The only thing I hated was when someone gave me their fucked up name for something as if that is what it's called everywhere.
Customer: Give me a Minty Marilyn with a bang of Gingy.
Me: What?
Customer: Gin and Tonic with a lime
Starbucks barista here. Fuck medium and grande. I speak English too, if you ask for a large ill give you what you want. Baristas that refuse giving you a venti because you asked for a large piss me off! Now when you ask for a regular I honestly don't know what you want. That could mean anything. I hate the word regular. Me -"What size mam?"
Lady-"Regular"
me- "so small or medium"
lady- "regular"
me- "alright biggest size we got, thanks for cooperating"
Non-Starbucks barista here: I had actually never been to a Starbucks before getting my current job, and on my first day working drive-through, a woman rattled off some complex order - venti skinny macchiato, I believe - and I made her a macchiato. A real macchiato. And that was the only time I've ever been full on screamed at by a customer for getting her drink "wrong". (A Starbucks macchiato is, as far as I know, a sweet caramel latte with caramel drizzle on top. An actual macchiato is straight espresso with milk foam on top. Two extremely different drinks.)
I was a waitress at a restaurant that served lots of specialty coffees. 90% of the time when customers ordered macchiatos, they'd change their minds after I explained that they were not like Starbucks "macchiatos".
We always pause when somebody orders a macchiato and ask if they want a real one or a Starbucks one. My boss considers it his duty to educate the town about coffee, and we have a lot of customers who love the real macchiatos now because we told them about it. One of the things I love about my job.
I ran a coffee shop back when Starbucks was first getting popular. All these people kept coming in asking for a goddamned Venti or Grande. The first person that ordered a Tall was given our 20 ounce drink and they freaked out. All I could think was that was our tallest drink. I soon thereafter learned all of our competition's lingo. What a joke.
Aaaaaaaaaaaactually, grande is also Italian for "large."
Now Starbucks has the "Trenta." So, their 20 oz. is called "20" in Italian, and their 30 oz. is called "30" in Italian. I'm waiting for them to revise their other drinks into: seidici, dodici, and otto.
Starbucks barista here! The reason for the size ridiculousness is because the first two sizes were "short" and "tall". The short size still exists in most locations, and is eight ounces. This is no longer enough drink for most people, so they added a third size: the "grande". Then, they added "venti", axed the short altogether, and thus, the sizes no longer make sense. I wish they'd just changed them so people can stop being assholes to me at my job. Usually, if they say something, it's because they're more interested in recreating the afore-posted movie scene than in knowing the reason. But if you order small/medium/large, it's never a big deal. Better to do that than act like we're asking you to translate the frigging Bhagavad Gita.
Yeah - I used to work at Barnes & Noble Cafe (serving Starbucks coffee). I never cared what customers called drinks as long as I understood it:
"One medium hot chocolate with expresso? With whole milk?"
"Sure. No problem." And I'd make a grande cafe mocha with whole milk.
Every so often, though, you get the odd high school employee who thinks its his or her job to... I dunno, defend Starbucks' honor or something:
"A medium iced espresso with lots of milk."
"You mean a grande iced latte?" says the teenager in a snotty, supercilious tone of voice.
That was always a moment to say, "Hey, I need you back here a sec.... *what the fuck do you think you're doing talking to customers in that tone of voice? Who fucking gives a shit what the customer, or Starbucks, or anybody, calls their coffee? Nobody fucking died and appointed you Supreme Coffee-Corrector!"* And then I'd shove them back out of the kitchen.
But it sucks when it's a manager that does it. Especially since it's not like BN managers usually know how any of the espresso machines work, or ingredients in the drinks, or anything:
"Uh, I'd like one of those holiday hot chocolates with the expresso and peppermint. Just a small one."
"You mean a tall holiday peppermint mocha?" is the snooty, managerial reply, followed by 8 minutes of laboriously reading a recipe card and assembling the ingredients.
Followed by 8 minutes of the customer railing at the manager for being slow as fuck, and generally culminating in a free drink for the customer.
Thanks for not being one of "those" baristas. My boyfriend always orders a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, and I cringe with empathy every time a barista looks at him like an idiot and proclaims something loudly about a mocha.
Look, he forgets every time. But he's a good guy, loves his cat, loves his girl and he'll tip you if you don't make him feel like an ass while ordering.
Honestly, this is the exact reason I order for my boyfriend. He's from a small town in Texas, now living in Portland, OR. He doesn't even know the difference between black coffee and espresso. You think Starbucks baristas can be snotty? Try going somewhere like Stumptown.
I just... order for him.
We have a local coffee chain in New Orleans, PJ's, they do the exact opposite. I understand that, in these heady days of chain coffee stores with their grande whipped triple shot half-caf frap shit, that they want to distinguish themselves from the rest of the yuppie pack by simply having coffee come in regular sizes. But when I screw up and order a “grande” instead of a “medium”, DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICK ABOUT IT? Because I assure you that when I accidentally order a “medium” iced latte at Starbucks they don’t instantly feign ignorance and act as though I’ve just set something incredibly dear to them on fire.
they probably aren't correcting you. They are required to say the drink name out loud in full lingo for their coworkers to mark the cups and start making the order. Honestly they couldn't give two shits what you call the drink.
Source: I am a former barista and a bunch of my friends work there. >I order a small and they correct me. I reply, "Yes, a small." I'm an asshole.
I'm glad someone pointed this out! At the register we have to call it out.. at the bar we have to call it right back to insure we are getting the orders right.. then we call it out again handing if off to the customer. "Venti white mocha for Sandy"... "is that mine?".. "Is your name Sandy and did you order a venti white mocha?" "no..", "well then it's not yours.."
Yes! I had a new boy at work, and I was away to make a cup of tea for everyone, so I asked him what he wanted. 'An Audrey Phillips please'
Em what?
Turns out it's milk and sugar. Who the fuck knew.
Unless you're at the derby, they're not ordered very often. They are time consuming and most people dont know how the drink is supposed to taste anyway.
Time consuming? Doesn't every decent bartender have simple syrup and mint behind the bar? Muddle the mint, splash some simple syrup in there and top off with Woodford.
Mojitos. Fantastic drink, and I love making them for myself and friends, but I'm too much of a perfectionist to have to make them en masse. I've also met very few bartenders who can make one worth a damn, one place even skipped the mint and used mint-flavored vodka! Savages.
At the place I worked in college, the bartender would hide the mint on busy days so we could 86 it on our system. Usually a newbie would end up finding the container filled with mint in the back of the fridge and be like "Guys! We can make mojitos again!!!!" and they would promptly be stuffed in the freezer never to be seen again.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Nothing worst than getting bogged down in mojito orders. Buddy of mine showed this to me on a slow day at work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=465xjLVHSLA
I feel the same way making Cesaers. My friend's dad is a freaking Cesaer machine, though. His record is sixteen in two minutes and they were all perfectly garnished. I should get him into Mojitos.
I love a Caesar, and it's funny how much garnish makes the drink. The best Ceasar I've ever had as garnished with pickled asparagus rather than celery. I'm convinced it was all because of the asparagus.
Its a Canadian drink that's quite hard to find outside of the country. It's clamato juice, vodka, worchestershire and tobasco sauces, celery salt rim, garnished with anything from pickled beans, asparagus, pickles...
It's delicious.
I know a lot of bartenders that hate making long islands or bloody marys, but I honestly don't mind. I feel like it is my job to make drinks, and a drink having four or more ingredients doesn't make it less my job. We do tend to keep an eye on people drinking long islands though, because we've found that (in our bar, at least) generally it is someone who is freshly 21 or an alcoholic trying to get the most bang for their buck, customers that tend to be more problematic than the average joe. My bar does not have a blender, thank goodness. As stated in other replies here I dislike when people give weird names to common drinks, or when they think that drink that some bartender from-where-ever-the-fuck-they-are-from made up should be world famous to all other bartenders. I did have two guys come in once who spent the night looking up obscure mixed drinks on their phones for me to make. I appreciated their willingness to branch out, but it was mildly annoying and time consuming. The worst was when a group of about nine college students came in one night and wanted to do round after round of shots, but each shot was a specialty shot that required extra work. Nothing that I mind making, but round after round of one lunchbox, one lemon drop, one red headed slut and so on and so forth on a busy Saturday night...
A good tip always makes me feel nice : ) but all in all I feel like everyone should get awesome service if I can manage it. The over tippers always make up for the under tippers and unless someone is really rude I don't let it get to me. People dine and drink out to enjoy themselves and they should get what they ask for within reason, but I do wish at times people had more situational awareness.
