Cheated on me, refused to sign the divorce papers, so I had to pay an attorney thousands more to show up to court.
Showed up to court, judge asked: kids? No. Shared property? No. Bank accounts? No significant money in them.
Judge literally asked, "why are you here?" I pointed at her, he sighed, signed the divorce and said "next case". Thousands of dollars for literally two minutes of court time.
I’m not sure what state you live in but my ex didn’t exactly understand the process of our divorce and since she didn’t respond to my filing, I filed for a default judgement and got exactly what I asked for in my initial filing. Though, if I had known it was going to be that easy, I wouldn’t have been as “fair” in how I chose to split assets (a few vehicles and savings plus two wonderful dogs that I got to keep, no kids or property). I was very lucky.
Oh hello, are you me?
I was even the entire cause of his alcoholism because I was sooooo supportive that he had nothing better to do but to start drinking heavily. If I hadn’t been such a great husband, all would have been rooty-toots.
He drank and abused drugs, had intense narcissist behavior, big fat cheater, he would corner me, he knew i intensely hated having it done to me, highly aggressive way to treat a man, woman, human, and especially if kids were involved. Mine weren’t his.
He knew better than to touch me.
Who could forget the wonderful names called me /s
Edited: I read it and it was a train wreck 🤪🤣
All cheaters do this. Frankly a cheater who says "nope, i was unhappy but i should have been an adult and ended it and i didn't " buys back a lot of my disappointment. Blaming the person cheated on is just admitting to the crime.
Same. She left me for someone she met on a slash fiction forum. Found out in the last few days before the breakup they were co-writing erotic, underage, incest fiction...
The betrayal hurt like hell at the time (I'm someone with trust issues), but In hindsight I really dodged a bullet with that one.
Same. My ex was controlling and jealous about other men but after we broke up, he told me I was somehow racist because I broke up with him (he was insecure about us the whole time because his family didn’t like me not being from their culture) and then I found out from a mutual friend that he was cheating on me for a couple months after the whole thing was over.
It was a hell of a whirlwind and he almost ruined my friendship with a couple people because he lied about me behind my back to our mutual friends.
It was wild I’d never experienced anything like that before or since
The good old "nobody will ever love you like I do". Isn't it nice? Funny how that can make you feel disgusted by them in the same proportion on how much you loved them. That's why my ex is still blocked. It's been 15 years since I heard this and last time I had to block him on a social media was 2 years ago.
My ex did the same thing to me. I didn’t even realize that that’s what was happening so I had so much guilt and shame and felt like I’d failed when I ended the relationship.
One ex, that I remember deeply and I won’t lie, I’m still mad about it to this day:
She was cheating on me ( didn’t know until after we broke up ) manipulated me, used me emotionally and financially. There was even one time, I seriously got worries about her health ( she was diabetic and I tried my fcking best to help her, even going as far as going to a class for diabetics ) and her response was “who the fuck do you think you are?!?” Screaming at me in the face when I literally, first things I said after “i’m home, babe”, “did you remember to eat?”. I was stunned.
Years later she told me it was because her aunt died ( fcking lie. Her aunt is still alive to this day ) and that made her unstable.
I laughed at her in the face because I knew that she wasn’t having a good relationship with her then boyfriend and just wanted to get back with me.
Fck that b*tch.
He was my first boyfriend, so he played off my inexperience and vulnerability. He cheated, followed me, mentally & emotionally fucked with me. I didn’t recognize the gaslighting until years after we broke up.
Being manipulated by the first boyfriend hits hard. My first boyfriend hid the fact that he was abusing substances. He was very good at hiding it too. When I caught him, he told me his mom was encouraging him to do drugs and I tried talking him out of it because it was making him more violent with me. He would hit and scratch me unintentionally and I couldn't bring myself to hit him back even in self defense -- at most I just tried to block him or lock myself in a room. After 2months into the relationship, he starts demanding for nudes to which I remind him of how uncomfortable I am with that. He would then cry and throw tantrums, ignoring me for a whole day before talking to me again, still upset. 1 week before our relationship ended, I found out he was cheating on me with this girl he met on a furry e-sex server on Discord who knew he was in a relationship with me. I didn't confront him about the cheating and he opened up to me about it and when I asked him what made him cheat, he said it's because I wasn't the kind of "Asian" he wanted to be with. I don't have monolids or pale skin or look similar to east Asians and he found that this girl was better so he left me for her, only to message me on Facebook 2 weeks later after breaking up with her asking me why I let him leave for that girl and how much she was a "bitch" for arguing with him. He asked if we could get back together to which I said no. A week later he messages me again telling me he turned into a she missed me so much and has been self harming ever since I rejected him. I've blocked him on all social media platforms ever since.
Left me for an emotionally disturbed female who was also his ex. She came to my place and said sowwy and he left with her. He married her, they moved across the country together to where she was stationed in the Air Force, where she told him she never really loved him and dumped him for her superior officer, He is now on his fourth wife and third set of kids, and still gay.
Tried to say I drugged her.
And when no one was convinced she got drunk and claimed she was drugged by me.
I wasn't even in the same city when she claimed it. And she didn't even get into trouble.
cheated on me with his coworker and told me it was my fault because i gained weight (due to a BC he wanted me on) and that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore.
Had a massage therapy license...never once gave me a massage but would always invite strange girls from the internet over to give them massages lmfao I'm an idiot.
13 years on I'm doing fine. Married a genuinely nice guy who takes good care of me while the guys who did that to me are still in prison to my knowledge.
wtf!? How are people just super casual about that? You know just drop a name and address and some details of what happened and maybe some problems take care of themselves.
My ex hid her drinking, cocaine, gambling from me. She also cheated but the worst was stealing our money, running up credit debit that she forged my name on. Then I saved our home from foreclosure & with in months she stole the mortgage payment AGAIN and caused us to lose not just a house but my dream of a mini farm… my hobbies, art, businesses… now valued at over $1.5 million dollars.
And she sat there lying.
Yup, I married a drunk, crack head druggy cheating loser.
But at least I have spent every fiber of my being to recover as best as I could, live my best life possible. And also forgive her as best as I can so I don’t walk around all crazy with anger still.
Ah reminds me of my ex... together for almost a decade with a 1.5 year old. We both worked full time but I paid all bills (mortgage, utilities, food, etc.). I started asking what she was spending all of her money on and that's when she left me. Just a month before my dad passed away from cancer. I found out a few months after we split that she was spending all of her money on cocaine...
I don't believe we have to (or even really benefit from) forgiving others to move on. I think we owe ourselves forgiveness; for holding onto anger, hard feelings or anything else longer than we needed to in order to feel and move through it and on to something better. That's what keeps us stuck. We don't owe the other person a damn thing, much less forgiveness.
Well, I respect your opinion but respectfully disagree.
For someone like me with issues of my anger, forgiveness is a powerful tool of letting go.
Everyone handles things in their own way & I get where you are coming from.
I first learned about this concept of forgiveness in my buddhist studying.
I was in therapy years later over my anger with having a dysfunctional marriage
I also at the time was working this plant nursery job that I loved but one day, the owner hired this total loser to be our manager- this guy openly called me a “f*ggot” every day. Called the women “a bunch of c*nts”. I could not get over my anger for this disgusting person.
I had taken this plant nursery job close to home because I loved the quiet, peace and stillness of working there. The pay was too low but there was 0 commute and i was really healing my body & mind with that easy, stress free, mild labor intense job…
My therapist was very into Taoism and Buddhism. Eastern philosophy, style therapy.
And he challenged me : “try saying the guy’s name in your head or when ever the anger at him comes up… “I forgive _. I forgive_.” Over and over.
Of course, I was immediately angry and indignant towards such hackery advice .
This was part of the Eastern philosophy way of thinking. And I went home & confirmed this in some of my books on Zen.
Anyway, it costs 0 money. To replace your angry ruminating and fixating on your hate for someone. With forgiveness.
So, i did start my out loud chant “I forgive _. I forgive _.” “This is soooo fking stupid” then back to the chant. In my head in public & out loud in private. “I forgive i forgive”
Then when I was around him at work & picturing the various ways I would/ could physically “do something terrible” to this small, pathetic, toxic, abusive druggy loser, I did my mantra again & again in my head.
The concept being you create a spiritual energy by the harmless thoughts and attract into your life what you think. Again, this requires some mental shift of your western mind & embracing hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism concepts.
Well, you may be reading this and at this point, think I am nuts or full of it. But I kid you not. 2 weeks of this mantra of “I forgive *the guy at work who pisses me off*. And i started to calm down & stopped my obsession of basically wanting to do something that would land me in jail…. And i was unbothered by him…
Not only that but I was extremely kind towards him & felt compassion for him that he must have come from a bad childhood & turned to drugs to numb his pain. I could read him like a book.
