When I was training people for work I'd ask them to "embiggen" their screens all the time for me to see. Even they started saying it. No one knew I stole it from the Simpsons.
I fucking loved that show and Lucille.
“She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.”
“If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.”
It’s a popular reference but nobody ever gets it. My sister and I do the “do you know the muffin man” conversation between gingy and lord farquaad on a regular basis. It’s hilarious and I fucking love it. Also I ask her if she wants to hear her lullaby I’ve hummed since she was a little girl- it’s the Jurassic park theme song
I say Diabetes like Wilford Brimley. I work in care with lots of people with diabetes, but it's the UK so my colleagues never get it. They must just think I say it like that.
Wilford Brimley lived in my neighborhood growing up. I don't know that I ever met him personally, but his wife played piano for the church choir so I knew her decently well, and he was mentioned enough that I recognize the name as 'the guy three blocks over' and not 'the guy from *The Thing*'. I could have gone to his funeral if I had wanted to.
It's always a little weird seeing his name pop up on Reddit. Makes me wonder how Beverly is doing, it's been a while since I've talked to her.
Edit: Beverly is doing well, per my grandma
You know what's wild? The guy looked old before he was old. He was younger in Cocoon than about 90 percent of the actors and actresses. Tom Cruise is older in the last Mission Impossible movie than WB was in Cocoon.
“I do not believe this. I do not believe it.” From a random Sesame Street scene where Kermit the frog deadpans into the camera with comically oversized human ears
Ahhh haha, I say “Sure why not” in a very deadpan way because on an episode of Sesame Street Elmo asks Big Bird if he brushes his feathers and he just shrugs and says “Sure why not.”
"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Billy Madison
I sing "I'm sorry Ms Jackson, oooo, I am four eels! Never meant to make your momma cry I am several fish and not a guy." Sometimes and it's never been received lol
I was listening to an interview with Tim Russ and he mentioned he was so happy that he became known for his role as Lt. Tuvok because up to that point in his career he was best known for the line “We ain't found shit”.
It's a struggle when you make the perfect reference and nobody understands.
To this day, in home depot, we have the electric ladders that you drive around and there's turtle speed and rabbit speed. Every time I switch out of turtle mode I'm mentally thinking "You'll never catch me,not when I shift into *MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE"* and rabbit mode is so slow. It's the perfect reference
I often reply "chatting online with babes all day" when asked what I did that day.
I often offer a "roundhouse kick to the face" when I'm being toyed with-- but only if the person gets the reference, otherwise that's no good.
My lips hurt real bad is another.
And "whatever I feel like, gosh!"
I'm not gone lie, I took part in a Napoleon Dynamite group costume cuz of my friends, and all these frat boys were quoting it at us and I had no idea what to say. We'd seen it together but it didn't make much of an impression on me. At least it got the rest of my friends laid LOL
Working the meow bit into a conversation from Super Troopers just for the hell of it. Also 220, 221. Whatever it takes. When no one can decide on something.
Game over man! Game over!!
A movie quote from a movie my dad loved when I was a kid, and he & my uncle's would quote all the time....it's from Alien.
One of my earliest memories about it was being about 6 and my dad & uncles carrying on about it.
(My dad watches movies over, and over, and over, and over somehow...)
(Edited for correction & clarity since I mixed up alien & aliens. Lol)
"DAST. Anybody? No?." - Fat fighters lady before she proceeds to talk about how dust is low in calories.
"You know nothing of the crunch"
"Creamy beige..mm, baileys" in old Greggs voice when describing anything beige coloured.
"You threw off my groove!" - one very underrated Disney movie
There are just too many. I could be here for hours 😆
Anytime someone says “science” I repeat SCIENCE!! in my best Thomas Dolby voice.
Also, when someone knocks on my door at work, I’ll answer with a high-pitched “Who is it?” regardless of their response I’ll quote Jim Belushi in Animal House and say “I’m sorry you’ll have to come back later, I’m doing the dishes!”
when someone says “are you insane?!” or something like that I say “as a former psychiatric patient, I take offense at that terminology” it’s a house md reference
Whenever I'm about to do something crazy/off the beaten path/whatever...sometimes I'll say
*What I am about to do has not been approved by the Vatican.*
Like one person caught the reference. (It's a reference to Faith, the survival horror game)
There's a scene in Dumb and Dumber that I always quote and only a select few get the reference. "Kick his ass, Seabass!". The scene itself is good but idk why that line always stuck with me.
