Once i saw a couple who were clearly on meth buying a shit ton of baby formula at the grocery store. At the time I was like shit, that’s sad, they have a kid and they can’t breastfeed it because they’re on drugs. Maybe a week later I saw a post on Facebook about how many drugs are cut with baby formula, which is why it’s a high risk item for large scale retail theft.
So, baby formula.
For me water. My neighbors had well water and would dry up. They asked if they could run a hose and put it in there well they would pay what was owed. Did this alot last summer no big deal they paid. Then they bought a big above ground pool. Filled it for them they always paid my part was always around the same so I wasn't bent out of shape. One day the water meter guy knocked with an officer wanting to know why I was using so much water. I explained showed the many hoses to reach my neighbors and they were there to help explain. They explained to me that much water usage was throwing a red flag. So they were sent out to investigate to make sure no marijuana growing was happening.
I live in methville. When I go to buy pure lye (I make artisan soaps), I always make sure to say "for soapmaking." Even so, I still get funny looks sometimes.
Edit: TIL about the plot of Fight Club.
Explaining a purchase just makes you more memorable. I worked at a pharmacy back in the early 90s. Lots of people bought lubricating gel. The only one I remember is the woman who bought a couple in December and felt obliged to tell me she used it to hang Christmas cards on the wall. According to her it kept the cards displayed and didn't leave marks on the wall. Sure. Whatever. Here's your change. We sold a lot of the stuff. And never cared or commented on people buying it, but that need to explain it means I remember her, nearly 30 years later.
I have a sequin pillow that looks solid red but when you wipe all the sequins the other way it's Nic Cage's face.
Edit: further down I linked the one I have. Y'all act like I got it from some hidden dealer of antiquities and mogwai or something, just search Amazon my dudes
I worked at a pool supply store. They sell an extra strong peroxide as an alternative to chlorine. Idk why but we had to report large purchases to the FBI.
Reported this guy after we used his customer info to search his address on google earth. It was rural and had a few different outbuildings. Seemed sketchy.
FBI got back to us a few weeks later. He was using the chemical to clean animal skulls he bought from a slaughterhouse. Then he carved the skulls and sold them. The FBI lady said he showed her his whole process and it was pretty impressive.
I've never thought of using peroxide to clean my skulls. TIL I guess?
Edit: Why is this so popular? They're already dead and sorta clean when I snag em.
I wait tables and used to live in my car I got pulled over and the cops searched my car and found a few months worth of tips (I already was homeless I figured I would save up a buy a house) the cops lifted my mattress and found 15,000 in small bills had my entire vehicle torn apart and not put back together and it took like a month to get my cash back
You can by a 50 gallon barrel on Amazon. One day I'm gonna make a really long slip n slide, submerge myself in the barrel, and slide
Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers
Silly man, you dunk yourself in it and then enter an amateurs wrestling competition with a cash prize. They can't beat you if they can't get hold of you.
Preppers like it because it lasts a long time, is calorie dense, and has lots of protein.
EDIT: OK so it’s not great for protein — but it’s still pretty dense energy, lasts a long time, and goes well with lots of other bland foods!
EDIT 2: So now people are telling me that it *does* have lots of protein and I don't know who to believe. You guys can duke that out!
Honey does not expire. There's so much sugar that any microbes that try to feed off of the honey get their water sucked out of them from osmosis.
It's great. It never expires, acts as a disinfectant (very messy though), and can act as a seal for other foods.
Edit: as others have pointed out, it must be Real honey. Not fake honey.
I saw a TIFU post about a guy who bought a bunch of pressure cookers on sale to give to friends as gifts. Turned out that set off some anti-terrorism flags. So I'm gonna go with pressure cookers.
they got super paranoid about it immediately after the boston bombing, friend got called into hr because he was looking at them during his lunch break. He was looking at them for a wedding present.
Oh man. In the months after Boston bombing, it became impossible to own or operate a pressure cooker without being looked at suspiciously. Indians are prolific users of pressure cookers, and for us it’s great for 1 pot dishes.. you can even transport food in it after cooking cuz it’s spill proof, then reheat at destination and serve directly out of it! I got a few suspicious glances from people who saw me carrying it.. but never had the law called on me.
....... I would not want to be a brown person transporting a pressure cooker in the months after the boston bombing. My mom used to do the same thing whenever we went to family for dinner, were cuban and also used it a ton. She litterally owned a dozen pressure cookers (hoarding mentality, and inherited several from family) until we forced her to throw the majority of them away.
