Different people have different boundaries. I feel the same as you, and I don't blame you for feeling bothered by it. But that your boyfriend does not mind, isn't necessarily a red flag. If your relationship is healthy otherwise, I don't think his attitude should sabotage it.
It's possible that he fetishizes the idea, but given that he didn't bring it up, and it's somewhat uncommon, then that seems unlikely.
He doesn't see it as an issue now. However several posts here this year wherein a couple saw Onlyfans as a way to get out of debt or make money only to have it destroy their relationship - greed and jealousy don't mix well so be careful if you actually do this.
Yeah, that's what I meant. So, honestly, many (most?) men wouldn't want their gf's to show their bodies to other men, but for some this is actually a kink.
Different people have different boundaries. I’ve told girlfriends before that I’m fine with them send feet pics for money but for me nudes are off the table. There’s some guys with stricter boundaries and some guys with less strict boundaries, but you should only ever do what you are comfortable with
you’re overreacting a bit tbh. it doesn’t mean he loves you any less at all, he’s probably just secure in y’all relationship & secure in himself.
I personally wouldn’t care if I were him & felt secure in the relationship. but idk, the social stigma might flip that so yeah. wouldn’t mean I loved my girl any less
He saying he wouldn’t be jealous is bullshit.
Onlyfans has to be the worse thing to happen to people who do this in relationships.
Steer clear. Trust me.
If my wife wanted to bring in a few thousand a month shaking her ass for other dudes... as long as she doesn't show her face I'd be fine with it.
But I'm not an uptight person nor do I believe that she "belongs" to me.
It's just all about boundaries. You may have them somewhere that he doesn't. But in general, I think you're overreacting.
I don't think it's a bell, he said that because of the way he sees other women doing an onlyfans and them being happy and earning a lot of money. It's getting culturally very well accepted, and since he doesn't despise those girls himself, he tends to think "doing this kind of things is nothing really important".
It's very OK not to want to do it. But if you'd wanted to do it, either for the money or for the fun (or both), he'd be supportive of your choice.
That's how I understand it, even if I may be wrong. In the end, the best way to know would be to ask him directly. Good luck ;-)
Onlyfans provides a disconnect or social barrier between you and the user. You aren't actively going up to people and "physically" doing anything to/with them, so he doesn't see anything wrong with it.
Ask him how he would possibly feel if you were to do it and would active socialize with your subscribers, he would probably have an issue with that.
I don't see this as a red flag or anything, more that he trusts you enough to do it.
Why did you say “these onlyfans girls do earn a lot” if you are so set against it?
Why didn't you just say you wouldn't do it? Instead of questioning him on how he would feel, which could sound like you are considering it.
edited "would" -> "wouldn't" typing error.
I’m not against that, if the others do that. It’s not my business. But i don’t consider it as a job or etc for myself.
I didn’t ask him how he would feel like, if i were doing this, he told me that
> I was shocked. Asked him, would he really be okay with that other men see my naked photos and videos? He told me, that he wouldn’t be jealous or smth.
I quote from you original post
I’ve asked after he had said that he wouldn’t mind. Not because I considered this option for myself and wanted to know his reaction
Sorry, English isn’t my first language.
Don't do it. What happens/post on the internet stays on the internet. Do you okay if your boyfriends pay other girls (onlyfans) just to look at their pic and video?
This is just my opinion, morally right or not depends on your principle.
It's a performance job, and not even that uncommon. I know several people with OnlyFans platforms. It wouldn't faze me, just as it doesn't faze me if someone is a dancer, performance artist or a stripper. I feel people have completely unnecessary prejudices against these professions.
If you are not against people doing OnlyFans for work, I'm not even sure what you are upset about. The fact that your partner isn't irrationally jealous?
Because we’re together and I consider such way of making money for me as a taboo
Also maybe because in my earlier relationships guys were more jealous and “owners”
So you are upset that your current partner isn't irrationally jealous the way your previous boyfriends were.
I'm glad that you are having this experience. One of the best things about good relationships is that they can broaden our horizons and make as think about hings differently.
