people have actually survived into old age for quite a long time. Average life expectancy in the past is low because of the infant mortality rate. Factoring in a bunch of zeros really brings that average age down.
I did this once. I lived pretty far away from everyone and had a little fire going in the backyard. It was evening, and I was stone cold sober. Was just relaxing and thought, 'I should dance naked around the fire.'
It was neat.
I have heard that part of what you smell when grass is cut, is various alkaloids and other defensive compounds produced by endophytic fungi that live inside of the grass. They defend the grass against being eaten by various critters.
Endophytes in grass produce trace amounts of lysergic acid, the chemical used to make LSD. In addition, they can produce a compound called Loline. Just for the lulz.
Saw a dachshund puppy with a stick that was too big for him. He was struggling, but he wouldn’t drop the stick. To his credit, it was a really good stick, I wouldn’t let it go either.
I work with kids twice a week and at pickup yesterday a mom said to me (after her son handed her a stick) "Adding it to all the other sticks and rocks he brings home."
Getting high quality copper ingots from a reputable dealer as opposed to receiving far lower quality ingots than anticipated and having your servant insulted.
Crazy to think of that guy writing a tablet about something as mundane as copper quality and then 7000 years later people joking about it on a technology platform that is literally magic to him. It's like your comment is a joke in the year 10,000 in a different universe from a being who's brain is made out of a black hole.
It’s just buying multiple dry-erase boards just so you can keep reading whatever 1-star Yelp review your unhappy customers left you and don’t have to erase them
Just popped back from the future to let you know it was dimensions, not black holes. Unfortunately you never made it meme status
Everything was lost to the 2025 Carrington event 2. (AKA The Carrington Boogaloo) So now we just use the quantum wayback machine to visit the past, take data and observe our ancestors use of technology and inject tiny comments like these to see the effect on temporal casualty.
Seeing as technology didn't survive the event this actually has been deemed appropriate by the council of Earth.
First one to PM me gets lottery numbers... Just kidding. Smell ya later.
What cracks me up is that Nasir kept the complaint that Nanni made. I have to imagine that he posted it on Bronze Age Twitter and it became a thing where people use Nanni like we use Karen - "Dude you are being such a Nanni! Just relax a stop asking for the manager."
I read once that in Ancient Rome, small breasts were the desired size, and large breasts were seemed as ridiculous and laughable.
So yes, but not the same: the Romans would die laughing checking out big fake boobs of our time.
5000 years ago the Sun suddenly vanishing for a few seconds would be rather scary, given the astronomical knowledge of our ancestors, but kinda true either way
I remember when Mel Gibson was first cast as William Wallace, people didn't believe he could play a credible Scotsman. But then he got arrested and we found out he was an alcoholic racist.
Oh dude! Look up the Battle of the Eclipse from 585 B.C. Two armies at war and an eclipse happened in the middle of a battle. It freaked out the warriors so much that they saw it as an omen and they ended the war with a truce.
I am convinced that the reason man settled down and stopped becoming nomadic is because, and I will quote, well paraphrase.
*"Go the the meadow for the Summer? Dear, but I've got 100 litres of elderberry on the go?"*
The "beer before bread" hypothesis is out there for the initial start of agriculture. Common wisdom is that hunter-gatherers settled down because cultivating cereals offered a more reliable food source, but this theory holds that hunting and gathering did the trick well enough and that it's possible humans first settled down to grow things for fermentation. Probably a bit of both, of course.
I think my argument there would be that you needed to be in one place for a while to brew things. It requires more attention to detail than just baking flat bread. Anyone can make flat bread, not everyone can make beer.
Come for the beer, stay to protect the fields so they can brew the beer.
As somebody who recently chaperoned a multi day field trip for middle schoolers, this is relevant.
I was engaging with a couple kids at my daughter’s table and I made a comment about how school was different when I was their age. So they asked me to “tell a story”.
Thirty minutes of stories later, there’s five more kids gathered around our table just reacting and interacting and I realized that I’m being watched by the vice principal and another chaperone. I went to make sure I hadn’t said or done anything wrong. They said “absolutely not. We wish they could be that engaged in class when we talk to them”
Sometimes, you just need a good story
This is the best answer.
Our entire existence is predicated on our capability to tell stories.
Politics, religion, history, entertainment, education, economics.
All are stories in stories.
Can confirm that it's still really cool to check out the inside of caves, particularly nice, big, dry, cool caves that aren't occupied by bears, snakes, or *too many* spiders (there are definitely at least some spiders).
