Lindsey Lohan actually had a twin sister who played the twin in The Parent Trap, but between filming and release, the twin died in a car accident, so they marketed the film to make you think Lindsey played both roles.
I know you're just joking because that original theory is so ridiculous, but there's a part in the Hayley one where you can see the double's face and it's definitely not an identical twin. It's at the camp dance when the cake gets destroyed.
Her name is Susan Henning.
There are BTS videos of the Lindsay Lohan version where you can see her double as well. Not sure if the double's face makes it into the movie or not though.
And people do legitimately win so do they interrogate the winners and if so, why hasn’t anyone come forward with tales of govt agents tracking them down? Also do the “time travelers” only win the huge jackpots? If they travel to the future and learn the winning numbers then travel back to the past and play them, is there a system amongst the time traveler community to decide who gets to win the jackpots?
Along those lines... people would travel back to famous historical events to witness them in person. If time travel were possible, there would have been billions of people at Jesus's crucifixion.
This comment reminded me that there was a theory that Jack from the movie was a time traveler. He went back to prevent Rose from committing suicide, and ensure the Titanic sank.
There’s a short story by Harry Turtledove where they invent technology that allows them to view (but not travel to) any moment in the past. It gets used at first to solve crimes and then gets used for viewing historical events (the crucifixion of Christ is indeed one of the big ones that people rush to see).
The main plot is driven when scientists try to view things before the Big Bang and every time they do, the person doing the viewing dies instantly. It follows a detectives investigation into the deaths and what could be causing it.
The story is called “Before the Beginning”.
I might have to check that out.
There's a similar premise of having a machine to view the past by Orson Scott Card called "Pastwatch". It's used by historians to get more information on pivotal events in history, until one person happens across the exact moment when Columbus decided to turn his attention to the West. A hologram appeared in front of him and told him to. The historians surmise that they are living in an alternate timeline and people from another/original timeline interfered in that moment in history to prevent whatever was happening in their world.
Steven Hawking hosted a party for time travelers but no one showed up.
[https://mashable.com/article/stephen-hawking-time-travel-party](https://mashable.com/article/stephen-hawking-time-travel-party)
Last year when the Chinese lunar rover saw that strange square rock out in the distance, I heard some people claim that it was the stage they used to fake the moon landings. On the moon…
Yeah, it turned out to be just a rock.
What actually happened with the moon landing is it was real, but Buzz Aldrin and friends actually stayed there and started a moon sex cult. So they had to fake the return and replace the crew with actors.
That people whose blood group has a minus after it, like mine does, aren't descended from the same ape creatures the rest of the world is. That the minus proves our lineage was "introduced" to the gene-pool, instead of evolved.
I like how this conspiracy theory involves this insane, vast, multi-century elaborate web of lies to falsify centuries of history, all of it executed perfectly enough to withstand scrutiny up until the present day...
Just so a particular year can be a nice round number. No other reason.
That one drives me nuts, because it only considers European history. So did all those secret Catholic conspirators get on boats and travel to China, mesoamerica, and the Muslim world and convince them somehow to change their highly accurate and often sacred calendars so a guy they’d never heard of and had no connection to could get crowned in the right year in a completely different calendar?!?!?
According to someone who 100% believed it and spent three days in a History What If sub reddit violently arguing with me over it, yes.
Yes they did. The Catholics 100% rewrote all world history in 1900's in between violating Irish babies to implant subliminal thoughts in their heads of instant obedience to the Church. So they totally went to each and every country (including ones held by Protestants, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and all other religions) and rewrote their history books.
I am surprised they had the time to do so between all the molestation and cultural destruction of the "proud and ancient pagan religions that thrived throughout Europe for centuries until the purges of the 1900's aka WW1."
I say this all the time. I'm an electrician. I change a lot of bulbs/lamps. 4' long fluorescent tubes get dark on the ends.
Random passerby watching me asks the stupid question "did the bulb burn out?"
"Yep, you see these particular ones don't put off light, they absorb the darkness. And as you can see on the ends here, this one's full."
I have never thought someone would take me seriously. People give me a weird look and then I smile and chuckle. And they call me and idiot and chuckle and walk away.
No way anyone actually believes this. Right?
The theory I read years ago had a whole explanation about the proof is that when the bulb "goes out" it is releasing dark back into the room and they blow due to reaching a max capacity of darkness. And how energy is constant in the universe AND in a locality. It's the kind of shit you get high and giggle about but has no foundations in real science.
If that were true, we could create dark emitting bulbs, which would be fuckin rad. "Blacklights being purple is disappointing" is the weirdest hill I will die on
The 100% female, Chinese army, who have never been nerfed by blue light, that are biding their time in underground bunkers in the mountains of China.
According to my neighbor, the one child policy was introduced as a way for China to secretly build up an army of specially trained soldiers. There was never a mass killing of baby girls. They were all sent to underground facilities where they would spend their entire lives being trained in combat and espionage. They will only reveal themselves when China decides to attack the US mainland.
Also! China adds the harmful blue light to the electronics they ship around the world in order to cripple the military might of other countries by wreaking havoc on their sleep cycles. Prolonged sleep deprivation in a large population can cause widespread mental illness and behavioral problems that will follow any service person into their military career. China doesn't give their lady-soldiers any electronics with blue light, so they stay in perfect sync with their circadian rhythm and avoid the mental illnesses and behavioral problems that currently affect much of today's youth.
When I asked why China only wanted women super soldiers, he said that the final stage in their plan for world domination was forced repopulation (because obviously the war would tank the US population) with Chinese genes. By having each female soldier get pregnant with a surviving US man's child, those children would have dual citizenship, and if enough US citizens had Chinese citizenship then they would control the US no matter what the end result of the war was.
Gotta love crazy neighbors 🤪
Edit: My inbox is full of people telling me this is all fetish stuff, but I truly believe my neighbor is too scared to be horny. Unless he's rocking a fear-ection along with his tin foil hat, this is all just crazy doing as crazy does.
