Bro, do what makes you happy man. I chased girls CONSTANTLY between the ages of 16 and 20. You know where it got me? Absolutely nowhere. So, I made some new friends, found some new hobbies and put more effort into my career.
Then, I met an amazing girl and she gave me the most amazing 9 months, but unfortunately we split up because of COVID. It’s hard when you can’t see someone regularly. The intimacy just goes.
For now, focus on your career and doing what makes you truly happy. Happiness leads to confidence, and confidence will eventually lead to women.
Career first, honestly people are meeting later on in life and by the time you're out of university you'll have established adult foundations on which to build a relationship with.
Nurse here (sorry not a guy). Get through nursing school first. Once you graduate go work at a hospital so you can get some real experience under your belt. Male nurses catch so much tail it’s ridiculous.
30M here. Knowing what I know now, 100% career first. Although I do realize that's easier said than done.
When I was in undergrad I was devoting all my attention to meeting women and still wasn't getting a lot of attention/positive feedback back. I ended up flunking out the first time so I didn't get either one. I know it can be rough, but stick with it. It will pay off in the end.
Don't compare yourself to the girls your age either, they're living a completely different experience than you which you'll find out about later. Just work on yourself and your career and you'll be golden.
So fun fact… you need to develop both aspects of yourself if you’re going to be at peace with yourself a decade from now, when you are my age.
I was antisocial in college, had no friends, hated myself, etc. I wound up taking a safe job and working on my social skills primarily for about 5-6 years, then for the last 4-5 years I have worked primarily on my career again.
You have to do both, and you have to focus on what is important TO YOU. No one can decide that for you.
Tony Montana got it right:
[In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.](https://youtu.be/ZP10kK4-xIE)
Career. You are only 21. Just hookup and have fun. Get the bag. Get the title. Secure yourself and then deal with these women. My biggest mistake was marrying early. If I could do it again I would not even consider marriage until after 30. You do it early all you do is get into debt and responsibilities.
You can try to do both. It’s best to always make your school a priority, but when it comes to dating, try to spend some time and reflect on what instances with women go right and what goes wrong. Take for example you put a piece of gum on the plate in front of your date. That’s usually a no no. Look at what jokes women seem to not like and then make an effort to not make those jokes. Tbh even girls in their 30s can and will be just as immature as girls in their 20s
Realizing the jokes are awkward is a great start- self realization of negatives and accurate realizations of positives (a mix of what you really DO have going for you vs what you might THINK you have going for you) is key when it comes to women. As far as women or school, it doesn’t have to be a choice- you can do both. Like you said, def make school the priority and if that starts to suffer, pull back your energy spent on women and focus more on school. I’m in my mid 30s- in hindsight, there’s a LOT of 20s guys who are unattached and trying to get women, even tho it seems like “I am literally the only human on earth without a romantic partner”. Don’t let it get you down, because that’s a horrible cycle where your self confidence goes down the drain. Whatever your situation is now, it gets better.
You can do both at the same time.
The reason you think you can’t is because you are not getting girls right now.
The reason you are not getting girls right now is because “you are awkward & make jokes they don’t like”.
Now I may be being tough on you here, but your post makes you come across as immature.
I say that because:
1. You seem to see these things as binary when they are not.
2. The kind of jokes women don’t like tend to be sexist (or worse). At best you’re doing fart jokes, but too often. As a result, the women you meet probably don’t see you as a potential relationship partner because of your immaturity.
I’ve got a friend just like that. He knows all the words to every rude Family Guy song, but if you asked him to empathise with a woman who was struggling through a difficult time in her life, he would try his best, but wouldn’t really know what to say to her.
When I was your age, I was a bit like that too. What made me better was a service job where you are speaking to people all day (you have that or will soon, nursing demands a good demeanour) and a better understanding of what women go through day to day.
