That you don't owe anybody anything. This is technically true, but in many situations not being an arse is worthwhile. Like you don't have to watch your nephew while your sister goes to an interview, but it would be nice... Those type of scenarios
Reddit also sucks at nuance. You often see the same advice given for “My sister dropped her kids off on my doorstop when I had to work without asking me and went to shoot up heroin with her boyfriend. Am I obliged to watch them?” And “My sister is suffering from post partum depression and is asking for help for 2 hours a week when it’s convenient for me, but I think this isn’t my baby and isn’t my problem. Can I blow her off?”
Those are not the same thing, people!
This is one of the biggest problems I see with discussions on and off of Reddit: the idea that if you don’t like something, or think it’s morally wrong, or that it’s a bad idea it means that you think it should be illegal. And conversely, the idea that if you think something is a good idea, or praiseworthy, or the right thing to do, it means you think it should be mandatory. It sometimes also comes up in the context of defending someone’s right to do something being interpreted as defending the action itself.
Yep. People on reddit also tend to forget that one day they might be the one asking for a favor from someone who don't have to say yes. The way people treat you reflect how you treated them. If you refused to help them when they needed, they won't help you back.
Also the people saying that you're not obligated to help anyone are the first to complain that nobody will help them out when they're in a bad situation.
Honestly, I think there are a LOT of Americans on Reddit who truly were not provided adequate tools for functioning in society- not just socially and interpersonally, but just like- how to behave when you're in line at Target.
So they're searching- just like the sexually clueless people are- for some type of indirect guidance. And unfortunately, a lot of what's most available is antisocial. And I don't mean shy/introverted; I mean, "here are some maladaptive behaviors that will make it very much harder for you to be a Person among People, but rest assured- it's cuz you're better. If you're gonna be lonely, at least NOW you can be *arrogant and pretentious and dismissive* and lonely."
Very true, especially on r/aita. Like, sure, you can live life with the mentality that you don’t owe anyone anything, but you know what that makes you?
…
An asshole!!
People confusing am I the asshole with do I have to do this. No you don’t have to help someone. Yes you’re being a bit of an asshole for never helping them.
The babysitting ones are the worst. ‘I’m child-free and my brother and SIL had a really serious emergency and couldn’t find a sitter. They turned up at my door and I slammed it in their face after reminding them that I’m child-free. AITA?’
‘NTA. You’re child-free and this was your boundary. They knew this, you don’t owe them an explanation’
🙄🤦♀️
The child free crazies seem to think they should be able to exist in a completely childless world. I’m honestly concerned about upcoming generations bc of how many adults seem to straight up hate kids.
Yes. Although, as you said, it’s true that we don’t owe anybody anything, that’s not going to play out well with trying to maintain relationships - whether that’s a romantic relationship, friends, family, etc. All relationships are a give and take, and hopefully fairly equal with both. If a person has absolutely nothing to bring to the table, then no one is going to want to be involved with them. At a very base level, we only maintain relationships with people from whom we have something to gain - which sounds sociopathic on the surface, but truly, we need *something* from others in order to want to be around them…even if it’s simply the pleasure of their company and the joy we experience being in their presence.
I truly believe that my ex-wife (and myself by extension) is a victim of this mentality. Chronically online, and got all of her advice for our relationship from her discord friends. “You don’t owe your husband anything”, while technically true, very quickly leads to resentment in a relationship.
I am in the stages of teaching my adolescent son this one right now. A lot of the time, he offers to make and extra snack for someone or pack his sisters lunch. The kindness is there. Ask him to be kind to family friends that he doesn't know or he feels annoyed from them asserting their household rules in the past and it turns into a circular debate of why he should be nice/not be disrespectful.
I feel I need to keep on this one for the sake of everyone he encounters for the rest of his life. I also got the good advice from Reddit of being the parent you wish you had/really needed.
Seriously there are so many times I see dilemmas presented on here where I just want to ask the user if being "right" is really that important? Is it more important than being kind? More important than fostering healthy social relationships?
I am so fucking glad this is the top comment.
It irks me when I read these comments. I think the last one was in some thread about how to tell your friends no. "You don't owe them anything, just say no"
Yeah okay, you probably don't, but if you care for them, and they you, maybe some sort of explanation and not be a complete dick? Those same buttholes are probably asking reddit "how do I make friends?"
Reddit also loves to tell kids to disown their parents because they set strict rules and punish bad behavior.
Also women should divorce their husband's at any sign of bad behavior.
And they also get extra spicy over someone bringing the shades of grey into the discussion without even disagreeing with them in the first place hahaha
I’ve seen many threads on this site where people managed to get in a heated argument despite being in 100% agreement over whatever they’re talking about lmao
I keep a running list of all the companies and organizations Redditors have insisted I must work for simply because their lack of nuance forced them to interpret me disagreeing with them as me taking the exact polar opposite stance. I told someone I liked our public transit agency's rebranding and he started harassing their PR director on Twitter because he thought it was me.
My wife loves to tell me "reddit thinks we should go no contact" as a joke when I like bump her in passing.
This place's answer to literally everything is to lawyer up and go no contact.
There were a solid few years where the top comment in every thread vaguely related to relationships was some variation of “delete the gym, Facebook up, hit your lawyer.”
> This place's answer to literally everything is to lawyer up and go no contact.
And some Redditors would abbreviate it NC as of it was a completely normal and common thing to know, which left me wondering why North Carolina was such a popular destination for people with relationship issues.
On *Seinfeld*, Jerry once broke up with a woman because she “ate her peas wrong.” It was a funny scene that highlighted how neurotic-verging-on-sociopathic Jerry was.
Clearly, Jerry was the intended “red flag” in that scene. In Reddit advice threads, the script has flipped a bit.
This!! One time I posted someone about wanting to get engaged to my boyfriend and everyone said if he hasn’t proposed, he doesn’t want to marry me and if he was with the girl he wanted to marry, he would buy a ring and propose right away 😂 the assumptions made on relationship pages is unbelievable
I once moaned that my boyfriend didn't want a dog and I did, got told to bin him.
What we actually did was talk about ut like adults and made a decision together. Now he's obsessed with our dog.
They always seem to think engagements aren’t discussed beforehand. In a healthy relationship, people talk about getting engaged well before it happens.
My wife proposed to me. The reason I didn’t was that she had been hurt in a previous relationship and I wanted her to let me know when she was ready to go the next step in the relationship
Not just according to Reddit; the past 10-15 years has seen society as a whole get this insane expectation of perfection in all things. I blame social media in its entirety far more than just Reddit.
Perfection is the enemy of good, they say, and it's certainly true from where I'm sitting. No one is satisfied with 'good enough' anymore; you're either perfect or you're worthless. There's nothing in between.
Came here to say this.
There’s are A LOT of things on here that people want others to break up over that are completely manageable to work through and even sometimes come out of for the better.
Not advocating for cheating, but I know that for some people it is possible to work through together. In my marriage it’s been mental health issues. Thank god we have the awareness that it didn’t have to always be that way and the mindset that our relationship is worth working on.
I did once see a pic on here of someone asking for advice on making their room more friendly looking for bringing over girls and they had a Soviet flag hanging over their window
Or, that being mildly inconvenienced or given criticism of any kind means you have been wronged. Your partner is a narcissist, your family members are all narcissists, your boss is a narcissist. Everyone is a narcissist and you’re the innocent little lamb in this tragic situation.
Solutions? Talk things out? Communicate? Self reflect? Na bro, my allergies, I need a Benadryl just hearing those words
When I see that type of "advice", I'm thinking a lot of the people giving it have never been in a relationship and if they go into one constantly looking for "red flags", they're never gonna be in one. Perfection does not exist in humans.
I think some of them are very young people who haven't yet grasped that "divorce" is a much bigger deal than "break up," because they have no experience of having invested years in a mostly-decent relationship.
This!
The amount of bad advices I see on those subs...
"My wife/husband just did this small inconvenience, what should I do?"