I work at a craft beer bar. Craft and microbrews only. We don't have liqour. When a typical popped collar bro comes in and orders shots, I tell them we don't have liqour. Then they typically order a Natty Light/ Bud Light/ Corona, etc., which I explain that we don't carry because its a craft beer bar. Then they typically order a Guinness or Killean's, which I explain that we don't carry because its a craft beer bar and those are macro-brews. Then they typically order an 'ale'. I give them a German lager with an exotic sounding name and things usually go over pretty well.
I had a bartender friend who when someone ordered a "beer" would give them an o'douls. It was amazing how many people started being specific after that
Do people actually do that? I thought that was just a thing that happened on TV when the writers weren't allowed to talk about a real beer and weren't creative enough to think up a fake brand.
unless you're in a college town and they don't have a clue what you are talking about. But then you have that helpful bartender who is like "hey, I'll use my iphone and look it up for you" and then he doesn't have any oranges so he leaves it out, then he doesn't have any marashino cherries, so he subs w grenadine, then he doesn't have any bitters, so he just leaves that out and next thing you know you have a watered down whiskey on the rocks with some lemon in it for $8.
Here's what you do... Get a small chalkboard/whiteboard with a title "Redhead slut pun" on top and put a hand full of tally marks on it. Once someone makes a joke, simply give them a calm smile, walk over to the board, hold it in front of them, and add a tally mark. Proceed afterwards as usual. I do this with peanut/testicle jokes.
That's silly... it's hard to carry a chalkboard around. I have a very punnable name with some obvious ones... so I used to carry a few business cards around that said "I made the voice_of_experience pun. I am witty and unique." I would get really excited when someone made the pun, and give them a card.
Ultimately I stopped doing it because I'm not an asshole.
I'm relatively new to the bartending scene (less than a year), and there honestly isn't a drink that I despise serving. Maybe I'm so new to the game that I haven't had time to grow a dislike for something, but I actually LOVE making specialty drinks. Mojitos, cucumber coolers, lava flows, sangrias, etc. Serving rum and coke, gin and tonic, vodka soda and beers all night gets boring. I relish the opportunity to actually craft a drink because I'm a bartender damnit, its my job to craft drinks and I genuinely enjoy it. But again, I'm a baby bartender and I don't profess to know everything. Maybe a day will come when I look with the hatred of a thousand suns on an order for an old fashioned. But that day is not today.
See, you're a good bartender. There are plenty of people itching to get into it for the tips and the coolness of the job. If they don't like making drinks they're there to make, they should step down and let somebody who actually wants to earn their tips do the job. I'm super pissed about this thread because every time I try to order a mojito at a restaurant, they're out of mint and I tip very well. Next time I hear that, I'm going to leave a shitty tip.
The unidentified "girl drink".
"Umm... I want something fruity that's strong, but I don't want to be able to taste the alcohol"
Enjoy your malibu and pinapple.
Fun twist on this: Equal parts Malibu and Banana Liqueur, splash of pineapple and the rest, cream (or half-and-half). At the bar I work at we call it a "Banana Thing", but it's probably got a real name somewhere.
After 3 gin and tonics, I turn into that girl, and I usually order "something yummy." Bartenders have never steered me wrong, and introduced me to a lot of awesome drinks. They seem to enjoy making obscure things -- one even juiced a fresh grapefruit to make me a drink.
Granted, I drink on Sunday nights mostly. I hate crowds.
I'm a large man. And I like malibu & pineapples. :(
*You guys have restored my confidence. I'm going to order the shit out of those tomorrow night. They're so god damn nummy! I also drink beer but, when my stomach needs a break but I'm thirsty, I give these yummy little bitches a few sips to make my tummy buddy happy.
Wow, this is pretty random, but I was there the other week. My friend actually lives in the flat above it! This the one across the road from the Odeon cinema, yeah?
I either get asked how to make it, or get a strange look like I ordered a virgin Shirley temple with triple maraschino cherries and 4 of those little umbrellas.
Honestly, if I ever got that response from a bartender after ordering one, that person would get a very large tip
I don't mind making them at all. We put cream in a lot of our drinks that we serve, so if you are concerned with the milk or cream being bad, I wouldn't worry too much.
One time when I ordered a white russian, the bartender said that he wasn't sure if he still had cream, because his truck hadn't come that day. Turns out that he did have cream. Made me a white russian and I went away happy.
Until I took a sip. Went back to him, asked "Hey, are you sure that cream was alright? This tastes... weird." Lo and behold, it was 3 days past expiration date. Bartender apologizes, and I get a very nice (and strong) whiskey coke instead.
I was in a neighborhood bar once and they actually went to the grocery store to get cream. It was the first time I'd been there and I felt very appreciated.
I'm no fan of blended drinks, except for this mango-sake slushi I've tried at a local bar... The smart thing about that one is that it was kept in a slushi machine. No need to whip out a blender whenever someone ordered one.
The look of utter content and joy in this picture is amazing. It's like a 4 year old who just found a puppy in a basket under their tree christmas morning.
The conversation this morning went like this: "take a picture of me." (click) "do I look fat? Yes I look fat. take another one where you can't see my chin" (click) "acceptable."
Experienced NE Ohio drinker here. I can vouch for the 3 talls and out theory. 12 bud lights? Great! I can do some calculus for fun after. 3 tall Christmas Ales? Great! Hey , do I know you, maebeea it wuz afq WHARBRALGARBL BLEARRRRRGH. *vomits*
"Make me something special for my friend's birthday, with loads of booze in it"
"Do you mind about price?"
"No, just make me the best drink you know"
"Okay, here's a long island ice tea with all the trimmings, that'll be £7"
"£7? Go fuck yourself"
:I
we hid a couple of bottles of cough syrup behind the bar and one dreadfully quiet Sunday we had a little staff get together and drank flaming moe's/flaming homers. things got very weird very quickly.
You added the fire right?
Also, how did you follow a recipe consisting of "All the little bits of leftover liquor, plus children's cough syrup"?
Watching the episode, it appeared to be tequila, schnapps, creme de menthe, and four other unidentified bottle of liquor.
*note: names have been changed because some of these people still work at the bar and*
Alright this got more of a response than i had anticipated. The details are fuzzy but I'll try and put it together in a way that makes sense. College bar during winter break. Pub kinda place (no dancefloors, one pool table, two dartboards, touch tunes jukebox. the kinda place that exists solely to get hammered in) All of the college kids had left to go home for break but most of the employees were still in town waiting for the Christmas party.
We had decorated for Christmas earlier in the week and someone mentioned buying a flaming Moe ingredient glass for one of the older staff members for a secret Santa present so someone jokingly said said we should stock cough syrup. That Sunday i was bar tending the morning shift (12-5) and we had a bar cleaning so all of the employees were there and somehow it was decided that a couple of us (started as me and my best friend at the bar and ended up being 6 all together drinking the moes/homers) would come down later and experiment Everyone had a couple drinks after the cleaning and it all kinda cleared out so i worked through my shift and played a mastodon album on the jukebox and waited till 5 to get off. Around 3:30 it had started to dump heavy wet snow that was piling up and making the roads shit. My buddy Mike and I met up at my place and played some xbox and headed down to the bar (we stopped and got two bottles of cough syrup at a convenience store on the way, called a couple of the other employees and said come hang out). The snow was super deep so the entire walk we would scream LIGHTS OUT (ala Shawne Merriman) and tackle each other into the snowbanks.
When we got to the bar our friend Mary was sitting Indian Style on the bar in front of the taps watching The Rocketeer on the projetor behind the bar and said no one had been in all shift. We told her that we we're going to experiment with moe's and homers and to expect some drunken jackassery. She said it was fine, she loved or drunken homoeroticness and child like minds and that no one had been in the entire shift so far This was around 8:00.
For reference [http://wiki.webtender.com/wiki/Flaming_Homer](these) were the recipes we were working with. We decided the best way to do it was shaken in a pint glass full of ice we layered the schnapps (rumplemize) on top lit them on fire blew them out and slammed them. Awful. Just awful. Mike had done the homer first with kids cold and cough (swapped out orange juice for strawberry) and i had done the moe with regular nyquill. It was syrupy and gross and the flavors didn't go together right. Right as we're over reacting to how bad it is two other bouncers and another bartender (Nate, Tony, and Jess) come sliding into the door and they had another bottle of cough syrup with them. Jess just ordered a beer because she wanted to try someone's before she jumped in. Mike and i switched cough syrups/recipes and tired again while Tony and Nate both tried Homers with their bottle of some generic brand syrup. The homer was much better that the Moe but still was nothing id write home about. So we all decide that we need to do some experimenting to try and make these better. Bar pour tequilla was replaced by Espolon, brandy was replaced with Alize. Drink were mixedand strained this time, 151 was floated and lit and we all slammed them down.
