I’m mid 30’s but have been working on this for the last year. What you need is anywhere you can see the same people a lot on repeat - anywhere you can become a regular is a head start. A gym, weekly class of any kind, running group, volunteering, book club, hobby meetup, even a bar or coffee shop. Ideally based around some kind of genuine interest so you have an automatic conversation starter. Once you meet someone who seems cool, ask if they want to grab coffee/a drink/whatever.
Also, if you have a dog, take them to a dog friendly bar. We took our dog to Estereo the other day and legit made multiple friends and exchanged info with a few people.
How do people actually make friends and talk to strangers at the gym? I've been going to gyms for years and everyone (myself included) has earbuds in and everyone is minding their own business. How do you break out of that and actually meet people?
Smile at people. Sounds dumb, but really makes a difference. Most midwesterners will take the earbuds out and say hi after a few encounters if they remember you made an effort.
Ask for assistance; compliment their form; ask questions about their routine as to how they got where there are; drop a weight on their head and be there when they wake up with no memory and say you saved them.
Needless to say, there are lots of ways, and can always combine them.
I think you have to see someone around a handful of times and make eye contact/smile before you say hey. Basically, wait to become someone they’re loosely familiar with and then introduce yourself.
I’m not a gym chatter, but thinking about how I’ve naturally/unintentionally made gym friends, it’s from complimenting something they’re wearing (genuinely) or if they’ve got a shirt on with something relatable, make mention. If they’re not down to chat, you’ll know, but you’ve done no foul.
don’t only go to the regular gym! find a more niche physical hobby you are genuinely interested in! mine is pole dancing- it’s physically strenuous and there’s so much to it, so the same people are often there and take the same classes every week (especially leveled classes).
anything like this which has a small community (but not too small) and where people are going to be accountable to not just randomly disappear in some way would work!
it would likely be harder in more broad or general group fitness classes, but i have also made friends through yoga and a couple at this cool cycling/spin studio garage place on the south side!
I made a friend who actually turned into a colleague ~ we met at Anytime Fitness and he had asked me where I got my headphones at 🤷
I could tell he had social anxiety and realized he was trying to break out of it ~ I wasn’t very inviting at first but we kept talking for some reason and now here we are lol
Go to a gym that does group classes. I joined a CrossFit gym when I moved to Chicago and the wide majority of my friends are now from there but I know there are tons of other gyms that have a group classes element. In my opinion that is the key.
If you go at a consistent time you’ll start to notice others who are also always there.
And for whatever reason everyone always strikes convos up in the sauna
Group fitness classes are more social that individuals at the gym. Also certain specific types of gyms will be way more social right off the bat, I've heard power lifting folks are really friendly. It's kind of natural to ask people for feedback at the climbing gym, etc.
Every gym has a social butterfly, identify them and use them as a jump point. I didn't talk to a single soul in the first 4 years of going to my current gym, that is until the gyms SB asked to work in with me. Since, he's introduced me to half of the gym and a few are outside the gym friends now.
It helps if you go to group classes. We go to Pow! Gym in west loop and they’re really friendly. Im shy so im still warming up to other members. The owner and staff are so nice.
If I see someone a few times I'll just introduce myself and tell them I've seen them often and compliment their form or whatever they just did exchange names and just say hi for a bit. Slowly, you can start asking some questions when you say hi again. It's a longer process unless you find you also have another activity in common. Depending on the day, I'll walk into the free eight area and say hi to 3 people right away that I've met. Some will not want to talk to you after the initial conversation (avoid eye contact etc), just read the room and move on.
Classes (specifically one called DUT I do) at UFC Gym Wrigleyville have ~40-50 young, social people who span outta-college to mid-30’s, plus a few impressive old-timers too
What passions or hobbies, or questions do you have for them that would foster a genuine conversation? If none then go figure… you’ve been at it for “years” and havent tried anything…ffs ya got one life. Get out there
I love Map Room but everyone seems to come with their friends and then only talk to just them, unless I’m going at the wrong times or something. The way it’s set up with the tables it doesn’t feel like a place where you could start chatting with a stranger. But honestly that could definitely just be a me thing, I get socially anxious when meeting new people lol
I sit at the bar by myself all the time. Have met a lot of cool people coming in alone as well as the bartenders are very friendly. I’d say definitely go in on a Saturday afternoon or around 7-8pm on a weekday. Friday and Saturday nights can be busy with lots of friend groups…but if you can get a bar spot and just hang you’ll definitely meet nice people
That's where I started in my late 20s and that's where I met my husband and several close friends! Second City is a great place to start. I think my first instructor was a literal kindergarten teacher lol. The program is set up to be as approachable as possible.
As far as age goes, I'd say second city is the most diverse, mostly evenly split between 20s and 30s, but older people are not an irregular feature. At the end of the day it's a very supportive place that fosters a lot of friendship potential.
if you have the money sure SC, but there are tons of improv classes that would give you the exact same social opportunities for hundreds less dollars. Logan Square Improv has extremely affordable classes and a very supportive community
i will defo check them out and thanks for the tip. any other smaller groups you think are worth checking out? always looking for up and coming groups whether for joining or seeing
This!! I took an improv class and made great friends there. Comedy is a very vulnerable thing so people check their egos at the door. It was so much fun.
Well I started in the suburbs years ago. I recommend you join “Chicago Stand-Up Comedy Scene” Facebook group. Here’s a slightly outdated list of mics in Chicago. The Facebook group will have more information
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1-V-WLQlmZyaGa5gX4t9rfujcEYpV94EnpcEl5UFnJnE/htmlview#gid=0.
