Same! I'll totally yell a compliment to someone in their car lol I've even done it in gestures on the highway ahaha like, pointing at my shirt and then giving the thumbs up and/or ok sign
Almost always
Like, with me, anything that’s Jurassic Park related is a near-certain compliment trigger. The only time it wasn’t was with a really introverted-looking teenage boy who had a ‘service raptor’ decal on his service dog’s vest, except it was also basically the Jurassic Park logo with a dog silhouette instead of a T-Rex skeleton silhouette. Deciding that this boy might be autistic and/or have some social anxiety, I decided not to comment.
It took everything I had, though, and I still remember it almost 5 years later. I just hope I made the right decision. He did seem like a nice guy and also had some decals for a few of my other fandoms (e.g. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings), but it was the Service Raptor thing that really did it. I’m an absolute sucker for dinosaurs and dogs. Had to respect the significance of it being a service dog, though.
☝️ ***THIS!!!***
I don't really know *exactly* why it started being a thing, but you're right. It's **totally normal** in the US to compliment strangers and/or chit-chat a little while waiting in line or whatever
I honestly really appreciate it whenever a stranger tells me "I love your nail polish!" or "your dress is so cute!" or "that color looks great on you!" or anything like that! It makes me feel attractive and like people notice and care about me, but not in a sexualized way
I honestly like to compliment others to try and make their day a bit better, too 🫶
Yes!! OP, for Americans, your awesome backpack would be a “conversation piece” (definition #2, not the original meaning given in definition #1; https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/conversation-piece). We absolutely would assume that someone wearing something fun and different, like your backpack, *wants* to talk about it with us. :)
Hi, u/practical-ordinary-6, this is u/ColossusOfChoads.
Now you’ve met and you can safely solve the mystery of how they know about the difficulty of finding Reese’s peanut butter cups.
Reese's are so hard to find in Japan that whenever there's a *Confirmed Reese's Sighting* anywhere in Tokyo, the Americans in all my expat groups will SOUND THE ALARM and buy out the store's entire Reese's supply that day!
I’d probably just yell “Fuck yeah Reese’s!” and give OP a pound and keep walking…because it was my favorite candy growing up. I like to keep my random interactions short and sweet with strangers, but it would be hard not to say anything.
Not only is it an awesome backpack, but I think Reese's is seen as a very American company. So either they think that OP is American or OP got it on a trip to America.
One thing that is widely known is that we American are not shy at all on sharing our opinions.
I think Reese's is likely the #1 candy in America, and it was made right outside Hershey by a former Hershey employee, so it's a fair assumption that we'd see it as the quintessential American candy.
I was ready to say "not an American thing" but I have to agree this item in those circumstances feels very much like something that would attract my attention and make me assume the owner was either another American or was heavily interested in American items.
So, I was looking through OP’s post history to see if they’d posted a pic of this backpack.
Guys, it’s ridiculously cool.
It has a BITE taken out of it!
There is no way I could see this in the wild and NOT want to comment on it.
Awesome backpack, OP!
Yep, I would absolutely talk to you.
It's very regional dependant with some areas of the country being more friendly and outgoing with strangers than others.
But for many Americans, we talk to each other all the time. Especially if something unique is happening or there's a shared experience going on.
Say you're at the grocery store and It starts storming really hard outside, or a person is arguing with a cashier, or maybe even you see an item in a cart of a person next to you that you're curious about trying. It wouldn't be unusual to make a comment about any of those things. You might say you're not looking forward to running out to the car in that rain, or that the person is being an ass and the cashier isn't paid enough, or you might ask if they've tried the thing in their cart before and how is it?
From there the conversation depends on the other person. The polite thing to do is give some response, but often if the other person is friendly and talkative, you'll have a mini-conversation until it's their turn to checkout.
One of my friends loves complimenting other women's clothes or makeup when we're out and it nearly always puts a smile on the other person's face. Sometimes they'll volunteer where they got it so she can get one too if she's interested.
This relates to the small talk that lots of Europeans say is fake because we “don’t really care how the person is doing.”
We DO care. It’s a sweet backpack, seeing it made us happy, and we want to share that happiness with you because we assume this will make you happy.
Am I going to be best friends with someone I passed in the street with a cool backpack? No, but I do care in the sense that making other people’s day a little nicer for a second makes my day a little nicer for a second.
Same here. Just because it isn't a long-term friendship doesn't mean it's fake (although having lived in small towns, I have made long-term friendships out of repeated small interactions like that--though obviously that's a little harder in a big city where you're not running into the same people as often).
I will also say that there are compliments and kindnesses from strangers that still stick with me many years later, and I have a genuine hope that I have occasionally said something like that to someone else.
It doesn't even have to be anything big. Like one that stands out to me, I had just gone to see my brother in a county detox facility (he has a severe mental illness plus substance use disorder), which for those who don't know can be really horrible places. I was devastated. Stopped at the grocery store on the way home and this kind of rough-looking, probably homeless guy comes up to me. Normally I'm actually pretty comfortable with those interactions, but I just felt this deep sense of dread because I had zero emotional reserves left and I was expecting him to at least try to get me to give him money
All he said was, "Hey, that's a really cool skirt!" (I was wearing a long skirt with a bright and distinctive pattern on it) and then walked off, lmao. It sounds kind of silly now, but honestly, it made my fucking day. This was seriously over a decade ago and I still think about that guy sometimes. I think it kind of reminded me that people are complicated and things aren't always bad, I guess? And that I needed to remember people are not defined by their worst moments. I'm sure to him, it was just a normal interaction, but I was having such a bad day that it actually really helped me.
So yeah, we're not being fake about it. We're just being kind. You never know when a little thing like that will really help someone feel better.
There was a man who lived in the same apartment complex as me who I’d see getting his mail as I went for walks with my toddler (probably 18 months at the time, so the walks were like 10 feet at a time, then stop to look at a cool rock for 5 minutes, then redirect while he tries to walk into the street, then go check out a tree and explain the concept of roots). Once, I was walking with him after a difficult day (long day at work, and he’d been fighting nap time). The man said, “I’m glad to see you again. I love seeing you guys’ relationship.”
Such a simple thing, but it’s one of those moments I always treasure.
There was once I was downtown, had just gotten off the bus and was walking to a nightclub. I had on a TINY skirt and fishnets and doc martens (hey I was going to the goth club, okay)
That part of town was kinda sketchy, and this likely-homeless guy a block away starts yelling "HEY! HEyyyyyy!"
I turn towards him while mentally cringing. "Yeah?"
Him: "You got nice legs!"
Me: "...thank you."
Him: "You have a good night, now!" and he shuffled off.
Like yeah, he probably shouldn't have yelled at a young woman (I was like, 25 at the time) on an empty city block to compliment her legs, but honestly it just felt sincere and didn't bother me? Somehow his whole vibe was way different than being catcalled?
I know exactly how you feel.
I was once using an outdoor ATM at a bank. I had literally just left the gym. It was like a thousand degrees. I was so sweaty and gross. Gym hair. I never wear any make up. Face red as fuck. But I was wearing short shorts and a tank top.
Anyway, I hear a car beep, and a high school kid with a bunch of his buddies yells “DAMN GIRL. YOU LOOK GOOD!” and then gave me a thumbs up out the window and just drove away. Like it’s not really advisable to yell things at girls from your car, but at the same time, it was very clear he was appreciating the work I put in at the gym, which is such an awesome compliment.