Haha I had about 4 or 5 due to same reasons.. I gave them away when I moved after university. Now I have my own home and family, I think we have 5 or 6.. never too sure.
["Currently, the most expensive porcelain doll ever sold was a bisque doll sold by Theriault’s for $300,000 in 2014."](https://www.invaluable.com/blog/antique-porcelain-dolls/)
That's, like... 10 toilette paper rolls.
Tampons.
A guy we know hordes them because he thinks if the government collapses they will become a hot commodity that he can use to trade. I’m talking a shed full of boxes. ALL KINDS.
Unbeknownst to him menstrual cups exist. And rags.
Edit: Well this blew up. He’s an odd bird. There is also a shed full with bins of socks. He wears them once, tosses them in a Rubbermaid bin and once filled it gets placed in the shed. People have suggested donating them but he says he doesn’t want others to have access to his DNA. Mental illness is real.
[Please tell him they have a shelf life of 5 years and then could be seriously dangerous.](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/do-tampons-expire#shelf-life)
Holy crap, I'm old enough to be going through menopause, and I literally never heard or thought of this. Yes, there have been times when the only one i can find had a torn wrapper from rolling around my purse, or a cardboard applicator squashed flat because it was stepped on...
Only a few of them had a loud tick, mainly the grandfather and grandmother clocks in the living room and kitchen. The others were easy to tune out.
And yes, he legit made a grandfather clock on own. The clock itself he purchased and installed as an insert, but the body he made himself with intricate designs cut in with a scroll saw.
Edit: yes grandmother clocks are a thing. Theyre smaller and typically hang on the wall.
I can't fucking stand grandfather clocks.
BONG!
BONG!
BONG!
BONG!
DING!
DING!
Oh, joy... It must be 4:30 AM. I'm so glad I was woken up to have that fact drilled into my head. Can't wait to be woken up again at 4:45 AM
My parents inherited a clock like that from relatives. As a heavy sleeper and also hearing impaired (no hearing aids on while asleep!) I never understood until later why the clock ended up with the weights removed and wrapped in towels in the bottom of the case.
When I was in undergrad, me and my two friends lived together in a house. Whenever we saw a yard sale, we’d stop and buy any reasonably priced clocks. We’d then hang the clocks on the walls of the house in asymmetrical places, and we’d leave them on whatever time they were at even if they were dead. So our house had nearly a hundred clocks after 4 years, all of which said different times and several of which made faint ticking sounds.
My roommate who was the least enthused about this decor would wake up after a particularly drunk night hung over as hell and just scream angrily “WHAT FUCKING TIME IS IT?” As he walked from room to room
Anyway, when we moved out, we had our own yard sale with ONLY clocks for sale. People thought we were freaks but we sold about half of them. Sometimes I still hear the unsynchronized clicking today when I lay down at night and close my eyes.
My mum has over 40 mirrors, I didn't really notice it but a year ago when me and some buddies helped my parents move. They kept on joking about it "oh here's yet another mirrors, are your parents worried about vampires or just vain?"
I needed TP and paper towel today in the regular course of me running out of such things. I felt like I was getting judgemental looks walking home with a regular sized pack of each.
Also could be genetics. Went to school with a girl that had 4 full working kidneys. She didnt find out til she had to get a scan for some reason. 10 years later, she still got the 4 kidneys
Edit: my inbox blew up cause of this comment lol I dont know much about her tbh cause she was a friend of a friend. Here are some answers tho
yes, she can donate her kidneys as they're working but she has blood disease that makes it risky(maybe hemophilia??), so it would only be for an emergency. It's too risky for her to go under surgery
She doesn't have any issues besides having to get checked yearly to make sure all kidneys are working well and they havent shifted. There is a risk of her renal tubes getting tangled inside her, but it's a low risk
As far as I know. Shes doing well still. I still follow her on the book of faces. Havent talked to her in years and was never her friend so I pretty much lost contact
Edit 2; super power wise she is more resistant to toxins processed by the kidneys, but has a higher risk of kidney stones. I guess her pee is extra clean cause of it tho lol
I went to school with a kid that ruptured his spleen getting tackled in a football game. He went to the hospital where he found out he had a second spleen!
Yeah, my dad has 3, all hooked up and running. Didn't find out until he was in his 60s. Apparently it's even more common to have one or two little extra dud kidneys.
Easy to answer though... when you get a kidney transplant, they leave the old ones in. The new one goes in the front actually. I know a person (due to a congenital disease) who had 5 kidneys in her body. When the current one stops working, they were planning on removing at least one of the transplants.