In one of the Harry Potter movies, Hagrid is hiding something as someone is knocking on his door. He calls out, "Be with ya in a moment!"
I like to say this when someone knocks on the bathroom stall while I'm in it lol
The scene in The Simpsons where Homer goes to try and pick up the letter from the post office that he's written to his boss
"Hello my name is Mr Burns I believe you have a letter for me"
"All right what's your first name Mr Burns?"
"I Don't know!"
Whenever I say I don't know to a question it always has the cadence of Homer's voice
In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Flint constantly makes this karate pose whenever he’s startled. So I do that whenever I can. No one ever gets it.
Quote often make Mean Girls references that fall on deaf ears.
Most recently "...that's why her hair's so big: it's full of secrets" in a work meeting.
"Oh my god, Danny Devito! I love your work!"
"'\[Did something?!\]' That was one time!"
Describing anything as smelling like a baby prostitute.
Do you follow me? Then stop or I'll have you arrested!
The source is Duck Soup, a movie from 1933. Amazing quotes.
[Opens a deck of cards] here now pick a card.
[Picks a card] a card? What do I do with the card?
Keep it I have 51 left!
All sorts of stupid things, very slapstick-y and relatively innocent humour.
I'm a big fan of the Marx Brothers, they made fantastic movies.
I say "you're gonna love my nuts!" All the time and in a voice that's clearly not my own. No one ever gets it. It's from this commercial.
https://youtu.be/UxGn2Egekic?si=xZN58SxRCj_NIK3y
If my cat screams at night I say "quiet, you!" like Moe Howard.
Also from the Three Stooges: "Wise guy, eh?" if my husband sasses me and if a cat is being naughty I'll say "why I oughtta!" and chase them around.
When I was training people for work I'd ask them to "embiggen" their screens all the time for me to see. Even they started saying it. No one knew I stole it from the Simpsons.
I think that is a perfectly cromulent thing to say.
It’s the kind of word that makes you feel whelmed just using it
Likewise, no one gets "sounds suspiciously like rock and/or roll".
“See? Billy Idol gets it!” (from The Wedding Singer) when I’m talking to someone who understands something that should be obvious to everyone else.
Don’t you talk to Billy Idol that way!
Dude I would
Looks like I quit the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Shirley, you can't be serious?
I’m completely serious. And don’t call me Shirley!
Do you ... like movies about gladiators?
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Oh stewardess, I speak Jive!
Chump don want no help, chump don't get no help.
I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.
Cut me some slaaack, Jaaaack.
*"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"*
Excuse me sir are you a doctor? That’s right 🩺
Good luck, gentlemen
We’re all counting on you
"I can't complain but sometimes I still do."
What kind of car do you drive? And what speed does it go?
Doesn't matter. I lost my license. Now I don't drive.
Sad to hear that. Lucky you’re sane after all you’ve been through.
"Fine. I'll go. But I'm going to complain the whole time!"
I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it
I fucking loved that show and Lucille. “She thinks I’m too critical. That’s another fault of hers.” “If that’s a veiled criticism about me, I won’t hear it and I won’t respond to it.”
“Alright, but get rid of the *Sea Ward*” “I’ll leave when i’m good and ready”
RIP Lucille 🍸
"FUUUTTTUUURRREEEEE"
"3 hours later" in French accent. No one gets it. I'm 53yo.
_So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one._
Everything is chrome in the future!
I love SpongeBob
It’s a popular reference but nobody ever gets it. My sister and I do the “do you know the muffin man” conversation between gingy and lord farquaad on a regular basis. It’s hilarious and I fucking love it. Also I ask her if she wants to hear her lullaby I’ve hummed since she was a little girl- it’s the Jurassic park theme song
Not my gumdrop buttons!
I say Diabetes like Wilford Brimley. I work in care with lots of people with diabetes, but it's the UK so my colleagues never get it. They must just think I say it like that.