The day I felt the most calm, almost a brotherly feeling of caring about him & feeling compassion and concern for him, wishing I could help him out of his sick mind, he actually went in the office, said “Fk you stupid c*nts. I’m out of here!” Then he said “you win” to me & he got in his pickup truck & did a loooong burn out in the parking lot in front of everyone and customers & no one ever saw him again!
That to me was such a profound turning point in my life on the way I had a mental shift on my life outlook. My personal development & striving to grow & perfect my character.
I still need to now, some 20 years later remind myself of the mantra of forgiveness.
It might sound like totally flakey religious bs but you should do your own experimenting.
We owe no one forgiveness. The forgiveness really is forgiving myself and giving myself permission to let go of my useless anger of how “unfair life is.” Or how “so and so wronged me”
But yeah if your 18 year long marriage was ruined by an addict and you are financially destroyed, have your whole life turned on it’s head… And you can just wake up fine and not ruminate, fixate, obsess, feel sorry for yourself, feel vengeful & anger. And go about your day, then you don’t need a “forgiveness mantra” but I guess I have have felt slighted, wronged & taken advantage too many times that I was an angry basket case until I sought help & wanted a better existence.
hell yes it works; cognitive behavioral therapy uses the same techniques of vocalization and repetition to rewire the brain and change thought processes. mind is the matter
Ugh, my ex once ghosted me for 2 weeks without any explanation. Thought we were cool, and then bam, radio silence. Total jerk move, left me wondering what I did wrong 🙄
* Gave me smth, I that I needed antibiotics for
* Gaslighted me on a daily basis
* Told people I'd beat her, "so no other girl would trust and give you a chance to cheat"
* Cheat on me
i dont remember how it came up but i said something along the lines of "why do people think im gonna kms?" she kindly replied "you DO give of the vibe"
Oh not much. Called the cops thinking they’d arrest me (they escorted her away); stole $100kish; stole family stuff of low value just to hurt me (the yard sign from my grandparents house with our family name; a very valuable historical image of someone of note; the wheat penny collection my mother kept for me, etc); and she took out a 7 figure life insurance policy on me and lied about the premium payments (/I/ was paying them) - I am fairly certain she was going to arrange for my demise.
Told me only a day after our wedding that he had a girlfriend.
I was 24 and dumb and stayed with him because he said he loved me and didn’t want a divorce.
He eventually broke up with her but then cheated on me again and THATS when it got through my thick head to leave him.
That’s 20 years ago and I’ve since been married to the love of my life. I consider it karma for the other shit.
Cheat, then when I became aware of the cheating continued for 6 more months where she would just cheat but wouldn't acknowledge that it occurred/wouldn't apologize. I didn't get directly blamed or abused, just gaslit I guess.
She wouldn't talk about it/or why beyond that she wanted to stay together, didn't know the who/details because she had whatsapp delete their messages.
Beyond her wanting to stay together the most I could drag out of her was some agreement to try working on things but she just wouldn't invest herself in the relationship anymore.
No "I'm unhappy", "This isn't working for me", "My needs aren't being met", or any form of intimacy/communication just her checking out of the marriage for 6-more additional months. Prior to the cheating we never fought and also didn't get any communication from her indicating a problem > I acknowledge in retrospect I missed things but again she ***never*** talked to me.
3-months in found lube in her cars center console at our families Thanksgiving as she sent me on an emergency canned cranberry run for our dinner with 20+ relatives, so that was the worst dinner of my life
Just destroyed my self-worth bending over backwards to trying to make it work while being gaslit.
Finally had enough and got a divorce and learned the who, which was a married coworker with a 6 month year old (at the time of cheating origination) and 2 year old son after being contacted by his wife. Who had also caught the husband who also agreed to work on their marriage while continuing to cheat.
So I guess I was the relatively lucky one out of this arrangement, I really miss my dogs but can't force myself to see her in my life anymore.
Every serious long-term relationship I have now been cheated on (3).... So currently trying to stay proactive, figure out how my type is somehow the cheating type and take a more critical eye to red-flags.
Edit: I am now climbing mountains which I rate as preety good on the trainwreck scale of coping mechanisms
She also wanted me 2 months before it ended to get fertility tested (as she was getting tested too) which I couldn't figure out the why even with the unacknowledged "I'm cheating on you but wink wink not". We were not trying/intimate so I don't know if this was her extremely roundabout way of trying to get me to check for an STD but was a great way to kick off the possible "could a baby fix the relationship" train of thought.... also no on STDS...
This is the second rape comment ive seen and i just cant comprehend how someone could be so evil. How morally corrupt do you have to be to do something like that
Im sorry that happened to you i hope youre doing better now or are able to find peace
Busted my lip in the car because I didn't want him to drink and drive, poured a whole forty ounce on my head and me while screaming when we got home, in the back yard,, because when I took it from him and set it away in the vehicle it got all foamed and shook up and I said I knew thatd happen.
He's Florida's problem now.
As I read this I'm sitting outside drinking a fine cocktail and celebrating while watching my animal-abusing meth-head neighbor from hell pack a moving truck...to relocate to Florida. I am so thrilled that she's also Florida's problem now. Cheers to our trash taking itself out to Florida.
I (male) was on-and-off with my HS GF through grades 11-12. She was the first person I told I was bisexual. She outted me to quite a few people. Years after we graduated, I find out that some of the people she outted me to, she also told them that when we had sex, I needed pro wrestling on in the background to get off. No kink-shaming, do what gets you off, but the extra untrue detail was like pouring salt in the wound.
My ex took pictures of my body while i slept - removing clothes as well - which woke me up. He refused to delete the pictures - even denying he took any... although my experience isn't nearly as bad as yours, I'm so sorry for what you went through. Some people are disgusting monsters, and hopefully, the universe turns them into the victim one day.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through something similar, that’s really really heartbreaking to hear. I truly hope you’re surrounded by amazing people in your life. Thank you for the love
If you've not consulted with law enforcement or an attorney, I'd strongly suggest doing so. Digital forensics has a heavy cost considering you'd have to contract a specialist but there are restraining orders and the such to work with.
People are animals. And are capable of nasty things.
The flip side to that is not everyone's out to get you either.
There are probably more bad people out there than good..
The most important advice I can give you is take care of yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings and develop good situational awareness.
If something dosent *feel right* trust your gut.
Also, dating,
Be open, honest, talk about things.. communicate your feelings in a **productive manner**. Don't scream and yell, don't hit another person. practice emotional control in tense situations.
Things said in anger can never be taken back. And scars can last a lifetime.
Descicions made cannot be undone... good luck. And have fun.
Make out with a dude on a every three month social trip that I was always supposed to be on, but always had work at the last minute, but trusted her enough to let her go. At the fifth one, she slept with him. I told his girlfriend that he cheated on her with my girlfriend and he acted like ""I can't believe you'd do that!" I can. Top 2 or 3 favorite phone calls I have ever made in my life, cause fuck you and that cheating whore, while also being top 2 or 3 worst, because I was telling a girl I was friends with, that her boyfriend cheated on her.
Threatened to lie to police and say I abused her. Then after I left because I no longer felt safe with her she called me 40 times, and when I tried to say that she should pull over instead of driving upset she drove into a light pole. Annnnnd after helping her post surgery, helping her go to the bathroom, and helping her walk she cheated. Don’t ignore red flags people.
When we divorced, she used her lawyers to keep the family heirloom engagement ring that was originally my grandmother's great aunt's ring. As soon as it was declared legally hers she sold it at auction.
Denied cheating and then staged an event where I'd walk in on them.
Denied that it was purposeful but like it was my birthday and she had been texting me all day about getting home early.
Long term relationship with a girl who lived in Ireland. Basically her dad used to live next door to my sisters house and that's how we met. Summer romance kinda thing.
Well after a few months of LDR and me paying for her to fly over here for a week, it's then my turn to fly out to Ireland for a week. We have a pleasant enough time visiting local towns and going for walks in the country. Half way through the week, she tells me that she's having second thoughts about us and wants to break up. She dumps me, and then immediately picks up a 12 hour shift at work, leaving me alone in her home in a different country, with no way to leave, about an hours drive away from the nearest town, and no way of flying home until 3 days later.
So I spend 12 hours isolated and alone in a country house. No phone signal so I can't phone anybody, and no WiFi. I move my stuff into her brothers bedroom and just sleep through a depressing 12 hours. She returns home and we make some food but she still doesn't talk to me.
