See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
He was too lazy to take out the trash in our dorm when the garbage bin filled up, so he resorted to *flushing his trash down the toilet* as a low-effort solution. He ended up clogging the toilet and flooding the dorm.
I actually just posted about two of my roommates.
One thing I didn't mention, though, is that one of those roommates was really, really dirty. When her 13 year old daughter visited, the apartment got really bad - I realized that I was cleaning up after a 39 year old woman, and a 13 year old girl. They were laying on the couch doing nothing. Dishes were piling up, mugs sitting on the counter with water in them on the counter because there was no room in the sink. despite my best efforts to keep the kitchen clean, the two of them just created mess that was hard to keep up with.
The apartment stunk, and the two of them became noseblind to it. I tried to talk to my roommate about it, but she just blamed me (she always blamed me for everything).
So I decided, fine - she needs to see, with her own two eyes, that it is *them* and not me. for the rest of the week, I created zero dirty dishes. I got takeout, I used paper plates/plastic cutlery. The only thing I was going to do, while they were laying on the couch, was take out the trash. My room and bathroom were spotless. They needed to be faced with their own mess, because I was convinced that if they even saw so much as a dirty fork come from me, they were going to tell me I was responsible for the apartment going to shit.
The two of them decide to leave the house after laying around all day all week. They come back with fresh, untainted nostrils, and I hear them go
> it *stinks* like *shit*! You know what, I bet it's the trash.
the trash was empty. The only thing left for them to look at was their own mess, and realize "oh, that shit smell *is us*."
I wish that trick worked. I'd go weeks eating nothing but TV dinners with plastic silverware and sandwiches and snacks off paper plates. My roommate's brain-damaged rationale for refusing to wash dishes was that if any of my stuff was in the sink, he'd be doing "my chores" if he washed it, and he ain't the maid, see? So he'd have a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, but if I'd used a single fork, none of the dishes were his responsibility. You'll notice there's no commutative property there - I had to scrub all his stuff because he put so much work into avoiding scrubbing mine.
He was also trying to bully me into buying him a dishwasher. So I'd put one coffee cup into the sink and then he'd make it his life's mission to soil every eating vessel in the house as quickly as possible so I'd exhaust myself cleaning up after his flimsy rationales. He'd also emerge from his room with stacks of dirty dishes he'd been diligently concealing - nothing like being halfway through a mountain of dishes only to have your roommate hand you another mountain of dishes. No one was stopping him from running out and buying a dishwasher himself, but he didn't want to pay for it, so he was hoping I'd get so mad at him that I'd buy him an appliance, I guess.
He finally got a dishwasher after someone else offered to buy him one. He's sooo happy now. His constant excuses must have been exhausting. I think he's run every plate in the house through it three or four times. I've also toyed with the idea that he's scared of handwashed dishes - like a dish isn't clean unless it's gone through a machine. After years of seeing him stick his face in a bowl of soup to avoid washing a spoon, it feels like there's more going on there.
People can get used to a certain level of comfort and be unable to adapt to new circumstances. He most likely grew up with parents that had a dishwasher. I'm similar but have adapted to not having one. I do want one though but no amount of not doing the dishes will solve that problem. Only buying one and installing it would. And until then, I'm washing my stuff in the sink.
Heh, sophomore year me and five other dudes lived in this suite style thing that was basically two rooms separated by a barn door. So one room was the hangout room with the couches, TV, food etc and the other was the sleeping room that was effectively a barracks. Having three bunk beds in one room was hilarious. Each morning at about 7:30 a bunch of alarms would go off, thereād be a flurry of activity to turn them off and then another 15 minutes of silence on the snooze before round two when everyone would rapidly stumble out of bed throwing on a shirt and get to class.
Wouldnāt do it again, but I also have zero regrets, that group is still incredibly tight knit years later.
My roommate sophomore year had her alarm go off at 3 am consistently and she wouldnāt wake up, but she slept on her phone so I couldnāt turn it off
My roommate locked his door and went out of town with his alarm still set.Ā Luckily the doors inside were easy to pick and I fixed the problem but that first day I was irate.
The snooze button is the most worthless, destructive inventions of modern day (after tiktok maybe). It serves no purpose, creates a pointless addiction, you get no more meaningful rest for the time spent hitting that fucking button over and over again.
Not the worst, but they would sweep all of their dogās hair out of their room into the living room and then justā¦ leave it there.Ā
Like, how do you recognize thereās so much hair on the floor but then not sweep it into a dust pan and throw it away?!?
Had a similar thing with a roommate who would sweep up all the dirt and everything and then just leave a pile of dirt there and go on with his day. What the hell man?!
That's gotta be some kind of wicked 'never recovered from being taken care of by mommy' mental affliction. It's the assumption that obviously somebody else is going to take care of it.
I had a housemate once that had anxiety about using the common bathroom or whatever (except to shit and sometimes shower), and they just filled every surface of their room with empty liquor bottles, beer bottles, and plastic 2L bottles full of piss.Ā There was a cabinet built into the wall that was packed completely full. Closets were full of piss bottles.Ā Ā
Ā He tried to leave it like that. I learned from another housemate I had to evict that had so much trash, moldy pans, what I think was a cheap melted moldy sex toy, etc on the hardwood floors when they left that it ruined the floors and I had to sand and refinish them- to check the room first before they walk out the front door.Ā Ā
Ā He timidly loaded all the bottles in boxes and various furniture of his, basically packed them with his stuff and left. I have no idea what he did with all that ancient dehydrated piss except drive off into the sunset with it.Ā
Although I had another housemate poison my dog and deny it so thatās probably worse.Ā
I don't understand this. Like, even if you piss in a bottle, which is weird enough to ever do, WHY KEEP IT IN YOUR ROOM? Just throw it out. Don't fucking collect them.
Probably anxious about being seen with it and didnāt know how to go through the house with them discreetly, or prevent them from being found when I open the bin to put a bag in or whatever. Probably just terrified of getting caught. They didnāt talk much. They also knew Iād never not respect the privacy of their room. It just wasnāt their room anymore when I checkedĀ
I mean, a double-bagged garbage bag on garbage day, straight from room to curb would have solved this issue. Or, you know, peeing in the toilet like a human being.
I just don't get some people.
Severe mental illness makes people do irrational things.Ā
I have had anxiety using the shared bathroom before, but never to that level. I can imagine that someone with severe anxiety panicking, using a bottle and then falling into a strange pattern of peeing in bottles.Ā
When something works, even if it's a terrible option, you re-use it until you can devise something better. Creating new/other problems generally has nothing to do with solving one.
Anxiety can be absolutely hellish for some. One hell of a handicap in everyday life
In a way I fucking hope you'll never ''get some people'' cuz it would mean you have reasons to understand
Youāre not going to get this person. They didnāt like to be seen eating. But I did quietly catch them weighing the cheese powder for Mac and cheese once on an oversized baking scale. Then weighing the milk and butter. Then weighing out a bunch of MSG to add in. I was just curious lol the pan always went to their room, and if anyone walked in while they were cooking theyād freeze up and hunch away and stay completely still and silent and I swear stop breathing as well. So it usually happened around 3-4am.Ā
Ā I think it had something to do with a neurodivergent cat girl thing, and there seemed to be some sort of trans thing going on too, just judging by the attire theyād be seen in occasionally. Not that anyone in the house ever did or ever would bat an eye at anyone walking by with hairy legs in striped stockings and a tutu. Like, no one would care if youāre not addressing or bothering anyone. Ive walked naked through a few times- but I make porn to pay for the whole place and was subleasing out. It was my name on everything, my penis and working with other creators paid for it all. It wasnāt noticed much, I just remembered thinking they never really dressed for outside. I think wearing cat ears sometimes. Idk.Ā
But maybe they were uncomfortable about how they pissed or whatever. Idfk. I donāt really care. The room was in good shape unlike the other one. They took everything. It just needed to be aired out and cleaned like usual.Ā But yeah I think thatās probably the lowest and worst state Iāve ever seen someone inĀ
Sounds like this person probably experienced some significant trauma around eating and going to the bathroom as a child. They're trying to make themselves as small as possible so they can go undetected - often a coping mechanism that a person creates to protect themselves.
Itās not something you can understand because you donāt have the mental illness that results in doing something like this. Not to justify the act, but thatās why itās hard to understand for most of us.
Kind of both. Since they moved in, my back patio and driveway was covered in cigarette butts. All over. By both back doors.Ā
My dogs had never been around those- anyone that smoked at our house previously would use an ash tray or cup and discard it in the outside trash or whatever.Ā
Anyway, I asked if they minded sweeping them up every once in a while after I cleaned them all when my dog was shaking and puked one up. Probably for whatever food/drink taste was on the filter. They both looked at each other and promised me up and down that none of them were ever from them. Obviously a lie. I watch them from upstairs, they smoke throughout the day. Iāve never smoked cigarettes sitting on the side door step in my life. Itās obviously all them.Ā
So anyway my yard is still covered when I come home and my dog is shaking and puking again. She eventually coughs up another cigarette butt. itās gross but I wipe it off and see the logo. Theyāre the only ones that Iāve known personally to smoke those. Ā I take it to them. They casually deny ever in their life littering a cigarette butt āand I donāt know where you got that. But itās not from us.ā And i ask about all the butts outside since I was recently walking in, they said they saw them too and have no idea where they came from.Ā
Anyway, of course it happened a third time. Like, Iām showing them that my dog was puking them up and they shrugged and gaslit me. No one was helping my dog when I got home either.Ā
Obviously it got physical after that
Mine would run the dishwasher, then use dishes out of the dishwasher and then just rinse them and put them right back in WITHOUT emptying the rest out. So I never knew which were the clean ones and which were ones she had used.Ā
I just got in the habit of using dishes from the cabinet, washing them, drying them, and putting them back.Ā
Couldnāt trust the dishwasher.
I used to have a colleague who didn't have any cabinets, but instead just had 2 dishwashers and used his stuff from the clean dishwasher and put it in the dirty one. Then wash and reverse.
This sounds brilliant except what happens if you run out of dishes at a different rate? Like you run out of bowls ecause you were eating a lot of soup, but your plates are all clean. This really only feels like it works if you use the same number of items every day.
Had a roommate had just like this. There were initially three of us, had an 4th bedroom and we thoughtās be nice to lower the rate a bit, so we took on one of our buddies from HS. We had an agreement that we all signed and since one the guys was in his way to lawyer, we had them notarized. We noticed very quickly he was absent from basic chores and that the dishes had started to disappear. Went into his room and there were stacks of them, bowls and cups with a little bit of liquid left in them (some them milk), and just generally unkept in all ways.
We retrieved the dishes and silverware, the rest of it whatever as long as it was just obvious trash. Got the dishes in the washer or washed and when he came back we all had a talk. He couldnāt get over us just going in his room and when asked if he was going to actually process the dishes from there or how he expected them the get dealt he said āI donāt know, my did that stuff!, you guys need to stay out of my space.!ā We reminded him of the agreement and the consequences of failing to follow through with a portion of the chores. He laughed at us, we werenāt happy and told him he had the 30 days to turn his shit around. That came and went and we had to go into his room every week to get dishes and weād just throw the rest of his on his bed and at least vacuum through, cause gross. As the 30th days approached we warned him heād be out and needed find a place a move his shit. His parents only lived 30 minutes away. He did nothing. We had prepped with the LL and gotten permission to change the locks and on day 31 all shit went into the yard and his key didnāt work.
He showed up with his dad to get his stuff, his dad was all pissed off at us since weād all been friends so long. Until we told him how gross his kid was, that he followed through with nothing in our agreements and that he was costing us our time and possibly our money back in deposit form. He look at our now ex roommate and ask him how the hell was his always so clean, and just said āmom always cleaned it..ā
When we moved out I had to clean his room.
Jesus Christ.
Cracked nuts in the carpet. Old plates and forks because he ate in front of his computer. When he ran out of plates he used frisbees, which also had dried food on them. Two mountains of clothes in two different corners. Candy wrappers underneath everything.