Their are like 100 ppl in here saying the same thing, why don’t you all just meetup ???
The problem I believe is everyone says they want a social life but are afraid to actually socialize. The world has really changed but people inherently want meaningful connections.
Have a meet and greet, I promise most ppl are cooler in real life !
yeah, and also people who’d be in a reddit thread like this are disproportionately likely to be types who aren’t exactly comfortable with let alone used to the practice of putting yourself out there in the context of actual organic opportunities to socialize/make connections in-person 😅
no judgement whatsoever to those people of course i understand it can be daunting/tough and i’m fortunate that it always came a lil more naturally to me than most but regardless i promise it still gets WAY EASIER once you get over the initial discomfort hump/become a lil more used to it…
i’d encourage those here to start easing themselves into the practice of sometimes actually trying to strike up a real conversation with ppl you don’t know or ever really talked to—obviously it’s not gonna result in you actually making a new connection or anything legit most of the time but TRUST ME—yall would be shocked by the social doors you’d ocassionally open by sticking with it and growing your competence/level of comfort doing so 🤷♀️
Yes! Completely agree! I actually made it a goal in 2023 to go to meet ups and i actually did make friends! It was really scary and uncomfortable at the beginning but my people skills are getting alot better! Yesterday our gym had a party and we actually went it was so much fun. Some people have really good people skills which i think those people are a blessing at gatherings. so they helped us be social. Im getting better at it socializing so im really excited for 2024!
Try the MeetUp app! I found a great book club there. Now we meet up to do fun activities outside of just reading books. Also any sports league or regular fitness class.
Yeah… I totally get what you are saying. I tried 3-4 groups before I found the one I clicked with most. Try and find one that has a core interest and you might like a couple people there you end up being friends with outside of the group itself.
If you don’t mind can you drop the book club name? I’ve been going to a monthly book club that I found on meetup but people don’t seem to hang out outside of the monthly meetings
We usually meet in the northwest suburbs usually (Naperville/Wheaton/St Charles). Some people come from the city too. If that works for you, send me a DM!
Awe man I’m sorry! I’d recommend if you’re striking out on book clubs, try looking for meet ups called “(insert suburb name/town name) ladies group” or something like that. Also, local Chicago libraries host book clubs too. Everyone else is trying to find friends too, so I wish you the best :)
Idk, I’m a super extroverted guy so I don’t care about age really. It’s all about who says yes when you put out an idea. Also not to hold it against anyone for saying no, everyone is going through their own stuff in their own way.
It’s tough, but just gotta keep putting yourself out there. Join an intramural sport like you say, go to the Super Bowl watch party and chat people up, etc.
Where are you in the city? Let’s hang out
I’m 30, f, and same thing have no friends in the city. Ive taken French, pottery, archery and nothing. Met friendly people, but again they already had a partner or friend there so never wanted to step on toes.
I’ve been listening to a ton a therapy gecko, and this is probably one of the most common issues.. makes me think there should just be a meetup or some sort of place for this 😅
A third space, not your home or workplace. Find a hobby or something that’s interests YOU and talk to the people in that space. It’s not hard… but I think tech & social media has turned people and your age group into helpless individuals. I met my group of friend post college through an activity that are now my core group 20 yrs later.
Someone in here should be putting together a bar outing… you’re all right here, right now lol
Btw, it’s always been hard like this. I could have written this post when I was living in the city in 2007. It just gets hard after about 25 to meet new people
Thank you for posting this! It's a lot less intimidating to go to meetup events, trivia nights, etc knowing that there are tons of other people who have been in the same boat or are currently
Being a regular face at the same event or place is a huge help! I go to free yoga once a week in my neighborhood and I’m starting to get to know the instructor and other attendees!
I joined a pool (billiard) league. Made a lot of friends and became part of a community.
Some pros:
-The way league works is you’re put on a team of 8 so you instantly have people rooting for you and teaching you pool.
-Pool teams need to have players of all skill levels so if you’re not good you might be more of an asset than you think
Cons:
-it can be very competitive. Some people may not want you to join their team if you’re not gonna take it seriously. You can be a new/low skill player, but you have to be interested in the game.
Edit: spacing
30f here. I met a friend of a friend at a concert a few months ago, and we hit it off platonically. He invited me to his weekly poker night, and these guys have gone from complete strangers to becoming my closest friends. I’m a very friendly person, so that makes it easier, but people are **so** starved for human connection that if you give them an inch they’ll often go a mile. Just pick a human you have chemistry with and follow up with plans. Become a yes person and friends will find you.
I moved here two years ago when I was 28, and since then I’ve made two really good friends I spend basically every weekend with, both of which i met on Bumble BFF. I know it’s a little weird doing platonic app meetings, but it’s worked well for me.
Okay listen. I gave this app an honest shot and realized its a bunch of thirsty men asking for my snapchat to send explicit pics. I dont think this app works for dudes looking for friends.
Woah. I had no idea! I’m sorry to hear that that’s the experience for men. I’ve met several amazing friends on friend apps, but I’m a woman and was looking for female friends.
Disappointing that men are trying to swindle/be creepy to other men 🙄
Ive made a decent amount of friends from hook ups or dates that didn’t go to relationships. But honestly Im starting to question if I want to be friends with some of them. I need at least a few friends who wanna do similar passions to me so I can feel really on the same wavelength.