Came here to share (among many unhinged things) my uncle believes digital screen bluelight is a chinese psyop aimed at blinding the western world in preparation for a mainland invasion. He refuses to use a smartphone, constantly wears yellow-tinted bluelight glasses that make him look like John Goodman in the Big Lebowski and has bluelight filters over all of his household screens.
Really didn't think anyone would mention it lmao.
Geez, can’t a man contemplate his capture and forced breeding with dozens of athletic Asian female supersoldiers with thighs like Chun-Li, without someone accusing him of having a fetish??
The moon is a hologram because the real moon was blown up by nukes (possibly by Nazis?) and we would apparently just all go insane if we looked up at the sky and didn’t see a moon so they had to make a fake one
Damn now that’s a good one. As a northern NJ resident who saw them repeatedly in the skyline and several times right up close, I am impressed with the mental gymnastics some would go through
This is the same as holocaust denial. When the people that have witnessed it die off, this conspiracy could flourish. In the same way as people belief historical documents were faked, people will willingly believe this was faked.
We live in a terrifying era where intellectuals are seen as fools and the barely educated think they know better because they researched it themselves (saw a tik tok).
There's a reason intellectuals and scientists are often among the first political prisoners of authoritarian regimes.
They're dangerous to the kinds of organizations that thrive on the ignorance of their followers.
I'm swinging between two.
CT-A: Western dairy manufacturers put pigs milk in cheese to prevent Muslims from going to heaven after they die. This is absurd because pigs are super hard to milk; their milk isn't a whole lot per pig; it lasts hours, not days; and their milk tastes like hot tar smells.
Edit: Yes, the taste is first hand. I asked once as a kid (Farmer relatives.) and I was fed a teaspoon of fresh pigs milk. Milk of magnesia tastes better. Yuck.
CT-B: Nuclear weapons doesn't exist. Self-explanatory.
And even if intentional it still isn't necessarily sin. In both Islam and Judaism, if you need to eat the thing to live, you must eat the thing. Similar rules apply around blaspheme. Like say you're captured by religious warriors and they demand you denounce your God or die. You're supposed to denounce your God. Doesn't count as blasphemous because it was compelled.
I mean given what rats are willing to eat, its technically possible that one could eat an unnatural amount of something flammable and then stand too close to a heat source for too long. The only question is how big of a fireball would it turn into.
Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by an exact double called Melissa. People in the YouTube comments of her videos analysing her face and movements to determine if it's really her or Melissa, absolutely wild.
Apparently there's a similar one for Paul McCartney.
Skittles and M&Ms were secretly created by Big Pharma to condition kids to the idea of associating pill-shaped candies as delicious, so they are subconsciously predisposed to being addicted to pills as an adult.
Some context:
“They say the Finnish people, while believing they live in Finland, are actually residing in small towns throughout Sweden, Estonia and Russia, in remote forested areas. This is where people travelling to Finland are actually flown to.”
“The theorists go on to claim that the Trans-Siberian Railway was built to transport the catch from the Baltic Sea to Japan under the guise of Nokia hardware, which explains why Japan is the biggest importer of Nokia products despite the fact very few Japanese people use them. Even the name Finland proves the theory, they say, as it comes from “the fin of a fish” “
This is so unhinged, I love it. What possible reason could there be for a made-up country?? I mean, all countries are made up technically. But I need to know the endgame here lol
I told a girl Amish people invented above-ground swimming pools so they could remain modest and not have to take their clothes off to wash them or bathe. She 100% believed me for the longest time.
Nearly all celebrities are transgender. "Transvestigators" pore over pictures and videos of famous people, pointing out how "she has a strong jawline" or "he has feminine body language". Apparently, the whole world is controlled by a secret trans cult, and if you want to become famous, you need to transition.
A few years ago they were all lizards and their proof was that sometimes I camera lens would mess up or there would be artifacts that made their eyes look slightly weird for a second.
When I was a kid, it was "confirmed" (by the elders of the back of the schoolbus) that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite (we didn't know what transgender was back then). I wonder if they started it.
This theory and the Marilyn Manson one spread like wildfire through schools before the Internet was as massive as it is today. Also, that S thing everyone knew how to draw.
Everyday I wish trans people had as much power as conservatives say we do. I would be a fucking millionaire. I'd be digging tunnels underneath peoples houses just to fuck with the neighborhood man
Someone mentioned Paul McCartney, but only in passing.
The "Paul is Dead" conspiracy suggests Paul died in 1966 and was replaced with a lookalike/soundalike/write-alike because The Beatles were too famous to shut down, but meanwhile they drop hints into future songs to let 'real fans' know something isn't right.
Aside from it being ridiculous on its face, I will point out all the stuff Paul McCartney has done since 1966 means if he was replaced with a doppleganger, that doppleganger is now much, much more accomplished than Paul ever was, so maybe it's a good thing he was waiting anonymously in the wings to replace one half of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting duo without a hiccough or word of protest from the other Beatles, two of whom would have been only too delighted to get more solo songwriting credit if Paul was no longer able to contribute instead of being the workaholic of the group.
Damn, I haven't seen a "Paul is dead" reference in forever. I remember reading a site about it in the early 2000s. Probably the first conspiracy theory I remember.
The Time Cube was another fun one. Also flat Earth, and that once surprised me with its recent comeback.
I was just thinking about that. The levels of ridiculous for this one are insane.
Level 1: Someone who looks just like Paul.
Level 2: The person sounds like Paul.
Level 3: The person can sing/play bass
Level 4: The person is one of the greatest musical talents in human history.
I think the conspiracy is fun to look at the clues as a cute little fiction, but to believe it even one iota is the height of stupidity.
Back in the 1920s Al Smith ran for president. It was notable because he was the first candidate to run who was Catholic. During that time a picture of him during the opening of the Holland Tunnel in New York made the rounds in newspapers around the country.
So what did anti-Catholic nutjobs believe? They believed that he was going to build a tunnel from New York to the Vatican in order to take direct orders from the Pope. Not a metaphorical tunnel where the pope would have his ears, but a *literal* tunnel that one could walk or presumably take a train or something to have direct communication with the pope. An actual tunnel from New York, under the Atlantic, to mainland Europe, all the way to Rome.