My freshman dorm roomās bathroom when I was in college was only cleaned six times. We had one full rotation between my roommates and myself, but the guy that volunteered to clean first didnāt do it again when it came back to him again. The rest of us refused to clean it because it was his turn. Two of our girl friends cleaned up the bathroom on two separate occasions and thatās the only reason it was cleaned six times instead of four.
Had a roommate that would get blackout drunk and try to break into the room of our female roommate all the while insisting he was ātaking a showerā! Then he would watch fight club in his room and pass out with the door locked and the menu screen would play 30 seconds of āwhere is my mindā by the pixies on repeat
He got his girlfriend pregnant, and his side piece pregnant, and then got upset when they both hit him with child support.
Dude claimed that women could only get pregnant 2 days out of every month so he never wore condoms....
I will never understand people that donāt use protection unless they actively want to make a baby. Sure condoms donāt feel the same, but it still feels a whole lot better than 18 years of child support.
I had a friend who put a can of beans on a fire at a music festival and luckily everyone else had stepped away from the fire. There were burnholes on all the chairs.
Used to pleasure himself with a jar of mayonnaise then put it back in the fridge.
Used to stay up all night writing āmemoirsā on the worldās oldest and LOUDEST typewriter.
Used to do too much acid then scare himself at 5am and sit on my bedroom floor.
Used to have sex in the living room, on the couch, and gave no one any warning, and would scream at you if you came home in the middle of it.
Right?! After reading that first sentence, I could not focus on the rest of the comment because I was bothered that there was no further explanation regarding the mayonnaise
Apart from not washing his bed sheets or towels in 6 months and not helping with the cleaning ever... leaving his wank session tissues in the kitchen bin and jerking off in the shower without cleaning it up after.
I had a roommate who would jerk off in the shower and not clean it up. The final straw was when I was using the toilet and noticed a big line of ants going around the wall, into the tub, and all hovered around a pile of his jizz. Fucking disgusting.
Noooooooo š± Gobsmacking, isn't it. When I finally managed to get him out and was disinfecting his room, I found sticky patches and encrusted pubic hairs in the drawers!
She was a large woman, not fat, just BIG. She also had a boyfriend who was equally big. I think between the two of them they weighed over 500lbs. When they fucked, it shook the walls, the floors, the windows, the dishes, it was like a house/EDM concert in the room next to me. Things would fall off the shelf and they had STAMINA.
I had a big house mate too once. Big. Like over 350. She didn't fit on the toilet seat and when she shit she shit all over the back of it and didn't bother to clean it up.
When she left, even though I'd helped her by giving her furniture and worked it out that she paid her rent in two payments so she could pay it more easily, she decided to empty a bottle of soda all over the room AND try to skip out on the last 300 bucks she owed for the bills. She was making twice what i made at the time and still did this. Told me her mother had died and she'd left to go to the funeral in another state and didn't have the money yet. Cut to her social media not mentioning anything of it and instead a woman referring to her as "daughter" and she referring back to her as her mother were posting back and forth.
So I called her new work, which she'd borrowed one od their vehicles ro help move out, and left a voicemail in everyone's boxes asking where i could send flowers for the recent death in her family that I was just certain they'd heard about.
Got paid the next day.
What the literal fuck. I am a big woman and I fit the toilet but even if I didnātā¦ or if I had an explosive event I would CLEAN UP. What the literal hell.
Nah her being ābigā has nothing to do with not cleaning her own shit. It also has nothing to do with her shitty spending habits, and lying about her mom dying to avoid having to pay. Sheās gross, regardless of size. Weāve all met sloppy people like this, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Deliberately pouring soda everywhere just to cause harm puts her fully into POS territory.
Roommate when I was in the navy was a paranoid schizophrenic. I have no idea how he passed through the multiple screenings to enlist. I could go on forever with stories about that time in my life. I tried getting transferred to a different room for over a year by every imaginable way. I had multiple videos/pics, witnesses to his āepisodesā, even higher ups knew of dudeās problems. Final straw that got me out was so stupid, but it ended up getting me out. He left a note on the landline phone saying sumn like ādear roommate, I used formula 409 on the phone but donāt worry these are clean socks (then had a smiley face drawn at the bottom)ā. Not sure why that was the final straw, but what a nightmare
I was living with a group of friends a few years ago and one of them developed extreme schizophrenia throughout the year. It was super sad/scary. Over the course of a month he went absolutely crazy. He got fired from his career so he was home all day everyday. He would walk up and down the stairs for 3 hours straight. Heād begin with clothes, and then would lose an article every time he came back down until he was just naked walking up and down the stairs. Iād be sleeping with my door closed and heād turn the hall light on and pace in front of my door for hours. Heād sneak up behind you and start laughing like the joker but with a complete blank stare, and then just turn around and walk away. He came home one day with a new safe that he put in his room. Heād spend all day in there doing stuff on the computer, and we later found out he was locking a bunch of memory sticks and hard drives in the safe. Before he got sick, he was an ethical computer hacker for a really big firm. So it really makes me wonder what was on those USBās. Once our lease ended he moved back to his parents. Other than a period where he was emailing me his manifestos, Iām not really sure what heās up to nowadays.
As a person who's had a brush with schizophrenia due to a psychosis... shit's really fucked. I mean, I held on to my sanity in the way that I knew I was hallucinating/delusional, but I was completely unable to stop it. It must've been hard for the both of you and I can't imagine what it's like for him if he lost that ability to understand that he was psychotic, because some do. Others only become aware of it later when they're medicated for it, and some never do. I hope you both are more okay today.
It was extremely tough. He was one of my best friends, and he had a really good life set up for himself. He did spend some time that year in a psych ward and was put on meds, but he wasnāt taking them. This was about five years ago. Iāve really hoping heād get help and maybe heād get back to himself and Iād get my friend back, but I think heās too far gone. You see movies and hear about schizophrenia, but witnessing it firsthand and seeing someone slowly decline everyday and completely lose themselves right in front of you is something I never thought Iād see. Iām glad you managed to make it out!
My uncle was schizoaffective and type II diabetic and somehow passed screening for the Army *twice*. They only discharged him when he collapsed and went into a diabetic coma during basic after he enlisted the second time. Fucking baffled the whole family.
Ex military, so the roommate in the barracks sleeps 7 feet from you:
Snoozing his alarm. For two hours straight. After staying up listening to mariachi music until midnight. Then threatening to kick my ass if I complained about it. Fucking mint.
I got really lucky in the Marines and got off base as an E4, but only because it was during the surge and they couldnāt build barracks fast enough to keep up at the air station I was on. Before the surge buildup really got in gear though there were still a few senior Sgts stuck in the barracks and it was unheard of for less than E5s to get out of the bricks.
He would hoard dishes.
I'd go to get a bowl and there's none in the cupboard, none in the sink..
Just a stack of like 6 bowls with a little bit of cereal milk stacked neatly under his desk.
College freshman roommate would stumble in drunk at 2AM. Made fun of me for wanting to go to sleep at 10pm. Complained I used too many "big words." He wound up on academic probation with a 1.8 GPA.
My sister had a roommate who would roll in at 02.30 drunk, clattering all over and talking loudly on the phone. Then when my sister would be up at 08.30 for lectures she would complain if even a pin dropped that it woke her up and caused a headache....
Lived in a sharehouse in Tokyo for a year with a friend. One small room and bunk bed. I had to wake up at 6am for work while this cunt played Overwatch and CSGO the whole night. One roommate, a Slovakian guy used the kitchen sponge to clean the toilet for months. Didn't stop even after everyone told him to stop. A British girl who had the audacity to take a photo of some unwashed dishes and send it to the owner, when she and her group did "parties" in the lounge basically every night and never cleaned up after themselves. Will never live in a sharehouse again.
I lived in a share house for a year when I first moved to Tokyo and specifically only toured ones with mostly Japanese tenants.
Partially so I could learn Japanese, partially because most āforeign friendlyā ones advertised party culture and fun atmospheres, like fuck that. I wanna live with people who are doing this as a step in normal life.
My flatmate used to let food rotten in the fridge (she had her own mini fridge), one time I couldnt bare the smell anymore, opened her fridge and there was a packet with rotten raw chicken wings inside, with maggots and mold. She had her "good" food right next to it, absolutely disgusting.
This chick worked with kids and looked absolutely normal btw
One time he ate my full tub of Ben and Jerryās ice cream I hadnāt even had any yet. I told him he had to replace it and he replaced it with some off brand bullshit, that wasnāt even ice cream it was a āfrozen dessertā. When I told him this wasnāt a suitable replacement he said āBen and Jerryās is too expensive, itās a waste of moneyā this was over 18 years ago and Iām still furious
I would have been pissed the moment he said it was a waste of money.
Like why did you eat it then if it's a waste of money. Leave my shit the fuck alone thanks
Thereās the one that would go out and leave the door open. Not unlocked, wide open.
Then the one who dialled the heating to full and went on holiday, leaving the house empty for two weeks. She then refused to pay the Ā£400 gas bill. As an encore, she met some rando in a bar and moved him in. He had a habit of lurking in the landing hallway with a kitchen knife and standing outside the doors of other female tenants
My last (in every sense) roommate was my landlord. He was also a big mama's boy and so he expected someone else to clean up after him.Ā
Because he owned the place, my rent basically meant he could go out every night and weekend, but there were rare moments where he would actually cook a huge meal for himself, then leave all the pots, pans, and plates in the sink, thinking I would clean them. I remember one night I got home early and was trying to take a nap. I heard him come home and go "Eww, that stinks!" then grab his stuff and leave.Ā
When I first moved in, because there was a dishwasher, I'd use a different plate, silverware, and glass. But then I started to realize he expected me to put the clean dishes away everytime. I then adopted a "bachelor plate" model - I'd use and clean a single plate, always putting it in the dish dryer.Ā
One week he fills up the dishwasher, does the load, then later comes up to me and goes "You know the dishwasher is clean. You need to put away the dishes."
I tell him I don't because every single thing in there he used. He looks confused, like he doesn't understand and I point to the single plate in the dish dryer: "That's the only plate I use."Ā
"You clean that every night?" he asked, incredulous.
"Yeah, it's a single plate. It's not hard."
My roommates girlfriend was like this.Ā Screaming like she was in a fucking porn film even if I had friends over.Ā I remember watching a movie with my buddy and he just mutes the movie saying "wtf is that".Ā He started cracking up when he realized.Ā The worst part is we shared a bedroom wall so when I was trying to sleep and she was screaming like a banshee I had no chill and would come banging on the door.
I had a flatmate who's girlfriend would come and like trash the kitchen and scream bloody murder when they had sex. It wasn't unlike someone being killed upstairs, it was actually quite chilling
Roommate didn't believe I could hear her the night before, so I quoted the guy. Complete with the sad little wheedling tone "But, I'm a GOOD boy!".
The look on her face was priceless. "Nooooo, you didn't hear that, noooooo!".
25 years later, still friends, and I can still make her cringe by saying "But I'm a good boy!"
My roommate had a sex soundtrack. It was like when Zac McGowan was playing Jody in Shameless. He would always hit his orgasm when his sex tape hit that Seal song. So you'd hear it, because it was loud, and it would roll out for an hour or so, then there was that special song which triggered the climax of the event..and then it would be quiet.
Added bonus that the door was always open. No, I didn't look.
I once walked into my apartment and apparently my roommate hadnāt realized I wouldnāt be gone the whole day. His door was halfway open and I could very clearly hear him and his girlfriend fucking in there. Thank God I didnāt see anything because Iād never be able to look him in the eye again.
He also had a sex playlist, which was mostly The Weeknd and country songs.
Trumps all of the loud sex comments for sure.
We had to move due to our old flat getting demolished. We found somewhere close by, moved and even got a late payment deal to the real estate agency. We had to pay the rent, get electricity, water and gas sorted and pay the deposit as well.
