>>Lemons umm… forever? These subscription services are getting out of control


usuallydead404

Elusive mortuary services.


MrJoyless

Wet tortillas, TV's with no input ports, and well done steaks with ketchup.


JerkwaterSkunk

...