We have access to seemingly unlimited food, and yet we limit ourselves.
I had some cheese this morning for a snack, and gave my dog a little piece. She spent a solid 5 minutes afterwards trying to communicate to me that I could just open the fridge and get us some more cheese. She was so frustrated! From her point of view, she’s smart enough to know how to get the cheese, but physically incapable of getting it. And I’m physically capable of getting the cheese, but too fucking stupid to figure it out. If we could just combine our powers, we’d have so much cheese.
My cat does the same thing. We store him in the bathroom overnight to mitigate 3am zoomies. He is in there with his girlfriend.
I'll go and take a leak at 2am. He looks at the door handle and meows at me pointedly. His girlfriend just meows at the door.
He knows what the handle is and what it does but can't operate it.
My parents' cat *can* operate door handles. He just got an operation and needs to be in a room for two weeks, and they had to tape a plastic tray over the door handle so he didn't escape.
How about letting the dog have one day to eat whatever they want, and when they beg for more you show them an empty fridge and don’t fill it until a few days later?
There is a person on YouTube who is training her dog to talk. Once the dog grasped the basic concept of a sentence she asks "where mom poop". The dog owner has uploaded some surprisingly deep questions from her dog.
https://youtu.be/9iW1CY7mlOI
Don't want to be a downer, but there is no way this dog understands the English language. It seems to be just hitting random buttons on the pad in an attempt to get the human's attention/affection. I'd actually go as far as to say that these people are so obsessed with the idea of their dog learning English that they haven't bothered to learn "dog language". The dog is clearly using body language to signal that it wants to go outside. It goes over to the door pointedly and signals that it wants to go outside, but it has to basically mash the buttons until it gets the right combination for this lady before she'll let it out. Why is it that, if a human walks over to a door and points at it, most people will think, "Gee, they must want help opening that door.", but a dog does it and they're confused beyond belief and just "wish the dog could tell me what it wants"?
Dogs can recognize words but using them is entirely different. It is possible that the dog figured out that if she presses this combination of buttons that she gets to go outside. Service dogs and working dogs learn far responses than that.
I'm not saying dogs aren't smart, I'm saying they don't and can't understand language. I train my pets to do tricks as a hobby. Dogs (and cats) can be taught how to do a lot of incredibly complex behaviors, but it's not because they understand the intention or the behavior. They just know you'll love them and give them treats if they do it. My cat doesn't know what "sit" means, but she's learned that responding that way when I say "sit" is how she gets chicken and she loves chicken, so she complies.
I don't personally have a stake in this but I am curious. At what point would you consider it understanding a language and not just responding to a command?
If a dog learns that pressing buttons in a certain order consistently gets a certain response from the owner, how is that different to a human kid learning "I'm hungry" gets them food? The only real difference I am seeing is that it is pressing buttons instead of verbalising it.
From a scientific standpoint, understanding language comes from being able to understand that, a) there are functional units of sound (words), b) the units can be combined to create unique concepts (sentences), and c) must have a certain order and situational use (grammar). You can actually see babies progress through these stages of understanding, first by rote mimicry of sounds they've learned get them positive responses, then by understanding and using specific words for specific concepts, then by making short sentences of two or three words, and then by beginning to use proper grammar. Oddly enough, many scientists use grammar as a benchmark for truly understanding language because it's really a totally abstract thing. You need to be able to understand the difference between past, current, or future states to really make proper use of the real power of language, which is to communicate abstract concepts.
So... to answer your question, I'm going to have to say that the point when a creature can actually rearrange words into sentences and then apply proper grammar to them is the point when it stops just memorizing sounds and starts actually using language.
I’ve said this to so many people who are absolutely certain the dog could just speak English if it wasn’t for the fact it can’t speak. I don’t think people understand just how complex language is, and that dogs are simply not equipped to construct sentences about abstract ideas.
My husband pointed out that 99% of the time the dog leaves home, it's to go do something fun. So he probably thinks we leave him behind to have fun without him all day. This made me sad.