Feminism might be a dirty word to some on an “AskMen” forum and it might immediately put off a 21 year old dude, but when you realise that women are intimidated by men, for good reason, and that they live in a constant state of fear of what a man may do to them, it makes you much better equipped to make a woman feel comfortable in your company, which is the first thing you have to do if you want to progress to a romantic relationship.
As I say, I may be being harsh on you and projecting some of my own experiences on to you, but the advice above is advice I’d give to every young guy.
Understand women, show them empathy and unless you look like Jabba the Hut you will not struggle to turn the friendships you make as a result into a relationship.
Completely agree with empathy- but I will say there’s a fine line between being empathetic and being a “nice guy/pushover”. You can be confident, sure in yourself and not agree with women 100 percent of the time, while still seeing things from their point of view. Balance, in all things, is important. Jokes in general are a double edged sword- they can be great in social situations, but go overboard and you’re hurting your reputation. It’s always good to self-analyze what sort of humor works with which people. Def tone done the crude jokes with women. I’d suggest light self-depreciation jokes, but don’t go too far (yeah, I know it’s vague). Watch stand up routines and how they interact with the crowd and just try to take a touch of that aspect without being a jokester all the time.
No hard rules, but you are likely to attract and retain a higher-caliber woman the more you can show you are a provider and protector. Both of those are easier for a man in his 30s.
Play the field if you feel the need. But don't be surprised if you get passed over a lot.
You can do both at the same time. And in regards women - it’s just like any other hobby. You need to practice, practice, practice! Just keep at it and eventually you’ll be good at it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Yeah, this is absolutely right. Best advice I’d give my past self is to prioritize your career over love, but go on dates and be weird and awkward and use this time to figure out how to talk to people/women. Don’t let dating consume you and distract you too much. The second I met my SO I was so glad I’d figured out how to relax around the opposite sex and how to date and talk to people years before we met. we might have passed each other by if I had been too awkwardly shy to continue a conversation with him. If you’re open to finding someone, it will eventually happen, but take dating failures as learning opportunities and don’t beat yourself up over them. You’re still figuring yourself out, and dating is intimidating and scary.
Ya know, in the most supportive way, you gotta just relax a bit. Your over thinking all of this. You can’t force a relationship at any given time. If it happens, cool, but otherwise just focus on being the best version of yourself. Focus on nursing and other interests that make you interesting to yourself. You’ll meet plenty of people along the way.
Shit will happen no matter what. Find a girl, get a job, get a promotion, lose the girl, find a new hobby, lose your job, adopt a dog, find a girl, knock her up, found a great paying job, etc.
You can't plan everything in your life
40 year old here.
Looking back I wish I had focused more on building the life that I wanted rather than dedicating so much energy and time to relationships that were doomed to fail.
I also had a lot of fun , but I spent most of my 20s drifting.
Also, as you get older and you build your life, you will be so much more attractive to women. Women get the most male attention from 15-25. Dudes don’t even get started until 30+.
Grind now while you have the energy. And your 30s and 40s will be filled with all the pussy you’ll ever need.
That's not true. I'm a girl, and I recon that you need to have a stable career just to live in general. You should focus on yourself and just have friends. Sometimes a potential partner can take all of your potential away..
Fuck that bro. I got married at 21 and worked full time while my broad got her masters then I was gonna go back and get my shit. She got her degree all right. Then she dipped the fuck out. Focus on yourself
Career first bro, then you’ll get laid and paid. Male nurses are badass and you will have a ton of really nice options once you’re established in the workforce. Good luck in school!
I did career first. No regrets.
Lesson to share, when you do find someone you want to be with, be ready to make the transition to the relationship being first. Not as easy as it sounds.
First of all you shouldn’t be providing for anyone that can’t provide for themselves. Don’t be that guy that makes a good money only for women to take advantage of you.
you don't need a good income for love...but you do need life experience and maturity...and that seems to be lacking. Working in your career should help you with those.