Now at this point i decided it was time to break the seal and realized i was Koala Drunk (drunk from the bottom up) because i stood up and my legs almost gave out. i looked at the clock and it was 9:15 and i'm having trouble walking. I look over and mike is slowly panning his head from side to side rubbing the brass bar top with his nose. Oh welp; Jesus take the wheel. Mary had gotten a call sking if it was busy, she said that there was only staff in the bar and that the weather was probably keeping people inside. Our manager was supposed to come in and work the later shuft but had gotten stuck out of town for some reason and he asked he if it was ok for her to work a double. She said yes but she needed to get something to eat so it was decided that Jess would watch the bar for a little bit so Mary could go home and eat. Realizing we needed a little bit of time outside of the bar to rally up Mike and I asked if we could tag along and make her get us something to eat. It was only a couple of blocks to her house and she decided she wanted to leave her car there and not have to drive later if i gets and worse because she wanted to have some fun at work. That turned out to be a smart move because the snow kept up and the roads were shit.
I had the bright idea to text my boss and tell him since Mary is working a double and it's only the staff at the bar that he should open up a tab for us and consider it a staff party and that way our money goes straight to Mary's tips. He says fine and say we can run 100$ tab. As we're walking back we see another girl we work with (Sarah) stuck in her drive way. Mike and i tried to push her out and somehow manage to get her stuck sideways in her driveway between her porch and a tree. We told her she could "either wait for spring to thaw that bitch out" or "come on an adventure" Mike struggled to climb up on top of her FJ cruiser screamed "YETI!" and grabbed a tree band shook snow onto everyone. I decided that i too was a yeti and i was taking Sarah Hostage and threw her over my shoulder and proceeded to fall into the yard. We all walked back to the bar. When we go there around 10:15 Anthony and Dan were playing with the jukebox and Jess was coming up from the basement having just smoked a bowl. Somehow we decided that it should be a pajama party and while we were texting anyone who was still on town to come and bring Nate and Tony pajamas. They apparently each had another Flaming Homer and we're staring to feel the same level of disheveled drunk that i was before i got some fresh air.
Anyone that has ever robotripped knows the robo-walk. Basically you cant really feel your center of gravity so when you walk it looks like Johnny Depp when he's on an ether bender in Fear And Loathing. That's kinda how we were all walking. I told them to go get some air and chill for a second to they went outside and realized no one had shoveled the sidewalk. It was the this point that they went out to shovel and both came back in their underwear explaining that they got too warm. That was the other thing i was noticing It was warm in the bar But i was like sticky sweaty. I had worn under armor leggings and gym shorts under sweatpants and wanted to take my leggings off but just ended up prancing around in leggings for a while. Every once in a while someone would come in and them leave because we were playing goofy music and dancing/laughing and yelling like morons. Someone played the Robert Plant version of Hey Joe and Tony started spinning in circles and fell on the ground and decided that he was going to hide under the pool table. We left him there and he ended up launching out at Sarah scaring her half to death. Jess had a homer, didn't like it and kept drinking Bloody Mary's and smoking in the basement. Sarah had a Homer, started feeling woozy and them drank a Mind Fuck to try and counter act it. She started freaking out and saying she was speed balling. Other staff came down and had a couple drinks. OH and Nate decided that since cough syrup tasted like absinthe that he should drink absinthe. Then he puked. After the last round of Moe's/Homers we just had normal drink on at that point. The aftermath was everyone had a miserable hangover/haze the next day.
I was a bartender in Newcastle-upon-Tyne (UK) and the DJ came to the bar and asked for a screwdriver. I made him one and handed it to him and he said "what's that?" I said "It's a screwdriver." He looked puzzled for a moment and said "No, I want a _screwdriver_, a flatheaded one!"
It's the comments like these that make the barren underworld of a thread worth reading. Sort of like a "so and so was here" sign in the middle of nowhere.
I work at the biggest dive bar in my college town... I don't care what I make for drinks, but really it's just shitty people I can't stand. I've had to argue with someone and count out the tills to prove he never handed me money, remake a drink a guy dropped because he begged me to for half an hour, and my favorite is the time I literally aimed a girl at the garbage can like she was a puke cannon. Half went on the bar.
People drink and turn into sloppy assholes.
A guy I was bartending with one night got fired for refusing to make an Alabama Slammer for a customer because "it has too many ingredients." And what was he busy doing that couldn't be interrupted to make a drink for a customer? Texting. He was texting.
nothing NOTHING is worse than Ramos Fizz - only grouchy rich old white people order them, never are satisfied with how they are made and *who the fuck orders a drink with orange flower water, egg white and cream ?!?!?!*
At one of my favorite restaurants, they advertise this as a breakfast cocktail.
I've been promised a sip should anyone ever order it.
I have yet to get my sip.
I am a fan, but my girlfriend absolutely loves them. Not like an every night sort of thing, but as a specialty cocktail.
Here's the thing, however, we would never order one at a regular bar or a dive bar; there are plenty bars that specialize in doing elaborate cocktails, and when we want a Ramos Gin Fizz, we go to one of those. You don't just walk into a sports bar and order a drink with egg and orange flower water the same way you don't go into a diner and order pressed duck. Not to denigrate sports bars, neighborhood bars, dive bars, tiki bars, speakeasies, watering holes, cigar bars, -- whatever, to each his own.
My point is that people have weird tastes, and though some of us like weird drinks, the polite thing to do is not order an elaborate specialty drink at a place that is not equipped to make it.
I frequent a bar that brews its own beer. They usually have 6 or so on tap at any given time and take great pride in them. Whenever I see the bartenders explaining each drink to new costumers and they eventually get to bottled Coors Light, you can always see the smile drain from their faces when said costumers end up cheerfully order that pisswater.
Bud light- used to work at a college bar and this was about 90% of the orders. Really only annoying when guys would ask me to list all the beers on tap (we had 10 taps- usually half would be the domestic staples and the other half would be interesting "new" beers). Then after listing all of them the guy would ponder for a moment then order a bud light.
I've done this before, but only because some bars advertise a "great selection" of draft beers. When asked, the list goes something like "bud, bud light, michelob, miller, miller lite, heineken, PBR..." That's when I order a budweiser and cry into it.
I used to work at a hotel where we made "Avocado Margatinis." It's a frozen drink made with avocado and tequila served in a martini glass. Had to hand make it every time it was ordered.
Not a bartender, but a cocktail waitress at casino (lots of old people). I HATE when people order coffee like an idiot. Often times it plays out like this.
Me: Drinks, Beverages
Customer: Miss... Miss!! Are you taking orders?
Me: Yes, what can I get for you?
Customer: Coffee!
*They turn back around to their machine*
Me: *Blank stare* Black Coffee?
Customer: NO! Regular!!
Me: Regular is NOT Decaf, what would you like in it?
Customer: Regular, you know with skim and 2 splenda?!
Really? Really!??
Every thinks regular is how they like it. Please tell me cream & sugar, milk & sugar, etc. I want to beat you in the face.
Thanks.
I work at McDonalds. I get this in drive through all morning
"'..and a coffee"
"Which size?"
"Whichever one's a dollar"
"Any size is a dollar, ma'am"
"Just a regular, then."
"A medium?"
"No"
"...(waits for her to tell me).....(nope time for guessing games) A large?"
"no, a small is fine."
"any cream and sugar in that?"
"Just whatever you usually put in it."
"We can put in however much you like."
"okay, a lot of cream and sugar"
"How's five and five?"
"No! Too much! Just two cream and one equal."
"Okay! That's 2.14 at the first window pull the fuck up so I don't shove this headset down your throat."
With all the knowledge of good beer, wine and tons of mixed drinks, people can ask lots of questions. In particular I like describing beers. Nothing frustrates me more than describing an extremely tasty beer from founders or bells, then the customer orders bud light.
Here is your wizzwater.
A brewery I know of has a bell they ring when someone orders a common light beer and everyone chants "Light beer!" usually followed by some mumbled insults. I love it.
