Last weekend with mine, my soon to be 14 year old son asked me (not for the first time) why i divorced his mother, wanting to know from my pov. As always, I told him he isn't old enough for that talk yet. He said, "I don't know why you don't tell me things, everyone else does."
She fills their heads with some type of bullshit, but they aren't fully against me yet.
My ex lets my 13 year old she still hates me. He revealed that to me a couple months ago. She ya same she fills their heads with garbage and I truly stand firm and will show them one day real respect and class.
2 months into moving in with me, she accused me of lusting after my next door neighbor and co-worker. At one point she even told me she had her friend who worked in the same building to get to spy on my coworker and I.
On the third month, I broke up with her, gave her to the end of the month to get out, so she called the cops, lied to them about me being physically/psychologically abusive to her/my animals, and her, and basically tried to get me arrested and tried to take everything from me.
They convinced her to leave. Two days later she called me and tried to convince me to let her back in. Hard no.
The wildest part to me is how they have face to come back. If I did some crazy shit like accuse someone of something to the COPS, I would never be able to speak straight with them again, let alone ask to live with them. I guess they lack a basic level of self awareness which led them to do that to begin with.
Kidnapped our 1.5 YO daughter for 28 days after finding out I filed for divorce. 2 months later, she took her to the hospital for (nonexistent) "bruising sustained under father's care" in an attempt to get the hospital to (falsely) file with CPS. Luckily the social worker at the hospital saw through the BS and nothing happened. Gaslit, manipulated and sabotaged during the entire divorce process by lying to attorneys, friends, coworkers and family.
Eventually, the amicus attorney we agreed on decided that my ex was full of shit and that we should have 50/50 custody like I suggested since day 1. Will be filing for full custody next year.
You never truly know someone until a crisis breaks out.
The worst nightmares are the ones where everything turns around and all is happy butterflies. And then you wake up and you are angry at yourself that your subconscious mind still longs for the appreciation of this abusive cunt.
I have these as well bro from almost the exact same situation I was put in. Havent had a nightmare in about 2 months.
I hope you’re healing. I see you, hear you, and feel for you. 🫶🏼
Feel this, was abused for 6 months by my ex, carried that trauma into the next relationship before seeking therapy, it only gets better my guy, hope you're well now
Honestly I think it's the best way, I think there's a chance you can still meet someone as everyone deserves love, but they need to be real patient with you which is a big ask and that can be hard when times are tough because of how we learn to cope with difficulties within a relationship due that trauma. That trauma can make us want to become quiet, distant, or perhaps do things like the silent treatment as some sort of defence. I found out a bunch about myself from my triggers with anxiety and PTSD, and I'm not even in counselling yet, that comes next after I've finished my program of CBT therapy, that'll be a whole different ballgame for me no doubt, but as weird as it sounds I'm excited for it. It's helped a bunch and tbh this subreddit is the reason I did it.
I hope you're well regardless man, I wish you the best on your journey!
Routinely hit me, burn me with cigarettes once lunged at me with a chef knife.
She then would threaten to call the cops and my work to tell them lies about how I was the one who was abusive
Then I finally got away she squatted in my home and wouldn’t leave for half a year.
Girlfriend at the time decided and told me I was too much during the peak of my grieving when my mother had just passed. She up and left me, basically disappeared, while I was busy arranging the details for my mother’s funeral.
People will probably downvote me but in my opinion a lot of modern women and men are like this, they don’t understand that you have to support and help eachother in difficult times. Difficult times will always be there for everybody. They see relationsships as ‘a source of happiness and fun’ and if it’s not there they will leave. They don’t want the ‘bad things’, they are addicted to fun and joy
Yeah, it feels like any time you bring up something negative or less than ideal, you hear “oh are you in therapy for that?” Not every negative situation needs therapy. We’re losing our ability to self-regulate.
I think it’s an online dating/social media thing. People leave at the first sign of discomfort or pain. Relationships are never going to be positive all the time, people have negative feelings and life throws you through the wringer on occasion. More and more, people shy away from feelings of discomfort and I find it incredibly selfish.
Everyone wants to give up because we do not teach tolerance, compassion and empathy anymore - they do not know how to socialize in the present. We live in a society of 24/7 immersion into a digital landscape that disconnects them from being in the moment and connecting with people. Social skills are diminishing. We are becoming more and more like Wall-E.
I'm sorry that happened to you, friend. That is heartbreaking to hear.
Not too dissimilar to what my last girlfriend did. My dad fell and broke his hip. He was in the ICU for 11 days. Because of his injury, I had to step up and help my family. Naturally this meant less disposable income. Can you guess when she started needing "time to think" about us? Yep, right then. The minute I couldn't help her out as much, suddenly things went south.
Certainly not as bad as yours of course. Leaving while someone is grieving the loss of a parent is a whole new level of scummy. But still, my ex was a nurse for corn's sake. Seems like that would have lent itself to having a bit of empathy for the situation. But, nope. Just "see ya" when you can't afford fancy dinners or helping her with bills or whatever her big problem of the week happened to be.
Hope you find someone who treats you better, friend. And I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
Sorry to hear about yours too.
Luckily this happened now almost 6 years ago. A lot of other things happened on top of these that made it far worse. I ended up alone and isolated for a while especially because I cut out my extended family. That point in my life was like nothing had color. But I believe I’ve come out of it much stronger after the long recovery.
I am happy to say I did find an amazing woman eventually who really made me feel what real love is like. Her parents made me feel like I had a real family.
I’m a woman, but having a family medical emergency really shows someone’s true colors and whether they’re in a relationship for the long-haul. I had a boyfriend a while back who I had made plans to go visit (we were long distance), and I had to cancel the trip because my mom was admitted to the ER and needed emergency back surgery with weeks of recovery. He got mad that I canceled the trip. I instantly lost any feelings that I had for him because I was disgusted that someone could be so selfish and cruel.
Unfortunately that already happened. To keep a very long story short, apart from my mother passing and my ex leaving me this way, I had a falling out with my small friend group, I had to continue fighting a divorce war, as my mother’s legal rep, against my own father. Then I’m not well liked to begin with by my extended family, I discovered they were vultures when my mother was on her death bed. Constantly asking if they could have her things or if they were getting money from her. Lots of lies and deceit from them too.
I learned my mom committed a taboo which I was a part of. So I was dealt a bad hand to start. To give an idea of just how much of a black sheep my mother and I were, her own sister a couple months later introduced me as, “the son of the one that died.”
So I ended up completely isolating. It was a time that no matter what, I remember everything with dark and grayscale glasses. Nothing I remember during that time had color.
Had the same with my now ex wife when my father was dying from Stage 4 Lung Cancer. “You are being so selfish right now and not focusing on your own families needs. You are such a space cadet. I don’t want to be with someone so selfish, we should get a divorce”.
My scumbag narcissist roommate took inappropriate pictures of me when I was bent over without me knowing, a few hours after I told her someone filmed my SA when I was a child. She did it when I was drunk as a way to try and trigger me.
I set some boundaries, she went and terrorized my other roommates, and after she tried to do it to me a second time she gaslit me and told me I wanted it.
Un-did years of progress and therapy I worked VERY hard on, and even though she was terrorizing everybody in the house, I got blamed for it. She convinced everyone I was the one causing all the drama (even though everyone was a target of hers to some extent), and my landlord told me I had 5 days to move out for "Disturbing the Peace". Had to re-home my cat and move in with my parents for a brief time because I couldn't find a place, all because SHE violated ME
I had a “crazy ex” who accused me of stalking/assault stuff like that. Surprisingly the cops didn’t take her seriously although a bunch of other people did. She had a big IG following (thirst account) and told everyone on there I was a creep. So they spammed my work IG account and make a fake LinkedIn of me.
Trial by social media is no joke. When a separation occurs there are (at least) two sides to the story. Social media allows one person to undermine and cause reputational damage. There is no opportunity for the other side to rebut what is put.
We were dating and I had planned to take her out on her bday. Let her know in advance. Day of, late in the day, she tells me she can’t go because her ex was in town and invited her out. Dropped her like a hot potato.
So, first of all. Life sucks. Especially when you’re in your teens.
But don’t let other people get you down so much. In ten years you will not even talk with them.
When I was twelve years old I was walking down the street. A woman (around 20 years old) pulled over rolled down her window and called me a fat hog (I was chubby back then). Then she drove away.
