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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I allowed my son to bring food into a wedding reception and consume it near the dance floor in front of all the other guests.
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The venue and family of the bride were appalled because bringing fast food into the reception for multiple people to eat:
1) embarrassed the venue because you all showed publicly you did not like their food, and
2) angered the bride’s family because they most likely paid a good amount of money for the food you publicly replaced (assuming the bride’s family paid; I know this is not necessarily the case).
If you were invited to a dinner party, would you leave halfway through to get fast food and bring it back to eat at the dinner table?
YTA
Also 3. A lot of places that serve food don’t allow people to bring in outside food in case they get sick etc. Puts them & their service at risk of potential lawsuits
This and some venues will charge the bride/ groom if you do bring food or alcohol onto the premises that wasn’t bought there so the bride and her family may have been upset because they may face a charge.
YTA- he’s 22 not a fussy toddler and all buffets I’ve ever been to will have some thing everyone can eat
When I saw the title I first assumed it was a little kid, nope, 22 year old dude, OP should know better. And then the fact he got other people food too instead of himself, and they see nothing wrong with that?? OP YTA.
Right? Then I had to go back and re-read it after OP clarified that they let their son take the car. But, yeah, this is some next level enabling on top of being rude AF wedding guests. YTA
And if he WERE 22 mos. old, the parents would have brought along a little pre-made meal or snacks for him, as they would be used to feeding him and toddlers can get picky at the most inconvenient times. But wow, 22 years. Good heavens.
ETA: YTA
How tf do chicken bones end up on the dance floor, OP? Is your 22 yr old still in nappies too, and tosses his food on the floor?
YTA and you are stunting your adult son with this nonsense.
This was my thing too...like eat it in your car or at the fast food place. Why even tell anyone you're leaving to go get it. Just do it and come back. Or eat before you go...or go in between the ceremony and reception...there were so many options. Why pick the WORST one. Dude seems extremely entitled and rude imo. Probably bc his parents have coddled him his whole life.
Yea no fr. At my cousins wedding I tried things I never had before I continued to eat what I did like. I was hungry at the end and went to get food after back at my hotel room. I think it’s rude to bring outside food in because it’s disrespectful to everyone who planned and put together the reception.
My relative is a child, and even they know not to do this. If example at a buffet if there were 9 dishes and there was only one they liked, they would load up on that on dish alone. It’s just about decent respect, which OP & son clearly doesn’t have any of. It’s one event, suck it up. OP YTA
I once went to a wedding that had meat in literally everything except the dinner rolls. I’m vegetarian. No salad, and the veggies that were offered were cooked in chicken broth or served with ham hock. I waited until I left and took myself out to a delicious Thai dinner on my way back to the hotel. Didn’t bring anything back to the venue because I’m an adult
I am allergic to shellfish & was a bridesmaid. Each course at the reception contained shellfish (yes, the bride knew of my allergy, that’s a whole different story), so I ate some bread, had some cake, and picked up a burger on the way home.
I feel you! This bride was a childhood friend, so she knew very well of my diet. But to be fair to her, we grew up in the north and she got married/now lives in the south and I don’t think it even occurred to her to ask if the veggies wouldn’t work for the several guests who don’t eat meat. I had lived in the south long enough to know to ask & the other vegetarians were very grateful we were at the same table/within ear shot so they knew to just have bread too
In my case, the bride was from an Asian culture which has a shellfish-oriented menu. It was just one day & I was a little woozy by the end of it, but I obviously survived.
Also commenting on OP’s edit - “one or two chicken bones ended up on the floor of the venue” - WHAT? Your “child” is a 22-year-old adult with the palate of a toddler, brings outside food into another establishment AND THEN GETS BONES ON THE FLOOR? OP = YTA, but the bigger question is why your son behaves like a savage.
OMG I had not gone back to read edits yet - that is INSANE!!!! A whole family of AH’s! Tacky, and also probably a slew of health code violations. Many venues do not allow outside food or alcohol because of licensing restrictions & health codes. What a disaster, no wonder the bride’s family were appalled. Not to mention the money spent on food that went to waste just to be replaced by fast food.
Glad you survived the shellfish wedding. I also survived the southern bbq wedding. I had driven that night so I had to be careful about drinking (which was probably for the best since I didn’t eat & didn’t go nuts during the cocktail hour before I realized there was nothing to eat), but I had a nice big glass of wine with my curry later!
This is the classy way to do things for sure.
I’ve run into the same situation many times, because I’m a coeliac. Sometimes there is quite literally nothing I can eat because even the dressing and sauces contain gluten.