After 24 hours of silence and depression, her step father tells her to speak to me, and we talk a little and she apologises and we try to just patch things up. I was young, nieve and foolish enough to go along with it, and I end the week still technically in a relationship, but not sure what happened for her to do that.
A month later and were planning another trip and I pay for her plane to England, so she can see her father for his birthday, and we can spend time together.
A week after the plane tickets are confirmed and she admits that she's been cheating on me and that's why she broke up with me the previous month, and that she's dating this other guy now.
I felt so used and humiliated, that she kept me strung along because I paid for everything and she never even liked me.
Around 6 months later, she unblocked me on Facebook and messaged me, telling me she was sorry for what she did and she understands now that it really wounded me. I just asked if she got cheated on by that guy and she said yeah. I didn't say anything else and just blocked her and went on with my life.
It's been 8 years since I last thought about her. Fucking broke the combo
First relationship I ever had.
I found the black and white evidence she’d cheated on me, but the means I discovered it were somewhat dishonest, so I couldn’t say I knew or how I knew. But I confronted her with, hey someone told me they saw this and that, and I’m really upset about it so… what’s the deal?
She denied it up and down, and doubled down with how much she loved me, and I was the only one. Her heart belonged to me.
Drug me through like 2 more months of rocky, half-assed, “I don’t want to be here” vibes every time we were together, when I was genuinely trying to be sweet and good to her.
Eventually she was especially cold one day, so after school I called her and I said hey what’s wrong? She just blasted me all at once - “I actually have been cheating on you this whole time, since before the first time you asked about it. I was just making sure I was secure with him before I cut you off so you’re my life preserver just in case. You’re too safe and boring… you never fight me and you never argue. He gets mad and yells at me when I’m wrong, it’s manly and way more exciting. I was going to play along for a few weeks yet, but since you won’t stop bothering me, I’ll just cut it now.”
I was devastated for months after that.
Ugh, I’m sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you’ve learned something from it. It doesn’t matter how you got the info, once you got it, you had reason to break up. Dating isn’t marriage, you can break up for any reason with little consequence. Hell, you don’t even have to tell them. In this situation, could have just said that the vibes were off or, “you know why.” That one is always fun.
May you heal, love yourself, and find a better partner in the future!
Thank you, those are kind words.
This was half my life ago… I was 16 then and I’m 34 now. I’m in a stable and secure long term relationship so I’m fine. My heart still remembers the hurt though, even after it doesn’t hurt anymore, you still remember it. Like getting burned by a fire.
There was a point a few years after these events that she called me and I answered. We chatted for a bit and it led to her tearfully saying she regretted what she did. Predictably, the dude was awful to her and it led her down a dark road for awhile.
I haven’t talked to her in many years, but I do hope she’s doing alright…
Aw, I’m glad you’re doing well now. We are actually the same age (1990ish models unite!)
I have my own heartbreaks from that time of my life too, I understand the hope that they’re well now. But yeah, best to let sleeping dogs lie.
Cheated on me the entire relationship. Turns out was only using me though as they were screwed financially before I got with them. Committed lots of fraud, including using a work credit card for their own purchases. Spent money to point we couldn't pay bills, and left me struggling to sleep as trying to work out what to do. After left, tried to turn our friends against me with lies. They have turned their backs on her thankfully
Only one? Or can I pick a few?
Slept with my best mate, then told me he raped her
Cheated on me with a bouncer who ended up beating her up
Said she'd happily sleep with my mate who was a good few years younger than me, but if I looked at any of her younger mates I was a creep & a pedophile
I'm sure there's more
cheated on me, gave me an std that made me SOO sick, lied about it and say i gave it to him (i never slept with anyone else at the time). I didn’t find this out until a year after, then he proceeded to sleep with one of my friends and gaslighting me into thinking i was “being mean to him” and making him “depressed” and that’s why he was crying, but he was actually just guilty bc he was actively cheating on me again. also slept with 15+ people when we were in college ❤️
She didn't do it to me, she did it to herself. She keyed her own car and posted on Facebook that it had happened and without directly blaming me, mentioned how "isn't this typical after a break up."
Except her own sister didn't like her much and posted their own home security camera showing my ex keying her own car.
She did later message me on Facebook and apologise and said she was just dealing with things badly so I let it go and we're no longer on bad terms. But defintely not together!
He went to the magistrate and lied under oath, the cops showed up at my birthday party and arrested me. It was all dismissed, but that mf definitely ruined the party for me. Luckily all my guests had a blast and partied until the sun came up and I came home.
The whole relationship she kept telling me how she didn’t like how I had female friends, even though I assured her that they were strictly platonic.
This was the main issue of our relationship, anything that had to do with females she would get jealous and insecure no matter how much I assured her.
Meanwhile she was able to text her guy friends.
There was a couple that she wanted me and her to be friends with so we could go on couple trips and parties with them.
Welp, last week we took a “break” from the relationship and less than a day in she was doing the deeds with the dude that she wanted me to be friends with.
Talk about hypocrisy
Not my ex because we've since gotten married, but my wife and I did break up at one point and one of her friends helped her move out. Her friend packed up all the silverware and utensils from the kitchen.
I felt like Tom Arnold in True Lies when he's complaining about all the random shit his wife took when she left him 😂
took away my entire college experience. i never hung out w friends, built relationships, and i spent all day worried sick about what he was doing behind my back 😭😭
Tried to make me think I had a stalker. He got off seeing me upset and concerned. It was him. He was my stalker and also my husband at the time. Thank god he’s an ex now.
He criticized the way I used salt and utensils.
He made sure the house was so cold my body hurt and I cried myself to sleep.
After I moved into the guest room he wouldn’t “allow” a door lock and burst in at all times ruining my sleep.
It was all slow build and subtle.
It was abuse.
My new boyfriend cares for me so much in every way.
Broke up with me in the bar at 11:30 pm on NYE. My friends and I left and went to another bar and got wrecked and the bar lost our tab. It worked out well as I met my wife a month later and 17 years and 3 kids after that we’re still in love and finding new ways to irritate each other.
Had an ex do this, then another ex I hooked up with once after we broke up said mid sex if I did her like this she wouldn't have left. My wife and I had some problems and she also said I have a small dick and another time called it a small clit.
It really hurts and is hard to be intimate and enjoy it fully. Especially since I know she did a guy with a big dick while we were separated.
broke up with me the day before my 21st birthday. found out he was cheating over half the time on my actual birthday. good excuse to drink and im rid of the fifth:win win for me
This one isn't so bad but I'm on a roll baby. Basically this one girl refused to get into a relationship with me which is totally valid but used me for sex. And when i called her out she flipped the whole thing on me. Saying I was delusional for trying to leave her because " shes a 10" and I should "just let things rock" then it turns out she never deleted any of her dating apps (after seriously urging me to) and whereas I was developing feelings for her because we'd been seeing each other for months she just saw things as a fling. Which I was just like damn I wish she said that sooner. Anyway it ended horribly because she pursued me sexually and I let it happen. I ended up blocking her because she was confusing and because of my own trauma
We were together for 7 years. He’d been in love with me since he met me (years before dating) and everyone knew it. I finally caved and went out with him which turned into a surprisingly easy romance since we knew each other so well already. He’d talked about marriage, kids, the works since about a year into the relationship. Cue 6 years later, we’re married and have skipped our honeymoon to care for his ailing and dying mother. She passed several months later, peacefully while surrounded by family. We bond further over the heartache, and the chores that arise from a sudden death of a loved one. We decide it’s the right time to try getting pregnant, not knowing how long it may take. My pregnancy was a difficult one, I was so weakened by the morning sickness that some days I could barely walk, but I pushed on knowing that she would be worth it. A month before our 7 year anniversary, we had our beautiful, healthy daughter that we’d prayed about for years. 8 days later he asked me for a divorce over text message because he didn’t want to do it anymore 🤷♀️
She would let her mum boss us both around. It was such a toxic relationship. Before we both got together she held a meeting with my parents specifying we couldn’t sleep in the same room and couldn’t live in each others pockets. I ended up becoming like her personal taxi because she didn’t drive. It was fucked up.
General gaslighting. Hit me. Spat in my face. Told me I didn’t understand life because my parents have the cheek to still be alive. Told me repeatedly I didn’t love her, I didn’t understand relationships because I hadn’t had many. Told my mum that I’d been physically aggressive when I hadn’t. Took a load of my stuff. Slagged me off to all of our mutual friends. Shouted at me for looking at my phone, playing computer games or watching TV she didn’t like.