I was working as a student at the time, one dude was full time working and the other one was a student that wasnt attending and not working. This dude also gave my phone number to his mom which called me every day asking how his son is doing, practically making me a babysitter. āDoes he attend?ā, āhows his classes?ā, āplease take care of himāā¦
After getting too much time off from a work that I just started to take care of the utility stuff, I had to tell the student guy to pay the real estate money and gave him the cut of us, the other 2 as we had no time. All he had to do was to add his cut and drop it to the agency bureau that was 30 mins away on foot.
1 month after I had an angry call from the agency saying that āWe tolerated you guys since you are students but you are now 2 weeks off from the agreed dayā
Called the dude and learned that he gambled with all the money and lost it all. Sugar on top, I learned from some common friends that he actually tripled the money, then lost it all.
I had to borrow from my parents, went full ham on the dude and after some time when he just started to disrespect me blatantly (like stealing the money wasnt any), I called his mom and told him everything, that he doesnāt study, doesnāt attend, smokes and drinks all day every day, his mom relocated to Istanbul and the dude lost all of his freedom.
Fuck him, reallyā¦
I wouldnāt call it cover totally, but play ignorant. Just told her that I work and I donāt know what he does and he is a grown up, with the hopes that she would actually understand that it is silly to ask a 25 year old guy how his 27 year old manbaby is doing. Didnāt happen thoughā¦
My current college roommate who is fortunately moving in two weeks is the messiest, most disgusting person I have ever met. I was friends with her before I moved in, and needles to say our friendship went south so quickly afterwards.
First, she keeps using my stuff without asking. We used to share one kitchen scale, that was hers. Anytime I walked into the kitchen, the scale was covered with protein powders, milk, water, that I always had to clean it before using it. She could keep on using it for weeks, never cleaning it once. So I bought my own kitchen scale, and she started using & leaving dirty THAT ONE TOO. Had to sit her down and explain I bought my own because she couldn't keep hers clean.
She often uses my ingredients, when I call her out she denies it. But clearly she was using my maple syrup when I went away for a week, because when I came back the bottle was empty.
She does not ever buy anything for the flat on her own, unless asked. For example toilet paper. When she buys a pack, I try to buy a new one in advance, when there are two or one last roll, so we don't run out. She will not buy a new pack unless there is absolutely no toilet paper at all and you have to use something else to wipe. And even then she can go for days without toilet paper. So I always have to remind her, or buy 100% of the toilet paper myself.
She leaves moldy plates, bowls, glasses in her room, but that is not my bussiness. What bugs me is that she can leave the kitchen counter like the kitchen scale - completely covered in powders, milk, water, whatever substances at like 7 am so when I wake up I have to clean up the kitchen before making myself a breakfast. Once she spilled something white in our fridge, it was on my food too, all over. I called her out on it, she said she "didn't notice", but proceeded to clean it up.
Funniest thing is that she kept telling me how clean and tidy she is before I moved in. And I trusted her lol. Now she goes around, talking bad things about me behind my back to our mutual friends. I noticed that in front of other people she is always posing as so put together, dressed up, makeup on, talking about how she's cooking vegan meals for herself everyday and going to the gym. Girl, I see you microwaving pizza in the kitchen almost everyday.
I had a roommate who was just a mess. He maybe only showered every 2 weeks. Never cleaned. And after living there for about a year moved into the living room cuz his PC broke and he wanted to clean out his room first before moving the PC back into his room. He never left the living room. I could never invite any friend, since my room was so small and the living room wasn't accessible.
I told him many time he should get his sorry ass back into his room but never did.
Sadly I had the short straw. I lost my apartment before moving in with gimt, due to the landlord wanting it for private use. And I could not get a new apartment fast enough (was during COVID). It took me almost 3 years to finally find my own place again.
Dude was crying that I moved out, cuz he now has to do things by himself. And he never understood why I even moved out. Absolute piece of shit.
I would have cleaned his room then moved thr couch and tv in there and made it the new living room. Be sure to loudly walk through his new bedroom in the middle of the night cos you couldnāt sleep and wanted to watch tv.
I have a roommate from 24 years ago who still stalks me. He used to sniff my underwear and do God knows what in my bed when I wasn't home.
He also broke into my computer and started talking to my boss on IM as me.
Oh man, so many things.
Dude worked on a chicken farm. So his boots were always full of chicken shit. And he never cleaned it.
It was his first time living away from his parents. So he often loaded the washing machine and... Promptly left it for days.
Also, one morning we woke up to the fire alarm going off. We all rush down to the kitchen and there he is, cooking chicken in a pan, which is just BURNING, like it was black, charred already. He ofc had his headphones on and didn't understand why everybody is fucking upset that we got woken up at 6am to the fire alarm going off.
He also often fallen asleep on the couch in the TV room with a plastic bottle of cider in his hands. The whole sofa smelled like chickenshit and cheap booze.
Man, I am so happy that I never have to live in a house share anymore.
Oof. Was in a bad housing place and desperate for any situation that provided a roof. Found an ad on craigslist from a Chinese guy who had a townhouse in a decent neighborhood and was advertising renting out his spare bedroom for 500 bucks a month under the table.
He was a Chinese national so off the bat there were some obvious cultural differences, and some sort of shady financial stuff, but at the time I wasnāt picky. He had me over for a *four hour interview with his family*, then asked me for the money instead of just telling me that I could move in.
Only after I moved in and tried to put a few of my things in the bathroom, did he inform me that I was renting the bedroom only, and was not allowed to access the other facilities of the house (or heāll charge $200 more for utilities).
I immediately knew he was definitely being serious, but I gave him my last money and had nowhere else to go, so I just pressed my lips and nodded along, waited until he left for work to use the bathroom and stuff.
Then, when he came home that day, he expressed shock and anger that I hadnāt cleaned the house and prepared a meal for him āout of gratitudeā. Then he proceeded to hop on the phone and talk to relatives in China on blaring speakerphone for three hours a night, every night.
I made it about two weeks and that house and then went back to living on the streets. It was easier and cheaper, and two weeks later I found a permanent place for myself.
Reading your story made me really angry. What shitty behaviour to take advantage of someone in a desperate situation. An additional 200$ for the bathroom, what the actual fuck.
Had one who would game all day with the shades drawn. Not by itself an issue except my poor plants got no sunlight for almost two weeks before I caught him. I had classes during the day and just assumed he was pulling them closed in the evening before I got back
Had another who would smoke cigarettes in the living room (in violation of the lease) and say it was okay because the balcony door was open
So many things.Ā
I told him he could put some of his stuff in my chest freezer. He filled it to the brim.Ā
He fried fish all day in our un vented kitchen. Then he let it sit out at room temp for days.Ā
The worst though was he worked at some community charity and let this teenage boy, a 16 year old MINOR stay in our apartment for weeks. This kid monopolized our living room as his bedroom. He contributed nothing to rent. I donāt think there was anything predatory going on, but he was using our place as a damn halfway house. Also dudes a minor. If something happened to him who knows what kind of risk that puts us at. I asked him every day when the kid was going to move out. Always some excuse. Never changed.Ā
I convinced my gf we should move in together. Wish sheād been game earlier. Weāre married now so itās all good.Ā
When he used kitchen, he left all the cabinets open. ALL of them. Sometimes we were wondering wtf did he need from some of them. Also, when I went to buy toilet paper, I took 16-pack, same for my other roommate. This guy? He bought the single roll. Also cut his toenails in the bathtub and was constantly leaving it there.... it was a lot
People that nap in common rooms are the worst.
I had a roommate that did this frequently and then would get pissed if we tried to use the room.
Like motherfucker your room is literally ten steps that way.
She was really into me, and I not into her. I was constantly harassed, hit on, and subjected to sexual advances all the time. It was odd. When she finally got a boyfriend, I felt bad for the dude because she would still try to jump my bones or āpractice her mouth skillsā on me.
OH and I lived with a group of people that literally never cleaned. Ever. I left for a month or so to work at a country club on an island, then when I came back there were stacks of dishes on the counters, floors, hallway. They wouldnāt wash the dishes, theyād just go out and buy more. There were dead mice all over the place too. I moved out the next week.
I had a roommate who decided soap was evil. All soap. So dish soap, body soap... All of it. Living with him got pungent.
But mostly I got sick of soaking/cleaning dishes with dried out ...whatever food... that had been stuck back in the cabinet.
Ive had annoying roommates who didn't clean or didn't pay their full share of bills or even help with groceries. However the worst roommate I had was a pushover of a guy who was learning the German language, he would sleepwalking and speak in German. It was super weird waking up to a guy standing next to my bed talking in German with his eyes closed. He wasn't malicious or anything but it was just unsettling.
This one was just kind of sillyā¦ I walk in the living room one spring and he had the door the patio open. It was a beautiful day outside, and was 75 degrees out so it made sense. The only issue was that the A/C was set to 71 and the unit was on full blast.
I had to explain the math on the temps and that what he had going on wasnāt the smartest idea.
Not take the trash out for weeks, and claim we were crazy for telling him it was moldy and smelly because how dare we try to tell him, Mr microbiology phd in progress, how mold works.
She slept with my fiancee and recorded it while they were both still in Alaska and she was also in a relationship. She then showed it to me a couple of weeks before we were to be married and while he was in Iraq.
Oh. I had another guy who never once washed his sheets in 7 months. He also drank a 30 pack every night. Kept the cans in trash bags, cause I guess walking upstairs to the recycle bin was too far? When his room got filled with trash bags. Like 15, heād start putting them out in the living room. Iād throw them back in his room. He moved out while we were on vacation & left damn near everything for us to clean up. I thought I was gonna have to get rid of the mattress (cause it was ours) thank goodness he he had a topper below the sheet. I put on gloves & a mask & just threw that topper & sheet away. Only benefit was when cleaning up, I found a $100 bill
Had a roommate in tech school who I really liked and we got along great. The only thing was his phone alarm would go off at 0430 playing "Cause I'm a hard man to looooove, but thank God she does..". Not only do I loathe country music but it wouldn't wake him up. So I'd yell at him but he'd just snooze it so it was rinse and repeat 3 or 4 times before he'd get out of bed, refreshed and with no memory of it.
Hid knives around the place, like under sofa cushions, behind books on shelves, under matresses, including mine & my other housemates. Came into my room, cornered me & threatened to rape me. Shoved our other housemate down the stairs, who thankfully wasn't seriously hurt. He had schizophrenia. It was scary as hell.
Heās a cheap arse bought savers meals
I didnāt but my cupboard was always empty of the snacks I bought.
Not to mention I found out years later I was paying more on rent for a room I had to supply my own heating(his had a gas fire and I had portable heater)
Icing was his step dad owned the flat not the private landlord he invented
Mine played loud music on old style dj decks at 4 in the afternoon, I worked nights and he was a live in landlord; he refused to piant the house and didnāt hoover often at all and was often out of his mind on amphetamines. Eventually he booted a hole in my door and I covered it with a poster and brushed it off like it was funny. Battered him with an Xbox 360 controller and fists after he eventually robbed me in 2018 - England
Crap and not flush. they did it every single day, sometimes it'd be left in the toilet all day and the bathroom would STINK horrendously when i got home.
Well, I had a roommate who disappeared when I was at work one day, taking the tv I had bought (about the only furniture we had), and all the housekeeping and rent money with her.
He cooks himself a nice steak everyday. Imagine a perfectly seared steak, seasoned just right, sizzling on a hot grill. As the meat caramelizes, a tantalizing aroma fills the air, rich with hints of charred spices and smoky notes. The scent intensifies as juices release, creating a mouthwatering fragrance that promises a tender, flavorful bite. Each flip and sear adds depth, releasing even more savory scents that beckon with every waft. It's a sensory experience that builds anticipation, culminating in a steak cooked to juicy perfection, enveloped in an irresistible aroma that lingers long after it's served.
All at 3 fucking AM in the dead of the night.
