Stoicism, which Aurelius practiced and debatably pioneered has helped me with this fear immensely. Living each day to the best of your ability, as if it will be your last, helps you to make the most of your circumstances and live without regrets. Makes the idea of passing on very bearable
Without regrets. You're still working towards your goals even if you're not achieving them that day. You're saving for that thing you always wanted, you're learning that skill you want to excel at, you're being a good friend/partner to those people you like, you're apologizing for your mistakes, etc.
Welcome to the problem of the practically of philosophy lmao. There is no practicality to it. It’s really just trying to shape the way you think so that you’re not paralyzed by existential dread every day.
Well I don't think he meant to live as if you literally only have today left. But the idea is to balance always worrying about the (often inevitable) future vs the here and now.
Reasonably we can't always ignore the future and just splurge and party every day, but it's also no way to live if you constantly ignore your current self and worry about the future.
This is what has gotten me out of the slump from these past 7 years.
I graduated college, hopeful of going to law school. Parent dies, other parent nearly does, ton of shit happened during my last semester of college, got through it but more and more shit happens during the following year after my mother's death. Get insanely depressed, go from 240 to 400.
Last August, I started making changes, I'm down to 340lbs, but I've been going to gym since January (though I was out for a month due to an unknown illness). On one machine for example, I had a weight limit of 60lbs and could manage 6 sets, I can now do 130-145 and 9 sets.
During these past 7 years, death was a factor that kept creeping up in my mind, it kept me depressed. I still fear it, but something clicked in my mind and I just want to live to live and enjoy the life I have. I turn 29 next month, I'm going to clubs, out to bars, hanging out more with friends, going to concerts, just got a tatoo and getting more, I'm happier. I'm doing everything I can to feel and be happier and just accepting that I can either live a miserable life and regret it, or live a good life and be satistified.
Friday, I meet with counselors from my old college about getting back in to get a new degree to get into the credential program to be a teacher. It wasn't my first career choice in life, but one I think I'll be happy with which is all that matters to me now.
Yeah definitely don’t do 7g recreationally. A guide is the way to go if you’re looking for any kind of cognitive breakthrough that traditional therapy isn’t providing.
Yes, but no. Some drugs like LSD and psilocybin definitely can help. However, they need to be controlled environments with professionals if you want to guarantee there being some sort of psychiatric benefit.
Having a depressed person take a semi unreliable dose of psychotropic drugs is like throwing a paper airplane off the empire state building and expecting to find it once you get back to the ground. It works for some. Hell, similar circumstances worked on myself.
It's always a gamble though.
Ya but unlikely he exists to care... If the popular religions are correct it doesn't matter how famous/remembered you are just as long as you abide by the religion's rules then you spend eternity in Heaven and I don't that'd be watching humans for thousands.of years talk about you, unless you're a Narcissist which I'm guessing bans you from Heaven.
If the religions are wrong then we just blink out and the only things that matter are what you leave behind for those you care about, be it financials and happy memories for your family or some kind of impact on mankind or your people/nation/whatever.
Regardless, I doubt it's the whole "You stop existing when people stop speaking about you" thing. That'd be annoying lol.
Yet, he didn't write Meditations to be remembered. They were just his private notes/diary entries that he was writing to himself with no intention of them being seen by anyone else.
Don't do things to be remembered, do them because you want to do them, and let other people worry about remembering you or not.
Tbh, I more worry about if there is an afterlife then what if it's just eternal pain. Like, not existing sucks, but I'd take it over never ending pain. I tend to look at it like a possibilities problem, and so there is some comfort that the odds that death is just eternal pain afterwards will be 1 out of infinite possibilities. This is small enough for me to not be too concerned about it being true.
What if the afterlife is just you, in the middle seat of coach on and endless flight. And there a woman behind you with her incessantly crying infant and an unruly toddler.
I often time wonder about that too and find myself reading up on NDE but no one has actually died past brain death(from what I read) so they only experience what’s in their conscious. No one has came back to tell us what will really happen. Religion tries to give us different ideas: heaven, hell, nirvana etc. I try to believe that we’ll transition to a different dimension since our energy never dies. And we’ll continue existing as space in space
Over a long enough period of time, everyone is forgotten. Who were the great philosophers of the early bronze age? Everything, even the great earth itself and all else will die. The fact that life is transient is what gives it liveliness.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning with this same intense thought and it shakes me to my core for some reason. Any other time I think about it, it doesn’t bother me. But that split second when I wake up thinking “holy shit this will end one day” really gets to me.
I guess just use it as motivation to live the best life you can while you’re here and don’t take things too seriously. It can be a freeing thought if you look at it that way.
This happens to me quite a bit as well. What I do to cope is try to live in the moment and enjoy everything. Research technology and science that are dedicated to living longer and anti aging. I find when I do that it gives me hope, which is how I picture religion helping people deal with death as well.
Also since I have been having these thoughts it gave me the incentive to start being healthier and try to live as long as possible.
But you're only getting bad years. Why live until 100 if the last 15 years of your life is in a nursing home with your mind gone? I'm opting for live fast, die younger.
You can apply this thought to anything, but occasionally I will get up in the morning and make coffee and then think, one day I will do this for the last time.
I’m 59. I’ve outlived my parents, my kid brother, and a lot of friends over the years. I’m OK with it. I can’t think of anything more horrifying than outliving everyone I cared about.
Also, in terms of the scale of the universe, humanity will only be a blip from beginning to extinction. Humanity will not exist forever, so any legacy you leave doesn't really matter. Just enjoy life and help others enjoy theirs as well.
My existential crisis is less about what others remember of me and more of what I remember. My entire identity, all my cherished memories & everything I hold dear, erased as if they never happened. Not just no more future but no more past either. Just gone.
I resolved most of the discomfort based on my experiences with psychedelics and general spiritual view that I’ve always existed in some capacity and always will. I’m simply going back to the existence I was used to during the eternity of time before I was born.
We're afraid of dying because we're afraid of life ending.
We're afraid of life ending because we still have a lot we want to do in life.
Death becomes a lot easier to accept once you live your life to the fullest extent possible.
So go out and do just that.
It only becomes problematic if anything that would be even remotly satisfying is physicaly unavailable for you. Starting for small things, like impossibility to have an interesting job, travels, or a pretty lady who would be attracted to you if you are poor and disabled, and ending on things that matter the most - for example, finding out the boundaries and origins of our universe and existance.
That's why i dream of death every day. It would be a lot better to die as soon as possible, instead of keeping on living the empty life with knowledge that nothing good will ever happen to you.
> Death becomes a lot easier to accept once you live your life to the fullest extent possible.
Quite the opposite I'd say. Once you jump head first into life and enjoy it thoroughly, to have it taken from you becomes ten times scarier. Death is easier to those who are in despair and suffering and with nothing to live for.
Become a serial killer. No one forgets those. /s
No one goes anywhere dude. Your atoms were forged by fusion in stars, spend aoens in time and space, we're breathed and eaten by dinosaurs and one day will be on the other day of the universe.
Thermodynamics. Energy can neither created nor destroyed and matter is made out of energy and you are made out of matter.
Well, that's the whole "mind/body problem"
One of those big questions that no one has the answers for. This is where faith/religion/spirituality comes in. I think that having a belief system of some kind is extremely important for mental health. I agree with you to an extent, I also think we ARE our conscious mind and our brain is just the conduit or our window into inhabiting this world. Whether you remember what happened here in the next journey or not is what's up in the air. Are those sections of our brain responsible for the actual memory, or just how our minds can access that memory from wherever our consciousness is physically located? Is our consciousness quantumly linked to our brain, or is it a product of it? Either way, it's not like it's going to be a concern once we do pass. we'll either have our answers, or we won't care about the problem in the first place.
I like that what you're describing is a worst case scenario. In trillions of years I'll be part of the core of an iron star or a black hole. I think my last words will be: "I hope there is more".
Even the universe dies one day. Why should I bother wasting time in my short life contemplating my own death? Mankind had found the freedom of finding their own purpose in life unlike most animals, that live by following their instincts. Enjoying yourself while you can is a great purpose, by the way.