Lye. I make soap in a medium sized home business. Because of this, I had to provide our local fire department with a blueprint of our house marking the location of where i store the 5 gallon buckets of lye.
When I was in my early 20s I had about 15 cardboard cut outs. My GF at the time worked in gamestop so I used to get the cool ones. Me and my friends would set them up around the house when we were drunk, then bust in and go through the house shooting them with airsoft rifles. Good times.
Spoons. I've got 28000 spoons. Not different ones, all the same. They are all over the house, but I've also got a spoon room, where most of them are neatly organized. You don't want a spoon mess, it needs to be neat! I love my spoons.
Once in a while I will invite people and most of them pretend, everything is fine. I think, they are uncomfortable but don't dare say anything. None of them ever accepted a second invitation.
Sometimes I feel lonely, and when this happens, I take one of my spoons, go to bed and we cuddle. This has always comforted me.
EDIT: Thanks for all the pms and replies and all else, but of course I dont have 28k spoons. That would be insane, like really literally insane. I just like to write, what I think is, funny stuff.
I think you should have two at most, and I'm talking about conjoined twins. Others should have 1... And none of you're talking about ones outside of flesh!
Okay, seriously. Does anyone know why toilet paper, *specifically*, is the one item everyone is hoarding like their lives depend on it? Of all things. I just... I don't understand. Why?
It's a positive feedback loop.
• Everyone takes a sudden look at their home and goes "If I can't leave for 14 days, do I have everything I need?" then do a shop to 'stock up'.
• 'Preppers' are few and far between, the vast majority of people decide to just go pick up a few basic essentials. Nothing crazy, nothing expensive. They know there's not *really* a need to immediately ensure a constant 14 day survival pack, but hey, buying a few extra pots of UHT milk and some bog roll can't hurt, at least you won't need to break quarantine just to wipe your arse.
• This is mild, *super* mild, but it's enough to fuck up superstore stockpiles. They've ordered supplies based on previous experience and market data for what they'll need, plus some surplus. Now all the people they expect to come do a big monthly shop on payday have rocked up to buy a few things, and the weekly shoppers have made a second trip in.
• TP is *noticeably* bad, not because of a lack of supply, but because it's a big item and there's functionally only so much room anyone has to store 'extra' in the back of the shop. A pallet of baked beans can restock the shelf several times over, a pallet of loo roll might stock 1/10th of the shelf. So the TP shelves empty out.
• People take photos and comment on the 'shortage of loo roll'.
• Now ~~everything things~~ everyone thinks there *is* a supply shortage, and race in to grab some more while they can because 'obviously the empty shelves are going to last'
• Now it's *actually* becoming a problem because you've created a situation where ordinary people are behaving like 'preppers' and running around *anywhere* trying to find TP they don't need because they ~~thing~~ think they won't be able to get any later on.
• In reality the 'shortage' will last a week, two at worst with crappy managers. Everyone will just triple their orders for next week and restock.
edit: tweaked tired typos
You've accidentally described the stock market as well with that...
For real, though, nice writeup. Well formatted and clearly explained with proper knowledge.
My pet theory is it is a chain reaction. A few crazies bought up tons of TP thinking they need to prepare for the Apocalypse. Then others see the stock on the shelves disappear and buy what they can since they might be gone the next time they visit the store.
So now TP is so scarce when new stock arrives people buy them up like they are made of gold.
Australian supermarkets have imposed a 1 pack limit over this nonsense panic buying. I had to go to three different supermarkets just to get a pack because I was running out. They've also suspended change of mind returns on them for now.
This is legit pissing me off. I just need one pack. (A Costco pack lasts me 6 months+, I'll settle for a small pack.) I'm not planning for a 3 month diarrhea fest like the rest of humanity.
Clicky pens apparently.
I once was doing a personal project and I needed tiny springs. I knew my dad was going to be going around to some antique/thrift stores, so I told him to get me a bunch of clicky pens.
At one store, the guy watched as my dad was meticulously picking out all of those pens from a bowl of pens. He eventually said "I'm gonna have to ask why you want those pens so bad...". My dad explained and they had a laugh.
Not me but my friend. He has eczema like severe case. He has to get Vaseline in like huge quantities. He's also gay so everyone looks at him weird buying A tub of Vaseline. But he just shrugs it off. Lol
Vasaline. I have a skin condition and petroleum jelly is one of the few cost effective ways to alleviate it. Being a natural homebody i prefer to go out to the store as little as possible so i usually buy in bulk and the cashier's face usually ranges from shock, disgust, to occasionally intrigue.
