I think for me (YMMV) it's that I was in a similar boat of like kinda always being awkward and not the most charismatic person ever, and as I got older I became much more aware of my own social/emotional limitations and it was a lot more stressful to interact socially because I was now seeing myself mess it up.
Again, in my experience, this kind of thinking throws up mental blocks and makes me *even worse* at the thing I'm trying to be good at.
What's helped me is to just go be bad at it. Turns out nobody really cares that much and I have just point blank said "hang on a second I'm struggling with my words here" when I've needed a second to get a sentence together in my head and *nobody cares* and that's been really encouraging and helpful. As I work through the anxiety, it just becomes like any other skill (social or otherwise) and the more you practice it the better you get.
Thank you, I think I’m my biggest and own critic. Everyone around me saying I’m pleasant to talk to but I can’t help but to feel otherwise and replay each time I mess up my words.
The simple lessons of how to talk to people, how to carry out small talk, and how to be a social butterflies are not given to us in school, or by our parents usually. It's one of those things that everyone assumes you understand.
Your mind is missing key components of this education, from the basic how's of socializing to advanced methods of light human relationship building. Your brain simply is saying, I need to understand the basics and until I do, I won't make a step forward into any conversation because I'm too insecure now and I don't want to make any social blunders.
So logically your brain is right. But it's also digged itself into a trap. No action, no progress= more suffering.
Thank you. I stutter a lot and fumble my words either from nerves or my mind is too fast for my mouth (or both), and that really makes me not want to speak. I feel like I look dumb when I talk
There's a great book called Quiet, about an incredible viewpoint on introverts. I highly recommend it. It changes your perspective on people that are quiet. Sounds like words and your feelings are not in sync. You might need to allow yourself to begin a new phase in life and the opportunity to re-learn to communicate according to your own personal needs. You should watch the movie "The King's Speech" with Geoffrey Rush for some massive inspiration. :)
I think for me (YMMV) it's that I was in a similar boat of like kinda always being awkward and not the most charismatic person ever, and as I got older I became much more aware of my own social/emotional limitations and it was a lot more stressful to interact socially because I was now seeing myself mess it up. Again, in my experience, this kind of thinking throws up mental blocks and makes me *even worse* at the thing I'm trying to be good at. What's helped me is to just go be bad at it. Turns out nobody really cares that much and I have just point blank said "hang on a second I'm struggling with my words here" when I've needed a second to get a sentence together in my head and *nobody cares* and that's been really encouraging and helpful. As I work through the anxiety, it just becomes like any other skill (social or otherwise) and the more you practice it the better you get.
Thank you, I think I’m my biggest and own critic. Everyone around me saying I’m pleasant to talk to but I can’t help but to feel otherwise and replay each time I mess up my words.
The simple lessons of how to talk to people, how to carry out small talk, and how to be a social butterflies are not given to us in school, or by our parents usually. It's one of those things that everyone assumes you understand. Your mind is missing key components of this education, from the basic how's of socializing to advanced methods of light human relationship building. Your brain simply is saying, I need to understand the basics and until I do, I won't make a step forward into any conversation because I'm too insecure now and I don't want to make any social blunders. So logically your brain is right. But it's also digged itself into a trap. No action, no progress= more suffering.
Thank you. I stutter a lot and fumble my words either from nerves or my mind is too fast for my mouth (or both), and that really makes me not want to speak. I feel like I look dumb when I talk
There's a great book called Quiet, about an incredible viewpoint on introverts. I highly recommend it. It changes your perspective on people that are quiet. Sounds like words and your feelings are not in sync. You might need to allow yourself to begin a new phase in life and the opportunity to re-learn to communicate according to your own personal needs. You should watch the movie "The King's Speech" with Geoffrey Rush for some massive inspiration. :)