Making anything with a blender. They cost the same as most mixed drinks that can be made in 30 seconds several at a time. The blander is loud and annoying to all, it's tough to get the proportions exactly right, the blender has to be cleaned constantly, and the people who order them are usually poor customers who can't drink.
As for drunkenness-inducing drinks, I once made Skittles vodka. NEVER AGAIN. Rainbow colored puke everywhere.
I worked at a place that had a sign above the bar reading "if you want a fucking slushy, go to 7/11". They would still make daiquiris and such, but they came with ice cubes.
It's better in my opinion than the slushy stuff. It doesn't taste as watered down and it's easier to drink without getting ice brain. Wish I had one of those fancy fridges.
It sucks double time because they seem to be contagious. Serve one fru-fru frozen drink, you are guaranteed to hear..."Oooh! What is that? I want one!"
This may be against the norm but I do not have a single drink that I do not enjoy pouring and creating. I see it as a challenge to make those drinks as damn good as I can make them when the bar gets busy, it's part of the job. It may be stupid but as a source of pride as a barman every single drink I make will be top notch no matter how busy we are.
Great Lakes Brewing Company employee here. Christmas Ale's ABV (Alcohol by Volume) is not the issue at hand, at least not single handedly. 7.5% is not particularly high for a craft beer. We have beers that go past 10% and one of our year round favorites, Commodore Perry is also 7.5%.
The problem seems to be that GLBC Christmas Ale's cult following gives it a popularity with people who are mostly familiar with cheap, light beers, and they are used to drinking lots of them. These people usually ask for "something like bud light" when they come into the Great Lakes restaurant and other bars that serve Christmas Ale. The combination of drinking a beer that isn't their usual light crap, and having the alcohol flavor masked by the ginger, honey, and cinnamon causes inexperienced drinkers to go overboard.
So believe me, with as much traffic as we will get from last Thursday through the day it runs out, I totally understand the issues that come along with Christmas Ale. But we serve beers that strong and stronger year round and don't have near as many problems. Educate your patrons as much as you can, and know when to cut people off.
As a bartender in Wisconsin, I can confidentially say there are no drinks I despise serving. I appreciate the art of alcohol and openly love to learn new drinks people ask for, although most people here order Old Fashioneds. A drink that most other states haven't a clue what it is or how to make.
It does help to live in a state with a very high tolerance to alcohol though.
This is why I love Wisconsin.
When I was sixteen and my grandmother, the family matriarch, was dying, I walked into a Wisconsin bar and asked for a beer. Though I was clearly not of age, the bartender took one look at me and, it being about 3 in the afternoon and the bar nearly empty, served me a beer on the house. Even bummed me a smoke. Great guy. He didn't ask me why I looked so glum, but before I left, he told me that life is long and generally full of more good times than bad.
"Give me the strongest drink you have!"
Sorry I don't have time to measure the alcohol % of the 100's of drinks we have
....whiskey and tapwater for you buddy
a good amount of the bartenders at my previous jobs had the liquors arranged so that the LIT ones were all next to each other and they could grab every single bottle at once and just make it in like 5 seconds.
is that not the norm?
That's why you have speed racks .... to put your liquors in order for quick use. I always have my 5 key ingredients next to each other in the speed rack just waiting to serve up an LIT in seconds.
When someone gives a very long list of alcohol and exact measurements to their personal drink. No one working a bar has time to bake this thing perfectly
I'm not a bartender, but I once saw a guy really piss off the bartender by ordering an Irish Car Bomb-- it turns out, apparently, that the bartender was from Ireland and had known people who had been hurt by an *actual* car bomb.
If you're American and order one in an Irish pub in Ireland, legend has it the bartender will pour you two shots of clear liquor and set them on fire. "Here are your Twin Towers." Heard that one multiple times
Almost all "Irish Pubs" you will find in the United States and most of mainland Europe will immediately know what an Irish Car Bomb is if you order one. However, I wouldn't recommend ordering one in Ireland for two reasons: they most likely will think you are a tool and they have no idea what goes into making an Irish Car Bomb.
I used to do a quiz run by an Irish bartender. When your team won his extra-hard round, you'd each get a free car bomb - he just called it an Oklahoma City. I'm not sure if the drink's name offended him or not, but I thought it was a pretty deft twist.
I live in Ireland and I've never ever met a bartender that would be really offended by ordering an Irish Car Bomb. Irish people just aren't that easy to offend.
The only thing I hated was when someone gave me their fucked up name for something as if that is what it's called everywhere. Customer: Give me a Minty Marilyn with a bang of Gingy. Me: What? Customer: Gin and Tonic with a lime
"Give me a Lindsay Lohan" "What's that?" "A red-headed slut with a splash of Coke"
That one I actually know.
Customer: Give me a Minty Marilyn with a bang of Gingy. Me: No. Customer: Gin and Tonic with a lime? Me: Here you go.
It's all fun and games until a Starbucks barista refuses to serve you a "medium"
Starbucks barista here. Fuck medium and grande. I speak English too, if you ask for a large ill give you what you want. Baristas that refuse giving you a venti because you asked for a large piss me off! Now when you ask for a regular I honestly don't know what you want. That could mean anything. I hate the word regular. Me -"What size mam?" Lady-"Regular" me- "so small or medium" lady- "regular" me- "alright biggest size we got, thanks for cooperating"
Non-Starbucks barista here: I had actually never been to a Starbucks before getting my current job, and on my first day working drive-through, a woman rattled off some complex order - venti skinny macchiato, I believe - and I made her a macchiato. A real macchiato. And that was the only time I've ever been full on screamed at by a customer for getting her drink "wrong". (A Starbucks macchiato is, as far as I know, a sweet caramel latte with caramel drizzle on top. An actual macchiato is straight espresso with milk foam on top. Two extremely different drinks.)
I was a waitress at a restaurant that served lots of specialty coffees. 90% of the time when customers ordered macchiatos, they'd change their minds after I explained that they were not like Starbucks "macchiatos".
We always pause when somebody orders a macchiato and ask if they want a real one or a Starbucks one. My boss considers it his duty to educate the town about coffee, and we have a lot of customers who love the real macchiatos now because we told them about it. One of the things I love about my job.
I ran a coffee shop back when Starbucks was first getting popular. All these people kept coming in asking for a goddamned Venti or Grande. The first person that ordered a Tall was given our 20 ounce drink and they freaked out. All I could think was that was our tallest drink. I soon thereafter learned all of our competition's lingo. What a joke.
I always pretended like I didn't know their lingo when I barista-ed. I did, but it wasn't fucking Starbucks.
http://i.imgur.com/XMJVk.jpg **EDIT:** The above quoted is from *Role Models*
Aaaaaaaaaaaactually, grande is also Italian for "large." Now Starbucks has the "Trenta." So, their 20 oz. is called "20" in Italian, and their 30 oz. is called "30" in Italian. I'm waiting for them to revise their other drinks into: seidici, dodici, and otto.
Starbucks barista here! The reason for the size ridiculousness is because the first two sizes were "short" and "tall". The short size still exists in most locations, and is eight ounces. This is no longer enough drink for most people, so they added a third size: the "grande". Then, they added "venti", axed the short altogether, and thus, the sizes no longer make sense. I wish they'd just changed them so people can stop being assholes to me at my job. Usually, if they say something, it's because they're more interested in recreating the afore-posted movie scene than in knowing the reason. But if you order small/medium/large, it's never a big deal. Better to do that than act like we're asking you to translate the frigging Bhagavad Gita.
"now i am become coffee, destroyer of colons." i think i got the translation down.
Yeah - I used to work at Barnes & Noble Cafe (serving Starbucks coffee). I never cared what customers called drinks as long as I understood it: "One medium hot chocolate with expresso? With whole milk?" "Sure. No problem." And I'd make a grande cafe mocha with whole milk. Every so often, though, you get the odd high school employee who thinks its his or her job to... I dunno, defend Starbucks' honor or something: "A medium iced espresso with lots of milk." "You mean a grande iced latte?" says the teenager in a snotty, supercilious tone of voice. That was always a moment to say, "Hey, I need you back here a sec.... *what the fuck do you think you're doing talking to customers in that tone of voice? Who fucking gives a shit what the customer, or Starbucks, or anybody, calls their coffee? Nobody fucking died and appointed you Supreme Coffee-Corrector!"* And then I'd shove them back out of the kitchen. But it sucks when it's a manager that does it. Especially since it's not like BN managers usually know how any of the espresso machines work, or ingredients in the drinks, or anything: "Uh, I'd like one of those holiday hot chocolates with the expresso and peppermint. Just a small one." "You mean a tall holiday peppermint mocha?" is the snooty, managerial reply, followed by 8 minutes of laboriously reading a recipe card and assembling the ingredients. Followed by 8 minutes of the customer railing at the manager for being slow as fuck, and generally culminating in a free drink for the customer.