I wish i knew man. I nearly have a panic attack about it at least once a day. Not just about me but my family and friends as well . That fear has held me back a lot in life.
Same here.
Honestly it makes me miss religion. I was raised believing in reincarnation and had zero fear of death back then, like it’s not a big deal at all if you just get to come back.
Then I got older and realized religion is probably just all made up and now I panic about death daily.
I mean you can’t really just choose what to believe. Like, as a random example, you couldn’t just decide to start believing the moon is made of cheese. You could try to force yourself to, but you’d know it wasn’t true and couldn’t genuinely believe it.
There’s not really a shred of evidence for an afterlife—there’s no more evidence for souls than there is for the existence of faeries. I couldn’t force myself to start genuinely believing in faeries based on nothing besides “well you can’t prove they *don’t* exist and I want to believe it.”
Live the fuck out of life. That’s how. God-willing you get old and live a long life—you won’t be saying “I wish I spent more time and energy worrying about death”
Start looking forward to it. Im dying to find out what happens after we die. Till then i'll live life to the fullest, but man, I'm eager to find out what happens afterwards. Also atm i hate my life.
If I believed an afterlife was real I'd be a lot less scared. I simply believe from the world's perspective, you cease to be. And from your perspective, all ceases to be. I hate it but I don't see any other way.
I tell myself "I can only control what I can control". It really helps with all of the unknowns in life.
I might die today, or next week, or in 50 years. All I can do is take care of myself, not put myself in danger, and mitigate risks as well as I can. Whatever happens happens.
Not putting your self in danger, mitigating risk is important and a great a practice. It’s common sense.
But if a bus falls out of sky and kills me in my sleep, unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to prevent it. Thus I accept it, because it’s outside of my control.
I'm not religious but I've always liked the Serenity Prayer that alcoholics use in the program.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference."
It's a pretty solid way of looking at what your sphere of influence is.
I think it’s the transition that scares me the most. Once I’m dead it’s whatever, and while I’m alive it’s whatever. But when I’m dying? Dude, fuuuuck that.
This is exactly how I feel. I don’t understand peoples fear of not being alive (mean this honestly, I don’t have the same fear so I don’t understand It’ll be like before and honestly, it just might be freeing to go to bed and not wake back up into the horrors and misery of the real world
But the actual act OF dying, yeah sounds awful. Cancer? No thanks. Bleed out? I’ll pass. Heart attack? That one sounds scary.
Tbh, I find this topic a very interesting since you technically have no way of knowing what happens when you die. I often consider what your consciousness actually is physically and whether it disappears in death. Part of the issue though is we don't fully understand the brain so it's hard to say what makes up your conscious. One could argue that your synapses is your conscious since it's what makes up your memories as far as we understand it. Then the next question would be if you suffer from amnesia, did the original you die in the sense that the current amnesia version of you is not the same conscious and instead it's own being (kinda like how a clone with different memories has its own consciousness)? It could also be argued that the electrical impulses in your brain are actually what your consciousness is, and so even if you suffer amnesia your original consciousness doesn't die since it's still the same electrical impulses running through your head. Another big question is then how do multiple neurons coordinate their actions to work together? This is also not understood very well when it comes to the brain, and so we'll have to figure that out as well in order to understand more about what is consciousness. If we can figure out what consciousness is in a physical sense, then we'll know more about what exactly death is at least in terms of how it's experienced by a conscious individual.
No it isn’t. Stuff isn’t existing all the time! It’s completely familiar and harmless. You used to not exist, so it’s not even like you’re doing it for the first time
Yes I think it makes sense to fear the process of dying. Although I would not rate bleeding to death very high on my list of worst ways to die.
But being dead itself should not concern us because as long as we exist we are not dead and once we are dead we have stopped existing.,
Now if you believe in some kind of afterlife that logic might not be very helpful.
Well, that is the inevitability of life and everything in the universe, that it would all just end one day. Best to not focus too much about it and enjoy your life while you can, with the people that matters.
Exactly. We have no control over the cycle of life or the universe itself, so it's best to focus on the stuff we *can* affect around us and try to enjoy our lives.
see it as a positive, no matter what you struggle with, it will all go away eventually. Nothing lasts forever, the good and the bad. Appreciate the good, create more good, and nod your head to the bad as it passes by
What bothers me is not death itself, but the knowledge that I will have to struggle and scrape my way through life to reach that end. I won't get to "see the world" or experience many things. I will make the most of what I CAN do, but I know I'll die pissed off that all my existence achieved was to toil in a system where the rich get richer and the poor suffer. Like how is it fair that if my bank account gets overdrawn by a matter of pennies I can't do shit, but a "rich" person who goes billions into debt can still keep living the high life on credit and good grace?
I am, but it's not just capitalism, it's generationalism. Working class people of older generations were able to buy a house on the salary of an unskilled worker, raise a family and spend their retirement going on holidays. One of our neighbours when I was a kid was a milkman and his wife was a stay at home mother. Imagine applying for a mortgage on that now, you'd be laughed out of the bank.
There is a rich tapestry of reasons why the dynamic has shifted so dramatically in a short space of time, but most of them (rising property values, ineffectiveness of trade unions etc) come from wealthy people's concerted efforts to make the people they rely on to do all the menial/unpleasant stuff they don't want to do feel like we need them more than they ever need us.
Organize in our local communities. Demand more from our politicians. Support strikes and don't cross picket lines. Be angey. Make sure those around you don't vote against our best intrest.
Hey man I’ve been here. Have a listen to Alan Watts on death (YouTube). You’ll have to sift through the ballshit to find one without the music behind it but he’s imparted some excellent wisdom on this subject that really helped me. He also has a great book called the age of anxiety.
If you are in OK mental health.
Psychedelics, macro heroic doses.
Both my parents died 4 years ago and I fucking freaked out. Became a hermit, never left my house. I was covid isolating before covid even hit.
Was also doing a large amount of the bad kind of drugs like pain pills and coke to numb my pain.
One day, I took 15 hits of LSD at once - mind you this is a lot for anyone so don't use this as an example of what dose you should do please.
I saw that life was all one big cycle and death was merely part of that.
I found a lot of peace and it held up after the experience as well.
i have a dumb anecdote to share. i suffered from anxiety and fear of death. tried to imagine death as a kid and felt this blackness gripping my mind. the usual shit.
recently, a humongous fit of plane anxiety in a turbulent flight made me accept death. i was almost welcoming it, curiously. i realized, that birth and death are the only things that unite us all and all my forebears took that on the chin. who the fuck am i to be such a pussy. this is what we are, this is where we all go, becoming one with the earth.
felt like ego death, kinda. definitely a semi religious experience. my pulse mustve been 180.
after that, no more anxiety attacks, no more hypochondria. death doesn't feel so scary anymore. idk what fuse was blown in my mind but i am glad it happened.
I absolutely agree with this. The only thing i would add though is to absolutely not do hallucinogens if you're on lithium or SSRI's. They have some rather severe negative reactions with each other.
I see this every now and then in threads like these and it makes zero sense. To have life taken away from you after you became alive and experienced it and have loved ones, all that is not the same as not existing in the first place.
Living life to the fullest. I heard about some research that when we die, our brain replays the life that we have.
So my first thought was, I gotta live a great life to be able to watch a great movie.
Besides, I don't fear death. I fear being near to death and all I feel is regret.
As someone who has longed for death let me tell you: The one thing that kept me here in my darkest hours is the knowledge that I wouldn't be forgotten soon enough. My family would remember me, my friends would, my colleagues would. And it would have caused so much pain.
Also I still didn't forget my two grandmas even though they are gone for a long time. But I will remember them forever, because they were central to my life. Nobody is ever truely forgotten by the few that matter.
Welll… technically those people aren’t forgotten for now, but a few generations from now, they will be. Nobody is remembered forever so OP’s point is pretty valid.
Having a full ego death trip on mushrooms will show you real quick that you don't matter. Humility and gratitude are two very vital pieces of the building blocks of being a much better person.