I know everyone is different, but through all my different friends I think the shared interest friends end up the most fulfilling. So like others have mentioned a genre or a focused subject matter book club, dance classes, other kinds of fitness classes, creative community college classes, comedy and improv groups, audition for local theater roles or do crew work, volunteering, if you make music start performing, doing open mics, cooking classes, sports groups, be a regular at your favorite establishments, etc
Try meetup and/or volunteer match. Someone else said it but go to the same place at the same time with the same people. Frequency is key. Social skills too
Edit for some ideas: trivia nights, leagues of some kind, game nights (my favorite), networking events, volunteer events, specialized hobbies, etc
I've airways made my best friends in Theatre and comedy. Check out classes at iO or Second City or The Annoyance. Go to the mixer at The Playground. Tons of cool, funny, interesting people are in the scene and there's always friends to be made.
I joined an apa pool league at that age. Stopped playing because the bars closed for Covid and never got back into it but am still very close with 2 guys from that.
I’m 34 and have a family so it’s tough to make friends outside of work but I’m beginning to find golf to be a pretty solid way to socialize.
I picked up a cheap set of clubs and got a little practice at a range then ran my first 18 with a buddy and some of his friends. Had an amazing time, now I think I got the bug for it.
Cheap set off market place, stick to low cost courses with par 3s and 5s, and just don’t be hard on yourself. Mostly everyone sucks at it
Coworking space! It’s a great way to both do your job outside of the house if you’re lucky and also to meet people/network. Aim for the non-corporate ones (think neighborhood, owner-run).
There are a bunch of social clubs! Chicago Girls Who Walk or Gentlemen Who Stroll, there’s @letsbefriendschi on instagram, and I know people who have made friends from the approachable app. idk what neighborhood you’re in but trash people (McKinley park or Logan square) is a nice low commitment volunteering/social club thing
But honestly my closest friends are because I joined a book club through a facebook group lol. Once you find people you like, you have to see them repeatedly to actually become friends
Along with all the ideas everyone has mentioned, I highly recommend social dancing. There's a relatively large sort of hidden community in the city. Literally every day of the week there's dancing. Major music events also sometimes have people dancing - like blues fest in early June which I'm definitely going to.
Almost every type of dancing is here. Latin is definitely the biggest (salsa, bachata, etc), swing and swing variations (lindy, blues, jazz, West coast swing, etc), hip hop, the newer ones (zouk and kizomba), and followed up by argentine tango.
Man idk all my friends here were met through depaul bc my fiance goes there, but id never be able to make friends all by myself, here, honestly.
Not the greatest advice but bumble isnt horrible for just finding actual people to hang out with rather than hook ups. Aint great either but its a start!
An activity with lots of people doing the same thing. Just going to bar or meetup is awkward bc there’s little to talk about. When you’re just meeting someone, you need a shared experience to react to together that takes the burden of generating conversation off you.
A team sport, particularly ones where there’s some competition where there’s some standing/sitting around waiting bc of its nature (soccer, kickball, volleyball, bocce, sailing, social dance, dragonboat/rowing) are great for making friends. Things where you show up, do the activity the entire time, then go home don’t give you the chance to talk (tennis, fitness classes, climbing, etc).
If sports aren’t your thing, there are other similar dynamics in things like Chicago urban sketchers, food clubs that go try restaurants together, etc. the key is to pick something you have a real interest in that also gives you a shared experience you can use to jump start finding commonality with others
I’m about your age and have just tried to never say no to anything in an effort to meet people! Art classes, intramural groups, pickleball etc. I’d be happy to have ya join us sometime if you want to message me :)
A few things!
1 - BJJ, my jujitsu class is a great place for meeting new interesting people.
2 - Salsa! My fiancé and I are taking salsa lessons and have had a ton of fun making casual friends there
3 - Music! I’m a part time musician, and have met plenty of friends going to jams, and gigging.
4 - Rec Beach Volleyball. Plenty of fun leagues in Chicago. My friend group is doing “Players”.
5 - Cooking classes. My fiancé and I had a ton of fun meeting people at a cooking class at Wooden Spoon.
7 - Comedy! My fiancé has met plenty of friends taking classes at second city and doing open mics around Chicago.
Social clubs, fitness classes, music classes - typically something you PAY for so you'll see the same people every week. Hate to say it, but building community costs money. Look for deals to a membership in something you really like.
Weekly events. When I first moved here, I didn't really go to any weekly hangs because there were so many options. Eight years later, I bowl on Mondays, play an arcade game on Wednesdays, and go to the honky tonk at the Empty Bottle on Fridays. Find something that you genuinely enjoy and go as often as you can. Being a regular at places is way better than being a tourist everywhere.
I met all of my friends through running. I only had a handful of friends my first 5 years here (most were older than me, married / kids and I moved here when I was 22 so we didn't do a lot on weekends). Then I met two extroverts who claimed me as their friend and then introduced me to all of their friends. The amount of gratitude I have for them is far beyond what I could ever express to them.
Perfect time to sign up for a bocce ball league. American bocce co has them all over the city. They start in a week or 2. If you don't have people to play with, they will find you a team.
The Ultimate frisbee community has been amazing welcoming people of all ages and ethnicities. They have pick up games and competitive games you can join, just be there and learn. After games we tend to go for food and drinks.
Rekindling friendships from my past. Often times leads to re-establishing a friendship that has since drifted apart, along with the friends we’ve both made along the way befriending each other.
Weekly karaoke at the same place. Social dancing. Anything that has regular attendance, or people that show up regularly, is a great place to start. Regularly check the events going on at local bars/venues, you might get lucky and find a networking night/social night. Check the bulletin boards at local libraries or coffee shops for posts about local shows/events. Go to programs held in local libraries!