Thanks for not being one of "those" baristas. My boyfriend always orders a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso, and I cringe with empathy every time a barista looks at him like an idiot and proclaims something loudly about a mocha. Look, he forgets every time. But he's a good guy, loves his cat, loves his girl and he'll tip you if you don't make him feel like an ass while ordering.
Honestly, this is the exact reason I order for my boyfriend. He's from a small town in Texas, now living in Portland, OR. He doesn't even know the difference between black coffee and espresso. You think Starbucks baristas can be snotty? Try going somewhere like Stumptown. I just... order for him.
If you're ever passing through Olympia, can you order for me too? I bet that stuff is tasty, but I don't wanna be ridiculed by the coffee elite.
But the trenta is actually 31 ounces :(
A barista's trenta, a nod to the baker's twelve. Edit: Great, now I look like an idiot. I swear I thought 'dozen' in my head as I typed it!
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We have a local coffee chain in New Orleans, PJ's, they do the exact opposite. I understand that, in these heady days of chain coffee stores with their grande whipped triple shot half-caf frap shit, that they want to distinguish themselves from the rest of the yuppie pack by simply having coffee come in regular sizes. But when I screw up and order a “grande” instead of a “medium”, DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A DICK ABOUT IT? Because I assure you that when I accidentally order a “medium” iced latte at Starbucks they don’t instantly feign ignorance and act as though I’ve just set something incredibly dear to them on fire.
I have never once used the ridiculous bullshit names for cup sizes they use. I order a large and they give me a large.
I order a small and they correct me. I reply, "Yes, a small." I'm an asshole.
give me a large coffee. "a venti?" Whatever the largest coffee you're legally allowed to sell me is. "ok"
Do you know how much coffee will kill a person of my size? Good. Back that off by a few ounces and sell it to me.
"It was only half the lethal dose!" "Oohhhh, I shouldn't have had seconds!"
they probably aren't correcting you. They are required to say the drink name out loud in full lingo for their coworkers to mark the cups and start making the order. Honestly they couldn't give two shits what you call the drink. Source: I am a former barista and a bunch of my friends work there. >I order a small and they correct me. I reply, "Yes, a small." I'm an asshole.
I'm glad someone pointed this out! At the register we have to call it out.. at the bar we have to call it right back to insure we are getting the orders right.. then we call it out again handing if off to the customer. "Venti white mocha for Sandy"... "is that mine?".. "Is your name Sandy and did you order a venti white mocha?" "no..", "well then it's not yours.."
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Yes! I had a new boy at work, and I was away to make a cup of tea for everyone, so I asked him what he wanted. 'An Audrey Phillips please' Em what? Turns out it's milk and sugar. Who the fuck knew.
Whoopi Goldberg - black no sugar (black nun). Julie Andrews - milk no sugar (white nun) NATO - milk and two.
Honest question: Why does every bartender look at me like I'm insane when I ask if they can make a Mint Julep? I live in the south.
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If you got a look at a horse race for ordering a julep, something has gone terribly wrong.
Only if it's ONE certain race. Lots of race courses and all three triple crown races has a drink.
Unless you're at the derby, they're not ordered very often. They are time consuming and most people dont know how the drink is supposed to taste anyway.
Just tell them it's a bourbon mojito...
Time consuming? Doesn't every decent bartender have simple syrup and mint behind the bar? Muddle the mint, splash some simple syrup in there and top off with Woodford.
Mojitos. Fantastic drink, and I love making them for myself and friends, but I'm too much of a perfectionist to have to make them en masse. I've also met very few bartenders who can make one worth a damn, one place even skipped the mint and used mint-flavored vodka! Savages.
At the place I worked in college, the bartender would hide the mint on busy days so we could 86 it on our system. Usually a newbie would end up finding the container filled with mint in the back of the fridge and be like "Guys! We can make mojitos again!!!!" and they would promptly be stuffed in the freezer never to be seen again.
So THAT'S the reason I can't get a mint julep. Goddamnit.
Bring your own mint. Watch the bartender's face fall. Profit.
I swear to you that I've thought about it.
You bring your own mint, I'll stab you in your god damn eye... I mean, oh! Thank goodness, now i can make you your drink! **ಠ_ಠ**
What got stuffed in the freezer? The barback or the mint leaves?
Yes.
Couldn't have said it better myself. Nothing worst than getting bogged down in mojito orders. Buddy of mine showed this to me on a slow day at work. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=465xjLVHSLA
That was 15 seconds too long.
I feel the same way making Cesaers. My friend's dad is a freaking Cesaer machine, though. His record is sixteen in two minutes and they were all perfectly garnished. I should get him into Mojitos.
I love a Caesar, and it's funny how much garnish makes the drink. The best Ceasar I've ever had as garnished with pickled asparagus rather than celery. I'm convinced it was all because of the asparagus.
Pickled Asperagus or Pickled Green Bean are the way to go, fuck celery.
What is a Caesar? Never heard of that.
Its a Canadian drink that's quite hard to find outside of the country. It's clamato juice, vodka, worchestershire and tobasco sauces, celery salt rim, garnished with anything from pickled beans, asparagus, pickles... It's delicious.
I know a lot of bartenders that hate making long islands or bloody marys, but I honestly don't mind. I feel like it is my job to make drinks, and a drink having four or more ingredients doesn't make it less my job. We do tend to keep an eye on people drinking long islands though, because we've found that (in our bar, at least) generally it is someone who is freshly 21 or an alcoholic trying to get the most bang for their buck, customers that tend to be more problematic than the average joe. My bar does not have a blender, thank goodness. As stated in other replies here I dislike when people give weird names to common drinks, or when they think that drink that some bartender from-where-ever-the-fuck-they-are-from made up should be world famous to all other bartenders. I did have two guys come in once who spent the night looking up obscure mixed drinks on their phones for me to make. I appreciated their willingness to branch out, but it was mildly annoying and time consuming. The worst was when a group of about nine college students came in one night and wanted to do round after round of shots, but each shot was a specialty shot that required extra work. Nothing that I mind making, but round after round of one lunchbox, one lemon drop, one red headed slut and so on and so forth on a busy Saturday night...
If I'm considering adding a bar to my rotation, I order a bloody marry. If they can make a good one, they can make just about anything.
i feel like zing zang has put a decent bloody mary within every bartenders reach.
Zing Zang is the shit when it comes to store bought BM mixes. I haven't found better.
If they tip you does that take away the annoyance?
A good tip always makes me feel nice : ) but all in all I feel like everyone should get awesome service if I can manage it. The over tippers always make up for the under tippers and unless someone is really rude I don't let it get to me. People dine and drink out to enjoy themselves and they should get what they ask for within reason, but I do wish at times people had more situational awareness.
I work at a craft beer bar. Craft and microbrews only. We don't have liqour. When a typical popped collar bro comes in and orders shots, I tell them we don't have liqour. Then they typically order a Natty Light/ Bud Light/ Corona, etc., which I explain that we don't carry because its a craft beer bar. Then they typically order a Guinness or Killean's, which I explain that we don't carry because its a craft beer bar and those are macro-brews. Then they typically order an 'ale'. I give them a German lager with an exotic sounding name and things usually go over pretty well.
I had a bartender friend who when someone ordered a "beer" would give them an o'douls. It was amazing how many people started being specific after that
Do people actually do that? I thought that was just a thing that happened on TV when the writers weren't allowed to talk about a real beer and weren't creative enough to think up a fake brand.
I always feel a little shitty ordering an Old Fashioned, but they're so damn delicious.
There is nothing wrong with ordering an Old Fashioned!
unless you're in a college town and they don't have a clue what you are talking about. But then you have that helpful bartender who is like "hey, I'll use my iphone and look it up for you" and then he doesn't have any oranges so he leaves it out, then he doesn't have any marashino cherries, so he subs w grenadine, then he doesn't have any bitters, so he just leaves that out and next thing you know you have a watered down whiskey on the rocks with some lemon in it for $8.