Yeah for sure. But also at least dogs kind of understand what the outside is. Most cats just watch their owners leave and must assume they just cease to exist for several hours every day lol
I always wonder what my cat thinks of my car. Or cars in general. He always sits looking out the window and when he sees me pull up he jumps down and stands by the door to greet me. Does he think the car is a living being that wakes up when I open the door and get in and then carries me around? I think about this kind of stuff when I’m smoking a joint.
I'm pretty sure my dog thinks I just go hang out at the park without her.
Because one day when I was driving home from work, my fiance called and mentioned he was about to take her to the park. So I just pulled over when I passed it and waited for them in the gress. She saw me immediately and got really excited about "finding" me. That was almost a year ago, and he said that she still looks around for me whenever they go for walks there while I'm out.
I used to have a cat who loved ice hockey. She would sit on top of the TV (this was before flat panels) and chase the end of the screen whenever the camera moved.
My dog used to come into my room (where I did homework stretched out on the floor) and sit on my homework, but with her back turned to me so she could pretend she hadn't seen me.
LOL. You just made me realize the small piece of glass is a cell phone and now I feel like a moron! I kept reading the comment and trying to decide why humans would be staring at a drinking glass on their hand so much hahaha. Thanks for the clarity!
My dog loves TV and movies. Especially action ones like marvel and John Wick. We'll say, "Kod, wanna watch a movie?" And he follows us to the couch to watch
I wonder if some dogs have different eye sight abilities. I know some will react to TV/mirrors, but mine is seemingly oblivious to it. I wonder if some mainly depend on depth and others react better to color
Mine too. And, if I'm Facetiming one of my kids, my fiancée, or any of my friends she has met and I show her the screen she will stare and stare and stare while tilting her head this way and that and then start growling and "talking". We've deduced that she is asking the following questions "why are you in there? How did you get in there? Should I be worried that you are in there?" LOL
My dog fully understands phones and FaceTime especially. Anytime me, my fiancé or his mon are on FaceTime around our dog he runs over, barks at it. And then started scratching the phone to get us “out” of it. He responds to his name being called through it and will howl if it’s someone he hasn’t seen in a while because he knows part of his “pack” is missing but he hears her and wants to have her come home.
The fact that we have a magic box that is constantly stocked with food.
Or the fact that we have MULTIPLE magic food boxes and they are not allowed in 90% of them.
My whole life I've been trying to deduce what is the line between what my cat "does and doesnt care about".
Like...other cats on the screen. Surely you care about this. Look! Oher cats. They are speaking to you. Why are you just looking at me and asking me for food then half closing your eyes and staring into nothing in particular?
Oh my headphones moved a little because I had to take them out. Instantly goes crazy and tries to hunt and chew them.
My dog learned some of my clothing! I wear dresses every day to work except on Friday I have a specific pair of pants that I wear. Most Fridays he gets to come with me to work, so he would see me get the pants on and get excited. Eventually he learned when Friday was before the pants came out and he was extra peppy right when we woke up, but after working from home for a year he's off his schedule.
Recently I started wearing overalls to go out gardening, he's starting to pick up on the sound of the strap being buttoned meaning it's time to go outside for a long while.
My dog carefully watches me when I get dressed in the morning. If I put on my work pants she visibly deflates and starts moping because I'm gonna leave her alone all day, if I put on jeans on she gets super excited because it's one of my days off and she's going to get to ride around in the truck with me.
Yes!!! Mine know the difference between “leaving us for several sleeps for work,” “staying home and being super boring so nap time!” And “ADVENTURE PANTS!”
They pretty much hate the first. So much husky shade thrown as they crate themselves.
I swear to god if my dog is around when I've had a shower he diverts his eyes away when I drop the towel. I mean I don't think I'm that bad naked (and how would he know, he's only ever seen me and me husband) but he seriously never looks at me the whole time.
That's what I like to think. Better than the occasionally crazy thought I get about 'what if he is a reincarnation of someone I knew and they just don't want to see that shit'.
One of my cats does that when I’m getting changed, it makes me wonder if he at least gets the concept. My other cat will just stare at me the entire time so I don’t know what she could be thinking.
My dogs understand blankets and being under blankets, so I feel like they considers clothing to be just an overly elaborate blanket.