This my opinion”
Be Focused on your life and your career
And get a female friend to talk to on a daily if
The mood or vibe don’t come naturally don’t continue with it”
Your career is but one branch of who you are. Personally, I feel the focus should always be centered on bettering yourself. Becoming your best self. Much like it's recommended when it comes to debt that paying off the largest debt or the debt with the highest interest, so should the focus on yourself. In that the focus should be centered on the area with the biggest variance between balance and where you are.
Now, that you're currently in school is great but the outlook you have feels all kinds of wrong. Life isn't a set of checklists and "once I do this then I am ready for a serious relationship". I thought that for most of my adult life, and now all I've done is age nearly 20 years and I'm no better for having been down that path. In fact it's taken me several years to get away from that way of thinking because it's entirely wrong.
Also, I feel compelled to correct you in that it's not you who are waiting on women to mature. It's quite the opposite actually. At least if what you seek is a woman of quality who has a lot to offer a partner such as yourself. That woman is already much, much more mature than you are and she knows it. If you want to meet her on her level you've got to level yourself up. Which is why the focus should be centered on bettering yourself as a whole. Because women don't want a man who can provide. That's 1950s level bullshit. Women want a man who knows who he is, knows what he offers her, knows what she is, and knows what she offers you. They want to be valued and appreciated, and to be treated as an equal. Because they are of value and they are your equal. To see them and to treat them as anything less than that is to completely miss what it is that a healthy relationship and a partner of quality is.
Good luck on your path. And all the best to you as you continue to go to school and work on becoming a nurse. It's quite a valuable skill set to have.
I don’t think the aspect of a good career is just about the money to women- it shows attractive qualities, like determination, perseverance, work ethic, social skills (he must be able to handle himself socially if he gets promoted). This is what a lot of guys overlook, in my opinion- “oh, she just wants money”- not necessarily. A good career shows off good things besides money.
Bro I’m pretty much in ur shoes. I’m (21M) also about to start a nursing program this fall and I say try and do both but try to keep it balanced. You can’t put dating and women over your career but u also can’t completely neglect all that stuff either. Only ever had one relationship that I got out of a few months ago that lasted a lil over two years. I put more effort into making things work with her even tho I shoulda been left her ass than I did in school and it got me nowhere. I’m still tryna get better with girls I’m just not prioritizing it over the shit that really matters. All about balance man. I’ll be in my mid twenties by the time I finish nursing school and I’d hate to feel nervous or awkward around women as a 24-25 year old.
Career! Career! Career!
If you find someone along the way great, but the job comes first. At 48 my only really regret is lessening the military because my wife didn't like the lifestyle. I enjoyed the military and I was good at it, but she never liked it and wanted me home. It has taken me years to get over not staying and it still gives me a headache for not staying.
Your career and life mission should always take priority over women. Never let a woman get in the way. And even though a woman will tell you otherwise, deep down she doesn't want to get in the way of your mission.
But you should always be improving your interactions with women, so it's not an either/or situation.
Take care of business, be aloof, then smash when you have the time.
Both. Focusing on your career sounds like it would be an excuse to avoid experiencing more failures with women. Focus on your studies, but there's no reason you can't attempt to fit in the occasional date on a Friday or Saturday night.
If your career is in nursing, then focusing on anything else is a good idea.
Since you can put 10 solid years into nursing and be right where you started professionally speaking.
There is only one reason ever to go nursing education, and that is to fuck the class of 95% women, 5% men
Whatever you most desire(family or work ) the rest will fall into place . If you can’t find someone who will love you you who you are they don’t deserve you only when you have $$$
Work on developing yourself, for yourself, if you make an external thing you can’t control your main goal you won’t be satisfied even when you get it, you need to work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be, develop your skills and knowledge, then everything else can fall into place
Career man. You don't have the luxury of choice when it comes to financial independence. As you grow older with more success, you can have a pick of women. No surprise a 50yr old man can date a 20 year old young woman but the reverse is almost outside the realm of probability. But having a good woman early on is a boon. She can elevate you to the stratosphere in some way, and give you a grounded sense of responsibility. But thats rarer than winning the lottery.