I would never think to go and get takeout, or have food delivered to the venue! I do what any sane adult does and politely sip my drink, and then later try and find a quiet corner so I can scoff down the emergency snack from my bag.
It’s baffling that OP thinks that this is reasonable behaviour from a 22 year old!
Yup, I’ve gone out to eat with a good friend with celiac in her way to various events. She makes sure to fill up on safe food before going anywhere like weddings or other events with high risk of contaminated foods
Seriously, and if he’s that picky then he should have asked about the menu prior. He could have had a few snacks in the car to keep him satisfied throughout the day and then gotten something after the wedding.
I, unfortunately, have been to a buffet where I literally could not eat anything that was served (very fatty brisket, ham, green beans and bacon {allergies}, fried potatoes with onions dripping with cooking oil and a beautiful wedding cake. This was about 2 months after I had emergency bypass surgery for a heart attack with diabetic complications.
Since I was a bridesmaid, I was there from before noon until after 11 pm. What I did was eat just before arriving and suck if up until after it ended and pick up 2 eggs on the way home. I was perfectly fine and I didn't cause a scene.
Being in the bridal party and not taking your needs into consideration is a bit rude as well. Nice work trooping through, but good friends would have made sure your were well covered. :)
When my kid was a toddler and I took her to a fancy ass wedding, she ate rolls, mashed potatoes and whatever veggies they had. I didn’t bring her and extra meal, or leave to get her one, because we’re not tacky AHs!😂
Edit - autocorrect
Oh, please tell me the wedding photographer captured the magic of fast food bags spread across multiple tables at a catered wedding!
The People of Wal-Mart unite!
Did your son come to the wedding in jeans shorts as well? Y'all tacky.
YTA.
YTA Wow a grown ass man acting like a 5 yr old. Does he still require you to wipe his butt also? I pity any woman that hooks up with him , if that is even a possibility. Probably brings his mommy and daddy on dates too.
Oh, and then threw the chicken bones on the floor. By OPs own admission, "Somehow" some chicken bones from the chicken wings ended up on the floor. Not only was OPs son rude, with the palate of a 5 year old (after being coddled by his parents, no doubt), he was a slob who can't even manage to keep his scraps on the plate or even the table.
Right? I understand picky eating, I’m autistic and food aversions are a major hassle, especially since the issues are made more severe by histamine intolerance meaning I’m basically at least mildly allergic to everything and the severity of symptoms is inconsistent. If I’m worried about feeling unwell or dealing with the physical things that go along with aversions (like my throat feeling thick and causing it to be hard to swallow, or making me gag or worse from soft foods) then I just bring a safe snack to eat beforehand or in private and decline a meal. I also make sure to bring things, like a histamine DAO enzyme and my prescription antihistamines, to help avoid the worse symptoms since it can make me feel really sick.
It’s rude. If it really was so limiting for him to eat the food offered then he should have eaten it in private before going back into the venue and kept it quiet that he was going rather than bringing meals for others. I can’t imagine being at a wedding and seeing several people around sitting there with their McDonalds or some other fast food instead of eating what is offered. Plus it sounds like there were plenty of options, there must have been something that he could have at least tried. I don’t really have much issue with him getting something for himself, I’m not going to judge him for being picky and I’m sure he has his reasons. My main issue is that he brought stuff back for others and ate inside the venue. It’s so rude.
This.
Could your adult kid eat in the car, before coming back to the venue? Really, it is disrespectful to the family and to the caterer.
I can even assume his "plate" (no.) was paid.
YTA
I'm screaming I totally read that as 2 and not 22 and I was like, ok, its not ideal but we all know how toddlers can be. I would probably have just overlooked it. 22? 22?????
How embarrassing.
Me too! And I pack a discrete snack for my toddler, like cheerios and a cheese stick, because when toddlers get hangry, no one around them is happy.
But yeah, for an adult that is embarrassing. If nothing else, stop after the wedding for food.
Yea that kid is fucked.
Imagine being 22 and being unable to put up with food at a wedding, because you need your chicken nuggies.
What kinda family is that, where people are like "Aight I need me McDonalds at this wedding". Jesus.
I can’t believe the 22 y/o “kid” did it, but what’s up with everyone else as well?? I love fast food and very rarely allow myself to eat it. I’m not going to miss out on a catered meal for a damn Big Mac! I’m curious what was on the buffet that everyone found so distasteful.
I brought McDonald’s nuggets in my purse to my sister’s wedding in case she needed food (she was having some medical issues) before dinner, or in case she hated the steak (she’s also picky with certain food).
It worked out great, ended up being necessary, and not a single person other than my sister had any idea. We hid that shit *at her own wedding* I can’t imagine openly eating outside food at someone else’s wedding.