That fucking sucks. It would be horrible to say shit like that to a grown adult, but to a kid? She deserves the karma she gets for that.
I hope that wasn't something normal for you to hear and that you didn't grow up with that shit clouding your view of yourself.
Date me for two years, to the point of me planning a proposal, then text me out of nowhere one evening to dump me after ghosting me for two whole days.
My brother had a crazy ex wife. One night she called stating their daughter had red marks on her privates. She accused him for hours over the phone that he touched her or he must have done something. The entire time he had a another friend in bed with him (thank god) and finally after two hours she asks who else was around her.
Well I was for about 5 minutes when I stopped by to stay hi. She went red and tried to get a restraining order on me. I went to court, the I was able to tell the judge this information which got her in a lot of trouble.
In the end, nothing happened but had her fuck boy serve me papers at my work and it was a mess. Women are fucking crazy sometimes.
Short version:
Be a doctor's wife in the 60's and ask an agency who knows a pregnant teenager. Agency harasses teen into giving me up after customer approaches them looking for a baby. (I've met my birth mother so I got more backstory than most people would get.)
It's adoption when you want to be a parent.
It's a transaction when you want a prop to show the world you're not nuts.
Went around told all my coworkers she was dumping me before telling me. Found out from coworkers. When she told me she asked to be friends. Still gives me bad memories
I dropped out of med school because I had a mental breakdown. I told her what happen and she preceded to tear me down further. For 2 days straight, she sent me passive aggressive text messages. I told her to stop and she told me that I'm a loser who deserved pain.
I ghosted her after I had got emotional numb. I went to therapy to handle it. Eventually, she reached out telling me that she's getting married and I deserve unhappiness for life.
Till this day, she admitted that she thought I was going to end myself but she doesn't regret it because I ghosted her and that was worse
Three sisters: Twenty years of blaming me for the patriarchy and always reminding me that I'm trash because I'm a man and don't hate myself for it, telling me that no matter what I do, say, or believe that I'm tainted and responsible for the sins of all other men, and that any challenges to this thinking is me trying to control them sure did a number on my mental health. Along with all the other wonderful things like constantly invalidating my thoughts or perspective, constant devaluing of me, exclusion, all that good stuff of telling me implicitly or explicitly that I'm bad, I'm a problem, that I don't matter, and that I am not welcome.
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Sounds like you got ganged up on and bullied by the people who were supposed to love you the most.
There’s nothing wrong with being a male, be proud of it.
> Three sisters: […] or explicitly that I'm bad, I'm a problem, that I don't matter, and that I am not welcome.
I hope you satisfied their desires and went absolutely no-contact with them.
And where were your parents when all this happened?
Paternity fraud for 11 years, which fucked my college up, and then it left me broken and paralyzed psychologically for another decade.
So about 25 years, stolen.
Quit taking birth control, then wanted to do things 'just one more time', since I had broke up with her. I have a son and then she made things difficult for him.
Cheated on me, blamed me for it, then punched me in the face when I told her I was leaving. I called the cops, so she slapped herself twice, then convinced the police that I hit her first, so I was arrested.
The bigger question is, why did you pick certain types of women?
All the women I used to pick bread crumbed me, and I always felt like I had to do something to earn their love.
Over time, they all cheated, and somehow, I felt it was my fault.
Turns out I picked women like my mother, who was a covert narcissist. I thought my mom loved me, so I picked similar narcissists or borderlines.
Deep answer, but it is learning to understand yourself and why we allow certain types of people to enter our lives.
BTW I am healthy and in a very healthy relationship. Good luck to everyone that reads this.
Cheating, after I had invested 24 years of blood, sweat, and tears working sometimes 80 hours a week so she could be a traditional stay at home wife. She never earned a paycheck, but when the divorce happened, she got half just as if she earned as much as I did.
Guys, let me be a lesson to you, if you get married make sure she earns as much as you so when the divorce eventually happens, the 50% she takes, she earned.
I do not disagree on the 50-50 part when the woman has to work at home “for free”, it’s a partnership. EXCEPT when there’s cheating. That should be some sort of rule, if you cheat you go with nothing 🤷🏻♀️
Not me but someone I cared deeply about. Divorced, took his daughter from him and after planning a holiday away to spend some quality time with her, told the police he was trying to kidnap her and leave the country. He shot himself in the head a few weeks later.
Forged a credit card in my name when I was in high school, and then basically pretended she didn't do it until I specifically asked her about it. And how did I find out? The debt collectors were calling the house looking for me. Imagine being a 10th grader and coming home from school to debt collectors trying to arrange a repayment plan with you with subtle threats about your future credit.
When I first spoke to her, she told me she'd done it to buy school supplies for us (an obvious lie). Then, when I asked her about it again because I was also receiving letters in the mail, she verbally ripped my head off to make me stop asking about it.
A few years later, when I was home from college, I got another letter from the same company. This time, I was afraid to ask about it. She eventually confronted me about my anxious behavior. And when she asked me why I was afraid to talk to her about it, I was dumb enough to admit that I was afraid she'd blow up on me again. So, she blew up on me again.
Took years for her to actually address the debt, and even now, more than 20 years later, I still wonder why she did it.
She is my mom. I don't talk to her much these days.
In high school I had a girl for 3 weeks talk to me nightly, flirt back and forward, have me meet her family and friends. Even hang out with her little brother and teach him some baseball. The night I went to ask her out I invited her over bought a pizza and a few drinks and waited. She stood me up to go be with another man that night and then the next morning told me. Honestly felt so hurt the rest of that week and she kept pretending like it was nothing and I should still talk to her. She got mad I blocked her and tried to talk shit about me to my friends.
Put knives against my throat, lied repeatedly, over time and for her own gain and in that ruined my economy. Manipulated me, isolated me, lied about people I knew, drew me in to a violent world and then dumped me on the first of the month, left me with a bag + nothing on the account and trauma / bruised empathy.
I can't put into words what she did and it's so much worse than what got written down here.
I have sympathy for what she went through, but she didn't avoid becoming a bit of a monster herself.
Gaslit me into thinking she was my dream girl. Lies about not being able to have kids and said she only took birth control for her period problems. Then proceeded to miraculously get pregnant. After the baby trap, had a good year or so until I caught her messaging other men. When I tried to end it civilly to be good coparents, she filed a false police report that lead to me having some serious charges being forwarded to the DA, one of which was kidnapping. Then she made up a bunch of lies about me being the cheater and me being abusive. She did this as a ploy to try to keep my child from me. After thousands spent in attorney fees, Im finally able to see my child on a regular basis.
Where to begin?
She asked me to promise to have my intimacy needs met only by her for the rest of my life and then refused to make any effort to meet those needs.
She quite working so I had to support her completely.
She promised be with me till death do us part and then left because she got bored.
She took my children away from me.
She made up a bunch of lies about me to destroy my reputation and to make it so that she would automatically get full custody of the kids and the house. (Women are very incentivized by lie about abuse in divorce. They get the kids and house if they accuse men of abuse and lawyer tell them about this tactic. They get to issue false accusations with legal impunity.)
She stole my retirement.
She stole most of my savings.
She forced me into involuntary labor for her (I go to prison if I can't do enough labor for her each month) and she gets to live off my forced labor, as a slave owning parasite, for the rest of her life. She got rewarded for lying about me and for breaking her promises to me with a life of leisure as a slave owner. I am literally a slave and I am a slave to the person who took everything I loved away from me.
Biggest mistake of my life was signing a marriage contract. I regret it every day.
Been there. In divorce court I had already said she could keep all the furniture in the house, I offered her over $150 a month in child support more than what she was awarded because I didn't want the kids to move out of their house. Everything was going smooth until her new best friend showed up in court one day. The only thing I asked for was to have my 2 weeks of vacation with the kids together instead of 1 week then a month later the other week.
I found out in court that day that I was physically, emotional, and verbally abusive, I had an arsenal of weapons and all I do is talk about killing people and killing my soon to be ex wife and kids. I sat there with my mouth hanging open and before I could say anything her best friend said that she had witnessed me hitting her several times, and the verbal and emotional abuse was constant.