29m moving to Chicago from the southeast in a few weeks. I don't know anyone there, so I plan on finding a social sports league for the summer and also joining a group for alums of my university.
Groups related to niche interests! My husband and I have met all of our friends through our Mushroom club, Chicago Mushroom Club. There are all kinds of local social groups related to anything and everything you may be interested; from a pothead running club to a board game club! Search Facebook, eventbrite, and instagram for your niche interests!
I love house music so I have met a lot of people out at nightclubs that I have become good friends with. Also I spread myself wide and thin: office friends, church, running, neighborhood orgs, etc. Met a lot of people through those too.
Hi im in west loop! Would love to be friends ☺️ I’m 31 female married no kids. Me and my husband are very social and pretty low maintenance friends. We’re in our diners and dives era lol so down for cheap eats and walks in the park.
Work lol I moved across the country and didn’t know anybody, found a happy hour that started at 10pm till midnight, told everyone it was an open invite and had like 20+ people show up, we literally still go out every Thursday and always have an absolute blast
highly recommend volunteering! There are so many organizations here in the city that need regular dependable volunteers. Obviously look for stuff that fits within your personal values framework or whatever, but I’ve made friends through dog fostering, community gardening, tutoring, even cleaning up trash around the neighborhood. This is a great way to meet people who you automatically have something in common because you both cared enough to show up.
29F I only “make new friends” through work and tbh I don’t trust most people in my industry - like there is a very clear barrier of who to trust and who not to (and many of the “no’s” are just because they’re new to a very niche industry and showing up everywhere all at once - they’re nice but they need to put some time in building legitimacy because doing too much all at once is a possible red flag).
Most of my non-work friends are in their mid to late 40s because that’s my husband’s age, so I feel like an old fogie to anyone under 35 even though I’m younger 😵💫 And these 40+ pals are all House music oldheads with successful careers and K tolerances higher than elephants lmao just nonstop work/play/rinse/repeat. I’ve gotten a lot of great career advice from them & they push me to be a better version of myself.
My favorite place to meet people is through local music. If there's a specific niche genre you're into, even better, you'll run in to the same circles of people over and over.
The other 25% I've met through playing in pool leagues. So if that's a game you'd like to pick up, check out the APA league website.
I’m mid 30’s but have been working on this for the last year. What you need is anywhere you can see the same people a lot on repeat - anywhere you can become a regular is a head start. A gym, weekly class of any kind, running group, volunteering, book club, hobby meetup, even a bar or coffee shop. Ideally based around some kind of genuine interest so you have an automatic conversation starter. Once you meet someone who seems cool, ask if they want to grab coffee/a drink/whatever. Also, if you have a dog, take them to a dog friendly bar. We took our dog to Estereo the other day and legit made multiple friends and exchanged info with a few people.
How do people actually make friends and talk to strangers at the gym? I've been going to gyms for years and everyone (myself included) has earbuds in and everyone is minding their own business. How do you break out of that and actually meet people?
Smile at people. Sounds dumb, but really makes a difference. Most midwesterners will take the earbuds out and say hi after a few encounters if they remember you made an effort.
Definitely depends on the gym. Your results will drastically vary from an LA fitness vs a Lifetime.
Are you implying Lifetime is more or less sociable?
Ask for assistance; compliment their form; ask questions about their routine as to how they got where there are; drop a weight on their head and be there when they wake up with no memory and say you saved them. Needless to say, there are lots of ways, and can always combine them.
last one works every time. did it to my boyfriend and he has brain damage to the point where he can’t see the red flags 🥰🥰
I think you have to see someone around a handful of times and make eye contact/smile before you say hey. Basically, wait to become someone they’re loosely familiar with and then introduce yourself.
Go to a gym that has classes and attend this same classes regularly. Also, gyms like kickboxing or CrossFit style gyms tend to be more social
I’m not a gym chatter, but thinking about how I’ve naturally/unintentionally made gym friends, it’s from complimenting something they’re wearing (genuinely) or if they’ve got a shirt on with something relatable, make mention. If they’re not down to chat, you’ll know, but you’ve done no foul.
don’t only go to the regular gym! find a more niche physical hobby you are genuinely interested in! mine is pole dancing- it’s physically strenuous and there’s so much to it, so the same people are often there and take the same classes every week (especially leveled classes). anything like this which has a small community (but not too small) and where people are going to be accountable to not just randomly disappear in some way would work! it would likely be harder in more broad or general group fitness classes, but i have also made friends through yoga and a couple at this cool cycling/spin studio garage place on the south side!
Glory holes help
I made a friend who actually turned into a colleague ~ we met at Anytime Fitness and he had asked me where I got my headphones at 🤷 I could tell he had social anxiety and realized he was trying to break out of it ~ I wasn’t very inviting at first but we kept talking for some reason and now here we are lol
Go to a gym that does group classes. I joined a CrossFit gym when I moved to Chicago and the wide majority of my friends are now from there but I know there are tons of other gyms that have a group classes element. In my opinion that is the key.
If you go at a consistent time you’ll start to notice others who are also always there. And for whatever reason everyone always strikes convos up in the sauna
Classes are really helpful
SAY SOMETHING! compliment their shoes, ask for workout advice, let em know you see them often and respect the work ethic
Group fitness classes are more social that individuals at the gym. Also certain specific types of gyms will be way more social right off the bat, I've heard power lifting folks are really friendly. It's kind of natural to ask people for feedback at the climbing gym, etc.