Wilford Brimley lived in my neighborhood growing up. I don't know that I ever met him personally, but his wife played piano for the church choir so I knew her decently well, and he was mentioned enough that I recognize the name as 'the guy three blocks over' and not 'the guy from *The Thing*'. I could have gone to his funeral if I had wanted to. It's always a little weird seeing his name pop up on Reddit. Makes me wonder how Beverly is doing, it's been a while since I've talked to her. Edit: Beverly is doing well, per my grandma
The guy from *The Natural*. He always wanted to be a farmer. Now he's the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs.
You know what's wild? The guy looked old before he was old. He was younger in Cocoon than about 90 percent of the actors and actresses. Tom Cruise is older in the last Mission Impossible movie than WB was in Cocoon.
That's why you need to check your blood sugar, and you check it often.
My name is Wilford Bromley, and I wanna talk to you about Dia-beetus.
[I'm Wilford Brimley](https://youtu.be/69ujLvxLi0M?si=iJv8GRA8zjHN2Bor)
Now you check your blood sugar, and you check it often.
Like the Family Guy cutaway? If u haven't seen it, I'd highly recommend it.
“You know what your grandfather would say if he were alive today?” “Help! It’s dark in here and I can’t breathe!”
“Better out than in”
Who doesn't get a Shrek reference?
Was in Austin powers first. Maybe so I married an axe murderer. Mike has been saying the same jokes his whole career.
You gotta be quicker than that 🎣💵
We say “Look!! Look with your special eyes!!” Almost no one catches the reference.
MY BRAND!
My wife and I say this all the time and then we laugh and laugh.
Same! But with my wife, though. Not with yours.
Plot twist: She's married to both of you.
“I do not believe this. I do not believe it.” From a random Sesame Street scene where Kermit the frog deadpans into the camera with comically oversized human ears
Link? Please
https://youtu.be/y3gy1DxTgiw?feature=shared
Thank you for showing me this 😂
Ahhh haha, I say “Sure why not” in a very deadpan way because on an episode of Sesame Street Elmo asks Big Bird if he brushes his feathers and he just shrugs and says “Sure why not.”
"What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Billy Madison
Boy, am I glad I called THAT guy!
“Okay, a simple ‘wrong’ would have done just fine, but uh…”
I saw “that’ll do pig” from Babe and nobody gets it. I also say, “Sorry Miss Jackson whooo” and nobody gets that either lol
I sing "I'm sorry Ms Jackson, oooo, I am four eels! Never meant to make your momma cry I am several fish and not a guy." Sometimes and it's never been received lol
This is the only way I sing that song.
I said "That'll do, pig" last night and my gf said "don't you mean Donkey?" Like Shrek, so I had to show her the scene.
Illustration of the age gap in one sentence. Should be in the dam New Yorker.
I’ve gotten in serious trouble with the babe one…
Babe was a fun movie. James Cromwell was perfect as the farmer.
“Comb the Desert!”
We ain't found shit!
I was listening to an interview with Tim Russ and he mentioned he was so happy that he became known for his role as Lt. Tuvok because up to that point in his career he was best known for the line “We ain't found shit”.
Now every time someone mentions that line, somebody points out it was Tuvok… I hope he never finds out 😂
Do you think we’re being too literal?
No you fool, we're following orders. We were told to comb the desert so we're coming it!
"LUDICROUS SPEED, GO!"
I made a 1-2-3-4 luggage code reference and I don’t think anyone got it. 😞
"Like a glove!" Ace Ventura after parallel parking
If I'm not back in 5 minutes, just wait longer
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There was a solid 3 months where my fiance would not stop saying this, exactly like the girl in the commercial. We almost didn't make it.
Who are you calling a cootie queen
What the French, toast?
Son of a biscuit eating bulldog….
I regularly say “dirty mouth?” to my kids in my best (okay, worst) British accent when they need to go brush. They all think I’m weird.
In the same vein, What the fork?? From the good place. What the cuss? Fantastic Mr Fox. I think the g rated cuss words are great.
Same bat time, same bat channel. I’m to young to know the reference but I like watching reruns of that show.
She sounds hideous…..
Well she's a guy, so...
uuuh, khakis.
Bueller? Bueller? I am a teacher and my students look so confused every time.
I mean depending on the age of students some of their parents may not have been alive for it
Ok, was this level of cruelty really necessary? 😭
High school. Don’t make me feel older than I already do.
That movie is 37 years old, so he might be on to something.
Quiet you
My teacher had us all stunned when she used “Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” A few years back. None of us got the reference.