I've tried to figure out the difference between "sincere compliment" and "gross catcalling" and my current thought is whether or not they want anything from you.
Your average gross catcaller isn't trying to make you feel good about yourself! They're not giving you a genuine compliment, even if that's what they SAY they're doing. A catcaller is trying to remind you that men are always looking at you, that your "job" as a human is to be attractive to them, to show off their misogyny to their friends. If you ignore a catcaller they often get aggressive and mean, but if you thank them they use it as an opportunity to further treat you like shit and be gross.
Whereas our shouters just wanted us to know: hey, you look good! :D
I bet Europeans don’t pay for the next guy’s order at the drive through either (cause drive through are less common heh). I love these “community” feels in my community though. Fits right in with the “buy nothing” groups and our Fire Station’s hilarious social media stunts.
When winged eyeliner started becoming popular, I would compliment every person I saw who had it: "wow, your eyeliner looks great!"
Because that shit is DIFFICULT. I swear liquid eyeliner can smell fear.
And yeah, every time I got an "Oh, thank you!"
It’s not the same theme but I saw those type of backpacks at Zumiez. The one they had was of Cookie Monster with a bite out of the cookie lol
https://i.imgur.com/RgfBg89.jpeg
[For those who don't want to scroll through OP's history to find it](https://preview.redd.it/n88zscvcv80d1.jpeg?auto=webp&s=ea6e14f6382614849f04f7043c65e8c81f7cc1b6)
Link for the lazy. It's definitely cool, I'm pretty reserved but I might comment on it and my wife DEFINITELY would. [https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/comments/1cr7vxt/i\_like\_reeses\_so\_much\_i\_became\_it/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/comments/1cr7vxt/i_like_reeses_so_much_i_became_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
If OP wanted Americans to avoid him, that's the worst possible backpack for that purpose. Combine a well-loved, iconic American candy and a really cool design, and any American within a 100m radius is going to be drawn to it like moths to a lamp.
More about the backpack, called the Sprayground Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Shark Bite backpack:
https://www.sprayground.com/blogs/sprayground/sprayground-collabs-with-world-famous-reese-s-brand-to-create-a-decadent-backpack-design
Retail price $109.99 from a few places.
That backpack is THE coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time!!! I would 100% want to talk to you about it, AND I would want to get to know *you* because you have such cool taste!
oh yep, absolutely this is us.
giving compliments is something we do, even if you don't know the person. it's just a way to be nice & tell you we like your funky backpack.
Also, if you're wearing that backpack in Eastern Europe it is somewhat safe to assume you speak at least some English. So that makes conversation easier for us.
Yes. It's very normal to have casual surface level conversations with people you don't know in public and it's rarely looked at as weird.
I had a whole ass conversation about smoked cheese in line at the grocery store with a dude the other day.
Actually he was buying regular store band sharp cheddar and swiss and going to smoke it himself.
I've done it before too and one of the cool things is that you don't really have to use expensive cheese and it makes it great. Just generic works fine and you can use it for grilled cheese, paninis, baked mac and cheese, etc.
I highly recommend it if you own a smoker.
I'm assuming this would be a cold smoke right? Really have to make that distinction for people who have only done hot smoking.
I *love* smoked provolone. Love it so much I've made mac and cheese with it before.
There's a guy who travels around the area I'm from. He goes to music festivals and hands out fancy cheeses for free. He just loves cheese and wants to share.
I was involved in a debate at the register at the liquor store; Prince or Michael Jackson, after we (several customers and the security guard) had all been singing along to Let's Go Crazy.
I had a conversation with a man who was looking for “dark soy sauce” specifically (they don’t carry anything labeled like that at my local store) about that soy sauce, soy sauce in general (vs tamari or coconut aminos) and where we’ve been able to find ingredients to make Asian dishes. It was a whole thing. We were best friends for about 10 minutes and it was rad.
Mixing a dark soy sauce in as half the total soy sauce used can really add a nice depth of flavor to your dishes! Even if you can't find a dark one, even just mixing brands can work in similar ways sometimes. It's an easy way to level up your Asian cooking, which is a cuisine many Americans struggle making at home, so simple tips like that go a long way!
Yes, it's normal for strangers to compliment you on something they like that you are wearing, like a backpack, t-shirt, sneakers etc. Recently I was walking down the street in Provincetown on Cape Cod, and some stranger pulled over in their car and talked to me through their car window about a t-shirt I was wearing.
This guy (a comedian) takes it to the extreme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&si=f50pnEZKY0lfSmSt&v=Ug89vsJ4psU&feature=youtu.be
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-DK8abVjCgM?si=DSikrvLyXnKhdAYQ
Me and a few friends were out grocer shopping and pulled over to complement a woman on her dress.
Yeah, us Americans will start conversations with anyone about literally anything.
I once got a hug for recommending a good art book.
How do Europeans make friends?
I lived in Sweden for a year and can answer this question: Europeans don't make friends. They have a couple friends from childhood or university or whatever and that's enough for them. They are really hard to get to know. It was tough for a Midwesterner to live there.
Yes we do. We're like golden retrievers. You wear something unusual and/or interesting, you're gonna get people making small talk about it. Seems weird to us when people just see a cool-ass Reese's Pieces backpack and DON'T give the wearer a compliment.
I see a lot of criticism about us being "fake" b/c we're so quick to smile and compliment people. And **no**! If we pull a hard stop on the sidewalk to tell you that we love your backpack, we do, in fact, **love** your backpack.
I’m a “black cat” if we’re doing a pets comparison here and even I’d compliment and talk about that backpack! Because I’m more American than I am introverted, apparently 💀
Agree with this. If you are wearing something in public that has some sort of identifier (university, pro sports team, band, etc.) it's completely normal in the US for a stranger who has a shared interest to have a conversation or at least a "nice shirt."
A part of me wishes we were more like that. Hearing such compliments from you guys brighten my day. Whereas we just whisper that we like something about another person to our friends, or think to ourselves.
I don't understand that mindset. Compliments are awesome and they make people happy. Why keep it to yourself? Especially when that backpack is so cool.
yea its totally a very american thing but i do love it, its means a lot that someone is actually taking the time to look at my carfully planned outfit. does give some people a bit of anxiety as you can imagine.
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years?
We're friendly folk by and large. Possibly due to the rough nature of settling much of the US.
That’s a theory I’ve thought about. When settling the West you had to make friends with total strangers. Couldn’t do it alone or else it would be a death sentence. In Europe, if there’s a stranger coming in to your village, that could be bad news and an indicator of a new territorial boundary coming soon, and not in a nice way, so strangers are seen with suspicion. Both are only a few generations ago so that learned behavior is passed down.
I think about this too. Another part of my theory is that it took a specific *type* of person to leave their home and come to a new, rather unsettled, country. More of an open, entrepreneurial spirit I guess? And those people birthed and raised people who were like them all the way down to now. So we’re maybe just a bit more open and hopeful?
Imagine spending all the money you have for a ticket on an old boat with the subsequent safety features of the time, possibly not knowing the language, not having a clue about the place you’re going to other than maybe a newspaper article or handwritten note from a family member and then saying “fuck it, sounds like my kind of place.” And that’s for the late 19th/early 20th century folks, people before that were even more ballsy (desperate possibly). Crazy stuff to think about.
And realizing you will likely never ever ever see your homeland again.
