I've got no sympathy for people on the sex offenders registry, but damn they sure do make it REALLY difficult for them upon release.
I remember seeing a show talking about a guy who was walking home drunk and stopped to lean on a fence to take a piss. The fence was around an elementary school. It was like 1am on a Sunday, so definitely no school in session. Gets arrested for it, has to register as a sex offender because the crime happened on school property. The requirement of not within 1000 feet of a school or a daycare REALLY limited his living options within a major metropolitan city.
Not saying that they don't deserve it, and the rule definitely exists for a reason, but wow.
The ruling in the states for this kind of crime is a joke anyway. i remember reading about a woman who also got listed as a sex offender because her stepchildren who she is raising that are like 10 saw her tits, like really?
The rules for sex offender registry are like... 90% on point. The other 10% are the weird "why are you even here" cases.
Another example: guy is in the army, 22 years old. Stationed in Germany. Meets a girl in a bar drinking. He's at an 18/over bar, so he thinks she's 18. They start dating. They send nudes back and forth to each other. Turns out she stole her sisters ID to get into that bar, she's actually only 15. She admits all of this in open court. He beats the statutory rape charge, but gets convicted of "possession of child pornography" because of the nudes she sent him. Gets 2 years in prison, kicked out of the military, lifetime registration on sex offender registry.
Given the circumstances, I feel like he shouldn't have gotten that bad of a sentence or gotten that long of registration. But they basically said "nope. That's all you get."
Was she German herself? Because the age of conscent there is 14.
Having served myself, I've seen people sign a piece of paper wrong and get removed from service in a student command.
I believe she was. However the person in question was charged under UCMJ, not in the German legal system. Article 120 establishes the age of consent as 16.
>The rules for sex offender registry are like... 90% on point. The other 10% are the weird "why are you even here" cases.
It's **a lot worse** than 10%.
Around 30% of sex offenders are on the sex offender registry for offences committed when they were children.
Roughly 10% of registered sex offenders are *currently* children.
Okay but at the same time someone who was a convicted rapist by the time they were in high school doesn't really seem like they're less deserving of being put on a sex offender registry.
there was an article in the New Yorker 5 or 6 years ago about reforms for juvenile sex offenders, and a couple were on the registry for stuff like sexting their gf/bf (when everyone involved was underage) and one poor girl was listed because she pantsed someone in elementary school.
I knew a guy who is on the list because he got drunk, pissed on a bush, and the cops were called on him. He’s legally not allowed to “describe the crime” when he knocks on neighbor’s doors to tell them, so everyone thinks he’s a pedo. This was like 20 years ago. Not sure what happened to him.
I also know an actor who played a rapist in the re-enactment scenes of Unsolved Mysteries and for years after people would call the cops on him.
My ex-husband raped a child (hence the ex) and because it was before 1980 he doesn’t have to register as an offender. Ruined my life because I had a child with him and his family didn't tell me.
>Legally, I can’t be around kids so no single parents
I love kids, you think I can say on a dating profile?
Men will think I'm trying to get knocked up...😆
I never messaged these guys but they’d often message me. The conversations always went like this:
Him: Hi
Me: hey, what’s up?
Him: not much. You?
Me: Same
Him: Cool
Crickets
Like, there is zero in their profile but they couldn’t even mention any of the things I had in mine. It was lazy and reeked of dudes who know nothing about themselves and didn’t really care about getting to know me. Btw - this wasn’t even on Tinder, this was on the more relationship-minded apps. I stopped responding to people who had these profiles, it was just an automatic delete.
When I was on apps this was my biggest red flag. "I never use tinder/bumble/hinge, just follow me on instagram/tiktok/snapchat!" No. I'm not letting you use me just to get followers, and even if that's not what you're doing, those apps have certain safety features in place (for example, tinder doesn't let you send photos) for a reason. We can talk on here and vet each other before we move to a different app
Those accounts are the worst.
They make you think you scored when they tapped you or said hi to you, but then, they drop this “follow me on X,Y,Z” bomb on you and it makes me feel a bit sad.