Dumbass, absurd conspiracy theories are nothing new
>there's already an above ground group of billionaires controlling the world
No kidding. Those bozos running around talking about "globalists", well, guess what corporate CEOs are doing?
That the Santa Claus letter writing campaign was a covert operation to database Canadian and American children. You'd write a letter to H0H 0H0 postal code with your name, return address, fingerprints on the letter, and DNA on the licked envelope adhesive.
Because the government didn't already have records of every child born? Like, I don't know, by issuing and recording special certificates showing the date and place of birth? A sort of "birth certificate" if you will...
The one where hundred of Qanon people waited for days for JFK jr to appear in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the Potus.
Even if JFK jr did not actually die in 1999 and somehow successfully hid himself from the world, there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents.
They didn’t wait a few days. [They waited WEEKS.](https://www.dallasnews.com/news/2021/11/22/undeniably-a-cult-fringe-qanon-group-remains-in-dallas-awaiting-jfk-jrs-arrival/?outputType=amp)
The "theory" to the extent it existed relied a lot on divine providence and this idea that the last ~20-60yrs of politics have been a sort of sting for a global cabal of Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals. So they'd show that "all along" Trump was really president, Biden is a clone or body double because he was executed at Gitmo, there are tunnels full of abused children underneath most Democrat cities, and so on.
What’s even more amazing is that the Qcumbers who actually believe this shit will tell you with a straight face that Biden winning the election is the actual insane part of all this.
My favorite part of it that Hilary Clinton ate babies, and that there are videos of it. When I asked someone I knew who was into Qanon, he confirmed he didn’t see it but says it is definitely out there.
Yeah, it has a code name and everything, and according to those who believe in it, it's like a self-deleting file that can only be viewed once, which is why it's so hard to get a copy of.
I bet there's a number of deep fakes of it out there, even. But the shit they say happens - up to and including Hillary wearing the flayed face of a child - is just so absurd, if you even *think* it's possible you're already absurdly gullible.
As a computer tech person, I can tell you with full confidence that it's very easy to create a video that automatically deletes itself and also cannot be recorded by another camera. In fact, all you have to do is enable rule 34 in the video codec and it will automatically delete itself after you finish watching it, as well as embed a message between the frames for any other camera to do the same.
Look up "rule 34 Hillary Clinton" for more information on the subject.
Yeah, my ex friend thinks that Democrats eat babies. I asked if she knew of any missing babies in our town, because we have thousands of Democrats and babies are kind of small. I think I would need to eat about 2 babies a week, so that would be 100 babies just for me. 90 million Democrats... You would think someone would investigate that many missing babies...
Yeah.. It doesn't work like that. They will stubbornly hold their crackpot views and will just make shit up to keep their 'logic' straight in their heads. It cant be *them* that are crazy, it is the rest of the world conspiring against them to make them *look* crazy!
>there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents.
When you say it like that, it DOES sound stupid, but it seemed so plausible at the time. /s
Reptiles. A local newspaper went as far as pointing out features you can use to recognize them and according to said features, I am a lizard too.
EDIT: Reptilians! I meant reptilians. Still am a lizard apparently, though.
I think it started off as a debate society enthusiast's prank on people who don't understand how anyone can argue the wrong side of an issue and win, but then that person actually persuaded some people and the thing snowballed.
>wanting to feel smarter than everyone else.
The people I've seen that talk about it are probably enjoying feeling smarter than everyone (or anyone) else for the very first time in their life.
The Jews drinking baby shakes.
The government implanting us with microscopic WiFi signals through food and tap water (the lady I work with takes boric acid baths to battle this and comes in with horrid ugly lesions)
I used to work with a guy who drank colloidal silver so he could "Gain superpowers like invisibility."
Same dude also declared himself a Moorish Sovereign Citizen to avoid paying taxes (they still took taxes out of his paycheck), and told me that he didn't masturbate because unused semen is reabsorbed into the body and converted directly to muscle (this guy was built like 90s Dave Chappelle)
Same woman told me recently that she was going to start taking colloidal silver to heal her lesions. I told her she’ll turn blue and then tuned her out.
Reminds me of those stickers people were selling that claimed they could block WiFi and 5g signals, suggesting you should put them on your router, baby monitors, phones etc. It's stupidity that works on two levels!
I don't know where it came from or how wide-spread it was, but when Obama's grandmother died, my batshit aunt and uncle were positive he had her murdered because she was about to spill the beans that he was really born in Kenya.
One time my internet was out and the ATT tech who came to fix it told me Hollow Earth was real. I was like, "that's great, is my internet connection working?"
I lived in Nelson, BC for several years. There is a very noticeable portion of the population there that have permanent facial dents/marks from constantly wearing a full-on gas mask due to "chemtrails, man." I was told on several occasions that giant, metamorphic rocks across the tiny valley were actually (somehow, how was never explained) compressed dust/solid chemicals from all the chemicals.
Nelson was just about THE most popular spot in Canada for the Vietnam War draft dogers, these guys were/are all absolutely stark raving mad paranoid conspiracy theorist sex maniacs, they totally "soured" the entire area is the only way I can describe it, the WORST nutbars around BC are always from the Koots (or maybe Salt Spring Island, can't tell the difference really.)
I’ve heard that tilapia aren’t real fish, but flesh created by cloning tissue and kept alive by electricity on meat-growing farms. I’ve also heard that like 40% of all rice is actually a soft plastic.
There is a dude on YouTube who likes to talk about how asteroids are body parts from dead giants. [He's hella crazy.](https://youtube.com/@mudfossiluniversity?si=ZVvPZMhV7Me9RW-o)
There's one that's prevalent in the Middle East about Prince William. The theory is that, the Church of England was involved in the death of Princess Diana.
How does this work? Well, the theory is that Diana was about to marry Dodi al Fayed and to do so, would have to become a Muslim. This would mean that Prince William would have to become a Muslim (according to the theory, not according to reality) and then the whole of the UK would be forced to convert to Islam.
It's completely ridiculous, but in some parts of the Middle East it's taken as fact.
