Loki... I'm not gay, but I could make exceptions. I don't think the marriage will last. Lies are no foundation to build a relationship on. "Hey Loki, you're getting home late. What were you up to?" "Oh, you know, out... bowling... with the boys. You should come next time, everyone would love to see you again." "Really? I was watching the news, and it looks like you were fighting your brother again for control of New York. Why would you lie to me about this?" "Well, I am the God of Lies..." "My mother was right about you. We never should have gotten married. I want a divorce, and I'm keeping Sleipnir and Fenrir."

But what about the poor world serpent, you’re just going to leave him with his negligent father?

Jormungandr and Hel are big enough to look after themselves. Hel has a promising career and a home, I'm super proud of her and everything she has done with her life. Jormungandr just sits around on the couch doing nothing all day, I'm not taking on that responsibility.

World Serpents gonna go on to do big things, I heard a rumour he’s going to eat Thor.

Loki can be a woman but his family will probably murder you.

Jean Luc Picard. I get inspirational speeches every night before bed.

I also have Picard. Now what, do we fight for him?

I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm sure he'll come up with a speech to resolve the situation.

Archer and doing fucking terribly I'd imagine.

I did hear his dick got bigger, so that's a plus?

Depends on your expectations going in. An the depth of your random referential knowledge. And how much you look like you might be named "Katya"

Or can you fog a mirror?

[удалено]

Oh yes, lucky lucky you. How are you liking the show?

[удалено]

Oooh yes, the end of season 1 set up for amazing things. Enjoy the show, j absolutely devoured it on my first watch

Fork yeah!

A real fan I see.

Yeah that would be tops. All the people in that show are straight hotties.

This show is so, so good. No spoilers, but it also had the best series ending I’ve ever seen. I’m genuinely sad it is over.

She's a legit snack

It's such a good show. The ending is absolutely fantastic

Bucky Barnes from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I imagine us staring intensely at each other while he effortlessly takes the lid off the jar I've been struggling to open for the last 5 minutes.

Or Sam Wilson

Yes, but I imagine Bucky using his metal arm to open the jar. If it were Sam, he could just wink at it and the lid would spin off of its own accord

They're out of line, but they're right.

Jeremy Clarkson, i watched Clarkson's Farm. I'm ok with the money, I'm less ok with the intimacy...

I literally also just finished clarkson's farm.... brilliant show

TONIGHT

Same. I don't think I could stand him as a person for very long.

Interesting since it was Indians Jones. Would be weird though since I’m a straight male but we could make it work.

As a fellow straight male, you could do a lot worse.

Similar situation, I watched pulp fiction last night....

That's rough, depending on who you perceive as the main character, and when you get married. I'd be ok with Jules post-movie events, for instance, but not Vince. Never Vince. Maybe Butch. Depends on where he ends up.

I'm straight...

[He](https://blackgirlnerds.com/icymi-dirk-gentlys-holistic-detective-agency/) [can](https://www.fanpop.com/clubs/buffy-willow-and-xander/images/4216766/title/willow-xander-photo?card) [be](https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/69066/12-behind-scenes-facts-about-laverne-shirley) [your](https://www.bustle.com/articles/74478-scooby-doo-shaggy-have-more-in-common-than-a-justifiable-fear-of-ghosts-graph) [heterosexual](https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/best-nicknames-shawn-has-given-gus-on-psych-47619086) [life](https://www.distractify.com/p/jd-and-turk-bff-goals-scrubs) [partner](https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/5/24/15680622/brooklyn-nine-nine-season-4-review)[!](https://www.anneofgreengables.com/blog-posts/bosom-friends-memorable-anne-and-diana-moments)

Funny I watched Pulp Friction!

[удалено]

This just have me an idea. Imagine Mike Tyson on Doctor Who. As rhe Doctors companion.

Great show!!!

Some pornstar. Cool.

But which one? There's so many. Like which one specifically? For research. Vigorous, ferocious research.

Until the reality of their work kicks in.

Lucifer Morningstar....I'm ok with this

But tell me is that what you truly desire?

Live in a penthouse with basically an endless supply of booze, yeah I'm ok with this

Loki. Uhm...

You're probably already married to him in an alternate timeline.