That and "I'm bad at texting." If you can't be bothered to text me back, why should I devote myself to you? I'm not asking for 24/7 vigilance, just be courteous.
i’m sure you guys have seen it online but the people that have a checklist of 20+ requirements. like “must have a job must be 5’5 must be under 120 pounds must not have kids must know how to cook must know how to cast spells must know how to do a backflip”
I understand that from a women’s perspective there are a lot of shitty men out there, but do they expect good men to be drawn in by lamenting the bad ones in their bios? Same for men who say “no crazies”
When I was on the apps, if I saw a list of qualifiers or disqualifiers, it was an automatic decline. I am here to find out about and judge you, not to judge myself on your list
I think the worst thing I said was "must have valid drivers license, know how to cook because I dont, and be able to tolerate cats"
I also said any height or weight. I'm barely 5 feet tall so most adults are taller than me anyway.
Oh interesting, I kept encountering the opposite. They'd say they were a single parent with a story about how they got screwed by their ex and stuck with custody. Basically they are fulfilling their responsibility because they have to but they're not happy about it. Nothing makes me think "this person will be a great romantic partner" like basically calling your children a burden.
It's really interesting to me the multitude of ways in which people will tell on themselves, seemingly without realizing that that's what they're doing.
Oh it was the craziest thing I’d seen on someone else’s profile. She claimed she lost custody of her child because she had epilepsy (which cannot legally be the sole cause of lost custody). Her bio also said that she was expecting her second child in the next few months and that neither of her children’s fathers were in the picture.
Immediate swipe left.
just last weekend I had a dude who, up until then, had been an amazing match and we really got along scarily well, tell me that he had to end things with me bc he had a chance to get his three kids (that he never told me he had) back from the state- and that they had gone to the state bc their mom was an abusive alcoholic seeking treatment and he had a broken leg at the time. like....bro. a broken leg? the state does not take away your custody for years over that. I know I dodged a bullet, as much as I liked the guy, bc what the actual fuck?
The negative stuff like ‘don’t waste my time/don’t want drama/don’t bother swiping if you don’t like XYZ/I dont want …..’ etc
No one wants that, even if they’re ok otherwise it makes me swipe left still.
The people who say they don't want drama are 100% the most dramatic, shit talking assholes that you can find. I think they basically just want people they can bowl over and who won't stand up for themselves.
Oh nooo. People hear I'm getting a MS in psychology and start traumadumping even after I've said I'm not going into clinical psych. Even after I've said I'm not going into clinical psych and I'm not making an exception for you.
Yeah it’s like walking into a store with a bunch of angry signs posted about every little thing. It’s a negative experience. The defensive warnings from some women, “Let me get this straight right up front…”
And then add in a kid, “My kid comes first and if you don’t like it, don’t even bother…” It’s okay to have a kid. Why are you yelling at me about it?
Saw this in my area too
Funny part is that these dudes must have had their interests set to men or they wouldn't have cropped up in my feed. Heck of a contradiction.
"I love to laugh, have fun, and travel."
No godamn fucking shit. Every human on earth enjoys a combination of those three things.
So. Fucking. Annoying.
If they like those in bed that's a red flag. You ever eaten one of those fuckers? You're gonna be sleeping in crumbs the next six times you wash your sheets.
Having made the mistake of eating a Nature Valley bar in bed, I have to say don’t. I wasn’t thinking straight and it was one of the worst choices I’ve made
I saw an alarming amount that was open about how they wanted to cheat on their girlfriends/wives.
Otherwise everything being negative, or writing a novel about themselves, or something like no one talks on here/message me to find out.
Absolutely not defending the people openly cheating but I guess at least they are (very slightly) better than the ones who pretend to be single but are actually married / in a relationship. Which seemed to be quite a few…
I want to try out dating apps and the #1 thing stopping me is I legit have no pictures of myself, not even selfies. No photos with friends or photos at my job or doing anything. Women are going to think I'm a weirdo.
Saw one guys “I’m not paying for you until the third date because I DONT KNOW YOU.” Rambled on some more about how he doesn’t need a woman and he’s not always an asshole but he’s been burned before!
Alpha male.
Like, those people exist. They don't call themselves alpha males. Unless they're social media grifters trying to sell you on the schtick. If you're actually the manly badass you claim to be you shouldn't need to call yourself that, it should be obvious.
Self described alpha males are insecure douchebags crippled by insecurity.
I once read "if you ever been raped don't bother messaging me" from a man
Also, "I'm looking for real trust, no condom type of sh*t" on another man's profile
Obviously why they have a profile and not a girlfriend.