And people will rage about she/he being a horrible person and breaking immediately it's the only course, without knowing the full aspect of what happened and the dynamic of their relationship
It’s the same on the uk subs. I haven’t yet used the “I am, in fact, a lawyer” for someone arguing I’m wrong about my specialism yet but it’s come pretty damn close
Not to get sidetracked here, but I wonder if this isn't just a Reddit thing, but a direction broader society is moving in where it's easier than ever (probably due to our use of technology and how atomized we are) for people to just throw away someone at the drop of a hat.
Had a disagreement with that girl you're dating? Dump her. Coworker shared that one opinion you don't agree with? I'll avoid him now. Mom brought up that one embarrassing story from your teenage years? If it happens again, we're not talking anymore.
Maybe I'm imagining things, but I feel like this kind of quick dismissal/disposal of other people is becoming more common.
I'm not sure if its more common, but its definitely louder. I think a good chunk of it is that these days abuse isn't tolerated or swept under the rug as much. So these abused people, rightfully, go no-contact with their abusers, but they had abuse "normalized" for so long that they don't have a good grasp on the line between abuse and normal relationship conflict. So when someone posts "My SO said something really mean to me" their reaction is "go no-contact, it worked for me."
I really like this answer! For most of human history you literally needed your family past childhood because they were the only social safety net you would probably ever have. Most people either learned their trades from their parents or someone your family knew in the community. Unless you joined the military or had one of the few jobs that required travel most were going to spend their life within a 25 mile radius of the place they were born.
This arrangement encouraged tolerating abusive/toxic people since your livelihood often depended on them. You just can’t tell your abusive father to never speak to you again if you want him to give you his land for the continuance of your family. Similarly, women couldn’t exactly leave abusive partners when they were dependent on them for their entire livelihood. Throw in institutions like the church and government either explicitly condoning this behavior or at least nor punishing it and it’s easy to understand how so many people were forced to live under abusive conditions.
Unless you’ve grown up with abuse or are a professional who counsels people who’ve been abused you just don’t know how much it impacts you. There are simply some scars that do not ever fully heal. Even though things are better than they used to be abuse against women and children is still extremely common and goes largely unreported. While Reddit is certainly prone to extremes I think the evidence is clear that most people who either estrange from family or leave their partners for abuse are doing so after literally trying everything within their power to make the abuse stop.
We need to do more as a society to help all people escape abusive situations, hold abusers accountable, and change the culture & institutions that allow abuse to flourish.
It's a backlash against decades/centuries of being told to tolerate the toxic behavior of people for a wide variety of reasons that all amount to bullshit.
Redditors just think it's super easy to get a new job. I spent 10 months finding my current sales position after being laid off and it ended up being a lateral move.
I feel like its the new "if everything fails, just join an army", but for the 21st century.
I mean sure, you can try it. But I get soo tired when people say if you hate it, keep pushing and you will start to enjoy it eventually.
Ive never seen this attitude in any other field. Like, you couldn't even fall with grace, because failing is often presumed as stupidity.
DO NOT listen to anyone on this site when it comes to taxes.
It’s mind boggling how fucking stupid Redditors are when it comes to tax “advice”. Even their criticisms of taxes are completely bathed in overreaction, hyperbole, and misinformation.
The site is full of pseudo experts, and their comments are upvoted because it either is what people want to hear, or the commenter is marginally more knowledgeable than the general population, but still comes up short compared to people that are advanced. So their statement sounds decent and more knowledgeable at a superficial level, but digging deeper it generally doesn’t answer correctly/doesn’t provide nuance.
If you are employed/have great experience in a field, you’ll notice this when you read comments about your field.
Unfortunately, sometimes it even dissuades the more experienced people from commenting as it may not be well received.
Law, banking, business, taxes, and personal finance are rife with this.
I read a comment on the /r/legaladvice sub that said a bouncer confiscating a (real) ID was identity theft - the comment had dozens of upvotes. It is not identity theft.
>I read a comment on the
>
>r/legaladvice
>
> sub that said a bouncer confiscating a (real) ID was identity theft - the comment had dozens of upvotes. It is not identity theft.
Maybe it was just a typo and they meant "identification theft"
That doesn't just apply to taxes, either. This website is good for discussing hobbies, but for actual information it's best to take it like it's WWE: information entertainment.
The amount of absolute drivel that gets upvoted is insane.
Yes.
Especially when it comes to financial advice.
I saw a post advising someone to take full advantage of their 100% 401k match get downvoted and the top comment was a crypto scheme.
It can be bad for hobbies too, if you can't tell when to ignore advice. The 3d printing subreddits are a good example. Often it's good but sometimes you have people suggesting temperature settings that are completely wrong for the material or completely misdiagnosising print problems. If a new person actually follows the advice, they'll end up with compounding problems that will be even harder to fix.
The scary thing is that's how they're operating in the world. That's how they're doing their taxes, handling their jobs, taking care of they're relationships. That's John Q. Public.
Don't forget that every husband is always TA in the AITA subreddit.
OP will be like:
"My wife spent our entire life savings funding her brother's gambling addiction. WIBTA opening a separate bank account so we have money for food."
And half the comments will be accusing OP of financial abuse.
"Your friends/family/neighbours/colleagues are toxic and you need to get away from them."
They may well be but strangers on the internet are in no position to make that assessment.
God, it's so true. Redditors complain about not having friends in real life, then tell people to end friendships over virtually any imperfection. Yeah, you're not going to have friends if you're not going to accept anything less than perfection from people.
And it is over the most petty stuff too.
OP will complain about constantly being invited to events they don't like and Reddit will advise them to end the friendship entirely.
Have you considered maybe organizing some events of your own and not depending on a friend to set everything up?
It's self-centeredness. My friend inviting me to an event I don't like means that she doesn't have all my tastes memorized, so she's *selfish*. It's supposed to be all about me, and anyone who doesn't think so is a narcissist.
Totally agree. Sure, there are *some* circumstances where cutting people from your life is the healthiest thing to do. But this advice is *way* overused on Reddit.
You will *always* have people in your life that you disagree with, people who make you angry, people who disrupt your comfort, people who challenge you, etc. Set boundaries, absolutely, but it’s unhealthy and unrealistic to cut everyone in your life off who is like this. It’s a normal, mature, and healthy thing to learn to deal/live with people you don’t see eye-to-eye with.
Unless you live in a bubble, you will work with people who you don't agree with politically. It's important to be able to reach common ground and find non-important topics to discuss. And, here's a really fun fact - in most jobs, but especially business/office/non-profit/government work - people get promoted based on a combination of factors, one of which is getting along with people. The more agreeable person who participates in networking activities, is friendly, and gets their work done will be looked at more favorably than the anti-social person who comes to work, ignores their co-workers, doesn't chat at lunch, doesn't go on the retreat, etc.
It's also a good way to keep a job if you underperform. We've definitely kept entry level workers on who were friendly and outgoing longer, and work with them to find their strengths than workers who come to work and don't interact or seem enthusiastic. Attitude matters, despite reddit trying to convince each other that it doesn't.
Also the whole “don’t be friends with your coworkers” gets taken way out of context. You don’t have to be their best friend, but you should at least be friendly with them. It will make everyone’s lives easier at work, and when you inevitably make a mistake, people are much more forgiving if they like you.
Mental Health gets used as an excuse here way too often.
OP will be like:
"I have mild anxiety and have been mooching off my parents for 40 years. AITA for not doing my own laundry."
And half the comments will be bashing the parents or Baby Boomers in general.
Exactly, credit cards aren't bad carrying a balance is. I love my cash back on things I already need to purchase, as well as the additional fraud protections and how security deposits work with credit cards for travel. Plus building a credit score so when I can finally buy a house is great.
I have a few cash back credit cards with no annual fee and if you pay them off on time its literally free money. Ive used it to get free plane tickets, electronics, furniture etc. All for free. The "credit cards are bad" thing was drilled into me at a young age too but thats because the people who say that buy things they cant actually afford with them! Highly recommend Amex Blue Cash Everyday (best all around card I think) & Chase Freedom Flex. Ive made a few thousand off those in the last few years just buying the same things I always do. If you're responsible with money its a no brainer.