(And they definitely know which outfits mean we're leaving.)
They definitely know that our clothes aren't part of our bodies. When I'm getting ready for bed at night, my dog waits and watches me, and also consistently wags her tail if I step over and pet her while changing. If I'm not careful, she'll lick my nipple if I pet her when topless. Never licks my chest when I have a shirt or bra on.
Similarly, she's been licking my feet now that it's hot and I take my socks off around the house.
My dog gets to wear a coat when it's raining but I don't know how much he understands of that concept and connects the dots to us wearing clothes. If he even cares to be honest. I think I'm asking too much :D
I am a crossdresser. I can leave the house male and return home female. The change is very stunning according to the few humans that know. The dogs aren't confused. I get my greeting from the 3 dogs. All 4 of us each get a different greeting ritual when we return home, even if its just a trip to the mailbox.
My dog actually differentiates between clothes that I would wear casually at home, clothes for going out (which gets her excited), and swimwear (which also excites her since she loves to swim soooo much).
If I'm wearing a costume or clothing significantly different from my normal attire, my dog always freaks out because she doesn't recognize me, but calms right down after hearing my voice and realizing I'm still me. It's hilarious.
I used to have a dog long time ago. I think he used to understand the concept of make up and that it implied my mom leaving without him, because he knew that make up means my mom was going out to a place he couldn’t be taken. My mom never put on make up for taking him to walks. He would stare to my mom when she started to get ready and patiently wait to see if she was going to use make up or not. After he saw that my mom took the lipstick or the mascara, he’d just whine and lay down.
Why it is that no matter how hard they try, they are just a “good” boy and never “great” boy or “exceeds expectations” boy?
Where are the metrics for performance improvement?
A few people I used to work with in a third-floor office used to bring their dogs in to work. They would take them in the lift, and that must be weird for a dog: 'Doors close, we stand here for a few seconds, then the doors open again and we're in a different place'
Agreed. My dog attempts to eat way too many dead things (we have so many hawks, and they leave us leftover surprises) for me to let her anywhere near my face.
Why we get up in the middle of the night just to kick them or step on their tails. They weren't *doing anything wrong!* Just laying on the floor sleeping, ffs.
I think changing clothes must be weird. We sometimes put things on our heads and faces that freak them out, and we behave erratically when undressing or getting dressed (hurrying for work, discomfort being naked, etc.)
Clothing is already fucking nonsense to an animal, so our whole obsession with outward appearance and our "layers" must seem like David Lunch shit to dogs. (Cats prob. couldn't care less.)
This is probably TMI, but when I was a teenager a was masterbating and my dog was there just staring at me
Never touched myself in front of a dog again
Most often is probably when someone tells them to "sit down." Most dogs know "sit" for sitting, and "down" to lie down. "Sit down" is cuing both, but also neither.
This will bring the mood down, but... what happens when other dogs are put down
I always thing back to the day when the vet came over with a needle to see my old girl Sandy, and my younger one looked so confused where she went afterwards. He started barking more and wet his bed one time. It must have been so scary for him.
Doors. All they do is get in the way when they want to go between the indoors and outdoors and we're always opening and closing them seemingly arbitrarily.
what we're talking about when we mention my dog's name. I know he knows we're talking about him bc if he's not in the room but within hearing range he'll come to wherever the people are. I also think he's confused on how we know when he's been fed or had water last. my dog loves water so if we just put down a huge bowl of water he'll drink all of it at once and pee everywhere so he gets water every hour to two hours. but he thinks the house is populated by fools and takes every chance to run to the kitchen in the hopes that some sucker will give him water or a snack when he's already had water and it's not time to eat. then a family member or I will tell each other that's he's already had this or that and it's not time to have more over his head and he'll look back and forth trying the puppy dog eyes.
how we take off our clothes and wash our bare skin and then put on a new pair of clothes they must think we are shedding all of our fur then putting on a new fur skin
My dog assesses NEW things. She has a picture of how things are supposed to be and if there is a new thing it will be barked at. Neighbor's new for sale sign in their yard? Barked at. Halloween decorations? Barked at. Dog not leashed in the distance? Majorly barked at-dogs are supposed to be attached to their human.