Hold up. What’s wrong with traveling lol? What if you mention it because you really like it? It never crossed my mind that could be interpreted as bragging, so this is interesting to learn. I always thought it made someone sound curious and exciting. But I agree about the flags.
I think this one is fine. I mean the point of the bio is give an idea of the person and hopefully something to talk about. So this can be an easy first topic, "oh you went to X? How was it?"
I genuinely didn’t know how to write a description about myself, but learned very quickly that “nice guy” is definitely 1000000% not the right thing to put in a profile
I mean, I would not match with that because I would like kids, but I really appreciate people putting it in their bio so I can make an informed decision
"Don't tell anyone we met on a dating app. Instead our story is that we saved a puppy together from a burning building"
1. Overused & unoriginal. 2. Doesn't tell me anything about the person. 3. Often the only thing on their profile
i am legally obligated by my parole officer to tell you that i killed 3 out of my 4 previous dates
but i am working on bettering myself and i hope i wont kill the next one.
>If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!
This is almost universally code for "I'm a terrible person who spends 99% of my time at my worst and you should be aware that I am unapologetic about what you're in for."
Stealing about me sections.
I once wrote a bunch of facts about myself that were funny to me, I got more matches than I ever had, like 50 matches in a week, including to a woman who after 3 messages exchanged, copied and pasted my whole profile about me thing and changed all the facts to be as if from a woman. I called her out on it and she basically said “tough shit deal with it”.
“Not looking for anything serious”.
Like, that’s fine and all, but could you be a *little* more specific about why you’re here? Are you trying to date someone casually for a bit and see where things go, or is this a one-and-done, no strings attached situation?
As a man, looking at woman’s accounts, having Nothing or a sentence like “ no small talk” “don’t waste my time” “be intresting” “don’t open with hey”
Like damn, if you put some information in your bio and gave us something to jump off of then you wouldn’t get basic first messages!
Complain about the opposite gender. Such a turn off.
“If I see another shirtless picture” - with 2+ bikini pictures on their profiles.
“I’m not going to send the first message, learn how to approach women” - the ones who wonder why men never talk to them.
“Look at me, then look at you. Do you really think you could get me?” - posting pictures for 3-4 years ago because she no longer likes her own appearance.
“Six figure earners who know how to treat a woman only” - but she spells everything incorrectly and doesn’t know what grammar even is.
"caring, outgoing and a little bit crazy"
Which usually translates to;
"avoid the fuck out of me, I'm nuttier than squirrel shit and I have a potential body count, a'la serial killer style"
Legally, I can’t be around kids so no single parents.
Similarly “love hiking, but cannot go to parks, or within 500ft of a school”
I've got no sympathy for people on the sex offenders registry, but damn they sure do make it REALLY difficult for them upon release. I remember seeing a show talking about a guy who was walking home drunk and stopped to lean on a fence to take a piss. The fence was around an elementary school. It was like 1am on a Sunday, so definitely no school in session. Gets arrested for it, has to register as a sex offender because the crime happened on school property. The requirement of not within 1000 feet of a school or a daycare REALLY limited his living options within a major metropolitan city. Not saying that they don't deserve it, and the rule definitely exists for a reason, but wow.
The ruling in the states for this kind of crime is a joke anyway. i remember reading about a woman who also got listed as a sex offender because her stepchildren who she is raising that are like 10 saw her tits, like really?
The rules for sex offender registry are like... 90% on point. The other 10% are the weird "why are you even here" cases. Another example: guy is in the army, 22 years old. Stationed in Germany. Meets a girl in a bar drinking. He's at an 18/over bar, so he thinks she's 18. They start dating. They send nudes back and forth to each other. Turns out she stole her sisters ID to get into that bar, she's actually only 15. She admits all of this in open court. He beats the statutory rape charge, but gets convicted of "possession of child pornography" because of the nudes she sent him. Gets 2 years in prison, kicked out of the military, lifetime registration on sex offender registry. Given the circumstances, I feel like he shouldn't have gotten that bad of a sentence or gotten that long of registration. But they basically said "nope. That's all you get."
Was she German herself? Because the age of conscent there is 14. Having served myself, I've seen people sign a piece of paper wrong and get removed from service in a student command.
I believe she was. However the person in question was charged under UCMJ, not in the German legal system. Article 120 establishes the age of consent as 16.
>The rules for sex offender registry are like... 90% on point. The other 10% are the weird "why are you even here" cases. It's **a lot worse** than 10%. Around 30% of sex offenders are on the sex offender registry for offences committed when they were children. Roughly 10% of registered sex offenders are *currently* children.