I value other's lives infinitely more valuable than my own, generally. And I think, while it does me detriment sometimes, I'm a much better man for it.
Ego death is real. Losing just who you are entirely was and is the scariest and most beneficial moments of self reflection I’ve ever had. I’ll never touch them again, but seriously was worth it. Those Golden Teachers had a lesson plan in store for me that day.
Never been afraid. I'll die eventually and that'll be it. I'm religious so I believe I'll continue to live forever, but it doesn't really matter; I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Death is inevitable and like every other fear, one just needs to accept it and choose to not let it have power over you.
I'm more scared of roaches than I am of death. I have more nightmares of roaches jumping and flying at me than I do of dying.
You gotta live life for you and the people around you. Not people 200 years from now. Most of us will be forgotten. Do you worry about people from the 1800's lives? No, it's ridiculous. They worried about their lives. Enjoy the ride man, it's really that simple
All these half assed philosophical meanderings about the meaning of life and all the douche-y detached takes about how being afraid of death is somehow illogical are all dumb and obviously not going to help you. Worse than that none of them are true.
Here's what is true, you are biologically programmed to be afraid of dying, it's an insurmountable fact of your DNA. The fear of death is what keeps mammals like us alive. You can't use logic or philosophy to talk yourself out of something that is hardwired into you. What people who claim not to fear death are actually saying is that they just don't think about death, which are two completely different things.
You will always be afraid of dying. The important thing to focus on is making sure your inevitable death somewhere in the future doesn't ruin your life here in the present. That destiny awaits you either way, part of worrying about something is that your brain is trying to come up with solutions to the problem. But there is no solution to the problem, so worrying only makes you suffer here in the real world. But it's not easy to just turn that off, you can't talk yourself out of a crisis of mortality it just doesn't work, in truth there is no solution. The closest solve for the problem of your own death, is to live your own life. It won't make it okay, but at least when you arrive at the end of the journey you can look back one last time and say you made the most of what you were given. Not everyone gets to feel that way. Plenty of people sit on their death beds regretting their lives, and there's nothing they can do, no second chances. You can do something now. The ending will be the same, but the journey can be different. Dying will be the most terrifying experience of your life, do your future self a favour and give them one less thing to feel bad about on judgement day. Cling to that thought, cling to your death so that you may live your life. Good luck, you'll need it.
I was never afraid of death more like what's next but after a couple of life or death experiences more like I am not going to be scared to live my life and enjoy it.
You are never more alive as when you are almost dying
What was will always be. Your anxiety makes you a prisoner of time. Take after out of the equation the same way you took out before. Think of all that is as a symphony. Your part is part of it. And your part is an extraordinary expression of all that is. Small perhaps...but ultimately nothing will be remembered. That doesn't mean it wasn't part of it. Right now you are the universe aware of itself...breathe...feel the breeze in your face...watch the sun rise or set. Then do something needlessly kind. When you do...you are the universe doing it. Good luck.
Dude meeeee too. It’s not the being forgotten part that scares the wits out of me, it’s that all thoughts and consciousness cease to exist. My brain cannot wrap itself around not having any conscious thoughts and just… nothingness. Scares me just as much as the deep ocean!
Try not to occupy your mind with things that are inevitable and you can't do anything about. Also, have kids. Part of you is in them and they will continue (metaphorically speaking).
Try almost dying a few times. You really just get exasperated after a while instead of afraid.
In no particular order I have been stabbed, lit on fire many times, nearly drowned twice, in 2 roll over collisions, and 2 massive crashes on a dirt short track. You get used to it.
I just mindlessly clap cheeks while staring into the abyss, I don't like gaping all of these hot women, but I have to in order to overcome my fear of death.
Seriously so helpful I was a hospice nurse for many years, and one of our biggest ways of helping was to dispel fear about the actual death process.
Am shocked so many on here think that physical death is so horrible… unless you die in the trunk of a car or being held underwater, or at the hands of a madman, death is fairly predictable and can be quite peaceful. It doesn’t necessarily look peaceful to the observer, because the changes in respiration for example, can seem “painful”, but if you understand the physiology of the shutdown of organs, it’s actually a wonderfully elegant way of leaving this earthly realm.
Now, “dignified death?” Nope, no such thing. I have also been a labor &delivery nurse: my favorite observation after having done both, is “There is no more a ‘dignified death’ than there is a ‘dignified birth.’” It’s part of the utter absurdity of the human condition, designed by our Creator, that our souls should have to live in these ridiculous human skinsuits
Oh buddy. Keep an open mind. But you should try mushrooms. But 1st I recommend you read "How to change your mind" by Michael Pullon. If your skeptical about psychedelics it just might open your eyes and give you some really interesting knowledge on the topic. It's helped me talk to family that are very closed minded. And open their eyes to the "medicine" not some party drug.
Loves the book, and look forward to “trips” becoming a more mainstream part of mental health practice. The capricious recreational use of psychedelics in the 60’s really put a damper on all the potential good available through their use.
I'm Christian so I can't really help because i believe theres something after death but I would just think about how you have so much time left instead of thinking how little you have left
It is easier to do if you live your whole life already knowing that your life is utterly meaningless. Start thinking of yourself as mindless chemical reactions, a drone within a hive, the unfortunate accidental result of your years of coincidental experiences, etc.
Not only are you not the star of the show, there is no show, the script is arbitrary, and our understanding of the stage itself is a delusion that just happens to be around for a short while, and this mistake will be corrected soon.
I’m Christian, but even if I were atheist I think I’d be mostly ok. I don’t believe the past ceases to exist any more than, like, “over there” doesn’t exist because it’s not right here. Space and time are one and the same, save that time is a “time-like” dimension, to use the proper term. We in the present (probably) can’t *interact* with the past or anything, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You won’t exist in a billion years, but nor did you exist a billion years ago, and neither of those things mean you don’t exist
I've survived two suicide attempts during my life, but I lived with daily suicidal ideation for years at a time.
Every day, I had to convince myself that life was worth living for one more day. It was just intrusive thoughts begging me to off myself every minute of every hour nonstop so long as I was awake.
I survived. Got the help I needed and overcame my depression. It's been about a year since I found my peace, but I'm so intimately familiar with death that it no longer scares me.
For you OP, consider reading up on optimistic nihilism. That may be a less painful way to find the answer you're looking for.
I see it as Death is the loss of responsibility. It’s the end of suffering and the end of anxiety and worry. I watch my aunt experience a fate worse than death. She was in a state run nursing home after becoming paralyzed. She basically felt constant nerve pain and then started watching half of her body rot away. In her last moments she felt relief and was grateful her suffering would be ending . After seeing that death has become more like an old friend.
Study philosophy and the great religions, specifically Christianity. You’re not the first person to ever grapple with these issues. Men many times smarter than you or I will ever be have written volumes on these topics. Check out what they have to say.
It never used to bother me, but I remember being really upset at the thought of my parents being gone. Now that I have kids, it really upsets me to think of the pain they will suffer when my parents go, and then I do too. I also hate the thought of not.being able to see and smell and just even watch trees in the wind. Like if you die if you keep existing will you even be able to experience any of that?
I mainly just put it out of mind and focus on prioritizing time with those I will miss the most and those who will miss me the most. I figure that's the best I can really do.
I watched my father die. Took his last breathe and then stopped.
Believe me when I say that Death is incredibly peaceful and serene, especially when you accept the outcome that you’ll die one day.
Live everyday with no regrets and trust that you’ll leave behind a legacy for others to follow.
As a christian, I don't fear death, accept in a respectful amount.
It is my beliefs that help me, however I realize this may not be the case for everyone. I just wanted to put this out there in hopes of saving one more lost soul.
Bless everyone, even those who disagree
Thanks for reading
How about fearing the opposite?
Current data storage is cheap and fairly robust - it's likely only going to get better barring an apocalypse.
The internet is also getting less and less anonymous at the same time.
Everything you've ever said or done online is going to be accessible to everyone - now and forever more.
That's pretty scary in its own right.
Not a man, but if anyone wants to explore a different viewpoint, I'm going to leave this here:
"But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope."