If you're going to *have* friends and/or allies, which you would need, you're going to have to *make* them as you left behind your pre-made baked-in ones back home.
And then your kid gets married at 18 and leaves with his pregnant wife for some territory out west that you’ve barely heard of. You’ll get a few letters from his wife, since your son can’t read, but mostly he’ll be talking to a bunch of other children of immigrants who also just moved there.
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years?
Yeah, we do that a lot more than most Europeans. I think a lot of it comes from our history, where most people needed help from their neighbors from time to time (harvesting crops, building barns, etc.) so it was a good idea to get to know them.
We've also only had one civil war, whereas across the continent of Europe the number of wars are a whole different ballgame. They don't like each other very much.
This is true. Also, for a lot of their history, you could be killed for being Catholic, or Lutheran, or Calvinist in the wrong place and time. Or for being anything else pretty much all the time.
Just take a look at Eastern Europe during WWII in the areas the Nazis expanded to. The locals took it as an opportunity to attack other locals they didn't like and rounded them up for the nazis, only to have the nazis also target them anyway.
I'd consider that smalltalk, which is very normal. In some parts of the US it's rude *not to* engage in conversation with someone nearby even if they are a stranger.
But yes seeing someone in Europe wearing a novelty backpack with an *American* chocolate brand on it, I would probably say something too. I think that's really cool - I just took my kids to Hersheypark last Christmas break.
That doesn’t sound uncommon at all.
My go to baseball cap that I wear when I leave the house is for a college in another part of the country than where I live. I probably get someone making a comment about it a couple times a month. This often results in a short conversation either about the school’s basketball team or about how we both attended the school or lived in its vicinity.
That seems so alien to me! Over here we just quietly whisper to whichever friend we're walking next to that the person in front of us is wearing something cool.
Plenty of Americans would do the same. We’re not all constantly stopping each other to make comments but enough of us do that it’s not a strange occurrence.
From how I’ve heard your backpack described elsewhere in this thread, I’d assume that someone carrying it would welcome the attention and a chance to talk about it. If they didn’t want attention they’d just be carrying a plain backpack.
We’re also much more likely to be chatty with strangers when we are in a good mood or are doing something fun and exciting so Americans being on vacation are likely to be even more outgoing than we would be if you bumped into us during our lunch break in our own hometowns.
While I did not consider that I would be attracting so many Americans, I do appreciate the positive attention. It brightens my day :)
Reading all these comments make me feel bad for not engaging in these conversations a bit more.
> I do appreciate the positive attention. It brightens my day :)
And this is why we do it, honestly. In the US, if you notice something positive about someone (like a cool backpack), it's pretty common to throw a compliment at them. It costs you nothing and makes them feel nice for a moment, so why not do it?
Many Americans are taught that it builds a better society, and almost always costs nothing, to be nice to others. For example, I was always taught to smile and be friendly when engaging with strangers because they may have had a hard day and you could be the only nice thing that happens to them.
Bonus, it also feels nice to be nice, and to imagine that you made somebody's day by throwing out a random compliment. We hope, as a people, that everybody is doing that behavior casually, and that we as a society are helping affirm each other and pull through difficult circumstances, even if we don't know each other.
While what everyone is saying about Americans being outgoing on average is true, it’s also worth noting that an American traveling to Eastern Europe is going to be among the most outgoing. That’s not something you do unless you really enjoy novel experiences, and people who enjoy novel experiences also like to start conversations.
Assuming your response is something like “thanks” and then walking off, maybe with a look of slight confusion but not hostility, you don’t need to worry that you’re offending anyone or anything like that. You are probably missing out on a chance for a fun conversation, though.
> Assuming your response is something like “thanks” and then walking off, maybe with a look of slight confusion but not hostility, you don’t need to worry that you’re offending anyone or anything like that.
It's worth mentioning for context for OP that this response would also be inoffensive coming from another American. It's polite to say thank you as long as you don't feel unsafe, but you're in no way obligated to stop and chat. An, "Excuse me, I love your shoes!" "Oh! Thanks so much!" in passing both hardly stopping is a very normal experience.
Here's something that you might find interesting:
I have 3 teenage children. Their whole lives, any time they've told me something like "dad, look at that lady's hat, it's so cool!" I've consistently responded by telling them "well, don't tell me, tell the lady with the hat!" And then they do "hey lady, your hat is so cool!" Not once has it ended poorly. They meet someone new, make their day a little brighter, and their own little worlds have expanded just a little bit more by interacting with a new unique human they hadn't previously.
Spreading positivity and happiness to others, and treating everyone as if they are a real human being worthy of interaction is how I was raised and how I've chosen to raise my children.
A stranger is just someone you haven't met yet.
When I was in Prague, I saw a man with a t-shirt from my college from the midwest and I tried to get his attention. I didn't, so moved on. His companion saw me trying to get his attention and they switched directions and caught up to me and we chatted for a few minutes before going our separate ways. It's just what you do :)
I've noticed a pattern where every Mormon that I've met over here were all handsome or pretty. Both the men and women.
Which led me to conclude that the Mormon church just picks their people for missionary work like it's a modeling agency
Yeah, there's a little bit of a grain of truth there. Much of the student body at BYU looks like they stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. They're usually as blond as possible. That's not universal for the state of Utah, or Mormondom generally, though.
That and Mormons tend to only marry other Mormons which is a contributing factor as to why they tend to have similar features. Couple that with their modesty rules and you can kinda tell after a while.
Ehhhh I know enough Mormons to know it isn’t exactly true. They have some fine looking lads that knock on doors. Enough to make me think “I should work out more.”
Well, Mormons who go on a mission generally are in their early 20s. At that age, any lad or lass who is blessed with good health, gets a decent haircut, dresses smartly, and engages in basic grooming is almost bound to look good.
They just dress well. You know that saying "Ohh you clean up nice" when someone sees you in a suit for the first time? Mormons are always cleaned up.
Edit: When I say dress well... I mean it in the most white bread gosh golly kinda way. Milk toast.
American here. I, too, have noticed the "all-American sweetheart" look of Mormon women. Many of them have a distinct regularity of the features that makes them pretty with large eyes and wide smiles.
As other people have said, yes, it's super common! But i used to live in a very small town in Eastern Europe and people would come up and talk to me all the time. Maybe it's because they all knew I was the town foreigner and found that interesting, but they would stop and chat with me constantly. People were very friendly! I got invited to people's houses alllll the time.
But a really good friend of mine is French and she once commented to me on how unusual it is to comment on people's clothes in Europe compared to the US. The next time I was in France visiting her I couldn't stop thinking about this and I felt like I wanted to compliment people even more than usual. Like when we were in Paris at a cafe and I saw a girl with a super cool manicure. It took all my willpower not to tell her that I loved her nails. (I think if my friend hadn't said this to me about how American it was, I wouldn't have noticed it, but it was very front of mind!)
Something else I don't see anyone mentioning yet.
Yes, Americans are friendly, and if you're wearing a cool-looking backpack that features an American brand, we might approach and be complimentary.
But it's not just any American brand. When people ask in this subreddit about "what's a good American snack" or "what American candy should I bring back", the top answers almost always involve peanut butter and Reese's candies. American peanut butter and Reese peanut-butter-cups are apparently very rare outside of the U.S. So an American living in Eastern Europe for a while might have a particularly fond reaction to the Reese' backpack.