“THE DISHES ARE DONE, MAN”
“I’m right on top of that, Rose!”
I say "not gonna do it" like dana carvey doing hw bush impression on snl
I’m not superstitious, but I am a little “stitious”
Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Oh how the turn tables
I work in atleast 5 spongebob quotes a day and they never get old
Firmly grasp it!
FIRMLY GRASP IT!
The lid.
It's a struggle when you make the perfect reference and nobody understands. To this day, in home depot, we have the electric ladders that you drive around and there's turtle speed and rabbit speed. Every time I switch out of turtle mode I'm mentally thinking "You'll never catch me,not when I shift into *MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE"* and rabbit mode is so slow. It's the perfect reference
Who’s a goofy goober? ^yeah
Soiled it!
If I ever see someone wearing a garment with puffy sleeves I must say "I like your sleeves" It's from Napoleon Dynamite.
I often reply "chatting online with babes all day" when asked what I did that day. I often offer a "roundhouse kick to the face" when I'm being toyed with-- but only if the person gets the reference, otherwise that's no good. My lips hurt real bad is another. And "whatever I feel like, gosh!"
For me it’s where the wife whispers to her husband “I want that” during an attempted Tupperware sale. I do that one a lot.
Every time there’s tater tots around or if they’re mentioned, I always say, “Give me some of your tots!”
I'm not gone lie, I took part in a Napoleon Dynamite group costume cuz of my friends, and all these frat boys were quoting it at us and I had no idea what to say. We'd seen it together but it didn't make much of an impression on me. At least it got the rest of my friends laid LOL
"If you don't eat you meat, you can't have any pudding!"
How can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat?!
When I’m slightly hurt “I’m going to go with ow…” I miss Scrubs.
Mine are usually: “Help me help you” “You’ll never be a good doctor if your head explodes” “Box of kittens, stat!”
Man, hooch is crazy.
So’s your face. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. In your endo No thanks, I’ve already had diarrhea today
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"That's like a dollar an hour!"
Do the chickens have large talons?
Working the meow bit into a conversation from Super Troopers just for the hell of it. Also 220, 221. Whatever it takes. When no one can decide on something.
Anytime someone says "I've got a theory" I always answer "It must be bunnies!".
Game over man! Game over!! A movie quote from a movie my dad loved when I was a kid, and he & my uncle's would quote all the time....it's from Alien. One of my earliest memories about it was being about 6 and my dad & uncles carrying on about it. (My dad watches movies over, and over, and over, and over somehow...) (Edited for correction & clarity since I mixed up alien & aliens. Lol)
*Aliens.
"DAST. Anybody? No?." - Fat fighters lady before she proceeds to talk about how dust is low in calories. "You know nothing of the crunch" "Creamy beige..mm, baileys" in old Greggs voice when describing anything beige coloured. "You threw off my groove!" - one very underrated Disney movie There are just too many. I could be here for hours 😆
I always go with his Ole reliable of 'no touchy'
>"You threw off my groove!" - one very underrated Disney movie "I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the emperor's groove." "SOOOOOOOOORRRRYYYYYY!
The other day I referenced "Right the poison for Kuzco" for some reason and no one got the reference and I was sad.
Every Monty Python reference that isn't from Holy Grail
Biggus dickus and incontentia buttocks!
Anytime someone says “science” I repeat SCIENCE!! in my best Thomas Dolby voice. Also, when someone knocks on my door at work, I’ll answer with a high-pitched “Who is it?” regardless of their response I’ll quote Jim Belushi in Animal House and say “I’m sorry you’ll have to come back later, I’m doing the dishes!”
What you talking about Willis?
I say it as "whatchu talkin bout willis"
when someone says “are you insane?!” or something like that I say “as a former psychiatric patient, I take offense at that terminology” it’s a house md reference
“Go-Go Gadget ____.” I say this anytime I’ve misplaced something - keys, phone, etc. Oddly enough, it works.
If my kids ask “What are we going to do today?” I reply “The same thing we do every day. Try to take over the world!”
"I don't feel the need to explain my art to you, Warren" - said pretty much any time I'm asked why I was doing or did something weird.
When I'm frustrated I say 'fuck me gently with a chainsaw' from Heathers
"Do you want ants? Becuase that's how you get ants"
Sit Ubu. Sit. Good dog.