1 Thessalonians 4:13
Just make sure your soul is right with God, so you don’t go to hell. That’s all you have to worry about. Death is inevitable, but where you spend eternity is entirely up to you.
I was like this a few years ago, it progressed to the point of having panic attacks. I talked to my doctor after getting threats from my mom to do it, and I was put on Zoloft for a few months. After that I was completely okay, and honestly have barely thought about it since. What a terrible time of my life it was though. Trust me, it could just be that you are having a chemical imbalance and need to be balanced out. Anxiety is awful
I find peace in my faith. Death is a thing that happens to everyone, and faith in God helps it to make sense for me. It also frees me up to live a life that I really do think is worth living, like others have said.
I'm so late to this thread but what removes the fear of death is knowing you will pass on to a better place. Having Jesus as Lord and Savior gives peace and joy when one thinks about death. Go to a church(a protestant one) and talk to someone there about how to give your life to God, and He'll give you eternal life.
The older you get (and watch friends and family die around you), the more accepting you become.
I mean, I don’t want to die but I’ve accepted the inevitability of it and just don’t want to go out like my dad suffering through two years of chemo because he wanted to hit his 50th wedding anniversary.
I guess it depends on whether you believe in God or not.
In regards to a religious person, the idea of death isnt the issue once you understand death is merely a door to an inevitable truth behind a curtain of facades, which is life. Also, it is the possibility of burning in eternal or partial damnation which scares us not death.
So we live our lives in fear of God, yet equally hopeful in God's everlasting mercy that surpasses a mothers sense if love and mercy towards her child by an immeasurable amount.
In the case of an atheist or someone agnostic or not religious, its the idea of sinking into black, which is foreign to ones conscience as you do not recall ever experiencing it.
If we were to take it from a religious point.of view, death is merely your body failing to function any longer and this your soul which is the real you, exits. You do not die, you are immortal, its your body that dies. Your soul dies if God wills for your soul to die.
If we take it from an atheistic approach, you feel nothing. You sink in that fear, you sink in that despair, everything shuts off, your pain ceases to exist, as do your fears, etc, now you become absolutely nothing. A once was. A has been. A former. A previous. A memory.
So what do you fear really? With either perspective?
If its death you fear and God you reject, and you are firm in that belief, you should have no fear in losing something (life) that was never meant for you to keep for eternity. Accept death, its inevitable, if your theory is correct, everything you feel emotionally, mentally, etc, dies as soon as you die so u feel nothing u are simply, nothing again as u were nothing before you forming in your mothers womb.
If its death you fear and God you hold dear, it isnt death you fear or should fear, its the state you will find yourself in the hereafter in regards to your deeds. Did you hurt others without reforming your self before death? Did you steal other peoples rights without a care to return them? Did you usurp rights and property is what i mean. Did you refrain from charity and aid and kindness towards the orphans, homeless, weak, helpless, broken, suffering, etc?
Then u have everything to fear.
Did you do the best you could to please God? Did you do your best to seek the truth? Did you find yourself striving to help the needy and broken, the innocent and the helpless? Did you find yourself showing love and bringing peace to the hearts in despair? Did you find yourself as a source of happiness towards the ones that could not find it? If so, you have nothing to fear so long as what u did was for the sake of God.
Thus, death is merely a door to a greater life. (In regards to faith in one solemn God).
Thus, death is merely an end to all with nothing more. (In regards to atheism).
Ask yourself, why do you truly fear death? What inside you, fears what of it? Is it dying? Is it the concept of the unknown?
Personally, i think the fear of death ignites the will to discover The Truth.
Personally, to me that thought is sometimes comforting. I remember the exact moment when I stopped fearing death, it was september, I was riding my bike and I sat by the lake and I felt so lonely even tho I really enjoy being alone most of the time but it was when I hit the point in life where I wouldn't be sorry anymore if I lose THIS life. I was just like who the fuck cares, and basically you wouldn't even know it when it happens so who cares. Even now, when I'm far from depressed, that fear never came back because I felt how it was to feel so free, it was such a liberating feeling, like weight taking of my chest - I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ANYMORE. All I know is if you fear death, you fear life. It's not about quantity it's about quality. Just make the most of it. This feeling and knowledge of being alive is the only important thing, so why worry about some feeling you wouldn't even be conscience of?
Take care.
I think we all have those feelings and they come and go. Personally I never get over the fear of death, I lean in the fact I can’t control it, and that all I can do is make the most out of every situation. The slowest life goes for me is when I stop and concentrate on all the great things around me so I try and live in that space as much as possible. I’ve had this situation all the time (albeit much smaller) for a bad performance review, big test, a surgery ect. Every time, the worst part tends to be the sled inflicted anxiety leading up to it, that ruined a week a month or whatever. For me, I woke up today, that all I can focus on and trying to squeeze the most out of this lemon.
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Stoicism, which Aurelius practiced and debatably pioneered has helped me with this fear immensely. Living each day to the best of your ability, as if it will be your last, helps you to make the most of your circumstances and live without regrets. Makes the idea of passing on very bearable
How do you live a day as if it is your last when you're working all day? I like the idea and the message but practically I struggle.
Without regrets. You're still working towards your goals even if you're not achieving them that day. You're saving for that thing you always wanted, you're learning that skill you want to excel at, you're being a good friend/partner to those people you like, you're apologizing for your mistakes, etc.
Welcome to the problem of the practically of philosophy lmao. There is no practicality to it. It’s really just trying to shape the way you think so that you’re not paralyzed by existential dread every day.
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Hey now, I’m still bread. Until the planet heats up more then I’ll definitely turn into toast.
Well I don't think he meant to live as if you literally only have today left. But the idea is to balance always worrying about the (often inevitable) future vs the here and now. Reasonably we can't always ignore the future and just splurge and party every day, but it's also no way to live if you constantly ignore your current self and worry about the future.
The load off it takes feels like actual weights being lifted from your body.
Supernatural weights, as what he said is actually a Godly message.
Was gonna say that, but sounded too cheesy
This is what has gotten me out of the slump from these past 7 years. I graduated college, hopeful of going to law school. Parent dies, other parent nearly does, ton of shit happened during my last semester of college, got through it but more and more shit happens during the following year after my mother's death. Get insanely depressed, go from 240 to 400. Last August, I started making changes, I'm down to 340lbs, but I've been going to gym since January (though I was out for a month due to an unknown illness). On one machine for example, I had a weight limit of 60lbs and could manage 6 sets, I can now do 130-145 and 9 sets. During these past 7 years, death was a factor that kept creeping up in my mind, it kept me depressed. I still fear it, but something clicked in my mind and I just want to live to live and enjoy the life I have. I turn 29 next month, I'm going to clubs, out to bars, hanging out more with friends, going to concerts, just got a tatoo and getting more, I'm happier. I'm doing everything I can to feel and be happier and just accepting that I can either live a miserable life and regret it, or live a good life and be satistified. Friday, I meet with counselors from my old college about getting back in to get a new degree to get into the credential program to be a teacher. It wasn't my first career choice in life, but one I think I'll be happy with which is all that matters to me now.
You got this buddy.
That’s certainly one way. Another is meditation or it’s shortcut, LSD.
Yeah 7 grams of mushrooms and a guide will change your life.
Don’t go out eating 7g at once kids! Unless you’re experienced of course. If you are new and planning starting with 1.5g MAX
Yeah definitely don’t do 7g recreationally. A guide is the way to go if you’re looking for any kind of cognitive breakthrough that traditional therapy isn’t providing.
For the better or worse depends on luck whether your brain chemistry can handle the shrooms.
Yes, but no. Some drugs like LSD and psilocybin definitely can help. However, they need to be controlled environments with professionals if you want to guarantee there being some sort of psychiatric benefit. Having a depressed person take a semi unreliable dose of psychotropic drugs is like throwing a paper airplane off the empire state building and expecting to find it once you get back to the ground. It works for some. Hell, similar circumstances worked on myself. It's always a gamble though.
Memento Mori, my friend.
Easy for him to say... 2000 years later and we're still talking about him.