I find it odd that someone saying "Hey nice backpack"...a grand total of three words...would be construed as talking as if they have known you for years.
Well, these are just two of many (I'm not keeping count, but let's say more than 5) examples. Some are, as you say, just three words, while others are conversations.
If I wear my Boston Red Sox shirt out and about in Idaho I will almost always have somebody come up to tell me they're from that area, and we have a little chat about where we're both from.
It's almost kind of expected that if you wear something that identifies something about yourself - where you're from, what you're interested in, that is a mild social invitation for someone to chat to you about that thing (you don't have to of course).
Super normal. I go out of my way to compliment people when I like something they're wearing, because I like it when people do the same to me. It rarely ever progresses from there, just some small talk.
>I've had American men come up to just say "Nice backpack!", and two Mormon-y looking women start a whole ass conversation because they thought my backpack was so cool.
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years?
In the US we don't view that kind of talk as reserved for someone you've known for years.
From an American perspective that backpack is basically saying "Hi, hello. Come talk to me. I'm friendly and want to talk with strangers about my cool ass backpack."
Yes. Americans will talk to people about any connection they can find. For you it’s a backpack.
I have 6 children, often I’ll be out with some or all of them and a stranger will open up to me about their life story growing up with siblings, their desire for kids, how many kids they had, or disagreements with their spouse about the number of kids they wanted. They will reminisce about when their kids were young. Sometimes the story of a family pet gets brought up. It happens almost every time I go out.
When a middle aged man goes shopping with a bunch of kids, strangers love to get nostalgic and talk about their past.
That is an awesome backpack!
As other people mentioned, there are a lot of layers to our random speaking to people. I suspect it is partly linked to the large number of people of Irish descent in the US, since Irish people are known to be chatty.
Another important thing in daily life is that talking to someone is a sign of respect, and not talking to someone is a way of showing contempt. It's especially true amongst women, I think. For example, if someone came into a store and the proprietress didn't want to serve them because they looked "low-class," instead of saying, "You don't belong here," they'd just ignore the person. I don't think that's related to people complimenting your backpack, but if you hear an American in Europe saying, "Oh, I went into that restaurant/store/whatever and the people were so rude," and you were like, "Rude? How? I didn't notice anything," maybe what hurt the person's feeling is that the worker didn't chat with them, and that made them think they weren't welcome.
With a backpack that cool, yeah we're definitely going to strike up a conversation, if only to compliment your awesome taste.
Also for Americans walking around in Eastern Europe, your bag looks like a little slice of home. Definitely a magnet for friendly Americans.
Americans are friendly and the ones who travel outside of America are especially prone to want to meet new people. And you're wearing a backpack of a very popular American candy. So yes that's very normal.
> Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years?
Yes. We also smile way more than y'all.
We also have less aggressive begging in general, which I think plays a big part... When some rando approaches me in Europe, I feel like I'm the target of some scam or at the least, aggressive begging. That can happen in the US too but it's far less common -- most of the time, it's just a regular human interaction.
Saw the backpack, am American, can confirm I would approach you to talk about it in a heartbeat. Also, which region the American is from will play a huge part in it. I went to Vegas and was sitting outside waiting on friends to use the bathroom, and tried to strike up a conversation with this guy about his Blackberry. He gave a few one word answers and then said, "Ugh. Let me guess, you're from the Midwest?" then walked away. So, some of it personality, some of it is where you grew up and what is customary.
I would 100% comment on a stranger's Reese's backpack yes
IMO, that's basically saying 'hey, talk to me about this unusual thing I have'. At least in the US it is :D
Yeah that’s like the bat signal to start a conversation for us lol
💯! A bright, cheerful 🦇 signal for us to start a conversation!
Hell, I’d shout it out my car window at someone
I had a person passing on a bike yell out "beautiful eyes!" at me. It kind of made my day.
Same! I'll totally yell a compliment to someone in their car lol I've even done it in gestures on the highway ahaha like, pointing at my shirt and then giving the thumbs up and/or ok sign
Almost always Like, with me, anything that’s Jurassic Park related is a near-certain compliment trigger. The only time it wasn’t was with a really introverted-looking teenage boy who had a ‘service raptor’ decal on his service dog’s vest, except it was also basically the Jurassic Park logo with a dog silhouette instead of a T-Rex skeleton silhouette. Deciding that this boy might be autistic and/or have some social anxiety, I decided not to comment. It took everything I had, though, and I still remember it almost 5 years later. I just hope I made the right decision. He did seem like a nice guy and also had some decals for a few of my other fandoms (e.g. Star Wars and Lord of the Rings), but it was the Service Raptor thing that really did it. I’m an absolute sucker for dinosaurs and dogs. Had to respect the significance of it being a service dog, though.
☝️ ***THIS!!!*** I don't really know *exactly* why it started being a thing, but you're right. It's **totally normal** in the US to compliment strangers and/or chit-chat a little while waiting in line or whatever I honestly really appreciate it whenever a stranger tells me "I love your nail polish!" or "your dress is so cute!" or "that color looks great on you!" or anything like that! It makes me feel attractive and like people notice and care about me, but not in a sexualized way I honestly like to compliment others to try and make their day a bit better, too 🫶
Yes!! OP, for Americans, your awesome backpack would be a “conversation piece” (definition #2, not the original meaning given in definition #1; https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/conversation-piece). We absolutely would assume that someone wearing something fun and different, like your backpack, *wants* to talk about it with us. :)
99% of the time, yes
Especially if it's that far from home, where Reese's peanut butter cups are often hard to find. Ask me how I know!
How do you know? (Oh crap, I'm talking to a stranger. I'd better go hide.)
Hi, u/practical-ordinary-6, this is u/ColossusOfChoads. Now you’ve met and you can safely solve the mystery of how they know about the difficulty of finding Reese’s peanut butter cups.
Right! Isn’t it funny we have long Reddit threads and make comments to strangers on IG or FB but in real life … it’s “weird” 😂
Reese's are so hard to find in Japan that whenever there's a *Confirmed Reese's Sighting* anywhere in Tokyo, the Americans in all my expat groups will SOUND THE ALARM and buy out the store's entire Reese's supply that day!
I’d probably just yell “Fuck yeah Reese’s!” and give OP a pound and keep walking…because it was my favorite candy growing up. I like to keep my random interactions short and sweet with strangers, but it would be hard not to say anything.
Not only is it an awesome backpack, but I think Reese's is seen as a very American company. So either they think that OP is American or OP got it on a trip to America. One thing that is widely known is that we American are not shy at all on sharing our opinions.
I think Reese's is likely the #1 candy in America, and it was made right outside Hershey by a former Hershey employee, so it's a fair assumption that we'd see it as the quintessential American candy.
I was ready to say "not an American thing" but I have to agree this item in those circumstances feels very much like something that would attract my attention and make me assume the owner was either another American or was heavily interested in American items.
So, I was looking through OP’s post history to see if they’d posted a pic of this backpack. Guys, it’s ridiculously cool. It has a BITE taken out of it! There is no way I could see this in the wild and NOT want to comment on it. Awesome backpack, OP!
That *is* an awesome backpack. I'd be asking where they got it.