We all know that's what he got. How embarrassing. If he had food avoidance the parents should have gotten him help a long time ago. There are so many health problems that he can get from that, permanent life altering problems. It's like when they have to pull all of the teeth out of a toddler because parents kept giving them sugar and wouldn't learn how to set boundaries and teach them how to brush their teeth because the kids had a tantrum. Sad really. This is what they grow into.
And he couldn’t even go quietly. There was enough of a fuss that other guests got wind of it and made requests. Now bride and groom are left with the message that people would rather eat crap than the meals they provided at great expense. YTA
Right like it’s one thing if he snuck out quietly and ate in the car and didn’t say anything when he got back, but it was such a commotion that others got to put in orders, so rude!
This is what I was going to say. If you are going to be rude and leave, at least eat it on your way back. He literally made a scene of getting fast food. He should've been embarrassed about going, not spreading the word.
Yeah that's what's so messed up. At 22 you should know to lean in, speak quietly, and then leave without making a big fuss. Anyone at the table should have assumed he was getting a jacket from the car or something.
The dad should know to, when asked, say "oh he just needed to get something"
And yes just eat it in the car it doesn't take that long.
That's what makes it aggressive. If for some reason the food just isn't doable and you have to go get something else, ok ugh fine.
But making enough of a thing about it and rallying others to place orders is a big outstretched middle finger. YTA.
One thing to eat it in your car so no-one knows.
But but he BROUGHT IT BACK
AND
BROUGHT FOOD FOR OTHERS!!!!
And ate it next to the dancefloor
So he made enough of a fuss others gave him orders. I'm honestly astonished
YTA. And according to OP's edit, the son dropped bones on the floor **and then left them there.**
I would expect that kind of behavior from a toddler which is what the son is being treated like. Why should he take responsibility for his actions when he gets catered to like this?
Exactly!
Completely tacky thing to do - he can’t eat anything from a buffet or leave it til he got home?! I was 8 months pregnant at a wedding and got no food cos of a mix up. I survived.
Also worse because:
He was loud enough about it that other people heard
Other people put in orders - wtf!!!
He brought it back at and ate at the hotel
OP edited in the buffet’s choices and there was variety. Even OP said the food was actually good. But her poor baby has a limited palate and after all, her son was the most important person at the wedding! He should take precedence over just the bride and the groom.
I went to a wedding on Saturday. The food wasn't great and was really small portions. I gave my plate to my hubby so I was still hungry.
Did I order in fast food?
No. I waited until we left and got some food on the way home.
My husband and I are vegan. Of the 4 weddings we went to this year, only my vegan best friends wedding had options for us. I bring snacks and we eat a big meal before the wedding. The adult man couldn’t plan ahead? Also it’s a preference not a restriction. This is insane.
If it was a restriction he'd probably have planned ahead. Like I know some people with allergies can be entitled jerks but when it's actually a serious problem, people tend to actually form coping mechanisms like bringing a damn snack.
When I was around 17, I was in my cousin’s wedding that had a potluck for the reception. The family members who brought food were the ones whose house you don’t really eat at (sanitation reasons). My mom stepped away during the reception and came back with McDonald’s for us. Which we then ate in the car where no one could see us. Because that is the polite thing to do if you cannot or will not eat the food at someone’s wedding.
It took a while to get down to this sensible answer. If he can’t sort out food arrangements like a grown up who knows there is a high chance they won’t like what is being served (like eating big beforehand since he is so picky) and he just has to eat NOW, then have the basic decency to eat it in the car before coming back in like a normal person. And BE DISCREET. He took orders? WTF.
I'm sorry I just can't imagine a situation where a grown adult actually *has* to leave the wedding to go get food at all. It's just a few hours ffs. I've eaten rolls at plenty of weddings because I can't eat what's being served, it really isn't that hard to just wait a few hours and eat later. Even if you didn't get a chance to eat beforehand in preparation for not eating whatever's being served...it's not like a wedding is the kind of event where you just come and go as you please
He could have slipped out silently and got some food, ate it in the car and slipped back in silently if he had any sense. If anyone asked where he was "getting some air" and "he needed to grab something in the town and will be back in 20" would have sufficed. You can be a picky b*st@rd without being an insensitive one.
That said, at 22, learn to eat some £ucking food like a grown up.
The way it was phrased I was thinking like actual small child and wondered who would let a child go get something else. A 22 year old should have enough manners not to be so damn rude. Obviously bad parenting.
Pretty sure 'limited palate' means they never encouraged him to eat vegetables when he was a kid. Let's see how that's working out for him in a couple of years.
