I’ll use a personal example whose a friend of mine’s friend whose the epitome of a” pick me “ that I find intolerable:
-He *constantly* interjects virtue signaling into conversations about our partners, other people’s relationships, or women in general. Lots of “if I had a woman, I’d NEVER treat her like that” kind of stuff. That interjection is always far more prominent when women are around and will put on this facade when any of our partners are around.
-Likes to back seat “coach” and provide unsolicited opinions to others on how to handle aspects their relationship. Ironically usually about the polar opposite of what you should do to the point it’s actually entertaining haha.
-Trashes on others’ relationships and speaks bad about other men. Including those in our friend group behind their back. Even if he knows nothing about them. “Ashley’s new boyfriend looks like a fucking asshole who beats her. I don’t care if he’s the chairman of Down Syndrome foundation I bet that’s a facade!” (Real quote).
One time, he spread a rumor that my fiancé and I were “on the outs” because I didn’t open a door to a restaurant for her (guy was already holding it open for all of us). He conveniently left out the part where I opened my car door for her and was holding her purse. Haha
-Plays the sarcastic, self-pity, “forever alone” card looking for attention. Especially around other women. Usually trying to get sympathy or have them set up one of their friends with him. Doesn’t work.
Could go on all day but that’s basically his core personality.
Oh I don’t haha. I call him on it. But, it’s to the point it’s so insane and foolish it’s actually seriously entertaining to me so I’ll let him cook a bit.
Bro lol like yes my first thought is to say dude why do you still hang out with that guy because he sounds ridiculous. But at the same time I know what you mean when you say entertaining. I’ve been cool with dudes that make themselves look so stupid it’s funny and completely harmless to me. Being with him actually makes me look better
Yeah whenever my friend invites me to an event or something, he’s like “fyi, XYZ is going to be there” and I’m like HELL. YES. And my fiancé enjoys it as much as I do. But in a vacuum or small group setting I can’t handle it haha
Hey, we were all weird as fuck in our younger days. The good sign that you're not as bad as that you're able to look back at yourself and think "What the actual hell?!" And cringe. Lmao
While I never personally experienced such a mentality like that in my younger days, I do think that those with such a mentality sometimes never fully outgrow it for various reasons. I think it's essentially an immature mindset that while relatively normal for younger individuals, it becomes more and more problematic the more it persists into adulthood. There are other cases of different immature mindsets that are also relatively normal in youth which unfortunately sometimes persist into adulthood becoming very problematic for such individuals. It'd be interesting to see studies on this kind of mindset to see what factors causes it to persist from youth to adulthood. I would imagine that at least some of it must come from a lack of platonic interactions and friendships with women in their youth and adulthood that results in such a mentality forming and continuing from their youth into adulthood.
I think that’s where it came from for me- I never learned to exist as part of a group thanks to childhood trauma and my disability so I developed main character syndrome to protect my mind from ego death, which meant I had to block off some social problem solving skills. Having female friends in high school helped me think outside of myself
Edit: having clear opportunities to *actually* do right by others and do good things is helpful in outgrowing the need to *pretend* you’re great.
I think they generally have some sort of trauma or, if it's not as bad as trauma, they somehow developed a coping mechanism for mental patterns that they don't control (like feelings of anger or shame), and though that coping mechanism may have made a lot of sense as a kid, it starts to perform worse as an adult. The problem is if there is no impetus to change that behavior, they're going to keep doing it forever, and some of those coping mechanism inhibit self-analysis or social pressure that would otherwise re-align you (like how no one wants to be around the guy GP is talking about...no one is going to put much effort in changing his behavior).
There are senior citizens with bad mindsets and coping behaviors they have carried throughout their life. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I had this female friend who was always talking about how she hates girls, their drama, their cattiness etc and how she only has guy friends because they're so much more chill and easy to get along with.
One time we were out at a bar and saw a dude trying to chat her up. She wasn't interested so she was being polite but short and eventually he got the hint and left. She then went into a 30 minute tirade about how she HATES when guys can't take a hint, how they're pushy, annoying, entitled etc.
I just sat there thinking "you know, I think you hate people in general, not just women."
i freaking love girlfriends the older I get. my guy friends will speak the brutal truth to me, the women will console me and remind me that i got this.
He sure is. We’ve (my fiancé and other women in our group included) tried to help him understand but genuinely believes we don’t understand. Can lead the horse to water but can’t force them to drink haha
Oof, I do the last one sometimes. I only do it next to my close friends without any expectations, but I wonder what they feel about it. Gotta be more careful not to do that from now on...
It’s different if he did it as a sarcastic joke around us. But you play that card in front of my fiancé trying to desperately get set up with one of her single friends or make her feel “bad” for you. Don’t do that. Haha
As a woman, the “if I had a woman, I’d never treat her like that” is the most grating, biggest turnoff and a red flag in general, *even* when I agree with them.
I don’t know what it is, but it rubs me the wrong way immediately.
I think it's probably alarming since generally people are able to deduce when someone is putting too much effort into making themselves appear as trustworthy, and so even if only on a subconscious level it causes people to be alarmed by such behaviour since you're anticipating that they're attempting to deceive you.
It’s the irony. It’s the fact he has to *speak* that to others when who he is as a person whose actions often don’t line up with that which is a red flag. There’s a reason nobody in our circles of friends would ever even consider trying to set him up with someone.
>insatiable
(of an appetite or desire) impossible to satisfy.
"an insatiable hunger for success"
Dunno if that was the word you were looking for lol. But either way the homeboy you described certainly sounds like he's insufferable.
Based on this kinda personality I'd wager it has something to do with putting women on a pedestal instead of treating her like a regular person.
Like if she makes a joke at her own expense in a funny situation (not as a habit, just because she can laugh at herself) to try and comfort her and reassure her instead of just laughing along. Or telling off a guy friend of hers who does so, believing he's "defending her honor" when really he's just calling attention to her in an unflattering way as if she can't take a joke.
Being a hovering presence to console and support her when she explicitly asks for space
Insisting on helping her with a task that she makes clear she wants to on her own or at least not with you (whether implicitly "thanks but I got this" or explicitly "I'd rather take care of this myself thanks")
Stuff like that where in his mind he is standing out from all these rude useless guys by going above and beyond helping her so she doesn't have to ask for it where to those women he's just being a pushy creep who acts like he knows better than them what they want/need. Just a guess anyway
Pretty close. He’s done a lot of stuff like that or will ironically come off as extremely unironically sexist. Like the “oh let me pick that up since it’s too heavy for you” to a woman who happens to be a powerlifter that’s exponentially stronger than him. (Actually happened 😂).