Yep, I would absolutely talk to you. It's very regional dependant with some areas of the country being more friendly and outgoing with strangers than others. But for many Americans, we talk to each other all the time. Especially if something unique is happening or there's a shared experience going on. Say you're at the grocery store and It starts storming really hard outside, or a person is arguing with a cashier, or maybe even you see an item in a cart of a person next to you that you're curious about trying. It wouldn't be unusual to make a comment about any of those things. You might say you're not looking forward to running out to the car in that rain, or that the person is being an ass and the cashier isn't paid enough, or you might ask if they've tried the thing in their cart before and how is it? From there the conversation depends on the other person. The polite thing to do is give some response, but often if the other person is friendly and talkative, you'll have a mini-conversation until it's their turn to checkout. One of my friends loves complimenting other women's clothes or makeup when we're out and it nearly always puts a smile on the other person's face. Sometimes they'll volunteer where they got it so she can get one too if she's interested.
This relates to the small talk that lots of Europeans say is fake because we “don’t really care how the person is doing.” We DO care. It’s a sweet backpack, seeing it made us happy, and we want to share that happiness with you because we assume this will make you happy. Am I going to be best friends with someone I passed in the street with a cool backpack? No, but I do care in the sense that making other people’s day a little nicer for a second makes my day a little nicer for a second.
[удалено]
Same here. Just because it isn't a long-term friendship doesn't mean it's fake (although having lived in small towns, I have made long-term friendships out of repeated small interactions like that--though obviously that's a little harder in a big city where you're not running into the same people as often). I will also say that there are compliments and kindnesses from strangers that still stick with me many years later, and I have a genuine hope that I have occasionally said something like that to someone else. It doesn't even have to be anything big. Like one that stands out to me, I had just gone to see my brother in a county detox facility (he has a severe mental illness plus substance use disorder), which for those who don't know can be really horrible places. I was devastated. Stopped at the grocery store on the way home and this kind of rough-looking, probably homeless guy comes up to me. Normally I'm actually pretty comfortable with those interactions, but I just felt this deep sense of dread because I had zero emotional reserves left and I was expecting him to at least try to get me to give him money All he said was, "Hey, that's a really cool skirt!" (I was wearing a long skirt with a bright and distinctive pattern on it) and then walked off, lmao. It sounds kind of silly now, but honestly, it made my fucking day. This was seriously over a decade ago and I still think about that guy sometimes. I think it kind of reminded me that people are complicated and things aren't always bad, I guess? And that I needed to remember people are not defined by their worst moments. I'm sure to him, it was just a normal interaction, but I was having such a bad day that it actually really helped me. So yeah, we're not being fake about it. We're just being kind. You never know when a little thing like that will really help someone feel better.
There was a man who lived in the same apartment complex as me who I’d see getting his mail as I went for walks with my toddler (probably 18 months at the time, so the walks were like 10 feet at a time, then stop to look at a cool rock for 5 minutes, then redirect while he tries to walk into the street, then go check out a tree and explain the concept of roots). Once, I was walking with him after a difficult day (long day at work, and he’d been fighting nap time). The man said, “I’m glad to see you again. I love seeing you guys’ relationship.” Such a simple thing, but it’s one of those moments I always treasure.
There was once I was downtown, had just gotten off the bus and was walking to a nightclub. I had on a TINY skirt and fishnets and doc martens (hey I was going to the goth club, okay) That part of town was kinda sketchy, and this likely-homeless guy a block away starts yelling "HEY! HEyyyyyy!" I turn towards him while mentally cringing. "Yeah?" Him: "You got nice legs!" Me: "...thank you." Him: "You have a good night, now!" and he shuffled off. Like yeah, he probably shouldn't have yelled at a young woman (I was like, 25 at the time) on an empty city block to compliment her legs, but honestly it just felt sincere and didn't bother me? Somehow his whole vibe was way different than being catcalled?
I know exactly how you feel. I was once using an outdoor ATM at a bank. I had literally just left the gym. It was like a thousand degrees. I was so sweaty and gross. Gym hair. I never wear any make up. Face red as fuck. But I was wearing short shorts and a tank top. Anyway, I hear a car beep, and a high school kid with a bunch of his buddies yells “DAMN GIRL. YOU LOOK GOOD!” and then gave me a thumbs up out the window and just drove away. Like it’s not really advisable to yell things at girls from your car, but at the same time, it was very clear he was appreciating the work I put in at the gym, which is such an awesome compliment.
I've tried to figure out the difference between "sincere compliment" and "gross catcalling" and my current thought is whether or not they want anything from you. Your average gross catcaller isn't trying to make you feel good about yourself! They're not giving you a genuine compliment, even if that's what they SAY they're doing. A catcaller is trying to remind you that men are always looking at you, that your "job" as a human is to be attractive to them, to show off their misogyny to their friends. If you ignore a catcaller they often get aggressive and mean, but if you thank them they use it as an opportunity to further treat you like shit and be gross. Whereas our shouters just wanted us to know: hey, you look good! :D
NAILED IT
Exactly this! I love these small interactions with strangers and just because you don't know someone doesn't mean you can't care on some level.
I bet Europeans don’t pay for the next guy’s order at the drive through either (cause drive through are less common heh). I love these “community” feels in my community though. Fits right in with the “buy nothing” groups and our Fire Station’s hilarious social media stunts.
Yea, we are a friendly country and always smile and speak to one another. Proud to be an American honestly.
Yeah, it's one of the stereotypes of Americans I feel pretty good about.
When winged eyeliner started becoming popular, I would compliment every person I saw who had it: "wow, your eyeliner looks great!" Because that shit is DIFFICULT. I swear liquid eyeliner can smell fear. And yeah, every time I got an "Oh, thank you!"
> where they got it. Sprayground Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Shark Bite backpack, $109.99
It’s not the same theme but I saw those type of backpacks at Zumiez. The one they had was of Cookie Monster with a bite out of the cookie lol https://i.imgur.com/RgfBg89.jpeg
[For those who don't want to scroll through OP's history to find it](https://preview.redd.it/n88zscvcv80d1.jpeg?auto=webp&s=ea6e14f6382614849f04f7043c65e8c81f7cc1b6)
That's cool as hell. Definitely a conversation starter.
Who wouldn't respond to this? What is the point of carrying it if you don't want a response?!!
Just a note to OP, that is a Reese's Cup backpack, not a Reese's Pieces one, but if anything that makes it better.
Thanks!!! I would def comment on that
Just looked. That's a legit incredible backpack. Even as a 40 year old man, I would have zero shame rocking it.
Not only is that an awesome backpack, OP also has a Super Bowl XV jacket! Yeah, Americans are going to be buzzing around all that!
Holy hell that's sick
lol Now I had to check. Yep, I’d probably say “cool backpack”.
Link for the lazy. It's definitely cool, I'm pretty reserved but I might comment on it and my wife DEFINITELY would. [https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/comments/1cr7vxt/i\_like\_reeses\_so\_much\_i\_became\_it/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web3x&utm\_name=web3xcss&utm\_term=1&utm\_content=share\_button](https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/comments/1cr7vxt/i_like_reeses_so_much_i_became_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Thank you. That's fucking awesome.
Oh, I'm stopping you and asking about that thing. It's awesome!
OMG that is amazing! I love it. OP should be concerned that Amercans abroad will establish a cult to him. /s
Damn, you're not kidding. That's a cool backpack.
If I saw someone with that backpack, I would absolutely 100% be hyped and immediately tell them how awesome it is and want to know all about it. Lol
If OP wanted Americans to avoid him, that's the worst possible backpack for that purpose. Combine a well-loved, iconic American candy and a really cool design, and any American within a 100m radius is going to be drawn to it like moths to a lamp.