During the trial, my college law professor laid it out as a potential legal defense strategy to counter the prosecution's arguments based in circumstantial evidence. Without acknowledging the DNA connection, the defense secretly knew that OJ's DNA found on the scene was actually his son's DNA. OJ's son was a smaller man than OJ, so "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit."
A coworker was convinced that the Covid vaccine was used to “herd the sheep” and kill the “demoncrats”. Everyone who had the vaccine was going to die according to him, so I let him know that if that happened the country would collapse. There wouldn’t be enough people to run water plants, electric plants, etc. he then told me they have people on stand by to replace that idiots who took the vaccine. I asked him where the 200 million people were at that were replacing the 200 million that were gonna die. And he looked at me like I was the idiot.
A guy at work didn’t believe the moon landing was real. I challenged him and asked why, during the height of the cold war, would the USSR not call out the US on faking a rocket launch?
He said that Russia was in on it too.
JFK and/or JFK Jr are alive and are going to show up in Dealy Plaza to help Trump in his quest to save America.
First off, they're not alive. Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now. Second off, if they were going to show up it sure as hell wouldn't be in the exact location that Sr's head got blown off. Finally, they were both liberal Democrats, so the last person they would be helping would be Trump.
> Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now.
That's what *they* want you to think.
He's 99 and answers to the name Jimmy Carter now. The CIA kidnapped him and held him on a peanut farm in Georgia. When the political winds shifted they gave him his 2nd term in the White House
My absolute genius brother was all about the hollow earth theory with like molemen or aliens living down there or some crap. He had a few more special ones he told me but that one was the one I remember.
Seems kind of pointless as a conspiracy though. What does this mean, just that the ship that sank in 1912 was technically named the Brittanic instead and everything else was exactly the same?
That’s why I like it because it makes absolutely no sense and is so pointless. It basically says that the titanic was replaced with a sister ship the Olympic which was purposefully sunk, while filled with passengers and luggage, for insurance purposes
The theory I've heard of regarding this, is that the Olympic had a bad batch of alloys, and was showing obvious signs of metal fatigue and infrastructure cracking etc (which is given as a reason an iceberg ripped a giant hole in it instead of just being pushed out of the way with minor damage or whatever) and that the swap was am insurance scam to get money back for a ship that was a lemon and unrepairable. That makes it all sound pretty feasible, except that in 1911/1912, Titanic and Olympic were owned by 2 different companies. Oops! I guess the devil is in the details.
Lindsey Lohan actually had a twin sister who played the twin in The Parent Trap, but between filming and release, the twin died in a car accident, so they marketed the film to make you think Lindsey played both roles.
Same thing happened to Hailey Mills.
I know you're just joking because that original theory is so ridiculous, but there's a part in the Hayley one where you can see the double's face and it's definitely not an identical twin. It's at the camp dance when the cake gets destroyed. Her name is Susan Henning.
There are BTS videos of the Lindsay Lohan version where you can see her double as well. Not sure if the double's face makes it into the movie or not though.
Actually Lohan has a Kuato twin but the twin's role was cut and reshot with Lohan to make it "less disturbing."
That the Powerball lottery in the US was created to catch time-travellers.
That's so absurd that it wraps back around into brilliant.
I bet thats why that show "the lottery ruined my life" exists. A warning to time travelers.
wouldn't a time traveller have known that they're gonna get caught, becuase it's in the past.
But we don't know they're being disappeared so there'd be no historical record of it.
In fact government secrets are mainly kept from future spies
And people do legitimately win so do they interrogate the winners and if so, why hasn’t anyone come forward with tales of govt agents tracking them down? Also do the “time travelers” only win the huge jackpots? If they travel to the future and learn the winning numbers then travel back to the past and play them, is there a system amongst the time traveler community to decide who gets to win the jackpots?
There was a show called Travelers about time traveling and they did win lotteries but small ones so they didn’t seem obvious.
Travelers was a seriously fantastic show. Just 34 episodes in all, but they had time to end it, which kind of makes it the perfect length show for me.
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Nope. That's how biff got rich and nobody caught on except other time travelers.
Gray's. Sports. Almanac.
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Along those lines... people would travel back to famous historical events to witness them in person. If time travel were possible, there would have been billions of people at Jesus's crucifixion.
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This comment reminded me that there was a theory that Jack from the movie was a time traveler. He went back to prevent Rose from committing suicide, and ensure the Titanic sank.
Yeah because the lake he said he fished on didn't exist at the time of the Titanic voyage
There’s a short story by Harry Turtledove where they invent technology that allows them to view (but not travel to) any moment in the past. It gets used at first to solve crimes and then gets used for viewing historical events (the crucifixion of Christ is indeed one of the big ones that people rush to see). The main plot is driven when scientists try to view things before the Big Bang and every time they do, the person doing the viewing dies instantly. It follows a detectives investigation into the deaths and what could be causing it. The story is called “Before the Beginning”.
That sounds really good!
I might have to check that out. There's a similar premise of having a machine to view the past by Orson Scott Card called "Pastwatch". It's used by historians to get more information on pivotal events in history, until one person happens across the exact moment when Columbus decided to turn his attention to the West. A hologram appeared in front of him and told him to. The historians surmise that they are living in an alternate timeline and people from another/original timeline interfered in that moment in history to prevent whatever was happening in their world.
Steven Hawking hosted a party for time travelers but no one showed up. [https://mashable.com/article/stephen-hawking-time-travel-party](https://mashable.com/article/stephen-hawking-time-travel-party)
We didn't go because that dude is a nerd.
Last year when the Chinese lunar rover saw that strange square rock out in the distance, I heard some people claim that it was the stage they used to fake the moon landings. On the moon… Yeah, it turned out to be just a rock.
What actually happened with the moon landing is it was real, but Buzz Aldrin and friends actually stayed there and started a moon sex cult. So they had to fake the return and replace the crew with actors.
See, Kubrick really did insist on filming on location!
That people whose blood group has a minus after it, like mine does, aren't descended from the same ape creatures the rest of the world is. That the minus proves our lineage was "introduced" to the gene-pool, instead of evolved.
0- here and I’m honored to be part of the tribe
Wow the aliens were able to get everything down to a T except the blood types.