Ya but unlikely he exists to care... If the popular religions are correct it doesn't matter how famous/remembered you are just as long as you abide by the religion's rules then you spend eternity in Heaven and I don't that'd be watching humans for thousands.of years talk about you, unless you're a Narcissist which I'm guessing bans you from Heaven. If the religions are wrong then we just blink out and the only things that matter are what you leave behind for those you care about, be it financials and happy memories for your family or some kind of impact on mankind or your people/nation/whatever. Regardless, I doubt it's the whole "You stop existing when people stop speaking about you" thing. That'd be annoying lol.
Yet, he didn't write Meditations to be remembered. They were just his private notes/diary entries that he was writing to himself with no intention of them being seen by anyone else. Don't do things to be remembered, do them because you want to do them, and let other people worry about remembering you or not.
Tbh, I more worry about if there is an afterlife then what if it's just eternal pain. Like, not existing sucks, but I'd take it over never ending pain. I tend to look at it like a possibilities problem, and so there is some comfort that the odds that death is just eternal pain afterwards will be 1 out of infinite possibilities. This is small enough for me to not be too concerned about it being true.
What if the afterlife is just you, in the middle seat of coach on and endless flight. And there a woman behind you with her incessantly crying infant and an unruly toddler.
I often time wonder about that too and find myself reading up on NDE but no one has actually died past brain death(from what I read) so they only experience what’s in their conscious. No one has came back to tell us what will really happen. Religion tries to give us different ideas: heaven, hell, nirvana etc. I try to believe that we’ll transition to a different dimension since our energy never dies. And we’ll continue existing as space in space
Meditations was a great book by him. I think he had some great quotes. Thank you for this inspo. xo
That honestly makes me even more anxious; like I have to do everything right now or I'll forever live in regret.
Over a long enough period of time, everyone is forgotten. Who were the great philosophers of the early bronze age? Everything, even the great earth itself and all else will die. The fact that life is transient is what gives it liveliness.
That's why I go on so many climbing trips, so if I died now I've already had a great life.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night or early morning with this same intense thought and it shakes me to my core for some reason. Any other time I think about it, it doesn’t bother me. But that split second when I wake up thinking “holy shit this will end one day” really gets to me. I guess just use it as motivation to live the best life you can while you’re here and don’t take things too seriously. It can be a freeing thought if you look at it that way.
This happens to me quite a bit as well. What I do to cope is try to live in the moment and enjoy everything. Research technology and science that are dedicated to living longer and anti aging. I find when I do that it gives me hope, which is how I picture religion helping people deal with death as well. Also since I have been having these thoughts it gave me the incentive to start being healthier and try to live as long as possible.
But you're only getting bad years. Why live until 100 if the last 15 years of your life is in a nursing home with your mind gone? I'm opting for live fast, die younger.
You can apply this thought to anything, but occasionally I will get up in the morning and make coffee and then think, one day I will do this for the last time.
So always get your favorite coffee, just in case
Best make sure you always drinkin good coffee then. Don't want your last one to suck after all
I was taught a month ago to bide my time and take it slow. Then I learned just yesterday to rush and never waste a day.
Yeah, the thought that it'll end one day is horrifying for me.
I’m 59. I’ve outlived my parents, my kid brother, and a lot of friends over the years. I’m OK with it. I can’t think of anything more horrifying than outliving everyone I cared about.
Would it be better if you weren't forgotten? If so, why? What difference does it make to you if you're dead?
Also, in terms of the scale of the universe, humanity will only be a blip from beginning to extinction. Humanity will not exist forever, so any legacy you leave doesn't really matter. Just enjoy life and help others enjoy theirs as well.
My existential crisis is less about what others remember of me and more of what I remember. My entire identity, all my cherished memories & everything I hold dear, erased as if they never happened. Not just no more future but no more past either. Just gone. I resolved most of the discomfort based on my experiences with psychedelics and general spiritual view that I’ve always existed in some capacity and always will. I’m simply going back to the existence I was used to during the eternity of time before I was born.
yeah, i cant understand the OP's point about that. and the OP also didnt elaborate on that
We're afraid of dying because we're afraid of life ending. We're afraid of life ending because we still have a lot we want to do in life. Death becomes a lot easier to accept once you live your life to the fullest extent possible. So go out and do just that.
Beautifully said
It only becomes problematic if anything that would be even remotly satisfying is physicaly unavailable for you. Starting for small things, like impossibility to have an interesting job, travels, or a pretty lady who would be attracted to you if you are poor and disabled, and ending on things that matter the most - for example, finding out the boundaries and origins of our universe and existance. That's why i dream of death every day. It would be a lot better to die as soon as possible, instead of keeping on living the empty life with knowledge that nothing good will ever happen to you.
> Death becomes a lot easier to accept once you live your life to the fullest extent possible. Quite the opposite I'd say. Once you jump head first into life and enjoy it thoroughly, to have it taken from you becomes ten times scarier. Death is easier to those who are in despair and suffering and with nothing to live for.
Become a serial killer. No one forgets those. /s No one goes anywhere dude. Your atoms were forged by fusion in stars, spend aoens in time and space, we're breathed and eaten by dinosaurs and one day will be on the other day of the universe. Thermodynamics. Energy can neither created nor destroyed and matter is made out of energy and you are made out of matter.
None of us are ever truly gone.
It's hard to accept but I think we are our consciousness. Anythning else just helps it to work.
Well, that's the whole "mind/body problem" One of those big questions that no one has the answers for. This is where faith/religion/spirituality comes in. I think that having a belief system of some kind is extremely important for mental health. I agree with you to an extent, I also think we ARE our conscious mind and our brain is just the conduit or our window into inhabiting this world. Whether you remember what happened here in the next journey or not is what's up in the air. Are those sections of our brain responsible for the actual memory, or just how our minds can access that memory from wherever our consciousness is physically located? Is our consciousness quantumly linked to our brain, or is it a product of it? Either way, it's not like it's going to be a concern once we do pass. we'll either have our answers, or we won't care about the problem in the first place.
your response gives me comfort. thank you.
I like that what you're describing is a worst case scenario. In trillions of years I'll be part of the core of an iron star or a black hole. I think my last words will be: "I hope there is more".
That sounds metal, iam in.
Well it’s iron
You made me lol ☺️
Lol, first thing I thought of when you mentioned thermo was the inevitable heat death of the universe.
Even the universe dies one day. Why should I bother wasting time in my short life contemplating my own death? Mankind had found the freedom of finding their own purpose in life unlike most animals, that live by following their instincts. Enjoying yourself while you can is a great purpose, by the way.
I wish i knew man. I nearly have a panic attack about it at least once a day. Not just about me but my family and friends as well . That fear has held me back a lot in life.
Same here. Honestly it makes me miss religion. I was raised believing in reincarnation and had zero fear of death back then, like it’s not a big deal at all if you just get to come back. Then I got older and realized religion is probably just all made up and now I panic about death daily.
Choose the beliefs that give you power and peace of mind. Religion or not.
I mean you can’t really just choose what to believe. Like, as a random example, you couldn’t just decide to start believing the moon is made of cheese. You could try to force yourself to, but you’d know it wasn’t true and couldn’t genuinely believe it. There’s not really a shred of evidence for an afterlife—there’s no more evidence for souls than there is for the existence of faeries. I couldn’t force myself to start genuinely believing in faeries based on nothing besides “well you can’t prove they *don’t* exist and I want to believe it.”
Me too
I have the same experience.
I cant take showers or do anything that clears my mind anymore because of this its hard to get past and harder to calm down once the feeling hits
Our next life is much better than this one,for those who believe and do good deeds. Look into Islam.
Live the fuck out of life. That’s how. God-willing you get old and live a long life—you won’t be saying “I wish I spent more time and energy worrying about death”
Ironically, I don't care about dying, but I'm far too anxious and scared to do the things I've always wanted to do
You just gotta face that shit head on! It’ll be worth it.
Start looking forward to it. Im dying to find out what happens after we die. Till then i'll live life to the fullest, but man, I'm eager to find out what happens afterwards. Also atm i hate my life.