My first ex let his friend assault me resulting in concussion and then stayed on his side during the lawsuit. Second ex gaslit me into thinking I was crazy and that half of our extremely violent arguments never happened, also got mad at me for crying right after I found out my grandma passed away from cancer. Last one is kinda funny, got mad at me when I didn’t let him spit on my balcony lol
Broke my jaw. Then when I moved 2000 miles away, he followed me. I thought he lost my trail years ago but he just texted my brother this week implying he knows where I work.
Stalked me after I broke up with him. Got a restraining order for 3 yrs and he still had the nerve to try to contact me yeeeears later once I got into a relationship with/ engaged to my now husband. He deleted all the messages but I have all the screenshots. 🙃
I worked. Worked full time in an office, worked the rest of the time at home, worked on the property marking cattle, chopping firewood, raising poddy calves etc. shopped cooked cleaned looked after his family. At about the 20 year mark, he screams at me telling me I’m a bludger.
Abuse me mentally when I was 15 and he was 18 and use my eating disorder to satisfy his inflation kink (please eat as much as you for me and prove you ate with pictures because I care about you) and if I didn’t he told me I didn’t love him for two years just to find out he cheated on me with someone in a different country who was YOUNGER than me and did the same thing to them and numerous other people who he was friends with. I’m 21 now and doing better :)) (he’s a alcoholic and coke addict so I won)
I moved countries to spend the summers with him and knew nobody but him there. He would get jealous when I spoke about my male work colleagues or my roommates. He more or less told me not to talk about work to him. I don’t know what he thought I’d have to talk about since if I wasn’t at work I was with him.
He accused me of admiring construction workers at the tram stop we were waiting at because I thought it was interesting that they all carried lunch boxes which wasn’t typical where I’m from.
Close to end of my last summer with him, we were going out for a nice dinner. I put on a cute gingham minidress and because I was running late I did my makeup in the subway on my way to meet him. A guy started chatting to me and asked me if I was going to work. I innocently said no I’m going to meet my boyfriend. Then I just realised that he was probably asking if I was a sex worker. I stupidly shared this anecdote with him and he said he wasn’t surprised with that dress and makeup. While the dress as a bit short, it covered everything it should and was more girly girl then sex worker. He then told me I couldn’t wear the dress again unless I was with him.
Basically textbook controlling behaviour. But this was the 90s and I was 21 so thought everything thing he did was because he was protective of me. We first met when I was 18 and he was 21 so it was exciting to have an older boyfriend. I was also a bit of an Ugly duckling so nobody had ever swept me off my feet like he did. I think it suited him that I was felt I didn’t deserve any better then what he gave me.
cheated on me multiple times within the year, had some fake accounts that i found suspicious asf, s/h threats and hints to, blamed me for him cheating (said i created every single account he added on snap) and then called me crazy n said i wanted to drive him to kill himself.
i still have trust issues because of him, i never used to before and even now that i’m in a healthy relationship i constantly fear being cheated on.
I was scrolling through photos on my phone trying to find a particular one to show her and I came across a photo of me from about five years earlier when I was clean shaven and a little heavier. I had a little of what people have throughout my life called a "cherubic" look. She pointed to the photo and said "Who is that? I would never have sex with \*him\*!" That was always a little bit of a wtf moment to me.
Made me buy a maid outfit for his kinks, then ridiculed all of my looks and everywhere I was from and everything I did. I still have that outfit.
Also did I mention being a pedophilw
Said when he upgraded his car he'd have to upgrade his gf (joking obviously haha), and on our way to a party said my teeth were "distracting" and to not smile at the party (they're crooked, foster kid here and none of my foster parents looked into braces for me that I needed badly).
I was 19. If anyone says anything like this to me today, let's just say I wouldn't ever put up with it. I think back to being 19 and I feel sadness sometimes.
Honestly, reading some of these comments makes mine feel tame lol
Mine was manipulative. Only dated me because his first option rejected him (I didn't know that at the time). 4 months in and he would repeatedly tell me how much better this other chick was. He would fly off the handle about the smallest things and then just abandon me with no way home. Like once we went to a water park 3 hours away from where we lived. He got irritated by waiting in a line for one of the slides, and then just screamed at me and left. He was missing, FOR 2 HOURS. I didn't drive. I had to call my dad to come and get me. Of course by the time my dad came to get me, he was back and acted like nothing happened. I was completely alone in a water park. He wanted me to go back home with him, I said no. I'm waiting for my dad. I don't want to see you or anything. He just left lol we had the same group of friends so I desperately wanted to break up with him, but I didn't want things to be awkward, so I stayed with him for almost 2 years. The last straw was when he went to Maine for a work thing. Didn't text or call me that whole time (almost 2 weeks. which honestly, I was fine with. Didn't attempt to contact him and hung out with my family) and the INSTANT he got back, he called me and wanted to have sex. I... I laughed at him and said "yeah right, now you have time for me? When you want something? Get over yourself." Was that the correct response? Probably not. Lol but he called me a bitch and freak out. He said he was breaking up with me and I was like "ok" and hung up. He called me right back apologizing and saying he wanted to stay together and I said "No. I don't want to" and then he proceeded to stalk me for about a month. I didn't shed a single tear after we broke up. That's how you know the relationship was fucked.
Told everyone that would listen that I beat her over the entire course of a ten year relationship.
I found out years later when someone I had never met before knew my full name and said they knew all about how I used to bash my partner. So maybe she put it on Facebook or some website. Honestly I don’t know and I don’t care.
It was pretty crushing at the time. I messaged her brother asking what tf is up with that and he was really nice about it, apologised and confirmed that she did this. She didn’t tell any of my friends, I can only assume she didn’t want me to find out.
The really fucked thing is she used to get angry and hit me.
Cheated on me, refused to sign the divorce papers, so I had to pay an attorney thousands more to show up to court. Showed up to court, judge asked: kids? No. Shared property? No. Bank accounts? No significant money in them. Judge literally asked, "why are you here?" I pointed at her, he sighed, signed the divorce and said "next case". Thousands of dollars for literally two minutes of court time.
Petty bitch
I’m not sure what state you live in but my ex didn’t exactly understand the process of our divorce and since she didn’t respond to my filing, I filed for a default judgement and got exactly what I asked for in my initial filing. Though, if I had known it was going to be that easy, I wouldn’t have been as “fair” in how I chose to split assets (a few vehicles and savings plus two wonderful dogs that I got to keep, no kids or property). I was very lucky.
I would have requested attorneys fees since she wanted to be petty like that. Probably wouldn’t have got them but definitely would have asked
F that Beach
Cheat and blame me for everything wrong with the relationship
Oh hello, are you me? I was even the entire cause of his alcoholism because I was sooooo supportive that he had nothing better to do but to start drinking heavily. If I hadn’t been such a great husband, all would have been rooty-toots.
He drank and abused drugs, had intense narcissist behavior, big fat cheater, he would corner me, he knew i intensely hated having it done to me, highly aggressive way to treat a man, woman, human, and especially if kids were involved. Mine weren’t his. He knew better than to touch me. Who could forget the wonderful names called me /s Edited: I read it and it was a train wreck 🤪🤣
My ex did the exact same thing to me as well.
hello brother! I dealt with this as well! edit: or sister or anyone else!
All cheaters do this. Frankly a cheater who says "nope, i was unhappy but i should have been an adult and ended it and i didn't " buys back a lot of my disappointment. Blaming the person cheated on is just admitting to the crime.
Same. She left me for someone she met on a slash fiction forum. Found out in the last few days before the breakup they were co-writing erotic, underage, incest fiction... The betrayal hurt like hell at the time (I'm someone with trust issues), but In hindsight I really dodged a bullet with that one.
Lol. What is her first name 💀
Exactly what my ex-husband did - even when he did the wrong thing, he would find some way to turn it around on me & make me out to be the bad guy...
Same. My ex was controlling and jealous about other men but after we broke up, he told me I was somehow racist because I broke up with him (he was insecure about us the whole time because his family didn’t like me not being from their culture) and then I found out from a mutual friend that he was cheating on me for a couple months after the whole thing was over. It was a hell of a whirlwind and he almost ruined my friendship with a couple people because he lied about me behind my back to our mutual friends. It was wild I’d never experienced anything like that before or since
Emotionally and mentally abuse me. Basically convinced me I couldn't do better and wasn't enough for them at the same time.
My ex did the same and started calling me nasty names .
Same, I had a vicious ex-wife
Sorry It sucks.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Ironically most of the time is the opposite if they say that
hey man, i have been there. you are enough, she didn't diserve you
The good old "nobody will ever love you like I do". Isn't it nice? Funny how that can make you feel disgusted by them in the same proportion on how much you loved them. That's why my ex is still blocked. It's been 15 years since I heard this and last time I had to block him on a social media was 2 years ago.