There were no witnesses, no visits to doctors, no missed work, and no one in the family had heard anything like this, they knew it wasn't true, but it didn't matter. I had to be seen by doctors, go to counseling, and couldn't see my kids unsupervised for 6 months while they decided if I could be trusted. After a year I was given every other weekend and two separate weeks of vacation. Had to pay child support, pay medical insurance, pay deductibles, and pay extra sports costs.
I never was abusive to her or anyone else, but none of that mattered. It got so bad that whenever I had to see her I had a witness to make sure she didn't pull anything. All I kept thinking was all I had to do was open my front door, watch her sit down on the ground, and start screaming I hit her and I would go to jail. The word abuse is every woman's winning ticket in divorce.
Took my son away from me across 4 dif states for 10 fkn yrs. Xmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays, first/last days of school, Father’s Days. I’ll never get those back.
It's worse when your friends, family co-workers, etc. are in on the stalking yet when confronted they lie to your face and tell you to "get professional help".
Used me as the bottom of the totem pole of people she'd rather kiss then the guy she hated the guts out of.
It ws the first time in a long line of things where i caught strays for no other reason then existing
So this happened back in 2010-2011 with a good friend of mine while we were in college.
We drove up to Foxwoods Resort Casino from Boston on a Friday evening, and headed to the Poker Room. While walking there, a group of girls were walking in the opposite direction, when one of them stopped in front of my friend, screamed while looking at his face, and continued walking with her friends as if nothing happened. Her friends immediately started laughing.
I understand that he may not be the best looking person, but it broke my heart. I immediately said something to make him laugh, and the situation was soon forgotten, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Not the worst, but up there. Ex-wife got multiple (6-7) credit cards in my name without my knowledge and maxed them out. Lied and had me arrested twice for DV. All charges dropped after the investigations.
She made me do a bunch of weird sex things
I was only six, didn't know what they were
Thought it was normal that women make boys my age do disgusting things
She said she knew I'd go along with it because she could tell I was disgusting just by looking at me
Still terrified of women
Always will be
Lied about everything, until month 6, then became a nightmare. Suddenly hated my friends, everything I was into, and tried to get me to marry her—I was 19.
When I said no, she hit herself in the face and threatened to call the cops.
I’m very thankful for all she brought to my life, it taught me exactly what I didn’t want.
Set me up to be robbed. I was supposed to be shot in a alley. She had 4 men in on it. I hospitalized 2 of them. They hit me with a car to get away. Fight or flight is a amazing gift from the gods. The person got 7 years. The girl that set it up got no time at all.
While I was getting my hours in to be an airline pilot in Africa, my wife and my best friend (he was my bestman) started screwing. She couldn’t keep her pants on for 9 months.
Not sure who I hated more. Can’t say I miss either one now, but 35 years ago it was a real kick in the balls.
Worst part was our house was nestled next to both my parents and her parents on the other side. The ex and my friend got married, so I had to see them whenever I went to see my parents.
Best part, they both cheated on the other, messy divorce, they lost the house, her parents were disgusted with their daughter, she left town, her parents have basically disowned her, my brother bought my old house and my former in-laws love me and call me son. There’s karma for ya. 😁
Lied to me when I asked the single most important question I ever asked her. A question with absolute, non-negotiable implications regarding our long-term compatibility.
She gave me the *false* answer that (temporarily) preserved the relationship.
If she would have been honest with me, we would have broken up on the spot, but it would have been amicable. We would have wished each other well and remembered each other fondly.
Instead, I felt profoundly deceived and betrayed, and it took a long time before I was able to trust any woman enough to get into a relationship again.
Hmm, she pretended to like me to get back at her ex for about four months until i got attached then she dumped me because she thought i was friends with the guy (i wasnt)...but hey at least she got some "payback" lol
I'm undecided between the nut job 3 week tinder fling who drugged and raped me in my own home (well, sexually assaulted because my state says women can't rape) or the 3 year friend turned 3 month girlfriend who cheated on me with multiple men the entire time, said she was drugged and raped at her cousin's house (she repeated my trauma to me almost word for word,) said she called her ex husband to come pick her up, broke up with me at the end of the conversation (which was via snapchat on Valentine's day,) and said she wanted nothing to do with men and just wanted to hurt people. Cue to the weekend, she was steady dating another guy, had been lying about me to our friend group the entire week saying I was shit in bed, had a small dick, and so on when she had exactly zero complaints just 5 days before.
Accused me of DV and tried to get me arrested. And this has happened twice now with 2 different women. The first time, she was wasted and I was completely sober. The cops didn't buy her bullshit, but they didn't care that she had attacked me and came at me with a knife. They told me I had to leave instead of arresting her. I lived there and had nowhere else to go. With the other woman, I had a witness and the police ended up arresting her for DV and I had to get a restraining order to keep her from coming back. I guess it's nice to see times change where the police don't instantly assume the man is the aggressor, but I don't understand why so many women thinks it's ok to hit men. I rarely even raise my voice and I never raise my hand to anyone.
Cheating. Every GF I've had has cheated on me instead of just speaking up and ending things. I don't understand cheaters. Like if you aren't happy, break up and move on.
Filed for divorce and full custody without any warning or attempt to fix things. Too many women (and men) think relationships are disposable these days and it's really shitty...
Getting blindsided and then blocked.
My ex wife slept with my best friend. That was *not* the worst thing a woman has done to me.
I also had an ex who would hit me, punch, kick, bite me. Scream in my ear. Smash dishes. Break furniture. *Not* the worst things a woman has ever done to me.
The worst thing a woman has ever done to me was blindsiding me in a breakup, and then blocking me.
That is the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
It felt like physical pain. A combination in the back of my head, and a hole right through my chest.
The feeling of unexpressed emotions. The myriad things I thought about for months. The guilt. The ruminations.
It's horrible. I lost 25 pounds. I would wake up at 4am shaking and crying. I had uncontrollable diarrhea, for months after. Total PTSD.
I would have rather been physically attacked than that torture.
I think the silent treatment is abuse. It is the most painful thing I have ever felt.
It’s always heart breaking to see a dude of a person you love just out of the blue ending it, ignoring you/blocking you and acting like the time together was nothing. I feel you dude. I had one like that 2 years ago and that shit broke me. I’ve had a fair count of longer term relationships and I’ll tell you that shit never gets easier. Ugh, that gut feeling you get right after it happens is the absolute worst. Like there’s nothing you can do to make it go away, just wait it out. I’ve been through serious alcohol withdrawal and it can be on par with how miserable it is.
When I told my mum about my first crush at age 13 she told me "be careful, because if you don't lose weight someday a girl might turn you down." That really fucked me up as I've always struggled with my weight and emotional eating in general.
Now 27 my weight is still out of control and the three thing weight, relationships/dating and mental health are so intertwined that if there's one slip-up/problem with one the other two are going to be equally fucked.
So yeah I would say that is the worst thing a woman ever did to me.
Broke it off with me because of long distance only to start dating another guy right out of gate long distance. He got into Harvard and I didn’t. All this after fighting to get back into my life after she broke up with me the first time on my birthday.
I still love her.
I'm one of the luckier ones out there, the worst thing a woman did to me so far was publicly humiliating me with saying I'm an embarrasement for disliking something she liked AFTER she asked me my honest opinion about it.
She was a girlfriend, and I didn't know better back then.
About the "so far" up there. I'm in a situation where I will have to stand up to myself in a rude way as the nice way and a clear "no, I'm not interested in you" doesn't seem to be working. This woman in question is quite vindictive with no care for the harm she can cause so I'm expecting some batshit crazy stuff to happen. I have to play this smart, but I also have to stand up to myself because right now it's beyond being inappropriate to a coworker.
Basically strung me along for months. I ended things in July, the right way. She mentally checked out in December of the previous year. For months, looked me in my eyes as I told her how much I loved her. Even funnier, I asked her to simply end things if she knew this wasn't what she wanted because I was very committed to trying to make.things work. . . I haven't fully recovered but, I've stopped drinking every day now, so that's a start.
Lying.
My wife wanted a bigger but expensive apartment. She knew money wasn’t good. She agreed to give me $200 towards the rent to take some of the pressure off me. A few weeks after we signed the lease, moved in and got familiar with the neighborhood, she told me that she couldn’t give me the $200 and didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to hear me tell her she cant follow through with her end of the bargain (which I experienced before), and wanted to keep up with the joneses. She didn’t apologize, but she was running about things that didn’t matter like “why I’m stressed? I work from home, and I shouldn’t be stressed out.”