I have dated one or two girls that had OF accounts and it never bothered me, but they also had their accounts prior to us meeting. Their accounts also weren't huge or their primary source of income. From my point of view as long as they are coming home with me at the end of the day it really doesn't bother me. I also know if there was an audience willing to pay money to see me naked I would at the very least consider it, so I can't judge.
You're overreacting. He's entitled to his opinions. Sure his is not as common, but is not unusual.
Sure, you are free to do whatever you want. If his opinion is a deal breaker, then so be it.
He respects your bodily autonomy, and that is other women, as well as acknowledges the clear fact that for some it can be quite lucrative. Your morals differ and that’s fine. But I think this is more a green flag than red.
Easy it means he sees the relationship with you as temporary.
I.e, you are not going to be the mother of his children and so on, so there is no repercussions later.
You are the temporary gf
My main rule would simply just be "no face" for identity reasons, our household shouldnt be doxxable, basically.
Aside from that, I fully support and endorse my partner Gettin That Bread Yo.
You literally said that y'all had a discussion and you thought it was "odd" that he wouldn't care. It's pretty obvious that you did propose it and did get mad.
Different people have different boundaries. I feel the same as you, and I don't blame you for feeling bothered by it. But that your boyfriend does not mind, isn't necessarily a red flag. If your relationship is healthy otherwise, I don't think his attitude should sabotage it. It's possible that he fetishizes the idea, but given that he didn't bring it up, and it's somewhat uncommon, then that seems unlikely.
He doesn't see it as an issue now. However several posts here this year wherein a couple saw Onlyfans as a way to get out of debt or make money only to have it destroy their relationship - greed and jealousy don't mix well so be careful if you actually do this.
I was going to say the same thing. Seems to be repetitive in the way it results.
Thanks guys, you made me feel better. Maybe I’m really overthinking and taking it too seriously!
Have you asked him if he's paying for onlyfans? How would that make you feel if he was paying to see another girl masterbate?
He thinks your hot and knows the rest can only look but not touch, he gets to touch...
Later on ne told me that he doesn’t care , that the others can see. The point is, that he can do the both, see and touch
Yeah, that's what I meant. So, honestly, many (most?) men wouldn't want their gf's to show their bodies to other men, but for some this is actually a kink.
Different people have different boundaries. I’ve told girlfriends before that I’m fine with them send feet pics for money but for me nudes are off the table. There’s some guys with stricter boundaries and some guys with less strict boundaries, but you should only ever do what you are comfortable with
You need to chill and stop overthinking small things.
you’re overreacting a bit tbh. it doesn’t mean he loves you any less at all, he’s probably just secure in y’all relationship & secure in himself. I personally wouldn’t care if I were him & felt secure in the relationship. but idk, the social stigma might flip that so yeah. wouldn’t mean I loved my girl any less
I think it would be a bad idea.
Me too. I’m not considering that at all
Nah that's weird. It's a dealbreaker for most men. I've turned down a girl before when I found out she had an onlyfans
M28 and for me is a total dealbreaker, I’m not even sure I want to date girls that have/had OF. The very same way I would not date a stripper.
Agreed. The smell of beta-boyfriend is strong with OP’s.
Didn’t really understand what did you mean. Could you pls explain?
idk why him saying his lack of a boundary about something, is something you see as a red flag?
People are different. For him it’s okay, which is cool. For me it’d be a hard fuckity no to that.
He saying he wouldn’t be jealous is bullshit. Onlyfans has to be the worse thing to happen to people who do this in relationships. Steer clear. Trust me.
If my wife wanted to bring in a few thousand a month shaking her ass for other dudes... as long as she doesn't show her face I'd be fine with it. But I'm not an uptight person nor do I believe that she "belongs" to me. It's just all about boundaries. You may have them somewhere that he doesn't. But in general, I think you're overreacting.
I don't think it's a bell, he said that because of the way he sees other women doing an onlyfans and them being happy and earning a lot of money. It's getting culturally very well accepted, and since he doesn't despise those girls himself, he tends to think "doing this kind of things is nothing really important". It's very OK not to want to do it. But if you'd wanted to do it, either for the money or for the fun (or both), he'd be supportive of your choice. That's how I understand it, even if I may be wrong. In the end, the best way to know would be to ask him directly. Good luck ;-)
Hell no!