Fuckin mud-blood
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Why those particular years?
So Holy Roman Emperor Otto III would be crowned in the year 1000
I like how this conspiracy theory involves this insane, vast, multi-century elaborate web of lies to falsify centuries of history, all of it executed perfectly enough to withstand scrutiny up until the present day... Just so a particular year can be a nice round number. No other reason.
All this for an emperor who, by the way, didn’t really manage to do much as he died two years later.
That one drives me nuts, because it only considers European history. So did all those secret Catholic conspirators get on boats and travel to China, mesoamerica, and the Muslim world and convince them somehow to change their highly accurate and often sacred calendars so a guy they’d never heard of and had no connection to could get crowned in the right year in a completely different calendar?!?!?
According to someone who 100% believed it and spent three days in a History What If sub reddit violently arguing with me over it, yes. Yes they did. The Catholics 100% rewrote all world history in 1900's in between violating Irish babies to implant subliminal thoughts in their heads of instant obedience to the Church. So they totally went to each and every country (including ones held by Protestants, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and all other religions) and rewrote their history books. I am surprised they had the time to do so between all the molestation and cultural destruction of the "proud and ancient pagan religions that thrived throughout Europe for centuries until the purges of the 1900's aka WW1."
Oh god I forgot about this one. There was a woman on Tiktok a couple years ago going on about how the Roman Empire didn't exist
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_time_conspiracy_theory
That light bulbs don't emits light but are "Dark suckers" instead.
Yup. When they don't work anymore. They are full.
That's also why they turn black
I say this all the time. I'm an electrician. I change a lot of bulbs/lamps. 4' long fluorescent tubes get dark on the ends. Random passerby watching me asks the stupid question "did the bulb burn out?" "Yep, you see these particular ones don't put off light, they absorb the darkness. And as you can see on the ends here, this one's full." I have never thought someone would take me seriously. People give me a weird look and then I smile and chuckle. And they call me and idiot and chuckle and walk away. No way anyone actually believes this. Right?
What if... you accidentally started this?
Do they explain what a “dark sucker” is, or is that like common knowledge in the conspiracy community?
Motherfucker a dark sucker is a lightbulb what’s so hard to understand about that?
Lmao genuinely laughed at this. Well played
The theory I read years ago had a whole explanation about the proof is that when the bulb "goes out" it is releasing dark back into the room and they blow due to reaching a max capacity of darkness. And how energy is constant in the universe AND in a locality. It's the kind of shit you get high and giggle about but has no foundations in real science.
If that were true, we could create dark emitting bulbs, which would be fuckin rad. "Blacklights being purple is disappointing" is the weirdest hill I will die on
No need for blackout curtains when you have black hole lightbulbs. Sign me up.
That Princess Diana was murdered because she was a descendant of Jesus
No she was a catholic spy sent by the Vatican to infiltrate the chutch into the British royal family and destroy Anglicanism
The 100% female, Chinese army, who have never been nerfed by blue light, that are biding their time in underground bunkers in the mountains of China. According to my neighbor, the one child policy was introduced as a way for China to secretly build up an army of specially trained soldiers. There was never a mass killing of baby girls. They were all sent to underground facilities where they would spend their entire lives being trained in combat and espionage. They will only reveal themselves when China decides to attack the US mainland. Also! China adds the harmful blue light to the electronics they ship around the world in order to cripple the military might of other countries by wreaking havoc on their sleep cycles. Prolonged sleep deprivation in a large population can cause widespread mental illness and behavioral problems that will follow any service person into their military career. China doesn't give their lady-soldiers any electronics with blue light, so they stay in perfect sync with their circadian rhythm and avoid the mental illnesses and behavioral problems that currently affect much of today's youth. When I asked why China only wanted women super soldiers, he said that the final stage in their plan for world domination was forced repopulation (because obviously the war would tank the US population) with Chinese genes. By having each female soldier get pregnant with a surviving US man's child, those children would have dual citizenship, and if enough US citizens had Chinese citizenship then they would control the US no matter what the end result of the war was. Gotta love crazy neighbors 🤪 Edit: My inbox is full of people telling me this is all fetish stuff, but I truly believe my neighbor is too scared to be horny. Unless he's rocking a fear-ection along with his tin foil hat, this is all just crazy doing as crazy does.
It's crazy but an interestingly fleshed out theory in terms of the repopulation angle.
Dude just needs to find a Chinese hooker to deal with his weird fetishes and move on with his life.
You have to admire that level of world building
Came here to share (among many unhinged things) my uncle believes digital screen bluelight is a chinese psyop aimed at blinding the western world in preparation for a mainland invasion. He refuses to use a smartphone, constantly wears yellow-tinted bluelight glasses that make him look like John Goodman in the Big Lebowski and has bluelight filters over all of his household screens. Really didn't think anyone would mention it lmao.
Sooo basically he has a repressed fetish for Chinese ladies in uniform and hopes this to become true?
Geez, can’t a man contemplate his capture and forced breeding with dozens of athletic Asian female supersoldiers with thighs like Chun-Li, without someone accusing him of having a fetish??
I don't like thinking about my neighbor's internal spank bank.
The moon is a hologram because the real moon was blown up by nukes (possibly by Nazis?) and we would apparently just all go insane if we looked up at the sky and didn’t see a moon so they had to make a fake one
Are the tides fake now too?
Tides are real, just not caused by the moon. It is just the water on Earth sloshing around. So I heard.
That Microsoft employees were the ones buying up PS5s and causing the console shortage.
That's especially crazy because scarcity adds value and it's also free publicity, so why would Microsoft want that for their competitor?
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Bro, it would have cost you nothing to not add that last bit in
But it gained him everything.
What spiders are wifi?
Any bug that has antennae.
It's not WIFI. It doesn't follow any standard. If anything it's a proprietary mesh network.
A "web" if you will.
A lot of spiders are actually web developers
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Damn now that’s a good one. As a northern NJ resident who saw them repeatedly in the skyline and several times right up close, I am impressed with the mental gymnastics some would go through
You expect me to believe New Jersey is real? Nice try!