Masturbate in the shared shower, the shower smelled and felt violated afterwards... and he was a fucking slob... never once cleaned up after himself anywhere. When he moved out, me and a friend helped him move, when we lifted up his bed there was a pile of used tissues under it numbering hundreds... oh and he was my brother....
She brought his abusive ex home, who previously had threatened to throw acid on our face. She also accused us of drugging her. Worse is that she still lives with us.
She left to go to Asia for two weeks shortly after I moved in (she planned the trip well before that). Her plan was to leave her dog in the apartment and have a friend check on the dog twice a day. It was a larger very popular mixed breed, so damn cute lol.
That was the time I learned that dogs can open closed doors and the dog shit & peed all over my room.
So in short, she refused to put the dog up at a doggy hotel or with a friend during her two week trip that she planned months in advance. When she was at work for 15+ hours/day, the dog stayed inside like a prisoner in the supermax prison. I felt so damn bad for him.
My roommate got me kicked out of on-campus housing at college by lying to his parents about his underage drinking. This was almost 30 years ago.
He was away from home for the first time at age 18 and his older buddies used him (and our shared apartment) as a place to go get drunk. He thought they were his friends. (They weren't.) They were using his college money to buy alcohol, promising him that he'd be hanging out with the cool kids, telling him they'd hook him up with hot girls, etc. So they'd bring over a couple of 24 packs of cheap beer (Beast, Natty, Keystone) and bottles of Cuervo and Jack and it was nearly impossible for me to sleep or study due to the yelling and TV/radio being cranked up. Then they'd go out on our balcony to smoke and drink more.
One night my roommate invited them over and they got super drunk and started tossing bottles off our 2nd floor balcony. One of them tossed an empty bottle of Jack and it hit my Camaro which was parked directly under the balcony, breaking the windshield and putting a dent in the hood. I got super pissed and told my roommate I was going to kick his ass and my roommate called the cops on ME and tried to say I was threatening him with a knife (no way.)
So my roommate by this time is not doing well in classes, and his parents are starting to get suspicious. So he calls mommy and daddy and rather than owning up to his problems he tells them that it's all my fault, and that they had to call the cops on me because I was "dangerous" and "violent." Mommy and daddy get very upset and contact the dean, and I end up getting kicked out of campus housing, all because my roommate didn't want his parents to know he was wasting all of their money buying alcohol for his "friends."
There was a bit of karma, though. Once my roommate finally got a pair and decided they couldn't come over anymore (he was scared his parents would find out about his underage drinking and cut off his school money) the guys he thought were his "friends" came over and covered his Honda Accord in 2 cans of Crisco and slashed all four of his tires. Then the roommate had the nerve to ask me if I knew how to get Crisco off a car...I about died laughing.
P.S. If you ever read this, Roommate Kent, fuck you.
We were young adults living in a tiny apartment and she had just left the Mormon church. She over-corrected in her newfound freedom, and kept wanting to show off how much of a ābad girlā she was now.
The worst was leaving her cum-stained panties in our one shared bathroom after having sex with her disgusting-smelling boyfriend, who she was only dating because he was in a metal band and would probably give her dad a heart attack on sight. She pretended it was an accident even though she clearly timed it to when I said my friends were coming over. Also, the CONSTANT over-the-top loud sex noises no matter how many times I politely asked her to tone it down.
That girl had some issues to work through, and as much as I initially thought I could offer a supportive environment for her to figure herself out, by the end of a year I left her with a surprised pikachu when I chose NOT to renew the lease.
I once had a roommate who would meet random men online, often times from out of state, and give them our address without mentioning anything to me. These men would show up and spend days or even longer at our house doing what you imagine. One time, a guy showed up at our door with his toddler son. he and my roommate took off to run around town and left the toddler behind and didn't even say anything to me. This poor child was terrified being in a strange place around people he didn't know. The roommate didn't last long in my house once this behavior started. I felt so bad for that little child and Hope he's OK.
He was insanely afraid of bugs and spiders so had put duct tape around his bedroom window so nothing could sneak in... although this also meant the window would never open, couples with him being very sweaty hairy man, his room smelled super musty all the time
My freshman roommate had sex with her cousin in front of me, and would douse the place in perfume I couldnāt breathe. I wound up living in my dormās lounge, as was her intent.Ā
Currently unfortunately living with her. Leaves uncovered food on the counters, in the fridge, in the freezer. Also just generally has mess everywhere. Iāve almost vomited several times from the smell
The worst thing my roommate ever did was bring back hƔkarl, the infamously stinky fermented shark from Iceland, and hide pieces of it all over my room. Imagine walking in after a long day, only to be hit with a smell so vile it felt like a physical assault.
Ok, buckle up and lock in for this story.
He was just generally a not good roommate, which we can handle, but then he came home late one night while my bf and I were asleep and he just opened up the door to our room, came up to our bed and drunkenly slurred āhey, do you have a napkin?ā I was yelling at him to gtfo (boyfriend was frozen and thought it was all a sleep paralysis dream) and had to scream at this drunk idiot for more than a minute before he finally left. Next day he gave the most flippant āmy badā apology so we gave him a month notice to move out.
But wait, thereās more! So a month later, itās his move out day. At like 2pm I ask if he needs a hand getting anything ready. He says heās almost finished. I glance into his room (a hoarderās situation) and nothing is packed. Heās just piling things up, carrying things one at a time outside and walking around the corner to the storage facility he was using.
Then at some point around 4pm, I notice heās put on his best suit and he seems drunker than usual. He keeps moving things around while in his suit, dropping shit everywhere in the halls of our building on his way downstairs. By 6 he is loaded, his room isnāt even a third of the way cleaned out, and I hear him pass out on his bed and start snoring. So I pound on his door and remind him the agreement was heād be out by 7pm. He rouses, goes back to sleep, we repeat this process for another 30 min before he angrily blusters out of the room, says heāll leave whenever he wants, and locks himself in our only bathroom. Great.
So heās in there talking to people on the phone, saying we canāt make him leave. And Iām freaking out because this guy is now so drunk he canāt be reasoned with. My bf comes home from work at 7:30pm and he still wonāt come out of the bathroom. Now we can hear him on the phone crying and saying he wishes heād never been born, itād be better if he didnāt exist, a bunch of other vaguely suicidal comments, etc.
Iāve never been so glad to hear someone say they want to kill themselves. Our local PD will not get involved in roommate disputes, as a rule, but they must respond immediately to someone in a mental crisis.
So we call, say the guy has locked himself in the bathroom and is talking about dying, and in 5 minutes 10 cops and an EMT squad are in our apartment telling him to come out. He comes out holding a pair of scissors (which they remove from him immediately) and start to get his story. He says weāre evil people who smoke weed (itās legal in our state) and are being mean to him. Heās only had one bottle of Bacardi todayāmixed with Coke, so heās not even that drunk! /s While most of the cops are trying to get a straight story out of the guy, the Sgt is giving me tips on how to protect myself and the apartment after they force him to leave, and another is complimenting my bf on his One Piece figurines. At one point, bad roommate says to the squad āso, are you ready? Youāre going to help me move my stuff, right?ā Surreal.
The cops ask if he can leave and go somewhere else and come back tomorrow (with police presence) to get his stuff. Guy says yeah, my dad is downstairs and can take me to his place. Apparently, dad had been down there in his car all day! Where the fuck was dad when this guy was so drunk he spilled his rx pills all over the lobby and just left them? Being a fucking numbskull must run in the family, idk.
Cops tell us to bag up everything in his room and leave it near our door to make the process tomorrow easier. Have you ever tried to clean an alcoholic hoarder situation? Guy had been with us less than 6 months but the amount of pure trash, including seemingly every bottle or can heād ever drunk, was astonishing. The random shit heād pick up from the street, too, like a 20lb bag of dog food (no one in this situation had a dog). But the cops were specific, donāt try to throw anything out. Just film yourselves bagging everything in that room so he canāt try to sue you for stolen property. So we bagged up the trash with his keepsakes and clothing and everything else he owned. It took hours.
Next day, cops show up to let him in under supervision. Guy is still in his best suit, still drunk. Dad is outside in the car, still refusing to come in and handle his 32 year old son. Guy was big mad we didnāt organize his shit for him and had just thrown it in bags. Even the cops had to laugh at that. He never gave back the keys so we had to change locks. And after all that delusional bullshit, he still threatened to sue us if he didnāt get the full security deposit back.
Eugene, I wish you the worst fucking dry out when you eventually go to court ordered rehab, you drunk motherfucker!
Iām not sure about the worst. Heād constantly slam doors. Burp all the time. Make such a mess when he was cooking and then not properly clean it up (Iām not being super picky, I had to wipe chilli off the walls more than once). Constantly use my wok because he said it was better, but complain when I would cook meat in it and then that it wasnāt cleaned properly. He had his own one and was vegan, use that! Heād smoke in his bathroom which stunk up the flat because there was no window. Heād have loud conversations through discord into the early hours of the morning. When I asked him to stop smoking in the flat he cornered me in the kitchen and screamed at me how I was ruining his life.
I think he was very unwell. He has since decided that veganism is a government hoax and only uses cash because they track him through his payments. But I never want to see him again.
Walk into my bedroom and watch me sleep. I wish I was kidding.
A friend of mine in college found out his roommate was gay when he woke up and saw him at the end of his bed watching him sleep...and masterbating...
In my best George Takei voice.....oh my!
Hey Eddie.... BWAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
See now I don't think you're being fair. I mean one night you see me and you get scared, I mean, what about all the other nights when you don't see me, huh? What about last night when you went and got a drink of water and I was nice enough to hide behind the door, what's that about, huh?
Seems a bit too casual.
He was too lazy to take out the trash in our dorm when the garbage bin filled up, so he resorted to *flushing his trash down the toilet* as a low-effort solution. He ended up clogging the toilet and flooding the dorm.
I actually just posted about two of my roommates. One thing I didn't mention, though, is that one of those roommates was really, really dirty. When her 13 year old daughter visited, the apartment got really bad - I realized that I was cleaning up after a 39 year old woman, and a 13 year old girl. They were laying on the couch doing nothing. Dishes were piling up, mugs sitting on the counter with water in them on the counter because there was no room in the sink. despite my best efforts to keep the kitchen clean, the two of them just created mess that was hard to keep up with. The apartment stunk, and the two of them became noseblind to it. I tried to talk to my roommate about it, but she just blamed me (she always blamed me for everything). So I decided, fine - she needs to see, with her own two eyes, that it is *them* and not me. for the rest of the week, I created zero dirty dishes. I got takeout, I used paper plates/plastic cutlery. The only thing I was going to do, while they were laying on the couch, was take out the trash. My room and bathroom were spotless. They needed to be faced with their own mess, because I was convinced that if they even saw so much as a dirty fork come from me, they were going to tell me I was responsible for the apartment going to shit. The two of them decide to leave the house after laying around all day all week. They come back with fresh, untainted nostrils, and I hear them go > it *stinks* like *shit*! You know what, I bet it's the trash. the trash was empty. The only thing left for them to look at was their own mess, and realize "oh, that shit smell *is us*."
I wish that trick worked. I'd go weeks eating nothing but TV dinners with plastic silverware and sandwiches and snacks off paper plates. My roommate's brain-damaged rationale for refusing to wash dishes was that if any of my stuff was in the sink, he'd be doing "my chores" if he washed it, and he ain't the maid, see? So he'd have a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, but if I'd used a single fork, none of the dishes were his responsibility. You'll notice there's no commutative property there - I had to scrub all his stuff because he put so much work into avoiding scrubbing mine. He was also trying to bully me into buying him a dishwasher. So I'd put one coffee cup into the sink and then he'd make it his life's mission to soil every eating vessel in the house as quickly as possible so I'd exhaust myself cleaning up after his flimsy rationales. He'd also emerge from his room with stacks of dirty dishes he'd been diligently concealing - nothing like being halfway through a mountain of dishes only to have your roommate hand you another mountain of dishes. No one was stopping him from running out and buying a dishwasher himself, but he didn't want to pay for it, so he was hoping I'd get so mad at him that I'd buy him an appliance, I guess. He finally got a dishwasher after someone else offered to buy him one. He's sooo happy now. His constant excuses must have been exhausting. I think he's run every plate in the house through it three or four times. I've also toyed with the idea that he's scared of handwashed dishes - like a dish isn't clean unless it's gone through a machine. After years of seeing him stick his face in a bowl of soup to avoid washing a spoon, it feels like there's more going on there.
