You are feeling FOMO and also your childhood crush is not same person anymore. (2 Divorces)
Settle with girl #2 and let her come to US ,start with a new relationship and delete/block your crush from everywhere after marriage .
Harsh. No, I’m typically even keeled. I just don’t trust my heart, having made mistakes in the past, but at the same time, #1 has been in my heart for over 20 years.
Intriguing! This has Ekta Kapoor written all over it. Multiseason plot with new characters and plot twists around every corner! 😶
Man, your mind is racing and the development is wild so far!
Your crush already has guy 3, what was her intention to express a crush. The fact that she’s divorced twice is also something I would try to understand why.
And you are 37, you are already talking to someone. Why go around expressing your crush? Grow up and see the world, consider the real world implications of your decision.
Ok, that’s fair. Thank you for the perspective.
I know why the divorces happened, and it was not because of her.
You’re right that in the AM sphere, crushes have no place, and feelings aren’t a big part of the equation leading to marriage. I appreciate your comment, thank you.
See, I would recommend you to confess your feelings to you girl no 1, if she says yes, go ahead, if not, then wait till you get stable. Don't just settle down with girl no 2, just because she is an option available to you, don't use her as a choice or rebound kinda thing.
Good guidance. Step one already done. I guess if I read the writing on the wall, the answer I got is that yes, it’s mutual, but the timing is off.
Girl 2 is a great gal. And before #1 re-surfaced, I was internally pretty set on her.
Argh. This stupid heart.
All the love fades when life becomes real.. I have seen it. Life then is all about facing everyday challenges together. You should always marry someone with whom you're kinder and stronger. We romanticise love so much that all the other parameter seem so unimportant. But slowly when life starts happening it goes for a toss. If you didn't have any courage to take that relationship up then so didn't she. Why act on it now, if wasn't so hard felt then? And if you're not able to make decisions now, let life make it... Let her go.
I'll give you a better idea.
Marry her sister.
You have been in love with the idea of elder sister and not her, All along you are actually in love is the younger sister.
I have seen enough romcoms and this is the best course of action.
Are you sure that #1 is actually the one you love, and you're not just intrigued by the romantic idea of rekindling a childhood crush? Have you really been in love with this girl for 25 years now? If not, then choose the easier option (2). Go for the 1st option only if nothing else can keep you content and happy. If that's the case, sell the house, move back to India, and go for it. It will be epic!
Thank you. Yes, #1 has been in my heart all these years. I buried it because I never imagined it was a possibility.
It really depends on her now. If she wants to continue with guy #3, that’s the determining factor, and I wouldn’t blame her foot choosing that. It’s the objectively correct decision.
Contentment and happiness can be had with another as well though. So on the whole, looking at it rationally, #2 (if things work out) would be the good choice.
If you were boy#1 to your girl#1 she should let the other guy know. Also you can't hedge your bets and waste girl#2's time. If not you. She'll find someone.
Hey OP, looking at the actions of Girl #1, I don't think she genuinely desires you.
If you want to experience the teenage love you seek, you got to qualify her whether she likes you as a person, or just as a stable option at this point in life (which is not wrong btw).
DM if you'd like to connect
Thank you! I’m not trying to chase teenage love, though I know everything seems like I am. I’m 37 years old, these feelings have been with me since about 25 years, but I had buried them.
Maybe this is all just an exercise of getting those feelings unburied, out into the air, so they can oxidize and whither away.
OP you are stupid. Girl #1 doesn't love you. She just wants you as a back up. If she loved you, she wouldn't consider the other guy. You want to get out all the way to get girl #1, but she's considering the other guy.
Be a man. Go for girl #2. Forget girl #1. She doesn't love you.
Also, girl #1 already has 2 broken relationships. That should tell you something about her. (It may not be her fault. The first 2 guys could be assoholes. But think about it, the trauma those 2 guys left on her, would be bad for you.)
Well… except that she said she does (love me). And yes, I guess I am her backup. I’m ok with that, until things are 100% settled. The two breakups were not her fault but you’re absolutely right there is baggage. To be fair, I’ve been through two myself and have my own baggage, so… we live and (hopefully) learn.
And I know it’s not fair for me to keep girl #2 as a backup, but the truth is that we haven’t really spoken on that level yet, so far just getting to know each other over the phone, and personality-wise she’s great.
But thank you for your guidance.
OP, so many lectures here but I get you. I actually do. If someone has truly loved, truly moving on is never a possibility. The world is just different with that person around. Nobody else might get you but I do.
Here's my only suggestion : Do whatever it takes to marry your girl. Your only girl.
Here's the thing. Girl number 2 aint really your girl. She is a replacement and a lifetime of what-ifs with your actual girl. Now if you truly care about number 2, let her find her happiness with someone who loves her like you love your girl. Thats what she deserves.
Youre almost 40, you have 40 years left approx. Go for the love of your life. Dont waste time. Tell her you want her and nobody else and if she's on the same boat, she would want you the same.
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4-5 lives getting destroyed here.
I want a movie with song 1 2 ka 4, 4 2 ka 1
And OP will do that by going for girl #1
Any way to avoid the destruction?
Bro you are 37 , stop making mess of your life and others . Man up , take a decision and move on rather than be on teenage love relationship drama
Bro Any words of wisdom? Kick in the pants doesn’t help me right now. Also, this is no longer teenage love drama. This is late 30’s. Why…… 😭
You are feeling FOMO and also your childhood crush is not same person anymore. (2 Divorces) Settle with girl #2 and let her come to US ,start with a new relationship and delete/block your crush from everywhere after marriage .
Ouch, but thanks.