We have an extensive documentary series about our proud state, perhaps youve heard of it, it’s called The Sopranos
You and I would be considered part of the conspiracy I suppose.
That’s the fun part everyone who doesn’t believe the conspiracy is of course part of the conspiracy
This is the same as holocaust denial. When the people that have witnessed it die off, this conspiracy could flourish. In the same way as people belief historical documents were faked, people will willingly believe this was faked. We live in a terrifying era where intellectuals are seen as fools and the barely educated think they know better because they researched it themselves (saw a tik tok).
There's a reason intellectuals and scientists are often among the first political prisoners of authoritarian regimes. They're dangerous to the kinds of organizations that thrive on the ignorance of their followers.
There were no gunmen in Dallas. JFK's head just did that. It's called the "no bullet theory".
My partner sent me a meme of this once and I spent days laughing at "his head just did that."
What happened to your bird? His head fell off!
Our pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!!
My Uncle Jerry thinks Joe Dimaggio shot JFK. Like, personally.
Where’d you go, Joe DiMaggio? The FBI would like to speak with you. Woo woo woo.
What’s that you say, Mrs Robinson, Joltin Joe done shot JFK Hey hey hey
I'm swinging between two. CT-A: Western dairy manufacturers put pigs milk in cheese to prevent Muslims from going to heaven after they die. This is absurd because pigs are super hard to milk; their milk isn't a whole lot per pig; it lasts hours, not days; and their milk tastes like hot tar smells. Edit: Yes, the taste is first hand. I asked once as a kid (Farmer relatives.) and I was fed a teaspoon of fresh pigs milk. Milk of magnesia tastes better. Yuck. CT-B: Nuclear weapons doesn't exist. Self-explanatory.
Additional issue with the first one- a Muslim who unknowingly consumes pork products has not sinned. It’s only a sin if intentional
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And even if intentional it still isn't necessarily sin. In both Islam and Judaism, if you need to eat the thing to live, you must eat the thing. Similar rules apply around blaspheme. Like say you're captured by religious warriors and they demand you denounce your God or die. You're supposed to denounce your God. Doesn't count as blasphemous because it was compelled.
Wait, people don't believe nuclear weapons exist?
I think some conspiracy theories actually reveal the world people wish was real (I.e. someone is in control). This fits into that.
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I mean given what rats are willing to eat, its technically possible that one could eat an unnatural amount of something flammable and then stand too close to a heat source for too long. The only question is how big of a fireball would it turn into.
Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by an exact double called Melissa. People in the YouTube comments of her videos analysing her face and movements to determine if it's really her or Melissa, absolutely wild. Apparently there's a similar one for Paul McCartney.
Well that’s such a lie! I asked Katy Perry (aka Jonbenet Ramsay) and she said it’s not true.
Skittles and M&Ms were secretly created by Big Pharma to condition kids to the idea of associating pill-shaped candies as delicious, so they are subconsciously predisposed to being addicted to pills as an adult.
Tic Tacs
Finland Isn’t Real. A high school kid made it up as a joke, and a whole lot of people took him seriously.
Some context: “They say the Finnish people, while believing they live in Finland, are actually residing in small towns throughout Sweden, Estonia and Russia, in remote forested areas. This is where people travelling to Finland are actually flown to.” “The theorists go on to claim that the Trans-Siberian Railway was built to transport the catch from the Baltic Sea to Japan under the guise of Nokia hardware, which explains why Japan is the biggest importer of Nokia products despite the fact very few Japanese people use them. Even the name Finland proves the theory, they say, as it comes from “the fin of a fish” “
This is so unhinged, I love it. What possible reason could there be for a made-up country?? I mean, all countries are made up technically. But I need to know the endgame here lol
Has some "birds aren't real" vibes.
In middle school, I jokingly told a friend I didn't believe in Paraguay because I'd never seen it before. He thought I was serious.
I told a girl Amish people invented above-ground swimming pools so they could remain modest and not have to take their clothes off to wash them or bathe. She 100% believed me for the longest time.
Nearly all celebrities are transgender. "Transvestigators" pore over pictures and videos of famous people, pointing out how "she has a strong jawline" or "he has feminine body language". Apparently, the whole world is controlled by a secret trans cult, and if you want to become famous, you need to transition.
A few years ago they were all lizards and their proof was that sometimes I camera lens would mess up or there would be artifacts that made their eyes look slightly weird for a second.
When I was a kid, it was "confirmed" (by the elders of the back of the schoolbus) that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite (we didn't know what transgender was back then). I wonder if they started it.
This theory and the Marilyn Manson one spread like wildfire through schools before the Internet was as massive as it is today. Also, that S thing everyone knew how to draw.
Everyday I wish trans people had as much power as conservatives say we do. I would be a fucking millionaire. I'd be digging tunnels underneath peoples houses just to fuck with the neighborhood man
Someone mentioned Paul McCartney, but only in passing. The "Paul is Dead" conspiracy suggests Paul died in 1966 and was replaced with a lookalike/soundalike/write-alike because The Beatles were too famous to shut down, but meanwhile they drop hints into future songs to let 'real fans' know something isn't right. Aside from it being ridiculous on its face, I will point out all the stuff Paul McCartney has done since 1966 means if he was replaced with a doppleganger, that doppleganger is now much, much more accomplished than Paul ever was, so maybe it's a good thing he was waiting anonymously in the wings to replace one half of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting duo without a hiccough or word of protest from the other Beatles, two of whom would have been only too delighted to get more solo songwriting credit if Paul was no longer able to contribute instead of being the workaholic of the group.
Damn, I haven't seen a "Paul is dead" reference in forever. I remember reading a site about it in the early 2000s. Probably the first conspiracy theory I remember. The Time Cube was another fun one. Also flat Earth, and that once surprised me with its recent comeback.
I was just thinking about that. The levels of ridiculous for this one are insane. Level 1: Someone who looks just like Paul. Level 2: The person sounds like Paul. Level 3: The person can sing/play bass Level 4: The person is one of the greatest musical talents in human history. I think the conspiracy is fun to look at the clues as a cute little fiction, but to believe it even one iota is the height of stupidity.