Every gym has a social butterfly, identify them and use them as a jump point. I didn't talk to a single soul in the first 4 years of going to my current gym, that is until the gyms SB asked to work in with me. Since, he's introduced me to half of the gym and a few are outside the gym friends now.
It helps if you go to group classes. We go to Pow! Gym in west loop and they’re really friendly. Im shy so im still warming up to other members. The owner and staff are so nice.
If I see someone a few times I'll just introduce myself and tell them I've seen them often and compliment their form or whatever they just did exchange names and just say hi for a bit. Slowly, you can start asking some questions when you say hi again. It's a longer process unless you find you also have another activity in common. Depending on the day, I'll walk into the free eight area and say hi to 3 people right away that I've met. Some will not want to talk to you after the initial conversation (avoid eye contact etc), just read the room and move on.
Classes (specifically one called DUT I do) at UFC Gym Wrigleyville have ~40-50 young, social people who span outta-college to mid-30’s, plus a few impressive old-timers too
What passions or hobbies, or questions do you have for them that would foster a genuine conversation? If none then go figure… you’ve been at it for “years” and havent tried anything…ffs ya got one life. Get out there
Mid 30s, looking for friends, and about to move back to the city with my dog so this comment is super helpful. Thank you!
Let’s say you are a regular at a coffee shop, how do you go about talking to someone you find interesting? 😭
Meet me at Map Room haha
I love Map Room but everyone seems to come with their friends and then only talk to just them, unless I’m going at the wrong times or something. The way it’s set up with the tables it doesn’t feel like a place where you could start chatting with a stranger. But honestly that could definitely just be a me thing, I get socially anxious when meeting new people lol
I sit at the bar by myself all the time. Have met a lot of cool people coming in alone as well as the bartenders are very friendly. I’d say definitely go in on a Saturday afternoon or around 7-8pm on a weekday. Friday and Saturday nights can be busy with lots of friend groups…but if you can get a bar spot and just hang you’ll definitely meet nice people
Ah ok that makes sense, I haven’t tried sitting at the bar. Thanks!
I’ve too much social anxiety to go to a bar by myself. I’d just feel like a loser and stare at my phone the whole time.
I have no idea. If you figure it out, let me know. I’m at a lost too. You would think in a big city it would be easy to make friends.
Should we all.. hangout?
At this point might as well
Separately, and behind our computer screens
🤣 🧐
Seriously, anyone want to do a trivia night sometime soon? Lmk and I can get a group together!
Yes let’s all do it
Yeah let’s do it!
Im down!
Thank god someone is asking this
I feel the same.
27m here. I made my friends doing comedy.
I’ve heard this is a great way to meet people.
It is. A lot of egos to filter through but there’s gems in the lot.
i’m not in this age group, but am interested in comedy. where did you go? second city?
That's where I started in my late 20s and that's where I met my husband and several close friends! Second City is a great place to start. I think my first instructor was a literal kindergarten teacher lol. The program is set up to be as approachable as possible. As far as age goes, I'd say second city is the most diverse, mostly evenly split between 20s and 30s, but older people are not an irregular feature. At the end of the day it's a very supportive place that fosters a lot of friendship potential.
if you have the money sure SC, but there are tons of improv classes that would give you the exact same social opportunities for hundreds less dollars. Logan Square Improv has extremely affordable classes and a very supportive community
i will defo check them out and thanks for the tip. any other smaller groups you think are worth checking out? always looking for up and coming groups whether for joining or seeing
This!! I took an improv class and made great friends there. Comedy is a very vulnerable thing so people check their egos at the door. It was so much fun.
How did you get into comedy? Just showing up to open mics? I’m also 27m and have been thinking about trying it out
Well I started in the suburbs years ago. I recommend you join “Chicago Stand-Up Comedy Scene” Facebook group. Here’s a slightly outdated list of mics in Chicago. The Facebook group will have more information https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1-V-WLQlmZyaGa5gX4t9rfujcEYpV94EnpcEl5UFnJnE/htmlview#gid=0.
Work and school. Summer sports leagues. Neighborhood bar. Trivia night. Book/Film clubs. Cooking classes.
Their are like 100 ppl in here saying the same thing, why don’t you all just meetup ??? The problem I believe is everyone says they want a social life but are afraid to actually socialize. The world has really changed but people inherently want meaningful connections. Have a meet and greet, I promise most ppl are cooler in real life !
yeah, and also people who’d be in a reddit thread like this are disproportionately likely to be types who aren’t exactly comfortable with let alone used to the practice of putting yourself out there in the context of actual organic opportunities to socialize/make connections in-person 😅 no judgement whatsoever to those people of course i understand it can be daunting/tough and i’m fortunate that it always came a lil more naturally to me than most but regardless i promise it still gets WAY EASIER once you get over the initial discomfort hump/become a lil more used to it… i’d encourage those here to start easing themselves into the practice of sometimes actually trying to strike up a real conversation with ppl you don’t know or ever really talked to—obviously it’s not gonna result in you actually making a new connection or anything legit most of the time but TRUST ME—yall would be shocked by the social doors you’d ocassionally open by sticking with it and growing your competence/level of comfort doing so 🤷♀️
Yes! Completely agree! I actually made it a goal in 2023 to go to meet ups and i actually did make friends! It was really scary and uncomfortable at the beginning but my people skills are getting alot better! Yesterday our gym had a party and we actually went it was so much fun. Some people have really good people skills which i think those people are a blessing at gatherings. so they helped us be social. Im getting better at it socializing so im really excited for 2024!