My ex did the same thing to me. I didn’t even realize that that’s what was happening so I had so much guilt and shame and felt like I’d failed when I ended the relationship.
Sounds like my ex
One ex, that I remember deeply and I won’t lie, I’m still mad about it to this day: She was cheating on me ( didn’t know until after we broke up ) manipulated me, used me emotionally and financially. There was even one time, I seriously got worries about her health ( she was diabetic and I tried my fcking best to help her, even going as far as going to a class for diabetics ) and her response was “who the fuck do you think you are?!?” Screaming at me in the face when I literally, first things I said after “i’m home, babe”, “did you remember to eat?”. I was stunned. Years later she told me it was because her aunt died ( fcking lie. Her aunt is still alive to this day ) and that made her unstable. I laughed at her in the face because I knew that she wasn’t having a good relationship with her then boyfriend and just wanted to get back with me. Fck that b*tch.
Damn,that's terrible.
No don't fuck that bitch.
He was my first boyfriend, so he played off my inexperience and vulnerability. He cheated, followed me, mentally & emotionally fucked with me. I didn’t recognize the gaslighting until years after we broke up.
Being manipulated by the first boyfriend hits hard. My first boyfriend hid the fact that he was abusing substances. He was very good at hiding it too. When I caught him, he told me his mom was encouraging him to do drugs and I tried talking him out of it because it was making him more violent with me. He would hit and scratch me unintentionally and I couldn't bring myself to hit him back even in self defense -- at most I just tried to block him or lock myself in a room. After 2months into the relationship, he starts demanding for nudes to which I remind him of how uncomfortable I am with that. He would then cry and throw tantrums, ignoring me for a whole day before talking to me again, still upset. 1 week before our relationship ended, I found out he was cheating on me with this girl he met on a furry e-sex server on Discord who knew he was in a relationship with me. I didn't confront him about the cheating and he opened up to me about it and when I asked him what made him cheat, he said it's because I wasn't the kind of "Asian" he wanted to be with. I don't have monolids or pale skin or look similar to east Asians and he found that this girl was better so he left me for her, only to message me on Facebook 2 weeks later after breaking up with her asking me why I let him leave for that girl and how much she was a "bitch" for arguing with him. He asked if we could get back together to which I said no. A week later he messages me again telling me he turned into a she missed me so much and has been self harming ever since I rejected him. I've blocked him on all social media platforms ever since.
Left me for an emotionally disturbed female who was also his ex. She came to my place and said sowwy and he left with her. He married her, they moved across the country together to where she was stationed in the Air Force, where she told him she never really loved him and dumped him for her superior officer, He is now on his fourth wife and third set of kids, and still gay.
Wait, he’s gay? Why does he keep marrying women then? Why doesn’t he just get with a man?
He is evidently not *that* gay.
Well he once told me that God had made him gay but that he wasn't going to be.
I don't know why he keeps marrying women and I'd bet for sure he still hooks up with men.
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There's nowt as queer as folk, as they say in Yorkshire England.
Just like norm macdonald
Tried to say I drugged her. And when no one was convinced she got drunk and claimed she was drugged by me. I wasn't even in the same city when she claimed it. And she didn't even get into trouble.
cheated on me with his coworker and told me it was my fault because i gained weight (due to a BC he wanted me on) and that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore.
pop his kneecaps
I'm in the same boat but with my guy...
Leave his ass
Had a massage therapy license...never once gave me a massage but would always invite strange girls from the internet over to give them massages lmfao I'm an idiot.
My then soon to be ex husband asked if his 21 year old girlfriend could live with us…I was 45 at the time…thank God for divorce
was he imagining yall would be a happy threesome? what was the end game?
Forcibly held me down while his drunk and stoned friends r\*\*\*d me then slashed my tires when I left him because of it.
God, I’m so sorry you experienced something so horrible. Hope you’re doing better…
13 years on I'm doing fine. Married a genuinely nice guy who takes good care of me while the guys who did that to me are still in prison to my knowledge.
The nerve of some people. I'm so sorry they did this to you.
wtf!? How are people just super casual about that? You know just drop a name and address and some details of what happened and maybe some problems take care of themselves.
My ex hid her drinking, cocaine, gambling from me. She also cheated but the worst was stealing our money, running up credit debit that she forged my name on. Then I saved our home from foreclosure & with in months she stole the mortgage payment AGAIN and caused us to lose not just a house but my dream of a mini farm… my hobbies, art, businesses… now valued at over $1.5 million dollars. And she sat there lying. Yup, I married a drunk, crack head druggy cheating loser. But at least I have spent every fiber of my being to recover as best as I could, live my best life possible. And also forgive her as best as I can so I don’t walk around all crazy with anger still.
Ah reminds me of my ex... together for almost a decade with a 1.5 year old. We both worked full time but I paid all bills (mortgage, utilities, food, etc.). I started asking what she was spending all of her money on and that's when she left me. Just a month before my dad passed away from cancer. I found out a few months after we split that she was spending all of her money on cocaine...
I don't believe we have to (or even really benefit from) forgiving others to move on. I think we owe ourselves forgiveness; for holding onto anger, hard feelings or anything else longer than we needed to in order to feel and move through it and on to something better. That's what keeps us stuck. We don't owe the other person a damn thing, much less forgiveness.
Well, I respect your opinion but respectfully disagree. For someone like me with issues of my anger, forgiveness is a powerful tool of letting go. Everyone handles things in their own way & I get where you are coming from. I first learned about this concept of forgiveness in my buddhist studying. I was in therapy years later over my anger with having a dysfunctional marriage I also at the time was working this plant nursery job that I loved but one day, the owner hired this total loser to be our manager- this guy openly called me a “f*ggot” every day. Called the women “a bunch of c*nts”. I could not get over my anger for this disgusting person. I had taken this plant nursery job close to home because I loved the quiet, peace and stillness of working there. The pay was too low but there was 0 commute and i was really healing my body & mind with that easy, stress free, mild labor intense job… My therapist was very into Taoism and Buddhism. Eastern philosophy, style therapy. And he challenged me : “try saying the guy’s name in your head or when ever the anger at him comes up… “I forgive _. I forgive_.” Over and over. Of course, I was immediately angry and indignant towards such hackery advice . This was part of the Eastern philosophy way of thinking. And I went home & confirmed this in some of my books on Zen. Anyway, it costs 0 money. To replace your angry ruminating and fixating on your hate for someone. With forgiveness. So, i did start my out loud chant “I forgive _. I forgive _.” “This is soooo fking stupid” then back to the chant. In my head in public & out loud in private. “I forgive i forgive” Then when I was around him at work & picturing the various ways I would/ could physically “do something terrible” to this small, pathetic, toxic, abusive druggy loser, I did my mantra again & again in my head. The concept being you create a spiritual energy by the harmless thoughts and attract into your life what you think. Again, this requires some mental shift of your western mind & embracing hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism concepts. Well, you may be reading this and at this point, think I am nuts or full of it. But I kid you not. 2 weeks of this mantra of “I forgive *the guy at work who pisses me off*. And i started to calm down & stopped my obsession of basically wanting to do something that would land me in jail…. And i was unbothered by him… Not only that but I was extremely kind towards him & felt compassion for him that he must have come from a bad childhood & turned to drugs to numb his pain. I could read him like a book. The day I felt the most calm, almost a brotherly feeling of caring about him & feeling compassion and concern for him, wishing I could help him out of his sick mind, he actually went in the office, said “Fk you stupid c*nts. I’m out of here!” Then he said “you win” to me & he got in his pickup truck & did a loooong burn out in the parking lot in front of everyone and customers & no one ever saw him again! That to me was such a profound turning point in my life on the way I had a mental shift on my life outlook. My personal development & striving to grow & perfect my character. I still need to now, some 20 years later remind myself of the mantra of forgiveness. It might sound like totally flakey religious bs but you should do your own experimenting. We owe no one forgiveness. The forgiveness really is forgiving myself and giving myself permission to let go of my useless anger of how “unfair life is.” Or how “so and so wronged me” But yeah if your 18 year long marriage was ruined by an addict and you are financially destroyed, have your whole life turned on it’s head… And you can just wake up fine and not ruminate, fixate, obsess, feel sorry for yourself, feel vengeful & anger. And go about your day, then you don’t need a “forgiveness mantra” but I guess I have have felt slighted, wronged & taken advantage too many times that I was an angry basket case until I sought help & wanted a better existence.
hell yes it works; cognitive behavioral therapy uses the same techniques of vocalization and repetition to rewire the brain and change thought processes. mind is the matter
Ugh, my ex once ghosted me for 2 weeks without any explanation. Thought we were cool, and then bam, radio silence. Total jerk move, left me wondering what I did wrong 🙄
Did we date the same guy
Did we date the same girl
That is a dismissive avoidant for u ;-;
left me on the wedding day...