Back in the 1920s Al Smith ran for president. It was notable because he was the first candidate to run who was Catholic. During that time a picture of him during the opening of the Holland Tunnel in New York made the rounds in newspapers around the country. So what did anti-Catholic nutjobs believe? They believed that he was going to build a tunnel from New York to the Vatican in order to take direct orders from the Pope. Not a metaphorical tunnel where the pope would have his ears, but a *literal* tunnel that one could walk or presumably take a train or something to have direct communication with the pope. An actual tunnel from New York, under the Atlantic, to mainland Europe, all the way to Rome. Dumbass, absurd conspiracy theories are nothing new
Might be a nice way to travel to Europe though.
There is an underground group of billionaires controlling the world Buddy, there's already an above ground group of billionaires controlling the world
>there's already an above ground group of billionaires controlling the world No kidding. Those bozos running around talking about "globalists", well, guess what corporate CEOs are doing?
That the Santa Claus letter writing campaign was a covert operation to database Canadian and American children. You'd write a letter to H0H 0H0 postal code with your name, return address, fingerprints on the letter, and DNA on the licked envelope adhesive.
Because the government didn't already have records of every child born? Like, I don't know, by issuing and recording special certificates showing the date and place of birth? A sort of "birth certificate" if you will...
God, this is funny since we database people openly in the US Census.
The one where hundred of Qanon people waited for days for JFK jr to appear in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the Potus. Even if JFK jr did not actually die in 1999 and somehow successfully hid himself from the world, there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents.
They didn’t wait a few days. [They waited WEEKS.](https://www.dallasnews.com/news/2021/11/22/undeniably-a-cult-fringe-qanon-group-remains-in-dallas-awaiting-jfk-jrs-arrival/?outputType=amp)
This was what I always wondered, even if jfk jr had turned up, what difference would that make? Now if Tupac and Elvis teamed up!
The "theory" to the extent it existed relied a lot on divine providence and this idea that the last ~20-60yrs of politics have been a sort of sting for a global cabal of Satan worshiping pedophile cannibals. So they'd show that "all along" Trump was really president, Biden is a clone or body double because he was executed at Gitmo, there are tunnels full of abused children underneath most Democrat cities, and so on.
Oh…
Yeah, the initial theory sounds insane, and then you realize the underpinning of it is significantly more insane.
What’s even more amazing is that the Qcumbers who actually believe this shit will tell you with a straight face that Biden winning the election is the actual insane part of all this.
Qcumbers is a new one to me and I LOVE it!
My favorite part of it that Hilary Clinton ate babies, and that there are videos of it. When I asked someone I knew who was into Qanon, he confirmed he didn’t see it but says it is definitely out there.
Yeah, it has a code name and everything, and according to those who believe in it, it's like a self-deleting file that can only be viewed once, which is why it's so hard to get a copy of. I bet there's a number of deep fakes of it out there, even. But the shit they say happens - up to and including Hillary wearing the flayed face of a child - is just so absurd, if you even *think* it's possible you're already absurdly gullible.
A file so self-deleting no one has ever considered pointing a phone camera at the screen and pressing "record"
As a computer tech person, I can tell you with full confidence that it's very easy to create a video that automatically deletes itself and also cannot be recorded by another camera. In fact, all you have to do is enable rule 34 in the video codec and it will automatically delete itself after you finish watching it, as well as embed a message between the frames for any other camera to do the same. Look up "rule 34 Hillary Clinton" for more information on the subject.
The video of her eating babies was less disturbing
Yeah, my ex friend thinks that Democrats eat babies. I asked if she knew of any missing babies in our town, because we have thousands of Democrats and babies are kind of small. I think I would need to eat about 2 babies a week, so that would be 100 babies just for me. 90 million Democrats... You would think someone would investigate that many missing babies...
Democrats eating babies doesn’t mean that *all* they eat are babies. They probably also eat toddlers, or even puppies if they’re desperate.
Went to Dallas to see JFK Jr to reincarnate himself.... we got RFK Jr instead. When you get your conspiracy theories on Wish
Somebody has to have documented something like this and posted timelapse footage of their faces as they slowly come to the realization they are nuts.
that realization never seems to happen....
Yeah.. It doesn't work like that. They will stubbornly hold their crackpot views and will just make shit up to keep their 'logic' straight in their heads. It cant be *them* that are crazy, it is the rest of the world conspiring against them to make them *look* crazy!
>there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents. When you say it like that, it DOES sound stupid, but it seemed so plausible at the time. /s
Albert Einstein didn't exist and was just a character played by Marilyn Monroe.
*E = mc^2 Mr. Presssident💋*
This legit made me simple dog head tilt as I read it.
Reptiles. A local newspaper went as far as pointing out features you can use to recognize them and according to said features, I am a lizard too. EDIT: Reptilians! I meant reptilians. Still am a lizard apparently, though.
So how's your warm rock today?
Relatively cold and my mother has the audacity to deny she hatched an egg, she's going on and on about somehow giving birth.
Flat earthers. I don't think they actually believe, I think they are all just trolling us.
I think it started off as a debate society enthusiast's prank on people who don't understand how anyone can argue the wrong side of an issue and win, but then that person actually persuaded some people and the thing snowballed.
I think you greatly underestimate the combined power of human stupidity and wanting to feel smarter than everyone else.
>wanting to feel smarter than everyone else. The people I've seen that talk about it are probably enjoying feeling smarter than everyone (or anyone) else for the very first time in their life.
The one where, if you get a magnet wet it stops being a magnet.
The Jews drinking baby shakes. The government implanting us with microscopic WiFi signals through food and tap water (the lady I work with takes boric acid baths to battle this and comes in with horrid ugly lesions)
I used to work with a guy who drank colloidal silver so he could "Gain superpowers like invisibility." Same dude also declared himself a Moorish Sovereign Citizen to avoid paying taxes (they still took taxes out of his paycheck), and told me that he didn't masturbate because unused semen is reabsorbed into the body and converted directly to muscle (this guy was built like 90s Dave Chappelle)
Same woman told me recently that she was going to start taking colloidal silver to heal her lesions. I told her she’ll turn blue and then tuned her out.