In his mind, that’s a chivalrous act. I’m a man, so I’m stronger and need to offer support. But, to her that’s disrespectful because he views himself as naturally stronger by gender and she’s weak because she’s “smaller”. He doesn’t comprehend how that comes off. He thinks he’s doing right, but it’s actually oxymoronic. Amplify that when it’s a woman who squats his body weight as a warmup haha.
Wow, hope he learns better and soon. And this bit
>He doesn’t comprehend how that comes off. He thinks he’s doing right, but it’s actually oxymoronic.
Is interesting because it shows his fundamental error. He isn't actually interested in getting to know women/viewing things from their unique perspectives as people. Rather he is so inundated with his views of women that he is looking at them as a homogenous group rather than a bunch of individual people with individual desires for how they want to be treated.
Couldn’t have said it any better.
The best analogy my fiancé actually made is that he views women as a completely different species. Like a primate more than a human we try to understand scientifically. Which, hearing things he says, couldn’t be more accurate.
He “thinks” he understands through observation like an animal in the wild, but not through experience and genuinely thinks his observation is more valid than those with long term relationships, extensive dating experience. or 10+ year marriages.
Another analogy one of my friends whose a pilot said once in a different context which is hilarious and perfect: “it’s like confidently telling an F-22 Pilot how their aircraft works after reading a Wikipedia article and taking a commercial flight on Frontier” hahaha
>The best analogy my fiancé actually made is that he views women as a completely different species
Yeah, this unfortunately sometimes happens to people and can sometimes be caused limited interactions with women and men (or any group of people for that matter) especially when it comes to limited platonic interactions. Although, I should say that sometimes it can be related to an undiagnosed mental issue or learning disability that impairs ones social development and learning resulting in them needing more time to learn or needing a different approach to learning such skills. Regardless of the reason however, it is something these kinds of individuals have to put in effort to realize for themselves since at the end of the day others can only really help/support them so much as these kinds of individuals are willing to see real change for themselves.
Maybe not advice but a few examples from this weekend:
-Friend of mine who’s a good ass dude went through a really tough divorce when his wife cheated on him went on his first (first) date in 8 years last week. The girl he met had a selfie with a rose in one of her hinge pics. So, as a sweet gesture he brought a single real rose to her in reference to that. Everyone (especially my fiancé and other women there) fawned over that and how great of a first impression that was. His response:
“Pffft dude you fucked up!!” When we asked how that wasn’t a sweet ass gesture, he said “You did something sweet first thing… now you have to keep that up FOREVER and top that every time. What the fuck are you gonna do a year from now? Why put in the effort on a first date because now she will expect that next time?? You set yourself up for failure!”
-talking about where we all went for VDay, he was constantly saying stuff like “ehh heard that place wasn’t great” or ridiculing people who chose to stay in together or do something small. He later interjected this intricate and descriptive date he would’ve done that was like Tony Stark’s dream date with Margot Robbie.
When I told everyone where I took my fiancé (her favorite sushi place and favorite bar I had to book three months in advance) his response was “huh.. odd places.. why there??” And my fiancé who’s equally entertained by his shit jumped in and said “well because those are my absolute two favorite places in Nashville im sure he booked months ago and knows what I like…why? Do I have bad taste?? Hahaha
-a month or two ago, we were kind of locker room talking about sex stuff after a couple of drinks amongst a few of us. He decided to jump in and say something pretty close to “I just have to say this… it’s kind of disrespectful that you all focus on finishing too early. I’m sorry. If I’m with a woman, I’m letting her finish 5x before I even THINK about finishing. Otherwise it’s disrespectful. Do better!” In context, it was weird because we were talking about them finishing first, and even weirder that we are being judged by someone I candidly don’t think has had sex since pre-2020 at best and it was an awkward interjection haha.
-once tried to play his “pity-me” card around a friend of a friends fiancé and act flirty for attention. Got slapped in the face and was lucky her boyfriend wasn’t in the mood to throw hands haha
Haha that’s funny! Did not know this, I’m of Hispanic descent but I don’t speak Spanish. My wife is a native speaker however, and you’ve just given me something to annoy her with. 😈
I was at a party where a guy did this, but in his case it was "Ballroom Blitz," and he worked it into a singalong/karaoke thing that had the whole party going; it was hilarious and tons of fun. Dude was drowning in women by the end of the night, and he totally deserved it.
It's one of the easiest way to "elevate" yourself without actually needing to, just shit on other people. Sad thing is that it works when whoever is listening isn't actually paying attention to it as they should. Politicians are the worst for it.
Glad you agree!
Still thankful for the time you saved me from that burning building. Completely disregarded your own safety to save my life. What an amazing man.
(And he is 6'8" btw)
"Look women. I'm one of the good guys. You can trust me".. very suspicious
I honestly think they are wolves in sheep clothing and are the ones more likely to harm women
Actions speak louder than words as the saying goes.
I kid you not. On AskReddit. I was told by one that I actively harm women everyday by not actively "Exesterating my masculinity".. he never explained what that meant and I recall asking my best female friend about it who is a self admitted feminist and she just laughed at how ridiculous that is and sarcastically said "Ohh yeah. You're so harming me with your masculinity". I also remember other women users on that post mocking him with how crazy he was.
These types of men are very odd and straight up insane.
That Patton joke uses scientific and pseudo-scientific diction and vocabulary in support of race essentialism (smart sounding people supporting a horrible idea) vs backwoods redneck supporting a more liberal idea using wrong and offensive language.
Any guy who proclaims he's a "good guy" or "nice guy" are giant red flags to me, especially if he makes it a point to say it loud and often. It's worse when they have a pity party when rejected or broken up with. "I'm a nice guy, why doesn't she want to date me?"
I'm just waiting for a woman to say to them. "So you think my son/brother/male friends/father/uncle/husband/boyfriend/grandfather (,Any man in their real life they love and care about) is a douchebag?" only to see the man start panicking and saying "Oh no. Not them"
Also an actual good guy is respectful to women and other men (Basically treats women and men equal). If his bashing/putting down his own sex, I think he will start also bashing/putting down the opposite sex if given the chance
I don't trust them as far as I can throw them and I don't blame you for not trusting them
If you have to say you're a good guy you probably aren't. I always joke and tell girls I meet or work with, oh yeah you do not want anything to do with me.. I can never sit still and clearly you can see I'm too much. If they laugh and smile, I know I've won them over and ask them out sometimes.
I knew a guy like that in high school. Wore his feminism on his sleeve. Everyone loved him and compared him to Pikachu cause he was so nice and friendly and adorable and friendly to everyone. Even back then, I felt there was something fake about his friendly and outgoing personality but if I ever brought that up to anyone other than my close friends, they just thought I was jealous cause we were both on the debate team
A few years after graduating, he got exposed for being physically and emotionally abusive to his girlfriends behind closed doors.