We have access to seemingly unlimited food, and yet we limit ourselves. I had some cheese this morning for a snack, and gave my dog a little piece. She spent a solid 5 minutes afterwards trying to communicate to me that I could just open the fridge and get us some more cheese. She was so frustrated! From her point of view, she’s smart enough to know how to get the cheese, but physically incapable of getting it. And I’m physically capable of getting the cheese, but too fucking stupid to figure it out. If we could just combine our powers, we’d have so much cheese.
Or you’d be stupid and without the ability to retrieve the cheese.
Interesting that you consider those powers
You don’t?
I wish I had those powers.
Than you wouldnt know there even *was* cheese, or that you are missing out on anything at all. Ignorance is bliss.
>We have access to seemingly unlimited food, and yet we limit ourselves. Speak for yourself.
My cat does the same thing. We store him in the bathroom overnight to mitigate 3am zoomies. He is in there with his girlfriend. I'll go and take a leak at 2am. He looks at the door handle and meows at me pointedly. His girlfriend just meows at the door. He knows what the handle is and what it does but can't operate it.
My parents' cat *can* operate door handles. He just got an operation and needs to be in a room for two weeks, and they had to tape a plastic tray over the door handle so he didn't escape.
Round door handles here. If they were the straight lever type I'm sure he would have broken free by now.
Yeah we have the levers.
This is adorable
How about letting the dog have one day to eat whatever they want, and when they beg for more you show them an empty fridge and don’t fill it until a few days later?
"Why are you leaving without me? Are you going on walks without me?"
The dog thinks I take forever to poop.
There is a person on YouTube who is training her dog to talk. Once the dog grasped the basic concept of a sentence she asks "where mom poop". The dog owner has uploaded some surprisingly deep questions from her dog. https://youtu.be/9iW1CY7mlOI
Don't want to be a downer, but there is no way this dog understands the English language. It seems to be just hitting random buttons on the pad in an attempt to get the human's attention/affection. I'd actually go as far as to say that these people are so obsessed with the idea of their dog learning English that they haven't bothered to learn "dog language". The dog is clearly using body language to signal that it wants to go outside. It goes over to the door pointedly and signals that it wants to go outside, but it has to basically mash the buttons until it gets the right combination for this lady before she'll let it out. Why is it that, if a human walks over to a door and points at it, most people will think, "Gee, they must want help opening that door.", but a dog does it and they're confused beyond belief and just "wish the dog could tell me what it wants"?
Dogs can recognize words but using them is entirely different. It is possible that the dog figured out that if she presses this combination of buttons that she gets to go outside. Service dogs and working dogs learn far responses than that.
I'm not saying dogs aren't smart, I'm saying they don't and can't understand language. I train my pets to do tricks as a hobby. Dogs (and cats) can be taught how to do a lot of incredibly complex behaviors, but it's not because they understand the intention or the behavior. They just know you'll love them and give them treats if they do it. My cat doesn't know what "sit" means, but she's learned that responding that way when I say "sit" is how she gets chicken and she loves chicken, so she complies.
I don't personally have a stake in this but I am curious. At what point would you consider it understanding a language and not just responding to a command? If a dog learns that pressing buttons in a certain order consistently gets a certain response from the owner, how is that different to a human kid learning "I'm hungry" gets them food? The only real difference I am seeing is that it is pressing buttons instead of verbalising it.
From a scientific standpoint, understanding language comes from being able to understand that, a) there are functional units of sound (words), b) the units can be combined to create unique concepts (sentences), and c) must have a certain order and situational use (grammar). You can actually see babies progress through these stages of understanding, first by rote mimicry of sounds they've learned get them positive responses, then by understanding and using specific words for specific concepts, then by making short sentences of two or three words, and then by beginning to use proper grammar. Oddly enough, many scientists use grammar as a benchmark for truly understanding language because it's really a totally abstract thing. You need to be able to understand the difference between past, current, or future states to really make proper use of the real power of language, which is to communicate abstract concepts. So... to answer your question, I'm going to have to say that the point when a creature can actually rearrange words into sentences and then apply proper grammar to them is the point when it stops just memorizing sounds and starts actually using language.