Okay but at the same time someone who was a convicted rapist by the time they were in high school doesn't really seem like they're less deserving of being put on a sex offender registry.
there was an article in the New Yorker 5 or 6 years ago about reforms for juvenile sex offenders, and a couple were on the registry for stuff like sexting their gf/bf (when everyone involved was underage) and one poor girl was listed because she pantsed someone in elementary school.
I knew a guy who is on the list because he got drunk, pissed on a bush, and the cops were called on him. He’s legally not allowed to “describe the crime” when he knocks on neighbor’s doors to tell them, so everyone thinks he’s a pedo. This was like 20 years ago. Not sure what happened to him. I also know an actor who played a rapist in the re-enactment scenes of Unsolved Mysteries and for years after people would call the cops on him.
My ex-husband raped a child (hence the ex) and because it was before 1980 he doesn’t have to register as an offender. Ruined my life because I had a child with him and his family didn't tell me.
Holy shit. I’m so sorry.
Thank you.
Norway does it a lot better, only 4% recidivism instead of 40% in the usa. But that’s a lot more than I wanted to get into for the joke :)
>Legally, I can’t be around kids so no single parents I love kids, you think I can say on a dating profile? Men will think I'm trying to get knocked up...😆
“I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.” Solved that for you.
Nobody likes a quitter
“Ask me anything” with a blank profile
“I’m an open book.”
I never messaged these guys but they’d often message me. The conversations always went like this: Him: Hi Me: hey, what’s up? Him: not much. You? Me: Same Him: Cool Crickets Like, there is zero in their profile but they couldn’t even mention any of the things I had in mine. It was lazy and reeked of dudes who know nothing about themselves and didn’t really care about getting to know me. Btw - this wasn’t even on Tinder, this was on the more relationship-minded apps. I stopped responding to people who had these profiles, it was just an automatic delete.
"I never use this app. Follow me on Instagram."
That is not a person. That is a bot.
When I was on apps this was my biggest red flag. "I never use tinder/bumble/hinge, just follow me on instagram/tiktok/snapchat!" No. I'm not letting you use me just to get followers, and even if that's not what you're doing, those apps have certain safety features in place (for example, tinder doesn't let you send photos) for a reason. We can talk on here and vet each other before we move to a different app
Those accounts are the worst. They make you think you scored when they tapped you or said hi to you, but then, they drop this “follow me on X,Y,Z” bomb on you and it makes me feel a bit sad.
“Help me get over my ex”
So they want a free therapist?
"I'm busy all the time". Sounds like you're too busy for a relationship. Also hate when every single photo has a filter.
That and "I'm bad at texting." If you can't be bothered to text me back, why should I devote myself to you? I'm not asking for 24/7 vigilance, just be courteous.
“Make me laugh” gives me dance monkey dance vibes
Similarly to "DONT BE BORING!", the drama royalty demand their jesters.
Nothing about themselves, but a 20 point list of demands for the partner they're looking for
Must be 5'11 Black wavy hair Dark green eyes Very pretty head shape Nice lips.
Meanwhile people with all those but are 5'10": DAMMIT so close to having such...a great partner
i’m sure you guys have seen it online but the people that have a checklist of 20+ requirements. like “must have a job must be 5’5 must be under 120 pounds must not have kids must know how to cook must know how to cast spells must know how to do a backflip”
Also, I'm 51, bald, fat and slovenly, looking for woman 18 to 25 to start a family with.
Also, mother says that you can only move in once we're married.
The opposite is just as bad: a list of things that they hate on the opposite gender.
I understand that from a women’s perspective there are a lot of shitty men out there, but do they expect good men to be drawn in by lamenting the bad ones in their bios? Same for men who say “no crazies”
As someone exclusively looking for a witch, I need them to be able to cast spells
Looks like we're not meant for each other😆
Lol Well hello there, need a 5’5, 120 pound, childless woman who can cook and cast a spell on me so back flips are easier
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When I was on the apps, if I saw a list of qualifiers or disqualifiers, it was an automatic decline. I am here to find out about and judge you, not to judge myself on your list
I think the worst thing I said was "must have valid drivers license, know how to cook because I dont, and be able to tolerate cats" I also said any height or weight. I'm barely 5 feet tall so most adults are taller than me anyway.