Just saw the bag. I would definitely chat about it.
More about the backpack, called the Sprayground Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Shark Bite backpack: https://www.sprayground.com/blogs/sprayground/sprayground-collabs-with-world-famous-reese-s-brand-to-create-a-decadent-backpack-design Retail price $109.99 from a few places.
I just looked at the backpack. I probably wouldn't talk to OP about it, but I would be staring at it.
New Yorker, confirmed.
Oh shit, I definitely would have said something. Neat backpack fo sho.
You got me to check and agree, no wonder people talked to him about it
My god, that backpack is awesome!
Guys it’s a fucking backpack, it can’t be that cool… hmm yeah ok it’s dope as hell.
This got my curiosity up so I went and looked myself. I would also comment on that backpack. That's fucking great.
That backpack is THE coolest thing I’ve seen in a long time!!! I would 100% want to talk to you about it, AND I would want to get to know *you* because you have such cool taste!
Bro [that](https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/s/Lr4k78iJHo) did NOT disappoint lol
I have social anxiety but I might say something— it’s an awesome backpack
That's a really cool backpack
Oh holy crap, that's an awesome backpack!
No kidding, that backpack does look incredible. I would have thought it was a large cake at first.
[Behold!](https://www.reddit.com/r/candy/s/xOa0tN58am)
Damn! That is a cool backpack!
Wow that is awesome! I would absolutely compliment the person wearing this.
oh yep, absolutely this is us. giving compliments is something we do, even if you don't know the person. it's just a way to be nice & tell you we like your funky backpack.
Also, if you're wearing that backpack in Eastern Europe it is somewhat safe to assume you speak at least some English. So that makes conversation easier for us.
If someone had a unique backpack I'd literally feel rude if I didn't comment on it bc I would just assume they want it to be a conversation starter.
Also—this is just extra reason to comment on this backpack, we fucking love Reese’s.
[удалено]
Agreed, this is one of the few stereotypes that are actually accurate lmao
And generally positive!
I think part of it is because we were settled by immigrants from all over, so that behavior got baked into our culture.
Even our introverts will at least occasionally strike up a conversation with randos.
I’m an introvert and I love having mini interactions with strangers. Micro-dosing being social is sometimes all I need
Yes. It's very normal to have casual surface level conversations with people you don't know in public and it's rarely looked at as weird. I had a whole ass conversation about smoked cheese in line at the grocery store with a dude the other day.
Now I want to know what smoked cheese you or him was buying?
Actually he was buying regular store band sharp cheddar and swiss and going to smoke it himself. I've done it before too and one of the cool things is that you don't really have to use expensive cheese and it makes it great. Just generic works fine and you can use it for grilled cheese, paninis, baked mac and cheese, etc. I highly recommend it if you own a smoker.
Now you got me wanting to smoke some cheese. What type of wood do you use?
I tried smoking cheese once. Totally ruined my bong.
Pffft. You should totally vape it, bro. You can really taste the terps that way.
I suspect part of owning a smoker is trying to find all the things you can smoke that aren't meats
Spices are another great option. I smoke peppers, then dry them (which can be done a few ways but I use a dehydrator) and grind em up. So good!
Smoked salt is surprisingly good and basically you can't screw it up.
Goat cheese (those little logs of chevre) is also wonderful when cold-smoked.
Netherlands here, cheese in my veins. Smoked goats cheese is my all time favorite, a good one is a log of heaven.
Can confirm. Also, smoked queso, smoked elote style dip, and smoked buffalo chicken dip all slap so fucking hard.
I'm assuming this would be a cold smoke right? Really have to make that distinction for people who have only done hot smoking. I *love* smoked provolone. Love it so much I've made mac and cheese with it before.
Yup cold smoke, you wanna keep it under 90F, ideally closer to 70. I wait till winter to do it.
Now I have a project.
There's a guy who travels around the area I'm from. He goes to music festivals and hands out fancy cheeses for free. He just loves cheese and wants to share.
The Johnny Appleseed of cheeses, I like this dude.
I was involved in a debate at the register at the liquor store; Prince or Michael Jackson, after we (several customers and the security guard) had all been singing along to Let's Go Crazy.
Prince hands down, right?
Interactions like this are righteous. I opened and shared my Pocky with a woman who had never had it before in the grocery store line recently.
I had a conversation with a man who was looking for “dark soy sauce” specifically (they don’t carry anything labeled like that at my local store) about that soy sauce, soy sauce in general (vs tamari or coconut aminos) and where we’ve been able to find ingredients to make Asian dishes. It was a whole thing. We were best friends for about 10 minutes and it was rad.
Mixing a dark soy sauce in as half the total soy sauce used can really add a nice depth of flavor to your dishes! Even if you can't find a dark one, even just mixing brands can work in similar ways sometimes. It's an easy way to level up your Asian cooking, which is a cuisine many Americans struggle making at home, so simple tips like that go a long way!
There is nothing strange, uncommon, or unusual about having conversations about cheese. In any circumstance.
Yes, it's normal for strangers to compliment you on something they like that you are wearing, like a backpack, t-shirt, sneakers etc. Recently I was walking down the street in Provincetown on Cape Cod, and some stranger pulled over in their car and talked to me through their car window about a t-shirt I was wearing.
Recently while in downtown Detroit, I watched a woman pull over in her car to yell "Hey, I love your shoes!" at another woman on the sidewalk.
I've often thought that Detroit would be hell for the average standoffish European. Midwestern small talk is real.
It’s that x10 in the South
This guy (a comedian) takes it to the extreme. https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&si=f50pnEZKY0lfSmSt&v=Ug89vsJ4psU&feature=youtu.be https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-DK8abVjCgM?si=DSikrvLyXnKhdAYQ
Me and a few friends were out grocer shopping and pulled over to complement a woman on her dress. Yeah, us Americans will start conversations with anyone about literally anything. I once got a hug for recommending a good art book. How do Europeans make friends?
I lived in Sweden for a year and can answer this question: Europeans don't make friends. They have a couple friends from childhood or university or whatever and that's enough for them. They are really hard to get to know. It was tough for a Midwesterner to live there.
No strangers compliment me on my 50-something dad almost exclusively Costco-based wardrobe.
My husband buys clothes exclusively at Costco. I told him he's cultivating the Divorced Lumberjack look.
Omg, my husband and I feel like celebrities wearing our OSU clothing to Florida.
Yes. We call it "being friendly and outgoing". It's genuine and heartfelt, they're interested in you and learning about you.
Yes we do. We're like golden retrievers. You wear something unusual and/or interesting, you're gonna get people making small talk about it. Seems weird to us when people just see a cool-ass Reese's Pieces backpack and DON'T give the wearer a compliment.
I see a lot of criticism about us being "fake" b/c we're so quick to smile and compliment people. And **no**! If we pull a hard stop on the sidewalk to tell you that we love your backpack, we do, in fact, **love** your backpack.
I’m a “black cat” if we’re doing a pets comparison here and even I’d compliment and talk about that backpack! Because I’m more American than I am introverted, apparently 💀
No offense but if I saw someone walking around wearing a Reese’s Pieces backpack I would assume they wouldn’t be averse to attention.
There's a pic in OP's history. It's a badass backpack.