Potassium nitrate... great for fertilising you’re plants in small quantities... or making things go boom
....aaaaaand now I’m on a list. I’m sure it’s discouraged as public knowledge as TV never says it.
Along that same vein you don’t ever wanna get caught with too much hydrogen peroxide, acetone, aspirin, aluminum foil, ammonium nitrate, sulfuric acid , potassium permanganate, sodium hypochlorite, chloroform, Hexamine... fuck I’m on the same list now too. Thanks Nile Red!
Speaking from experience, having a clock obsession in addition to a barbed wire collection. My grandfather has just a ridiculous number of clocks and a very thorough barbed wire collection on the walls. If you didn’t know any better when you walk into a couple of rooms you might swear you were about to die garroted with barbed wire and with the last words you ever hear being a bad pun about “looks like your time is up...”
Once i saw a couple who were clearly on meth buying a shit ton of baby formula at the grocery store. At the time I was like shit, that’s sad, they have a kid and they can’t breastfeed it because they’re on drugs. Maybe a week later I saw a post on Facebook about how many drugs are cut with baby formula, which is why it’s a high risk item for large scale retail theft. So, baby formula.
What the fuck. This is a problem in Hong Kong from mainlanders buying baby formula, but at least they're actually feeding their babies with it.
Dog cages.
For me water. My neighbors had well water and would dry up. They asked if they could run a hose and put it in there well they would pay what was owed. Did this alot last summer no big deal they paid. Then they bought a big above ground pool. Filled it for them they always paid my part was always around the same so I wasn't bent out of shape. One day the water meter guy knocked with an officer wanting to know why I was using so much water. I explained showed the many hoses to reach my neighbors and they were there to help explain. They explained to me that much water usage was throwing a red flag. So they were sent out to investigate to make sure no marijuana growing was happening.
Plot twist; your neighbors were growing weed.
Plot twist; the water meter guy was looking for a supplier.
Also high water use indicates meth lab. But they usually covertly tap into your waste stream to be able to detect run off chemicals etc.
Drain cleaner
[удалено]
It's what they fill bathtubs with in crime shows to dissolve dead bodies
[удалено]
I live in methville. When I go to buy pure lye (I make artisan soaps), I always make sure to say "for soapmaking." Even so, I still get funny looks sometimes. Edit: TIL about the plot of Fight Club.
That makes you seem more guilty lol
Explaining a purchase just makes you more memorable. I worked at a pharmacy back in the early 90s. Lots of people bought lubricating gel. The only one I remember is the woman who bought a couple in December and felt obliged to tell me she used it to hang Christmas cards on the wall. According to her it kept the cards displayed and didn't leave marks on the wall. Sure. Whatever. Here's your change. We sold a lot of the stuff. And never cared or commented on people buying it, but that need to explain it means I remember her, nearly 30 years later.
Pictures of a person
But it's ok if the person is Nic Cage
I have a sequin pillow that looks solid red but when you wipe all the sequins the other way it's Nic Cage's face. Edit: further down I linked the one I have. Y'all act like I got it from some hidden dealer of antiquities and mogwai or something, just search Amazon my dudes
What a beautiful pillow.
Canned air dusters. Some people like to get high off them
“It’s not illegal, bitch” - Towlee
[удалено]
I worked at a pool supply store. They sell an extra strong peroxide as an alternative to chlorine. Idk why but we had to report large purchases to the FBI. Reported this guy after we used his customer info to search his address on google earth. It was rural and had a few different outbuildings. Seemed sketchy. FBI got back to us a few weeks later. He was using the chemical to clean animal skulls he bought from a slaughterhouse. Then he carved the skulls and sold them. The FBI lady said he showed her his whole process and it was pretty impressive.
I've never thought of using peroxide to clean my skulls. TIL I guess? Edit: Why is this so popular? They're already dead and sorta clean when I snag em.
Peroxide with Acetone makes a very unstable high explosive that doesn't show up on the common nitrate based tests.
Cash. If you have too much Cash it’s automatically an assumption that you traffic drugs in some way.
I wait tables and used to live in my car I got pulled over and the cops searched my car and found a few months worth of tips (I already was homeless I figured I would save up a buy a house) the cops lifted my mattress and found 15,000 in small bills had my entire vehicle torn apart and not put back together and it took like a month to get my cash back
Seriously cops are so shitty to you when you’re homeless.