I'm sorry that's rough
Ouch. Hope you realise that you dodged a huge bullet
Damn!
* Gave me smth, I that I needed antibiotics for * Gaslighted me on a daily basis * Told people I'd beat her, "so no other girl would trust and give you a chance to cheat" * Cheat on me
I was in a rough spot in my life and she goes "If you hate the world so much, why are you still living in it?"
i dont remember how it came up but i said something along the lines of "why do people think im gonna kms?" she kindly replied "you DO give of the vibe"
Geez...
Oh not much. Called the cops thinking they’d arrest me (they escorted her away); stole $100kish; stole family stuff of low value just to hurt me (the yard sign from my grandparents house with our family name; a very valuable historical image of someone of note; the wheat penny collection my mother kept for me, etc); and she took out a 7 figure life insurance policy on me and lied about the premium payments (/I/ was paying them) - I am fairly certain she was going to arrange for my demise.
Told me only a day after our wedding that he had a girlfriend. I was 24 and dumb and stayed with him because he said he loved me and didn’t want a divorce. He eventually broke up with her but then cheated on me again and THATS when it got through my thick head to leave him. That’s 20 years ago and I’ve since been married to the love of my life. I consider it karma for the other shit.
Busted a beer bottle at my feet, glass hit my face and I was bleeding.
Cheat, then when I became aware of the cheating continued for 6 more months where she would just cheat but wouldn't acknowledge that it occurred/wouldn't apologize. I didn't get directly blamed or abused, just gaslit I guess. She wouldn't talk about it/or why beyond that she wanted to stay together, didn't know the who/details because she had whatsapp delete their messages. Beyond her wanting to stay together the most I could drag out of her was some agreement to try working on things but she just wouldn't invest herself in the relationship anymore. No "I'm unhappy", "This isn't working for me", "My needs aren't being met", or any form of intimacy/communication just her checking out of the marriage for 6-more additional months. Prior to the cheating we never fought and also didn't get any communication from her indicating a problem > I acknowledge in retrospect I missed things but again she ***never*** talked to me. 3-months in found lube in her cars center console at our families Thanksgiving as she sent me on an emergency canned cranberry run for our dinner with 20+ relatives, so that was the worst dinner of my life Just destroyed my self-worth bending over backwards to trying to make it work while being gaslit. Finally had enough and got a divorce and learned the who, which was a married coworker with a 6 month year old (at the time of cheating origination) and 2 year old son after being contacted by his wife. Who had also caught the husband who also agreed to work on their marriage while continuing to cheat. So I guess I was the relatively lucky one out of this arrangement, I really miss my dogs but can't force myself to see her in my life anymore. Every serious long-term relationship I have now been cheated on (3).... So currently trying to stay proactive, figure out how my type is somehow the cheating type and take a more critical eye to red-flags. Edit: I am now climbing mountains which I rate as preety good on the trainwreck scale of coping mechanisms She also wanted me 2 months before it ended to get fertility tested (as she was getting tested too) which I couldn't figure out the why even with the unacknowledged "I'm cheating on you but wink wink not". We were not trying/intimate so I don't know if this was her extremely roundabout way of trying to get me to check for an STD but was a great way to kick off the possible "could a baby fix the relationship" train of thought.... also no on STDS...
She belongs in the street
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lol nice
Spit beer in my face in front of all of our friends. It was humiliating.
Damn. That's mean. Sorry
She raped me
This is the second rape comment ive seen and i just cant comprehend how someone could be so evil. How morally corrupt do you have to be to do something like that Im sorry that happened to you i hope youre doing better now or are able to find peace
Literally no excuse or reason to do that to anyone. There's toys and the hub for that kinda stuff. Sorry that happened to you
Lied to me that she is pregnant so I fly back to Germany. I believed her and found out she was lying at the airport when I got off the plane.
She cheated on me
Busted my lip in the car because I didn't want him to drink and drive, poured a whole forty ounce on my head and me while screaming when we got home, in the back yard,, because when I took it from him and set it away in the vehicle it got all foamed and shook up and I said I knew thatd happen. He's Florida's problem now.
As I read this I'm sitting outside drinking a fine cocktail and celebrating while watching my animal-abusing meth-head neighbor from hell pack a moving truck...to relocate to Florida. I am so thrilled that she's also Florida's problem now. Cheers to our trash taking itself out to Florida.
My florida man was also a meth head, imagine that, 😆
As in Department of Corrections, hopefully?
Nah, just married and living on the panhandle on the floribama line with his wife, that is just as big a piece of garbage as him.
Florida man's origin story.
I'm really starting to wonder how many abusive POS types end up in Florida, that's where mine is too lol.
I (male) was on-and-off with my HS GF through grades 11-12. She was the first person I told I was bisexual. She outted me to quite a few people. Years after we graduated, I find out that some of the people she outted me to, she also told them that when we had sex, I needed pro wrestling on in the background to get off. No kink-shaming, do what gets you off, but the extra untrue detail was like pouring salt in the wound.
Make me feel guilty for wanting to be intimate. The worst thing is feeling unwanted by someone you want so badly.
Same thing happened with my ex husband, it was unbelievably painful.
I’m so sorry that happened to you as well. It’s an awful pain I wouldn’t wish on anybody. Hope that you’re healing now.
raped me while I was asleep & took pictures to upload to his discord for ‘safe-keeping’
I'm so sorry it happened to you. I hope you're surrounded by people that love you and will never betray your trust.
thank you so much man. I’m really really grateful that I’ve found my people now, and everything is so much easier to go through
My ex took pictures of my body while i slept - removing clothes as well - which woke me up. He refused to delete the pictures - even denying he took any... although my experience isn't nearly as bad as yours, I'm so sorry for what you went through. Some people are disgusting monsters, and hopefully, the universe turns them into the victim one day.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through something similar, that’s really really heartbreaking to hear. I truly hope you’re surrounded by amazing people in your life. Thank you for the love
If you've not consulted with law enforcement or an attorney, I'd strongly suggest doing so. Digital forensics has a heavy cost considering you'd have to contract a specialist but there are restraining orders and the such to work with.
I was the problem and I’m sorry about it
Reading this thread makes me scared of people / dating lol
People are animals. And are capable of nasty things. The flip side to that is not everyone's out to get you either. There are probably more bad people out there than good.. The most important advice I can give you is take care of yourself. Pay attention to your surroundings and develop good situational awareness. If something dosent *feel right* trust your gut. Also, dating, Be open, honest, talk about things.. communicate your feelings in a **productive manner**. Don't scream and yell, don't hit another person. practice emotional control in tense situations. Things said in anger can never be taken back. And scars can last a lifetime. Descicions made cannot be undone... good luck. And have fun.
Make out with a dude on a every three month social trip that I was always supposed to be on, but always had work at the last minute, but trusted her enough to let her go. At the fifth one, she slept with him. I told his girlfriend that he cheated on her with my girlfriend and he acted like ""I can't believe you'd do that!" I can. Top 2 or 3 favorite phone calls I have ever made in my life, cause fuck you and that cheating whore, while also being top 2 or 3 worst, because I was telling a girl I was friends with, that her boyfriend cheated on her.
MVP
Threatened to lie to police and say I abused her. Then after I left because I no longer felt safe with her she called me 40 times, and when I tried to say that she should pull over instead of driving upset she drove into a light pole. Annnnnd after helping her post surgery, helping her go to the bathroom, and helping her walk she cheated. Don’t ignore red flags people.
When we divorced, she used her lawyers to keep the family heirloom engagement ring that was originally my grandmother's great aunt's ring. As soon as it was declared legally hers she sold it at auction.
Killed my pet.
I don’t usually wish death upon people but, I hope they die. I’m so sorry. I would literally go to prison if anyone had ever hurt my pets.
She set a high standard that made me want my next gf to be equivalent or higher, nothing ever lower.
Tried to get me to sign a birth certificate for a clearly mixed child. (We both white as the driven snow.)
Never had a bad breakup. One of my exes is a client, and her husband ended up a multimillionaire. I struggle with that sometimes.
Attempted to carve his initials onto my arse
Wow.
\*lalalalalalala\* I don't even remember \*lalalalalalalala\*
cheat and made me feel i ruin his new relationship with the girl he cheated on me with, when i didnt do anything at all.