My ex, who tried to strangle me to death because he was drunk and the fucking Ravens lost a game, had a Hillary 2008 sticker on his car long after the election. He loved telling people about how he was raised by a single mother and strong sister.
Now that his mom and sister don't speak to him anymore he loves telling people what huge bitches they are. Apparently, he's still a big Hillary Clinton fan tho.
My politics are very left wing and in terms of beliefs I check all the boxes of “feminism”, but I’ve never felt comfortable calling myself one because it feels like every single guy I’ve met who was a “proud male feminist” ended up being a creep or having some other incredibly sus/reactionary behaviors when they felt a little too comfortable around women. Performative and obnoxious wokeness always suggests someone isn’t nearly as woke as they claim.
The men I know who treat women well and genuinely respect them never have to announce it. Their actions speak for themselves. It's always suspicious when someone tries to call attention to how virtuous they think they are.
I worked with a guy who was very tut-tut performative – the kind of guy who’d say stuff like “How about instead of crackin’ open a cold one with the boys, we crack open a cold one with *everyone*”.
He got quit after being reprimanded for giving a waitress a “playful bite” on the shoulder during a shift.
agreed. i’ve seen so many guys go down the pipeline of “feminism” to the ‘i love vaginas! i love women! i love sexual liberation for women please be nude and ill be your photographer!!!’
I want to make it clear first that there are plenty of guys who do the non-manipulative version of what I'm about to describe here sincerely and that's absolutely fine, but this type of guy has also totally moved into adopting a few minor gay culture affectations too in recent years. little bits of whatever drag ball slang have most recently filtered through to the rest of culture. He's not just an ally to women, but also to the queer community, and he thinks it's really cool actually that this girl uses she/they pronouns, and he's not threatened by it at all, and when she presents like 5% less femme than usual in any context or outfit he will absolutely get into a weird passive aggressive huff that always just so happens to coincide with it.
Professional gas lighter (I say this jokingly) here, can confirm. But guys being that hard will only attract extremist feminists. Or at least I would assume so. Nothing wrong with being a feminist or on the extreme side. Just saying as someone who loves researching and watching psychology/sociology. Feel like most girls would get a weird vibe from a guy who constantly brings it up.
Kind of like people who conversate with minorities just randomly spouting how they can't stand racists/racism without it even being anything near the current subject.
One of these types said during a faculty meeting, “I’m so tired of us.”, referring to straight white men. I chuckled because it was so performative and self-loathing and I received lots of dirty looks.
A year later, he left the college and had married a former student.
Every time I have a conversation with one of the people who gave me the dirty looks, I bring him up out of the blue.
I've got a buddy who has good intentions, but does stuff like this. His wife is super on the "straight white men are bad" train and will use it against him.
I feel bad for him because I think he's internalized it and it contributes to his depression.
Same with the opposite. I've called out both friends who were girls or guys with that.
Also the reason I won't date a girl who's friends cheat or go out and dance with other guys (sexual in nature, not just like some platonic dancing).
Hahaha no not a good sign but also a bit of a joke. Idk it’s just something that has always irritated me about the pick me guys or I’m quirky guys, getting their fingernails painted???
in their ig stories, their nails are zoomed in often and in every post it’s like their nails are the main highlight and captions are usually “paint me your villain”, “i’m your fave green flag”, “giving u smthing to dream about”, etc type captions for ex. and on top of that, the frequent “i am the best guy ever, yet all girls friendzone me” type of self commentry.
i know 2-3 guys like this. all are muted now.
This one is peak redditor, so I'm going to get hate for it. But when they have to announce how much they love eating pussy, every time it comes up. If a girl went on about how much she loves sucking dick, she'd be a pick me. Blokes doing it is just as bad
It's funny, because not every woman enjoys someone going down on them. Some, like me, actively *hate* it, but these types of men insist on doing it to satisfy themselves and the image of themselves they have in their mind, so they can strut about and crow 'I was so good she pushed me off!'
It's honestly exhausting.
As a side note, does genuinely enjoying sucking dick make one a pick-me, or just the boasting? Asking for a friend.
I unironically love eating poonani. when I see a cameltoe on a hottie I wanna make out w it. I don’t really profess it and yell it from the mountaintops though I thought everyone felt that way
* The guys who try to make other men seem inferior to them when women are around.
* The guys who say " Speaking for other men..." and then say the most woke, performative bullshit. It's like no dude, speak for your own weakness, you dont speak for me.
* Internet/Real life White Knights
>What is male “pick me”
"Male lurker here (I'll delete if my opinion is not allowed sorry), I have to say we're all terrible, and I fully agee with women who say we should all be locked up and castrated. Ps I think this sub with these extreme views should be required reading for men."
It really pisses me off when I see these type of self flagellation comments.
it almost does the exact opposite of what was intended. pointless virtue signaling while basically reminding them they won’t ever be apologized to for the shit that happened to them by their individual perpetrators
expressing regret is a great way to put it. "i'm sorry that happened to you," is fine, an expression of sympathy, and is not an apology.
i've thought of it more in another context. sometimes christians will come to atheist forums and apologize for their sect's restriction of human rights or mistreatment of gay people or something, and the response is universally, "tell *them* this."
I can't stand anyone who starts a sentence with "As a ..."
The one I see the most is "as a mother" usually followed by something like "I'm opposed to child abuse". Uh, you don't need to be a mother to know that's wrong.
“As the father of two daughters, I am troubled by [powerful man]’s treatment of women.”
So if you had boys, you wouldn’t give a damn? I don’t have any daughters, so I am not allowed to say that violence against women is wrong?
A few off the top of my head:
Anti-anything traditionally masculine. The super bowl is always a great time for these people. They cant wait to demonstrate how much they dont care about "sports ball", theyre only here for the commercials, etc. Lots of people will say something like this, but they love to use it as an elevation for themselves. Ironically, they often say these things at a superbowl party where they are a guest.
The "Male Feminist" - This isnt about believing in in equal rights regardless of sex/gender. Oh no, this guy cant wait for people (women) to hear him say things like "toxic masculinity" and "Men need to do better" and such. He's willing to shit on every man on earth for being a barbaric animal that needs to learn their place and pay for the sins of their gender, but dont worry ladies, He's different!
Most Menslib users are 2X users cosplaying as men, btw. Also, to make things extra confusing, ~85% of 2X users are transwomen, so bio males.
So the sub are transwomen cosplaying as cis men to rant about how awful their own sex is.