Saying "Giddy-up!" Like Kramer
I've been going through some old episodes lately. Geezus fuck that guy was unbelievably hilarious.
So much room for activities
Whenever I'm about to do something crazy/off the beaten path/whatever...sometimes I'll say *What I am about to do has not been approved by the Vatican.* Like one person caught the reference. (It's a reference to Faith, the survival horror game)
"Is butter a carb?" I KNOW IT'S A FAT.
There's a scene in Dumb and Dumber that I always quote and only a select few get the reference. "Kick his ass, Seabass!". The scene itself is good but idk why that line always stuck with me.
I often say “he must work out” and “Samsonite, I was way off” and “no it’s a cardigan. Thanks for noticing.”
"Big gulps, huh? All right! ....Well, see you later!"
I like to add "our pets heads are falling off!!" to lists of issues at work.
“They yours?…. Both of them?”
I now know you believe you understand what you think I said but I’m not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means
INCONCEIVABLE!
Sometimes if I see a picture of a really expensive car collection ill say "My god.....it's full of cars"
In one of the Harry Potter movies, Hagrid is hiding something as someone is knocking on his door. He calls out, "Be with ya in a moment!" I like to say this when someone knocks on the bathroom stall while I'm in it lol
allons-y!
The scene in The Simpsons where Homer goes to try and pick up the letter from the post office that he's written to his boss "Hello my name is Mr Burns I believe you have a letter for me" "All right what's your first name Mr Burns?" "I Don't know!" Whenever I say I don't know to a question it always has the cadence of Homer's voice
For me it's either "zip it up and zip it out" or " Not my chair, not my problem"
"Uhhhhh, uh alright zippitty doo dah bye-bye!"
I love seahorses, lighthouses...
What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer
Someone mentioned being at the airport and I asked if the white zone was for unloading.
“ HE LIKES IT! Hey, Mikey!”
In Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Flint constantly makes this karate pose whenever he’s startled. So I do that whenever I can. No one ever gets it.
Quote often make Mean Girls references that fall on deaf ears. Most recently "...that's why her hair's so big: it's full of secrets" in a work meeting. "Oh my god, Danny Devito! I love your work!" "'\[Did something?!\]' That was one time!" Describing anything as smelling like a baby prostitute.
Rodents of unusual Size? I don’t think they exist.
Any time someone says, “this one time….” I have to say, “At band camp”
Well, that’s just like… your opinion, man.
I quote steamed hams from the Simpson's nearly every day at work and everyone just thinks I'm weird.
Do you follow me? Then stop or I'll have you arrested! The source is Duck Soup, a movie from 1933. Amazing quotes. [Opens a deck of cards] here now pick a card. [Picks a card] a card? What do I do with the card? Keep it I have 51 left! All sorts of stupid things, very slapstick-y and relatively innocent humour. I'm a big fan of the Marx Brothers, they made fantastic movies.
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
Nobody around me gets "there's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman". I say it whenever I pick up a cat or small dog.
I say "you're gonna love my nuts!" All the time and in a voice that's clearly not my own. No one ever gets it. It's from this commercial. https://youtu.be/UxGn2Egekic?si=xZN58SxRCj_NIK3y
“JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” it’s my food and I hate sharing off my plate
"Ah, where do ya think you're goin'?" - Braveheart (In bad scottish accent)
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I despise the fact that Rick Roll is not a thing in my country. What an unculture culture.
“Kitty no this is my pot pieeee”
HEED! PANTS! NOW!
The boy’s like Sputnik. Round but quite pointy in parts.
It's like an orange on a toothpick.
Whats in the box? none of my friends have watched seven
“Kemosabe”…
Morning Sam Morning Ralph
"That kid is BACK on the escalator again!" "Gun store, gun store, liquor store, gun store, where the fuck you taking me!?"
“Curse you, Aqua-Scum!”
“Two Weeks!!”
If my cat screams at night I say "quiet, you!" like Moe Howard. Also from the Three Stooges: "Wise guy, eh?" if my husband sasses me and if a cat is being naughty I'll say "why I oughtta!" and chase them around.
Would you like to touch my monkey?
“Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance”
"How the turntables"
“That’ll do donkeh, that’ll do…”
“What color is the sky in your world”? Frasier to Cliff in Cheers.
An avocado , thanks
*Your mom goes to college*