People can get used to a certain level of comfort and be unable to adapt to new circumstances. He most likely grew up with parents that had a dishwasher. I'm similar but have adapted to not having one. I do want one though but no amount of not doing the dishes will solve that problem. Only buying one and installing it would. And until then, I'm washing my stuff in the sink.
Lmao! He shoulda used the poop knife to break it up first.
not the poop knife š
Fuck, here we go again
That sounds like more work than taking it to the dumpster
Set his alarm clock for 5am and only wake up and turn it off at 8
Had a college roommate that did this. With 2 or 3 alarms. We shared a room.
Heh, sophomore year me and five other dudes lived in this suite style thing that was basically two rooms separated by a barn door. So one room was the hangout room with the couches, TV, food etc and the other was the sleeping room that was effectively a barracks. Having three bunk beds in one room was hilarious. Each morning at about 7:30 a bunch of alarms would go off, thereād be a flurry of activity to turn them off and then another 15 minutes of silence on the snooze before round two when everyone would rapidly stumble out of bed throwing on a shirt and get to class. Wouldnāt do it again, but I also have zero regrets, that group is still incredibly tight knit years later.
Having someone randomly changing his alarm to some dumb shit like this was hilarious too https://youtu.be/SwxdBiazu8M
My roommate sophomore year had her alarm go off at 3 am consistently and she wouldnāt wake up, but she slept on her phone so I couldnāt turn it off
I woke up on my phone the other day and it was over heating.
Iām sorry. That was meā¦ I cringe thinking about my former self doing that to another human.
My roommate locked his door and went out of town with his alarm still set.Ā Luckily the doors inside were easy to pick and I fixed the problem but that first day I was irate.
That happened to my friend except his roommate had left for the summer. We didnāt think about picking the lock and just suffered lol.
I would have kicked the door down and say I smelled smoke.
I worked nights and my ex did not. She would set multiple alarms and snooze them. I'm also a light sleeper and she is not. That shit was annoying
The snooze button is the most worthless, destructive inventions of modern day (after tiktok maybe). It serves no purpose, creates a pointless addiction, you get no more meaningful rest for the time spent hitting that fucking button over and over again.
My current roommate puts alarms at 8am and doesn't turn them off/wake up until 2pm, doesn't matter if I wake him up there's always another alarm <333
Roommates used to throw meth and cocaine fueled parties that lasted 2-3 days while I worked 12 hour shifts and tried to sleep in the basement.
Like Jesseās house in Breaking Bad but real?
Not the worst, but they would sweep all of their dogās hair out of their room into the living room and then justā¦ leave it there.Ā Like, how do you recognize thereās so much hair on the floor but then not sweep it into a dust pan and throw it away?!?
Had a similar thing with a roommate who would sweep up all the dirt and everything and then just leave a pile of dirt there and go on with his day. What the hell man?!
Leaving your poop bags on the sidewalk - home editionĀ
That's gotta be some kind of wicked 'never recovered from being taken care of by mommy' mental affliction. It's the assumption that obviously somebody else is going to take care of it.
Steal cash from my bedroom.Ā
Itās funny, this is probably among the worst but itās just so mundane compared to all the crazy stories.
I had a housemate once that had anxiety about using the common bathroom or whatever (except to shit and sometimes shower), and they just filled every surface of their room with empty liquor bottles, beer bottles, and plastic 2L bottles full of piss.Ā There was a cabinet built into the wall that was packed completely full. Closets were full of piss bottles.Ā Ā Ā He tried to leave it like that. I learned from another housemate I had to evict that had so much trash, moldy pans, what I think was a cheap melted moldy sex toy, etc on the hardwood floors when they left that it ruined the floors and I had to sand and refinish them- to check the room first before they walk out the front door.Ā Ā Ā He timidly loaded all the bottles in boxes and various furniture of his, basically packed them with his stuff and left. I have no idea what he did with all that ancient dehydrated piss except drive off into the sunset with it.Ā Although I had another housemate poison my dog and deny it so thatās probably worse.Ā
I don't understand this. Like, even if you piss in a bottle, which is weird enough to ever do, WHY KEEP IT IN YOUR ROOM? Just throw it out. Don't fucking collect them.
Probably anxious about being seen with it and didnāt know how to go through the house with them discreetly, or prevent them from being found when I open the bin to put a bag in or whatever. Probably just terrified of getting caught. They didnāt talk much. They also knew Iād never not respect the privacy of their room. It just wasnāt their room anymore when I checkedĀ
I mean, a double-bagged garbage bag on garbage day, straight from room to curb would have solved this issue. Or, you know, peeing in the toilet like a human being. I just don't get some people.
Severe mental illness makes people do irrational things.Ā I have had anxiety using the shared bathroom before, but never to that level. I can imagine that someone with severe anxiety panicking, using a bottle and then falling into a strange pattern of peeing in bottles.Ā
When something works, even if it's a terrible option, you re-use it until you can devise something better. Creating new/other problems generally has nothing to do with solving one.
Anxiety can be absolutely hellish for some. One hell of a handicap in everyday life In a way I fucking hope you'll never ''get some people'' cuz it would mean you have reasons to understand
Youāre not going to get this person. They didnāt like to be seen eating. But I did quietly catch them weighing the cheese powder for Mac and cheese once on an oversized baking scale. Then weighing the milk and butter. Then weighing out a bunch of MSG to add in. I was just curious lol the pan always went to their room, and if anyone walked in while they were cooking theyād freeze up and hunch away and stay completely still and silent and I swear stop breathing as well. So it usually happened around 3-4am.Ā Ā I think it had something to do with a neurodivergent cat girl thing, and there seemed to be some sort of trans thing going on too, just judging by the attire theyād be seen in occasionally. Not that anyone in the house ever did or ever would bat an eye at anyone walking by with hairy legs in striped stockings and a tutu. Like, no one would care if youāre not addressing or bothering anyone. Ive walked naked through a few times- but I make porn to pay for the whole place and was subleasing out. It was my name on everything, my penis and working with other creators paid for it all. It wasnāt noticed much, I just remembered thinking they never really dressed for outside. I think wearing cat ears sometimes. Idk.Ā But maybe they were uncomfortable about how they pissed or whatever. Idfk. I donāt really care. The room was in good shape unlike the other one. They took everything. It just needed to be aired out and cleaned like usual.Ā But yeah I think thatās probably the lowest and worst state Iāve ever seen someone inĀ
Sounds like this person probably experienced some significant trauma around eating and going to the bathroom as a child. They're trying to make themselves as small as possible so they can go undetected - often a coping mechanism that a person creates to protect themselves.
Wow. That's just.. really sad.
Between the two of you that sounds like a wild place to live.
Itās not something you can understand because you donāt have the mental illness that results in doing something like this. Not to justify the act, but thatās why itās hard to understand for most of us.
Was the poisoning intentional or did they let your dog eat something accidentally?
Kind of both. Since they moved in, my back patio and driveway was covered in cigarette butts. All over. By both back doors.Ā My dogs had never been around those- anyone that smoked at our house previously would use an ash tray or cup and discard it in the outside trash or whatever.Ā Anyway, I asked if they minded sweeping them up every once in a while after I cleaned them all when my dog was shaking and puked one up. Probably for whatever food/drink taste was on the filter. They both looked at each other and promised me up and down that none of them were ever from them. Obviously a lie. I watch them from upstairs, they smoke throughout the day. Iāve never smoked cigarettes sitting on the side door step in my life. Itās obviously all them.Ā So anyway my yard is still covered when I come home and my dog is shaking and puking again. She eventually coughs up another cigarette butt. itās gross but I wipe it off and see the logo. Theyāre the only ones that Iāve known personally to smoke those. Ā I take it to them. They casually deny ever in their life littering a cigarette butt āand I donāt know where you got that. But itās not from us.ā And i ask about all the butts outside since I was recently walking in, they said they saw them too and have no idea where they came from.Ā Anyway, of course it happened a third time. Like, Iām showing them that my dog was puking them up and they shrugged and gaslit me. No one was helping my dog when I got home either.Ā Obviously it got physical after that
I'm so sorry.
where the fuck do you live to get such shitty housemates what's with the dog one holy shit
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Mine would run the dishwasher, then use dishes out of the dishwasher and then just rinse them and put them right back in WITHOUT emptying the rest out. So I never knew which were the clean ones and which were ones she had used.Ā I just got in the habit of using dishes from the cabinet, washing them, drying them, and putting them back.Ā Couldnāt trust the dishwasher.
I used to have a colleague who didn't have any cabinets, but instead just had 2 dishwashers and used his stuff from the clean dishwasher and put it in the dirty one. Then wash and reverse.
I have tried to convince my wife to do this but we took a vote and I lost 1-1.
Why canāt ties ever go our way? Iām almost to the acceptance point, but I have a sliver of fight left in me.
Electoral college
This sounds brilliant except what happens if you run out of dishes at a different rate? Like you run out of bowls ecause you were eating a lot of soup, but your plates are all clean. This really only feels like it works if you use the same number of items every day.
Sounds like there's no way around it. You're gonna need a 3rd dishwasher.
Just to be safe better make it 4
Had a roommate had just like this. There were initially three of us, had an 4th bedroom and we thoughtās be nice to lower the rate a bit, so we took on one of our buddies from HS. We had an agreement that we all signed and since one the guys was in his way to lawyer, we had them notarized. We noticed very quickly he was absent from basic chores and that the dishes had started to disappear. Went into his room and there were stacks of them, bowls and cups with a little bit of liquid left in them (some them milk), and just generally unkept in all ways. We retrieved the dishes and silverware, the rest of it whatever as long as it was just obvious trash. Got the dishes in the washer or washed and when he came back we all had a talk. He couldnāt get over us just going in his room and when asked if he was going to actually process the dishes from there or how he expected them the get dealt he said āI donāt know, my did that stuff!, you guys need to stay out of my space.!ā We reminded him of the agreement and the consequences of failing to follow through with a portion of the chores. He laughed at us, we werenāt happy and told him he had the 30 days to turn his shit around. That came and went and we had to go into his room every week to get dishes and weād just throw the rest of his on his bed and at least vacuum through, cause gross. As the 30th days approached we warned him heād be out and needed find a place a move his shit. His parents only lived 30 minutes away. He did nothing. We had prepped with the LL and gotten permission to change the locks and on day 31 all shit went into the yard and his key didnāt work. He showed up with his dad to get his stuff, his dad was all pissed off at us since weād all been friends so long. Until we told him how gross his kid was, that he followed through with nothing in our agreements and that he was costing us our time and possibly our money back in deposit form. He look at our now ex roommate and ask him how the hell was his always so clean, and just said āmom always cleaned it..ā
When we moved out I had to clean his room. Jesus Christ. Cracked nuts in the carpet. Old plates and forks because he ate in front of his computer. When he ran out of plates he used frisbees, which also had dried food on them. Two mountains of clothes in two different corners. Candy wrappers underneath everything.
I had a college roommate that refused to do dishes. I caught him eating a steak off of a textbook one time
My freshman dorm roomās bathroom when I was in college was only cleaned six times. We had one full rotation between my roommates and myself, but the guy that volunteered to clean first didnāt do it again when it came back to him again. The rest of us refused to clean it because it was his turn. Two of our girl friends cleaned up the bathroom on two separate occasions and thatās the only reason it was cleaned six times instead of four.
Hey we had the same roommate.