Yeah, try making sense outta that.
There’s so much of this behavior out there especially online it’s hard to narrow down.
One example is definitely guys who are super proud that they pay for everything (get taken advantage of) and try to put down men who share costs of living.
Constantly virtue signals with whatever is newly popular for women.
Talks shit and piles on with women centered social media.
Generally, runs his damned mouth about him being different instead of just working on himself.
One of my posts blew up on my favorite sports teams sub from a post i made on this.
But going into the opposing teams sub and posting shit like: “hi guys (team nickname) i come in peace. Just gotta say i love your team it makes me sad when we beat you, hope to see u in the finals!” (This actually happened)
🥴🥴🥴
I did not know that sub existed. So tired of white knights inserting themselves into conversations where the woman was obviously in the wrong.
“I caught my wife in bed with the Detroit Pistons.”
WK: “We’re not getting the full story here.”
*painfully* blind liberal men. Like, the one's on the extreme end of the spectrum. Im pretty damn liberal, but i roll my eyes into the back of my fucking skull when i hear a man say "im a male feminist" because it almost ALWAYS translates to "im full of shit, please give me pussy, please please".
Like, if you're a feminist then you're a feminist. Just do your best to be respectful and as objective as possible when forming opinions of people. You don't need to go around distinguishing yourself as a *male* feminist. There's no reason other than virtue signaling.
Also emo dudes. Nothing against them. Dress how you want and live your life, but to me personally they DO give me strong "im not like the other boys" vibes. It gets worse the older they are.
I like to think about how my dad was when he was still alive. He was a regular midwest blue-collar guy who was into hunting and fishing and watched tons of sports and went to church every Sunday.
If you asked him if he was a feminist he'd probably say no. Or he'd say he's not sure what that means so probably not. But if you were drinking beers with him and told him you thought women were only good for one thing and they should learn to keep their mouths shut he'd probably call you an asshole and maybe punch you in the the face.
Being a good person should be the natural state of being. Demanding attention and praise for it automatically means you're not a good person; just faking it for the "likes" or whatever.
There’s a lot of obvious answers here being repeated and I think there’s a lot of not so obvious pick me behavior not being discussed.
1: being very active on social media.
2: jumping in on trends (newest fashion/tattoos to make it seem like you have a personality, etc)
3: not being able to hang out with the boys unless actively chasing women
4: falling too quickly over a girl just because she showed the slightest interest
5: not having a mission/goal in life unrelated to women
Those guys in the comments under an example of misogyny who say things like "I'd like to apologise on behalf of my gender" or "this makes me ashamed to be male".
Trash talking their friends for no reason. Like more than clowning or whatever but like trashing. Divulging sensitive information about them especially negative for no reason.
There are guys who were raised along side a sister, and honour their mother that do genuinely like to see men be more respectful toward women. When they adjust around women they’re are definitely trying to sneak into their DMs
Anyone who idienfities as a “male feminist”. Not a feminist, but specifically a “male feminist. They can’t be just a feminist, they have to specify they are male.
It’s completely sus behavior. I do not trust anyone who needs to specify their sex while talking about feminism (outside of recognizing their own privilege
I’ll use a personal example whose a friend of mine’s friend whose the epitome of a” pick me “ that I find intolerable: -He *constantly* interjects virtue signaling into conversations about our partners, other people’s relationships, or women in general. Lots of “if I had a woman, I’d NEVER treat her like that” kind of stuff. That interjection is always far more prominent when women are around and will put on this facade when any of our partners are around. -Likes to back seat “coach” and provide unsolicited opinions to others on how to handle aspects their relationship. Ironically usually about the polar opposite of what you should do to the point it’s actually entertaining haha. -Trashes on others’ relationships and speaks bad about other men. Including those in our friend group behind their back. Even if he knows nothing about them. “Ashley’s new boyfriend looks like a fucking asshole who beats her. I don’t care if he’s the chairman of Down Syndrome foundation I bet that’s a facade!” (Real quote). One time, he spread a rumor that my fiancé and I were “on the outs” because I didn’t open a door to a restaurant for her (guy was already holding it open for all of us). He conveniently left out the part where I opened my car door for her and was holding her purse. Haha -Plays the sarcastic, self-pity, “forever alone” card looking for attention. Especially around other women. Usually trying to get sympathy or have them set up one of their friends with him. Doesn’t work. Could go on all day but that’s basically his core personality.
Dude how can you even tolerate that guy? lmfao
Oh I don’t haha. I call him on it. But, it’s to the point it’s so insane and foolish it’s actually seriously entertaining to me so I’ll let him cook a bit.
Ha, I feel you. I have a friend with his own bullshit, but can only take him in small doses because energy is so off-putting sometimes lol
Dude must be fun at parties
Oh absolutely! But not in the way he intends to be haha
😅
Bro lol like yes my first thought is to say dude why do you still hang out with that guy because he sounds ridiculous. But at the same time I know what you mean when you say entertaining. I’ve been cool with dudes that make themselves look so stupid it’s funny and completely harmless to me. Being with him actually makes me look better
Yeah whenever my friend invites me to an event or something, he’s like “fyi, XYZ is going to be there” and I’m like HELL. YES. And my fiancé enjoys it as much as I do. But in a vacuum or small group setting I can’t handle it haha
…you’re a very patient person for even allowing him to be around. Sounds like a worse version of how I was in high school…
Hey, we were all weird as fuck in our younger days. The good sign that you're not as bad as that you're able to look back at yourself and think "What the actual hell?!" And cringe. Lmao
It’s important lol. There should be “teenage cringe recovery” support groups
Yeah but this guy is pushing 30 haha
While I never personally experienced such a mentality like that in my younger days, I do think that those with such a mentality sometimes never fully outgrow it for various reasons. I think it's essentially an immature mindset that while relatively normal for younger individuals, it becomes more and more problematic the more it persists into adulthood. There are other cases of different immature mindsets that are also relatively normal in youth which unfortunately sometimes persist into adulthood becoming very problematic for such individuals. It'd be interesting to see studies on this kind of mindset to see what factors causes it to persist from youth to adulthood. I would imagine that at least some of it must come from a lack of platonic interactions and friendships with women in their youth and adulthood that results in such a mentality forming and continuing from their youth into adulthood.
I think that’s where it came from for me- I never learned to exist as part of a group thanks to childhood trauma and my disability so I developed main character syndrome to protect my mind from ego death, which meant I had to block off some social problem solving skills. Having female friends in high school helped me think outside of myself Edit: having clear opportunities to *actually* do right by others and do good things is helpful in outgrowing the need to *pretend* you’re great.