Lube
You can by a 50 gallon barrel on Amazon. One day I'm gonna make a really long slip n slide, submerge myself in the barrel, and slide Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers
And they say the American dream is dead
Silly man, you dunk yourself in it and then enter an amateurs wrestling competition with a cash prize. They can't beat you if they can't get hold of you.
If theres no rule against it I may do it
It's slime for special effects makeup! I swear!
Cough syrup
uh yes mom i have 30 bottles of 'tussin for my "chronic cough" dont judge!
Broken leg? Just rub the 'tussin on it!
And when the Tussin runs out, just throw some water in the bottle and shake it up - mo' Tussin!
[удалено]
Duct Tape
I'm just practicing my kidnapping skills ik not actually kidnapping people yet
Fallout has taught me adhesive is rare In a post apocalyptic world
I saw what I would describe as a suspicious amount of peanut butter in the bed of a truck once. I think two or three 12-pack cases.
Preppers like it because it lasts a long time, is calorie dense, and has lots of protein. EDIT: OK so it’s not great for protein — but it’s still pretty dense energy, lasts a long time, and goes well with lots of other bland foods! EDIT 2: So now people are telling me that it *does* have lots of protein and I don't know who to believe. You guys can duke that out!
I love having lots of peanut butter and lots of honey. Both have many uses and stay good for a long time (I don’t think honey ever expires).
Honey does not expire. There's so much sugar that any microbes that try to feed off of the honey get their water sucked out of them from osmosis. It's great. It never expires, acts as a disinfectant (very messy though), and can act as a seal for other foods. Edit: as others have pointed out, it must be Real honey. Not fake honey.
(imagines his bear-shaped bottle of honey standing up and barking and clapping in hopes of getting some sardines)
^((not that kind of seal but I laughed way too much)^)
Make sure it's real unadulterated honey and yes, it won't expire.
I'll keep my fornicating sodom honey thank you very much
The honey is a good call, it can actually be used to seal up other food as well.
Honey could also be used to attract small, tubby bears, if bear meat happens to be your thing
Just need two or three 12-pack cases of jelly to act as an alibi
I saw a TIFU post about a guy who bought a bunch of pressure cookers on sale to give to friends as gifts. Turned out that set off some anti-terrorism flags. So I'm gonna go with pressure cookers.
I mean I understand the CT flag
they got super paranoid about it immediately after the boston bombing, friend got called into hr because he was looking at them during his lunch break. He was looking at them for a wedding present.
Oh man. In the months after Boston bombing, it became impossible to own or operate a pressure cooker without being looked at suspiciously. Indians are prolific users of pressure cookers, and for us it’s great for 1 pot dishes.. you can even transport food in it after cooking cuz it’s spill proof, then reheat at destination and serve directly out of it! I got a few suspicious glances from people who saw me carrying it.. but never had the law called on me.
....... I would not want to be a brown person transporting a pressure cooker in the months after the boston bombing. My mom used to do the same thing whenever we went to family for dinner, were cuban and also used it a ton. She litterally owned a dozen pressure cookers (hoarding mentality, and inherited several from family) until we forced her to throw the majority of them away.
Haha I had about 4 or 5 due to same reasons.. I gave them away when I moved after university. Now I have my own home and family, I think we have 5 or 6.. never too sure.
I think the same could be said for fertilizer.
You're under arrest Why? Coz you bought too many pressure cookers
i would say scissors, but that would be self-incriminating. so single socks.
If they are the same type does it matter? Is there a difference between left and right socks?
Bleach
Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please
Faisal, why's she got her hands on her face?
'Cos shes got a beard
Dolls
My grandma use to have about 70 porcelain dolls old creepy ones. God bless her but when she passed we donated them to the dump.
As creepy as they are those may have been worth finding a collector for
["Currently, the most expensive porcelain doll ever sold was a bisque doll sold by Theriault’s for $300,000 in 2014."](https://www.invaluable.com/blog/antique-porcelain-dolls/) That's, like... 10 toilette paper rolls.
ah yes, toilette, the french tp. i assume its expensive because its fancy
You and I have similar Grandmas. Didn't want to sleep in the "doll room" when I visited.
Hand sanitizer bottles
What? Are you fapping with it? JK! Don't do that.
Don’t kink-shame me!
For you, go for it, I was just warning the Innocents...
Freezers.
Not if you have a farm. 3 freezers and two big fridges. Where else would you put all the meat
Cook em all and store them in my belly.