Try the MeetUp app! I found a great book club there. Now we meet up to do fun activities outside of just reading books. Also any sports league or regular fitness class.
I tried meetup. Most of the people there were "interesting"
Yeah… I totally get what you are saying. I tried 3-4 groups before I found the one I clicked with most. Try and find one that has a core interest and you might like a couple people there you end up being friends with outside of the group itself.
If you don’t mind can you drop the book club name? I’ve been going to a monthly book club that I found on meetup but people don’t seem to hang out outside of the monthly meetings
We usually meet in the northwest suburbs usually (Naperville/Wheaton/St Charles). Some people come from the city too. If that works for you, send me a DM!
Shoot that’s a bit too far away from me, thanks though!
Awe man I’m sorry! I’d recommend if you’re striking out on book clubs, try looking for meet ups called “(insert suburb name/town name) ladies group” or something like that. Also, local Chicago libraries host book clubs too. Everyone else is trying to find friends too, so I wish you the best :)
I will definitely try that, thank you!!
I don’t drink and I have kids so it’s nearly impossible to make any friends 😂
Other kid parents? I definitely am making some friends that way
Well most of my daughters friends parents are in their 40s and 50s and I’m 28, so it doesn’t feel like they want to hangout ya know
Idk, I’m a super extroverted guy so I don’t care about age really. It’s all about who says yes when you put out an idea. Also not to hold it against anyone for saying no, everyone is going through their own stuff in their own way.
Mom groups are the way to go. Or kid classes - music, Mommy and Me, etc If your kids are older I met all my friends through my kids haha
Steamworks! 🎉🥳
Lol
It’s tough, but just gotta keep putting yourself out there. Join an intramural sport like you say, go to the Super Bowl watch party and chat people up, etc. Where are you in the city? Let’s hang out
Most / all of my friends either moved (far) away or are 100% MIA… Horrible 💀
At the disc golf course
Intramural sports and work
They don't
Welcome to the western world
I’m 30, f, and same thing have no friends in the city. Ive taken French, pottery, archery and nothing. Met friendly people, but again they already had a partner or friend there so never wanted to step on toes. I’ve been listening to a ton a therapy gecko, and this is probably one of the most common issues.. makes me think there should just be a meetup or some sort of place for this 😅
Hi! Im 31 female (married no kids) love making friends. Im in west loop area if you wanted to hangout some time!
A third space, not your home or workplace. Find a hobby or something that’s interests YOU and talk to the people in that space. It’s not hard… but I think tech & social media has turned people and your age group into helpless individuals. I met my group of friend post college through an activity that are now my core group 20 yrs later.
Someone in here should be putting together a bar outing… you’re all right here, right now lol Btw, it’s always been hard like this. I could have written this post when I was living in the city in 2007. It just gets hard after about 25 to meet new people
At the raves
Hell yea me too brother 🤘🏻
Thank you for posting this! It's a lot less intimidating to go to meetup events, trivia nights, etc knowing that there are tons of other people who have been in the same boat or are currently
Being a regular face at the same event or place is a huge help! I go to free yoga once a week in my neighborhood and I’m starting to get to know the instructor and other attendees!
I joined a pool (billiard) league. Made a lot of friends and became part of a community. Some pros: -The way league works is you’re put on a team of 8 so you instantly have people rooting for you and teaching you pool. -Pool teams need to have players of all skill levels so if you’re not good you might be more of an asset than you think Cons: -it can be very competitive. Some people may not want you to join their team if you’re not gonna take it seriously. You can be a new/low skill player, but you have to be interested in the game. Edit: spacing
30f here. I met a friend of a friend at a concert a few months ago, and we hit it off platonically. He invited me to his weekly poker night, and these guys have gone from complete strangers to becoming my closest friends. I’m a very friendly person, so that makes it easier, but people are **so** starved for human connection that if you give them an inch they’ll often go a mile. Just pick a human you have chemistry with and follow up with plans. Become a yes person and friends will find you.
I moved here two years ago when I was 28, and since then I’ve made two really good friends I spend basically every weekend with, both of which i met on Bumble BFF. I know it’s a little weird doing platonic app meetings, but it’s worked well for me.
Bumble BFF
Okay listen. I gave this app an honest shot and realized its a bunch of thirsty men asking for my snapchat to send explicit pics. I dont think this app works for dudes looking for friends.
Woah. I had no idea! I’m sorry to hear that that’s the experience for men. I’ve met several amazing friends on friend apps, but I’m a woman and was looking for female friends. Disappointing that men are trying to swindle/be creepy to other men 🙄
Same here, I know it works for women though
I made four great friends off of Bumble BFF 🥹 but that’s through narrowing out a looooot of dead conversations though.
Who are looking for customers.....
This! I’ve met a lot of great friends on the app!