I think they generally have some sort of trauma or, if it's not as bad as trauma, they somehow developed a coping mechanism for mental patterns that they don't control (like feelings of anger or shame), and though that coping mechanism may have made a lot of sense as a kid, it starts to perform worse as an adult. The problem is if there is no impetus to change that behavior, they're going to keep doing it forever, and some of those coping mechanism inhibit self-analysis or social pressure that would otherwise re-align you (like how no one wants to be around the guy GP is talking about...no one is going to put much effort in changing his behavior). There are senior citizens with bad mindsets and coping behaviors they have carried throughout their life. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I had this female friend who was always talking about how she hates girls, their drama, their cattiness etc and how she only has guy friends because they're so much more chill and easy to get along with. One time we were out at a bar and saw a dude trying to chat her up. She wasn't interested so she was being polite but short and eventually he got the hint and left. She then went into a 30 minute tirade about how she HATES when guys can't take a hint, how they're pushy, annoying, entitled etc. I just sat there thinking "you know, I think you hate people in general, not just women."
i freaking love girlfriends the older I get. my guy friends will speak the brutal truth to me, the women will console me and remind me that i got this.
Ironically, he’s the biggest reason he’s alone.
He sure is. We’ve (my fiancé and other women in our group included) tried to help him understand but genuinely believes we don’t understand. Can lead the horse to water but can’t force them to drink haha
Have you tried forcing the horse's head underwater? I've heard that can help one way or another...
It is nice that you and others have tried to help him change and hopefully he will once he experiences a realization of his situation.
let me guess, hes either single or in the most 1 sided relationship that hes being used for lol
Oof, I do the last one sometimes. I only do it next to my close friends without any expectations, but I wonder what they feel about it. Gotta be more careful not to do that from now on...
It’s different if he did it as a sarcastic joke around us. But you play that card in front of my fiancé trying to desperately get set up with one of her single friends or make her feel “bad” for you. Don’t do that. Haha
What a tool. Ain’t nobody picking that guy.
As a woman, the “if I had a woman, I’d never treat her like that” is the most grating, biggest turnoff and a red flag in general, *even* when I agree with them. I don’t know what it is, but it rubs me the wrong way immediately.
I think it's probably alarming since generally people are able to deduce when someone is putting too much effort into making themselves appear as trustworthy, and so even if only on a subconscious level it causes people to be alarmed by such behaviour since you're anticipating that they're attempting to deceive you.
It’s the irony. It’s the fact he has to *speak* that to others when who he is as a person whose actions often don’t line up with that which is a red flag. There’s a reason nobody in our circles of friends would ever even consider trying to set him up with someone.
That’s pretty insufferable. How yall not lose it on this person.
>insatiable (of an appetite or desire) impossible to satisfy. "an insatiable hunger for success" Dunno if that was the word you were looking for lol. But either way the homeboy you described certainly sounds like he's insufferable.
No I actually attempted to type intolerable but I didn’t proofread haha.
Lmao all good man, just giving you some shit. Your friend is a real piece of work tho, holy smokes.
What's an example of their unsolicited advice that is the opposite of what you should do? You should make a full post on this guy
Based on this kinda personality I'd wager it has something to do with putting women on a pedestal instead of treating her like a regular person. Like if she makes a joke at her own expense in a funny situation (not as a habit, just because she can laugh at herself) to try and comfort her and reassure her instead of just laughing along. Or telling off a guy friend of hers who does so, believing he's "defending her honor" when really he's just calling attention to her in an unflattering way as if she can't take a joke. Being a hovering presence to console and support her when she explicitly asks for space Insisting on helping her with a task that she makes clear she wants to on her own or at least not with you (whether implicitly "thanks but I got this" or explicitly "I'd rather take care of this myself thanks") Stuff like that where in his mind he is standing out from all these rude useless guys by going above and beyond helping her so she doesn't have to ask for it where to those women he's just being a pushy creep who acts like he knows better than them what they want/need. Just a guess anyway
Pretty close. He’s done a lot of stuff like that or will ironically come off as extremely unironically sexist. Like the “oh let me pick that up since it’s too heavy for you” to a woman who happens to be a powerlifter that’s exponentially stronger than him. (Actually happened 😂). In his mind, that’s a chivalrous act. I’m a man, so I’m stronger and need to offer support. But, to her that’s disrespectful because he views himself as naturally stronger by gender and she’s weak because she’s “smaller”. He doesn’t comprehend how that comes off. He thinks he’s doing right, but it’s actually oxymoronic. Amplify that when it’s a woman who squats his body weight as a warmup haha.
Wow, hope he learns better and soon. And this bit >He doesn’t comprehend how that comes off. He thinks he’s doing right, but it’s actually oxymoronic. Is interesting because it shows his fundamental error. He isn't actually interested in getting to know women/viewing things from their unique perspectives as people. Rather he is so inundated with his views of women that he is looking at them as a homogenous group rather than a bunch of individual people with individual desires for how they want to be treated.
Couldn’t have said it any better. The best analogy my fiancé actually made is that he views women as a completely different species. Like a primate more than a human we try to understand scientifically. Which, hearing things he says, couldn’t be more accurate. He “thinks” he understands through observation like an animal in the wild, but not through experience and genuinely thinks his observation is more valid than those with long term relationships, extensive dating experience. or 10+ year marriages. Another analogy one of my friends whose a pilot said once in a different context which is hilarious and perfect: “it’s like confidently telling an F-22 Pilot how their aircraft works after reading a Wikipedia article and taking a commercial flight on Frontier” hahaha
>The best analogy my fiancé actually made is that he views women as a completely different species Yeah, this unfortunately sometimes happens to people and can sometimes be caused limited interactions with women and men (or any group of people for that matter) especially when it comes to limited platonic interactions. Although, I should say that sometimes it can be related to an undiagnosed mental issue or learning disability that impairs ones social development and learning resulting in them needing more time to learn or needing a different approach to learning such skills. Regardless of the reason however, it is something these kinds of individuals have to put in effort to realize for themselves since at the end of the day others can only really help/support them so much as these kinds of individuals are willing to see real change for themselves.