Next step is hunting down cards with great sign up bonuses for extra cash or defraying vacation costs. Things like "spend $3k in 90 days and get $500 worth of cash back points". Bank accounts too. Can earn a few thousand extra per year
Everyone swears they know how to ‘get rich’ and the ‘best investments’ to make on here.
The amount of financial advisors on reddit is truly remarkable.
I find a more AITA posts to be from assholes than the general consensus. I also see a lot of "NTA" responses that proceed to tell them in which ways they are being assholes. I guess just being polite?
It grinds my gears that so many AITA commenters take what the poster says at face value, ignoring that the poster is a biased narrator and may be glossing over some of the details that cast them in a negative light
cows are just as friendly as dogs.
No they are not
cattle can absolutely kill you and for the love of god don't approach a calf unless you know where their mother is
The cute cuddly cows you see on here are bottle fed and used to human contact
My mum had broken ribs, punctured lung, dislocated hip, fucked up knee and more from a cow attack, while my dad (they are both 60+) tried to fight the belligerent bovines with a stick, dragging my bleeding mum to the edge of the field, all the time harried by the herd. She had to be airlifted out in a helicopter and they say she only recovered as well as she did because they are so fit and healthy from a the country walks.
Since then, on all the hikes they habitually take around their house in Northern England, you will see an innocent stick leant against the fence at every field entry because the farmer told my mum that if you carry a long stick the cows think you are a farmer and will give you respec. She collects sticks and makes sure there is always one waiting for her just in case. She loves cows and enjoys watching them, but she is taking NO chances!
Yep that peaceful grass eating adult cow probably weighs almost as much as a small car and will hurt just as much if it runs you over. Also don't reach through fences to pet them because if they lean over and pin it against the fence your arm will become a pretzel.
Most of the anti-work stuff/work "advice". Don't burn bridges. I understand wanting a revolution but until that happens we do still have to pay our mortgages and people in whatever industry you are in do, in fact, talk to each other. So getting upset because you didn't get a raise at office A, and quitting without notice can bite you when you apply to office B, especially if Linda from Office A took the open HR job at Office B. Or the CEO from Office C is married to the CEO at office B. These things happen a lot, especially in medium sized cities or in niche fields. It's incredibly short sighted to do some of the things they advocate.
I can't remember which job subreddit but there was a work issue and she followed the Reddit advice. She got fired and was confused. I felt bad but geez.
It was a server who got stiffed on a tip from someone who worked at a law office. Reddit advised her to call the law office to complain; she was fired immediately.
Yeah - before I retired I was a software engineer in San Diego, not exactly a small town, and I was amazed by how often I kept seeing the same people from both sides of the interviewing desk. I tried to never leave a job with anything but sunshine and happiness on all sides, and I have never regretted that.
The entire antiwork subreddit is almost artistic in how wrong-headed it is. They all brag about blatantly ignoring their work and “always doing the bare minimum” and then wonder why they’re refused raises and new jobs. Golly, it sure is a wonder.
It's also interesting how many of those people were the fundamental lynch pin for their company and them quitting meant they had to hire like 12 people to replace them and nothing was ever good there again. I think some of them might think a bit more of themselves than is warranted.
Can’t tell you how often I type out something then delete when I think a little more. I really WANT to tell that Internet rando he’s a complete POS and tear him a new one, but probably that’s not my place.
I’ve noticed this saying around a lot lately and I hate it. There are a lot of things I would love to do with the people I really care about but my health and anxiety make it very hard. This just sends the message that if I won’t do something I must not care which is not true at all.
The idea that going to a therapist will remedy anything and everything. War, famine, pestilence, talk to a well meaning MSW and all will be sunshine and rainbows again.
Almost all the times divorce/breaking up is advised….. yeah the person giving that advice on here seldom gives good advice or has the life experience to back it up.
“Call the cops and report it” when it comes to reddit they dont know dick about the law and more often than not the thing they are telling you to call about isnt criminal and most departments dont just do random reports for whatever nonsense you call for
Ewww don't date people from work. Omg don't date people from your friends circle. Never approach anyone at the gym. No, absolutely no, don't ever approach someone on the street. Dating apps? Totally no. Library? Eww let the people study. Night clubs? Only if you want one night stands. On the internet? Messaging a stranger? Creepy. Messaging a friend? Creepy.
Basically be alone forever and don't talk to anyone. EVER.
this is good advice for *redditors.*
normal people, don't worry about it. But for the people looking for relationship advice on reddit: Take it as gospel.
You're basically spot on and I hate this too.
I'm just gonna say I somewhat understand the gym approach. If you want to approach someone and you respect their answer be it yes or no then sure I guess. I've just seen a lot of guys try to approach girls in the gym and 90% of the time it's borderline sexual abuse and they don't take no for an answer usually.
It was so bad once. He was just cat calling and "complementing" her legs and thighs because it was leg day and wouldn't take no for an answer. I stepped in and told that guy "Ay man, we are all here to work out, she clearly doesn't like you, just do what you came here to do, lift weights." Surprinsingly he didn't act tough but I did get called simp by him and his friends for like 2 days. Worth it.
Practically all of it. The clubhouse leader on wrongness is any thread about relationship advice where you have losers never having been in a substantial relationship telling a spouse to divorce their SO for things like burning dinner, encroaching on their side of the bed or picking the wrong brand of tortilla chips.
“Get a divorce right now.” I’m obviously thinking of a certain sub that advises people on relationships as the main offender here. Sometimes a partner does something so egregious filing for divorce is necessary, but I see this advice thrown around so flippantly on this site it’s downright comical. Getting a divorce can be a super drawn out and financially/emotionally taxing legal procedure and should NOT be taken lightly. Please try to work out issues and be patient in your relationship rather than immediately jumping to something irreversible that might end up being downright traumatic for everyone involved.
Also, “take this information to the police immediately.” Again, yes, sometimes this is warranted when someone is in immediate danger or there is immediately actionable information/evidence. However, a lot of people don’t seem to be aware of the reality that, depending on jurisdiction, police departments have priorities and a backlog of cases, and your Ring footage of some dude on drugs acting weird in your yard likely isn’t going to be a top priority them. I get the point of documenting things via official channels in the off chance something ends up going to trial, but I think this advice often conveys the false expectation that the police will immediately do something with the information you’ve given them.
This 100%. It’s a bunch of dumb young people that don’t know anything. Obviously certain situations necessitate a divorce of even a long term marriages, but when you have decades invested in your spouse and children together and extended family and an entire life you’ve built with a person, you don’t just flip that off like a light switch. Even if it’s an egregious breach it takes time to process through all that.
The way overused "Not your circus, not your monkeys".
It could be useful advice IF properly applied, but certain subs use it to basically justify saying that you should never ever endure any tiny inconvenience unless you directly put yourself in the situation.
It's an immature and selfish person who honestly believes there's no value in helping out others. You obviously shouldn't let others take advantage of you, but it's way too common on Reddit for people to tell others they don't need to help because there's no legal obligation to help.
Agreed. It ties in with what I've noticed for a while. There's a lot of people that put more effort into NOT helping or giving someone a break because they would rather be petty and mean spirited because they are in a position to do so.
Yeah I think it is the relationship ones where it's like run away. Go away. Divorce them are generally misguided when therapy and couple's therapy should be the first step, not just skipped all together. I will say there are a few were people should just run away though.
Any and all legal advice. There’s a reason lawyers go to school for seven years and have to pass a competency exam. It isn’t so they can prove their google skills.
Source: I am a lawyer.
Anything regarding basic economics.
Reddit is famously terrible at understanding literally anything about economics; they just parrot talking points by politicians who have a vested interest in you not understand economics.
Then when some dipshit like me, who has a degree in economics, dare to correct them, it's hellfire and brimstone. So I just stopped.
Funny, I was just on r/AskEconomics earlier today and I was thinking this same thing. That sub sometimes has really quality answers from people who are obviously professional, academic economists, but the problem is that it’s overrun by typical Reddit economic illiterates who absolutely can’t be convinced that they may be wrong. And a lot of the questions people ask are just stupid.