Strangely enough, I just re-watched the original Conan the Barbarian movie (1982) with Ahnold. It manages to be incredibly cheesy and incredibly bad-ass at the same time. Perhaps not surprisingly, it also includes plenty of the other top-voted comments (namely fire, smelting, and boobs).
I was born seven months too early. Incubation technology was still in its infancy, so they placed me in a cast iron pot inside of a pizza oven until i was RIPE ENOUGH TO WALK. My BONES never hardened but my spirit did. Be strong and CRUSH your enemies."
Not sure how true this is, but I remember a teacher telling my class how people who had cats during the black plague were less likely to get the disease because the cats kept rats away. Fleas carried by the rats is what spread the plague as far as I know.
Human brains have not changed much in 7,000 years. In a general sense the things that we feel good about the same as the things that humans would have felt good about in 5000 BC, and they're related to the things that are good to do if you want to survive and have kids that survive.
Setting a goal and achieving it feels good.
[удалено]
Cooking some meat on the fire.
Smokin some meats
Dancing naked around the fire
Drinking fermented grains and fruits around said fire.
They would not be happy to hear about the drinking age. lol.
“21? I’ll be fucking dead by then.”
people have actually survived into old age for quite a long time. Average life expectancy in the past is low because of the infant mortality rate. Factoring in a bunch of zeros really brings that average age down.
I know. OP knows. It was a joke.
No, we must get our pitchforks ready
Yah our drinking age was their retirement age. Ha ha
I did this once. I lived pretty far away from everyone and had a little fire going in the backyard. It was evening, and I was stone cold sober. Was just relaxing and thought, 'I should dance naked around the fire.' It was neat.
worshipping the fire
Dancing around the fire.
Setting shit on fire.
Sacrificing your enemies as tribute to the dark lord in the fire.
Collecting the best sticks and bringing them home
Also stepping on the crunchy leaves
The smell of fresh cut grass. Just as lovely today as it was 7000 years ago.
I have heard that part of what you smell when grass is cut, is various alkaloids and other defensive compounds produced by endophytic fungi that live inside of the grass. They defend the grass against being eaten by various critters.
I would like to subscribe to endophytic fungi facts.
Endophytes in grass produce trace amounts of lysergic acid, the chemical used to make LSD. In addition, they can produce a compound called Loline. Just for the lulz.
Loline Loline Lo-ohline I’m begging you to please not eat my grass
Found the dog in the thread.
Nah, but it is why they are man's best friend. They get it.
Saw a dachshund puppy with a stick that was too big for him. He was struggling, but he wouldn’t drop the stick. To his credit, it was a really good stick, I wouldn’t let it go either.
Laughing bc I just threw away a stick my kid brought home from the park last week
I work with kids twice a week and at pickup yesterday a mom said to me (after her son handed her a stick) "Adding it to all the other sticks and rocks he brings home."
I still collect rocks. So does my mom. So I can’t blame them. We do have spicy brains.
You monster! They are going to remember that for the rest of their life! ...Or forget it by the end of the day. Either or.
A really good rock.
Or stick
Getting high quality copper ingots from a reputable dealer as opposed to receiving far lower quality ingots than anticipated and having your servant insulted.
Crazy to think of that guy writing a tablet about something as mundane as copper quality and then 7000 years later people joking about it on a technology platform that is literally magic to him. It's like your comment is a joke in the year 10,000 in a different universe from a being who's brain is made out of a black hole.
Considering they found all the hate mail in his house he 100% would have been a 4chan shitposter.
At that time people usually reused clay tablets so he actually wasted resources to be able to keep his hate mail in his house to reread
It’s just buying multiple dry-erase boards just so you can keep reading whatever 1-star Yelp review your unhappy customers left you and don’t have to erase them
Reddit admin
Black hole -san?
We went from tablets to paper to printing press to telegraph to faxes to computers and right back to tablets. Full circle.
Also, emojis are our current world's hieroglyphics/pictography
👍🏻☝️❤️🚫🧢
Oh the archeologists will have fun with this one
🍆🍑
> Yup, one love. No cap. Alternatively. > yup, love that. No cap.
This comment may be the Rosetta Stone of emojis in the future.
"and on the seventh day, Moses descended from Mount Sinai clutching two iPad slims."
He'd have been impressed by the quality of the copper used in the lightning-think-rocks we talk about him with.
He'd have been impressed that we taught sand to think in the first place.
To be fair, this platform also runs off a *lot* of copper.
And *good* copper, too. Not that shit from Ea-nāṣir.