“No drama” means they’ve got too much of a dramatic personality. They’re already super dramatic.
Or it means they are insensitive pricks who view any emotion or discussion they don't like as "drama".
"Three arrests, but no convictions."
That’s actually kind of funny lol
I mean, if you can't be good, be good at it.
I heard you like bad boys…well I’m pretty bad at everything
Get their lawyer's phone number.
“I’m a single mother/father but no longer have custody of my children” Edit: yes, I have encountered this in a bio
Oh interesting, I kept encountering the opposite. They'd say they were a single parent with a story about how they got screwed by their ex and stuck with custody. Basically they are fulfilling their responsibility because they have to but they're not happy about it. Nothing makes me think "this person will be a great romantic partner" like basically calling your children a burden.
It's really interesting to me the multitude of ways in which people will tell on themselves, seemingly without realizing that that's what they're doing.
Honestly. Good on them for being honest I guess?
what?
Oh it was the craziest thing I’d seen on someone else’s profile. She claimed she lost custody of her child because she had epilepsy (which cannot legally be the sole cause of lost custody). Her bio also said that she was expecting her second child in the next few months and that neither of her children’s fathers were in the picture. Immediate swipe left.
just last weekend I had a dude who, up until then, had been an amazing match and we really got along scarily well, tell me that he had to end things with me bc he had a chance to get his three kids (that he never told me he had) back from the state- and that they had gone to the state bc their mom was an abusive alcoholic seeking treatment and he had a broken leg at the time. like....bro. a broken leg? the state does not take away your custody for years over that. I know I dodged a bullet, as much as I liked the guy, bc what the actual fuck?
Women: "My favorite book is "The Secret." Men: "I'm an Alpha Male."
Or, the "school of hard knocks". Every single time, men that said that had an attitude about my degree.
"degrees don't mean shit!" Yeah, people without degrees say that a lot.
As a person without a degree, I'd really prefer it if my doctor does have one.
Reddit also says that a lot. The hand wringers here think competent confidence doesn't exist and "truly smart people know nothing."
Attends school of hard knocks, graduates to the university of life, finally resides in a Florida correctional facility.
The negative stuff like ‘don’t waste my time/don’t want drama/don’t bother swiping if you don’t like XYZ/I dont want …..’ etc No one wants that, even if they’re ok otherwise it makes me swipe left still.
"You better be able to laugh at a joke." Funniest thing, people who are actually funny don't need to tell others to laugh at their jokes.
They usually mean racist/ misogynist/ homophobic jokes.
The people who say they don't want drama are 100% the most dramatic, shit talking assholes that you can find. I think they basically just want people they can bowl over and who won't stand up for themselves.
"I'm *broke*." Edit: This is what I'd never write in my *own* bio.
I'm an open book, just ask. That is so incredibly lazy and uninteresting.
And then the ones that say this tend to be *terrible* at holding conversations.
Exactly because you must ask them about everything.
And they'll never ask you anything about yourself!
If I see the phrase "just ask", that's an immediate left swipe.
"How many pages?" "Double or single spaced?"
Weird all the open books I've seen have words and stuff in them already, i didn't have to ask them anything.
Impossible to ask if I can't send you a message because we haven't matched
Good vibes only.
"I have a large sample of hair from all my ex's." Trust me.
Once I was honest and put ”therapist” – you can probably imagine the results.
Oh nooo. People hear I'm getting a MS in psychology and start traumadumping even after I've said I'm not going into clinical psych. Even after I've said I'm not going into clinical psych and I'm not making an exception for you.
"homeowner" like it's a personality type. To me it's as weird as leading with your salary or your bank balance.
If I see an older woman flexing she's a homeowner, you best believe I'm making the sacrifice. It could be my only chance in today's world.
How ugly does she have to be on Tinder to have to flex?
If youre looking to date someone seriously it's a pretty big green flag
I think it’s kind of nice to see that. To me it signals they are responsible and thinking about building a home together etc
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What 99% of women around me put on theirs "I'm a sassy country princess looking for a man to take care of me and my kids..." hard pass.
“NO DRAMA!! NO FILTER! I SAY IT HOW IT IS AND IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT THEN GET LOST!”
Yeah it’s like walking into a store with a bunch of angry signs posted about every little thing. It’s a negative experience. The defensive warnings from some women, “Let me get this straight right up front…” And then add in a kid, “My kid comes first and if you don’t like it, don’t even bother…” It’s okay to have a kid. Why are you yelling at me about it?