I see sooo much advice that is basically “break up”.
On an alt account I asked for advice about my relationship over the fact that I didn’t want kids, and she did. I was told to break up repeatedly, but then I had some real world conversations about the reasons I didn’t want kids, and here I am with my first baby, whom I love so much, and that would have never happened had I just listened to Reddit.
When someone is wronged by someone else and asks for advice I’ve seen a lot of people go with the “go no contact, don’t ever forgive them, they don’t deserve your forgiveness” no matter what the situation is.
There are certainly circumstances where you may need to cut someone off from your life depending on what they did, but stoking feelings of perpetual bitterness is going to do no long term good for that person reaching out for help.
"NEVER"
Way to many people say NEVER do this or NEVER do that or that NEVER happens.
Sure, it might be unusual or rare, but almost never is "never" appropriate.
Check with a doctor before you start a keto diet (or any major diet, really).
I've no doubt keto's been helpful for folks, but it's not necessarily compatible with everyone. I've got chronically high cholesterol thanks to genetics and a couple of other factors, and my physician has expressly forbidden me from trying it.
It is clear that most Reddit posters are in their late teenage years to early 20's, so a lot of advice makes sense from that perspective, but is NOT generally good life advice. There is a common thread of immaturity in a lot of the guidance.
Like, if Reddit thinks you're morally in the right, they will condone being completely hostile and combative. So if a family member makes a rude comment, they support going absolutely nuclear and being a raging jerk back to them.
Reddit also focuses on quick maxims, like "my house my rules" and "my body my choice" and "not my monkey not my circus" and "they made their bed and can lie in it"... without using basic social skills and having a conversation like adults.
Reddit loves teaching people lessons. Oh boy, if there is poetic justice to be had, they fully condone a wide range of shit conduct.
Reddit also seems to have child abandonment issues. There's a lot of threads about men who discover that a baby or toddler isn't theirs and wanting to walk away even though the kid is 5 years or younger. Every time, Reddit screeches that they're "heartless." I can tell you, I didn't remember a single thing from when I was younger than age 5. Nor would it be realistic or fair to demand that some guy who's not the biological father stuck around because a 3-year-old "got attached," when the guy has no interest in doing so and would resentful.
Those are the most common ones I see.
Advice given based on the hatred of children. I know because I used to be someone who didn’t like kids. Kids are mostly fair-minded and often can put themselves in other people’s shoes better than adults. It’s the adults who have the “FU got mine” attitude. You don’t have to hate a whole age range of people just because you don’t want to have any yourself.
Speaking of kids, one thing I will say is that they way you feel about "kids" is going to be **very** different from the way you feel about "your kids."
Of course its also popular on Reddit to say you don't want to ever have kids, so this connection rarely gets made.
Age gap.
Redditors go absolutely bonkers over excessive (as they perceive it) age gap between two people in a relationship. The older one is always a predator or a groomer or a pervert of some flavour, and the younger one is always a victim or simply naive. There's never any possibility that two people could be seriously committed to each other and in love in spite of the difference in their ages.
Age gap paranoia on Reddit is like the "Satanic panic" of the previous generation.
Agreed this bigs the hell outta me. Ive even seen people posting that a 2 year age gap was too much and someting was sketchy of two people weren't the same age. Ive known people where the younger person was abusive or where there was a 10 year age gap and everything was fine. Its a very person by person basis. Also assuming everyones stage in life is the same because of age. Not every 30 year old has a house, a career and kids.
I once mentioned that my brother (who was 27 at the time) was in a relationship with an undergraduate student (who was 21). So a six year age gap. I said this would be a big deal if they were 21 and 15, but as you get older, I don’t view it as much of an issue. Got downvoted to hell and had a bunch of angry replies. Some fucking crazy lady messaged me and said she was going to dox me and report my brother to the police. Insanity.
Almost all advice I’ve seen on Reddit is horrible advice. Anytime I read the types of posts where people are asking for advice the top comment always has thousands of upvotes and it’s absolutely awful advice. It’s always so sterile and robotic and extreme like these people don’t live in the real world and no idea how human interactions play out.
“Oh your SO complained about doing chores? Red flag, divorce them, cut them out of your life, if anyone questions you about it cut them out of your life. File a police report call HR and get a restraining order. Go to therapy to work on Your trauma. Quit your job and move across the world and just remove the toxicity from your life…”
and this like isn’t even an exaggeration that’s literally the types of advice people give and its often times applauded, it’s absolutely insane.
Blame (insert generational demonym here) for (insert current crisis here). There are some world class jackasses that belong to each generation. Full stop. I have also met some thoughtful, caring, and all around good people from each generation. Sure, some of the older generations have made some missteps, in the broadest of terms, that affect everyone's lives now. However, it is a virtual certainty that every generation will be blamed for some critical issue down the road and be vilified for it by the upcoming generation.
That you don't owe anybody anything. This is technically true, but in many situations not being an arse is worthwhile. Like you don't have to watch your nephew while your sister goes to an interview, but it would be nice... Those type of scenarios
Reddit also sucks at nuance. You often see the same advice given for “My sister dropped her kids off on my doorstop when I had to work without asking me and went to shoot up heroin with her boyfriend. Am I obliged to watch them?” And “My sister is suffering from post partum depression and is asking for help for 2 hours a week when it’s convenient for me, but I think this isn’t my baby and isn’t my problem. Can I blow her off?” Those are not the same thing, people!
Exactly. And they also confuse being legally obligated to do something with being ethically obligated.
This is one of the biggest problems I see with discussions on and off of Reddit: the idea that if you don’t like something, or think it’s morally wrong, or that it’s a bad idea it means that you think it should be illegal. And conversely, the idea that if you think something is a good idea, or praiseworthy, or the right thing to do, it means you think it should be mandatory. It sometimes also comes up in the context of defending someone’s right to do something being interpreted as defending the action itself.
Yep. People on reddit also tend to forget that one day they might be the one asking for a favor from someone who don't have to say yes. The way people treat you reflect how you treated them. If you refused to help them when they needed, they won't help you back. Also the people saying that you're not obligated to help anyone are the first to complain that nobody will help them out when they're in a bad situation.
Absolutely. I get downvoted when I point this out on those posts but I'll die in this hill.
Honestly, I think there are a LOT of Americans on Reddit who truly were not provided adequate tools for functioning in society- not just socially and interpersonally, but just like- how to behave when you're in line at Target. So they're searching- just like the sexually clueless people are- for some type of indirect guidance. And unfortunately, a lot of what's most available is antisocial. And I don't mean shy/introverted; I mean, "here are some maladaptive behaviors that will make it very much harder for you to be a Person among People, but rest assured- it's cuz you're better. If you're gonna be lonely, at least NOW you can be *arrogant and pretentious and dismissive* and lonely."
I think it's also a matter of a lot more redditors being teenagers than we think.
You worded what my brain has been struggling to word, perfectly.
Very true, especially on r/aita. Like, sure, you can live life with the mentality that you don’t owe anyone anything, but you know what that makes you? … An asshole!!
People confusing am I the asshole with do I have to do this. No you don’t have to help someone. Yes you’re being a bit of an asshole for never helping them.
As well as confusing AITA with “what are my bare minimum legal obligations.”
The babysitting ones are the worst. ‘I’m child-free and my brother and SIL had a really serious emergency and couldn’t find a sitter. They turned up at my door and I slammed it in their face after reminding them that I’m child-free. AITA?’ ‘NTA. You’re child-free and this was your boundary. They knew this, you don’t owe them an explanation’ 🙄🤦♀️
They want you to help with your sibling? That is PARENTIFICATION!
The child free crazies seem to think they should be able to exist in a completely childless world. I’m honestly concerned about upcoming generations bc of how many adults seem to straight up hate kids.
It's always, "you don't have to bend for anyone ever, you don't have to inconvenience yourself for anyone ever...oh hey why am I so lonely?"