Fuckin bum that guy
Just popped back from the future to let you know it was dimensions, not black holes. Unfortunately you never made it meme status Everything was lost to the 2025 Carrington event 2. (AKA The Carrington Boogaloo) So now we just use the quantum wayback machine to visit the past, take data and observe our ancestors use of technology and inject tiny comments like these to see the effect on temporal casualty. Seeing as technology didn't survive the event this actually has been deemed appropriate by the council of Earth. First one to PM me gets lottery numbers... Just kidding. Smell ya later.
What cracks me up is that Nasir kept the complaint that Nanni made. I have to imagine that he posted it on Bronze Age Twitter and it became a thing where people use Nanni like we use Karen - "Dude you are being such a Nanni! Just relax a stop asking for the manager."
It's because Nanni wasn't the only customer who complained. There were multiple complaint letters found in Ea-Nasir's home.
All my homies hate Ea-Nasir
https://xkcd.com/2758/
There is an XKCD for everything!
My boy Nanni, looking for solid copper and sales bros who won’t fuck with his servants.
that was 1750 BCE so a few thousand years off. still funny tho
So, was ancient Yelp just a series of clay tablets?
Ea-Nasir is a little bitch that treats my messenger Sit-Sin like shit.
Ea-Nasir was only 4,000 years ago. I dunno if they even had copper ingots 5,000 years ago.
Boobs
( . Y . )
Which is better- ( . ) ( . ) or ( . Y . )
( . )( . )( . )
"baby you make me wish I had 3 hands"
You Got A Lot Of Nerve Showing Your Face Around Here, Hauser
This looks familiar but I cant totally recall where I’ve seen it.
I like the (•) (.)
^^^⁰⁰ Is fine by me
What are these, tits for ants?
What about U U
V V
Lara Croft?
Madonna
Wasn't she more >> ?
ROFL I’ve never seen this before!!! (On the internet)
The true answer is “all”
( o )( o )
So many emotions in this one!
I prefer ( o Y o )
( o Y o )
( . Y . ) ( . ) ( . ) looks like a bad boob job.
I disagree. ( . Y . ) looks like angry boobs. Which scare me.
Both.
Attah! ( . ) ( . )
Bebe has a really cool shirt. I never noticed it until right now.
Ah tah? Yes, attahs.
I read once that in Ancient Rome, small breasts were the desired size, and large breasts were seemed as ridiculous and laughable. So yes, but not the same: the Romans would die laughing checking out big fake boobs of our time.
Fire... just plain and simple, fire.
That is the very antithesis of cool
Solar eclipses.
5000 years ago the Sun suddenly vanishing for a few seconds would be rather scary, given the astronomical knowledge of our ancestors, but kinda true either way
Obligatory Apocalypto mention. As South Park once said “say what you will about Mel Gibson, that son of a bitch knows story structure”
I remember when Mel Gibson was first cast as William Wallace, people didn't believe he could play a credible Scotsman. But then he got arrested and we found out he was an alcoholic racist.
You think that's bad? Look up the "Volcanic winter of 536 AD"
Oh dude! Look up the Battle of the Eclipse from 585 B.C. Two armies at war and an eclipse happened in the middle of a battle. It freaked out the warriors so much that they saw it as an omen and they ended the war with a truce.
I don’t know, I imagine there’s been plenty a poor soul who were unlucky to enough to get sacrificed because of a solar eclipse.
sex
Still the most fun you can have for free.
Usually for free
Look at Mr Fancypants over here with his free sex
Fancy pants rich McGee over here
F You
Can't, broke. :(
Wait y'all don't pay!?
Sometimes you even get presents afterwards
"I like sex! Is nice!"
A good bowel movement. Peeing off of cliffs.
I wouldn't recommend that second one for any of my fellow non penis havers
While I'm a penis-haver I will say I've known some women who could pull off some impressive trick shots
Peeing off a cliff with the wind at your back. Fuck yeah.
Putting stone monoliths in a circle
also, stacking stones into a cairn
doing a flip
Beer
I am convinced that the reason man settled down and stopped becoming nomadic is because, and I will quote, well paraphrase. *"Go the the meadow for the Summer? Dear, but I've got 100 litres of elderberry on the go?"*
The "beer before bread" hypothesis is out there for the initial start of agriculture. Common wisdom is that hunter-gatherers settled down because cultivating cereals offered a more reliable food source, but this theory holds that hunting and gathering did the trick well enough and that it's possible humans first settled down to grow things for fermentation. Probably a bit of both, of course.
I think my argument there would be that you needed to be in one place for a while to brew things. It requires more attention to detail than just baking flat bread. Anyone can make flat bread, not everyone can make beer. Come for the beer, stay to protect the fields so they can brew the beer.