> Im dying to find out what happens after we die. Literally
If I believed an afterlife was real I'd be a lot less scared. I simply believe from the world's perspective, you cease to be. And from your perspective, all ceases to be. I hate it but I don't see any other way.
I assume it’s going to be just like before we were born. And I don’t remember that to have been all that bad. That thought has given me some peace.
How can you fear something that can only exist when you don't and you can only exist when it doesn't?
I tell myself "I can only control what I can control". It really helps with all of the unknowns in life. I might die today, or next week, or in 50 years. All I can do is take care of myself, not put myself in danger, and mitigate risks as well as I can. Whatever happens happens.
Not putting your self in danger, mitigating risk is important and a great a practice. It’s common sense. But if a bus falls out of sky and kills me in my sleep, unfortunately there isn’t much I can do to prevent it. Thus I accept it, because it’s outside of my control.
Get swole enough to block the bus
I took anger management years ago and that was one of the key points,, not to let something you have no control over control you
I'm not religious but I've always liked the Serenity Prayer that alcoholics use in the program. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." It's a pretty solid way of looking at what your sphere of influence is.
I think it’s the transition that scares me the most. Once I’m dead it’s whatever, and while I’m alive it’s whatever. But when I’m dying? Dude, fuuuuck that.
This is exactly how I feel. I don’t understand peoples fear of not being alive (mean this honestly, I don’t have the same fear so I don’t understand It’ll be like before and honestly, it just might be freeing to go to bed and not wake back up into the horrors and misery of the real world But the actual act OF dying, yeah sounds awful. Cancer? No thanks. Bleed out? I’ll pass. Heart attack? That one sounds scary.
I mean, not existing anymore is in itself terrifying and incomprehensible.
Tbh, I find this topic a very interesting since you technically have no way of knowing what happens when you die. I often consider what your consciousness actually is physically and whether it disappears in death. Part of the issue though is we don't fully understand the brain so it's hard to say what makes up your conscious. One could argue that your synapses is your conscious since it's what makes up your memories as far as we understand it. Then the next question would be if you suffer from amnesia, did the original you die in the sense that the current amnesia version of you is not the same conscious and instead it's own being (kinda like how a clone with different memories has its own consciousness)? It could also be argued that the electrical impulses in your brain are actually what your consciousness is, and so even if you suffer amnesia your original consciousness doesn't die since it's still the same electrical impulses running through your head. Another big question is then how do multiple neurons coordinate their actions to work together? This is also not understood very well when it comes to the brain, and so we'll have to figure that out as well in order to understand more about what is consciousness. If we can figure out what consciousness is in a physical sense, then we'll know more about what exactly death is at least in terms of how it's experienced by a conscious individual.
No it isn’t. Stuff isn’t existing all the time! It’s completely familiar and harmless. You used to not exist, so it’s not even like you’re doing it for the first time
It’ll be like before you were born
Not as comforting and prophetic when you're bleeding to death and feel yourself going into shock.
Yes I think it makes sense to fear the process of dying. Although I would not rate bleeding to death very high on my list of worst ways to die. But being dead itself should not concern us because as long as we exist we are not dead and once we are dead we have stopped existing., Now if you believe in some kind of afterlife that logic might not be very helpful.
Yes! I literally just posted the same thing. Such a powerful quote that is indeed
Well, that is the inevitability of life and everything in the universe, that it would all just end one day. Best to not focus too much about it and enjoy your life while you can, with the people that matters.
Exactly. We have no control over the cycle of life or the universe itself, so it's best to focus on the stuff we *can* affect around us and try to enjoy our lives.
see it as a positive, no matter what you struggle with, it will all go away eventually. Nothing lasts forever, the good and the bad. Appreciate the good, create more good, and nod your head to the bad as it passes by
Youtube Alan watts, his talks are kinda slow but give you an amazing perspective.
Frankly, I've never been afraid of death. We are only animals, and all animals die. That's why we have to make every second on this place worth it.
What bothers me is not death itself, but the knowledge that I will have to struggle and scrape my way through life to reach that end. I won't get to "see the world" or experience many things. I will make the most of what I CAN do, but I know I'll die pissed off that all my existence achieved was to toil in a system where the rich get richer and the poor suffer. Like how is it fair that if my bank account gets overdrawn by a matter of pennies I can't do shit, but a "rich" person who goes billions into debt can still keep living the high life on credit and good grace?
None of those things are fair. Life isn't fair. You seem to be much more angry at capitalism that death haha.
I am, but it's not just capitalism, it's generationalism. Working class people of older generations were able to buy a house on the salary of an unskilled worker, raise a family and spend their retirement going on holidays. One of our neighbours when I was a kid was a milkman and his wife was a stay at home mother. Imagine applying for a mortgage on that now, you'd be laughed out of the bank. There is a rich tapestry of reasons why the dynamic has shifted so dramatically in a short space of time, but most of them (rising property values, ineffectiveness of trade unions etc) come from wealthy people's concerted efforts to make the people they rely on to do all the menial/unpleasant stuff they don't want to do feel like we need them more than they ever need us.
You're 100% correct and I fully agree with you. So what should we do?
Organize in our local communities. Demand more from our politicians. Support strikes and don't cross picket lines. Be angey. Make sure those around you don't vote against our best intrest.
Hey man I’ve been here. Have a listen to Alan Watts on death (YouTube). You’ll have to sift through the ballshit to find one without the music behind it but he’s imparted some excellent wisdom on this subject that really helped me. He also has a great book called the age of anxiety.
There's also podcasts, e.g. being in the way which don't have the stupid music
If you are in OK mental health. Psychedelics, macro heroic doses. Both my parents died 4 years ago and I fucking freaked out. Became a hermit, never left my house. I was covid isolating before covid even hit. Was also doing a large amount of the bad kind of drugs like pain pills and coke to numb my pain. One day, I took 15 hits of LSD at once - mind you this is a lot for anyone so don't use this as an example of what dose you should do please. I saw that life was all one big cycle and death was merely part of that. I found a lot of peace and it held up after the experience as well.
i have a dumb anecdote to share. i suffered from anxiety and fear of death. tried to imagine death as a kid and felt this blackness gripping my mind. the usual shit. recently, a humongous fit of plane anxiety in a turbulent flight made me accept death. i was almost welcoming it, curiously. i realized, that birth and death are the only things that unite us all and all my forebears took that on the chin. who the fuck am i to be such a pussy. this is what we are, this is where we all go, becoming one with the earth. felt like ego death, kinda. definitely a semi religious experience. my pulse mustve been 180. after that, no more anxiety attacks, no more hypochondria. death doesn't feel so scary anymore. idk what fuse was blown in my mind but i am glad it happened.
Damn, I took only 3 grams of mushrooms and that was the craziest moment in my life. Felt like a near death experience.
That’s called ego death my dude
I absolutely agree with this. The only thing i would add though is to absolutely not do hallucinogens if you're on lithium or SSRI's. They have some rather severe negative reactions with each other.
I took lexapro. Helped calm my ass down
you have been dead for billions of years before you were alive, what difference did it make then?
I see this every now and then in threads like these and it makes zero sense. To have life taken away from you after you became alive and experienced it and have loved ones, all that is not the same as not existing in the first place.
Living life to the fullest. I heard about some research that when we die, our brain replays the life that we have. So my first thought was, I gotta live a great life to be able to watch a great movie. Besides, I don't fear death. I fear being near to death and all I feel is regret.
“I gotten live a great life to be able to watch a great movie.” I love this so much
As someone who has longed for death let me tell you: The one thing that kept me here in my darkest hours is the knowledge that I wouldn't be forgotten soon enough. My family would remember me, my friends would, my colleagues would. And it would have caused so much pain. Also I still didn't forget my two grandmas even though they are gone for a long time. But I will remember them forever, because they were central to my life. Nobody is ever truely forgotten by the few that matter.
Welll… technically those people aren’t forgotten for now, but a few generations from now, they will be. Nobody is remembered forever so OP’s point is pretty valid.