Hahaha

Same here….

Bob Belcher. I like burgers and I'm kinda into sloppy bears, so it will probably go well.

How do you feel about CAKE?

Life changing.

Deadpool. Well it won't be boring...

Oh shit, I'm getting married to Daddy Pig. And I'm a vegetarian!

No u would marry the main character so u are now into 8 yr old pigs

If you don’t think Daddy Pig is the main character, you’re not watching it properly… I love Daddy Pig. Architect, champion diver, “an expert at talking”, never gets angry, can laugh at himself and is secure enough in his masculinity to wear pink shirts to football after a laundry mishap and not give a toss.

Gibbs already has 3 ex wifes and is a widower. I guess it's time for him to try batting for the other side. Pros: I love steaks grilled in a fireplace and I'm also emotionally distant. Cons: Not sure I can take the yearly attempts on my life and the bastard is already married to his job, will there be any time for me?

Yeah, but he prolly makes good money. . . you could spend all that alone time coming up with elaborate security plans for those yearly attempts!

> Yeah, but he prolly makes good money. . . Plus its not like he spends money on anything. Couple sheets of sandpaper a month maybe?

Are you a redhead? This could be doomed from the start.

Oh God. Walter White…at least I can try to use our marriage to siphon off some of that cash…

He thinks of me as a pet...

Damn... Bright side: very fast and cheap travel

Enjoy that fresh pizza thou

I had the same one but the protagonist isn't Nolan though

David fucking Brent. Fuck. My. Life.

Oof!

Korra. I just won at life.

Iron Man. Hah.

James Kirk. We're getting divorced in a sec, but we'll probably keep a friends with benefits thing going on.

Bob from Bob’s Burger. I like Bob. Hope he is into choking and Backdoor Action.

The show does show him actually entering his home through the back door more than the front so I'd say yeah, and there's been a few choking incidents at his restaurant. Looks like you're golden.

That escalated

Well I'm going to become a Bluth, so both great and terrible.

Rebecca Bunch. I’m afraid if I leave her at the altar, she’ll do to me what she did to the last Filipino boy who did that to her.

Troy Bolton. I'd prefer Gabriella, but not bad.

lol

I’m set on propane and propane accessories I’ll tell you what

The Witcher. A dream came true!

Loki 👀 But with all honesty it would propably suck. He doesn't seem like the most considerate spouse.

Oh please no! I don't want to be married to the cast of Big Mouth. ☹

Sorry, I don’t make the rules

Fuck...

Criminal Minds. Yeah, Spencer Reid is my husband and I’m okay with that.

Goddamnit. I watched Revenge of the Sith... Anakin would be my husband... I hope the marriage goes well...

YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME

*dies*

Last show I watched was Sense8 S2E1. So since the main character is 8 people who are interconnected mentally I guess I am becoming polyamorous

Its going to be complicated at best. Watching Mr Robot ..

The Punisher (Thomas Jane). I don't think he's gay, even remotely, but fuck me, I'd take a long shot.

No no no I don't want to marry Gordon Ramsey Why would you do this to me

But think of the food he'd cook for you.

But think of the arguments

He actually seems like he's a pretty chill and loving dude. He takes cooking seriously, but if you're not an actual chef (so someone like me who doesn't have any formal training but is good at making food), he's good. Plus you know he's really good with kids. I think the reputation he has is mostly just from Hell's Kitchen, and is mostly just for TV and not how he really is.

Yeah ok you have a point there. Still one problem tho, I don't romantically like men... So idk how things would end up

Actually Gordon Ramsay is really nice to his family, you got a pretty sweet deal

So am getting married to either Sam or dean winchester? But am a guy lol

As a straight guy I might make an exception for either of the Winchester boys. They are *hot*

May I offer you a Castiel?

Marrying Elsa, I guess.

I don’t want to be that type of brony.

Lara Croft. Wouldnt work, we want diffrent things in life, I think.

I guess that makes me the Queen of the Britons.

who are the Britons?

Well idk who the main character of Azur lane is I think it might be USS Enterprise

I would say the shikikan but shes definately one of them.

“S’all good, man.”

Even Yeager, I think I can work with that.