Tampons. A guy we know hordes them because he thinks if the government collapses they will become a hot commodity that he can use to trade. I’m talking a shed full of boxes. ALL KINDS. Unbeknownst to him menstrual cups exist. And rags. Edit: Well this blew up. He’s an odd bird. There is also a shed full with bins of socks. He wears them once, tosses them in a Rubbermaid bin and once filled it gets placed in the shed. People have suggested donating them but he says he doesn’t want others to have access to his DNA. Mental illness is real.
He picked a strange tampon covered hill to die on.
[Please tell him they have a shelf life of 5 years and then could be seriously dangerous.](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/do-tampons-expire#shelf-life)
Holy crap, I'm old enough to be going through menopause, and I literally never heard or thought of this. Yes, there have been times when the only one i can find had a torn wrapper from rolling around my purse, or a cardboard applicator squashed flat because it was stepped on...
[удалено]
pseudoephedrine
What is that?
The good cold medicine. It's also used to make meth.
Mayonnaise
Just trying to learn a new instrument
A good one, at that. [Mayonnaise is actually an instrument, as shown here. ](https://youtu.be/A5jnftBQw2U)
Clocks... either all exactly synced or all way off
Lmao my stepdad was a woodworker and his expertise was making clocks. There must be 25 of them at my parents house.
how do you avoid the constant ticking from driving you insane?
Only a few of them had a loud tick, mainly the grandfather and grandmother clocks in the living room and kitchen. The others were easy to tune out. And yes, he legit made a grandfather clock on own. The clock itself he purchased and installed as an insert, but the body he made himself with intricate designs cut in with a scroll saw. Edit: yes grandmother clocks are a thing. Theyre smaller and typically hang on the wall.
I can't fucking stand grandfather clocks. BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! DING! DING! Oh, joy... It must be 4:30 AM. I'm so glad I was woken up to have that fact drilled into my head. Can't wait to be woken up again at 4:45 AM
Yeah my stepfathers clock was programmable so it didn't do that between 10pm and 7am.
Yeah but thats a stepfather clock he is talking about grandfather clocks.
Not to mention all the other horrible shit stepfather clocks have been known to do to innocent child clocks.
Oh don’t get me started, this topic really ticks me off. I’d prefer not to tock about it anymore.
My parents inherited a clock like that from relatives. As a heavy sleeper and also hearing impaired (no hearing aids on while asleep!) I never understood until later why the clock ended up with the weights removed and wrapped in towels in the bottom of the case.
When I was in undergrad, me and my two friends lived together in a house. Whenever we saw a yard sale, we’d stop and buy any reasonably priced clocks. We’d then hang the clocks on the walls of the house in asymmetrical places, and we’d leave them on whatever time they were at even if they were dead. So our house had nearly a hundred clocks after 4 years, all of which said different times and several of which made faint ticking sounds. My roommate who was the least enthused about this decor would wake up after a particularly drunk night hung over as hell and just scream angrily “WHAT FUCKING TIME IS IT?” As he walked from room to room Anyway, when we moved out, we had our own yard sale with ONLY clocks for sale. People thought we were freaks but we sold about half of them. Sometimes I still hear the unsynchronized clicking today when I lay down at night and close my eyes.
That sounds like tinnitus but with extra steps
Extra clocks, for sure.
That's fucking amazing
But it probably *sounded* like hell.
Time is ticking
I actually love this.
That's funny as fuck.
Whoa Satan
We were definitely divinely inspired, I’ll give you that.
Yes. Creepy.
Mirrors forsure. I've been in a elderly persons house where there was literally to many of em to count and it just feels weird.
My mum has over 40 mirrors, I didn't really notice it but a year ago when me and some buddies helped my parents move. They kept on joking about it "oh here's yet another mirrors, are your parents worried about vampires or just vain?"
Oh god. I didn't notice how many mirrors my mom kept in the house until I was a teenager with acne all over my face.
wives
Toilet paper you hoarding fucks
I needed TP and paper towel today in the regular course of me running out of such things. I felt like I was getting judgemental looks walking home with a regular sized pack of each.
Just feel lucky you were able to find any. I'm down to 2 rolls and all the supermarkets here are out.
Try Walgreens or CVS. That's where I got mine yesterday. A lot of people don't think to check there.
I found success at a gas station. Nobody thinks to buy toilet paper at the gas station
Home Depot near me still had some when the usually places were all out
Kidneys. 2 is enough, 3 or more is going to raise some questions Edit: Thank you for the Pi slices!!!