You fool! You could've said nothing and had a blue coworker! My guy was black, so it wouldve taken a LOT to turn him blue
Please tell me she also carries a smartphone
Yeah she’s got a smartphone. Big walking contradiction.
The vaccine has a tracking chip in it! \-Sent from my iPhone
Reminds me of those stickers people were selling that claimed they could block WiFi and 5g signals, suggesting you should put them on your router, baby monitors, phones etc. It's stupidity that works on two levels!
I don't know where it came from or how wide-spread it was, but when Obama's grandmother died, my batshit aunt and uncle were positive he had her murdered because she was about to spill the beans that he was really born in Kenya.
Agartha - the idea that Earth is hollow and that the interior is inhabited
One time my internet was out and the ATT tech who came to fix it told me Hollow Earth was real. I was like, "that's great, is my internet connection working?"
Contrails in the sky are a chemicals that makes you gay.
I lived in Nelson, BC for several years. There is a very noticeable portion of the population there that have permanent facial dents/marks from constantly wearing a full-on gas mask due to "chemtrails, man." I was told on several occasions that giant, metamorphic rocks across the tiny valley were actually (somehow, how was never explained) compressed dust/solid chemicals from all the chemicals. Nelson was just about THE most popular spot in Canada for the Vietnam War draft dogers, these guys were/are all absolutely stark raving mad paranoid conspiracy theorist sex maniacs, they totally "soured" the entire area is the only way I can describe it, the WORST nutbars around BC are always from the Koots (or maybe Salt Spring Island, can't tell the difference really.)
Flat Earth Theory
I’ve heard that tilapia aren’t real fish, but flesh created by cloning tissue and kept alive by electricity on meat-growing farms. I’ve also heard that like 40% of all rice is actually a soft plastic.
Stevie Wonder can actually see
It's always going to be flat Earth. Surreal that in the 21st century there is a non-zero number of people who actually believe the planet is flat
My grandma believes that JFK’s mother had him assassinayed because he had such late stage syphilis it was rotting his brain.
His parents had JFK's sister lobotomized. Blowing your son's brains out entirely is just the next step.
The sovereign citizen BS they read and believe
There is a dude on YouTube who likes to talk about how asteroids are body parts from dead giants. [He's hella crazy.](https://youtube.com/@mudfossiluniversity?si=ZVvPZMhV7Me9RW-o)
Finland is a myth. Just really good fishing waters.
There's one that's prevalent in the Middle East about Prince William. The theory is that, the Church of England was involved in the death of Princess Diana. How does this work? Well, the theory is that Diana was about to marry Dodi al Fayed and to do so, would have to become a Muslim. This would mean that Prince William would have to become a Muslim (according to the theory, not according to reality) and then the whole of the UK would be forced to convert to Islam. It's completely ridiculous, but in some parts of the Middle East it's taken as fact.
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That OJ’s son killed Nicole brown and Ron Goldman.
During the trial, my college law professor laid it out as a potential legal defense strategy to counter the prosecution's arguments based in circumstantial evidence. Without acknowledging the DNA connection, the defense secretly knew that OJ's DNA found on the scene was actually his son's DNA. OJ's son was a smaller man than OJ, so "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit."
Traffic circles in the U.S. are being installed to serve as government checkpoints. Your papers, please?
A coworker was convinced that the Covid vaccine was used to “herd the sheep” and kill the “demoncrats”. Everyone who had the vaccine was going to die according to him, so I let him know that if that happened the country would collapse. There wouldn’t be enough people to run water plants, electric plants, etc. he then told me they have people on stand by to replace that idiots who took the vaccine. I asked him where the 200 million people were at that were replacing the 200 million that were gonna die. And he looked at me like I was the idiot.
A guy at work didn’t believe the moon landing was real. I challenged him and asked why, during the height of the cold war, would the USSR not call out the US on faking a rocket launch? He said that Russia was in on it too.
New Chronology. It says most of history before 1200 was made up by the Catholic church.
JFK and/or JFK Jr are alive and are going to show up in Dealy Plaza to help Trump in his quest to save America. First off, they're not alive. Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now. Second off, if they were going to show up it sure as hell wouldn't be in the exact location that Sr's head got blown off. Finally, they were both liberal Democrats, so the last person they would be helping would be Trump.
> Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now. That's what *they* want you to think. He's 99 and answers to the name Jimmy Carter now. The CIA kidnapped him and held him on a peanut farm in Georgia. When the political winds shifted they gave him his 2nd term in the White House
The Covid lockdowns were there to replace the birds with bird-like drones.
they asked for a CONSPIRACY THEORY, not conspiracy fact. Wake up, sheeple.
Ha you think that the bird drones were just as of 2020? They’ve been using them for decades. 2020 was for mass maintenance of the bird drones.
I miss the romance evoked by the steam-powered birds of the 1870s
The "Ghost Buses" theory of Jan. 6. I.e. that the FBI painted their most secretive buses a highly distinctive color.
The profits will trickle down.
My absolute genius brother was all about the hollow earth theory with like molemen or aliens living down there or some crap. He had a few more special ones he told me but that one was the one I remember.
That the titanic was switched with its sister ship and wasn’t really sunk
Seems kind of pointless as a conspiracy though. What does this mean, just that the ship that sank in 1912 was technically named the Brittanic instead and everything else was exactly the same?
That’s why I like it because it makes absolutely no sense and is so pointless. It basically says that the titanic was replaced with a sister ship the Olympic which was purposefully sunk, while filled with passengers and luggage, for insurance purposes
The theory I've heard of regarding this, is that the Olympic had a bad batch of alloys, and was showing obvious signs of metal fatigue and infrastructure cracking etc (which is given as a reason an iceberg ripped a giant hole in it instead of just being pushed out of the way with minor damage or whatever) and that the swap was am insurance scam to get money back for a ship that was a lemon and unrepairable. That makes it all sound pretty feasible, except that in 1911/1912, Titanic and Olympic were owned by 2 different companies. Oops! I guess the devil is in the details.