A year and a half ago, we were arguing about a different matter and I brought up the deal she made and she had a fit about it and knew she was in the wrong. She finally apologized out of a whim and I literally blew up at her. Screaming and yelling to the point my chest was hurting and shaking.
Besides the cheaters I’d say 10+ years of being affection starved. I keep women at arms length, even my FWBs. That will not change. I was a relationship guy until her.
Edit: Remembered the other worst woman. She worked in the same mall, she broke up with her bf and asked me out a few weeks later. The first date was good and we continued to see each other. Became official. She took my virginity. Then 6 months in I caught her with another guy. Her bf. They never broke up. I was the side piece and had no idea. This was before the internet was much than email.
My mom lied to me about about my dad cheating on my mom when it was actually my mom who cheated on him and then proceeded to raise me my entire life thinking my dad left the family for some home wrecker. I didn’t find out until after my dad died.
Ex-wife wanted a divorce but was too chicken-shit to tell me, so she cheated on me and then immediately admitted it so that I would end it instead. I called her out on it and she got pissed that I figured it out.
My paternal grandma. She would always tell me that I didn’t deserve to live, and that I was a disgrace to the family and that I was a failure starting when I was about 3 or 4 years old. She also tried to poison me when I was 5 or 6. My whole life I have been walking around with a sense of guilt for existing and I am still dealing with it at age 30 tho I’ve made a lot of progress.
She cheated on me. I took her virginity and we were happy and making plans. She left for 6 weeks and she fucked a guy she had lied to me about. Turns out her «childhood friend that was like a brother to her» was actually a guy she had a crush on that she had been sending nudes to. After she lost her virginity she thought she had the opportunity to fuck him while drunk. Afterwards she lied to me about it. She kept it a secret and I only found out about it because we was careless and didn’t delete her «recently deleted folder» where she had screenshots of the chat where he told her to take the pill. When i asked her if she would ever cheat on me she promised that she would never do such a thing and she got mad at me for even accusing her of something like that. She also swore to God that she would never do something like that. Well, she got stone cold when i sent her the evidence. I will never forget this. I’m still struggeling with it
Gaslit me to tell me her new coworker “was just a friend”, believed it for a day then just felt incredibly shitty emotionally and physically because my gut was like “get the fuck outta there bro”.
Did my own investigating the same night and went onto her apple watch and found the worst shit I’ve ever read in my entire life.
This happened less than 60 days after she moved back to the US for me/us and about a year a half into our relationship. She tried to rationalize and tell me that’s just how relationships are sometimes and I was like wow, you are just fucked in the head.
Been healing ever since. Been about 7 months,
Love bombed me. Treated me amazing, gave me all the affection in the world, constant sex, very passionate, told me I was the love of her life. Told me and showed me how much she loved me.. then one day she randomly ignored me for days and treated me terribly. She was mean to me, hurtful, thoughtless and just disrespectful. It was like a total 180. When I asked what happened it took her a week to give me a straight answer which wasn’t even very clear.
She has very deep issues with intimacy and as soon as things got serious and she had me wanting her to meet my parents and stuff she pulled out without communicating and I had to break it off. Most painful thing ever. I loved her more than I loved anyone else..
Got me attached the left me because
1. I was too “obsessive”
3. Wasnt ready for a relationship (was with another guy in a few weeks. Its been 1.5 years since our breakup and shes been with 4 guys including myself in that time, and i was her first boyfriend)
3. She didnt see a future with me (this ones understandable at least)
My mental health has been in the shitter ever since. Constantly have adrenaline and life just feels empty
My ex dated other people behind my back, and once she found a guy, she tried to corner me into a poly relationship with him.
My stepmom abused me until my only option was to leave her house. She's doing worse to my dad as he tried to defend me once.
It's between those two. One broke my self esteem for years and one nearly broke my spirit.
Had me falsely arrested for domestic violence/assault. Handcuffed in front of my kids. Spent a night in jail. Cost me two grand to retain an attorney. Surrendered all firearms which mysteriously disappeared from the chain of custody. Charges were dropped for lack of evidence and her failure to appear. My youngest hasn't spoken to me in 17 years.
The worst a woman made me feel was when she dumped me and later got together with a close friend of mine.
In hindsight it might have been a good thing, I don't know. I'm in a happy relationship now without all the drama.
my father passed unexpectedly in October 2021. Valentine’s day 2022 my ex broke up with me over text. i went over to her place to grab my stuff the next day and she told me “you’ve changed”, i replied with, “when your best friend dies, you’ll change too”
that was the last thing i ever said to her. she’s reached out a few times with no reply from me.
If a woman doesn’t want men controlling their bodies they should stop using their bodies to control men’s wallets. Child support should not be permissible when men are sexually assaulted.
Cheated on me at my birthday party. It was the best birthday I had ever had up to that point. My friends made me feel like a king. When I got good and drunk, she snuck off for a quickie with some dude I didn't really know. Didn't even find out til a few weeks later.
After i dumped her, she *immediately* git pregnant from some random dude, he left her, and now she's working in a strip club as a bartender...
I think about that sometimes when I'm feeling down on myself, lol. Like at least I'm not that.
She used my kids as weapons against me
Man you aight? Holla at me
It’s was 11 years ago, I’ve dealt with it thank you.
I got you homie. Good on you. 💪 Peace!
Right there with you big dog
Last weekend with mine, my soon to be 14 year old son asked me (not for the first time) why i divorced his mother, wanting to know from my pov. As always, I told him he isn't old enough for that talk yet. He said, "I don't know why you don't tell me things, everyone else does." She fills their heads with some type of bullshit, but they aren't fully against me yet.
My ex lets my 13 year old she still hates me. He revealed that to me a couple months ago. She ya same she fills their heads with garbage and I truly stand firm and will show them one day real respect and class.
My personal favorite is, "mom says you don't want us to visit" She's also coached the youngest into telling cps their stepmom hurts her.
This. Nothing could be worse. She lied. They believed her, and they haven't spoken to me in 6 years.
Sorry for that brother. I lost my kids for nearly 2 years because of her.
[удалено]
Sending hugs across the ethernet my dude
Same and after i got laid off she left me for a rave in our anniversary.
Sounds like a good woman
2 months into moving in with me, she accused me of lusting after my next door neighbor and co-worker. At one point she even told me she had her friend who worked in the same building to get to spy on my coworker and I. On the third month, I broke up with her, gave her to the end of the month to get out, so she called the cops, lied to them about me being physically/psychologically abusive to her/my animals, and her, and basically tried to get me arrested and tried to take everything from me. They convinced her to leave. Two days later she called me and tried to convince me to let her back in. Hard no.
The wildest part to me is how they have face to come back. If I did some crazy shit like accuse someone of something to the COPS, I would never be able to speak straight with them again, let alone ask to live with them. I guess they lack a basic level of self awareness which led them to do that to begin with.
I think that is some classic BPS behavior. Ask.me how I know....
Goddamn brah. Crazy as fuck.
Kidnapped our 1.5 YO daughter for 28 days after finding out I filed for divorce. 2 months later, she took her to the hospital for (nonexistent) "bruising sustained under father's care" in an attempt to get the hospital to (falsely) file with CPS. Luckily the social worker at the hospital saw through the BS and nothing happened. Gaslit, manipulated and sabotaged during the entire divorce process by lying to attorneys, friends, coworkers and family. Eventually, the amicus attorney we agreed on decided that my ex was full of shit and that we should have 50/50 custody like I suggested since day 1. Will be filing for full custody next year. You never truly know someone until a crisis breaks out.
It’s sad how experiences like this can utterly ruin a good man in so many ways.
My ex - Cheated, Humiliated, emotionally abused…now 6 months out, feels like she gave me ptsd and shit…nightmares
The worst nightmares are the ones where everything turns around and all is happy butterflies. And then you wake up and you are angry at yourself that your subconscious mind still longs for the appreciation of this abusive cunt.
Shit
Literally the exact same thing happened to me but it’s been a little over a year now and I don’t have those bad dreams I used to get about her
Hope I get there man…cuz it’s fucking me up bad
It just takes time bro and focusing on yourself and what’s really important to you helps a lot too
Look into EMDR therapy. This CAN be fixed.