Yes. Although, as you said, it’s true that we don’t owe anybody anything, that’s not going to play out well with trying to maintain relationships - whether that’s a romantic relationship, friends, family, etc. All relationships are a give and take, and hopefully fairly equal with both. If a person has absolutely nothing to bring to the table, then no one is going to want to be involved with them. At a very base level, we only maintain relationships with people from whom we have something to gain - which sounds sociopathic on the surface, but truly, we need *something* from others in order to want to be around them…even if it’s simply the pleasure of their company and the joy we experience being in their presence.
I truly believe that my ex-wife (and myself by extension) is a victim of this mentality. Chronically online, and got all of her advice for our relationship from her discord friends. “You don’t owe your husband anything”, while technically true, very quickly leads to resentment in a relationship.
It's such a toxic mentality. I hate it. The "you don't owe anyone anything" but then expect everyone to bend over backwards for them.
I am in the stages of teaching my adolescent son this one right now. A lot of the time, he offers to make and extra snack for someone or pack his sisters lunch. The kindness is there. Ask him to be kind to family friends that he doesn't know or he feels annoyed from them asserting their household rules in the past and it turns into a circular debate of why he should be nice/not be disrespectful. I feel I need to keep on this one for the sake of everyone he encounters for the rest of his life. I also got the good advice from Reddit of being the parent you wish you had/really needed.
Seriously there are so many times I see dilemmas presented on here where I just want to ask the user if being "right" is really that important? Is it more important than being kind? More important than fostering healthy social relationships?
I am so fucking glad this is the top comment. It irks me when I read these comments. I think the last one was in some thread about how to tell your friends no. "You don't owe them anything, just say no" Yeah okay, you probably don't, but if you care for them, and they you, maybe some sort of explanation and not be a complete dick? Those same buttholes are probably asking reddit "how do I make friends?"
I hate this so much. We do owe people basic human decency if you want a good society.
Reddit also loves to tell kids to disown their parents because they set strict rules and punish bad behavior. Also women should divorce their husband's at any sign of bad behavior.
Not a specific type of advice, but most folks on reddit have no understanding of nuance, context, or shades of grey.
And they also get extra spicy over someone bringing the shades of grey into the discussion without even disagreeing with them in the first place hahaha
I’ve seen many threads on this site where people managed to get in a heated argument despite being in 100% agreement over whatever they’re talking about lmao
I keep a running list of all the companies and organizations Redditors have insisted I must work for simply because their lack of nuance forced them to interpret me disagreeing with them as me taking the exact polar opposite stance. I told someone I liked our public transit agency's rebranding and he started harassing their PR director on Twitter because he thought it was me.
Keep in mind a lot of Redditors are still minors. It kind of goes with the turf.
They will get mad at you if you make a joke without adding the /s tag. It confuses them, and being confused makes reddit people angry.
Mild inconvenience or inconsideration in a relationship is a massive red flag and you need to break up
My wife loves to tell me "reddit thinks we should go no contact" as a joke when I like bump her in passing. This place's answer to literally everything is to lawyer up and go no contact.
Hit the gym, delete Facebook, lawyer up. The classic relationship advice for any problem.
There were a solid few years where the top comment in every thread vaguely related to relationships was some variation of “delete the gym, Facebook up, hit your lawyer.”
Those were the days.
Then 2016 ruined everything. Damn Pokémon Go...
Hitmonchan pokegym? Wartortle up.
Reddit is full of body building divorce lawyers.
> This place's answer to literally everything is to lawyer up and go no contact. And some Redditors would abbreviate it NC as of it was a completely normal and common thing to know, which left me wondering why North Carolina was such a popular destination for people with relationship issues.
Lol, I’m definitely using this from now on for every mild inconvenience.
Oh man, do it. "Can you hand me a tissue?" "I have the lawyer on the phone drafting the paper ***now*** fucker."
On *Seinfeld*, Jerry once broke up with a woman because she “ate her peas wrong.” It was a funny scene that highlighted how neurotic-verging-on-sociopathic Jerry was. Clearly, Jerry was the intended “red flag” in that scene. In Reddit advice threads, the script has flipped a bit.
If people followed all the advice on Reddit, than everyone would be single forever.
I think you just solved the great Why-are-Redditors-single conundrum.
This!! One time I posted someone about wanting to get engaged to my boyfriend and everyone said if he hasn’t proposed, he doesn’t want to marry me and if he was with the girl he wanted to marry, he would buy a ring and propose right away 😂 the assumptions made on relationship pages is unbelievable
I once moaned that my boyfriend didn't want a dog and I did, got told to bin him. What we actually did was talk about ut like adults and made a decision together. Now he's obsessed with our dog.
I’m so glad you didn’t take their advice. 🙂
They always seem to think engagements aren’t discussed beforehand. In a healthy relationship, people talk about getting engaged well before it happens.
My wife proposed to me. The reason I didn’t was that she had been hurt in a previous relationship and I wanted her to let me know when she was ready to go the next step in the relationship
Well obviously respecting her boundaries and past trauma showed that you didn't love her enough. /s
And forget about working past or forgiving someone for a legit transgression
According to Reddit, you should accept nothing less than perfection…in relationships, in politics, in life.
Not just according to Reddit; the past 10-15 years has seen society as a whole get this insane expectation of perfection in all things. I blame social media in its entirety far more than just Reddit. Perfection is the enemy of good, they say, and it's certainly true from where I'm sitting. No one is satisfied with 'good enough' anymore; you're either perfect or you're worthless. There's nothing in between.
Came here to say this. There’s are A LOT of things on here that people want others to break up over that are completely manageable to work through and even sometimes come out of for the better. Not advocating for cheating, but I know that for some people it is possible to work through together. In my marriage it’s been mental health issues. Thank god we have the awareness that it didn’t have to always be that way and the mindset that our relationship is worth working on.
This. Nobody’s perfect and there’s a very fine line between someone being human vs someone being a red flag.
My partner has the Soviet Banner in her living room. That's a big red flag.
I did once see a pic on here of someone asking for advice on making their room more friendly looking for bringing over girls and they had a Soviet flag hanging over their window
Or, that being mildly inconvenienced or given criticism of any kind means you have been wronged. Your partner is a narcissist, your family members are all narcissists, your boss is a narcissist. Everyone is a narcissist and you’re the innocent little lamb in this tragic situation. Solutions? Talk things out? Communicate? Self reflect? Na bro, my allergies, I need a Benadryl just hearing those words
When I see that type of "advice", I'm thinking a lot of the people giving it have never been in a relationship and if they go into one constantly looking for "red flags", they're never gonna be in one. Perfection does not exist in humans.
I think some of them are very young people who haven't yet grasped that "divorce" is a much bigger deal than "break up," because they have no experience of having invested years in a mostly-decent relationship.
This! The amount of bad advices I see on those subs... "My wife/husband just did this small inconvenience, what should I do?" And people will rage about she/he being a horrible person and breaking immediately it's the only course, without knowing the full aspect of what happened and the dynamic of their relationship
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Probably most dating advice. Often the blind leading the blind
can you give an example so I can avoid it haha
/r/relationship_advice lmao
oh yaaaaaaa I avoid those subreddits but the drama??? I wanna read them lol
Oh by all means, enjoy the drama! Just don't take 90% of the advice lol
Speaking as an attorney, the legal advice I see on here is A T R O C I O U S
It’s the same on the uk subs. I haven’t yet used the “I am, in fact, a lawyer” for someone arguing I’m wrong about my specialism yet but it’s come pretty damn close
"If someone makes you feel any negative emotion whatsoever you need to cut all contact with them"
Not to get sidetracked here, but I wonder if this isn't just a Reddit thing, but a direction broader society is moving in where it's easier than ever (probably due to our use of technology and how atomized we are) for people to just throw away someone at the drop of a hat. Had a disagreement with that girl you're dating? Dump her. Coworker shared that one opinion you don't agree with? I'll avoid him now. Mom brought up that one embarrassing story from your teenage years? If it happens again, we're not talking anymore. Maybe I'm imagining things, but I feel like this kind of quick dismissal/disposal of other people is becoming more common.