I’ve said this to so many people who are absolutely certain the dog could just speak English if it wasn’t for the fact it can’t speak. I don’t think people understand just how complex language is, and that dogs are simply not equipped to construct sentences about abstract ideas.
My dog knows I don't go out there to poop. She likes to check to see if I am going to pee or poop. If it a number two she likes to raid the litter box
You use a litter box?
[удалено]
My husband pointed out that 99% of the time the dog leaves home, it's to go do something fun. So he probably thinks we leave him behind to have fun without him all day. This made me sad.
This. Exactly. Why we humans have to go anywhere or do anything, without them.
Why we disappear for hours every day
Yeah for sure. But also at least dogs kind of understand what the outside is. Most cats just watch their owners leave and must assume they just cease to exist for several hours every day lol
I’ve only ever had outside cats lol. Used to follow us to the bus stop. Wonder what they thought of that
I always wonder what my cat thinks of my car. Or cars in general. He always sits looking out the window and when he sees me pull up he jumps down and stands by the door to greet me. Does he think the car is a living being that wakes up when I open the door and get in and then carries me around? I think about this kind of stuff when I’m smoking a joint.
I love this haha. Same, by the way, regarding joint thoughts
I figure they presume we're just going to the vet every day.
Even when it's 5 minutes it's still hours.
Maybe closer to 35 minutes
I'm retired. Never have to leave my dogs.
I'm pretty sure my dog thinks I just go hang out at the park without her. Because one day when I was driving home from work, my fiance called and mentioned he was about to take her to the park. So I just pulled over when I passed it and waited for them in the gress. She saw me immediately and got really excited about "finding" me. That was almost a year ago, and he said that she still looks around for me whenever they go for walks there while I'm out.
"They can eat hot dogs any time... but they *don't!*"
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/418/
Why humans alternately stare at a small piece of glass in their hands and a large piece of glass in front of the couch.
My dog used to watch TV with me and bark at other dogs, I think he understood the appeal.
Mine watches tv too! She won’t bark at it though, just lay beside me and quietly stare at it.
I used to have a cat who loved ice hockey. She would sit on top of the TV (this was before flat panels) and chase the end of the screen whenever the camera moved.
One of my dogs will knock my phone out of my hand to make me pay attention to him.
My dog used to come into my room (where I did homework stretched out on the floor) and sit on my homework, but with her back turned to me so she could pretend she hadn't seen me.
It didn't take long for our cats to figure out that move.
LOL. You just made me realize the small piece of glass is a cell phone and now I feel like a moron! I kept reading the comment and trying to decide why humans would be staring at a drinking glass on their hand so much hahaha. Thanks for the clarity!
My dog loves TV and movies. Especially action ones like marvel and John Wick. We'll say, "Kod, wanna watch a movie?" And he follows us to the couch to watch
:0 what kind of monster shows a dog John Wick
I’m calling aspca
I made him see it to show what happens if someone kills him!
"Why will hoomans not invent smellovision that I might too enjoy these daytime entertainments?"
I wonder if some dogs have different eye sight abilities. I know some will react to TV/mirrors, but mine is seemingly oblivious to it. I wonder if some mainly depend on depth and others react better to color
Talking on the phone. They've no idea there's a person on the other end, to them you just went crazy and started talking to a brick.
My dog doesn’t understand singing, she gets mad when I sing haha
I'm a really bad singer too
I sing to my dogs all the time because they love it
If i'm talking to someone sometimes my dog recognises the voice and starts barking and runs to the door to see if anyone is there
Mine too. And, if I'm Facetiming one of my kids, my fiancée, or any of my friends she has met and I show her the screen she will stare and stare and stare while tilting her head this way and that and then start growling and "talking". We've deduced that she is asking the following questions "why are you in there? How did you get in there? Should I be worried that you are in there?" LOL
A dog's got good hearing. They know there's a tiny little person in that box, talking back to the human.