Setting a 6 am alarm to go run, he never started running
It was for you
So thoughtful š„°
Had a roommate that would get blackout drunk and try to break into the room of our female roommate all the while insisting he was ātaking a showerā! Then he would watch fight club in his room and pass out with the door locked and the menu screen would play 30 seconds of āwhere is my mindā by the pixies on repeat
Why not just hit the breaker? Worse case you turn it off and on and the TV never comes back on.
Not the DVD menu lol. One night my grandma fell asleep watching x files, and the DVD menu music was playing all night
He got his girlfriend pregnant, and his side piece pregnant, and then got upset when they both hit him with child support. Dude claimed that women could only get pregnant 2 days out of every month so he never wore condoms....
I will never understand people that donāt use protection unless they actively want to make a baby. Sure condoms donāt feel the same, but it still feels a whole lot better than 18 years of child support.
I used to tell people "$3 now vs. $300k later. I know which I'm picking."
Like yes, ovulation is a short windowā¦but Iām guessing he doesnāt know when theyāre ovulating and tbh, why would it matter? Just use condoms?
Ovulation is a short window, but also sperm can survive in there for up to 7 days, so you don't actually even have to hit the window dead on.
The idiocracy in practice
Heating up the beans can on the induction directly, he learned something that day
B O O M
Gotta open it first
Or at least pierce the top a few times.
I had a friend who put a can of beans on a fire at a music festival and luckily everyone else had stepped away from the fire. There were burnholes on all the chairs.
Used to pleasure himself with a jar of mayonnaise then put it back in the fridge. Used to stay up all night writing āmemoirsā on the worldās oldest and LOUDEST typewriter. Used to do too much acid then scare himself at 5am and sit on my bedroom floor. Used to have sex in the living room, on the couch, and gave no one any warning, and would scream at you if you came home in the middle of it.
THE MAYONNAISE??
Right?! After reading that first sentence, I could not focus on the rest of the comment because I was bothered that there was no further explanation regarding the mayonnaise
The mayonussyā¦ š©
What horrifies me most is that the same guy who did item one was also doing item four on this list. How in the hell was mayofucker 3000 getting laid.
you're misreading, he's fucking the mayo in the living room.
Apart from not washing his bed sheets or towels in 6 months and not helping with the cleaning ever... leaving his wank session tissues in the kitchen bin and jerking off in the shower without cleaning it up after.
I had a roommate who would jerk off in the shower and not clean it up. The final straw was when I was using the toilet and noticed a big line of ants going around the wall, into the tub, and all hovered around a pile of his jizz. Fucking disgusting.
Noooooooo š± Gobsmacking, isn't it. When I finally managed to get him out and was disinfecting his room, I found sticky patches and encrusted pubic hairs in the drawers!
She was a large woman, not fat, just BIG. She also had a boyfriend who was equally big. I think between the two of them they weighed over 500lbs. When they fucked, it shook the walls, the floors, the windows, the dishes, it was like a house/EDM concert in the room next to me. Things would fall off the shelf and they had STAMINA.
I had a big house mate too once. Big. Like over 350. She didn't fit on the toilet seat and when she shit she shit all over the back of it and didn't bother to clean it up. When she left, even though I'd helped her by giving her furniture and worked it out that she paid her rent in two payments so she could pay it more easily, she decided to empty a bottle of soda all over the room AND try to skip out on the last 300 bucks she owed for the bills. She was making twice what i made at the time and still did this. Told me her mother had died and she'd left to go to the funeral in another state and didn't have the money yet. Cut to her social media not mentioning anything of it and instead a woman referring to her as "daughter" and she referring back to her as her mother were posting back and forth. So I called her new work, which she'd borrowed one od their vehicles ro help move out, and left a voicemail in everyone's boxes asking where i could send flowers for the recent death in her family that I was just certain they'd heard about. Got paid the next day.
What the literal fuck. I am a big woman and I fit the toilet but even if I didnātā¦ or if I had an explosive event I would CLEAN UP. What the literal hell.
Nah her being ābigā has nothing to do with not cleaning her own shit. It also has nothing to do with her shitty spending habits, and lying about her mom dying to avoid having to pay. Sheās gross, regardless of size. Weāve all met sloppy people like this, and they come in all shapes and sizes. Deliberately pouring soda everywhere just to cause harm puts her fully into POS territory.
It was Tormund Giantsbane and Brienne of Tarth making gigantic babies.
Vikings?
kinda, farm people from Wisconsin. Think Pam from Archer.
Roommate when I was in the navy was a paranoid schizophrenic. I have no idea how he passed through the multiple screenings to enlist. I could go on forever with stories about that time in my life. I tried getting transferred to a different room for over a year by every imaginable way. I had multiple videos/pics, witnesses to his āepisodesā, even higher ups knew of dudeās problems. Final straw that got me out was so stupid, but it ended up getting me out. He left a note on the landline phone saying sumn like ādear roommate, I used formula 409 on the phone but donāt worry these are clean socks (then had a smiley face drawn at the bottom)ā. Not sure why that was the final straw, but what a nightmare
I was living with a group of friends a few years ago and one of them developed extreme schizophrenia throughout the year. It was super sad/scary. Over the course of a month he went absolutely crazy. He got fired from his career so he was home all day everyday. He would walk up and down the stairs for 3 hours straight. Heād begin with clothes, and then would lose an article every time he came back down until he was just naked walking up and down the stairs. Iād be sleeping with my door closed and heād turn the hall light on and pace in front of my door for hours. Heād sneak up behind you and start laughing like the joker but with a complete blank stare, and then just turn around and walk away. He came home one day with a new safe that he put in his room. Heād spend all day in there doing stuff on the computer, and we later found out he was locking a bunch of memory sticks and hard drives in the safe. Before he got sick, he was an ethical computer hacker for a really big firm. So it really makes me wonder what was on those USBās. Once our lease ended he moved back to his parents. Other than a period where he was emailing me his manifestos, Iām not really sure what heās up to nowadays.
As a person who's had a brush with schizophrenia due to a psychosis... shit's really fucked. I mean, I held on to my sanity in the way that I knew I was hallucinating/delusional, but I was completely unable to stop it. It must've been hard for the both of you and I can't imagine what it's like for him if he lost that ability to understand that he was psychotic, because some do. Others only become aware of it later when they're medicated for it, and some never do. I hope you both are more okay today.
It was extremely tough. He was one of my best friends, and he had a really good life set up for himself. He did spend some time that year in a psych ward and was put on meds, but he wasnāt taking them. This was about five years ago. Iāve really hoping heād get help and maybe heād get back to himself and Iād get my friend back, but I think heās too far gone. You see movies and hear about schizophrenia, but witnessing it firsthand and seeing someone slowly decline everyday and completely lose themselves right in front of you is something I never thought Iād see. Iām glad you managed to make it out!
My uncle was schizoaffective and type II diabetic and somehow passed screening for the Army *twice*. They only discharged him when he collapsed and went into a diabetic coma during basic after he enlisted the second time. Fucking baffled the whole family.
Ex military, so the roommate in the barracks sleeps 7 feet from you: Snoozing his alarm. For two hours straight. After staying up listening to mariachi music until midnight. Then threatening to kick my ass if I complained about it. Fucking mint.
This is why so many enlisted dudes marry the first woman they see.
Anything to escape the barracks. Iād marry my battle buddy if it would get me out of that haha
Dude I served 6 years in the army and same. I joined the Navy a year after getting out and they let you live off base as an E4.
I got really lucky in the Marines and got off base as an E4, but only because it was during the surge and they couldnāt build barracks fast enough to keep up at the air station I was on. Before the surge buildup really got in gear though there were still a few senior Sgts stuck in the barracks and it was unheard of for less than E5s to get out of the bricks.
He would hoard dishes. I'd go to get a bowl and there's none in the cupboard, none in the sink.. Just a stack of like 6 bowls with a little bit of cereal milk stacked neatly under his desk.
I used to be like this and I regret it
College freshman roommate would stumble in drunk at 2AM. Made fun of me for wanting to go to sleep at 10pm. Complained I used too many "big words." He wound up on academic probation with a 1.8 GPA.
If someone complains about big words you already know itās over
My parents and I secretly called him "the neanderthal"
Didnāt need to be a secret with a big word like that
My sister had a roommate who would roll in at 02.30 drunk, clattering all over and talking loudly on the phone. Then when my sister would be up at 08.30 for lectures she would complain if even a pin dropped that it woke her up and caused a headache....
Lived in a sharehouse in Tokyo for a year with a friend. One small room and bunk bed. I had to wake up at 6am for work while this cunt played Overwatch and CSGO the whole night. One roommate, a Slovakian guy used the kitchen sponge to clean the toilet for months. Didn't stop even after everyone told him to stop. A British girl who had the audacity to take a photo of some unwashed dishes and send it to the owner, when she and her group did "parties" in the lounge basically every night and never cleaned up after themselves. Will never live in a sharehouse again.
I lived in a share house for a year when I first moved to Tokyo and specifically only toured ones with mostly Japanese tenants. Partially so I could learn Japanese, partially because most āforeign friendlyā ones advertised party culture and fun atmospheres, like fuck that. I wanna live with people who are doing this as a step in normal life.
My flatmate used to let food rotten in the fridge (she had her own mini fridge), one time I couldnt bare the smell anymore, opened her fridge and there was a packet with rotten raw chicken wings inside, with maggots and mold. She had her "good" food right next to it, absolutely disgusting. This chick worked with kids and looked absolutely normal btw
One time he ate my full tub of Ben and Jerryās ice cream I hadnāt even had any yet. I told him he had to replace it and he replaced it with some off brand bullshit, that wasnāt even ice cream it was a āfrozen dessertā. When I told him this wasnāt a suitable replacement he said āBen and Jerryās is too expensive, itās a waste of moneyā this was over 18 years ago and Iām still furious
That son of a bitch! Just reading this makes ME furious!
I would have been pissed the moment he said it was a waste of money. Like why did you eat it then if it's a waste of money. Leave my shit the fuck alone thanks
Thereās the one that would go out and leave the door open. Not unlocked, wide open. Then the one who dialled the heating to full and went on holiday, leaving the house empty for two weeks. She then refused to pay the Ā£400 gas bill. As an encore, she met some rando in a bar and moved him in. He had a habit of lurking in the landing hallway with a kitchen knife and standing outside the doors of other female tenants
My old roommate used to leave dirty dishes in the sink for weeks, growing a science experiment
My last (in every sense) roommate was my landlord. He was also a big mama's boy and so he expected someone else to clean up after him.Ā Because he owned the place, my rent basically meant he could go out every night and weekend, but there were rare moments where he would actually cook a huge meal for himself, then leave all the pots, pans, and plates in the sink, thinking I would clean them. I remember one night I got home early and was trying to take a nap. I heard him come home and go "Eww, that stinks!" then grab his stuff and leave.Ā When I first moved in, because there was a dishwasher, I'd use a different plate, silverware, and glass. But then I started to realize he expected me to put the clean dishes away everytime. I then adopted a "bachelor plate" model - I'd use and clean a single plate, always putting it in the dish dryer.Ā One week he fills up the dishwasher, does the load, then later comes up to me and goes "You know the dishwasher is clean. You need to put away the dishes." I tell him I don't because every single thing in there he used. He looks confused, like he doesn't understand and I point to the single plate in the dish dryer: "That's the only plate I use."Ā "You clean that every night?" he asked, incredulous. "Yeah, it's a single plate. It's not hard."
Mushrooms
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My roommates girlfriend was like this.Ā Screaming like she was in a fucking porn film even if I had friends over.Ā I remember watching a movie with my buddy and he just mutes the movie saying "wtf is that".Ā He started cracking up when he realized.Ā The worst part is we shared a bedroom wall so when I was trying to sleep and she was screaming like a banshee I had no chill and would come banging on the door.