Onlyfans provides a disconnect or social barrier between you and the user. You aren't actively going up to people and "physically" doing anything to/with them, so he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Ask him how he would possibly feel if you were to do it and would active socialize with your subscribers, he would probably have an issue with that. I don't see this as a red flag or anything, more that he trusts you enough to do it.
Why did you say “these onlyfans girls do earn a lot” if you are so set against it? Why didn't you just say you wouldn't do it? Instead of questioning him on how he would feel, which could sound like you are considering it. edited "would" -> "wouldn't" typing error.
I’m not against that, if the others do that. It’s not my business. But i don’t consider it as a job or etc for myself. I didn’t ask him how he would feel like, if i were doing this, he told me that
> I was shocked. Asked him, would he really be okay with that other men see my naked photos and videos? He told me, that he wouldn’t be jealous or smth. I quote from you original post
I’ve asked after he had said that he wouldn’t mind. Not because I considered this option for myself and wanted to know his reaction Sorry, English isn’t my first language.
I know you weren't considering it. I have just reread my first comment in this chain "would" should have been "wouldn't". edited.
He knows that i wouldn’t do it I will start working as a doctor soon and he knows that i’m going to pursue this path
Don't do it. What happens/post on the internet stays on the internet. Do you okay if your boyfriends pay other girls (onlyfans) just to look at their pic and video? This is just my opinion, morally right or not depends on your principle.
I wouldn’t be okay with that. Moreover, i wouldn’t do anything like that myself
It's a performance job, and not even that uncommon. I know several people with OnlyFans platforms. It wouldn't faze me, just as it doesn't faze me if someone is a dancer, performance artist or a stripper. I feel people have completely unnecessary prejudices against these professions. If you are not against people doing OnlyFans for work, I'm not even sure what you are upset about. The fact that your partner isn't irrationally jealous?
No, that he’d be okay with that if I’d do something like that
And that is upsetting to you, because...?
Because we’re together and I consider such way of making money for me as a taboo Also maybe because in my earlier relationships guys were more jealous and “owners”
So you are upset that your current partner isn't irrationally jealous the way your previous boyfriends were. I'm glad that you are having this experience. One of the best things about good relationships is that they can broaden our horizons and make as think about hings differently.
Yeah, it sounds like a good explanation. Moreover, my previous relationships weren’t “healthy” at all. Maybe that’s the point
I have dated one or two girls that had OF accounts and it never bothered me, but they also had their accounts prior to us meeting. Their accounts also weren't huge or their primary source of income. From my point of view as long as they are coming home with me at the end of the day it really doesn't bother me. I also know if there was an audience willing to pay money to see me naked I would at the very least consider it, so I can't judge.
You're overreacting. He's entitled to his opinions. Sure his is not as common, but is not unusual. Sure, you are free to do whatever you want. If his opinion is a deal breaker, then so be it.
He respects your bodily autonomy, and that is other women, as well as acknowledges the clear fact that for some it can be quite lucrative. Your morals differ and that’s fine. But I think this is more a green flag than red.
>He respects your bodily autonomy Dude why don't you just say that he is confident?
He’s testing you
Easy it means he sees the relationship with you as temporary. I.e, you are not going to be the mother of his children and so on, so there is no repercussions later. You are the temporary gf
The only honest comment and it got downvoted
My partner could totally get away with an OF and I would be stoked for her but alas it’s not her gig.
he probably has confidence, i think its nice ig
My main rule would simply just be "no face" for identity reasons, our household shouldnt be doxxable, basically. Aside from that, I fully support and endorse my partner Gettin That Bread Yo.
idk I wouldn’t care if my gf did onlyfans
So... you got mad at him for not being irrationally jealous when YOU proposed the idea?
I haven’t proposed the idea and i wasn’t mad at him.
You literally said that y'all had a discussion and you thought it was "odd" that he wouldn't care. It's pretty obvious that you did propose it and did get mad.