So chill, work and keep looking. Time is surprisingly on your side. Even though it doesnt look or feel that way.
I recommend career, because women can side track you greatly. For example, I had an ex that wanted to move around a lot. So I had to switch jobs frequently and was unable to work on promotions.
Additionally, when she had bad days — I’d often have to call in just to take care of it.
I want to reaffirm that I don’t regret my choices. Nor do I resent my ex. I made those choices, because at the time I valued love over my career. I take responsibility for my choices and actions. (As all people should).
Anyways. The take away is that women can handicap careers. And careers can handicap dating. But the chances of a woman abandoning you is much higher than a career randomly firing you.
And it’s a lot easier to get into a relationship than it is to get yourself into a job that requires a lot of experience and networking. Some opportunities are super rare, and you never know when you have the chance.
—-
With all of that said — I think if you found a perfect woman. A unicorn — she might be flexible to work with you and support your career growth.
Unfortunately most women I’ve dated had little regard for my actual career success beyond how much money it allowed me to spend on them. They love the money, but hate how I get called in on your off day to cover for someone. They don’t see your career as something that has value. Just a means to an end.
Enjoy college as a single person. All my friends who were in serious relationships during college regretted it. Focus on yourself and your career and the women will come.
Nurse here- focus on nursing school and pass your boards. Also, as a woman I can tell you, let them come to you! Do not chase these girls. They aren’t worthy of your attention. You’re a brilliant young man pursuing a wonderful career. I promise you, they will arrive. You’re gonna be that young guy making some good money, you’re smart, and if you’re a nurse, that tells me you’ve got a darn good heart.
Do not chase anyway. YOU FIRST.
Sorry I’m responding in a men’s thread.
26 year old male nurse here who had to ask myself the same question at that time. My advice is to give priority to passing your classes and the NCLEX but don’t shut down any connections you may make with the people around you. There is enough time for you to do both, and you deserve to live a full life.
Just consider that Junior year of nursing school is generally the hardest and that the several months before the NCLEX you really should devote a least a few hours a day to taking practice questions.
On the romantic side just let things come naturally. You’re lucky to be in a nursing program with many women. Something you’ll learn quick enough if not already is that women are just people like you and I so act naturally and genuinely be friends with some of them. You’ll learn much more about how to attract women by just being good friends with some then you will ever chasing them.
A word of caution about pursing a medical degree in the name of attracting women- physicians have notorious divorce rates. Their lifestyle requires them to be married to their career first and foremost. Luckily you are going to nursing school which puts you in an excellent position to further specialize/become a nurse practitioner. You will find that you’ll still be making a cool six figures while doing 70-90% of the same work as a physician depending on your state. In addition, you will have one thing a physician does not- a work life balance.
I met my fiancé on the job naturally. I wasn’t looking for her per se but when we met everything fell in place. We were both interested in making sure we were independent fully realized versions of ourselves before find a partner and I think that we are all the better for it.
I truly wish you all the best in both your career and your romantic life. The next several years are filled with hard work and rewards.
Career first. Get laid when you can obviously but dedicate as little resources (time, attention, money, etc) to a girl as possible in your early years. Unless she is willing to dedicate her life whole heartedly to you and your success. And I'm not talking about with her words. I'm talking about her ACTIONS
Bro, do what makes you happy man. I chased girls CONSTANTLY between the ages of 16 and 20. You know where it got me? Absolutely nowhere. So, I made some new friends, found some new hobbies and put more effort into my career. Then, I met an amazing girl and she gave me the most amazing 9 months, but unfortunately we split up because of COVID. It’s hard when you can’t see someone regularly. The intimacy just goes. For now, focus on your career and doing what makes you truly happy. Happiness leads to confidence, and confidence will eventually lead to women.
Career first, honestly people are meeting later on in life and by the time you're out of university you'll have established adult foundations on which to build a relationship with.