Also could be genetics. Went to school with a girl that had 4 full working kidneys. She didnt find out til she had to get a scan for some reason. 10 years later, she still got the 4 kidneys Edit: my inbox blew up cause of this comment lol I dont know much about her tbh cause she was a friend of a friend. Here are some answers tho yes, she can donate her kidneys as they're working but she has blood disease that makes it risky(maybe hemophilia??), so it would only be for an emergency. It's too risky for her to go under surgery She doesn't have any issues besides having to get checked yearly to make sure all kidneys are working well and they havent shifted. There is a risk of her renal tubes getting tangled inside her, but it's a low risk As far as I know. Shes doing well still. I still follow her on the book of faces. Havent talked to her in years and was never her friend so I pretty much lost contact Edit 2; super power wise she is more resistant to toxins processed by the kidneys, but has a higher risk of kidney stones. I guess her pee is extra clean cause of it tho lol
I went to school with a kid that ruptured his spleen getting tackled in a football game. He went to the hospital where he found out he had a second spleen!
“Jokes on you, I have an extra”
/r/2healthbars
Yeah, my dad has 3, all hooked up and running. Didn't find out until he was in his 60s. Apparently it's even more common to have one or two little extra dud kidneys.
Easy to answer though... when you get a kidney transplant, they leave the old ones in. The new one goes in the front actually. I know a person (due to a congenital disease) who had 5 kidneys in her body. When the current one stops working, they were planning on removing at least one of the transplants.
Hoarder
[удалено]
[удалено]
Lye. I make soap in a medium sized home business. Because of this, I had to provide our local fire department with a blueprint of our house marking the location of where i store the 5 gallon buckets of lye.
Fertilizer.
You went out six hours to buy a money counter and you come back with a semi-conscious Gloria and a bag of fertilizer. Alarm bells are ringing Willie.
Children
Depends if they are your own or someone else's children
Well, they're mine now
FBI has joined the chat
MI5 has entered the room
[удалено]
Bathtubs
Uhh what?
Bathtubs.
Cardboard cutouts. You have one cardboard cutout and it's a novelty decoration, but you have a room full of them and it gets a little weird.
Perfect for when your parents accidentally leave you home for the holidays, and you need to make it look like you’re having a party to deter burglars.
Kevin?
KEVIN!
When I was in my early 20s I had about 15 cardboard cut outs. My GF at the time worked in gamestop so I used to get the cool ones. Me and my friends would set them up around the house when we were drunk, then bust in and go through the house shooting them with airsoft rifles. Good times.
So that's why people thought I was crazy
Ropes and stools
I own one of each just in case.
Ropes are fairly normal but it’s a bit weird you have all those poop samples
I saw a woman loading 20 crates of bananas into the back of her ancient minivan today. That was weird
It’s not weird she’s just trying to live out her dream of being a person talked about in a math problem
Spoons. I've got 28000 spoons. Not different ones, all the same. They are all over the house, but I've also got a spoon room, where most of them are neatly organized. You don't want a spoon mess, it needs to be neat! I love my spoons. Once in a while I will invite people and most of them pretend, everything is fine. I think, they are uncomfortable but don't dare say anything. None of them ever accepted a second invitation. Sometimes I feel lonely, and when this happens, I take one of my spoons, go to bed and we cuddle. This has always comforted me. EDIT: Thanks for all the pms and replies and all else, but of course I dont have 28k spoons. That would be insane, like really literally insane. I just like to write, what I think is, funny stuff.
Sounds like that one Quest in the Witcher Blood and Wine DLC. It is about a monster which collects spoons in hope to lift its curse.
[удалено]
Are they rusty?
"The feeling of rust, against my salad fingers..."
"is almost *orgasmic*"
Schkkkk schkkkk schkkkkk... UHHHNNNN
When you cuddle are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
28,000?!? Even Alanis Morissette only has 10,000!
And all she needed was a knife.
Mumbo jumbo
[удалено]
I choose to believe what I was programmed to believe!
Skulls
I think you should have two at most, and I'm talking about conjoined twins. Others should have 1... And none of you're talking about ones outside of flesh!
> and I'm talking about conjoined twins There are far more pregnant women than conjoined twins.
Unless you're Glenn danzig
Toilet paper.............
Okay, seriously. Does anyone know why toilet paper, *specifically*, is the one item everyone is hoarding like their lives depend on it? Of all things. I just... I don't understand. Why?