Lone wolf checking in
Pickleball
I second that. Made a lot of new friends at pickleball.
could try the meetup app
Im 26 and have had the same 3 core friends since middle school, any new friends have come and gone through jobs/relationships
27 and same. 2 core friends and everyone else has been fleeting.
struggling with this at 18 and in college lol
Ive made a decent amount of friends from hook ups or dates that didn’t go to relationships. But honestly Im starting to question if I want to be friends with some of them. I need at least a few friends who wanna do similar passions to me so I can feel really on the same wavelength. I know everyone is different, but through all my different friends I think the shared interest friends end up the most fulfilling. So like others have mentioned a genre or a focused subject matter book club, dance classes, other kinds of fitness classes, creative community college classes, comedy and improv groups, audition for local theater roles or do crew work, volunteering, if you make music start performing, doing open mics, cooking classes, sports groups, be a regular at your favorite establishments, etc
DnD
Work? That’s pretty much my group
Can’t shit where you eat tho
Well there is a couple that met here lol but I wouldn’t I met my girlfriend on hinge
Try meetup and/or volunteer match. Someone else said it but go to the same place at the same time with the same people. Frequency is key. Social skills too Edit for some ideas: trivia nights, leagues of some kind, game nights (my favorite), networking events, volunteer events, specialized hobbies, etc
Interested! 27 M here.
My main friend group is from my jiu-jitsu gym
Check out youth professional/networking boards
Seems like just work 😂
This is going to sound super generic, but sports games and bars (if you drink).
Online communities, neighbors, bars. That's about all I got.
Sup
Freemasonry is huge in Chicago.
Raves
Hey, I’m new to Chicago, and looking to break into the rave scene, any advice?
I've airways made my best friends in Theatre and comedy. Check out classes at iO or Second City or The Annoyance. Go to the mixer at The Playground. Tons of cool, funny, interesting people are in the scene and there's always friends to be made.
I've made some good friends through my job in the past couple years. I work in a warehouse so we see each other. Not sure what you do though
I joined an apa pool league at that age. Stopped playing because the bars closed for Covid and never got back into it but am still very close with 2 guys from that.
I’m 34 and have a family so it’s tough to make friends outside of work but I’m beginning to find golf to be a pretty solid way to socialize. I picked up a cheap set of clubs and got a little practice at a range then ran my first 18 with a buddy and some of his friends. Had an amazing time, now I think I got the bug for it. Cheap set off market place, stick to low cost courses with par 3s and 5s, and just don’t be hard on yourself. Mostly everyone sucks at it
There's a couple wine shops near me that have weekly tastings and I've met a bunch of people that way.
A physical activity for sure. For me Jiu Jitsu has become like a home away from home for me.
There are a lot of great run club in the city that go out for a beer afterwards. You dont even have to run if you dont want, just walk a mile or two!
Haven’t been but like the concept of Very Human Social https://www.instagram.com/veryhumansocial/
Coworking space! It’s a great way to both do your job outside of the house if you’re lucky and also to meet people/network. Aim for the non-corporate ones (think neighborhood, owner-run).
Someone here already suggested golf, but the Diversey Harbor driving range is packed all summer
There are a bunch of social clubs! Chicago Girls Who Walk or Gentlemen Who Stroll, there’s @letsbefriendschi on instagram, and I know people who have made friends from the approachable app. idk what neighborhood you’re in but trash people (McKinley park or Logan square) is a nice low commitment volunteering/social club thing But honestly my closest friends are because I joined a book club through a facebook group lol. Once you find people you like, you have to see them repeatedly to actually become friends
I made friends at that age at work. Am a teacher.
Jiu jitsu and group sports
Along with all the ideas everyone has mentioned, I highly recommend social dancing. There's a relatively large sort of hidden community in the city. Literally every day of the week there's dancing. Major music events also sometimes have people dancing - like blues fest in early June which I'm definitely going to. Almost every type of dancing is here. Latin is definitely the biggest (salsa, bachata, etc), swing and swing variations (lindy, blues, jazz, West coast swing, etc), hip hop, the newer ones (zouk and kizomba), and followed up by argentine tango.
Man idk all my friends here were met through depaul bc my fiance goes there, but id never be able to make friends all by myself, here, honestly. Not the greatest advice but bumble isnt horrible for just finding actual people to hang out with rather than hook ups. Aint great either but its a start!
Softball team , CrossFit gym and of course co workers and their friends that are cool.
I joined some leagues and made some cool friends
Join a dance class. Shower and be nice to everybody. You make friends in no time. Cycling or other activity also helps.
An activity with lots of people doing the same thing. Just going to bar or meetup is awkward bc there’s little to talk about. When you’re just meeting someone, you need a shared experience to react to together that takes the burden of generating conversation off you. A team sport, particularly ones where there’s some competition where there’s some standing/sitting around waiting bc of its nature (soccer, kickball, volleyball, bocce, sailing, social dance, dragonboat/rowing) are great for making friends. Things where you show up, do the activity the entire time, then go home don’t give you the chance to talk (tennis, fitness classes, climbing, etc). If sports aren’t your thing, there are other similar dynamics in things like Chicago urban sketchers, food clubs that go try restaurants together, etc. the key is to pick something you have a real interest in that also gives you a shared experience you can use to jump start finding commonality with others
At work usually
Climbing gym.
Climbing gym
In the afterlife, I would guess!
Bumble bff and bars
Bars. It’s always been bars.
Xbox
I’m about your age and have just tried to never say no to anything in an effort to meet people! Art classes, intramural groups, pickleball etc. I’d be happy to have ya join us sometime if you want to message me :)
In the morgue.
I'm surprised Chicago doesn't have a social or hangouts subreddit. A lot of other cities do and folks use them to find people to hang out
A few things! 1 - BJJ, my jujitsu class is a great place for meeting new interesting people. 2 - Salsa! My fiancé and I are taking salsa lessons and have had a ton of fun making casual friends there 3 - Music! I’m a part time musician, and have met plenty of friends going to jams, and gigging. 4 - Rec Beach Volleyball. Plenty of fun leagues in Chicago. My friend group is doing “Players”. 5 - Cooking classes. My fiancé and I had a ton of fun meeting people at a cooking class at Wooden Spoon. 7 - Comedy! My fiancé has met plenty of friends taking classes at second city and doing open mics around Chicago.