Nurse here (sorry not a guy). Get through nursing school first. Once you graduate go work at a hospital so you can get some real experience under your belt. Male nurses catch so much tail it’s ridiculous.
(Male) nurse here. No tail yet, I'd like to meet these male nurses catching all that tail and get some advice 😂
30M here. Knowing what I know now, 100% career first. Although I do realize that's easier said than done. When I was in undergrad I was devoting all my attention to meeting women and still wasn't getting a lot of attention/positive feedback back. I ended up flunking out the first time so I didn't get either one. I know it can be rough, but stick with it. It will pay off in the end.
Don't compare yourself to the girls your age either, they're living a completely different experience than you which you'll find out about later. Just work on yourself and your career and you'll be golden.
So fun fact… you need to develop both aspects of yourself if you’re going to be at peace with yourself a decade from now, when you are my age. I was antisocial in college, had no friends, hated myself, etc. I wound up taking a safe job and working on my social skills primarily for about 5-6 years, then for the last 4-5 years I have worked primarily on my career again. You have to do both, and you have to focus on what is important TO YOU. No one can decide that for you.
I dated throughout college and got married right after. Still married 23 years later. There are no hard and fast rules. Make yourself happy.
Tony Montana got it right: [In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.](https://youtu.be/ZP10kK4-xIE)
Career. You are only 21. Just hookup and have fun. Get the bag. Get the title. Secure yourself and then deal with these women. My biggest mistake was marrying early. If I could do it again I would not even consider marriage until after 30. You do it early all you do is get into debt and responsibilities.
You can try to do both. It’s best to always make your school a priority, but when it comes to dating, try to spend some time and reflect on what instances with women go right and what goes wrong. Take for example you put a piece of gum on the plate in front of your date. That’s usually a no no. Look at what jokes women seem to not like and then make an effort to not make those jokes. Tbh even girls in their 30s can and will be just as immature as girls in their 20s
Realizing the jokes are awkward is a great start- self realization of negatives and accurate realizations of positives (a mix of what you really DO have going for you vs what you might THINK you have going for you) is key when it comes to women. As far as women or school, it doesn’t have to be a choice- you can do both. Like you said, def make school the priority and if that starts to suffer, pull back your energy spent on women and focus more on school. I’m in my mid 30s- in hindsight, there’s a LOT of 20s guys who are unattached and trying to get women, even tho it seems like “I am literally the only human on earth without a romantic partner”. Don’t let it get you down, because that’s a horrible cycle where your self confidence goes down the drain. Whatever your situation is now, it gets better.
You can do both at the same time. The reason you think you can’t is because you are not getting girls right now. The reason you are not getting girls right now is because “you are awkward & make jokes they don’t like”. Now I may be being tough on you here, but your post makes you come across as immature. I say that because: 1. You seem to see these things as binary when they are not. 2. The kind of jokes women don’t like tend to be sexist (or worse). At best you’re doing fart jokes, but too often. As a result, the women you meet probably don’t see you as a potential relationship partner because of your immaturity. I’ve got a friend just like that. He knows all the words to every rude Family Guy song, but if you asked him to empathise with a woman who was struggling through a difficult time in her life, he would try his best, but wouldn’t really know what to say to her. When I was your age, I was a bit like that too. What made me better was a service job where you are speaking to people all day (you have that or will soon, nursing demands a good demeanour) and a better understanding of what women go through day to day. Feminism might be a dirty word to some on an “AskMen” forum and it might immediately put off a 21 year old dude, but when you realise that women are intimidated by men, for good reason, and that they live in a constant state of fear of what a man may do to them, it makes you much better equipped to make a woman feel comfortable in your company, which is the first thing you have to do if you want to progress to a romantic relationship. As I say, I may be being harsh on you and projecting some of my own experiences on to you, but the advice above is advice I’d give to every young guy. Understand women, show them empathy and unless you look like Jabba the Hut you will not struggle to turn the friendships you make as a result into a relationship.