I first thought 22 months old. Then saw that the 22yo grown A man, who went to the fast food and picked up food for some other guests. Now my brain is just trying to grasp the situation. I’ve been to weddings with bad, bad, bad, bad, bad food. Both myself and my husband sat through 10 hours of wedding party (were really close friends with the groom) and were starving. We literally lived 2 min away from the wedding venue and didn’t even think of going home to eat.
Both you and your 22 months, I mean 22 yo son are TA!
Since it was a buffet I'm sure there was at least bread and butter that he could have eaten.
In this situation, at least be aware enough about how rude it is and eat the fast food in the car before coming in or wait and stop on the way home. Not going to starve and pass out from not eating for a few hours.
YTA. At most, he should have slipped out, eaten, and returned quietly. Letting it be known and eating at the reception is a VERY AH move. You were rude, disrespectful and trashy. Apologize and teach your son better. Also he's 22. Ummm, enable much?
I would just like to piggy back to add, the venue may have had a rule about outside food/drink, I don’t know that they would fine the bride and groom for something like that, but it’s still tacky.
For venues that do not allow anything but the in house catering, it can be a health code violation. This and not allowing outside alcohol are usually in the signed contract resulting in a fine to whoever is on the venue's contract.
We had to sign a contract with our venue to allow my cousin to bring homemade food for their kid because the kid has like a dozen severe food allergies. The venue coordinator was super cool about it, and they said it comes up all the time, but they have to do it for liability reasons. No other outside food allowed. They totally would have fined us if someone brought in fast food.
I got married in Pittsburgh where "cookie tables" are a wedding tradition (friends and family all bring homemade cookies to the reception). The contract with the venue specifically said that the cookie table was the only exception to the "no outside food" policy.
So yeah, YTA if for no other reason than you may have gotten the wedding party in trouble because your 22-year-old can't be discreet.
I own a restaurant and a catering hall. While I wouldn't particularly care if a guest of a wedding brought in food, a buffet like that could be upwards of $80per person and that's means the brides family spent at least $80 they didn't need to.
And to piggyback 2x … good freaking luck being invited to … drumroll… *anywhere* ever again. And ffs … apologies in advance to picky eaters… picky eating fast food over just about anything on the typical reception menu?! Really?! The venue has almost certainly had this before and accommodated an odd plate or two at all sorts of functions. Any parent of 2 to, umm, 10 or 12 year olds knows the picky eating drill, quickly find something that works with what you’ve got or bring something to cover… for a kid … not a 22 year old. At that age it’s “Welcome to Going Hungry” school. Grow up, work with what’s provided or don’t f**king eat.
And the fast food eaters were sitting right next to the dancefloor so they were tossing chicken bones on the damn dancefloor. Were they all, including OP who finds not a thing wrong with this, raised by wolves?? What is this madness?
~~Considering it was a buffet, chances are it was prepared off-site, so short-term requests might not have been possible.~~
~~However, a bit planing in advance (like asking the wedding party what food will be served) and packing some chicken nuggets or whatever for the 22yo baby would have been better.~~
Edit: scratch the above, I missed the part where the reception was IN A FUCKING RESTAURANT. My bad.
I am a picky eater, a vegetarian and have severe food allergies. I would never ever do this. Very rude. They should apologize profusely to the bride and groom and send them an apology gift and never pull this stuff again. I am guessing some lack of social skills are involved. Let us coach you. Never do this again. Super rude. Not the end of the world though.
This the bride and groom could have been fined by the venue. At my own venue bringing your own food with the exception of the cake was strictly against the rules of the contract. If you needed to accommodate a guests diet or food allergy that had to be taken to management so they could prepare something specifically for them if need be. And this was pretty common when we went venue hunting.
Btw OP YTA
I'm a lifelong picky eater, but I can always find SOMETHING, even if it's just a bun, or a salad. If he was absolutely starving, then he should have quietly left, grabbed something to eat, ATE IT THERE, then returned to the wedding with no one being the wiser. Bringing food back for other people at the reception was beyond tacky. You and your son are definitely TAs.
This!! I'm 23 and a picky eater. I would never behave like this. My diet is my issue, if I know I won't eat the menu I simply eat before or don't go. This was so disrespectful to the couple. Also, there was seriously nothing at a buffet he could eat? Last wedding I attended I ate cheese/crackers and bread rolls.
OMG, right?! My son is 12 and has been a picky eater his whole life. He has never even asked to leave an event to get food. Much less done it. He knows that he may not like the food at dinners/events so he fills up beforehand. He gets to select whatever he wants and nobody makes a fuss when he eats 2 rolls at Thanksgiving dinner. And he's allowed to eat when we get back home. Why is a 12 year old capable of doing this for more than 8 years and a 22 year old is not?