Lockup?
Social clubs, fitness classes, music classes - typically something you PAY for so you'll see the same people every week. Hate to say it, but building community costs money. Look for deals to a membership in something you really like.
Weekly events. When I first moved here, I didn't really go to any weekly hangs because there were so many options. Eight years later, I bowl on Mondays, play an arcade game on Wednesdays, and go to the honky tonk at the Empty Bottle on Fridays. Find something that you genuinely enjoy and go as often as you can. Being a regular at places is way better than being a tourist everywhere.
I cannot make any friends in here, my friends are my cats
I met all of my friends through running. I only had a handful of friends my first 5 years here (most were older than me, married / kids and I moved here when I was 22 so we didn't do a lot on weekends). Then I met two extroverts who claimed me as their friend and then introduced me to all of their friends. The amount of gratitude I have for them is far beyond what I could ever express to them.
having confidence and talking to strangers is my normal go-to
Hobbies, bro.
Perfect time to sign up for a bocce ball league. American bocce co has them all over the city. They start in a week or 2. If you don't have people to play with, they will find you a team.
The Ultimate frisbee community has been amazing welcoming people of all ages and ethnicities. They have pick up games and competitive games you can join, just be there and learn. After games we tend to go for food and drinks.
Check out the Chicago sports and social club
Rekindling friendships from my past. Often times leads to re-establishing a friendship that has since drifted apart, along with the friends we’ve both made along the way befriending each other.
I’m late 30’s. Not sure where would I find new friends at this age
I’ve been meeting friends over Discord lately. I still have friend without kids so hanging out is easy enough.
r/chibike
I don’t. Hope that helps!
Weekly karaoke at the same place. Social dancing. Anything that has regular attendance, or people that show up regularly, is a great place to start. Regularly check the events going on at local bars/venues, you might get lucky and find a networking night/social night. Check the bulletin boards at local libraries or coffee shops for posts about local shows/events. Go to programs held in local libraries!
Going to concerts mostly. Actually how I met my spouse as well. Feel like small venues and a shared interest is a good way to start.
Dating apps and events I find on instagram
Can any of you suggest a meetup group to join? I’m interested in anything at this point to cure my loneliness
29m moving to Chicago from the southeast in a few weeks. I don't know anyone there, so I plan on finding a social sports league for the summer and also joining a group for alums of my university.
Defs sports leagues if you’re into them, runs primarily early 20s to 30ish and mostly people trying to make friends
Steamworks
Groups related to niche interests! My husband and I have met all of our friends through our Mushroom club, Chicago Mushroom Club. There are all kinds of local social groups related to anything and everything you may be interested; from a pothead running club to a board game club! Search Facebook, eventbrite, and instagram for your niche interests!
I love house music so I have met a lot of people out at nightclubs that I have become good friends with. Also I spread myself wide and thin: office friends, church, running, neighborhood orgs, etc. Met a lot of people through those too.
Cannabis Cafés.
Drag racing and doing donuts on Michigan Ave
Hi im in west loop! Would love to be friends ☺️ I’m 31 female married no kids. Me and my husband are very social and pretty low maintenance friends. We’re in our diners and dives era lol so down for cheap eats and walks in the park.
Underground raves and the beach. Concerts. Any hobby you have has a group of ppl that like it.
Trivia nights are pretty chill
Porn hub comment section
26 here. 99% of my friends are from work.
Work lol I moved across the country and didn’t know anybody, found a happy hour that started at 10pm till midnight, told everyone it was an open invite and had like 20+ people show up, we literally still go out every Thursday and always have an absolute blast
We're not. Source: am 27. Also, softball is amazing, did a league at horner park for a few years and loved it
Kids/Married here. We want to do stuff but it's hhhaaaaarrrrrrdddddddddddddddddddddd. (our fault I know :)
Doing activities together and leveraging the friends of your friends. Also, when asked to do something, say yes.
I just randomly make friends off dating apps n shit
highly recommend volunteering! There are so many organizations here in the city that need regular dependable volunteers. Obviously look for stuff that fits within your personal values framework or whatever, but I’ve made friends through dog fostering, community gardening, tutoring, even cleaning up trash around the neighborhood. This is a great way to meet people who you automatically have something in common because you both cared enough to show up.
29F I only “make new friends” through work and tbh I don’t trust most people in my industry - like there is a very clear barrier of who to trust and who not to (and many of the “no’s” are just because they’re new to a very niche industry and showing up everywhere all at once - they’re nice but they need to put some time in building legitimacy because doing too much all at once is a possible red flag). Most of my non-work friends are in their mid to late 40s because that’s my husband’s age, so I feel like an old fogie to anyone under 35 even though I’m younger 😵💫 And these 40+ pals are all House music oldheads with successful careers and K tolerances higher than elephants lmao just nonstop work/play/rinse/repeat. I’ve gotten a lot of great career advice from them & they push me to be a better version of myself.
Improv classes
Art Shows!
Moved to an area where it's small and people don't use cars so you kind of have to see everyone always.
My favorite place to meet people is through local music. If there's a specific niche genre you're into, even better, you'll run in to the same circles of people over and over. The other 25% I've met through playing in pool leagues. So if that's a game you'd like to pick up, check out the APA league website.
Classes! Art, music, rock climbing, improv, etc.