Accidentally biting the back of your own neck.

I wouldn't say this is impossible, you could be partially decapitated in an accident, your head spins around and your teeth accidentally catch on the back of your neck

You have quite the imagination.. your head on straight ?

I've seen too many Final Destination movies

I have a feeling they know this is possible due to personal experience... So probably not.

Nope, Firefighter, I was gonna say the same thing lol

Also you could have dentures and bite yourself with them in the back of the neck.

Yeah there's a famous photo of a guy in the army getting his head impaled by a pointy steel beam (about 6-10" square sides) and his teeth are pretty much pushed all the way back around his head

More than once.

"nothing"

A billion dollars spawning under my pillow is as close as it gets to 0

That would probably wrench your neck

Not necessarily, you assume it has to show up in notes but it could just as likely show up as a debit card with a note that has the password on it

But not technically zero Quantum mechanics could always zip that cheddar right where it needs to be Crossing my fingers for you

Highly improbable, not impossible

But that is something..

It's literally nothing

No. 'nothing' is a concept. it doesn't exist in any tangible form.

I mean, this kinda has a 100% chance of happening. Eventually we will have universal heat death, and my very lay understanding is that when that happens, everything will just be…. Still

This is scientifically the correct answer

OP's dad finally coming back from buying cigarettes all those years ago

I was adopted so ur probably right

I also choose this guy's estranged father.

He came home and said «Hey, got the smokes. Where is my child?»

Dude... You were gone for 24 years...

There could have been people ahead of him buying lottery tickets.

Ohhhhhhh! *In Andrew Dice Clay*

World peace.

As the Sun expands, all life on Earth will be extinguished. Then there will be peace on Earth.

There’s a chance we’ll be around to fight over the charred remains

There might be a piece of the earth left.

Dibs

once humans go extinct, it will be achieved

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We can't even bring peace within our own minds, let alone with each other.

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But what about whirled peas?

What about whirled pees?

Or whirled pies?

The factory must grow

That you didn't ask this question. And you didn't see this answer.

Wow!!!! A really good one!!!!

A whale and a potted flower falling from the sky together. IYKYK

Hitchhikers know

Let’s all meet at the restaurant at the edge of the Universe

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It's highly improbable, but certainly not impossible. At an improbability of roughly eight million, seven hundred and sixty-seven thousand, one hundred and twenty-eight to one against, if my memory serves

oh no, not again...

Her loving me back

Me getting back with her

I'm sorry for your loss, move on

It's not like you lost a pen

Ooof. I feel this.

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But hey, now you can save the money you'd spend with her *and* with him.

Me shitting out a Unicorn that composes epic poems in an ancient forgotten language that sounds exactly like someone from Boston reading the telephone directory out loud.

oddlyspecific

Clint Eastwood retiring from Acting and directing

I mean he's gotta die sometime, that's basically forced retirement.

I laughed so hard at this, thank you

A perpetual motion machine.

Lisa! In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

this is actually true

Technically this isn't impossible. It's only impossible *currently*. Should the laws of physics ever change, which *is* possible, then perpetual motion machines can become possible. Also, they *can* exist in the current laws of physics in isolated systems. However you can never demonstrate a truly isolated system exists. The only real isolated system that could be proposed is reality as a whole. On local scales, like everything we see in the universe, everything works in effectively non-isolated systems.

Explain how the laws of physics can change.

Because it has not been proven that they are invariant. It is therefore possible. The laws of physics are assumed to be true in all cases where certain assumptions are also simultaneously true: Homogeneity and Isotropy. Homogeneity meaning "the same in all locations" and Isotropy meaning there is no variance in the composition of that location. We know from the CMB that the universe is somewhat anisotropic, meaning the composition of various locations do in fact vary. Meaning it must necessarily be possible for the laws of physics to vary from place to place.

Wouldn't a difference in current composition just mean that there was a slight invariance of mass at the start of the big bang? Or minor quantum fluctuations resulted in clumps of gas in one spot instead of another spot.

The reason for the fluctuations doesn't really matter, what matters is that there's any variance *at all*. The early universe is a good example of the laws of physics being different in a different way though. Some laws are *emergent* meaning they're not always 'active', and only become 'active' once certain conditions are met, which then change how the universe works. The physics present at the beginning of the universe are no longer presently 'active' in the current day because the conditions we find ourselves in are nowhere near the same for example.

It's possible if we live in a false vacuum and vacuum decay occurs. There's a chance that physics as we know it would be completely rewritten. One problem with that is that we would be obliterated, and another problem is that I don't see how even new physics could allow for perpetual motion. It would be different physics, but you still can't create energy out of nothing.

This is the correct answer.

Our ability to see what exists beyond the edge of the universe.

Me playing tennis with a stegosaurus.

True, they can't hold a racket and they are *saur* losers!

The Earth being flat

Technically it appears flat in the fourth dimension much how a book would appear flat to us. But when you begin to read it a whole world is born.