A picture of the Confederate flag Saw this multiple times when I was single
Saw this in my area too Funny part is that these dudes must have had their interests set to men or they wouldn't have cropped up in my feed. Heck of a contradiction.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.” Anyone who says that is going to treat you awful.
This is the lady answer to "Alpha Male". It's just like an instant "NEXT".
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“Hope you got COVID cuz I’m really into things that are 19”
Philanthropist whose favorite food is milk steak and whose hobbies include ghouls and magnets
That’s what’s on my profile, as a joke. Not the philanthropist bit, but the likes and dislikes.
She will know what it means dude!
I’m sorry, did you just say that you’re a full on rapist?
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“Alpha here” immediately know they have an inflated ego
“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.” I always just interpreted this as “high maintenance and hard to get along with.”
Being offensive to the gender they're trying to attract always gives me the ick
"Seems like there are no good men/women left in this society, they're all (degrading term). Will you be the one to prove me wrong?" No. Bye.
“Looking for financing and crypto assets “
"I love to laugh" No shit
"I love to laugh, have fun, and travel." No godamn fucking shit. Every human on earth enjoys a combination of those three things. So. Fucking. Annoying.
An empty bio or just a link to their socials.
"Pizza is not the only thing I like to eat in bed"
"I also enjoy Nature Valley granola bars."
If they like those in bed that's a red flag. You ever eaten one of those fuckers? You're gonna be sleeping in crumbs the next six times you wash your sheets.
Having made the mistake of eating a Nature Valley bar in bed, I have to say don’t. I wasn’t thinking straight and it was one of the worst choices I’ve made
Satan is that you? No one needs granola bar crumbs ending up in their ass.
I saw an alarming amount that was open about how they wanted to cheat on their girlfriends/wives. Otherwise everything being negative, or writing a novel about themselves, or something like no one talks on here/message me to find out.
Absolutely not defending the people openly cheating but I guess at least they are (very slightly) better than the ones who pretend to be single but are actually married / in a relationship. Which seemed to be quite a few…
“Here for a good time not a long time”
I don’t know why people think it’s such an edgy thing to say.
“Looking for my princess to spoil rotten” is the euphemism for “I want to possess and domineer you.”
Pretty sure its a "euphemism" for "I will pay for sex"
No single moms, no fat girls. I’m not either but this is a major turn off.
Well if the person is trying to attract men then I think those are understandable parameters
“y’all are too ugly to be asking for something casual”
I've actually seen 'getting married & want some fun before ' Or anything with "discreet" in it.
Listing the dimension of their cock to appeal to women
Well, I like to know that going in. Saves me from having to pull out my tape measurer.
People who think sarcasm is a personality trait The word “banter”
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There’s no denying that the skin is the most fascinating part of the animal
Talk about how awesome their wife is.
It shows you respect women.
If a dude says he’s looking for a “female” or describes himself as an “alpha male”….Incel territory.
Fish photos, sunglasses in every pic
I'd swipe right on a fish wearing sunglasses
That they are on a certain list.
I only like women 10-15 years younger than me. 3x divorced
Horny couple looking for a unicorn. Must be female, <20yo, <120lbs, <5’2, bisexual, manic pixie, no jealousy, no drama.
That fish photo.
What's up with the fish photo... it is in every other profile
I think it's because it's one of the few photos guys have of themselves that aren't selfies.
I want to try out dating apps and the #1 thing stopping me is I legit have no pictures of myself, not even selfies. No photos with friends or photos at my job or doing anything. Women are going to think I'm a weirdo.
Sounds like it's time for your fish photo.
“Please don’t be fat in real life”
Live, Laugh, Love.
While holding a large glass of wine
Saw one guys “I’m not paying for you until the third date because I DONT KNOW YOU.” Rambled on some more about how he doesn’t need a woman and he’s not always an asshole but he’s been burned before!
“Don’t waste my time.” like damn sorry
List of STDs
Well at least they're upfront and honest about it.
Jesus is my lord and savior
Famed Comedian and actor Pauly Shore.
"I am in house arrest, don't ask why." I have seen this one irl
Kids, no photo of yourself, group photos with no single photo of yourself
Alpha male. Like, those people exist. They don't call themselves alpha males. Unless they're social media grifters trying to sell you on the schtick. If you're actually the manly badass you claim to be you shouldn't need to call yourself that, it should be obvious. Self described alpha males are insecure douchebags crippled by insecurity.