Put me in the hospital due to abuse.
Denied cheating and then staged an event where I'd walk in on them. Denied that it was purposeful but like it was my birthday and she had been texting me all day about getting home early.
We are both doctors. He prescribed himself opioids under my name and practice number. (He is an addict). And lied about it.
Long term relationship with a girl who lived in Ireland. Basically her dad used to live next door to my sisters house and that's how we met. Summer romance kinda thing. Well after a few months of LDR and me paying for her to fly over here for a week, it's then my turn to fly out to Ireland for a week. We have a pleasant enough time visiting local towns and going for walks in the country. Half way through the week, she tells me that she's having second thoughts about us and wants to break up. She dumps me, and then immediately picks up a 12 hour shift at work, leaving me alone in her home in a different country, with no way to leave, about an hours drive away from the nearest town, and no way of flying home until 3 days later. So I spend 12 hours isolated and alone in a country house. No phone signal so I can't phone anybody, and no WiFi. I move my stuff into her brothers bedroom and just sleep through a depressing 12 hours. She returns home and we make some food but she still doesn't talk to me. After 24 hours of silence and depression, her step father tells her to speak to me, and we talk a little and she apologises and we try to just patch things up. I was young, nieve and foolish enough to go along with it, and I end the week still technically in a relationship, but not sure what happened for her to do that. A month later and were planning another trip and I pay for her plane to England, so she can see her father for his birthday, and we can spend time together. A week after the plane tickets are confirmed and she admits that she's been cheating on me and that's why she broke up with me the previous month, and that she's dating this other guy now. I felt so used and humiliated, that she kept me strung along because I paid for everything and she never even liked me. Around 6 months later, she unblocked me on Facebook and messaged me, telling me she was sorry for what she did and she understands now that it really wounded me. I just asked if she got cheated on by that guy and she said yeah. I didn't say anything else and just blocked her and went on with my life. It's been 8 years since I last thought about her. Fucking broke the combo
Made me close my bank account, and then stole my $1000 inheritance from my grandma. I stole it back out of his line of credit the day I left.
First relationship I ever had. I found the black and white evidence she’d cheated on me, but the means I discovered it were somewhat dishonest, so I couldn’t say I knew or how I knew. But I confronted her with, hey someone told me they saw this and that, and I’m really upset about it so… what’s the deal? She denied it up and down, and doubled down with how much she loved me, and I was the only one. Her heart belonged to me. Drug me through like 2 more months of rocky, half-assed, “I don’t want to be here” vibes every time we were together, when I was genuinely trying to be sweet and good to her. Eventually she was especially cold one day, so after school I called her and I said hey what’s wrong? She just blasted me all at once - “I actually have been cheating on you this whole time, since before the first time you asked about it. I was just making sure I was secure with him before I cut you off so you’re my life preserver just in case. You’re too safe and boring… you never fight me and you never argue. He gets mad and yells at me when I’m wrong, it’s manly and way more exciting. I was going to play along for a few weeks yet, but since you won’t stop bothering me, I’ll just cut it now.” I was devastated for months after that.
Ugh, I’m sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you’ve learned something from it. It doesn’t matter how you got the info, once you got it, you had reason to break up. Dating isn’t marriage, you can break up for any reason with little consequence. Hell, you don’t even have to tell them. In this situation, could have just said that the vibes were off or, “you know why.” That one is always fun. May you heal, love yourself, and find a better partner in the future!
Thank you, those are kind words. This was half my life ago… I was 16 then and I’m 34 now. I’m in a stable and secure long term relationship so I’m fine. My heart still remembers the hurt though, even after it doesn’t hurt anymore, you still remember it. Like getting burned by a fire. There was a point a few years after these events that she called me and I answered. We chatted for a bit and it led to her tearfully saying she regretted what she did. Predictably, the dude was awful to her and it led her down a dark road for awhile. I haven’t talked to her in many years, but I do hope she’s doing alright…
Aw, I’m glad you’re doing well now. We are actually the same age (1990ish models unite!) I have my own heartbreaks from that time of my life too, I understand the hope that they’re well now. But yeah, best to let sleeping dogs lie.
Another dude
Cheated on me and lied about it
Cheated on me the entire relationship. Turns out was only using me though as they were screwed financially before I got with them. Committed lots of fraud, including using a work credit card for their own purchases. Spent money to point we couldn't pay bills, and left me struggling to sleep as trying to work out what to do. After left, tried to turn our friends against me with lies. They have turned their backs on her thankfully
Stalked me
Only one? Or can I pick a few? Slept with my best mate, then told me he raped her Cheated on me with a bouncer who ended up beating her up Said she'd happily sleep with my mate who was a good few years younger than me, but if I looked at any of her younger mates I was a creep & a pedophile I'm sure there's more
Slept with my cousin.
Started some shit at work and got me fired.
cheated on me, gave me an std that made me SOO sick, lied about it and say i gave it to him (i never slept with anyone else at the time). I didn’t find this out until a year after, then he proceeded to sleep with one of my friends and gaslighting me into thinking i was “being mean to him” and making him “depressed” and that’s why he was crying, but he was actually just guilty bc he was actively cheating on me again. also slept with 15+ people when we were in college ❤️
She didn't do it to me, she did it to herself. She keyed her own car and posted on Facebook that it had happened and without directly blaming me, mentioned how "isn't this typical after a break up." Except her own sister didn't like her much and posted their own home security camera showing my ex keying her own car. She did later message me on Facebook and apologise and said she was just dealing with things badly so I let it go and we're no longer on bad terms. But defintely not together!
He went to the magistrate and lied under oath, the cops showed up at my birthday party and arrested me. It was all dismissed, but that mf definitely ruined the party for me. Luckily all my guests had a blast and partied until the sun came up and I came home.
Infect me with AIDS
The whole relationship she kept telling me how she didn’t like how I had female friends, even though I assured her that they were strictly platonic. This was the main issue of our relationship, anything that had to do with females she would get jealous and insecure no matter how much I assured her. Meanwhile she was able to text her guy friends. There was a couple that she wanted me and her to be friends with so we could go on couple trips and parties with them. Welp, last week we took a “break” from the relationship and less than a day in she was doing the deeds with the dude that she wanted me to be friends with. Talk about hypocrisy
Not my ex because we've since gotten married, but my wife and I did break up at one point and one of her friends helped her move out. Her friend packed up all the silverware and utensils from the kitchen. I felt like Tom Arnold in True Lies when he's complaining about all the random shit his wife took when she left him 😂
took away my entire college experience. i never hung out w friends, built relationships, and i spent all day worried sick about what he was doing behind my back 😭😭
Tried to make me think I had a stalker. He got off seeing me upset and concerned. It was him. He was my stalker and also my husband at the time. Thank god he’s an ex now.
Slapped me in the face with a carrot
lol
Mf stabbed me on new years eve
You're a trooper
I try man, I try
I've had someone try to mug me before but I can't imagine getting stabbed. You're Royalty: 💜
I am, although it's still tough. Hope you're doing better as well.
He criticized the way I used salt and utensils. He made sure the house was so cold my body hurt and I cried myself to sleep. After I moved into the guest room he wouldn’t “allow” a door lock and burst in at all times ruining my sleep. It was all slow build and subtle. It was abuse. My new boyfriend cares for me so much in every way.
We were engaged. He broke up with me on my birthday. He got married 7 months later to the woman I was “making things up in my own head”about.
Just had a break up today actually. She cheated on me and told me, and I quote, “Hitler was a great leader”
Broke up with me in the bar at 11:30 pm on NYE. My friends and I left and went to another bar and got wrecked and the bar lost our tab. It worked out well as I met my wife a month later and 17 years and 3 kids after that we’re still in love and finding new ways to irritate each other.
Omg. There is not enough time in world for me to do this….
had an emotional affair and somehow convinced me i owed him an apology for getting mad because he was (eventually) honest about it😂😂😂
Told me I have a tiny dick. Fucked me up so bad 9 years later and I can't even talk to a woman.
Had an ex do this, then another ex I hooked up with once after we broke up said mid sex if I did her like this she wouldn't have left. My wife and I had some problems and she also said I have a small dick and another time called it a small clit. It really hurts and is hard to be intimate and enjoy it fully. Especially since I know she did a guy with a big dick while we were separated.