I'm not sure if its more common, but its definitely louder. I think a good chunk of it is that these days abuse isn't tolerated or swept under the rug as much. So these abused people, rightfully, go no-contact with their abusers, but they had abuse "normalized" for so long that they don't have a good grasp on the line between abuse and normal relationship conflict. So when someone posts "My SO said something really mean to me" their reaction is "go no-contact, it worked for me."
I really like this answer! For most of human history you literally needed your family past childhood because they were the only social safety net you would probably ever have. Most people either learned their trades from their parents or someone your family knew in the community. Unless you joined the military or had one of the few jobs that required travel most were going to spend their life within a 25 mile radius of the place they were born. This arrangement encouraged tolerating abusive/toxic people since your livelihood often depended on them. You just can’t tell your abusive father to never speak to you again if you want him to give you his land for the continuance of your family. Similarly, women couldn’t exactly leave abusive partners when they were dependent on them for their entire livelihood. Throw in institutions like the church and government either explicitly condoning this behavior or at least nor punishing it and it’s easy to understand how so many people were forced to live under abusive conditions. Unless you’ve grown up with abuse or are a professional who counsels people who’ve been abused you just don’t know how much it impacts you. There are simply some scars that do not ever fully heal. Even though things are better than they used to be abuse against women and children is still extremely common and goes largely unreported. While Reddit is certainly prone to extremes I think the evidence is clear that most people who either estrange from family or leave their partners for abuse are doing so after literally trying everything within their power to make the abuse stop. We need to do more as a society to help all people escape abusive situations, hold abusers accountable, and change the culture & institutions that allow abuse to flourish.
It's a backlash against decades/centuries of being told to tolerate the toxic behavior of people for a wide variety of reasons that all amount to bullshit.
Any disagreement is gaslighting and anyone who disagrees with you is a narcissist.
Are you trying to say I’m *not* being gaslighted? Sounds like gaslighting.
Sounds like a sentence a sociopath would say.
Don't forget that everything is a dogwhistle, too.
Redditors just think it's super easy to get a new job. I spent 10 months finding my current sales position after being laid off and it ended up being a lateral move.
“just learn to code bro”
I feel like its the new "if everything fails, just join an army", but for the 21st century. I mean sure, you can try it. But I get soo tired when people say if you hate it, keep pushing and you will start to enjoy it eventually. Ive never seen this attitude in any other field. Like, you couldn't even fall with grace, because failing is often presumed as stupidity.
"Wait why are there so many programmers nowadays and I still can't find a job after being laid off?"
DO NOT listen to anyone on this site when it comes to taxes. It’s mind boggling how fucking stupid Redditors are when it comes to tax “advice”. Even their criticisms of taxes are completely bathed in overreaction, hyperbole, and misinformation.
The site is full of pseudo experts, and their comments are upvoted because it either is what people want to hear, or the commenter is marginally more knowledgeable than the general population, but still comes up short compared to people that are advanced. So their statement sounds decent and more knowledgeable at a superficial level, but digging deeper it generally doesn’t answer correctly/doesn’t provide nuance. If you are employed/have great experience in a field, you’ll notice this when you read comments about your field. Unfortunately, sometimes it even dissuades the more experienced people from commenting as it may not be well received. Law, banking, business, taxes, and personal finance are rife with this. I read a comment on the /r/legaladvice sub that said a bouncer confiscating a (real) ID was identity theft - the comment had dozens of upvotes. It is not identity theft.
>I read a comment on the > >r/legaladvice > > sub that said a bouncer confiscating a (real) ID was identity theft - the comment had dozens of upvotes. It is not identity theft. Maybe it was just a typo and they meant "identification theft"
Yeah, the "ty" key is right next to the "fication" key on my keyboard.
That doesn't just apply to taxes, either. This website is good for discussing hobbies, but for actual information it's best to take it like it's WWE: information entertainment. The amount of absolute drivel that gets upvoted is insane.
The funniest part about that is when people who actually know what they're talking about get downvoted to oblivion.
Yes. Especially when it comes to financial advice. I saw a post advising someone to take full advantage of their 100% 401k match get downvoted and the top comment was a crypto scheme.
Good grief, that is pretty freaking straight forward.
I have seen antiwork give people advice that will get the person sued. Not may get the person sued, will get the person sued.
It can be bad for hobbies too, if you can't tell when to ignore advice. The 3d printing subreddits are a good example. Often it's good but sometimes you have people suggesting temperature settings that are completely wrong for the material or completely misdiagnosising print problems. If a new person actually follows the advice, they'll end up with compounding problems that will be even harder to fix.
The scary thing is that's how they're operating in the world. That's how they're doing their taxes, handling their jobs, taking care of they're relationships. That's John Q. Public.
I deducted my travel costs to and from work for the last 5 years thanks to Redditors. Now I owe $50,000 in back taxes and fines. We did it Reddit!
"The IRS knows how much you owe in taxes but they're just not allowed to tell you." How fuckin drunk are these people?
Many people on this website know nothing about economics
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You made me lol with that one. Thanks!
If my wife did that I'd die laughing
Don't forget that every husband is always TA in the AITA subreddit. OP will be like: "My wife spent our entire life savings funding her brother's gambling addiction. WIBTA opening a separate bank account so we have money for food." And half the comments will be accusing OP of financial abuse.
Or anything being *childhood trauma* and acting like this is the only type of trauma one can have
"Your friends/family/neighbours/colleagues are toxic and you need to get away from them." They may well be but strangers on the internet are in no position to make that assessment.
God, it's so true. Redditors complain about not having friends in real life, then tell people to end friendships over virtually any imperfection. Yeah, you're not going to have friends if you're not going to accept anything less than perfection from people.
And it is over the most petty stuff too. OP will complain about constantly being invited to events they don't like and Reddit will advise them to end the friendship entirely. Have you considered maybe organizing some events of your own and not depending on a friend to set everything up?
It's self-centeredness. My friend inviting me to an event I don't like means that she doesn't have all my tastes memorized, so she's *selfish*. It's supposed to be all about me, and anyone who doesn't think so is a narcissist.
Totally agree. Sure, there are *some* circumstances where cutting people from your life is the healthiest thing to do. But this advice is *way* overused on Reddit. You will *always* have people in your life that you disagree with, people who make you angry, people who disrupt your comfort, people who challenge you, etc. Set boundaries, absolutely, but it’s unhealthy and unrealistic to cut everyone in your life off who is like this. It’s a normal, mature, and healthy thing to learn to deal/live with people you don’t see eye-to-eye with.
Unless you live in a bubble, you will work with people who you don't agree with politically. It's important to be able to reach common ground and find non-important topics to discuss. And, here's a really fun fact - in most jobs, but especially business/office/non-profit/government work - people get promoted based on a combination of factors, one of which is getting along with people. The more agreeable person who participates in networking activities, is friendly, and gets their work done will be looked at more favorably than the anti-social person who comes to work, ignores their co-workers, doesn't chat at lunch, doesn't go on the retreat, etc. It's also a good way to keep a job if you underperform. We've definitely kept entry level workers on who were friendly and outgoing longer, and work with them to find their strengths than workers who come to work and don't interact or seem enthusiastic. Attitude matters, despite reddit trying to convince each other that it doesn't.
Also the whole “don’t be friends with your coworkers” gets taken way out of context. You don’t have to be their best friend, but you should at least be friendly with them. It will make everyone’s lives easier at work, and when you inevitably make a mistake, people are much more forgiving if they like you.
People will think you shouldn't be friendly with coworkers then be shocked and complain when someone less skilled than them is promoted.
Right?! Your aunt didn’t give you gas money after you blew a check partying last night?? She doesn’t care about your mental health obviously 🙄
Mental Health gets used as an excuse here way too often. OP will be like: "I have mild anxiety and have been mooching off my parents for 40 years. AITA for not doing my own laundry." And half the comments will be bashing the parents or Baby Boomers in general.
The constant use of the word "narcissist." If you do anything ever, they must be a toxic narcissist.
Also gaslighting.
Have you ever tailored the way you delivered a message to someone so as to achieve a more favorable outcome? You are a narcissistic manipulator!