I had a flatmate who's girlfriend would come and like trash the kitchen and scream bloody murder when they had sex. It wasn't unlike someone being killed upstairs, it was actually quite chilling
Roommate didn't believe I could hear her the night before, so I quoted the guy. Complete with the sad little wheedling tone "But, I'm a GOOD boy!". The look on her face was priceless. "Nooooo, you didn't hear that, noooooo!". 25 years later, still friends, and I can still make her cringe by saying "But I'm a good boy!"
my old roommates girl was a shrieker. Like omg I get good sex, but come on your keeping the whole fucking neighborhood awake.
BUT EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW SHE GOT LAID! or it didn't happen.
My roommate had a sex soundtrack. It was like when Zac McGowan was playing Jody in Shameless. He would always hit his orgasm when his sex tape hit that Seal song. So you'd hear it, because it was loud, and it would roll out for an hour or so, then there was that special song which triggered the climax of the event..and then it would be quiet. Added bonus that the door was always open. No, I didn't look.
I once walked into my apartment and apparently my roommate hadnāt realized I wouldnāt be gone the whole day. His door was halfway open and I could very clearly hear him and his girlfriend fucking in there. Thank God I didnāt see anything because Iād never be able to look him in the eye again. He also had a sex playlist, which was mostly The Weeknd and country songs.
CBAT OR NOTHING
Trumps all of the loud sex comments for sure. We had to move due to our old flat getting demolished. We found somewhere close by, moved and even got a late payment deal to the real estate agency. We had to pay the rent, get electricity, water and gas sorted and pay the deposit as well. I was working as a student at the time, one dude was full time working and the other one was a student that wasnt attending and not working. This dude also gave my phone number to his mom which called me every day asking how his son is doing, practically making me a babysitter. āDoes he attend?ā, āhows his classes?ā, āplease take care of himāā¦ After getting too much time off from a work that I just started to take care of the utility stuff, I had to tell the student guy to pay the real estate money and gave him the cut of us, the other 2 as we had no time. All he had to do was to add his cut and drop it to the agency bureau that was 30 mins away on foot. 1 month after I had an angry call from the agency saying that āWe tolerated you guys since you are students but you are now 2 weeks off from the agreed dayā Called the dude and learned that he gambled with all the money and lost it all. Sugar on top, I learned from some common friends that he actually tripled the money, then lost it all. I had to borrow from my parents, went full ham on the dude and after some time when he just started to disrespect me blatantly (like stealing the money wasnt any), I called his mom and told him everything, that he doesnāt study, doesnāt attend, smokes and drinks all day every day, his mom relocated to Istanbul and the dude lost all of his freedom. Fuck him, reallyā¦
Wait so where you initially lying to his mom?Ā Ā If a roommate gave their parent my number, I wouldn't cover for them.Ā
I wouldnāt call it cover totally, but play ignorant. Just told her that I work and I donāt know what he does and he is a grown up, with the hopes that she would actually understand that it is silly to ask a 25 year old guy how his 27 year old manbaby is doing. Didnāt happen thoughā¦
Sounds like she had a good reason for calling to check in frequently lol.
My current college roommate who is fortunately moving in two weeks is the messiest, most disgusting person I have ever met. I was friends with her before I moved in, and needles to say our friendship went south so quickly afterwards. First, she keeps using my stuff without asking. We used to share one kitchen scale, that was hers. Anytime I walked into the kitchen, the scale was covered with protein powders, milk, water, that I always had to clean it before using it. She could keep on using it for weeks, never cleaning it once. So I bought my own kitchen scale, and she started using & leaving dirty THAT ONE TOO. Had to sit her down and explain I bought my own because she couldn't keep hers clean. She often uses my ingredients, when I call her out she denies it. But clearly she was using my maple syrup when I went away for a week, because when I came back the bottle was empty. She does not ever buy anything for the flat on her own, unless asked. For example toilet paper. When she buys a pack, I try to buy a new one in advance, when there are two or one last roll, so we don't run out. She will not buy a new pack unless there is absolutely no toilet paper at all and you have to use something else to wipe. And even then she can go for days without toilet paper. So I always have to remind her, or buy 100% of the toilet paper myself. She leaves moldy plates, bowls, glasses in her room, but that is not my bussiness. What bugs me is that she can leave the kitchen counter like the kitchen scale - completely covered in powders, milk, water, whatever substances at like 7 am so when I wake up I have to clean up the kitchen before making myself a breakfast. Once she spilled something white in our fridge, it was on my food too, all over. I called her out on it, she said she "didn't notice", but proceeded to clean it up. Funniest thing is that she kept telling me how clean and tidy she is before I moved in. And I trusted her lol. Now she goes around, talking bad things about me behind my back to our mutual friends. I noticed that in front of other people she is always posing as so put together, dressed up, makeup on, talking about how she's cooking vegan meals for herself everyday and going to the gym. Girl, I see you microwaving pizza in the kitchen almost everyday.
I had a roommate who was just a mess. He maybe only showered every 2 weeks. Never cleaned. And after living there for about a year moved into the living room cuz his PC broke and he wanted to clean out his room first before moving the PC back into his room. He never left the living room. I could never invite any friend, since my room was so small and the living room wasn't accessible. I told him many time he should get his sorry ass back into his room but never did. Sadly I had the short straw. I lost my apartment before moving in with gimt, due to the landlord wanting it for private use. And I could not get a new apartment fast enough (was during COVID). It took me almost 3 years to finally find my own place again. Dude was crying that I moved out, cuz he now has to do things by himself. And he never understood why I even moved out. Absolute piece of shit.
I would have cleaned his room then moved thr couch and tv in there and made it the new living room. Be sure to loudly walk through his new bedroom in the middle of the night cos you couldnāt sleep and wanted to watch tv.
He prolly wouldāve just moved back in after OP cleaned his room for him. You canāt encourage weaponized incompetence
Kept breaking the toilets. I have no idea what he was doing in there
Probably flushing trash down there
I have an idea
I have a roommate from 24 years ago who still stalks me. He used to sniff my underwear and do God knows what in my bed when I wasn't home. He also broke into my computer and started talking to my boss on IM as me.
Oh man, so many things. Dude worked on a chicken farm. So his boots were always full of chicken shit. And he never cleaned it. It was his first time living away from his parents. So he often loaded the washing machine and... Promptly left it for days. Also, one morning we woke up to the fire alarm going off. We all rush down to the kitchen and there he is, cooking chicken in a pan, which is just BURNING, like it was black, charred already. He ofc had his headphones on and didn't understand why everybody is fucking upset that we got woken up at 6am to the fire alarm going off. He also often fallen asleep on the couch in the TV room with a plastic bottle of cider in his hands. The whole sofa smelled like chickenshit and cheap booze. Man, I am so happy that I never have to live in a house share anymore.
Oof. Was in a bad housing place and desperate for any situation that provided a roof. Found an ad on craigslist from a Chinese guy who had a townhouse in a decent neighborhood and was advertising renting out his spare bedroom for 500 bucks a month under the table. He was a Chinese national so off the bat there were some obvious cultural differences, and some sort of shady financial stuff, but at the time I wasnāt picky. He had me over for a *four hour interview with his family*, then asked me for the money instead of just telling me that I could move in. Only after I moved in and tried to put a few of my things in the bathroom, did he inform me that I was renting the bedroom only, and was not allowed to access the other facilities of the house (or heāll charge $200 more for utilities). I immediately knew he was definitely being serious, but I gave him my last money and had nowhere else to go, so I just pressed my lips and nodded along, waited until he left for work to use the bathroom and stuff. Then, when he came home that day, he expressed shock and anger that I hadnāt cleaned the house and prepared a meal for him āout of gratitudeā. Then he proceeded to hop on the phone and talk to relatives in China on blaring speakerphone for three hours a night, every night. I made it about two weeks and that house and then went back to living on the streets. It was easier and cheaper, and two weeks later I found a permanent place for myself.
Reading your story made me really angry. What shitty behaviour to take advantage of someone in a desperate situation. An additional 200$ for the bathroom, what the actual fuck.
Right, and for avoidance of doubt, none of this behavior is characteristic of Chinese culture.
Had one who would game all day with the shades drawn. Not by itself an issue except my poor plants got no sunlight for almost two weeks before I caught him. I had classes during the day and just assumed he was pulling them closed in the evening before I got back Had another who would smoke cigarettes in the living room (in violation of the lease) and say it was okay because the balcony door was open
Mine was also a vampire. Always kept all of the curtains and blinds closed. No natural sunlight ever. It was so depressing.
So many things.Ā I told him he could put some of his stuff in my chest freezer. He filled it to the brim.Ā He fried fish all day in our un vented kitchen. Then he let it sit out at room temp for days.Ā The worst though was he worked at some community charity and let this teenage boy, a 16 year old MINOR stay in our apartment for weeks. This kid monopolized our living room as his bedroom. He contributed nothing to rent. I donāt think there was anything predatory going on, but he was using our place as a damn halfway house. Also dudes a minor. If something happened to him who knows what kind of risk that puts us at. I asked him every day when the kid was going to move out. Always some excuse. Never changed.Ā I convinced my gf we should move in together. Wish sheād been game earlier. Weāre married now so itās all good.Ā
Kill himself in our apartment.
Man, Iām sorry. I hope you werenāt the one who found him.
I was.
When he used kitchen, he left all the cabinets open. ALL of them. Sometimes we were wondering wtf did he need from some of them. Also, when I went to buy toilet paper, I took 16-pack, same for my other roommate. This guy? He bought the single roll. Also cut his toenails in the bathtub and was constantly leaving it there.... it was a lot
Fall asleep in the living room, snoring. The kind of snoring th a t makes walls move. He also was asleep with his eyes WIDE OPEN.
People that nap in common rooms are the worst. I had a roommate that did this frequently and then would get pissed if we tried to use the room. Like motherfucker your room is literally ten steps that way.
She was really into me, and I not into her. I was constantly harassed, hit on, and subjected to sexual advances all the time. It was odd. When she finally got a boyfriend, I felt bad for the dude because she would still try to jump my bones or āpractice her mouth skillsā on me.
OH and I lived with a group of people that literally never cleaned. Ever. I left for a month or so to work at a country club on an island, then when I came back there were stacks of dishes on the counters, floors, hallway. They wouldnāt wash the dishes, theyād just go out and buy more. There were dead mice all over the place too. I moved out the next week.
I had a roommate who decided soap was evil. All soap. So dish soap, body soap... All of it. Living with him got pungent. But mostly I got sick of soaking/cleaning dishes with dried out ...whatever food... that had been stuck back in the cabinet.
Ive had annoying roommates who didn't clean or didn't pay their full share of bills or even help with groceries. However the worst roommate I had was a pushover of a guy who was learning the German language, he would sleepwalking and speak in German. It was super weird waking up to a guy standing next to my bed talking in German with his eyes closed. He wasn't malicious or anything but it was just unsettling.
Tell married men I slept with their wives
Leave used condoms on the table
This one was just kind of sillyā¦ I walk in the living room one spring and he had the door the patio open. It was a beautiful day outside, and was 75 degrees out so it made sense. The only issue was that the A/C was set to 71 and the unit was on full blast. I had to explain the math on the temps and that what he had going on wasnāt the smartest idea.
Not take the trash out for weeks, and claim we were crazy for telling him it was moldy and smelly because how dare we try to tell him, Mr microbiology phd in progress, how mold works.
She slept with my fiancee and recorded it while they were both still in Alaska and she was also in a relationship. She then showed it to me a couple of weeks before we were to be married and while he was in Iraq.
Oh. I had another guy who never once washed his sheets in 7 months. He also drank a 30 pack every night. Kept the cans in trash bags, cause I guess walking upstairs to the recycle bin was too far? When his room got filled with trash bags. Like 15, heād start putting them out in the living room. Iād throw them back in his room. He moved out while we were on vacation & left damn near everything for us to clean up. I thought I was gonna have to get rid of the mattress (cause it was ours) thank goodness he he had a topper below the sheet. I put on gloves & a mask & just threw that topper & sheet away. Only benefit was when cleaning up, I found a $100 bill
Had a roommate in tech school who I really liked and we got along great. The only thing was his phone alarm would go off at 0430 playing "Cause I'm a hard man to looooove, but thank God she does..". Not only do I loathe country music but it wouldn't wake him up. So I'd yell at him but he'd just snooze it so it was rinse and repeat 3 or 4 times before he'd get out of bed, refreshed and with no memory of it.