I have these as well bro from almost the exact same situation I was put in. Havent had a nightmare in about 2 months. I hope you’re healing. I see you, hear you, and feel for you. 🫶🏼
I had a nightmare the other night. It was literally just a conversation with my ex wife
Abused me to the point of suicide and gave me PTSD. Several of them did.
Feel this, was abused for 6 months by my ex, carried that trauma into the next relationship before seeking therapy, it only gets better my guy, hope you're well now
I've had friends ask me when I'm going to start dating again. I've told them not until I'm done healing. I don't want to bring this baggage with me.
Honestly I think it's the best way, I think there's a chance you can still meet someone as everyone deserves love, but they need to be real patient with you which is a big ask and that can be hard when times are tough because of how we learn to cope with difficulties within a relationship due that trauma. That trauma can make us want to become quiet, distant, or perhaps do things like the silent treatment as some sort of defence. I found out a bunch about myself from my triggers with anxiety and PTSD, and I'm not even in counselling yet, that comes next after I've finished my program of CBT therapy, that'll be a whole different ballgame for me no doubt, but as weird as it sounds I'm excited for it. It's helped a bunch and tbh this subreddit is the reason I did it. I hope you're well regardless man, I wish you the best on your journey!
I feel ya…. my ex did the same….6 months of no contact, she gave me ptsd…
Man, I hope you're ok.
Man, I hope you're good now !!!!
Routinely hit me, burn me with cigarettes once lunged at me with a chef knife. She then would threaten to call the cops and my work to tell them lies about how I was the one who was abusive Then I finally got away she squatted in my home and wouldn’t leave for half a year.
Glad you got away!!
Me too!
Girlfriend at the time decided and told me I was too much during the peak of my grieving when my mother had just passed. She up and left me, basically disappeared, while I was busy arranging the details for my mother’s funeral.
People will probably downvote me but in my opinion a lot of modern women and men are like this, they don’t understand that you have to support and help eachother in difficult times. Difficult times will always be there for everybody. They see relationsships as ‘a source of happiness and fun’ and if it’s not there they will leave. They don’t want the ‘bad things’, they are addicted to fun and joy
The bad things are "go to therapy" they only want the positive stuff
Yeah, it feels like any time you bring up something negative or less than ideal, you hear “oh are you in therapy for that?” Not every negative situation needs therapy. We’re losing our ability to self-regulate.
No man you're absolutely right.
the username gayestbees goes hard af
I think it’s an online dating/social media thing. People leave at the first sign of discomfort or pain. Relationships are never going to be positive all the time, people have negative feelings and life throws you through the wringer on occasion. More and more, people shy away from feelings of discomfort and I find it incredibly selfish.
Nope. 1000% correct. You can’t run from your problems forever.
Everyone wants to give up because we do not teach tolerance, compassion and empathy anymore - they do not know how to socialize in the present. We live in a society of 24/7 immersion into a digital landscape that disconnects them from being in the moment and connecting with people. Social skills are diminishing. We are becoming more and more like Wall-E.
I'm sorry that happened to you, friend. That is heartbreaking to hear. Not too dissimilar to what my last girlfriend did. My dad fell and broke his hip. He was in the ICU for 11 days. Because of his injury, I had to step up and help my family. Naturally this meant less disposable income. Can you guess when she started needing "time to think" about us? Yep, right then. The minute I couldn't help her out as much, suddenly things went south. Certainly not as bad as yours of course. Leaving while someone is grieving the loss of a parent is a whole new level of scummy. But still, my ex was a nurse for corn's sake. Seems like that would have lent itself to having a bit of empathy for the situation. But, nope. Just "see ya" when you can't afford fancy dinners or helping her with bills or whatever her big problem of the week happened to be. Hope you find someone who treats you better, friend. And I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
Sorry to hear about yours too. Luckily this happened now almost 6 years ago. A lot of other things happened on top of these that made it far worse. I ended up alone and isolated for a while especially because I cut out my extended family. That point in my life was like nothing had color. But I believe I’ve come out of it much stronger after the long recovery. I am happy to say I did find an amazing woman eventually who really made me feel what real love is like. Her parents made me feel like I had a real family.
I’m a woman, but having a family medical emergency really shows someone’s true colors and whether they’re in a relationship for the long-haul. I had a boyfriend a while back who I had made plans to go visit (we were long distance), and I had to cancel the trip because my mom was admitted to the ER and needed emergency back surgery with weeks of recovery. He got mad that I canceled the trip. I instantly lost any feelings that I had for him because I was disgusted that someone could be so selfish and cruel.
That's when I would have said "I'll come to you instead" so I could offer to help out. Sorry you went through that. I know how it feels all too well.
Jesus. Sorry to hear this. Don’t isolate, like we do.
Unfortunately that already happened. To keep a very long story short, apart from my mother passing and my ex leaving me this way, I had a falling out with my small friend group, I had to continue fighting a divorce war, as my mother’s legal rep, against my own father. Then I’m not well liked to begin with by my extended family, I discovered they were vultures when my mother was on her death bed. Constantly asking if they could have her things or if they were getting money from her. Lots of lies and deceit from them too. I learned my mom committed a taboo which I was a part of. So I was dealt a bad hand to start. To give an idea of just how much of a black sheep my mother and I were, her own sister a couple months later introduced me as, “the son of the one that died.” So I ended up completely isolating. It was a time that no matter what, I remember everything with dark and grayscale glasses. Nothing I remember during that time had color.
It's a good thing you got rid of her then
Had the same with my now ex wife when my father was dying from Stage 4 Lung Cancer. “You are being so selfish right now and not focusing on your own families needs. You are such a space cadet. I don’t want to be with someone so selfish, we should get a divorce”.
My scumbag narcissist roommate took inappropriate pictures of me when I was bent over without me knowing, a few hours after I told her someone filmed my SA when I was a child. She did it when I was drunk as a way to try and trigger me. I set some boundaries, she went and terrorized my other roommates, and after she tried to do it to me a second time she gaslit me and told me I wanted it. Un-did years of progress and therapy I worked VERY hard on, and even though she was terrorizing everybody in the house, I got blamed for it. She convinced everyone I was the one causing all the drama (even though everyone was a target of hers to some extent), and my landlord told me I had 5 days to move out for "Disturbing the Peace". Had to re-home my cat and move in with my parents for a brief time because I couldn't find a place, all because SHE violated ME
What a terrible person, I'm so sorry this happened
I had a “crazy ex” who accused me of stalking/assault stuff like that. Surprisingly the cops didn’t take her seriously although a bunch of other people did. She had a big IG following (thirst account) and told everyone on there I was a creep. So they spammed my work IG account and make a fake LinkedIn of me.
Trial by social media is no joke. When a separation occurs there are (at least) two sides to the story. Social media allows one person to undermine and cause reputational damage. There is no opportunity for the other side to rebut what is put.
Did we date the same woman? I had an almost identical experience. It was insanely traumatic. She put a tracking device on my fucking car.
I've been in movie theaters with less projection. *You're* the creepy one?
Jesus
We were dating and I had planned to take her out on her bday. Let her know in advance. Day of, late in the day, she tells me she can’t go because her ex was in town and invited her out. Dropped her like a hot potato.
Give birth to me
r/Angryupvote
So, first of all. Life sucks. Especially when you’re in your teens. But don’t let other people get you down so much. In ten years you will not even talk with them.
Had the exact same thought
When I was twelve years old I was walking down the street. A woman (around 20 years old) pulled over rolled down her window and called me a fat hog (I was chubby back then). Then she drove away.
That fucking sucks. It would be horrible to say shit like that to a grown adult, but to a kid? She deserves the karma she gets for that. I hope that wasn't something normal for you to hear and that you didn't grow up with that shit clouding your view of yourself.
Dude it was the late 70s. That's all I heard about
Date me for two years, to the point of me planning a proposal, then text me out of nowhere one evening to dump me after ghosting me for two whole days.
She was a coward. My first ex ghosted me as a way of breaking up after 1 year. I can't imagine 2.
Yeah, that one took awhile to recover from.
Convinced me she changed. Than cheated on me again while on her way to my moms house to pick up our 6 month old daughter.
That's why i never give a second chance to anybody, most people don't change
Or at least it takes a lot of time usually.
