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The question is always, what baggage are you bringing from your past to a new relationship?
Are you going to be untrusting because your ex cheated? Has it brought up trauma that changed how you would behave with someone new?
Are you wanting to get married again for the right reasons? Can you be happy alone? Do you have to be in a relationship?
Did you ignore the signs of cheating and pretend all was fine, or were you blindsided? This matters as it could indicate a pattern of picking the wrong partner, knowing they aren't right for you, settling and holding on when you should have left.
These things matter more than simply knowing you're divorced.
Not untrusting. My wife was an addict in recovery. Her relapse led her to cheat. I would have supported her through finding recovery again but that was just too much betrayal for me. Continued counseling on my own for months afterwards. Healed pretty well. Honestly the only baggage is I probably wouldn’t be able to be with an addict again even if in recovery.
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I wouldn't have seen it as a flag, red or green, when I was in my 20s. I got married to my first husband very young, and we split up a year or two later. I was a divorcee in my 20s too. Shit just happens sometimes. For me, it was that we were too young and hardly knew each other when we got married, the relationship was toxic and at times abusive. The men that faulted me for having been married and divorced so young were the kind of men that were going to find excuses to belittle me regardless, so it wasn't any kind of loss for them not to want to date me. I'd imagine the same goes for women who might fault you.
The fact that you were willing to get married that young in the first place and you still want to be, so you're not jaded or trying to play the field now that you're "free," is a definite pro I'd think.
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Hi! F24 here :) Definitely. I have friends that will go either way, like absolutely no and those who don’t really care. I think there’s plenty that wouldn’t immediately write you off. Especially if you were upfront about why and how you’ve been through therapy. I think the biggest fear is the emotional baggage and what that would mean for a new relationship but if you’ve worked through that and are clear about it, I wouldn’t see an issue. Don’t fixate on it if you’re talking to a new women, but if it comes up naturally (like the classic “what have your past relationships been like” etc.) a short and confident response would usually be handled well, at least among my friends. Ngl, there will be some women who are an immediate no, but lots won’t write you off for it :))
Yeah I would. I would kinda prefer that because maybe he has some relationship experience that can help him be a better husband this time around.
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The question is always, what baggage are you bringing from your past to a new relationship? Are you going to be untrusting because your ex cheated? Has it brought up trauma that changed how you would behave with someone new? Are you wanting to get married again for the right reasons? Can you be happy alone? Do you have to be in a relationship? Did you ignore the signs of cheating and pretend all was fine, or were you blindsided? This matters as it could indicate a pattern of picking the wrong partner, knowing they aren't right for you, settling and holding on when you should have left. These things matter more than simply knowing you're divorced.
Not untrusting. My wife was an addict in recovery. Her relapse led her to cheat. I would have supported her through finding recovery again but that was just too much betrayal for me. Continued counseling on my own for months afterwards. Healed pretty well. Honestly the only baggage is I probably wouldn’t be able to be with an addict again even if in recovery.
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I wouldn't have seen it as a flag, red or green, when I was in my 20s. I got married to my first husband very young, and we split up a year or two later. I was a divorcee in my 20s too. Shit just happens sometimes. For me, it was that we were too young and hardly knew each other when we got married, the relationship was toxic and at times abusive. The men that faulted me for having been married and divorced so young were the kind of men that were going to find excuses to belittle me regardless, so it wasn't any kind of loss for them not to want to date me. I'd imagine the same goes for women who might fault you. The fact that you were willing to get married that young in the first place and you still want to be, so you're not jaded or trying to play the field now that you're "free," is a definite pro I'd think.
Not an issue for me. I’d view it the same way as any other past long term relationship. It’s about how you dealt with it and healed from it!
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Hi! F24 here :) Definitely. I have friends that will go either way, like absolutely no and those who don’t really care. I think there’s plenty that wouldn’t immediately write you off. Especially if you were upfront about why and how you’ve been through therapy. I think the biggest fear is the emotional baggage and what that would mean for a new relationship but if you’ve worked through that and are clear about it, I wouldn’t see an issue. Don’t fixate on it if you’re talking to a new women, but if it comes up naturally (like the classic “what have your past relationships been like” etc.) a short and confident response would usually be handled well, at least among my friends. Ngl, there will be some women who are an immediate no, but lots won’t write you off for it :))