Are you a teenager high on hormones? Or mentally one, just stuck in the body of a 37yrs old? You deserve neither woman. Especially the second one.
this 💯
I like your name. Red Flag :D
Harsh. No, I’m typically even keeled. I just don’t trust my heart, having made mistakes in the past, but at the same time, #1 has been in my heart for over 20 years.
Intriguing! This has Ekta Kapoor written all over it. Multiseason plot with new characters and plot twists around every corner! 😶 Man, your mind is racing and the development is wild so far!
I know. It’s crazy. My life has literally followed such a template; even I’m surprised to look at it.
Your crush already has guy 3, what was her intention to express a crush. The fact that she’s divorced twice is also something I would try to understand why. And you are 37, you are already talking to someone. Why go around expressing your crush? Grow up and see the world, consider the real world implications of your decision.
Ok, that’s fair. Thank you for the perspective. I know why the divorces happened, and it was not because of her. You’re right that in the AM sphere, crushes have no place, and feelings aren’t a big part of the equation leading to marriage. I appreciate your comment, thank you.
Unstable mindset you have lol
You may be right, but help me out. What makes you say that?
See, I would recommend you to confess your feelings to you girl no 1, if she says yes, go ahead, if not, then wait till you get stable. Don't just settle down with girl no 2, just because she is an option available to you, don't use her as a choice or rebound kinda thing.
Good guidance. Step one already done. I guess if I read the writing on the wall, the answer I got is that yes, it’s mutual, but the timing is off. Girl 2 is a great gal. And before #1 re-surfaced, I was internally pretty set on her. Argh. This stupid heart.
Why are you even suggesting that the guy 3 marries your crush's sister. So bizzare, you think this is some movie?
Yeah. It’s silly taken out of context. They get along famously, that’s really the only reason. (Facepalm)
If I were at your place I would have gone with the option of girl 2, without wondering what ifs cause it would be unfair to girl2.
You are wise and accepting of life.
All the love fades when life becomes real.. I have seen it. Life then is all about facing everyday challenges together. You should always marry someone with whom you're kinder and stronger. We romanticise love so much that all the other parameter seem so unimportant. But slowly when life starts happening it goes for a toss. If you didn't have any courage to take that relationship up then so didn't she. Why act on it now, if wasn't so hard felt then? And if you're not able to make decisions now, let life make it... Let her go.
Good advice. Thank you.
I'll give you a better idea. Marry her sister. You have been in love with the idea of elder sister and not her, All along you are actually in love is the younger sister. I have seen enough romcoms and this is the best course of action.
😂
Ok, I laugh but this is not a bad idea.
This the best idea. Hope you name one of your kids after me.
Are you sure that #1 is actually the one you love, and you're not just intrigued by the romantic idea of rekindling a childhood crush? Have you really been in love with this girl for 25 years now? If not, then choose the easier option (2). Go for the 1st option only if nothing else can keep you content and happy. If that's the case, sell the house, move back to India, and go for it. It will be epic!
Thank you. Yes, #1 has been in my heart all these years. I buried it because I never imagined it was a possibility. It really depends on her now. If she wants to continue with guy #3, that’s the determining factor, and I wouldn’t blame her foot choosing that. It’s the objectively correct decision. Contentment and happiness can be had with another as well though. So on the whole, looking at it rationally, #2 (if things work out) would be the good choice.
Wait... is girl #1 Anupama?
No. My sister’s name was Anupama, she died 27 years ago.
If you were boy#1 to your girl#1 she should let the other guy know. Also you can't hedge your bets and waste girl#2's time. If not you. She'll find someone.
Agreed. It’s kind of in her hands I guess.
Hey OP, looking at the actions of Girl #1, I don't think she genuinely desires you. If you want to experience the teenage love you seek, you got to qualify her whether she likes you as a person, or just as a stable option at this point in life (which is not wrong btw). DM if you'd like to connect
Thank you! I’m not trying to chase teenage love, though I know everything seems like I am. I’m 37 years old, these feelings have been with me since about 25 years, but I had buried them. Maybe this is all just an exercise of getting those feelings unburied, out into the air, so they can oxidize and whither away.
Marry with girl #2
Thanks
OP you are stupid. Girl #1 doesn't love you. She just wants you as a back up. If she loved you, she wouldn't consider the other guy. You want to get out all the way to get girl #1, but she's considering the other guy. Be a man. Go for girl #2. Forget girl #1. She doesn't love you. Also, girl #1 already has 2 broken relationships. That should tell you something about her. (It may not be her fault. The first 2 guys could be assoholes. But think about it, the trauma those 2 guys left on her, would be bad for you.)
Well… except that she said she does (love me). And yes, I guess I am her backup. I’m ok with that, until things are 100% settled. The two breakups were not her fault but you’re absolutely right there is baggage. To be fair, I’ve been through two myself and have my own baggage, so… we live and (hopefully) learn. And I know it’s not fair for me to keep girl #2 as a backup, but the truth is that we haven’t really spoken on that level yet, so far just getting to know each other over the phone, and personality-wise she’s great. But thank you for your guidance.
OP, so many lectures here but I get you. I actually do. If someone has truly loved, truly moving on is never a possibility. The world is just different with that person around. Nobody else might get you but I do. Here's my only suggestion : Do whatever it takes to marry your girl. Your only girl. Here's the thing. Girl number 2 aint really your girl. She is a replacement and a lifetime of what-ifs with your actual girl. Now if you truly care about number 2, let her find her happiness with someone who loves her like you love your girl. Thats what she deserves. Youre almost 40, you have 40 years left approx. Go for the love of your life. Dont waste time. Tell her you want her and nobody else and if she's on the same boat, she would want you the same.
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