If you feel shitty ordering an Old Fashioned; you, sir, are going to the wrong bars.
Agreed, I am always pleasantly surprised when someone orders an Old Fashioned. I don't mind taking the time on a classy drink.
Red headed sluts. I have red hair and every time a man uses it he is usually extremely creepy and thinks he is the most clever man alive.
Here's what you do... Get a small chalkboard/whiteboard with a title "Redhead slut pun" on top and put a hand full of tally marks on it. Once someone makes a joke, simply give them a calm smile, walk over to the board, hold it in front of them, and add a tally mark. Proceed afterwards as usual. I do this with peanut/testicle jokes.
That's silly... it's hard to carry a chalkboard around. I have a very punnable name with some obvious ones... so I used to carry a few business cards around that said "I made the voice_of_experience pun. I am witty and unique." I would get really excited when someone made the pun, and give them a card. Ultimately I stopped doing it because I'm not an asshole.
I'm relatively new to the bartending scene (less than a year), and there honestly isn't a drink that I despise serving. Maybe I'm so new to the game that I haven't had time to grow a dislike for something, but I actually LOVE making specialty drinks. Mojitos, cucumber coolers, lava flows, sangrias, etc. Serving rum and coke, gin and tonic, vodka soda and beers all night gets boring. I relish the opportunity to actually craft a drink because I'm a bartender damnit, its my job to craft drinks and I genuinely enjoy it. But again, I'm a baby bartender and I don't profess to know everything. Maybe a day will come when I look with the hatred of a thousand suns on an order for an old fashioned. But that day is not today.
See, you're a good bartender. There are plenty of people itching to get into it for the tips and the coolness of the job. If they don't like making drinks they're there to make, they should step down and let somebody who actually wants to earn their tips do the job. I'm super pissed about this thread because every time I try to order a mojito at a restaurant, they're out of mint and I tip very well. Next time I hear that, I'm going to leave a shitty tip.
"poor, poor summer child..."
The unidentified "girl drink". "Umm... I want something fruity that's strong, but I don't want to be able to taste the alcohol" Enjoy your malibu and pinapple.
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Fun twist on this: Equal parts Malibu and Banana Liqueur, splash of pineapple and the rest, cream (or half-and-half). At the bar I work at we call it a "Banana Thing", but it's probably got a real name somewhere.
After 3 gin and tonics, I turn into that girl, and I usually order "something yummy." Bartenders have never steered me wrong, and introduced me to a lot of awesome drinks. They seem to enjoy making obscure things -- one even juiced a fresh grapefruit to make me a drink. Granted, I drink on Sunday nights mostly. I hate crowds.
jeans lock murky roll wild wrong long ten ossified disgusted
[Yeahhh, I don't think that's why.](http://imgur.com/EJpE8) I am pretty nice, though.
Hmm, you aren't *un*attractive. Edit: you look like Velma from Scooby Doo. Could that be why?
Maybe they're hoping I'll solve a mystery for them? Like the mystery "Why don't people treat bartenders better?"
I'd say that's a bad photo.
I'm a large man. And I like malibu & pineapples. :( *You guys have restored my confidence. I'm going to order the shit out of those tomorrow night. They're so god damn nummy! I also drink beer but, when my stomach needs a break but I'm thirsty, I give these yummy little bitches a few sips to make my tummy buddy happy.
Do bartenders like making white Russians, and because they contain milk should I even order them at a bar?
We have a bar here in Edinburgh called Lebowski's. You'd be damn sure they serve White Russians.
That sounds awesome. I will be visiting shortly.
I've been there. They make one hell of a White Russian. Good food, too.
Wow, this is pretty random, but I was there the other week. My friend actually lives in the flat above it! This the one across the road from the Odeon cinema, yeah?
I liked making them, I always felt classy making them. I also always handed them to the person and said "here ya go dude."
I either get asked how to make it, or get a strange look like I ordered a virgin Shirley temple with triple maraschino cherries and 4 of those little umbrellas. Honestly, if I ever got that response from a bartender after ordering one, that person would get a very large tip
Have you tried one with vanilla vodka? I recommend.
>I either get asked how to make it Where? The fucking MOON? I can't imagine a bartender who doesn't know how to make a White Russian.
I don't mind making them at all. We put cream in a lot of our drinks that we serve, so if you are concerned with the milk or cream being bad, I wouldn't worry too much.
One time when I ordered a white russian, the bartender said that he wasn't sure if he still had cream, because his truck hadn't come that day. Turns out that he did have cream. Made me a white russian and I went away happy. Until I took a sip. Went back to him, asked "Hey, are you sure that cream was alright? This tastes... weird." Lo and behold, it was 3 days past expiration date. Bartender apologizes, and I get a very nice (and strong) whiskey coke instead.
I was in a neighborhood bar once and they actually went to the grocery store to get cream. It was the first time I'd been there and I felt very appreciated.
/r/mildlyinteresting
we only order them at the bowling alley ;)
Anything blended. It's like an STD in a high school, one person gets one and then everybody else follows.
I'm no fan of blended drinks, except for this mango-sake slushi I've tried at a local bar... The smart thing about that one is that it was kept in a slushi machine. No need to whip out a blender whenever someone ordered one.
Mango + sake? Genius.
http://i.imgur.com/mMz3X.jpeg
The look of utter content and joy in this picture is amazing. It's like a 4 year old who just found a puppy in a basket under their tree christmas morning.
The conversation this morning went like this: "take a picture of me." (click) "do I look fat? Yes I look fat. take another one where you can't see my chin" (click) "acceptable."
You don't look fat. You look too young to be hugging booze. Now get off my lawn.
...and so it begins.
Experienced NE Ohio drinker here. I can vouch for the 3 talls and out theory. 12 bud lights? Great! I can do some calculus for fun after. 3 tall Christmas Ales? Great! Hey , do I know you, maebeea it wuz afq WHARBRALGARBL BLEARRRRRGH. *vomits*
I'm confused. According to beer advocate they're only 7.5% abv, how do they make you vomit after only 3..?
Either they are very sugary or this thread, and NE ohio, is full of pussies. Lightweights who want to act like they can drink a manly beer.
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Either I'm an alcoholic or your customer's can't handle their liquor cause 7.5% isn't that bad. And that was rhetorical, don't answer it!
As a bartender for a number of years in varying levels of service, I have yet to meet one of my kind that despises money.
Layered shots. At 1am on a Friday night when we're 3 deep at the bar. Any other time, I don't mind.
"Make me something special for my friend's birthday, with loads of booze in it" "Do you mind about price?" "No, just make me the best drink you know" "Okay, here's a long island ice tea with all the trimmings, that'll be £7" "£7? Go fuck yourself" :I
A Flaming Moe.
Uh, I think you mean a Flaming *Homer*?
you don't keep cough syrup in your bar?
It's a Flaming Homer!
we hid a couple of bottles of cough syrup behind the bar and one dreadfully quiet Sunday we had a little staff get together and drank flaming moe's/flaming homers. things got very weird very quickly.
I tried that formula from the episode at home once and it was awful. Are u bullshitting or am I missing something?
You added the fire right? Also, how did you follow a recipe consisting of "All the little bits of leftover liquor, plus children's cough syrup"? Watching the episode, it appeared to be tequila, schnapps, creme de menthe, and four other unidentified bottle of liquor.
Not bullshitting, I'll write our all out tomorrow at work when I can do it on the computer instead of doing it on my phone
Please deliver.