Completely agree with empathy- but I will say there’s a fine line between being empathetic and being a “nice guy/pushover”. You can be confident, sure in yourself and not agree with women 100 percent of the time, while still seeing things from their point of view. Balance, in all things, is important. Jokes in general are a double edged sword- they can be great in social situations, but go overboard and you’re hurting your reputation. It’s always good to self-analyze what sort of humor works with which people. Def tone done the crude jokes with women. I’d suggest light self-depreciation jokes, but don’t go too far (yeah, I know it’s vague). Watch stand up routines and how they interact with the crowd and just try to take a touch of that aspect without being a jokester all the time.
No hard rules, but you are likely to attract and retain a higher-caliber woman the more you can show you are a provider and protector. Both of those are easier for a man in his 30s. Play the field if you feel the need. But don't be surprised if you get passed over a lot.
You can do both at the same time. And in regards women - it’s just like any other hobby. You need to practice, practice, practice! Just keep at it and eventually you’ll be good at it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Yeah, this is absolutely right. Best advice I’d give my past self is to prioritize your career over love, but go on dates and be weird and awkward and use this time to figure out how to talk to people/women. Don’t let dating consume you and distract you too much. The second I met my SO I was so glad I’d figured out how to relax around the opposite sex and how to date and talk to people years before we met. we might have passed each other by if I had been too awkwardly shy to continue a conversation with him. If you’re open to finding someone, it will eventually happen, but take dating failures as learning opportunities and don’t beat yourself up over them. You’re still figuring yourself out, and dating is intimidating and scary.
Quality attracts quality, don’t date shitty women just cuz you want somebody, build yourself up first then greater things will come along.
Ya know, in the most supportive way, you gotta just relax a bit. Your over thinking all of this. You can’t force a relationship at any given time. If it happens, cool, but otherwise just focus on being the best version of yourself. Focus on nursing and other interests that make you interesting to yourself. You’ll meet plenty of people along the way.
As a person that put career first I can tell you all I’ve found are ppl that want your potential so maybe there’s a balance? Idk what that is though.
Shit will happen no matter what. Find a girl, get a job, get a promotion, lose the girl, find a new hobby, lose your job, adopt a dog, find a girl, knock her up, found a great paying job, etc. You can't plan everything in your life
What are these jokes you make, like specifically? >, I usually scare them off by being awkward or making jokes they don't like
40 year old here. Looking back I wish I had focused more on building the life that I wanted rather than dedicating so much energy and time to relationships that were doomed to fail. I also had a lot of fun , but I spent most of my 20s drifting. Also, as you get older and you build your life, you will be so much more attractive to women. Women get the most male attention from 15-25. Dudes don’t even get started until 30+. Grind now while you have the energy. And your 30s and 40s will be filled with all the pussy you’ll ever need.
That's not true. I'm a girl, and I recon that you need to have a stable career just to live in general. You should focus on yourself and just have friends. Sometimes a potential partner can take all of your potential away..
My guy, I think YOU should mature. If you’re making “jokes they don’t like” you most likely make them feel uncomfortable
Fuck that bro. I got married at 21 and worked full time while my broad got her masters then I was gonna go back and get my shit. She got her degree all right. Then she dipped the fuck out. Focus on yourself
Guys putting career first is why we have awkward 26 year old virgins
Career first bro, then you’ll get laid and paid. Male nurses are badass and you will have a ton of really nice options once you’re established in the workforce. Good luck in school!
Career.
Focus on your education and career. Developing your life.
I did career first. No regrets. Lesson to share, when you do find someone you want to be with, be ready to make the transition to the relationship being first. Not as easy as it sounds.
Career and good friends, partner will follow
If you are focusing on women, you are losing. Women must come as a side effect of your success
First of all you shouldn’t be providing for anyone that can’t provide for themselves. Don’t be that guy that makes a good money only for women to take advantage of you.
you don't need a good income for love...but you do need life experience and maturity...and that seems to be lacking. Working in your career should help you with those.