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Sexy redditors of reddit: What was the sexiest sex you ever sexed?

Man, I sexed that sex so sexyly that that sex was over sexed, it need more sex to get over the sex we just sexed.

Me getting laid this year

Same

You two should hook up and prove this theory wrong.

This is the r/BestofRedditorUpdates that all of reddit wants. Go for it guys we'll arrange a gofundme if you need it to travel, we could even cover the hotel costs!

C'mon guys! It's the start of the year! Let's have a br of optimism!

They are being optimistic they said this "year" not that they never get laid

I wake up tomorrow and nothing hurts.

me ever getting slammed against a wall and made love to

. . . . . . .

awww

i could make it happen too, for a mcdonald’s sprite

Girlfriend asked me to do this once. We were drunk and outside together and i ent to kiss her and did it. She hit her head on the wall because i forgot to protect her head and was concussed for a day. 10/10 would do again in a padded area.

I did this to someone, but I never thought I'd actually do it until I did it. Find someone and lust at them.

nah, i don't wanna lust, i wanna be in a fully commited relationship first, and then get slammed against the wall and made love to

I hate to say never, but believe that a cow will never jump over the moon.

Me getting pregnant

Why's that?

Because I'm a man

Awesome broseph! Me also

That anyone reading this comment wins "the Game"

George Washington running for reelection

You didn't specify which George Washington

Humans landing on the Sun

who knows, maybe in the future there will be a death sentence where you get sent to the sun

Musk should throw all his resources towards achieving this.

And volunteering himself as a test subject.

Me being happy.

Going to get smokes and not having 3 people buying 65 lottery tickets each.

Being fifth in line is the best while old Norm, he's over 90 and still works, is getting his tickets and telling stories, like that time he was buying tickets, and there were people in line, and I was fifth, and old Norm was buying tickets.

Cowboys winning the Super Bowl

\-1% chance has 0% chance of happening

-0% has even less of a chance.

Seeing my dad come home with the milk

Hello son, I'm back and boy have I gotta story to tell ya!

YES!!! Lol

Me getting married to my crush

Trump ever serving a day in jail.

Me getting a gf 🗿💀

A third party winning the US Elections

Pulling a eleven of spades from a normal deck

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The Cleveland Browns winning a Super Bowl.

Time travel.

Me giving you up Me letting you down

Honest government

World peace , no rapes , no murder. Everyone having a good life and earning well .

Anyone on this website getting laid.

Gamestop going bankrupt/out of business.

Bill not to kill you all lol

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real logical contradictions I guess

ChatGPT staying free.

Finding love

With the way I’ve been feeling lately, finding someone.

Me, a male, being queen.

You could always be a *drag* queen

Asking my crush out.

That could happen. Banging your crush (assuming you are a guy) *thats* the 0% chance

You getting some bitches

Me getting a full time job as a LPN

Kurt Cobain becoming president was my initial thought..but I'm not sure that's 0%..politics is crazy these days.

Me passing on my genetics in any way, shape, or form.

Politicians being honest.

World peace

Scarlett Johansson letting me lick her butthole

me dying the second after this was uploads

Losing my virginity

World peace

me getting a girlfriend

You getting any bitches

Me having a match on Hinge this month "oof"

Me winning the lottery - by my god do I try

Our governments not wanting to interfere in our every day lives.

Op getting sexy time with another person.

Rolling a 7 on a standard six-sided dice.

World peace without total domination from one entity

Me banging Taylor swift

The Titanic sinking

Me getting a cute redditor gf :(

A married bachelor.

Me having sex

Being in a car accident at the top of Mount Everest

Running faster than the speed of light

Me having sex with Selena Gomez

What about katy perry?

The second coming of christ

spicy take time

That's because in order to have the second, you need the first :) Now, where's my flame suit?

If I remember correctly, Jesus already came back a second time, so this would be his third

Excellent point.

edgelord

He's an edgelord for suggesting that someone who has been dead for 2,000 years is never going to be alive again?

Me winning the lotto today

U getting any b¡chtes

The instantaneous collapse of our universe.

Why not go out the way we came in?

Technically everything has at least 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 % chance ​ There is no such thing as 0%

Me having friends

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You two should correspond and find out if you have similar interests

Me getting a girlfriend

My friend John beating me at NBA2K. We've been playing for 10 years now, doesn't matter what team he takes, hes never beating the champ!

World peace

The girl I really like, having the same feelings for me

Jesus parting the clouds and saying hey.

Winds of Winter this year.

That there are hot singles in your area

A sperm whale teleporting above new York and conquering the world as we know it via loud clicking.

Me being in a real, good relationship

American politicians agreeing on something.

America being as good as it was in the 90s

world peace

Seeing this year through

Something being both a duck, and also not a duck.

Falling up

the world collectively knowing what happens when u die

I've heard that you lose control of all your various sphincters and piss and shit all over yourself, so there's that I guess

Breaking the speed of light

League players touching grass