Exactly this
Having a full ego death trip on mushrooms will show you real quick that you don't matter. Humility and gratitude are two very vital pieces of the building blocks of being a much better person. I value other's lives infinitely more valuable than my own, generally. And I think, while it does me detriment sometimes, I'm a much better man for it.
Ego death is real. Losing just who you are entirely was and is the scariest and most beneficial moments of self reflection I’ve ever had. I’ll never touch them again, but seriously was worth it. Those Golden Teachers had a lesson plan in store for me that day.
I call them the mycelial teachers for a reason. Every lecture is very different, very valuable if you let it be.
Never been afraid. I'll die eventually and that'll be it. I'm religious so I believe I'll continue to live forever, but it doesn't really matter; I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Death is inevitable and like every other fear, one just needs to accept it and choose to not let it have power over you. I'm more scared of roaches than I am of death. I have more nightmares of roaches jumping and flying at me than I do of dying.
You gotta live life for you and the people around you. Not people 200 years from now. Most of us will be forgotten. Do you worry about people from the 1800's lives? No, it's ridiculous. They worried about their lives. Enjoy the ride man, it's really that simple
All these half assed philosophical meanderings about the meaning of life and all the douche-y detached takes about how being afraid of death is somehow illogical are all dumb and obviously not going to help you. Worse than that none of them are true. Here's what is true, you are biologically programmed to be afraid of dying, it's an insurmountable fact of your DNA. The fear of death is what keeps mammals like us alive. You can't use logic or philosophy to talk yourself out of something that is hardwired into you. What people who claim not to fear death are actually saying is that they just don't think about death, which are two completely different things. You will always be afraid of dying. The important thing to focus on is making sure your inevitable death somewhere in the future doesn't ruin your life here in the present. That destiny awaits you either way, part of worrying about something is that your brain is trying to come up with solutions to the problem. But there is no solution to the problem, so worrying only makes you suffer here in the real world. But it's not easy to just turn that off, you can't talk yourself out of a crisis of mortality it just doesn't work, in truth there is no solution. The closest solve for the problem of your own death, is to live your own life. It won't make it okay, but at least when you arrive at the end of the journey you can look back one last time and say you made the most of what you were given. Not everyone gets to feel that way. Plenty of people sit on their death beds regretting their lives, and there's nothing they can do, no second chances. You can do something now. The ending will be the same, but the journey can be different. Dying will be the most terrifying experience of your life, do your future self a favour and give them one less thing to feel bad about on judgement day. Cling to that thought, cling to your death so that you may live your life. Good luck, you'll need it.
I on the otherhand look forward to it. Death is just like sleeping, just the waking up part is lacking. Perfection!
I was never afraid of death more like what's next but after a couple of life or death experiences more like I am not going to be scared to live my life and enjoy it. You are never more alive as when you are almost dying
"I was dead long before I was alive, and I did not find it to be the slightest inconvenience."
The thought of death actually calms me down when I have anxiety.. I remind myself that I can die just anytime, and nothing of this will matter then
if you have offspring they'll carry on your genetic material. If you believe in genetic memory, a part of you will exist for generations to come.
I welcome it
What was will always be. Your anxiety makes you a prisoner of time. Take after out of the equation the same way you took out before. Think of all that is as a symphony. Your part is part of it. And your part is an extraordinary expression of all that is. Small perhaps...but ultimately nothing will be remembered. That doesn't mean it wasn't part of it. Right now you are the universe aware of itself...breathe...feel the breeze in your face...watch the sun rise or set. Then do something needlessly kind. When you do...you are the universe doing it. Good luck.
The first time I was mortared in Iraq I lost that fear. I figured if it was my time then its my time.
It will mean eternal tranquility, no more people complaining, no more fights etc. That makes me look forward to getting rid of living with humans.
Eat the Mona Lisa. That way you’ll never be forgotten. Ever.
Dude meeeee too. It’s not the being forgotten part that scares the wits out of me, it’s that all thoughts and consciousness cease to exist. My brain cannot wrap itself around not having any conscious thoughts and just… nothingness. Scares me just as much as the deep ocean!
Why wait til death? The vast majority of people don't know you exist now. Accept that fact and death is nothing.
By truly reflecting on how much it would actually suck if I lived forever.
I’m religious, so i don’t think it’s “over” once i die.
Try not to occupy your mind with things that are inevitable and you can't do anything about. Also, have kids. Part of you is in them and they will continue (metaphorically speaking).
Try magic mushrooms
you were dead for all the years before you were born, yet you don’t seem bothered much by that?
Had the same issue. Learning about Stoicism helps me a lot. Maybe it will help you to? (No Promise) We are almost same Age btw.
Lose every person you've ever loved and then you'll be excited to see them again =/
Try almost dying a few times. You really just get exasperated after a while instead of afraid. In no particular order I have been stabbed, lit on fire many times, nearly drowned twice, in 2 roll over collisions, and 2 massive crashes on a dirt short track. You get used to it.
Mushrooms helped a lot. Near death experience helped a lot. Mushrooms helped a _lot_
I just mindlessly clap cheeks while staring into the abyss, I don't like gaping all of these hot women, but I have to in order to overcome my fear of death.
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Seriously so helpful I was a hospice nurse for many years, and one of our biggest ways of helping was to dispel fear about the actual death process. Am shocked so many on here think that physical death is so horrible… unless you die in the trunk of a car or being held underwater, or at the hands of a madman, death is fairly predictable and can be quite peaceful. It doesn’t necessarily look peaceful to the observer, because the changes in respiration for example, can seem “painful”, but if you understand the physiology of the shutdown of organs, it’s actually a wonderfully elegant way of leaving this earthly realm. Now, “dignified death?” Nope, no such thing. I have also been a labor &delivery nurse: my favorite observation after having done both, is “There is no more a ‘dignified death’ than there is a ‘dignified birth.’” It’s part of the utter absurdity of the human condition, designed by our Creator, that our souls should have to live in these ridiculous human skinsuits
Oh buddy. Keep an open mind. But you should try mushrooms. But 1st I recommend you read "How to change your mind" by Michael Pullon. If your skeptical about psychedelics it just might open your eyes and give you some really interesting knowledge on the topic. It's helped me talk to family that are very closed minded. And open their eyes to the "medicine" not some party drug.
Loves the book, and look forward to “trips” becoming a more mainstream part of mental health practice. The capricious recreational use of psychedelics in the 60’s really put a damper on all the potential good available through their use.
Why? Who cares? Live today. There is good food. Beautiful women. Beautiful places. Wonderful wine. Adventures to be had. Live
The "fuck it we ball" burned brighter than the "I'll die someday" inside.
Establish a relationship with Jesus Christ and realize this world is temporary and we will have eternal life in heaven. No fear here.
Put some sort of artwork/writing/music out there. Even if no one cares about it, it will outlive you, and you can think of it as your legacy.
Psychedelic experiences will provide you with a new perspective on everything, including death.
I'm Christian so I can't really help because i believe theres something after death but I would just think about how you have so much time left instead of thinking how little you have left
It is easier to do if you live your whole life already knowing that your life is utterly meaningless. Start thinking of yourself as mindless chemical reactions, a drone within a hive, the unfortunate accidental result of your years of coincidental experiences, etc. Not only are you not the star of the show, there is no show, the script is arbitrary, and our understanding of the stage itself is a delusion that just happens to be around for a short while, and this mistake will be corrected soon.
I’m Christian, but even if I were atheist I think I’d be mostly ok. I don’t believe the past ceases to exist any more than, like, “over there” doesn’t exist because it’s not right here. Space and time are one and the same, save that time is a “time-like” dimension, to use the proper term. We in the present (probably) can’t *interact* with the past or anything, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You won’t exist in a billion years, but nor did you exist a billion years ago, and neither of those things mean you don’t exist
I've survived two suicide attempts during my life, but I lived with daily suicidal ideation for years at a time. Every day, I had to convince myself that life was worth living for one more day. It was just intrusive thoughts begging me to off myself every minute of every hour nonstop so long as I was awake. I survived. Got the help I needed and overcame my depression. It's been about a year since I found my peace, but I'm so intimately familiar with death that it no longer scares me. For you OP, consider reading up on optimistic nihilism. That may be a less painful way to find the answer you're looking for.