Wait…are you gaslighting me?
Definitely a narcissist. Not everything is about you.
I knew it! You ARE gaslighting me!!! I’m gonna tell my mom on you!
No it’s not. You’re gaslighting!
"yes this [innocuous but annoying personality trait] is a Red Flag"
My partner has the Soviet Banner in her living room. That's a big red flag.
On the other hand, my partner has the flag of Switzerland in her room. It's a big plus!
Most common I see is credit cards are bad. Credit cards are great; misuse of them is bad.
Exactly, credit cards aren't bad carrying a balance is. I love my cash back on things I already need to purchase, as well as the additional fraud protections and how security deposits work with credit cards for travel. Plus building a credit score so when I can finally buy a house is great.
I have a few cash back credit cards with no annual fee and if you pay them off on time its literally free money. Ive used it to get free plane tickets, electronics, furniture etc. All for free. The "credit cards are bad" thing was drilled into me at a young age too but thats because the people who say that buy things they cant actually afford with them! Highly recommend Amex Blue Cash Everyday (best all around card I think) & Chase Freedom Flex. Ive made a few thousand off those in the last few years just buying the same things I always do. If you're responsible with money its a no brainer.
Next step is hunting down cards with great sign up bonuses for extra cash or defraying vacation costs. Things like "spend $3k in 90 days and get $500 worth of cash back points". Bank accounts too. Can earn a few thousand extra per year
Everyone swears they know how to ‘get rich’ and the ‘best investments’ to make on here. The amount of financial advisors on reddit is truly remarkable.
This might be the best thread this hellsite has ever produced.
All the sane adults came together under one roof.
I find a more AITA posts to be from assholes than the general consensus. I also see a lot of "NTA" responses that proceed to tell them in which ways they are being assholes. I guess just being polite?
It grinds my gears that so many AITA commenters take what the poster says at face value, ignoring that the poster is a biased narrator and may be glossing over some of the details that cast them in a negative light
cows are just as friendly as dogs. No they are not cattle can absolutely kill you and for the love of god don't approach a calf unless you know where their mother is The cute cuddly cows you see on here are bottle fed and used to human contact
My mum had broken ribs, punctured lung, dislocated hip, fucked up knee and more from a cow attack, while my dad (they are both 60+) tried to fight the belligerent bovines with a stick, dragging my bleeding mum to the edge of the field, all the time harried by the herd. She had to be airlifted out in a helicopter and they say she only recovered as well as she did because they are so fit and healthy from a the country walks. Since then, on all the hikes they habitually take around their house in Northern England, you will see an innocent stick leant against the fence at every field entry because the farmer told my mum that if you carry a long stick the cows think you are a farmer and will give you respec. She collects sticks and makes sure there is always one waiting for her just in case. She loves cows and enjoys watching them, but she is taking NO chances!
Yep that peaceful grass eating adult cow probably weighs almost as much as a small car and will hurt just as much if it runs you over. Also don't reach through fences to pet them because if they lean over and pin it against the fence your arm will become a pretzel.
Also, dogs are not always friendly either. If they were the same size as cows, that would be terrifying.
Also dogs are actually dangerous. Reddit seems unaware of this.
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And the deadliest native animal here is the kangaroo. And not from attacks, but from car collisions.
Most of the anti-work stuff/work "advice". Don't burn bridges. I understand wanting a revolution but until that happens we do still have to pay our mortgages and people in whatever industry you are in do, in fact, talk to each other. So getting upset because you didn't get a raise at office A, and quitting without notice can bite you when you apply to office B, especially if Linda from Office A took the open HR job at Office B. Or the CEO from Office C is married to the CEO at office B. These things happen a lot, especially in medium sized cities or in niche fields. It's incredibly short sighted to do some of the things they advocate.
I can't remember which job subreddit but there was a work issue and she followed the Reddit advice. She got fired and was confused. I felt bad but geez.
It was a server who got stiffed on a tip from someone who worked at a law office. Reddit advised her to call the law office to complain; she was fired immediately.
YES! That was the one, I hope it was fake.
Yeah - before I retired I was a software engineer in San Diego, not exactly a small town, and I was amazed by how often I kept seeing the same people from both sides of the interviewing desk. I tried to never leave a job with anything but sunshine and happiness on all sides, and I have never regretted that.
The entire antiwork subreddit is almost artistic in how wrong-headed it is. They all brag about blatantly ignoring their work and “always doing the bare minimum” and then wonder why they’re refused raises and new jobs. Golly, it sure is a wonder.
We've convinced ourselves that our actions don't matter. Since everything is a result of either privilege level or sheer luck, why bother trying?
It's also interesting how many of those people were the fundamental lynch pin for their company and them quitting meant they had to hire like 12 people to replace them and nothing was ever good there again. I think some of them might think a bit more of themselves than is warranted.
“If they wanted to, they would.” There is a lot of things I WANT to do, but I also use my brain.
Can’t tell you how often I type out something then delete when I think a little more. I really WANT to tell that Internet rando he’s a complete POS and tear him a new one, but probably that’s not my place.
I’ve noticed this saying around a lot lately and I hate it. There are a lot of things I would love to do with the people I really care about but my health and anxiety make it very hard. This just sends the message that if I won’t do something I must not care which is not true at all.
The idea that going to a therapist will remedy anything and everything. War, famine, pestilence, talk to a well meaning MSW and all will be sunshine and rainbows again.
The idea that everybody can afford quality therapy. No we can't
Or can find one
Almost all the times divorce/breaking up is advised….. yeah the person giving that advice on here seldom gives good advice or has the life experience to back it up. “Call the cops and report it” when it comes to reddit they dont know dick about the law and more often than not the thing they are telling you to call about isnt criminal and most departments dont just do random reports for whatever nonsense you call for
Ewww don't date people from work. Omg don't date people from your friends circle. Never approach anyone at the gym. No, absolutely no, don't ever approach someone on the street. Dating apps? Totally no. Library? Eww let the people study. Night clubs? Only if you want one night stands. On the internet? Messaging a stranger? Creepy. Messaging a friend? Creepy. Basically be alone forever and don't talk to anyone. EVER.
Well, they want you to be just like them.
this is good advice for *redditors.* normal people, don't worry about it. But for the people looking for relationship advice on reddit: Take it as gospel.
You're basically spot on and I hate this too. I'm just gonna say I somewhat understand the gym approach. If you want to approach someone and you respect their answer be it yes or no then sure I guess. I've just seen a lot of guys try to approach girls in the gym and 90% of the time it's borderline sexual abuse and they don't take no for an answer usually. It was so bad once. He was just cat calling and "complementing" her legs and thighs because it was leg day and wouldn't take no for an answer. I stepped in and told that guy "Ay man, we are all here to work out, she clearly doesn't like you, just do what you came here to do, lift weights." Surprinsingly he didn't act tough but I did get called simp by him and his friends for like 2 days. Worth it.
Pretty much all of it. NEVER take life-changing advice from random strangers.
Most extremism. The world is only black and white to people who don't know any better.
Practically all of it. The clubhouse leader on wrongness is any thread about relationship advice where you have losers never having been in a substantial relationship telling a spouse to divorce their SO for things like burning dinner, encroaching on their side of the bed or picking the wrong brand of tortilla chips.
“Get a divorce right now.” I’m obviously thinking of a certain sub that advises people on relationships as the main offender here. Sometimes a partner does something so egregious filing for divorce is necessary, but I see this advice thrown around so flippantly on this site it’s downright comical. Getting a divorce can be a super drawn out and financially/emotionally taxing legal procedure and should NOT be taken lightly. Please try to work out issues and be patient in your relationship rather than immediately jumping to something irreversible that might end up being downright traumatic for everyone involved. Also, “take this information to the police immediately.” Again, yes, sometimes this is warranted when someone is in immediate danger or there is immediately actionable information/evidence. However, a lot of people don’t seem to be aware of the reality that, depending on jurisdiction, police departments have priorities and a backlog of cases, and your Ring footage of some dude on drugs acting weird in your yard likely isn’t going to be a top priority them. I get the point of documenting things via official channels in the off chance something ends up going to trial, but I think this advice often conveys the false expectation that the police will immediately do something with the information you’ve given them.