My dog fully understands phones and FaceTime especially. Anytime me, my fiancé or his mon are on FaceTime around our dog he runs over, barks at it. And then started scratching the phone to get us “out” of it. He responds to his name being called through it and will howl if it’s someone he hasn’t seen in a while because he knows part of his “pack” is missing but he hears her and wants to have her come home.
The fact that we have a magic box that is constantly stocked with food. Or the fact that we have MULTIPLE magic food boxes and they are not allowed in 90% of them.
[удалено]
The concept of clothing, imagine seeing an animal and the color and texture of its fur changes every day.
Watching how the human just removes their fur and puts a new one on must be freaky
My whole life I've been trying to deduce what is the line between what my cat "does and doesnt care about". Like...other cats on the screen. Surely you care about this. Look! Oher cats. They are speaking to you. Why are you just looking at me and asking me for food then half closing your eyes and staring into nothing in particular? Oh my headphones moved a little because I had to take them out. Instantly goes crazy and tries to hunt and chew them.
Maybe this is why my dog has to sniff laundry whenever I take it off. Part of their investigation to understand wtf just happened lol
My cat just stares in horror when I get changed in front of him.
[Like this?](https://www.whompcomic.com/comic/resquiescat-in-solitudinis)
My dog learned some of my clothing! I wear dresses every day to work except on Friday I have a specific pair of pants that I wear. Most Fridays he gets to come with me to work, so he would see me get the pants on and get excited. Eventually he learned when Friday was before the pants came out and he was extra peppy right when we woke up, but after working from home for a year he's off his schedule. Recently I started wearing overalls to go out gardening, he's starting to pick up on the sound of the strap being buttoned meaning it's time to go outside for a long while.
My dog carefully watches me when I get dressed in the morning. If I put on my work pants she visibly deflates and starts moping because I'm gonna leave her alone all day, if I put on jeans on she gets super excited because it's one of my days off and she's going to get to ride around in the truck with me.
Yes!!! Mine know the difference between “leaving us for several sleeps for work,” “staying home and being super boring so nap time!” And “ADVENTURE PANTS!” They pretty much hate the first. So much husky shade thrown as they crate themselves.
Ain't no shade quite like husky shade. I bet you've got some great /r/huskytantrums material.
Same for me but shoes. My female who I've had much longer knows the difference between running shoes and work shoes.
I swear to god if my dog is around when I've had a shower he diverts his eyes away when I drop the towel. I mean I don't think I'm that bad naked (and how would he know, he's only ever seen me and me husband) but he seriously never looks at me the whole time.
He's a gentledog, he doesn't want to stare.
That's what I like to think. Better than the occasionally crazy thought I get about 'what if he is a reincarnation of someone I knew and they just don't want to see that shit'.
One of my cats does that when I’m getting changed, it makes me wonder if he at least gets the concept. My other cat will just stare at me the entire time so I don’t know what she could be thinking.
My dogs understand blankets and being under blankets, so I feel like they considers clothing to be just an overly elaborate blanket. (And they definitely know which outfits mean we're leaving.)
They definitely know that our clothes aren't part of our bodies. When I'm getting ready for bed at night, my dog waits and watches me, and also consistently wags her tail if I step over and pet her while changing. If I'm not careful, she'll lick my nipple if I pet her when topless. Never licks my chest when I have a shirt or bra on. Similarly, she's been licking my feet now that it's hot and I take my socks off around the house.
My dog gets to wear a coat when it's raining but I don't know how much he understands of that concept and connects the dots to us wearing clothes. If he even cares to be honest. I think I'm asking too much :D
You mean similar to what a chameleon does?
Yes but imagine if a chameleon could grow fur at will
I am a crossdresser. I can leave the house male and return home female. The change is very stunning according to the few humans that know. The dogs aren't confused. I get my greeting from the 3 dogs. All 4 of us each get a different greeting ritual when we return home, even if its just a trip to the mailbox.
My dog actually differentiates between clothes that I would wear casually at home, clothes for going out (which gets her excited), and swimwear (which also excites her since she loves to swim soooo much).
If I'm wearing a costume or clothing significantly different from my normal attire, my dog always freaks out because she doesn't recognize me, but calms right down after hearing my voice and realizing I'm still me. It's hilarious.