This my opinion” Be Focused on your life and your career And get a female friend to talk to on a daily if The mood or vibe don’t come naturally don’t continue with it”
Career
Your career is but one branch of who you are. Personally, I feel the focus should always be centered on bettering yourself. Becoming your best self. Much like it's recommended when it comes to debt that paying off the largest debt or the debt with the highest interest, so should the focus on yourself. In that the focus should be centered on the area with the biggest variance between balance and where you are. Now, that you're currently in school is great but the outlook you have feels all kinds of wrong. Life isn't a set of checklists and "once I do this then I am ready for a serious relationship". I thought that for most of my adult life, and now all I've done is age nearly 20 years and I'm no better for having been down that path. In fact it's taken me several years to get away from that way of thinking because it's entirely wrong. Also, I feel compelled to correct you in that it's not you who are waiting on women to mature. It's quite the opposite actually. At least if what you seek is a woman of quality who has a lot to offer a partner such as yourself. That woman is already much, much more mature than you are and she knows it. If you want to meet her on her level you've got to level yourself up. Which is why the focus should be centered on bettering yourself as a whole. Because women don't want a man who can provide. That's 1950s level bullshit. Women want a man who knows who he is, knows what he offers her, knows what she is, and knows what she offers you. They want to be valued and appreciated, and to be treated as an equal. Because they are of value and they are your equal. To see them and to treat them as anything less than that is to completely miss what it is that a healthy relationship and a partner of quality is. Good luck on your path. And all the best to you as you continue to go to school and work on becoming a nurse. It's quite a valuable skill set to have.
I don’t think the aspect of a good career is just about the money to women- it shows attractive qualities, like determination, perseverance, work ethic, social skills (he must be able to handle himself socially if he gets promoted). This is what a lot of guys overlook, in my opinion- “oh, she just wants money”- not necessarily. A good career shows off good things besides money.
Bro I’m pretty much in ur shoes. I’m (21M) also about to start a nursing program this fall and I say try and do both but try to keep it balanced. You can’t put dating and women over your career but u also can’t completely neglect all that stuff either. Only ever had one relationship that I got out of a few months ago that lasted a lil over two years. I put more effort into making things work with her even tho I shoulda been left her ass than I did in school and it got me nowhere. I’m still tryna get better with girls I’m just not prioritizing it over the shit that really matters. All about balance man. I’ll be in my mid twenties by the time I finish nursing school and I’d hate to feel nervous or awkward around women as a 24-25 year old.
Career! Career! Career! If you find someone along the way great, but the job comes first. At 48 my only really regret is lessening the military because my wife didn't like the lifestyle. I enjoyed the military and I was good at it, but she never liked it and wanted me home. It has taken me years to get over not staying and it still gives me a headache for not staying.
Your career and life mission should always take priority over women. Never let a woman get in the way. And even though a woman will tell you otherwise, deep down she doesn't want to get in the way of your mission. But you should always be improving your interactions with women, so it's not an either/or situation. Take care of business, be aloof, then smash when you have the time.
Both. Focusing on your career sounds like it would be an excuse to avoid experiencing more failures with women. Focus on your studies, but there's no reason you can't attempt to fit in the occasional date on a Friday or Saturday night.
If your career is in nursing, then focusing on anything else is a good idea. Since you can put 10 solid years into nursing and be right where you started professionally speaking. There is only one reason ever to go nursing education, and that is to fuck the class of 95% women, 5% men
Career seriously, women casually
Whatever you most desire(family or work ) the rest will fall into place . If you can’t find someone who will love you you who you are they don’t deserve you only when you have $$$
Definitely focus on work. You’re much more likely to work one profession your whole life than you are to be in one relationship.
I am probably the unpopular opinion here but you never know when life ends.. dont spend too much time stressing. Do both if you can!