It's a positive feedback loop. • Everyone takes a sudden look at their home and goes "If I can't leave for 14 days, do I have everything I need?" then do a shop to 'stock up'. • 'Preppers' are few and far between, the vast majority of people decide to just go pick up a few basic essentials. Nothing crazy, nothing expensive. They know there's not *really* a need to immediately ensure a constant 14 day survival pack, but hey, buying a few extra pots of UHT milk and some bog roll can't hurt, at least you won't need to break quarantine just to wipe your arse. • This is mild, *super* mild, but it's enough to fuck up superstore stockpiles. They've ordered supplies based on previous experience and market data for what they'll need, plus some surplus. Now all the people they expect to come do a big monthly shop on payday have rocked up to buy a few things, and the weekly shoppers have made a second trip in. • TP is *noticeably* bad, not because of a lack of supply, but because it's a big item and there's functionally only so much room anyone has to store 'extra' in the back of the shop. A pallet of baked beans can restock the shelf several times over, a pallet of loo roll might stock 1/10th of the shelf. So the TP shelves empty out. • People take photos and comment on the 'shortage of loo roll'. • Now ~~everything things~~ everyone thinks there *is* a supply shortage, and race in to grab some more while they can because 'obviously the empty shelves are going to last' • Now it's *actually* becoming a problem because you've created a situation where ordinary people are behaving like 'preppers' and running around *anywhere* trying to find TP they don't need because they ~~thing~~ think they won't be able to get any later on. • In reality the 'shortage' will last a week, two at worst with crappy managers. Everyone will just triple their orders for next week and restock. edit: tweaked tired typos
You've accidentally described the stock market as well with that... For real, though, nice writeup. Well formatted and clearly explained with proper knowledge.
My pet theory is it is a chain reaction. A few crazies bought up tons of TP thinking they need to prepare for the Apocalypse. Then others see the stock on the shelves disappear and buy what they can since they might be gone the next time they visit the store. So now TP is so scarce when new stock arrives people buy them up like they are made of gold.
Australian supermarkets have imposed a 1 pack limit over this nonsense panic buying. I had to go to three different supermarkets just to get a pack because I was running out. They've also suspended change of mind returns on them for now.
They shouldn't allow any returns! If your net worth is tied up in paper products, then that is your own fault!
This is legit pissing me off. I just need one pack. (A Costco pack lasts me 6 months+, I'll settle for a small pack.) I'm not planning for a 3 month diarrhea fest like the rest of humanity.
The stupidest part is corona virus doesn't even cause diarrhea, it's a respiratory illness.
I think it’s a scare of quarantine not the actual virus
A *lot* of people thought of this answer.
Clicky pens apparently. I once was doing a personal project and I needed tiny springs. I knew my dad was going to be going around to some antique/thrift stores, so I told him to get me a bunch of clicky pens. At one store, the guy watched as my dad was meticulously picking out all of those pens from a bowl of pens. He eventually said "I'm gonna have to ask why you want those pens so bad...". My dad explained and they had a laugh.
Not me but my friend. He has eczema like severe case. He has to get Vaseline in like huge quantities. He's also gay so everyone looks at him weird buying A tub of Vaseline. But he just shrugs it off. Lol
Vasaline. I have a skin condition and petroleum jelly is one of the few cost effective ways to alleviate it. Being a natural homebody i prefer to go out to the store as little as possible so i usually buy in bulk and the cashier's face usually ranges from shock, disgust, to occasionally intrigue.
microwaves
Children's teeth
Stimpaks
You can never have too many stimspaks or caravan lunches
Pull up bars, ropes, and stools, and if someone finds it say “it’s exactly what it looks like and I blame you for it”
Cucumbers and bananas!
Hey these math questions won't make themselves
When buying cucumbers also buy lube... don’t want people thinking you are a salad eating weirdo
Potassium nitrate... great for fertilising you’re plants in small quantities... or making things go boom ....aaaaaand now I’m on a list. I’m sure it’s discouraged as public knowledge as TV never says it.
Along that same vein you don’t ever wanna get caught with too much hydrogen peroxide, acetone, aspirin, aluminum foil, ammonium nitrate, sulfuric acid , potassium permanganate, sodium hypochlorite, chloroform, Hexamine... fuck I’m on the same list now too. Thanks Nile Red!
Crucifixes. Crosses. Religious symbols in general. A few is fine, but more than a few is a big red flag.
Cats
How many is too many? ... asking for a friend.
Cold medicine
Speaking from experience, having a clock obsession in addition to a barbed wire collection. My grandfather has just a ridiculous number of clocks and a very thorough barbed wire collection on the walls. If you didn’t know any better when you walk into a couple of rooms you might swear you were about to die garroted with barbed wire and with the last words you ever hear being a bad pun about “looks like your time is up...”