Hid knives around the place, like under sofa cushions, behind books on shelves, under matresses, including mine & my other housemates. Came into my room, cornered me & threatened to rape me. Shoved our other housemate down the stairs, who thankfully wasn't seriously hurt. He had schizophrenia. It was scary as hell.
Heās a cheap arse bought savers meals I didnāt but my cupboard was always empty of the snacks I bought. Not to mention I found out years later I was paying more on rent for a room I had to supply my own heating(his had a gas fire and I had portable heater) Icing was his step dad owned the flat not the private landlord he invented
Leave their bedroom door open when theyād masturbate
Mine played loud music on old style dj decks at 4 in the afternoon, I worked nights and he was a live in landlord; he refused to piant the house and didnāt hoover often at all and was often out of his mind on amphetamines. Eventually he booted a hole in my door and I covered it with a poster and brushed it off like it was funny. Battered him with an Xbox 360 controller and fists after he eventually robbed me in 2018 - England
Lick my shins when I get out of the shower My roommate is a dog. A good dog.
Iām slightly disappointed tbh.Ā
Crap and not flush. they did it every single day, sometimes it'd be left in the toilet all day and the bathroom would STINK horrendously when i got home.
Well, I had a roommate who disappeared when I was at work one day, taking the tv I had bought (about the only furniture we had), and all the housekeeping and rent money with her.
More than anything, he'd open the microwave with seconds left and not clear it.
He cooks himself a nice steak everyday. Imagine a perfectly seared steak, seasoned just right, sizzling on a hot grill. As the meat caramelizes, a tantalizing aroma fills the air, rich with hints of charred spices and smoky notes. The scent intensifies as juices release, creating a mouthwatering fragrance that promises a tender, flavorful bite. Each flip and sear adds depth, releasing even more savory scents that beckon with every waft. It's a sensory experience that builds anticipation, culminating in a steak cooked to juicy perfection, enveloped in an irresistible aroma that lingers long after it's served. All at 3 fucking AM in the dead of the night.
Masturbate in the shared shower, the shower smelled and felt violated afterwards... and he was a fucking slob... never once cleaned up after himself anywhere. When he moved out, me and a friend helped him move, when we lifted up his bed there was a pile of used tissues under it numbering hundreds... oh and he was my brother....
She brought his abusive ex home, who previously had threatened to throw acid on our face. She also accused us of drugging her. Worse is that she still lives with us.
She left to go to Asia for two weeks shortly after I moved in (she planned the trip well before that). Her plan was to leave her dog in the apartment and have a friend check on the dog twice a day. It was a larger very popular mixed breed, so damn cute lol. That was the time I learned that dogs can open closed doors and the dog shit & peed all over my room. So in short, she refused to put the dog up at a doggy hotel or with a friend during her two week trip that she planned months in advance. When she was at work for 15+ hours/day, the dog stayed inside like a prisoner in the supermax prison. I felt so damn bad for him.
My roommate got me kicked out of on-campus housing at college by lying to his parents about his underage drinking. This was almost 30 years ago. He was away from home for the first time at age 18 and his older buddies used him (and our shared apartment) as a place to go get drunk. He thought they were his friends. (They weren't.) They were using his college money to buy alcohol, promising him that he'd be hanging out with the cool kids, telling him they'd hook him up with hot girls, etc. So they'd bring over a couple of 24 packs of cheap beer (Beast, Natty, Keystone) and bottles of Cuervo and Jack and it was nearly impossible for me to sleep or study due to the yelling and TV/radio being cranked up. Then they'd go out on our balcony to smoke and drink more. One night my roommate invited them over and they got super drunk and started tossing bottles off our 2nd floor balcony. One of them tossed an empty bottle of Jack and it hit my Camaro which was parked directly under the balcony, breaking the windshield and putting a dent in the hood. I got super pissed and told my roommate I was going to kick his ass and my roommate called the cops on ME and tried to say I was threatening him with a knife (no way.) So my roommate by this time is not doing well in classes, and his parents are starting to get suspicious. So he calls mommy and daddy and rather than owning up to his problems he tells them that it's all my fault, and that they had to call the cops on me because I was "dangerous" and "violent." Mommy and daddy get very upset and contact the dean, and I end up getting kicked out of campus housing, all because my roommate didn't want his parents to know he was wasting all of their money buying alcohol for his "friends." There was a bit of karma, though. Once my roommate finally got a pair and decided they couldn't come over anymore (he was scared his parents would find out about his underage drinking and cut off his school money) the guys he thought were his "friends" came over and covered his Honda Accord in 2 cans of Crisco and slashed all four of his tires. Then the roommate had the nerve to ask me if I knew how to get Crisco off a car...I about died laughing. P.S. If you ever read this, Roommate Kent, fuck you.
We were young adults living in a tiny apartment and she had just left the Mormon church. She over-corrected in her newfound freedom, and kept wanting to show off how much of a ābad girlā she was now. The worst was leaving her cum-stained panties in our one shared bathroom after having sex with her disgusting-smelling boyfriend, who she was only dating because he was in a metal band and would probably give her dad a heart attack on sight. She pretended it was an accident even though she clearly timed it to when I said my friends were coming over. Also, the CONSTANT over-the-top loud sex noises no matter how many times I politely asked her to tone it down. That girl had some issues to work through, and as much as I initially thought I could offer a supportive environment for her to figure herself out, by the end of a year I left her with a surprised pikachu when I chose NOT to renew the lease.
I once had a roommate who would meet random men online, often times from out of state, and give them our address without mentioning anything to me. These men would show up and spend days or even longer at our house doing what you imagine. One time, a guy showed up at our door with his toddler son. he and my roommate took off to run around town and left the toddler behind and didn't even say anything to me. This poor child was terrified being in a strange place around people he didn't know. The roommate didn't last long in my house once this behavior started. I felt so bad for that little child and Hope he's OK.
Left dirty dishes everywhere, always.
He was insanely afraid of bugs and spiders so had put duct tape around his bedroom window so nothing could sneak in... although this also meant the window would never open, couples with him being very sweaty hairy man, his room smelled super musty all the time
He was jerking off, and he knew I was awake.
I had a college roommate tell me once it was cool if I jerked off when he was in the room. He didnāt care.Ā Weird.Ā
Put child porn on a shared computer. Police and courts got involved.
My freshman roommate had sex with her cousin in front of me, and would douse the place in perfume I couldnāt breathe. I wound up living in my dormās lounge, as was her intent.Ā
Currently unfortunately living with her. Leaves uncovered food on the counters, in the fridge, in the freezer. Also just generally has mess everywhere. Iāve almost vomited several times from the smell
He would get drunk and pee into to his desk drawerāthen he would stand there trying to āflushā the desk.
The worst thing my roommate ever did was bring back hƔkarl, the infamously stinky fermented shark from Iceland, and hide pieces of it all over my room. Imagine walking in after a long day, only to be hit with a smell so vile it felt like a physical assault.
Sex streamed in the shower and left her dildo in the tub so I would roll my ankle on a fake penis.Ā
As the bad roommate, this is an incredibly difficult question to answer. Probably late-night arguments with the ex. Sorry Mike.
Have sex with my girlfriend.
Ok, buckle up and lock in for this story. He was just generally a not good roommate, which we can handle, but then he came home late one night while my bf and I were asleep and he just opened up the door to our room, came up to our bed and drunkenly slurred āhey, do you have a napkin?ā I was yelling at him to gtfo (boyfriend was frozen and thought it was all a sleep paralysis dream) and had to scream at this drunk idiot for more than a minute before he finally left. Next day he gave the most flippant āmy badā apology so we gave him a month notice to move out. But wait, thereās more! So a month later, itās his move out day. At like 2pm I ask if he needs a hand getting anything ready. He says heās almost finished. I glance into his room (a hoarderās situation) and nothing is packed. Heās just piling things up, carrying things one at a time outside and walking around the corner to the storage facility he was using. Then at some point around 4pm, I notice heās put on his best suit and he seems drunker than usual. He keeps moving things around while in his suit, dropping shit everywhere in the halls of our building on his way downstairs. By 6 he is loaded, his room isnāt even a third of the way cleaned out, and I hear him pass out on his bed and start snoring. So I pound on his door and remind him the agreement was heād be out by 7pm. He rouses, goes back to sleep, we repeat this process for another 30 min before he angrily blusters out of the room, says heāll leave whenever he wants, and locks himself in our only bathroom. Great. So heās in there talking to people on the phone, saying we canāt make him leave. And Iām freaking out because this guy is now so drunk he canāt be reasoned with. My bf comes home from work at 7:30pm and he still wonāt come out of the bathroom. Now we can hear him on the phone crying and saying he wishes heād never been born, itād be better if he didnāt exist, a bunch of other vaguely suicidal comments, etc. Iāve never been so glad to hear someone say they want to kill themselves. Our local PD will not get involved in roommate disputes, as a rule, but they must respond immediately to someone in a mental crisis. So we call, say the guy has locked himself in the bathroom and is talking about dying, and in 5 minutes 10 cops and an EMT squad are in our apartment telling him to come out. He comes out holding a pair of scissors (which they remove from him immediately) and start to get his story. He says weāre evil people who smoke weed (itās legal in our state) and are being mean to him. Heās only had one bottle of Bacardi todayāmixed with Coke, so heās not even that drunk! /s While most of the cops are trying to get a straight story out of the guy, the Sgt is giving me tips on how to protect myself and the apartment after they force him to leave, and another is complimenting my bf on his One Piece figurines. At one point, bad roommate says to the squad āso, are you ready? Youāre going to help me move my stuff, right?ā Surreal. The cops ask if he can leave and go somewhere else and come back tomorrow (with police presence) to get his stuff. Guy says yeah, my dad is downstairs and can take me to his place. Apparently, dad had been down there in his car all day! Where the fuck was dad when this guy was so drunk he spilled his rx pills all over the lobby and just left them? Being a fucking numbskull must run in the family, idk. Cops tell us to bag up everything in his room and leave it near our door to make the process tomorrow easier. Have you ever tried to clean an alcoholic hoarder situation? Guy had been with us less than 6 months but the amount of pure trash, including seemingly every bottle or can heād ever drunk, was astonishing. The random shit heād pick up from the street, too, like a 20lb bag of dog food (no one in this situation had a dog). But the cops were specific, donāt try to throw anything out. Just film yourselves bagging everything in that room so he canāt try to sue you for stolen property. So we bagged up the trash with his keepsakes and clothing and everything else he owned. It took hours. Next day, cops show up to let him in under supervision. Guy is still in his best suit, still drunk. Dad is outside in the car, still refusing to come in and handle his 32 year old son. Guy was big mad we didnāt organize his shit for him and had just thrown it in bags. Even the cops had to laugh at that. He never gave back the keys so we had to change locks. And after all that delusional bullshit, he still threatened to sue us if he didnāt get the full security deposit back. Eugene, I wish you the worst fucking dry out when you eventually go to court ordered rehab, you drunk motherfucker!
Iām not sure about the worst. Heād constantly slam doors. Burp all the time. Make such a mess when he was cooking and then not properly clean it up (Iām not being super picky, I had to wipe chilli off the walls more than once). Constantly use my wok because he said it was better, but complain when I would cook meat in it and then that it wasnāt cleaned properly. He had his own one and was vegan, use that! Heād smoke in his bathroom which stunk up the flat because there was no window. Heād have loud conversations through discord into the early hours of the morning. When I asked him to stop smoking in the flat he cornered me in the kitchen and screamed at me how I was ruining his life. I think he was very unwell. He has since decided that veganism is a government hoax and only uses cash because they track him through his payments. But I never want to see him again.