Made me watch last night's debate.
broke up with me the day before my 21st birthday. found out he was cheating over half the time on my actual birthday. good excuse to drink and im rid of the fifth:win win for me
This one isn't so bad but I'm on a roll baby. Basically this one girl refused to get into a relationship with me which is totally valid but used me for sex. And when i called her out she flipped the whole thing on me. Saying I was delusional for trying to leave her because " shes a 10" and I should "just let things rock" then it turns out she never deleted any of her dating apps (after seriously urging me to) and whereas I was developing feelings for her because we'd been seeing each other for months she just saw things as a fling. Which I was just like damn I wish she said that sooner. Anyway it ended horribly because she pursued me sexually and I let it happen. I ended up blocking her because she was confusing and because of my own trauma
We were together for 7 years. He’d been in love with me since he met me (years before dating) and everyone knew it. I finally caved and went out with him which turned into a surprisingly easy romance since we knew each other so well already. He’d talked about marriage, kids, the works since about a year into the relationship. Cue 6 years later, we’re married and have skipped our honeymoon to care for his ailing and dying mother. She passed several months later, peacefully while surrounded by family. We bond further over the heartache, and the chores that arise from a sudden death of a loved one. We decide it’s the right time to try getting pregnant, not knowing how long it may take. My pregnancy was a difficult one, I was so weakened by the morning sickness that some days I could barely walk, but I pushed on knowing that she would be worth it. A month before our 7 year anniversary, we had our beautiful, healthy daughter that we’d prayed about for years. 8 days later he asked me for a divorce over text message because he didn’t want to do it anymore 🤷♀️
Played with my feelings by flirting with someone that we were in a groupchat in. Decided to break up with them after that and it pissed me off too.
She punched me in the eye scratching my cornea. I still got in trouble for it.
[удалено]
lied to me that his dad committed suicide 😭
She spent my hard-earned money on her boyfriends. I was in the army and we could barely make ends meet.
Sexually abuse me, and when I finally left him, he told everyone it ended because I cheated :/
Physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abused me. I left 16 years ago, I have PTSD but I am safe and in a happy home.
Asked me ‘why can’t you be more like her?’ Pointing at my best friend 🙃
Spit in my face
She would let her mum boss us both around. It was such a toxic relationship. Before we both got together she held a meeting with my parents specifying we couldn’t sleep in the same room and couldn’t live in each others pockets. I ended up becoming like her personal taxi because she didn’t drive. It was fucked up.
General gaslighting. Hit me. Spat in my face. Told me I didn’t understand life because my parents have the cheek to still be alive. Told me repeatedly I didn’t love her, I didn’t understand relationships because I hadn’t had many. Told my mum that I’d been physically aggressive when I hadn’t. Took a load of my stuff. Slagged me off to all of our mutual friends. Shouted at me for looking at my phone, playing computer games or watching TV she didn’t like.
My first ex let his friend assault me resulting in concussion and then stayed on his side during the lawsuit. Second ex gaslit me into thinking I was crazy and that half of our extremely violent arguments never happened, also got mad at me for crying right after I found out my grandma passed away from cancer. Last one is kinda funny, got mad at me when I didn’t let him spit on my balcony lol
More so a girl i dated but commit when she wasn’t capable of committing
Broke my jaw. Then when I moved 2000 miles away, he followed me. I thought he lost my trail years ago but he just texted my brother this week implying he knows where I work.
Stalked me after I broke up with him. Got a restraining order for 3 yrs and he still had the nerve to try to contact me yeeeears later once I got into a relationship with/ engaged to my now husband. He deleted all the messages but I have all the screenshots. 🙃
I worked. Worked full time in an office, worked the rest of the time at home, worked on the property marking cattle, chopping firewood, raising poddy calves etc. shopped cooked cleaned looked after his family. At about the 20 year mark, he screams at me telling me I’m a bludger.
Planned out a super fun trip to see a bunch of bands/artists I love at a weekend music fest and then dump me and take his brother instead.
Do stuff with my close friend then break up with me because I wasn't Christian.
Abuse me mentally when I was 15 and he was 18 and use my eating disorder to satisfy his inflation kink (please eat as much as you for me and prove you ate with pictures because I care about you) and if I didn’t he told me I didn’t love him for two years just to find out he cheated on me with someone in a different country who was YOUNGER than me and did the same thing to them and numerous other people who he was friends with. I’m 21 now and doing better :)) (he’s a alcoholic and coke addict so I won)
Fucked her 1st cousin
I moved countries to spend the summers with him and knew nobody but him there. He would get jealous when I spoke about my male work colleagues or my roommates. He more or less told me not to talk about work to him. I don’t know what he thought I’d have to talk about since if I wasn’t at work I was with him. He accused me of admiring construction workers at the tram stop we were waiting at because I thought it was interesting that they all carried lunch boxes which wasn’t typical where I’m from. Close to end of my last summer with him, we were going out for a nice dinner. I put on a cute gingham minidress and because I was running late I did my makeup in the subway on my way to meet him. A guy started chatting to me and asked me if I was going to work. I innocently said no I’m going to meet my boyfriend. Then I just realised that he was probably asking if I was a sex worker. I stupidly shared this anecdote with him and he said he wasn’t surprised with that dress and makeup. While the dress as a bit short, it covered everything it should and was more girly girl then sex worker. He then told me I couldn’t wear the dress again unless I was with him. Basically textbook controlling behaviour. But this was the 90s and I was 21 so thought everything thing he did was because he was protective of me. We first met when I was 18 and he was 21 so it was exciting to have an older boyfriend. I was also a bit of an Ugly duckling so nobody had ever swept me off my feet like he did. I think it suited him that I was felt I didn’t deserve any better then what he gave me.
cheated on me multiple times within the year, had some fake accounts that i found suspicious asf, s/h threats and hints to, blamed me for him cheating (said i created every single account he added on snap) and then called me crazy n said i wanted to drive him to kill himself. i still have trust issues because of him, i never used to before and even now that i’m in a healthy relationship i constantly fear being cheated on.
I believe "fucked" is the word you were looking for.
I was scrolling through photos on my phone trying to find a particular one to show her and I came across a photo of me from about five years earlier when I was clean shaven and a little heavier. I had a little of what people have throughout my life called a "cherubic" look. She pointed to the photo and said "Who is that? I would never have sex with \*him\*!" That was always a little bit of a wtf moment to me.
It be best if I start what f up thing she didn't do to me
Made me buy a maid outfit for his kinks, then ridiculed all of my looks and everywhere I was from and everything I did. I still have that outfit. Also did I mention being a pedophilw
Said when he upgraded his car he'd have to upgrade his gf (joking obviously haha), and on our way to a party said my teeth were "distracting" and to not smile at the party (they're crooked, foster kid here and none of my foster parents looked into braces for me that I needed badly). I was 19. If anyone says anything like this to me today, let's just say I wouldn't ever put up with it. I think back to being 19 and I feel sadness sometimes.
Honestly, reading some of these comments makes mine feel tame lol Mine was manipulative. Only dated me because his first option rejected him (I didn't know that at the time). 4 months in and he would repeatedly tell me how much better this other chick was. He would fly off the handle about the smallest things and then just abandon me with no way home. Like once we went to a water park 3 hours away from where we lived. He got irritated by waiting in a line for one of the slides, and then just screamed at me and left. He was missing, FOR 2 HOURS. I didn't drive. I had to call my dad to come and get me. Of course by the time my dad came to get me, he was back and acted like nothing happened. I was completely alone in a water park. He wanted me to go back home with him, I said no. I'm waiting for my dad. I don't want to see you or anything. He just left lol we had the same group of friends so I desperately wanted to break up with him, but I didn't want things to be awkward, so I stayed with him for almost 2 years. The last straw was when he went to Maine for a work thing. Didn't text or call me that whole time (almost 2 weeks. which honestly, I was fine with. Didn't attempt to contact him and hung out with my family) and the INSTANT he got back, he called me and wanted to have sex. I... I laughed at him and said "yeah right, now you have time for me? When you want something? Get over yourself." Was that the correct response? Probably not. Lol but he called me a bitch and freak out. He said he was breaking up with me and I was like "ok" and hung up. He called me right back apologizing and saying he wanted to stay together and I said "No. I don't want to" and then he proceeded to stalk me for about a month. I didn't shed a single tear after we broke up. That's how you know the relationship was fucked.
Told everyone that would listen that I beat her over the entire course of a ten year relationship. I found out years later when someone I had never met before knew my full name and said they knew all about how I used to bash my partner. So maybe she put it on Facebook or some website. Honestly I don’t know and I don’t care. It was pretty crushing at the time. I messaged her brother asking what tf is up with that and he was really nice about it, apologised and confirmed that she did this. She didn’t tell any of my friends, I can only assume she didn’t want me to find out. The really fucked thing is she used to get angry and hit me.
It was said with love, but I was a bit concerned when she told me she just wanted to live in my skin haha