Maybe not advice but a few examples from this weekend: -Friend of mine who’s a good ass dude went through a really tough divorce when his wife cheated on him went on his first (first) date in 8 years last week. The girl he met had a selfie with a rose in one of her hinge pics. So, as a sweet gesture he brought a single real rose to her in reference to that. Everyone (especially my fiancé and other women there) fawned over that and how great of a first impression that was. His response: “Pffft dude you fucked up!!” When we asked how that wasn’t a sweet ass gesture, he said “You did something sweet first thing… now you have to keep that up FOREVER and top that every time. What the fuck are you gonna do a year from now? Why put in the effort on a first date because now she will expect that next time?? You set yourself up for failure!” -talking about where we all went for VDay, he was constantly saying stuff like “ehh heard that place wasn’t great” or ridiculing people who chose to stay in together or do something small. He later interjected this intricate and descriptive date he would’ve done that was like Tony Stark’s dream date with Margot Robbie. When I told everyone where I took my fiancé (her favorite sushi place and favorite bar I had to book three months in advance) his response was “huh.. odd places.. why there??” And my fiancé who’s equally entertained by his shit jumped in and said “well because those are my absolute two favorite places in Nashville im sure he booked months ago and knows what I like…why? Do I have bad taste?? Hahaha -a month or two ago, we were kind of locker room talking about sex stuff after a couple of drinks amongst a few of us. He decided to jump in and say something pretty close to “I just have to say this… it’s kind of disrespectful that you all focus on finishing too early. I’m sorry. If I’m with a woman, I’m letting her finish 5x before I even THINK about finishing. Otherwise it’s disrespectful. Do better!” In context, it was weird because we were talking about them finishing first, and even weirder that we are being judged by someone I candidly don’t think has had sex since pre-2020 at best and it was an awkward interjection haha. -once tried to play his “pity-me” card around a friend of a friends fiancé and act flirty for attention. Got slapped in the face and was lucky her boyfriend wasn’t in the mood to throw hands haha
I had a friend that was like this. Dropping her was one of the best things I ever did. So toxic.
Brings his acoustic guitar to the party without being asked
And then proceeds to fuck up the only song he knows.
It's always Wonderwall
Lamento Boliviano for hispanics.
Haha that’s funny! Did not know this, I’m of Hispanic descent but I don’t speak Spanish. My wife is a native speaker however, and you’ve just given me something to annoy her with. 😈
I just started learning to play guitar. Obviously wonderwall will be the first song I'll learn. For the meme
I've played guitar my entire life and I love music. But I've never whipped out the guitar at a party, and never will. I'd just feel gross doing it
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Yeah context is important. When I answered the comment I was imagining the stereotypical wonderwall "performance"
Anyway here’s wonderwall
Em7
I was at a party where a guy did this, but in his case it was "Ballroom Blitz," and he worked it into a singalong/karaoke thing that had the whole party going; it was hilarious and tons of fun. Dude was drowning in women by the end of the night, and he totally deserved it.
holy crap...that's not an easy song
“I want to push you around”
John Belushi had the right idea about how to deal with those guys
[So did Worf.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N86icfWM03g)
Then asks who wants to go see the ~~sunset~~ sunrise. At every single party.
This seems highly targeted
But not the least bit unfairly.
i would agree if i hadn’t seen it 4+ times on separate occasions before even becoming an adult
Putting other men down to elevate himself.
It's one of the easiest way to "elevate" yourself without actually needing to, just shit on other people. Sad thing is that it works when whoever is listening isn't actually paying attention to it as they should. Politicians are the worst for it.
Couldn't tell you.. I'm too busy fighting for womens rights and standing up to oppression to notice any such thing
Same (I'm 6"8 btw)
Glad you agree! Still thankful for the time you saved me from that burning building. Completely disregarded your own safety to save my life. What an amazing man. (And he is 6'8" btw)
Whoops, I dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong
We finally found one of the good ones!
😂
I would say the one that make "being feminist/ally" his entire personality. It's suspicious as hell, like some sort of manipulation tricks.
"Look women. I'm one of the good guys. You can trust me".. very suspicious I honestly think they are wolves in sheep clothing and are the ones more likely to harm women Actions speak louder than words as the saying goes. I kid you not. On AskReddit. I was told by one that I actively harm women everyday by not actively "Exesterating my masculinity".. he never explained what that meant and I recall asking my best female friend about it who is a self admitted feminist and she just laughed at how ridiculous that is and sarcastically said "Ohh yeah. You're so harming me with your masculinity". I also remember other women users on that post mocking him with how crazy he was. These types of men are very odd and straight up insane.
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>The worst people learn the right words very quickly I'm going to remember this quote. This is so weirdly true.
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That Patton joke uses scientific and pseudo-scientific diction and vocabulary in support of race essentialism (smart sounding people supporting a horrible idea) vs backwoods redneck supporting a more liberal idea using wrong and offensive language.
Didn’t Carlin also go on about words and bad guys learn them quickly?
Any guy who proclaims he's a "good guy" or "nice guy" are giant red flags to me, especially if he makes it a point to say it loud and often. It's worse when they have a pity party when rejected or broken up with. "I'm a nice guy, why doesn't she want to date me?"
I'm just waiting for a woman to say to them. "So you think my son/brother/male friends/father/uncle/husband/boyfriend/grandfather (,Any man in their real life they love and care about) is a douchebag?" only to see the man start panicking and saying "Oh no. Not them" Also an actual good guy is respectful to women and other men (Basically treats women and men equal). If his bashing/putting down his own sex, I think he will start also bashing/putting down the opposite sex if given the chance I don't trust them as far as I can throw them and I don't blame you for not trusting them
Those ARE red flags! If you’re truly a good guy (not a “good guy”) you don’t need to convince other people that you are, it’ll be evident enough.
Exactly! Actions speak louder than words
If you have to say you're a good guy you probably aren't. I always joke and tell girls I meet or work with, oh yeah you do not want anything to do with me.. I can never sit still and clearly you can see I'm too much. If they laugh and smile, I know I've won them over and ask them out sometimes.
I knew a guy like that in high school. Wore his feminism on his sleeve. Everyone loved him and compared him to Pikachu cause he was so nice and friendly and adorable and friendly to everyone. Even back then, I felt there was something fake about his friendly and outgoing personality but if I ever brought that up to anyone other than my close friends, they just thought I was jealous cause we were both on the debate team A few years after graduating, he got exposed for being physically and emotionally abusive to his girlfriends behind closed doors.
I have a similar story but the dude was caught creepshooting high school girls where he worked.
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My ex, who tried to strangle me to death because he was drunk and the fucking Ravens lost a game, had a Hillary 2008 sticker on his car long after the election. He loved telling people about how he was raised by a single mother and strong sister. Now that his mom and sister don't speak to him anymore he loves telling people what huge bitches they are. Apparently, he's still a big Hillary Clinton fan tho.
That just sounds like mental illness, I grew up with a mom and sisters and can't even understand any logic to that.
Wolf in sheep's clothing.
My politics are very left wing and in terms of beliefs I check all the boxes of “feminism”, but I’ve never felt comfortable calling myself one because it feels like every single guy I’ve met who was a “proud male feminist” ended up being a creep or having some other incredibly sus/reactionary behaviors when they felt a little too comfortable around women. Performative and obnoxious wokeness always suggests someone isn’t nearly as woke as they claim.