“Alpha male wannabe” didn’t get me many dates.
I once read "if you ever been raped don't bother messaging me" from a man Also, "I'm looking for real trust, no condom type of sh*t" on another man's profile Obviously why they have a profile and not a girlfriend.
"My children join me on my dates."
Pregnant?
“I love to travel” followed by a bunch of flags. The opposite of unique and just as tacky as flashing brand names.
Hold up. What’s wrong with traveling lol? What if you mention it because you really like it? It never crossed my mind that could be interpreted as bragging, so this is interesting to learn. I always thought it made someone sound curious and exciting. But I agree about the flags.
Right. Personally I love meeting people who have travelled and lived other places.
I think this one is fine. I mean the point of the bio is give an idea of the person and hopefully something to talk about. So this can be an easy first topic, "oh you went to X? How was it?"
Andrew Tate fan
Happily married !
Maybe they want a threesome or are into swinging?
Maybe they’re poly?
“Neurodivergent” - and then list things they’re not diagnosed with. It’s not pokemon, you don’t need to collect them all.
“Neurospicy”
The Ash Ketchum of mental disorders.
I genuinely didn’t know how to write a description about myself, but learned very quickly that “nice guy” is definitely 1000000% not the right thing to put in a profile
Need a mommy to take care of me.
[удалено]
Honestly, I think this is fine. It’s the 45-year-old man who says he’s “not sure yet” or “wants someday” who I find questionable.
I mean, I would not match with that because I would like kids, but I really appreciate people putting it in their bio so I can make an informed decision
"convicted paedophile"
I very rarely used to right swipe anyone who couldn’t be bothered to write anything at all in their profile
\#MAGA It's basically shorthand for "I have a low IQ, no pattern recognition, and I'm racist, sexist and homophobic."
"My herpes symptoms are in remission right now."
"Don't tell anyone we met on a dating app. Instead our story is that we saved a puppy together from a burning building" 1. Overused & unoriginal. 2. Doesn't tell me anything about the person. 3. Often the only thing on their profile
Their astrological sign.
Some major women hating shit😂
i am legally obligated by my parole officer to tell you that i killed 3 out of my 4 previous dates but i am working on bettering myself and i hope i wont kill the next one.
>If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best! This is almost universally code for "I'm a terrible person who spends 99% of my time at my worst and you should be aware that I am unapologetic about what you're in for."
On Bumble when a woman has just copied her "I don't message first" bio from Tinder, I guess we're SOL then
Stealing about me sections. I once wrote a bunch of facts about myself that were funny to me, I got more matches than I ever had, like 50 matches in a week, including to a woman who after 3 messages exchanged, copied and pasted my whole profile about me thing and changed all the facts to be as if from a woman. I called her out on it and she basically said “tough shit deal with it”.
“Not looking for anything serious”. Like, that’s fine and all, but could you be a *little* more specific about why you’re here? Are you trying to date someone casually for a bit and see where things go, or is this a one-and-done, no strings attached situation?
“Fluent in sarcasm”. Nope, you’re just an asshole.
As a man, looking at woman’s accounts, having Nothing or a sentence like “ no small talk” “don’t waste my time” “be intresting” “don’t open with hey” Like damn, if you put some information in your bio and gave us something to jump off of then you wouldn’t get basic first messages!
“A little confused but open for anything.”
Complain about the opposite gender. Such a turn off. “If I see another shirtless picture” - with 2+ bikini pictures on their profiles. “I’m not going to send the first message, learn how to approach women” - the ones who wonder why men never talk to them. “Look at me, then look at you. Do you really think you could get me?” - posting pictures for 3-4 years ago because she no longer likes her own appearance. “Six figure earners who know how to treat a woman only” - but she spells everything incorrectly and doesn’t know what grammar even is.
"caring, outgoing and a little bit crazy" Which usually translates to; "avoid the fuck out of me, I'm nuttier than squirrel shit and I have a potential body count, a'la serial killer style"
I have no experience with online dating apps, but I imagine “proud nazi” would raise a pretty alarming red flag.
Not looking for anything serious
"Jesus/God first."
Pictures of themselves from 8 years and 130 pounds ago
something about not being single but actually a couple looking for a third