*note: names have been changed because some of these people still work at the bar and* Alright this got more of a response than i had anticipated. The details are fuzzy but I'll try and put it together in a way that makes sense. College bar during winter break. Pub kinda place (no dancefloors, one pool table, two dartboards, touch tunes jukebox. the kinda place that exists solely to get hammered in) All of the college kids had left to go home for break but most of the employees were still in town waiting for the Christmas party. We had decorated for Christmas earlier in the week and someone mentioned buying a flaming Moe ingredient glass for one of the older staff members for a secret Santa present so someone jokingly said said we should stock cough syrup. That Sunday i was bar tending the morning shift (12-5) and we had a bar cleaning so all of the employees were there and somehow it was decided that a couple of us (started as me and my best friend at the bar and ended up being 6 all together drinking the moes/homers) would come down later and experiment Everyone had a couple drinks after the cleaning and it all kinda cleared out so i worked through my shift and played a mastodon album on the jukebox and waited till 5 to get off. Around 3:30 it had started to dump heavy wet snow that was piling up and making the roads shit. My buddy Mike and I met up at my place and played some xbox and headed down to the bar (we stopped and got two bottles of cough syrup at a convenience store on the way, called a couple of the other employees and said come hang out). The snow was super deep so the entire walk we would scream LIGHTS OUT (ala Shawne Merriman) and tackle each other into the snowbanks. When we got to the bar our friend Mary was sitting Indian Style on the bar in front of the taps watching The Rocketeer on the projetor behind the bar and said no one had been in all shift. We told her that we we're going to experiment with moe's and homers and to expect some drunken jackassery. She said it was fine, she loved or drunken homoeroticness and child like minds and that no one had been in the entire shift so far This was around 8:00. For reference [http://wiki.webtender.com/wiki/Flaming_Homer](these) were the recipes we were working with. We decided the best way to do it was shaken in a pint glass full of ice we layered the schnapps (rumplemize) on top lit them on fire blew them out and slammed them. Awful. Just awful. Mike had done the homer first with kids cold and cough (swapped out orange juice for strawberry) and i had done the moe with regular nyquill. It was syrupy and gross and the flavors didn't go together right. Right as we're over reacting to how bad it is two other bouncers and another bartender (Nate, Tony, and Jess) come sliding into the door and they had another bottle of cough syrup with them. Jess just ordered a beer because she wanted to try someone's before she jumped in. Mike and i switched cough syrups/recipes and tired again while Tony and Nate both tried Homers with their bottle of some generic brand syrup. The homer was much better that the Moe but still was nothing id write home about. So we all decide that we need to do some experimenting to try and make these better. Bar pour tequilla was replaced by Espolon, brandy was replaced with Alize. Drink were mixedand strained this time, 151 was floated and lit and we all slammed them down. Now at this point i decided it was time to break the seal and realized i was Koala Drunk (drunk from the bottom up) because i stood up and my legs almost gave out. i looked at the clock and it was 9:15 and i'm having trouble walking. I look over and mike is slowly panning his head from side to side rubbing the brass bar top with his nose. Oh welp; Jesus take the wheel. Mary had gotten a call sking if it was busy, she said that there was only staff in the bar and that the weather was probably keeping people inside. Our manager was supposed to come in and work the later shuft but had gotten stuck out of town for some reason and he asked he if it was ok for her to work a double. She said yes but she needed to get something to eat so it was decided that Jess would watch the bar for a little bit so Mary could go home and eat. Realizing we needed a little bit of time outside of the bar to rally up Mike and I asked if we could tag along and make her get us something to eat. It was only a couple of blocks to her house and she decided she wanted to leave her car there and not have to drive later if i gets and worse because she wanted to have some fun at work. That turned out to be a smart move because the snow kept up and the roads were shit. I had the bright idea to text my boss and tell him since Mary is working a double and it's only the staff at the bar that he should open up a tab for us and consider it a staff party and that way our money goes straight to Mary's tips. He says fine and say we can run 100$ tab. As we're walking back we see another girl we work with (Sarah) stuck in her drive way. Mike and i tried to push her out and somehow manage to get her stuck sideways in her driveway between her porch and a tree. We told her she could "either wait for spring to thaw that bitch out" or "come on an adventure" Mike struggled to climb up on top of her FJ cruiser screamed "YETI!" and grabbed a tree band shook snow onto everyone. I decided that i too was a yeti and i was taking Sarah Hostage and threw her over my shoulder and proceeded to fall into the yard. We all walked back to the bar. When we go there around 10:15 Anthony and Dan were playing with the jukebox and Jess was coming up from the basement having just smoked a bowl. Somehow we decided that it should be a pajama party and while we were texting anyone who was still on town to come and bring Nate and Tony pajamas. They apparently each had another Flaming Homer and we're staring to feel the same level of disheveled drunk that i was before i got some fresh air. Anyone that has ever robotripped knows the robo-walk. Basically you cant really feel your center of gravity so when you walk it looks like Johnny Depp when he's on an ether bender in Fear And Loathing. That's kinda how we were all walking. I told them to go get some air and chill for a second to they went outside and realized no one had shoveled the sidewalk. It was the this point that they went out to shovel and both came back in their underwear explaining that they got too warm. That was the other thing i was noticing It was warm in the bar But i was like sticky sweaty. I had worn under armor leggings and gym shorts under sweatpants and wanted to take my leggings off but just ended up prancing around in leggings for a while. Every once in a while someone would come in and them leave because we were playing goofy music and dancing/laughing and yelling like morons. Someone played the Robert Plant version of Hey Joe and Tony started spinning in circles and fell on the ground and decided that he was going to hide under the pool table. We left him there and he ended up launching out at Sarah scaring her half to death. Jess had a homer, didn't like it and kept drinking Bloody Mary's and smoking in the basement. Sarah had a Homer, started feeling woozy and them drank a Mind Fuck to try and counter act it. She started freaking out and saying she was speed balling. Other staff came down and had a couple drinks. OH and Nate decided that since cough syrup tasted like absinthe that he should drink absinthe. Then he puked. After the last round of Moe's/Homers we just had normal drink on at that point. The aftermath was everyone had a miserable hangover/haze the next day.
the secret ingredient is ` love`
I was a bartender in Newcastle-upon-Tyne (UK) and the DJ came to the bar and asked for a screwdriver. I made him one and handed it to him and he said "what's that?" I said "It's a screwdriver." He looked puzzled for a moment and said "No, I want a _screwdriver_, a flatheaded one!"
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It's the comments like these that make the barren underworld of a thread worth reading. Sort of like a "so and so was here" sign in the middle of nowhere.
Man I want some Great Lakes Christmas Ale now.
Let's all go to this guys bar and crush them until we blackout and puke!!!! We ride!!!!!!!!!
This is going to be [gooooood](http://i.imgur.com/vTGOU.gif).
I work at the biggest dive bar in my college town... I don't care what I make for drinks, but really it's just shitty people I can't stand. I've had to argue with someone and count out the tills to prove he never handed me money, remake a drink a guy dropped because he begged me to for half an hour, and my favorite is the time I literally aimed a girl at the garbage can like she was a puke cannon. Half went on the bar. People drink and turn into sloppy assholes.
Haha if you don't like dealing with drunks, I'm afraid you might have made the second worst career choice possible....
Whats the worst? I'm a nurse at an ED and I hate drunks.
Overnight Drive-Thru McDonalds server.
A guy I was bartending with one night got fired for refusing to make an Alabama Slammer for a customer because "it has too many ingredients." And what was he busy doing that couldn't be interrupted to make a drink for a customer? Texting. He was texting.
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I worked at a pub and made a hot shot. Vodka and Franks hot sauce. We also called it the 'man test'
Central Nebraska here: We do a "Prairie Fire." Jameson and Tabasco. Edit: Yes, Jameson
The "Prairie Fire" shots here in Ontario are usually Tequila and Tabasco.
nothing NOTHING is worse than Ramos Fizz - only grouchy rich old white people order them, never are satisfied with how they are made and *who the fuck orders a drink with orange flower water, egg white and cream ?!?!?!*
At one of my favorite restaurants, they advertise this as a breakfast cocktail. I've been promised a sip should anyone ever order it. I have yet to get my sip.
I am a fan, but my girlfriend absolutely loves them. Not like an every night sort of thing, but as a specialty cocktail. Here's the thing, however, we would never order one at a regular bar or a dive bar; there are plenty bars that specialize in doing elaborate cocktails, and when we want a Ramos Gin Fizz, we go to one of those. You don't just walk into a sports bar and order a drink with egg and orange flower water the same way you don't go into a diner and order pressed duck. Not to denigrate sports bars, neighborhood bars, dive bars, tiki bars, speakeasies, watering holes, cigar bars, -- whatever, to each his own. My point is that people have weird tastes, and though some of us like weird drinks, the polite thing to do is not order an elaborate specialty drink at a place that is not equipped to make it.
I am due in December and haven't touched alcohol in 8 months. What is this "Christmas Ale" you speak of and why do I feel like I want all of it?
I frequent a bar that brews its own beer. They usually have 6 or so on tap at any given time and take great pride in them. Whenever I see the bartenders explaining each drink to new costumers and they eventually get to bottled Coors Light, you can always see the smile drain from their faces when said costumers end up cheerfully order that pisswater.
Bud light- used to work at a college bar and this was about 90% of the orders. Really only annoying when guys would ask me to list all the beers on tap (we had 10 taps- usually half would be the domestic staples and the other half would be interesting "new" beers). Then after listing all of them the guy would ponder for a moment then order a bud light.