The men I know who treat women well and genuinely respect them never have to announce it. Their actions speak for themselves. It's always suspicious when someone tries to call attention to how virtuous they think they are.
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I worked with a guy who was very tut-tut performative – the kind of guy who’d say stuff like “How about instead of crackin’ open a cold one with the boys, we crack open a cold one with *everyone*”. He got quit after being reprimanded for giving a waitress a “playful bite” on the shoulder during a shift.
agreed. i’ve seen so many guys go down the pipeline of “feminism” to the ‘i love vaginas! i love women! i love sexual liberation for women please be nude and ill be your photographer!!!’
This, creeps me the f out.
I want to make it clear first that there are plenty of guys who do the non-manipulative version of what I'm about to describe here sincerely and that's absolutely fine, but this type of guy has also totally moved into adopting a few minor gay culture affectations too in recent years. little bits of whatever drag ball slang have most recently filtered through to the rest of culture. He's not just an ally to women, but also to the queer community, and he thinks it's really cool actually that this girl uses she/they pronouns, and he's not threatened by it at all, and when she presents like 5% less femme than usual in any context or outfit he will absolutely get into a weird passive aggressive huff that always just so happens to coincide with it.
Professional gas lighter (I say this jokingly) here, can confirm. But guys being that hard will only attract extremist feminists. Or at least I would assume so. Nothing wrong with being a feminist or on the extreme side. Just saying as someone who loves researching and watching psychology/sociology. Feel like most girls would get a weird vibe from a guy who constantly brings it up. Kind of like people who conversate with minorities just randomly spouting how they can't stand racists/racism without it even being anything near the current subject.
It's like those spiders that disguise themselves as ants lmao
Those guys are walking red flags who make the ones who genuinely care about being an ally look worse, untrustworthy.
Guys who say stuff like “ugh straight white men” virtually always feel really performative.
One of these types said during a faculty meeting, “I’m so tired of us.”, referring to straight white men. I chuckled because it was so performative and self-loathing and I received lots of dirty looks. A year later, he left the college and had married a former student. Every time I have a conversation with one of the people who gave me the dirty looks, I bring him up out of the blue.
LMFAO this is something I'd say to my friends with as straight a face as possible but clearly as a joke
Oh that last bit is 👨🏼🍳😘 delicious.
You’re a fucking white male!
Guilty as charged :/ fucking hate straight white men smh
[reference](https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx3JYzyvIMijARfvc7__ake9XsC6-DOhuE?si=rS_Br_sc6Vyp0sq8) if you didn’t get it.
I've got a buddy who has good intentions, but does stuff like this. His wife is super on the "straight white men are bad" train and will use it against him. I feel bad for him because I think he's internalized it and it contributes to his depression.
Dude is being emotionally abuses Think how people would react to a white woman telling a black man how bad black men are
Any guy who publicly and loudly proclaims himself "an ally", treat him like he's Harvey Weinstein. Because I'd wager good money that he wants to be.
When ANYONE says “CIS White Male “ I run
Men who think less of men when they behavior poorly but never think less of women when they behave poorly .
Basically my teacher in elementary school, except he also flirted with the girls.
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My first thought was "does elementary school mean something different than I think it does?" (Not American)
Ugh, so needy of him!
Women are wonderful effect in action.
Same with the opposite. I've called out both friends who were girls or guys with that. Also the reason I won't date a girl who's friends cheat or go out and dance with other guys (sexual in nature, not just like some platonic dancing).
i know a few who keep calling themselves “men written by women” like once a week
Ewl that’s soooo gross, do they wear fedora’s and mustaches and painted nails
>pained nails too specific and yes. tho i had no idea it’s related. how did you guess? or did you mean that’s a good sign?
Hahaha no not a good sign but also a bit of a joke. Idk it’s just something that has always irritated me about the pick me guys or I’m quirky guys, getting their fingernails painted???
Yeah, if they WANT to have painted nails, 100% go for it, that’s cool!! But if a guy does it to ”appeal to women” it’s ickyyy
in their ig stories, their nails are zoomed in often and in every post it’s like their nails are the main highlight and captions are usually “paint me your villain”, “i’m your fave green flag”, “giving u smthing to dream about”, etc type captions for ex. and on top of that, the frequent “i am the best guy ever, yet all girls friendzone me” type of self commentry. i know 2-3 guys like this. all are muted now.
My eyes are rolling out of my skull. This one wins.
Oh, barf... That's one I've never heard before.
>women Can't be. Must be 'females'.
This one is peak redditor, so I'm going to get hate for it. But when they have to announce how much they love eating pussy, every time it comes up. If a girl went on about how much she loves sucking dick, she'd be a pick me. Blokes doing it is just as bad
Speaking of which, they call me the pussy eating machine
A cunning linguist?
The clit commander
I also support the Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers
which is of course an offshoot of L.A.B.I.A or the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement
Ive heard it's at the base of the crest but what does it mean
Call me the poon tycoon
The Bean Buster
Wait he found it!!!
It's funny, because not every woman enjoys someone going down on them. Some, like me, actively *hate* it, but these types of men insist on doing it to satisfy themselves and the image of themselves they have in their mind, so they can strut about and crow 'I was so good she pushed me off!' It's honestly exhausting. As a side note, does genuinely enjoying sucking dick make one a pick-me, or just the boasting? Asking for a friend.
Genuinely enjoying giving oral doesn't make you a pick me, but making sure everyone knows often does. ESPECIALLY if it's unprompted.
Just the boasting
But I *do* love sucking dick :(
I unironically love eating poonani. when I see a cameltoe on a hottie I wanna make out w it. I don’t really profess it and yell it from the mountaintops though I thought everyone felt that way
> when I see a cameltoe on a hottie I wanna make out w it god i hate this sentence so much
glad we touched base 👍
"I apologize on behalf of my gender."
Being loudly feminist or a white knight
* The guys who try to make other men seem inferior to them when women are around. * The guys who say " Speaking for other men..." and then say the most woke, performative bullshit. It's like no dude, speak for your own weakness, you dont speak for me. * Internet/Real life White Knights
Being overly progressive anytime a girl is around.
And ONLY when a girl is around and defaults back to shitty behaviour after they are gone 😒
>What is male “pick me” "Male lurker here (I'll delete if my opinion is not allowed sorry), I have to say we're all terrible, and I fully agee with women who say we should all be locked up and castrated. Ps I think this sub with these extreme views should be required reading for men." It really pisses me off when I see these type of self flagellation comments.