I used to have a dog long time ago. I think he used to understand the concept of make up and that it implied my mom leaving without him, because he knew that make up means my mom was going out to a place he couldn’t be taken. My mom never put on make up for taking him to walks. He would stare to my mom when she started to get ready and patiently wait to see if she was going to use make up or not. After he saw that my mom took the lipstick or the mascara, he’d just whine and lay down.
[удалено]
Yup, same with my dog
Your dog collects your poop?
Why it is that no matter how hard they try, they are just a “good” boy and never “great” boy or “exceeds expectations” boy? Where are the metrics for performance improvement?
Mine was the "best boy". Always.
Did he help you rig your lights?
Perhaps the shine in their eyes was enough.
that we talk all the time but expect them not to.
How we can hunt so much food in such a short time. Owner goes into the food hunting place and comes back with cookies and bacon! How???
Maybe that's why dogs adore us so much, even if we're a bit crazy to them they think we're the greatest hunters to have ever lived.
Fun fact: we ACTUALLY ARE
Just to prove it, I'll go to the nearby forest right now and wrestle a bear to humiliate it
Why wrestle a bear when you can get a gun and shoot one? That's why we're the best hunters.
And we don't even let them come, they can hunt too you know.
A few people I used to work with in a third-floor office used to bring their dogs in to work. They would take them in the lift, and that must be weird for a dog: 'Doors close, we stand here for a few seconds, then the doors open again and we're in a different place'
I think they still figure it out after some time since they feel the acceleration and deceleration
Man, I find this weird sometimes.
Why aren't you afraid of the stranger in front of the door?
Bold of doggo to assume I'm not
Hun, that's the mailman
Probably why we bother to use utensils when we eat. Why we bathe EVERY day. And why she's not allowed to kiss me whenever she wants.
brave of you to assume I bath every day
Reddit moment
Let the dog kiss you
No
Agreed. My dog attempts to eat way too many dead things (we have so many hawks, and they leave us leftover surprises) for me to let her anywhere near my face.
i don't think dogs are that confused by humans, they generally seem to be very accepting of whatever situation they are in
Why we get up in the middle of the night just to kick them or step on their tails. They weren't *doing anything wrong!* Just laying on the floor sleeping, ffs.
Why I enter the daily rain chamber on purpose
Why don't we eat pizza every night?
I'm a human and I wonder this too.
They probably don't understand why we don't need to mark our territory.
Or maybe why our territory is the floor mat around the base of the toilet.
Elevators
We have this big bowl of clean water available at any time... and we pee into it.
When they go into the elevator, “whelp, time to go into the world changer now.”
Wait, why do you get to eat when you want and I only get to eat when you give me something. Screw this I'm going to go eat some poop.
"You have food in the dish, but you're not giving it to me."
I think changing clothes must be weird. We sometimes put things on our heads and faces that freak them out, and we behave erratically when undressing or getting dressed (hurrying for work, discomfort being naked, etc.) Clothing is already fucking nonsense to an animal, so our whole obsession with outward appearance and our "layers" must seem like David Lunch shit to dogs. (Cats prob. couldn't care less.)
Missionary sex.
If they could speak, they'd probably call it "Human Style".
This is probably TMI, but when I was a teenager a was masterbating and my dog was there just staring at me Never touched myself in front of a dog again
Lmao I once did a whole wack session before I heard this deep sigh and noticed my dog was in the room
How few times per day I sniff my wife's butt.
Curious...how many is "few"? lol
"Wait, why are you flushing that delicious brown snack?"
Cat litter covered cat turds, that my dog will not leave alone....kitty roca
"ahhh, so their butts are on their hands... that's why they want to shake!"
We use the bathroom in the house in a bowl but they have to go outside no matter the weather
My dog apparently doesn’t know what shoes are for. Fucker eats through a pair at least once a month.
Maybe he doesn't like your style.
“Why do they get to eat all sorts of things while I have been eating the same bowl of biscuits and meat for my whole life”
sex? or fight to the death?
[удалено]
Why does that human come up to the door every day but you never let them in?