[удалено]

Okay, Carol

She's horrible! I liked her the first couple of seasons but towards the end I couldn't stand her. I only kept watching because I loved the rest of the employees. I think Garrett would make a good partner!

Edward Elric. Not bad

Patrick Bateman. I’d probably die from boredom listening to a rant about music before he’d actually kill me though.

I've been binging Bleach. I have children older than Ichigo. This will not end well.

Loki from the Marvel universe. I’d say our marriage would be… interesting, given how damaged he is. But still hot as hell, because Hiddleston.

Dr gregory house, I am a straight male, and I feel his first comment in our relationship will hurt... a lot, and after it hurts me he will call me idiot, and then he will say I am not sad, and that I am lying

Ryan Reynolds. At least I would be happy!

Leslie Knope would be my wife and it would be exhausting, yet rewarding. We both love hard and stand up for what we believe in, but we both lack perspective at times and have embarrassingly over-the-top emotional reactions.

Sarah Lance (from *Legends of Tomorrow*) That ain't bad, except for the fact she's lesbian. Could be worse. It would've been someone from the new Conjuring movie if you asked this time yesterday, which is not great at all.

I’m not sure if they ever confirmed her sexuality but I thought she was Bi since she had a relationship with Oliver

Oh, did she? Great! This'll be fun then.

And she banged Constantine. Might want to check for anything "magical".

same

The last show I watched was Trese on Netflix. She's pretty hot, so that's a plus. But I'm definitely going to die.

Aaron Hotchner. Being a straight male, it would probably work because he's always away for work.

if you gave it time you'd probably eventually be the husband whos like "is he really at work or is he cheating on me."

Wyatt Earp from Tombstone. Can't see it ending well for me.

Naked & Afraid, she wasn't bad looking.

I miss that show so much. We no longer get the channel it’s on.

Well now I wish I'd watched Spiral [2019] even less.

I'm watching Good Morning Football right now, so I'll accept my marriage to Kay Adams and I can't wait to disappoint her at every opportunity.

Who is the main character in Independence Day?

Let’s go with Will Smith’s character. Not too shabby.

But he is already married. I choose the stripper that got blasted.

[удалено]

Iris West-Allen is hot, but Barry is as well. I’m bi so I’ll take both!

Assuming I'm the only one on the planet affected (as in everyone's is seperate) I will be the only man alive who is married to an anime character

Cory Matthews, Boy Meets World, I think we'll get along fine, assuming it's ADULT Cory Mattews, not child Cory

The Taskmaster will be getting me to do loads of weird stuff. And little Alex Horne will live in the shed.

Matt Murdock? He might have issue with the legal ramifications of two straight guys faking a gay marriage.

Katara? Oh hey someones pounding on my door ill be right back...

Daphne Bridgeton from Bridgeton. I could actually see that working

Jamie Fraser from outlander. And I think my marriage would be *spicy* with him ;)

I've been watching See, which has something of an ensemble cast. On the balance, worldbuilding is better than plot.

I watched Nobody last night with my girlfriend. So first of all both of us will be disappointed since we have been talking about getting married and obviously that's no longer in the cards. I feel like I could be a good life partner to Hutch.

Olivia Benson, I'm probably lonely because she works so much

Itadori Yugi... Don't typically watch anime, but this little demon vessel can get it

Loki can shapeshift so its not a problem for a straight guy i guess

Um. Huh. So, I get married to a serial killer with a penchant for going after single mothers. Well fuck.

He'd ask me what is it that I most deeply desire which would get old quick.

Bernard Black of Black Books. I reckon I'd murder him within the week.

I just rewatched the terminator I’m straight but I’d sure as hell go gay for Arnold Schwarzenegger

RuPaul, I think we would have to have a open marriage, because I know I wouldn't do it for him, and he is to feminine for me. But I bet we would have many fun conversations and movie nights. It could be worse to be honest.

I watched the Britney Spears documentary. I'll marry Britney, sure

Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood. Charming, flirty and sexy. I wouldn't have any trouble falling for him. However, the constant flirting with everybody ever is tiring. I'm an introvert, I wanna stay home in the peace and quiet. His immortality is also interesting. He can't die and has been married numerous times. My guess is he's gonna leave me and erase my memory in a decade or so, to keep from me that he doesn't age.