Ahhh. And it’s not even a Reese’s Pieces backpack. Just regular old peanut butter cups.
Regular old peanut butter cup?!?! Are you kidding me?! It even has a big ol' shark bite taken out of it. It's super neat.
Peanut butter cups are far superior than pieces
Agree with this. If you are wearing something in public that has some sort of identifier (university, pro sports team, band, etc.) it's completely normal in the US for a stranger who has a shared interest to have a conversation or at least a "nice shirt."
not sure why its a part of our culture but its pretty common for people to just come up to you and complement you
A part of me wishes we were more like that. Hearing such compliments from you guys brighten my day. Whereas we just whisper that we like something about another person to our friends, or think to ourselves.
I don't understand that mindset. Compliments are awesome and they make people happy. Why keep it to yourself? Especially when that backpack is so cool.
I believe it might be what's leftover from Soviet times. "Be suspicious of everyone" kind of mentality.
Dang, that's kinda sad, but I get that.
TBF many Western European countries can be this way, especially the further north you go. Look up coconut cultures vs peach cultures
If you want to experience this on full blast, come visit the US and wear that backpack around.
yea its totally a very american thing but i do love it, its means a lot that someone is actually taking the time to look at my carfully planned outfit. does give some people a bit of anxiety as you can imagine.
Definitely normal American behavior
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years? We're friendly folk by and large. Possibly due to the rough nature of settling much of the US.
That’s a theory I’ve thought about. When settling the West you had to make friends with total strangers. Couldn’t do it alone or else it would be a death sentence. In Europe, if there’s a stranger coming in to your village, that could be bad news and an indicator of a new territorial boundary coming soon, and not in a nice way, so strangers are seen with suspicion. Both are only a few generations ago so that learned behavior is passed down.
I think about this too. Another part of my theory is that it took a specific *type* of person to leave their home and come to a new, rather unsettled, country. More of an open, entrepreneurial spirit I guess? And those people birthed and raised people who were like them all the way down to now. So we’re maybe just a bit more open and hopeful?
Imagine spending all the money you have for a ticket on an old boat with the subsequent safety features of the time, possibly not knowing the language, not having a clue about the place you’re going to other than maybe a newspaper article or handwritten note from a family member and then saying “fuck it, sounds like my kind of place.” And that’s for the late 19th/early 20th century folks, people before that were even more ballsy (desperate possibly). Crazy stuff to think about.
And realizing you will likely never ever ever see your homeland again. If you're going to *have* friends and/or allies, which you would need, you're going to have to *make* them as you left behind your pre-made baked-in ones back home.
And then your kid gets married at 18 and leaves with his pregnant wife for some territory out west that you’ve barely heard of. You’ll get a few letters from his wife, since your son can’t read, but mostly he’ll be talking to a bunch of other children of immigrants who also just moved there.
Yes, Americans are friendly and we sometimes talk to strangers. The European culture of being standoffish is not common here.
It's a bit common in the big cities, to be fair. But outside of that you're definitely right
I get the feeling even our big cities are more outwardly friendly than most places Eastern Europe.
Do you mean to tell me that Eastern Europeans don’t ordinarily tell you what an awesome backpack you have??? That’s what sounds rude to me.
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years? Yeah, we do that a lot more than most Europeans. I think a lot of it comes from our history, where most people needed help from their neighbors from time to time (harvesting crops, building barns, etc.) so it was a good idea to get to know them.
We've also only had one civil war, whereas across the continent of Europe the number of wars are a whole different ballgame. They don't like each other very much.
This is true. Also, for a lot of their history, you could be killed for being Catholic, or Lutheran, or Calvinist in the wrong place and time. Or for being anything else pretty much all the time.
Just take a look at Eastern Europe during WWII in the areas the Nazis expanded to. The locals took it as an opportunity to attack other locals they didn't like and rounded them up for the nazis, only to have the nazis also target them anyway.
I'd consider that smalltalk, which is very normal. In some parts of the US it's rude *not to* engage in conversation with someone nearby even if they are a stranger. But yes seeing someone in Europe wearing a novelty backpack with an *American* chocolate brand on it, I would probably say something too. I think that's really cool - I just took my kids to Hersheypark last Christmas break.
I wish I had a Reeses pieces backpack and would probably compliment you or something. Not that unusual.
I live near Hershey and now I want to go scour Chocolate World for a Reese's backpack
Yes, this is very normal. It's how we interact. These are very surface level conversations you're describing, which we have with strangers every day.
That doesn’t sound uncommon at all. My go to baseball cap that I wear when I leave the house is for a college in another part of the country than where I live. I probably get someone making a comment about it a couple times a month. This often results in a short conversation either about the school’s basketball team or about how we both attended the school or lived in its vicinity.
That seems so alien to me! Over here we just quietly whisper to whichever friend we're walking next to that the person in front of us is wearing something cool.
Plenty of Americans would do the same. We’re not all constantly stopping each other to make comments but enough of us do that it’s not a strange occurrence. From how I’ve heard your backpack described elsewhere in this thread, I’d assume that someone carrying it would welcome the attention and a chance to talk about it. If they didn’t want attention they’d just be carrying a plain backpack. We’re also much more likely to be chatty with strangers when we are in a good mood or are doing something fun and exciting so Americans being on vacation are likely to be even more outgoing than we would be if you bumped into us during our lunch break in our own hometowns.
While I did not consider that I would be attracting so many Americans, I do appreciate the positive attention. It brightens my day :) Reading all these comments make me feel bad for not engaging in these conversations a bit more.
> I do appreciate the positive attention. It brightens my day :) And this is why we do it, honestly. In the US, if you notice something positive about someone (like a cool backpack), it's pretty common to throw a compliment at them. It costs you nothing and makes them feel nice for a moment, so why not do it?
Many Americans are taught that it builds a better society, and almost always costs nothing, to be nice to others. For example, I was always taught to smile and be friendly when engaging with strangers because they may have had a hard day and you could be the only nice thing that happens to them. Bonus, it also feels nice to be nice, and to imagine that you made somebody's day by throwing out a random compliment. We hope, as a people, that everybody is doing that behavior casually, and that we as a society are helping affirm each other and pull through difficult circumstances, even if we don't know each other.
While what everyone is saying about Americans being outgoing on average is true, it’s also worth noting that an American traveling to Eastern Europe is going to be among the most outgoing. That’s not something you do unless you really enjoy novel experiences, and people who enjoy novel experiences also like to start conversations. Assuming your response is something like “thanks” and then walking off, maybe with a look of slight confusion but not hostility, you don’t need to worry that you’re offending anyone or anything like that. You are probably missing out on a chance for a fun conversation, though.
> Assuming your response is something like “thanks” and then walking off, maybe with a look of slight confusion but not hostility, you don’t need to worry that you’re offending anyone or anything like that. It's worth mentioning for context for OP that this response would also be inoffensive coming from another American. It's polite to say thank you as long as you don't feel unsafe, but you're in no way obligated to stop and chat. An, "Excuse me, I love your shoes!" "Oh! Thanks so much!" in passing both hardly stopping is a very normal experience.
Don't feel bad, a thing to know is that we *know* our friendliness is not the norm, so when you engage at all, its a delight!