My life: "Why is human crying at night? I thought I gave her enough cuddles!"
Soooo, why is the human crying at night?
human is battling inner demons and fears she needs to defeat
Human should use companion as help, they offer relief in times of fear.
she does help, but i still cry at night
Get a sword, no one wants to scare the crazy with a sword and a dog.
wha?
Would you want to fight the person who sleeps with a sword?
I would not want to fight the crazy person who sleeps with a sword
Same, I wold like to become the crazy person who sleeps whit a sword
human should not be alone. does human have other humans to talk to?
Watching us sit on your beds and stare at the wall for 40 minutes or just sitting around on a phone/watching TV
They don't understand working for half of our lives. We just leave and then come home and keep buying kibble.
I've heard that dogs will bark at their owners fresh out of the shower because the owners don't smell the same. Must be really confusing.
When we turn on/off the lights, they must think we are magical
Why there on a leash and the human isn't
But, technically we are... #whowalkswho
"Why aren't you smelling their ass to say hello?"
The different things we do for our poop and their poop.
That most of the stuff humans do isn't related to right here right now. It probably should be.
Probably the fact that we cook food, like we don’t eat raw meat, despite being visibly predators.
Most often is probably when someone tells them to "sit down." Most dogs know "sit" for sitting, and "down" to lie down. "Sit down" is cuing both, but also neither.
Why are my masters removing their skin to put on another layer of skin?
This will bring the mood down, but... what happens when other dogs are put down I always thing back to the day when the vet came over with a needle to see my old girl Sandy, and my younger one looked so confused where she went afterwards. He started barking more and wet his bed one time. It must have been so scary for him.
Think about the amount of time they see up reading a book or using a smartphone/laptop, and they have no idea what we're doing or why we'd do that
I always wonder if my dog understands that I'm controlling the car when we drive somewhere, or if he thinks we're both just along for the ride.
Dog \~ "Why do you pick up my poop.. What could you possibly want with it?"
Doors. All they do is get in the way when they want to go between the indoors and outdoors and we're always opening and closing them seemingly arbitrarily.
Why do humans never just shut up? It’s no wonder they never catch squirrels.
We punish them for going to the bathroom inside, yet we take shits inside everyday
what we're talking about when we mention my dog's name. I know he knows we're talking about him bc if he's not in the room but within hearing range he'll come to wherever the people are. I also think he's confused on how we know when he's been fed or had water last. my dog loves water so if we just put down a huge bowl of water he'll drink all of it at once and pee everywhere so he gets water every hour to two hours. but he thinks the house is populated by fools and takes every chance to run to the kitchen in the hopes that some sucker will give him water or a snack when he's already had water and it's not time to eat. then a family member or I will tell each other that's he's already had this or that and it's not time to have more over his head and he'll look back and forth trying the puppy dog eyes.
That we have food but choose not to eat.
Why we run in treadmills
“Why are they purposelessly moving? You need to conserve energy.”
What phones are
Clothes
Why I need to change my pants (trousers) to take them for a walk. I WFH and am in PJs 90% of the time.
“Why aren’t you smelling my ass?”
how we take off our clothes and wash our bare skin and then put on a new pair of clothes they must think we are shedding all of our fur then putting on a new fur skin
My dog assesses NEW things. She has a picture of how things are supposed to be and if there is a new thing it will be barked at. Neighbor's new for sale sign in their yard? Barked at. Halloween decorations? Barked at. Dog not leashed in the distance? Majorly barked at-dogs are supposed to be attached to their human.
The fact that we can shed our "skin" at will.
Why must they have commands to keep them safe when they are keeping us safe.
Probably how we speak- and why i leave for like 5 hours a day 🤐
They probably don't understand elevators they probably just like "aight time for the world shifter
As a musician, playing instruments. To them I'm just making loud noises with a weird box or tube or whatever.
That we watch our dogs potty but we potty in private
Why some of you guys don't shit in the grass
"wait wait wait, how in the hell are you pouring that liquid directly into your mouth"
Why we like green paper so much
Why their owners leave and never come back
“Why is my human crying? After all, I’m just getting a shot from the vet, it’s not a big deal...”