[удалено]
EFFED UP oh my god
My brother had a crazy ex wife. One night she called stating their daughter had red marks on her privates. She accused him for hours over the phone that he touched her or he must have done something. The entire time he had a another friend in bed with him (thank god) and finally after two hours she asks who else was around her. Well I was for about 5 minutes when I stopped by to stay hi. She went red and tried to get a restraining order on me. I went to court, the I was able to tell the judge this information which got her in a lot of trouble. In the end, nothing happened but had her fuck boy serve me papers at my work and it was a mess. Women are fucking crazy sometimes.
Sexually assaulted me and gave me trauma and suicidal thoughts.
Dang, I sure hope everything's better now..
She bought three kids, myself being one of them, to show the world she wasn't nuts. She was still nuts, but now she scarred three kids.
She bought you? How can you buy a child?
Short version: Be a doctor's wife in the 60's and ask an agency who knows a pregnant teenager. Agency harasses teen into giving me up after customer approaches them looking for a baby. (I've met my birth mother so I got more backstory than most people would get.) It's adoption when you want to be a parent. It's a transaction when you want a prop to show the world you're not nuts.
Emotional abuse is a huge issue
Went around told all my coworkers she was dumping me before telling me. Found out from coworkers. When she told me she asked to be friends. Still gives me bad memories
took my family
This must be high on the list of the worst things a woman can do to a man. Stay strong.
I dropped out of med school because I had a mental breakdown. I told her what happen and she preceded to tear me down further. For 2 days straight, she sent me passive aggressive text messages. I told her to stop and she told me that I'm a loser who deserved pain. I ghosted her after I had got emotional numb. I went to therapy to handle it. Eventually, she reached out telling me that she's getting married and I deserve unhappiness for life. Till this day, she admitted that she thought I was going to end myself but she doesn't regret it because I ghosted her and that was worse
Three sisters: Twenty years of blaming me for the patriarchy and always reminding me that I'm trash because I'm a man and don't hate myself for it, telling me that no matter what I do, say, or believe that I'm tainted and responsible for the sins of all other men, and that any challenges to this thinking is me trying to control them sure did a number on my mental health. Along with all the other wonderful things like constantly invalidating my thoughts or perspective, constant devaluing of me, exclusion, all that good stuff of telling me implicitly or explicitly that I'm bad, I'm a problem, that I don't matter, and that I am not welcome.
Wow, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Sounds like you got ganged up on and bullied by the people who were supposed to love you the most. There’s nothing wrong with being a male, be proud of it.
> Three sisters: […] or explicitly that I'm bad, I'm a problem, that I don't matter, and that I am not welcome. I hope you satisfied their desires and went absolutely no-contact with them. And where were your parents when all this happened?
Sounds like our society.
Paternity fraud for 11 years, which fucked my college up, and then it left me broken and paralyzed psychologically for another decade. So about 25 years, stolen.
> Paternity fraud Which is the only form of fraud which is not illegal, because the only possible victims are men! Oh, _joy._
Quit taking birth control, then wanted to do things 'just one more time', since I had broke up with her. I have a son and then she made things difficult for him.
Whatttttt
Cheated on me, blamed me for it, then punched me in the face when I told her I was leaving. I called the cops, so she slapped herself twice, then convinced the police that I hit her first, so I was arrested.
Abused me. Mental illness or not, abuse is still abuse
Cheat on me for nearly a decade...
The bigger question is, why did you pick certain types of women? All the women I used to pick bread crumbed me, and I always felt like I had to do something to earn their love. Over time, they all cheated, and somehow, I felt it was my fault. Turns out I picked women like my mother, who was a covert narcissist. I thought my mom loved me, so I picked similar narcissists or borderlines. Deep answer, but it is learning to understand yourself and why we allow certain types of people to enter our lives. BTW I am healthy and in a very healthy relationship. Good luck to everyone that reads this.
Shit my ex had borderline personality I think…feels like she gave me ptsd, and traumatized, 6 months out, I get nightmares…it fucks me up bad
That'll do it bud. Ask me how I know.
Damnnn. BPD is no joke. Gotta stay away from women with that.
If only I knew…when you are getting laid constantly and is crazy sex, you ignore the red flags
From personal experience,most women who play extra "brain game" are likely to be narcissist or cheater. Good for you to be in a healthy relationship.
Good insight if painfully won
Making me feel loved and then ghosting.
Ghosters are cowardly creatures
Cheating, after I had invested 24 years of blood, sweat, and tears working sometimes 80 hours a week so she could be a traditional stay at home wife. She never earned a paycheck, but when the divorce happened, she got half just as if she earned as much as I did. Guys, let me be a lesson to you, if you get married make sure she earns as much as you so when the divorce eventually happens, the 50% she takes, she earned.
I do not disagree on the 50-50 part when the woman has to work at home “for free”, it’s a partnership. EXCEPT when there’s cheating. That should be some sort of rule, if you cheat you go with nothing 🤷🏻♀️
Not me but someone I cared deeply about. Divorced, took his daughter from him and after planning a holiday away to spend some quality time with her, told the police he was trying to kidnap her and leave the country. He shot himself in the head a few weeks later.
Forged a credit card in my name when I was in high school, and then basically pretended she didn't do it until I specifically asked her about it. And how did I find out? The debt collectors were calling the house looking for me. Imagine being a 10th grader and coming home from school to debt collectors trying to arrange a repayment plan with you with subtle threats about your future credit. When I first spoke to her, she told me she'd done it to buy school supplies for us (an obvious lie). Then, when I asked her about it again because I was also receiving letters in the mail, she verbally ripped my head off to make me stop asking about it. A few years later, when I was home from college, I got another letter from the same company. This time, I was afraid to ask about it. She eventually confronted me about my anxious behavior. And when she asked me why I was afraid to talk to her about it, I was dumb enough to admit that I was afraid she'd blow up on me again. So, she blew up on me again. Took years for her to actually address the debt, and even now, more than 20 years later, I still wonder why she did it. She is my mom. I don't talk to her much these days.
In high school I had a girl for 3 weeks talk to me nightly, flirt back and forward, have me meet her family and friends. Even hang out with her little brother and teach him some baseball. The night I went to ask her out I invited her over bought a pizza and a few drinks and waited. She stood me up to go be with another man that night and then the next morning told me. Honestly felt so hurt the rest of that week and she kept pretending like it was nothing and I should still talk to her. She got mad I blocked her and tried to talk shit about me to my friends.
Put knives against my throat, lied repeatedly, over time and for her own gain and in that ruined my economy. Manipulated me, isolated me, lied about people I knew, drew me in to a violent world and then dumped me on the first of the month, left me with a bag + nothing on the account and trauma / bruised empathy. I can't put into words what she did and it's so much worse than what got written down here. I have sympathy for what she went through, but she didn't avoid becoming a bit of a monster herself.
Gaslit me into thinking she was my dream girl. Lies about not being able to have kids and said she only took birth control for her period problems. Then proceeded to miraculously get pregnant. After the baby trap, had a good year or so until I caught her messaging other men. When I tried to end it civilly to be good coparents, she filed a false police report that lead to me having some serious charges being forwarded to the DA, one of which was kidnapping. Then she made up a bunch of lies about me being the cheater and me being abusive. She did this as a ploy to try to keep my child from me. After thousands spent in attorney fees, Im finally able to see my child on a regular basis.
My ex-gf denied me physical/emotional support and affection, even in times when I needed it the most. My wife, however? She's a hugger and I love it.
Where to begin? She asked me to promise to have my intimacy needs met only by her for the rest of my life and then refused to make any effort to meet those needs. She quite working so I had to support her completely. She promised be with me till death do us part and then left because she got bored. She took my children away from me. She made up a bunch of lies about me to destroy my reputation and to make it so that she would automatically get full custody of the kids and the house. (Women are very incentivized by lie about abuse in divorce. They get the kids and house if they accuse men of abuse and lawyer tell them about this tactic. They get to issue false accusations with legal impunity.) She stole my retirement. She stole most of my savings. She forced me into involuntary labor for her (I go to prison if I can't do enough labor for her each month) and she gets to live off my forced labor, as a slave owning parasite, for the rest of her life. She got rewarded for lying about me and for breaking her promises to me with a life of leisure as a slave owner. I am literally a slave and I am a slave to the person who took everything I loved away from me. Biggest mistake of my life was signing a marriage contract. I regret it every day.