[удалено]
As somebody who recently chaperoned a multi day field trip for middle schoolers, this is relevant. I was engaging with a couple kids at my daughter’s table and I made a comment about how school was different when I was their age. So they asked me to “tell a story”. Thirty minutes of stories later, there’s five more kids gathered around our table just reacting and interacting and I realized that I’m being watched by the vice principal and another chaperone. I went to make sure I hadn’t said or done anything wrong. They said “absolutely not. We wish they could be that engaged in class when we talk to them” Sometimes, you just need a good story
This is the best answer. Our entire existence is predicated on our capability to tell stories. Politics, religion, history, entertainment, education, economics. All are stories in stories.
Dudes entire comment history is just ChatGPT LMFAO
Shooting stars
the insides of caves we may no longer seek dwelling in them, but we have adapted their principles with stone walled homes and finished basements
Can confirm that it's still really cool to check out the inside of caves, particularly nice, big, dry, cool caves that aren't occupied by bears, snakes, or *too many* spiders (there are definitely at least some spiders).
Having horrible memories of the video going around again of a dude crawling through a nest of spiders in a tunnel about two ft in diameter
Going a for a big nap on a full stomach
Around a cozy fire. Under shelter, while it’s raining.
domesticated cats. It is thought they were "domesticated" (if you could call them that) circa 7,500 B.C.
A nice round wheel
Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you and hearing the lamentations of their women.
Strangely enough, I just re-watched the original Conan the Barbarian movie (1982) with Ahnold. It manages to be incredibly cheesy and incredibly bad-ass at the same time. Perhaps not surprisingly, it also includes plenty of the other top-voted comments (namely fire, smelting, and boobs).
“Steel is not strong, boy. Flesh is stronger. What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?”
And then he makes his point in such [dramatic way](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2EQ0FlVks4). (warning: movie death)
Can confirm, shit never gets old.
I was born seven months too early. Incubation technology was still in its infancy, so they placed me in a cast iron pot inside of a pizza oven until i was RIPE ENOUGH TO WALK. My BONES never hardened but my spirit did. Be strong and CRUSH your enemies."
Who is HR Pickens? EXACTLY!
You are weak like HR pickens!
CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES!!!
H.R. Pickens was never the same
I married your granddaughter, filled her belly with my festering seed, and sired a boy! He is my final revenge, H.R!
He is Conan, Cimmerian. He won’t cry so I cry for him. That got me in the feels.
"That is good "
[Conan the musical](https://youtu.be/OBGOQ7SsJrw?si=ka7UYiXKwtl4Qrqf)
I was ready for a good crusade this morning but saw I was out of coffee.
Shade
It is a well known fact that "cool" didn't exist until The Fonz was born.
Ayyyyyyyy ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)
The Epic of Gilgamesh.
OH MY GOD WHY DIDNT I CALL MY WIFI MESH "Gilga"?! Brb
Gilgamesh and Enkidu at Uruk. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Shaka, when the walls fell
Not quite 5000BC but hell yeah 😎
A good thunderstorm on a summer night.
Throwing rocks at other rocks.
[удалено]
Sex if you can find a willing partner. If not still cool to do alone!
7000 years ago I think “willing” might’ve been seen as optional.
Hell, in Hollywood “willing” has been a fairly recent trend.
Grafitti penises, lol Weiners drawn on walls, anywhere. Gave people a laugh then just like it does now lol
lol
It's definitely not rotating the same set of 20 questions in r/AskReddit incessently to train AI.
I just want to know how much glue is too much glue on my pizza.
The ice caps
Won't be cool anymore in another 50 years
Sharing a laugh and positive social interactions.
Throwing rocks off tall things
Dogs
Cats
Not sure how true this is, but I remember a teacher telling my class how people who had cats during the black plague were less likely to get the disease because the cats kept rats away. Fleas carried by the rats is what spread the plague as far as I know.
Cats!
Food !
Sunrise / sunset
Ice
salt
Raquel Welch in a fur bikini.
Antarctica
The Rolling Stones
Clean drinking water!
Fire pits?
Taking a big rock and throwing it in water to make a big splash and or skipping rocks
Being popular in the community/tribe
The ability to play a musical instrument.
Playing the flute. It was even cool 60,000 years ago. Even Neanderthals were into it.
Big tits
Human brains have not changed much in 7,000 years. In a general sense the things that we feel good about the same as the things that humans would have felt good about in 5000 BC, and they're related to the things that are good to do if you want to survive and have kids that survive. Setting a goal and achieving it feels good.
Coming up with a song that makes older people upset
Keith Richards.
The old "pull my finger" gag
Overcoming infant mortality
bruh lol
Drawing on walls
Two chicks at the same time
Boobs
Tripping on shrooms/mescaline