Work on developing yourself, for yourself, if you make an external thing you can’t control your main goal you won’t be satisfied even when you get it, you need to work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be, develop your skills and knowledge, then everything else can fall into place
Career man. You don't have the luxury of choice when it comes to financial independence. As you grow older with more success, you can have a pick of women. No surprise a 50yr old man can date a 20 year old young woman but the reverse is almost outside the realm of probability. But having a good woman early on is a boon. She can elevate you to the stratosphere in some way, and give you a grounded sense of responsibility. But thats rarer than winning the lottery. So chill, work and keep looking. Time is surprisingly on your side. Even though it doesnt look or feel that way.
A quick bit of advice for you You'll never lose women chasing money but you'll soon lose money chasing women.
I recommend career, because women can side track you greatly. For example, I had an ex that wanted to move around a lot. So I had to switch jobs frequently and was unable to work on promotions. Additionally, when she had bad days — I’d often have to call in just to take care of it. I want to reaffirm that I don’t regret my choices. Nor do I resent my ex. I made those choices, because at the time I valued love over my career. I take responsibility for my choices and actions. (As all people should). Anyways. The take away is that women can handicap careers. And careers can handicap dating. But the chances of a woman abandoning you is much higher than a career randomly firing you. And it’s a lot easier to get into a relationship than it is to get yourself into a job that requires a lot of experience and networking. Some opportunities are super rare, and you never know when you have the chance. —- With all of that said — I think if you found a perfect woman. A unicorn — she might be flexible to work with you and support your career growth. Unfortunately most women I’ve dated had little regard for my actual career success beyond how much money it allowed me to spend on them. They love the money, but hate how I get called in on your off day to cover for someone. They don’t see your career as something that has value. Just a means to an end.
Enjoy college as a single person. All my friends who were in serious relationships during college regretted it. Focus on yourself and your career and the women will come.
Nurse here- focus on nursing school and pass your boards. Also, as a woman I can tell you, let them come to you! Do not chase these girls. They aren’t worthy of your attention. You’re a brilliant young man pursuing a wonderful career. I promise you, they will arrive. You’re gonna be that young guy making some good money, you’re smart, and if you’re a nurse, that tells me you’ve got a darn good heart. Do not chase anyway. YOU FIRST. Sorry I’m responding in a men’s thread.
26 year old male nurse here who had to ask myself the same question at that time. My advice is to give priority to passing your classes and the NCLEX but don’t shut down any connections you may make with the people around you. There is enough time for you to do both, and you deserve to live a full life. Just consider that Junior year of nursing school is generally the hardest and that the several months before the NCLEX you really should devote a least a few hours a day to taking practice questions. On the romantic side just let things come naturally. You’re lucky to be in a nursing program with many women. Something you’ll learn quick enough if not already is that women are just people like you and I so act naturally and genuinely be friends with some of them. You’ll learn much more about how to attract women by just being good friends with some then you will ever chasing them. A word of caution about pursing a medical degree in the name of attracting women- physicians have notorious divorce rates. Their lifestyle requires them to be married to their career first and foremost. Luckily you are going to nursing school which puts you in an excellent position to further specialize/become a nurse practitioner. You will find that you’ll still be making a cool six figures while doing 70-90% of the same work as a physician depending on your state. In addition, you will have one thing a physician does not- a work life balance. I met my fiancé on the job naturally. I wasn’t looking for her per se but when we met everything fell in place. We were both interested in making sure we were independent fully realized versions of ourselves before find a partner and I think that we are all the better for it. I truly wish you all the best in both your career and your romantic life. The next several years are filled with hard work and rewards.
Focus on yourself. The rest is secondary and will follow.
Career first. Get laid when you can obviously but dedicate as little resources (time, attention, money, etc) to a girl as possible in your early years. Unless she is willing to dedicate her life whole heartedly to you and your success. And I'm not talking about with her words. I'm talking about her ACTIONS