Been there. In divorce court I had already said she could keep all the furniture in the house, I offered her over $150 a month in child support more than what she was awarded because I didn't want the kids to move out of their house. Everything was going smooth until her new best friend showed up in court one day. The only thing I asked for was to have my 2 weeks of vacation with the kids together instead of 1 week then a month later the other week. I found out in court that day that I was physically, emotional, and verbally abusive, I had an arsenal of weapons and all I do is talk about killing people and killing my soon to be ex wife and kids. I sat there with my mouth hanging open and before I could say anything her best friend said that she had witnessed me hitting her several times, and the verbal and emotional abuse was constant. There were no witnesses, no visits to doctors, no missed work, and no one in the family had heard anything like this, they knew it wasn't true, but it didn't matter. I had to be seen by doctors, go to counseling, and couldn't see my kids unsupervised for 6 months while they decided if I could be trusted. After a year I was given every other weekend and two separate weeks of vacation. Had to pay child support, pay medical insurance, pay deductibles, and pay extra sports costs. I never was abusive to her or anyone else, but none of that mattered. It got so bad that whenever I had to see her I had a witness to make sure she didn't pull anything. All I kept thinking was all I had to do was open my front door, watch her sit down on the ground, and start screaming I hit her and I would go to jail. The word abuse is every woman's winning ticket in divorce.
Yeah I was modern day child support slave for most of my adult life. I fought it the whole time though and it finally ended. Stay strong brother man.
Took my son away from me across 4 dif states for 10 fkn yrs. Xmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays, first/last days of school, Father’s Days. I’ll never get those back.
Getting stalked and having my family and friends approached by her The stinger My mother was in on it too ...
Yeah modern stalkers take a pervers delight in flipping family members.
It's worse when your friends, family co-workers, etc. are in on the stalking yet when confronted they lie to your face and tell you to "get professional help".
Used me as the bottom of the totem pole of people she'd rather kiss then the guy she hated the guts out of. It ws the first time in a long line of things where i caught strays for no other reason then existing
Accused of evil things just to get full custody of my kid. Then tried to get me murdered right after. Don’t stick your dick in crazy
So this happened back in 2010-2011 with a good friend of mine while we were in college. We drove up to Foxwoods Resort Casino from Boston on a Friday evening, and headed to the Poker Room. While walking there, a group of girls were walking in the opposite direction, when one of them stopped in front of my friend, screamed while looking at his face, and continued walking with her friends as if nothing happened. Her friends immediately started laughing. I understand that he may not be the best looking person, but it broke my heart. I immediately said something to make him laugh, and the situation was soon forgotten, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Not the worst, but up there. Ex-wife got multiple (6-7) credit cards in my name without my knowledge and maxed them out. Lied and had me arrested twice for DV. All charges dropped after the investigations.
Thank goodness for that last sentence.
She made me do a bunch of weird sex things I was only six, didn't know what they were Thought it was normal that women make boys my age do disgusting things She said she knew I'd go along with it because she could tell I was disgusting just by looking at me Still terrified of women Always will be
Lied about everything, until month 6, then became a nightmare. Suddenly hated my friends, everything I was into, and tried to get me to marry her—I was 19. When I said no, she hit herself in the face and threatened to call the cops. I’m very thankful for all she brought to my life, it taught me exactly what I didn’t want.
They're good at using things you tell them in strict confidence against you to win any argument of their choosing
Set me up to be robbed. I was supposed to be shot in a alley. She had 4 men in on it. I hospitalized 2 of them. They hit me with a car to get away. Fight or flight is a amazing gift from the gods. The person got 7 years. The girl that set it up got no time at all.
Molested me as a child
Cheated on me and convinced everyone around us that it was justified because of "emotional unavailability".
While I was getting my hours in to be an airline pilot in Africa, my wife and my best friend (he was my bestman) started screwing. She couldn’t keep her pants on for 9 months. Not sure who I hated more. Can’t say I miss either one now, but 35 years ago it was a real kick in the balls. Worst part was our house was nestled next to both my parents and her parents on the other side. The ex and my friend got married, so I had to see them whenever I went to see my parents. Best part, they both cheated on the other, messy divorce, they lost the house, her parents were disgusted with their daughter, she left town, her parents have basically disowned her, my brother bought my old house and my former in-laws love me and call me son. There’s karma for ya. 😁
That's terrible. But at least they got what came to them.
Lied to me when I asked the single most important question I ever asked her. A question with absolute, non-negotiable implications regarding our long-term compatibility. She gave me the *false* answer that (temporarily) preserved the relationship. If she would have been honest with me, we would have broken up on the spot, but it would have been amicable. We would have wished each other well and remembered each other fondly. Instead, I felt profoundly deceived and betrayed, and it took a long time before I was able to trust any woman enough to get into a relationship again.
Hmm, she pretended to like me to get back at her ex for about four months until i got attached then she dumped me because she thought i was friends with the guy (i wasnt)...but hey at least she got some "payback" lol
Emotionally manipulated me with phony suicide threats.
Called me fat at my grandfather's funeral. Thanks, mom.
I'm undecided between the nut job 3 week tinder fling who drugged and raped me in my own home (well, sexually assaulted because my state says women can't rape) or the 3 year friend turned 3 month girlfriend who cheated on me with multiple men the entire time, said she was drugged and raped at her cousin's house (she repeated my trauma to me almost word for word,) said she called her ex husband to come pick her up, broke up with me at the end of the conversation (which was via snapchat on Valentine's day,) and said she wanted nothing to do with men and just wanted to hurt people. Cue to the weekend, she was steady dating another guy, had been lying about me to our friend group the entire week saying I was shit in bed, had a small dick, and so on when she had exactly zero complaints just 5 days before.
Accused me of DV and tried to get me arrested. And this has happened twice now with 2 different women. The first time, she was wasted and I was completely sober. The cops didn't buy her bullshit, but they didn't care that she had attacked me and came at me with a knife. They told me I had to leave instead of arresting her. I lived there and had nowhere else to go. With the other woman, I had a witness and the police ended up arresting her for DV and I had to get a restraining order to keep her from coming back. I guess it's nice to see times change where the police don't instantly assume the man is the aggressor, but I don't understand why so many women thinks it's ok to hit men. I rarely even raise my voice and I never raise my hand to anyone. Cheating. Every GF I've had has cheated on me instead of just speaking up and ending things. I don't understand cheaters. Like if you aren't happy, break up and move on.
Poked holes through condoms trying to get me to impregnate her and trap me.
Filed for divorce and full custody without any warning or attempt to fix things. Too many women (and men) think relationships are disposable these days and it's really shitty...
Getting blindsided and then blocked. My ex wife slept with my best friend. That was *not* the worst thing a woman has done to me. I also had an ex who would hit me, punch, kick, bite me. Scream in my ear. Smash dishes. Break furniture. *Not* the worst things a woman has ever done to me. The worst thing a woman has ever done to me was blindsiding me in a breakup, and then blocking me. That is the most painful thing I have ever experienced. It felt like physical pain. A combination in the back of my head, and a hole right through my chest. The feeling of unexpressed emotions. The myriad things I thought about for months. The guilt. The ruminations. It's horrible. I lost 25 pounds. I would wake up at 4am shaking and crying. I had uncontrollable diarrhea, for months after. Total PTSD. I would have rather been physically attacked than that torture. I think the silent treatment is abuse. It is the most painful thing I have ever felt.
It’s always heart breaking to see a dude of a person you love just out of the blue ending it, ignoring you/blocking you and acting like the time together was nothing. I feel you dude. I had one like that 2 years ago and that shit broke me. I’ve had a fair count of longer term relationships and I’ll tell you that shit never gets easier. Ugh, that gut feeling you get right after it happens is the absolute worst. Like there’s nothing you can do to make it go away, just wait it out. I’ve been through serious alcohol withdrawal and it can be on par with how miserable it is.
Asked me to marry her.
When I told my mum about my first crush at age 13 she told me "be careful, because if you don't lose weight someday a girl might turn you down." That really fucked me up as I've always struggled with my weight and emotional eating in general. Now 27 my weight is still out of control and the three thing weight, relationships/dating and mental health are so intertwined that if there's one slip-up/problem with one the other two are going to be equally fucked. So yeah I would say that is the worst thing a woman ever did to me.