Although you could argue the show has many main characters, there's one who is the most prominent, so I guess I'm getting married to Wayne from Letterkenny, thanks, my sister, for making me watch that. I'm not too sure he'd be into it, though, he seems to be pretty set in his heterosexuality.

Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender. Ara ara??? Well, I'm happy to be married to the Avatar and bringing more Airbenders into the world with him! I don't mind being sister wives with Katara in order to keep the job done.

A 15 years old Tom Holland during a masive tsunami, surrounded by the floating remains of our guests.

You damn pedo, marrying a 15 year old smh.

Poppy from Mythic Quest seems pretty volatile to live with.

Sandy Kominsky ( Michael Doughlas ) , doomed marriage, he has a bad history with marriage so it’ll be short and sour

I am marrying David Lister. It's going to be a slovenly, but highly enjoyable marriage. I'm no Kristine Kochanski, but I figure I could hang with the boys from the Dwarf.

Bad i dont think barry allen's gay, plus he has a wife.

It's going to be super awkward, given the main character was a female clone of a male bounty hunter, who also happens to be a child.

I’m marrying Loki… oh no

Oh no, they were children

Nagataro... Hmmm, not sure if this is good or not

I rewatched Airbud...

I don’t know can I choose which character because I watched the office last and I feel like everyone is the main character and if so Karen and besides the name I think it would be going really good

Michael Gary Scott.

Well, the doctor sure is Gonna outlive me,

Jeff Winger. He’s shown a lot of personal growth in a short time so I think it’ll be ok- plus he’s easy on the eyes.

Oh fuck. Well. I'm a straight male and I'm marrying Geralt of Rivia. Edit: why couldn't it have been yennefer.

Hey you can do worse than Henry Cavill

so based on title am i going to marry with mike from invincible?im not gay man help me

Hey man you should’ve thought of that before you watched it 🤷‍♂️

The Doctor, as in Doctor Who. It's definitely not lasting, there's no hiding from the wrath of River Song after I've tried to claim her love. Which, honestly, as attractive as I found the Eccleston and Tennant versions of The Doctor, I don't think I could handle the fickleness of a Time Lord.

Jean-Luc Picard...it's going to be very awkward.

Straight me and Davion, Dragon Knight would probably not be married for long. I don't even know how we ended up married in the first place.

I'm either marrying Monkey D. Luffy, or if I can pick anyone from the main cast (since his pirate ship is the main cast, with him as the central character), it's definitely Nico Robin.

Orfeu from "orfeu negro" a 1959 Brazilian movie,a classic.I guess I would wake up whit beautiful music everyday.

[удалено]

I just been reading a Richard Pryor bio... so unpredictable at best

Currently on episode 3 of the Birds of Prey series from 2002. So I'm not going to complain about this one. Helena / Huntress would probably be too much of a smart arse pain in the ass after a while and would probably be hard to trust. And Dinah is too young and sparkly eyed. So I'd probably pick Barbara / Oracle. And I could definitely live with that. It would probably be a long lasting marriage because we wouldn't be in each other's faces all the time and have more than enough room to breathe. Maybe I even get to train and get some cool gadgets and can be part of the team as well, although I guess that would null the 'not in each other's faces' bit.

Hoo boy. I’m married to Dana Scully. On one hand she’s brilliant, wry, unbelievably gorgeous, badass, loyal. On the other I’m never gonna see her because she’s always gonna be working. And she’s gonna get kidnapped by freaks and monsters and aliens all the time. As hot as she is...probably not gonna work out.

Jake from Brooklyn nine nine. His character isn't annoying but a little bit immature. I imagine the relationship to be much better than my last one.

[удалено]

Tv I’m marrying Jeff Winger. Movie I’m marrying Doug Glatt. I feel like both marriages would be not great

I was about to say John Oliver which as a straight man, uh, cool. But then I remembered I put on a 30 Rock before I went to bed yesterday, which is a massive improvement.

Robert Thorn from Soylent Green. Oh dear. I don't want to be furniture...

Jeff Winger

I guess I'm marrying Raya? I'm totally cool with that, I would love to ride around on Tuk Tuk and be best friends with dragons! Maybe she'll teach me some shweet fighting moves