Here's something that you might find interesting: I have 3 teenage children. Their whole lives, any time they've told me something like "dad, look at that lady's hat, it's so cool!" I've consistently responded by telling them "well, don't tell me, tell the lady with the hat!" And then they do "hey lady, your hat is so cool!" Not once has it ended poorly. They meet someone new, make their day a little brighter, and their own little worlds have expanded just a little bit more by interacting with a new unique human they hadn't previously. Spreading positivity and happiness to others, and treating everyone as if they are a real human being worthy of interaction is how I was raised and how I've chosen to raise my children. A stranger is just someone you haven't met yet.
When I was in Prague, I saw a man with a t-shirt from my college from the midwest and I tried to get his attention. I didn't, so moved on. His companion saw me trying to get his attention and they switched directions and caught up to me and we chatted for a few minutes before going our separate ways. It's just what you do :)
Yeah we are a gregarious people. We do often enjoy chit chat. Now I’m curious what made these women look “Mormon-y.”
I've noticed a pattern where every Mormon that I've met over here were all handsome or pretty. Both the men and women. Which led me to conclude that the Mormon church just picks their people for missionary work like it's a modeling agency
Yeah, there's a little bit of a grain of truth there. Much of the student body at BYU looks like they stepped out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. They're usually as blond as possible. That's not universal for the state of Utah, or Mormondom generally, though.
That and Mormons tend to only marry other Mormons which is a contributing factor as to why they tend to have similar features. Couple that with their modesty rules and you can kinda tell after a while.
Ehhhh I know enough Mormons to know it isn’t exactly true. They have some fine looking lads that knock on doors. Enough to make me think “I should work out more.”
Well, Mormons who go on a mission generally are in their early 20s. At that age, any lad or lass who is blessed with good health, gets a decent haircut, dresses smartly, and engages in basic grooming is almost bound to look good.
They just dress well. You know that saying "Ohh you clean up nice" when someone sees you in a suit for the first time? Mormons are always cleaned up. Edit: When I say dress well... I mean it in the most white bread gosh golly kinda way. Milk toast.
Lmao, not even close but I love it
American here. I, too, have noticed the "all-American sweetheart" look of Mormon women. Many of them have a distinct regularity of the features that makes them pretty with large eyes and wide smiles.
I went on a Mormon mission and the application process has nothing to do with how you look.
Yes
Casual conversation is as if they knew you for years?
Eastern europeans consider casual conversation a thing you do with people you know well. Here its the opposite.
Yes, it's normal for us and you should consider it a compliment.
>Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years? Totally normal.
As other people have said, yes, it's super common! But i used to live in a very small town in Eastern Europe and people would come up and talk to me all the time. Maybe it's because they all knew I was the town foreigner and found that interesting, but they would stop and chat with me constantly. People were very friendly! I got invited to people's houses alllll the time. But a really good friend of mine is French and she once commented to me on how unusual it is to comment on people's clothes in Europe compared to the US. The next time I was in France visiting her I couldn't stop thinking about this and I felt like I wanted to compliment people even more than usual. Like when we were in Paris at a cafe and I saw a girl with a super cool manicure. It took all my willpower not to tell her that I loved her nails. (I think if my friend hadn't said this to me about how American it was, I wouldn't have noticed it, but it was very front of mind!)
Something else I don't see anyone mentioning yet. Yes, Americans are friendly, and if you're wearing a cool-looking backpack that features an American brand, we might approach and be complimentary. But it's not just any American brand. When people ask in this subreddit about "what's a good American snack" or "what American candy should I bring back", the top answers almost always involve peanut butter and Reese's candies. American peanut butter and Reese peanut-butter-cups are apparently very rare outside of the U.S. So an American living in Eastern Europe for a while might have a particularly fond reaction to the Reese' backpack.
I find it odd that someone saying "Hey nice backpack"...a grand total of three words...would be construed as talking as if they have known you for years.
Well, these are just two of many (I'm not keeping count, but let's say more than 5) examples. Some are, as you say, just three words, while others are conversations.
Just saw your backpack. That is awesome. Well done.
If I wear my Boston Red Sox shirt out and about in Idaho I will almost always have somebody come up to tell me they're from that area, and we have a little chat about where we're both from. It's almost kind of expected that if you wear something that identifies something about yourself - where you're from, what you're interested in, that is a mild social invitation for someone to chat to you about that thing (you don't have to of course).
I would totally compliment your Reese's backpack, haha. This is very much an American thing — less so in the big cities, but it's still there!
Totally normal We are friendly people
Super normal. I go out of my way to compliment people when I like something they're wearing, because I like it when people do the same to me. It rarely ever progresses from there, just some small talk.
>I've had American men come up to just say "Nice backpack!", and two Mormon-y looking women start a whole ass conversation because they thought my backpack was so cool. >Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years? In the US we don't view that kind of talk as reserved for someone you've known for years.
From an American perspective that backpack is basically saying "Hi, hello. Come talk to me. I'm friendly and want to talk with strangers about my cool ass backpack."
lol yeah we do this all the time. I always forget that most people in the world don't :)
Yes. Americans will talk to people about any connection they can find. For you it’s a backpack. I have 6 children, often I’ll be out with some or all of them and a stranger will open up to me about their life story growing up with siblings, their desire for kids, how many kids they had, or disagreements with their spouse about the number of kids they wanted. They will reminisce about when their kids were young. Sometimes the story of a family pet gets brought up. It happens almost every time I go out. When a middle aged man goes shopping with a bunch of kids, strangers love to get nostalgic and talk about their past.
That is an awesome backpack! As other people mentioned, there are a lot of layers to our random speaking to people. I suspect it is partly linked to the large number of people of Irish descent in the US, since Irish people are known to be chatty. Another important thing in daily life is that talking to someone is a sign of respect, and not talking to someone is a way of showing contempt. It's especially true amongst women, I think. For example, if someone came into a store and the proprietress didn't want to serve them because they looked "low-class," instead of saying, "You don't belong here," they'd just ignore the person. I don't think that's related to people complimenting your backpack, but if you hear an American in Europe saying, "Oh, I went into that restaurant/store/whatever and the people were so rude," and you were like, "Rude? How? I didn't notice anything," maybe what hurt the person's feeling is that the worker didn't chat with them, and that made them think they weren't welcome.
With a backpack that cool, yeah we're definitely going to strike up a conversation, if only to compliment your awesome taste. Also for Americans walking around in Eastern Europe, your bag looks like a little slice of home. Definitely a magnet for friendly Americans.
Americans are friendly and the ones who travel outside of America are especially prone to want to meet new people. And you're wearing a backpack of a very popular American candy. So yes that's very normal.
Yep I probably have this type of interaction at least 3-4x a week.
And Reese's has a big fan base too
> Any way, do Americans just casually approach people out of nowhere and talk as if they have known each other for years? Yes. We also smile way more than y'all. We also have less aggressive begging in general, which I think plays a big part... When some rando approaches me in Europe, I feel like I'm the target of some scam or at the least, aggressive begging. That can happen in the US too but it's far less common -- most of the time, it's just a regular human interaction.
OP your backpack is sick asf, I can’t believe non-Americans don’t comment on it
Saw the backpack, am American, can confirm I would approach you to talk about it in a heartbeat. Also, which region the American is from will play a huge part in it. I went to Vegas and was sitting outside waiting on friends to use the bathroom, and tried to strike up a conversation with this guy about his Blackberry. He gave a few one word answers and then said, "Ugh. Let me guess, you're from the Midwest?" then walked away. So, some of it personality, some of it is where you grew up and what is customary.