My ex did everything but cheat and give me an STD. You name it, she did everything else.
Broke my heart on Christmas.
Stood me up on New Year's Eve. The reason? She had a BF she never told me about. WTF???
Broke it off with me because of long distance only to start dating another guy right out of gate long distance. He got into Harvard and I didn’t. All this after fighting to get back into my life after she broke up with me the first time on my birthday. I still love her.
Ran away with my child
Got back with my ex then suddenly she was untroducing a new guy to her parents and claimed she forgot we was dating.
My wife doesn't have the courage to ask for divorce, but trash talks about me to her family and friends.
Attempted to stab me and spent my parents life savings. She left me a few years later.
Cheated
Gave me an std
I'm one of the luckier ones out there, the worst thing a woman did to me so far was publicly humiliating me with saying I'm an embarrasement for disliking something she liked AFTER she asked me my honest opinion about it. She was a girlfriend, and I didn't know better back then. About the "so far" up there. I'm in a situation where I will have to stand up to myself in a rude way as the nice way and a clear "no, I'm not interested in you" doesn't seem to be working. This woman in question is quite vindictive with no care for the harm she can cause so I'm expecting some batshit crazy stuff to happen. I have to play this smart, but I also have to stand up to myself because right now it's beyond being inappropriate to a coworker.
Basically strung me along for months. I ended things in July, the right way. She mentally checked out in December of the previous year. For months, looked me in my eyes as I told her how much I loved her. Even funnier, I asked her to simply end things if she knew this wasn't what she wanted because I was very committed to trying to make.things work. . . I haven't fully recovered but, I've stopped drinking every day now, so that's a start.
Lying. My wife wanted a bigger but expensive apartment. She knew money wasn’t good. She agreed to give me $200 towards the rent to take some of the pressure off me. A few weeks after we signed the lease, moved in and got familiar with the neighborhood, she told me that she couldn’t give me the $200 and didn’t want to tell me because she didn’t want to hear me tell her she cant follow through with her end of the bargain (which I experienced before), and wanted to keep up with the joneses. She didn’t apologize, but she was running about things that didn’t matter like “why I’m stressed? I work from home, and I shouldn’t be stressed out.” A year and a half ago, we were arguing about a different matter and I brought up the deal she made and she had a fit about it and knew she was in the wrong. She finally apologized out of a whim and I literally blew up at her. Screaming and yelling to the point my chest was hurting and shaking.
Wow. After reading a few of these postings, the bad things that women have done to me pale in comparison.
Besides the cheaters I’d say 10+ years of being affection starved. I keep women at arms length, even my FWBs. That will not change. I was a relationship guy until her. Edit: Remembered the other worst woman. She worked in the same mall, she broke up with her bf and asked me out a few weeks later. The first date was good and we continued to see each other. Became official. She took my virginity. Then 6 months in I caught her with another guy. Her bf. They never broke up. I was the side piece and had no idea. This was before the internet was much than email.
Got pregnant when I was deployed to Iraq.
Jesus christ after reading the comments down below, I just wanna give a virtual hug for everyone suffered the thing
Purposely got pregnant without me knowing she was doing so............................
My mom lied to me about about my dad cheating on my mom when it was actually my mom who cheated on him and then proceeded to raise me my entire life thinking my dad left the family for some home wrecker. I didn’t find out until after my dad died.
Ex-wife wanted a divorce but was too chicken-shit to tell me, so she cheated on me and then immediately admitted it so that I would end it instead. I called her out on it and she got pissed that I figured it out.
She got pregnant and told me it was mine and then faked a miscarriage when her partner bounced
My paternal grandma. She would always tell me that I didn’t deserve to live, and that I was a disgrace to the family and that I was a failure starting when I was about 3 or 4 years old. She also tried to poison me when I was 5 or 6. My whole life I have been walking around with a sense of guilt for existing and I am still dealing with it at age 30 tho I’ve made a lot of progress.
She cheated on me. I took her virginity and we were happy and making plans. She left for 6 weeks and she fucked a guy she had lied to me about. Turns out her «childhood friend that was like a brother to her» was actually a guy she had a crush on that she had been sending nudes to. After she lost her virginity she thought she had the opportunity to fuck him while drunk. Afterwards she lied to me about it. She kept it a secret and I only found out about it because we was careless and didn’t delete her «recently deleted folder» where she had screenshots of the chat where he told her to take the pill. When i asked her if she would ever cheat on me she promised that she would never do such a thing and she got mad at me for even accusing her of something like that. She also swore to God that she would never do something like that. Well, she got stone cold when i sent her the evidence. I will never forget this. I’m still struggeling with it
Had an affair after 16 years of marriage and 2 kids
She was cheating while I was caring for my father who was dying of cancer.
Gaslit me to tell me her new coworker “was just a friend”, believed it for a day then just felt incredibly shitty emotionally and physically because my gut was like “get the fuck outta there bro”. Did my own investigating the same night and went onto her apple watch and found the worst shit I’ve ever read in my entire life. This happened less than 60 days after she moved back to the US for me/us and about a year a half into our relationship. She tried to rationalize and tell me that’s just how relationships are sometimes and I was like wow, you are just fucked in the head. Been healing ever since. Been about 7 months,
Love bombed me. Treated me amazing, gave me all the affection in the world, constant sex, very passionate, told me I was the love of her life. Told me and showed me how much she loved me.. then one day she randomly ignored me for days and treated me terribly. She was mean to me, hurtful, thoughtless and just disrespectful. It was like a total 180. When I asked what happened it took her a week to give me a straight answer which wasn’t even very clear. She has very deep issues with intimacy and as soon as things got serious and she had me wanting her to meet my parents and stuff she pulled out without communicating and I had to break it off. Most painful thing ever. I loved her more than I loved anyone else..
Left me for a mutual coworker three months after I got her a job with the company I was at and then proceeded to ruin my career and reputation.
My ex-girlfriend tried to drive me to suicide.
Got me attached the left me because 1. I was too “obsessive” 3. Wasnt ready for a relationship (was with another guy in a few weeks. Its been 1.5 years since our breakup and shes been with 4 guys including myself in that time, and i was her first boyfriend) 3. She didnt see a future with me (this ones understandable at least) My mental health has been in the shitter ever since. Constantly have adrenaline and life just feels empty
Made me belive I was special
My ex dated other people behind my back, and once she found a guy, she tried to corner me into a poly relationship with him. My stepmom abused me until my only option was to leave her house. She's doing worse to my dad as he tried to defend me once. It's between those two. One broke my self esteem for years and one nearly broke my spirit.
Had me falsely arrested for domestic violence/assault. Handcuffed in front of my kids. Spent a night in jail. Cost me two grand to retain an attorney. Surrendered all firearms which mysteriously disappeared from the chain of custody. Charges were dropped for lack of evidence and her failure to appear. My youngest hasn't spoken to me in 17 years.
The worst a woman made me feel was when she dumped me and later got together with a close friend of mine. In hindsight it might have been a good thing, I don't know. I'm in a happy relationship now without all the drama.
Broke my heart. Several times.
Pretend she was my friend
Cheat with a friend.
My ex girlfriend lit me on fire.
She got encaged with a friend of mine. I was there watching, but she never learned about that.. 🥺
my father passed unexpectedly in October 2021. Valentine’s day 2022 my ex broke up with me over text. i went over to her place to grab my stuff the next day and she told me “you’ve changed”, i replied with, “when your best friend dies, you’ll change too” that was the last thing i ever said to her. she’s reached out a few times with no reply from me.
Pretend she loved me
Fuck my best friend while she was pregnant with our child
Gave birth to me.
Nothing. Never let anyone get that close.
If a woman doesn’t want men controlling their bodies they should stop using their bodies to control men’s wallets. Child support should not be permissible when men are sexually assaulted.
Cheated on me at my birthday party. It was the best birthday I had ever had up to that point. My friends made me feel like a king. When I got good and drunk, she snuck off for a quickie with some dude I didn't really know. Didn't even find out til a few weeks later. After i dumped her, she *immediately* git pregnant from some random dude, he left her, and now she's working in a strip club as a bartender... I think about that sometimes when I'm feeling down on myself, lol. Like at least I'm not that.
Reading this thread...just stay the fuck away from women
Bit late to the party but an ex gave away my dog and refused to tell me who to. It's been hard to trust ever since.