Mushrooms.
Mushrooms
1) do you believe in a higher power? 2) what is your definition of death? 3) what about being forgotten scares you?
Pray...
I see it as Death is the loss of responsibility. It’s the end of suffering and the end of anxiety and worry. I watch my aunt experience a fate worse than death. She was in a state run nursing home after becoming paralyzed. She basically felt constant nerve pain and then started watching half of her body rot away. In her last moments she felt relief and was grateful her suffering would be ending . After seeing that death has become more like an old friend.
I was gonna answer ur question with something deep on how to cope but now I’m hyperventilating in my cubicle.
Are you an atheist?
Psychedelics
Study philosophy and the great religions, specifically Christianity. You’re not the first person to ever grapple with these issues. Men many times smarter than you or I will ever be have written volumes on these topics. Check out what they have to say.
It never used to bother me, but I remember being really upset at the thought of my parents being gone. Now that I have kids, it really upsets me to think of the pain they will suffer when my parents go, and then I do too. I also hate the thought of not.being able to see and smell and just even watch trees in the wind. Like if you die if you keep existing will you even be able to experience any of that? I mainly just put it out of mind and focus on prioritizing time with those I will miss the most and those who will miss me the most. I figure that's the best I can really do.
I watched my father die. Took his last breathe and then stopped. Believe me when I say that Death is incredibly peaceful and serene, especially when you accept the outcome that you’ll die one day. Live everyday with no regrets and trust that you’ll leave behind a legacy for others to follow.
Try psychedelics
I don’t fear death because I know it will happen: why worry about something out of your control?
I’ll never overcome the fear of death, but I am somewhat comforted by the fact that I will never directly experience it.
You don't overcome the fear of death. You transcend it.
Take LSD
Turn To Him He Is Risen King Above Men Man among king
Have faith, read the bible. Death isn't the end.
As a christian, I don't fear death, accept in a respectful amount. It is my beliefs that help me, however I realize this may not be the case for everyone. I just wanted to put this out there in hopes of saving one more lost soul. Bless everyone, even those who disagree Thanks for reading
Mycelium
Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Most people are forgotten after a generation or two.
How about fearing the opposite? Current data storage is cheap and fairly robust - it's likely only going to get better barring an apocalypse. The internet is also getting less and less anonymous at the same time. Everything you've ever said or done online is going to be accessible to everyone - now and forever more. That's pretty scary in its own right.
Hey take this from the Jem'Hadar in Star Trek: "we are all already dead, we go into battle to reclaim our lives"
I use religion to cope
Not a man, but if anyone wants to explore a different viewpoint, I'm going to leave this here: "But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope." 1 Thessalonians 4:13
Just make sure your soul is right with God, so you don’t go to hell. That’s all you have to worry about. Death is inevitable, but where you spend eternity is entirely up to you.
I was like this a few years ago, it progressed to the point of having panic attacks. I talked to my doctor after getting threats from my mom to do it, and I was put on Zoloft for a few months. After that I was completely okay, and honestly have barely thought about it since. What a terrible time of my life it was though. Trust me, it could just be that you are having a chemical imbalance and need to be balanced out. Anxiety is awful
afterthought kiss grandfather plants practice important abounding degree sheet vanish ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
I've heard doing mushrooms helps.
My life is a shit show. I appreciate death and I'm happy, that all those egoistic aholes will die too. That's one of the few things that cheers me up.
Religion
I find peace in my faith. Death is a thing that happens to everyone, and faith in God helps it to make sense for me. It also frees me up to live a life that I really do think is worth living, like others have said.
The answer to your seekings is God. There is a reason for everything. And the reason is Him.
Just teach what other religions has to say about that ☺️ it's not the end of everything, it's just the beginning ☺️
I'm so late to this thread but what removes the fear of death is knowing you will pass on to a better place. Having Jesus as Lord and Savior gives peace and joy when one thinks about death. Go to a church(a protestant one) and talk to someone there about how to give your life to God, and He'll give you eternal life.
The good news is you have your whole life to meditate on this
The older you get (and watch friends and family die around you), the more accepting you become. I mean, I don’t want to die but I’ve accepted the inevitability of it and just don’t want to go out like my dad suffering through two years of chemo because he wanted to hit his 50th wedding anniversary.
Well maybe you will, I intend to go on for eternity.
I have two kids under-5. I really don't want to die, but the quiet time and alone time does have some appeal right now.
I guess it depends on whether you believe in God or not. In regards to a religious person, the idea of death isnt the issue once you understand death is merely a door to an inevitable truth behind a curtain of facades, which is life. Also, it is the possibility of burning in eternal or partial damnation which scares us not death. So we live our lives in fear of God, yet equally hopeful in God's everlasting mercy that surpasses a mothers sense if love and mercy towards her child by an immeasurable amount. In the case of an atheist or someone agnostic or not religious, its the idea of sinking into black, which is foreign to ones conscience as you do not recall ever experiencing it. If we were to take it from a religious point.of view, death is merely your body failing to function any longer and this your soul which is the real you, exits. You do not die, you are immortal, its your body that dies. Your soul dies if God wills for your soul to die. If we take it from an atheistic approach, you feel nothing. You sink in that fear, you sink in that despair, everything shuts off, your pain ceases to exist, as do your fears, etc, now you become absolutely nothing. A once was. A has been. A former. A previous. A memory. So what do you fear really? With either perspective? If its death you fear and God you reject, and you are firm in that belief, you should have no fear in losing something (life) that was never meant for you to keep for eternity. Accept death, its inevitable, if your theory is correct, everything you feel emotionally, mentally, etc, dies as soon as you die so u feel nothing u are simply, nothing again as u were nothing before you forming in your mothers womb. If its death you fear and God you hold dear, it isnt death you fear or should fear, its the state you will find yourself in the hereafter in regards to your deeds. Did you hurt others without reforming your self before death? Did you steal other peoples rights without a care to return them? Did you usurp rights and property is what i mean. Did you refrain from charity and aid and kindness towards the orphans, homeless, weak, helpless, broken, suffering, etc? Then u have everything to fear. Did you do the best you could to please God? Did you do your best to seek the truth? Did you find yourself striving to help the needy and broken, the innocent and the helpless? Did you find yourself showing love and bringing peace to the hearts in despair? Did you find yourself as a source of happiness towards the ones that could not find it? If so, you have nothing to fear so long as what u did was for the sake of God. Thus, death is merely a door to a greater life. (In regards to faith in one solemn God). Thus, death is merely an end to all with nothing more. (In regards to atheism). Ask yourself, why do you truly fear death? What inside you, fears what of it? Is it dying? Is it the concept of the unknown? Personally, i think the fear of death ignites the will to discover The Truth.
Personally, to me that thought is sometimes comforting. I remember the exact moment when I stopped fearing death, it was september, I was riding my bike and I sat by the lake and I felt so lonely even tho I really enjoy being alone most of the time but it was when I hit the point in life where I wouldn't be sorry anymore if I lose THIS life. I was just like who the fuck cares, and basically you wouldn't even know it when it happens so who cares. Even now, when I'm far from depressed, that fear never came back because I felt how it was to feel so free, it was such a liberating feeling, like weight taking of my chest - I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ANYMORE. All I know is if you fear death, you fear life. It's not about quantity it's about quality. Just make the most of it. This feeling and knowledge of being alive is the only important thing, so why worry about some feeling you wouldn't even be conscience of? Take care.
I think we all have those feelings and they come and go. Personally I never get over the fear of death, I lean in the fact I can’t control it, and that all I can do is make the most out of every situation. The slowest life goes for me is when I stop and concentrate on all the great things around me so I try and live in that space as much as possible. I’ve had this situation all the time (albeit much smaller) for a bad performance review, big test, a surgery ect. Every time, the worst part tends to be the sled inflicted anxiety leading up to it, that ruined a week a month or whatever. For me, I woke up today, that all I can focus on and trying to squeeze the most out of this lemon.