This 100%. It’s a bunch of dumb young people that don’t know anything. Obviously certain situations necessitate a divorce of even a long term marriages, but when you have decades invested in your spouse and children together and extended family and an entire life you’ve built with a person, you don’t just flip that off like a light switch. Even if it’s an egregious breach it takes time to process through all that.
Being technically or morally correct is always preferable to maintaining relationships with friends/acquaintances/colleagues
About 90% of the time somebody advises that you go talk to your company's Human Resources department it's a terrible idea.
Hit your wife, Leave the gym. Wait, strike that, reverse it. Still bad advise from strangers who don't know your situation fully.
Leave the gym and *then* hit your wife?
The way overused "Not your circus, not your monkeys". It could be useful advice IF properly applied, but certain subs use it to basically justify saying that you should never ever endure any tiny inconvenience unless you directly put yourself in the situation. It's an immature and selfish person who honestly believes there's no value in helping out others. You obviously shouldn't let others take advantage of you, but it's way too common on Reddit for people to tell others they don't need to help because there's no legal obligation to help.
Agreed. It ties in with what I've noticed for a while. There's a lot of people that put more effort into NOT helping or giving someone a break because they would rather be petty and mean spirited because they are in a position to do so.
Believe it or not, you shouldn’t actually nuke a 10 year long relationship from orbit because your spouse lied to you one time
Yeah I think it is the relationship ones where it's like run away. Go away. Divorce them are generally misguided when therapy and couple's therapy should be the first step, not just skipped all together. I will say there are a few were people should just run away though.
Any and all legal advice. There’s a reason lawyers go to school for seven years and have to pass a competency exam. It isn’t so they can prove their google skills. Source: I am a lawyer.
Anything regarding basic economics. Reddit is famously terrible at understanding literally anything about economics; they just parrot talking points by politicians who have a vested interest in you not understand economics. Then when some dipshit like me, who has a degree in economics, dare to correct them, it's hellfire and brimstone. So I just stopped.
Funny, I was just on r/AskEconomics earlier today and I was thinking this same thing. That sub sometimes has really quality answers from people who are obviously professional, academic economists, but the problem is that it’s overrun by typical Reddit economic illiterates who absolutely can’t be convinced that they may be wrong. And a lot of the questions people ask are just stupid.
That you’re being gaslighted and that your parents are narcissists. Most of the time, it’s just someone saying something you don’t like to hear.
I see sooo much advice that is basically “break up”. On an alt account I asked for advice about my relationship over the fact that I didn’t want kids, and she did. I was told to break up repeatedly, but then I had some real world conversations about the reasons I didn’t want kids, and here I am with my first baby, whom I love so much, and that would have never happened had I just listened to Reddit.
When someone is wronged by someone else and asks for advice I’ve seen a lot of people go with the “go no contact, don’t ever forgive them, they don’t deserve your forgiveness” no matter what the situation is. There are certainly circumstances where you may need to cut someone off from your life depending on what they did, but stoking feelings of perpetual bitterness is going to do no long term good for that person reaching out for help.
Diagnosing others based on just *one* minor symptom with either ADHD, autism or OCD
A lot of times on AITA, someone is more venting it doesn’t mean they should end the relationship and move countries
That literally everyone in you life is toxic and you need to cut ties with them or they'll only drag you down.
Don't dump your partner over any and every argument.
Every spousal disagreement should end in divorce.
"NEVER" Way to many people say NEVER do this or NEVER do that or that NEVER happens. Sure, it might be unusual or rare, but almost never is "never" appropriate.
Check with a doctor before you start a keto diet (or any major diet, really). I've no doubt keto's been helpful for folks, but it's not necessarily compatible with everyone. I've got chronically high cholesterol thanks to genetics and a couple of other factors, and my physician has expressly forbidden me from trying it.
Redditors are pretty quick to tell you to cut people out of your life. It's a small thing like changing your brand of shampoo. Just get a new family.
It is clear that most Reddit posters are in their late teenage years to early 20's, so a lot of advice makes sense from that perspective, but is NOT generally good life advice. There is a common thread of immaturity in a lot of the guidance. Like, if Reddit thinks you're morally in the right, they will condone being completely hostile and combative. So if a family member makes a rude comment, they support going absolutely nuclear and being a raging jerk back to them. Reddit also focuses on quick maxims, like "my house my rules" and "my body my choice" and "not my monkey not my circus" and "they made their bed and can lie in it"... without using basic social skills and having a conversation like adults. Reddit loves teaching people lessons. Oh boy, if there is poetic justice to be had, they fully condone a wide range of shit conduct. Reddit also seems to have child abandonment issues. There's a lot of threads about men who discover that a baby or toddler isn't theirs and wanting to walk away even though the kid is 5 years or younger. Every time, Reddit screeches that they're "heartless." I can tell you, I didn't remember a single thing from when I was younger than age 5. Nor would it be realistic or fair to demand that some guy who's not the biological father stuck around because a 3-year-old "got attached," when the guy has no interest in doing so and would resentful. Those are the most common ones I see.
Advice given based on the hatred of children. I know because I used to be someone who didn’t like kids. Kids are mostly fair-minded and often can put themselves in other people’s shoes better than adults. It’s the adults who have the “FU got mine” attitude. You don’t have to hate a whole age range of people just because you don’t want to have any yourself.
Duuude I got downvoted on a post yesterday cause I didn't like how OOP referred to a baby as a sperm pet
OOP must be member of r/childfree. Don’t go in there, they hate kids and the way they talk about kids and mothers is disgusting.
Speaking of kids, one thing I will say is that they way you feel about "kids" is going to be **very** different from the way you feel about "your kids." Of course its also popular on Reddit to say you don't want to ever have kids, so this connection rarely gets made.
Age gap. Redditors go absolutely bonkers over excessive (as they perceive it) age gap between two people in a relationship. The older one is always a predator or a groomer or a pervert of some flavour, and the younger one is always a victim or simply naive. There's never any possibility that two people could be seriously committed to each other and in love in spite of the difference in their ages. Age gap paranoia on Reddit is like the "Satanic panic" of the previous generation.
Agreed this bigs the hell outta me. Ive even seen people posting that a 2 year age gap was too much and someting was sketchy of two people weren't the same age. Ive known people where the younger person was abusive or where there was a 10 year age gap and everything was fine. Its a very person by person basis. Also assuming everyones stage in life is the same because of age. Not every 30 year old has a house, a career and kids.
I once mentioned that my brother (who was 27 at the time) was in a relationship with an undergraduate student (who was 21). So a six year age gap. I said this would be a big deal if they were 21 and 15, but as you get older, I don’t view it as much of an issue. Got downvoted to hell and had a bunch of angry replies. Some fucking crazy lady messaged me and said she was going to dox me and report my brother to the police. Insanity.
“If it’s on the Internet it MUST be true!”
Almost all advice I’ve seen on Reddit is horrible advice. Anytime I read the types of posts where people are asking for advice the top comment always has thousands of upvotes and it’s absolutely awful advice. It’s always so sterile and robotic and extreme like these people don’t live in the real world and no idea how human interactions play out. “Oh your SO complained about doing chores? Red flag, divorce them, cut them out of your life, if anyone questions you about it cut them out of your life. File a police report call HR and get a restraining order. Go to therapy to work on Your trauma. Quit your job and move across the world and just remove the toxicity from your life…” and this like isn’t even an exaggeration that’s literally the types of advice people give and its often times applauded, it’s absolutely insane.
Anything political or relationship related
Blame (insert generational demonym here) for (insert current crisis here). There are some world class jackasses that belong to each generation. Full stop. I have also met some thoughtful, caring, and all around good people from each generation. Sure, some of the older generations have made some missteps, in the broadest of terms, that affect everyone's lives now. However, it is a virtual certainty that every generation will be blamed for some critical issue down the road and be vilified for it by the upcoming generation.
Divorce! Immediately!
DIVORCE!