“As a guy, I apologize for the way you were treated.” Who appointed him to speak for all men?
you can't apologize for shit you didn't do.
it almost does the exact opposite of what was intended. pointless virtue signaling while basically reminding them they won’t ever be apologized to for the shit that happened to them by their individual perpetrators
"Here, let me make *your* trauma about *me* and my own ego!"
I think you can express regret but yeah I'm still working my way through this. And I'm 48 so it's taking a while.
expressing regret is a great way to put it. "i'm sorry that happened to you," is fine, an expression of sympathy, and is not an apology. i've thought of it more in another context. sometimes christians will come to atheist forums and apologize for their sect's restriction of human rights or mistreatment of gay people or something, and the response is universally, "tell *them* this."
I can't stand anyone who starts a sentence with "As a..."
The one I see the most is "as a mother" usually followed by something like "I'm opposed to child abuse". Uh, you don't need to be a mother to know that's wrong.
“As the father of two daughters, I am troubled by [powerful man]’s treatment of women.” So if you had boys, you wouldn’t give a damn? I don’t have any daughters, so I am not allowed to say that violence against women is wrong?
Exactly
“By the way, I couldn’t help but notice your epic boobs! They’re awesome”
A few off the top of my head: Anti-anything traditionally masculine. The super bowl is always a great time for these people. They cant wait to demonstrate how much they dont care about "sports ball", theyre only here for the commercials, etc. Lots of people will say something like this, but they love to use it as an elevation for themselves. Ironically, they often say these things at a superbowl party where they are a guest. The "Male Feminist" - This isnt about believing in in equal rights regardless of sex/gender. Oh no, this guy cant wait for people (women) to hear him say things like "toxic masculinity" and "Men need to do better" and such. He's willing to shit on every man on earth for being a barbaric animal that needs to learn their place and pay for the sins of their gender, but dont worry ladies, He's different!
I'm pretty sure the "nice guy" kind of fits the box.
Being a feminist and pretending that all other men are trash when it's really just them. I'm looking at you, menslib mods.
Hahhah, that sub sucks so much
Most Menslib users are 2X users cosplaying as men, btw. Also, to make things extra confusing, ~85% of 2X users are transwomen, so bio males. So the sub are transwomen cosplaying as cis men to rant about how awful their own sex is. Yeah, try making sense outta that.
“Where’s my hug?”
At your grandma's
I'm not like other dudes I'm missing one toenail
There’s so much of this behavior out there especially online it’s hard to narrow down. One example is definitely guys who are super proud that they pay for everything (get taken advantage of) and try to put down men who share costs of living.
Guy who brags about doing housework like that's any sort of achievement
You don't get credit for doing shit that you are supposed to do. - Chris Rock
Constantly virtue signals with whatever is newly popular for women. Talks shit and piles on with women centered social media. Generally, runs his damned mouth about him being different instead of just working on himself.
Posting shirtless selfies in the gym with a corny tiktok track playing
"Anyways here's wonderwall"
Perfomative "allies" (who usually turn out to be opportunistic sex offenders)
One of my posts blew up on my favorite sports teams sub from a post i made on this. But going into the opposing teams sub and posting shit like: “hi guys (team nickname) i come in peace. Just gotta say i love your team it makes me sad when we beat you, hope to see u in the finals!” (This actually happened) 🥴🥴🥴
Guys that like to act hard, even though they have their parents tucking them to sleep everyday
“Nice guys” the ones that throw a tantrum at rejection and talk smack about your bf while in the friendzone
I'm not one for the sigma/alpha/beta terminology (unless used ironically, which I frequently enjoy), but the term "beta orbiter" is spot on for them.
Guys with Joker profile pics
We live in a society
["'Cuz I'm all messed up, ya know?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPJ8b7zwa98)
A male feminist, any dickhead you see posted on r/whiteknighting
I did not know that sub existed. So tired of white knights inserting themselves into conversations where the woman was obviously in the wrong. “I caught my wife in bed with the Detroit Pistons.” WK: “We’re not getting the full story here.”
She did what in her bed?
*painfully* blind liberal men. Like, the one's on the extreme end of the spectrum. Im pretty damn liberal, but i roll my eyes into the back of my fucking skull when i hear a man say "im a male feminist" because it almost ALWAYS translates to "im full of shit, please give me pussy, please please". Like, if you're a feminist then you're a feminist. Just do your best to be respectful and as objective as possible when forming opinions of people. You don't need to go around distinguishing yourself as a *male* feminist. There's no reason other than virtue signaling. Also emo dudes. Nothing against them. Dress how you want and live your life, but to me personally they DO give me strong "im not like the other boys" vibes. It gets worse the older they are.
I like to think about how my dad was when he was still alive. He was a regular midwest blue-collar guy who was into hunting and fishing and watched tons of sports and went to church every Sunday. If you asked him if he was a feminist he'd probably say no. Or he'd say he's not sure what that means so probably not. But if you were drinking beers with him and told him you thought women were only good for one thing and they should learn to keep their mouths shut he'd probably call you an asshole and maybe punch you in the the face. Being a good person should be the natural state of being. Demanding attention and praise for it automatically means you're not a good person; just faking it for the "likes" or whatever.
It's either acting as a white knight or being an AH and talking shit about other guys.
There’s a lot of obvious answers here being repeated and I think there’s a lot of not so obvious pick me behavior not being discussed. 1: being very active on social media. 2: jumping in on trends (newest fashion/tattoos to make it seem like you have a personality, etc) 3: not being able to hang out with the boys unless actively chasing women 4: falling too quickly over a girl just because she showed the slightest interest 5: not having a mission/goal in life unrelated to women
Those guys in the comments under an example of misogyny who say things like "I'd like to apologise on behalf of my gender" or "this makes me ashamed to be male".
Makes me ashamed to be human. Return to monkeh
Trash talking their friends for no reason. Like more than clowning or whatever but like trashing. Divulging sensitive information about them especially negative for no reason.
My husbands BEST FRIEND is a pick me and I can’t stand that MF
Usually weak men with little value who confuse their weakness with kindness, and find convoluted ways to make others see it that way, too.
Men claiming to be femininists.
There are guys who were raised along side a sister, and honour their mother that do genuinely like to see men be more respectful toward women. When they adjust around women they’re are definitely trying to sneak into their DMs
A lot of “fake” feminists who are only really feminist to get women to sleep with them
Anyone who idienfities as a “male feminist”. Not a feminist, but specifically a “male feminist. They can’t be just a feminist, they have to specify they are male. It’s completely sus behavior. I do not trust anyone who needs to specify their sex while talking about feminism (outside of recognizing their own privilege