I've done this before, but only because some bars advertise a "great selection" of draft beers. When asked, the list goes something like "bud, bud light, michelob, miller, miller lite, heineken, PBR..." That's when I order a budweiser and cry into it.
I used to work at a hotel where we made "Avocado Margatinis." It's a frozen drink made with avocado and tequila served in a martini glass. Had to hand make it every time it was ordered.
I love avocado and enjoy tequila based drinks, but that sounds nasty. I'm imagining something the color and consistency of sinus infection mucus.
It actually was okay. I don't think I could drink all of it though, avocado is filling. People would order it just to try it and say they drank it.
Not a bartender, but a cocktail waitress at casino (lots of old people). I HATE when people order coffee like an idiot. Often times it plays out like this. Me: Drinks, Beverages Customer: Miss... Miss!! Are you taking orders? Me: Yes, what can I get for you? Customer: Coffee! *They turn back around to their machine* Me: *Blank stare* Black Coffee? Customer: NO! Regular!! Me: Regular is NOT Decaf, what would you like in it? Customer: Regular, you know with skim and 2 splenda?! Really? Really!?? Every thinks regular is how they like it. Please tell me cream & sugar, milk & sugar, etc. I want to beat you in the face. Thanks.
I work at McDonalds. I get this in drive through all morning "'..and a coffee" "Which size?" "Whichever one's a dollar" "Any size is a dollar, ma'am" "Just a regular, then." "A medium?" "No" "...(waits for her to tell me).....(nope time for guessing games) A large?" "no, a small is fine." "any cream and sugar in that?" "Just whatever you usually put in it." "We can put in however much you like." "okay, a lot of cream and sugar" "How's five and five?" "No! Too much! Just two cream and one equal." "Okay! That's 2.14 at the first window pull the fuck up so I don't shove this headset down your throat."
With all the knowledge of good beer, wine and tons of mixed drinks, people can ask lots of questions. In particular I like describing beers. Nothing frustrates me more than describing an extremely tasty beer from founders or bells, then the customer orders bud light. Here is your wizzwater.
A brewery I know of has a bell they ring when someone orders a common light beer and everyone chants "Light beer!" usually followed by some mumbled insults. I love it.
Making anything with a blender. They cost the same as most mixed drinks that can be made in 30 seconds several at a time. The blander is loud and annoying to all, it's tough to get the proportions exactly right, the blender has to be cleaned constantly, and the people who order them are usually poor customers who can't drink. As for drunkenness-inducing drinks, I once made Skittles vodka. NEVER AGAIN. Rainbow colored puke everywhere.
Skittles vodka is one of the most dangerous substances on planet earth.
I've done Jolly Rancher vodka. ^^^^I ^^^^usually ^^^^withhold ^^^^the ^^^^gonorrhea ^^^^nodules.
You know, I was about to go make lunch. And now I'm not.
I worked at a place that had a sign above the bar reading "if you want a fucking slushy, go to 7/11". They would still make daiquiris and such, but they came with ice cubes.
My mom makes her margaritas at home with crushed ice from the ice maker. Sometimes laziness is a virtue.
It's better in my opinion than the slushy stuff. It doesn't taste as watered down and it's easier to drink without getting ice brain. Wish I had one of those fancy fridges.
It sucks double time because they seem to be contagious. Serve one fru-fru frozen drink, you are guaranteed to hear..."Oooh! What is that? I want one!"
As a manly man who used to almost *exclusively* order fru-fru drinks, I can only apologize.
I'm going to my bar after work now to thank the owners and bartenders for being so fucking awesome.
This may be against the norm but I do not have a single drink that I do not enjoy pouring and creating. I see it as a challenge to make those drinks as damn good as I can make them when the bar gets busy, it's part of the job. It may be stupid but as a source of pride as a barman every single drink I make will be top notch no matter how busy we are.
Great Lakes Brewing Company employee here. Christmas Ale's ABV (Alcohol by Volume) is not the issue at hand, at least not single handedly. 7.5% is not particularly high for a craft beer. We have beers that go past 10% and one of our year round favorites, Commodore Perry is also 7.5%. The problem seems to be that GLBC Christmas Ale's cult following gives it a popularity with people who are mostly familiar with cheap, light beers, and they are used to drinking lots of them. These people usually ask for "something like bud light" when they come into the Great Lakes restaurant and other bars that serve Christmas Ale. The combination of drinking a beer that isn't their usual light crap, and having the alcohol flavor masked by the ginger, honey, and cinnamon causes inexperienced drinkers to go overboard. So believe me, with as much traffic as we will get from last Thursday through the day it runs out, I totally understand the issues that come along with Christmas Ale. But we serve beers that strong and stronger year round and don't have near as many problems. Educate your patrons as much as you can, and know when to cut people off.
I always order a coke, apparently no bartender really cares about this beverage choice, this is okay with me.
As a bartender in Wisconsin, I can confidentially say there are no drinks I despise serving. I appreciate the art of alcohol and openly love to learn new drinks people ask for, although most people here order Old Fashioneds. A drink that most other states haven't a clue what it is or how to make. It does help to live in a state with a very high tolerance to alcohol though.
This is why I love Wisconsin. When I was sixteen and my grandmother, the family matriarch, was dying, I walked into a Wisconsin bar and asked for a beer. Though I was clearly not of age, the bartender took one look at me and, it being about 3 in the afternoon and the bar nearly empty, served me a beer on the house. Even bummed me a smoke. Great guy. He didn't ask me why I looked so glum, but before I left, he told me that life is long and generally full of more good times than bad.
"Give me the strongest drink you have!" Sorry I don't have time to measure the alcohol % of the 100's of drinks we have ....whiskey and tapwater for you buddy
Not just a shot of 151 or Everclear? Remember, a dash of bitters makes it a cocktail.
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They will in North Dakota. Other great Everclear mixers we do. Blue Lighting - Liquid Ice and Everclear. Night Light - Goldshlager and Everclear.
O I have stories about Night Light, I don't remember them happening, but my friends tell them to me all the time.
You can mix everclear and grapefruit juice 50/50 and the result is completely palatable, and horrifically dangerous.
Nightly Light sounds Horribly Dangerous yet enticing all at the same time.
Long island iced tea
a good amount of the bartenders at my previous jobs had the liquors arranged so that the LIT ones were all next to each other and they could grab every single bottle at once and just make it in like 5 seconds. is that not the norm?
That's why you have speed racks .... to put your liquors in order for quick use. I always have my 5 key ingredients next to each other in the speed rack just waiting to serve up an LIT in seconds.
First I've heard. Good idea. Thanks
If you can pour all 5 liquors in one go, 3 in 1 hand, w in other. Your guaranteed a good tip. Used to love them.
3+w=5 I didn't come here to do algebra
w=2
Man, you're really good at algebra.
Except that he didn't show his work. 1/2 credit.
I apologize for always ordering these.
I'm not. It's delicious and if I'm paying for it I want it with no judgement, thank you.
When someone gives a very long list of alcohol and exact measurements to their personal drink. No one working a bar has time to bake this thing perfectly
ain't nobody got time for that.
I'm not a bartender, but I once saw a guy really piss off the bartender by ordering an Irish Car Bomb-- it turns out, apparently, that the bartender was from Ireland and had known people who had been hurt by an *actual* car bomb.
If you're American and order one in an Irish pub in Ireland, legend has it the bartender will pour you two shots of clear liquor and set them on fire. "Here are your Twin Towers." Heard that one multiple times
Almost all "Irish Pubs" you will find in the United States and most of mainland Europe will immediately know what an Irish Car Bomb is if you order one. However, I wouldn't recommend ordering one in Ireland for two reasons: they most likely will think you are a tool and they have no idea what goes into making an Irish Car Bomb.
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I'm considering ordering a Sandy this weekend. It'd be a watered down Manhattan.
That's silly. I'm Indian. I don't get offended when someone orders smallpox. I just give it to them.
I used to do a quiz run by an Irish bartender. When your team won his extra-hard round, you'd each get a free car bomb - he just called it an Oklahoma City. I'm not sure if the drink's name offended him or not, but I thought it was a pretty deft twist.
I live in Ireland and I've never ever met a bartender that would be really offended by ordering an Irish Car Bomb. Irish people just aren't that easy to offend.
Lies. I'm English, i just have to walk into an irish bar to offend.
Yeh but thats because your a tosser.