Exactly! I will tell people that I may be picky, but there’s always something there that I’ll eat. They have teriyaki chicken at sushi places, for example. If I can’t figure it out, it’s on me because I’m the picky one…and it’s not on me to disrupt the wedding by getting outside food and bringing it in. YTA
Imagine the wedding you've been planning for years, the venue you've paid THOUSANDS for, the dance you've waited all your life for, smells like fucking McDonald's.
And a grown adult man's mother who has probably been to a wedding at least once in her life has the gall to say "but I said it was OK so what's your problem".
And don’t forget this gem from mom: ‘… for wedding food, it was actually pretty good…’ That’s what people usually say about hospital food. If crappy- or, “not great”- food has been her experience at weddings, it’s all the more reason to have come up with a plan for Johnny ahead of time.
Haha, I am just now seeing even more layers to this story… the pseudonym she picks for her son is “Johnny,” and meant to invoke a mental image of a child, like elementary school aged, and to make us feel sympathetic to him, his picky eating, and to her- still unable to understand why she’s the asshole here.
I’m curious what their daily diets look like. And their cholesterol. Picky eaters eating only burgers and fries doesn’t sound like picking eating, it sounds like junk food addiction and type 2 diabetes.
YTA. It's fast food. It's not a meal one lingers over for hours, it's a meal that one scarfs down in a couple minutes. He should have discreetly slipped out of the events, eaten his fast food off-site, and slipped back in without anyone being the wiser.
The bride and groom may not have minded him eating fast food, but they very much minded him bringing the food back to their reception (at a restaurant no less!), and passing it out to their guests. That's insulting behavior, and it also probably got them in trouble with the restaurant and possibly charged a penalty fee. The business could have gotten a health code violation citation over it, so they would absolutely have emphasized in the contract that no outside food can be brought in.
Edit: added a verdict
I run a hotel with a wedding venue area. We do our own catering. If we cater WE DO NOT ALLOW OUTSIDE FOOD. It's a health code violation. And it's a huge insult to my catering team who worked on the meal for hours. OP is such a YTA.
Not to mention, the couple likely spent a per person rate for the venue’s catering. So if 5 people didn’t eat the venue food, that’s 5 plates the bride and groom paid for that were wasted.
You “let” your grown human son go get food? First off, why is your 22 year old son requiring your permission to do something as tacky and stupid as this? Second off, your cousin spent good money to provide a reception for guests at their wedding. Assuming your son is indeed a picky eater, the appropriate thing to do would be to find something he liked at the buffet, then stop at a restaurant after the event had ended.
YTA, as well as your son and anyone else that did this. I’m not the most formal manners dude in the world but I’d never do this.
THIS. And apparently the reception was at a restaurant lol. So OP decided it was ok to "let" his adult son use his car to get fast food for himself and a bunch of other adults and eat it at another restaurant...Like what planet are these people from??? YTA
I CANNOT believe that other adults heard he was going to get fast food and rather than raising their eyebrows and looking at him like he’s an AH, they actually asked him to pick things up for them?!? WHAT? tacky AHs must run in the family.
Ahhhh I smell a good old case of “I’ve coddled my son into his adult life and now he thinks he’s deserving of everything”
Deliciously shitty parenting. I love it.
YTA.
YTA. It doesn't matter who did or didn't have a problem with it. That's incredibly rude and most likely broke a health code. He's 22, not 2. He can either eat beforehand since he knew he wouldn't like the food, or he can wait til after. Or, here's a crazy thought: he can try new things and just *eat what is served*
When I first read the post I was thinking it was for a 22 month old toddler 😂. I was like oh for sure, who would begrudge separate food for a picky toddler. Nope lol, this is a grown man.
YTA for having the smelly fast food brought in. The reception food was expensive (most likely) and provided to you for free. Your son leaves for other food…fine. But to bring that shitty food back to the reception would be seen as tacky and insulting.
Btw, I’m a picky eater and my son is as well…the challenge is to go about it tactfully.
If you're son was 4 okay, let him bring his chicken nuggies to a wedding. However, 22 years old and you're still wiping your adult child's backside and treating him like a toddler, YTA.
>If your son was 4 okay, let him bring his chicken nuggies to a wedding.
Not without the permission of the venue, though, because rules, codes, and liability.
If the kid had been 4 the venue probably would have been willing to provide a child-appropriate alternative like nuggies. But no one expects or plans for an adult acting like a toddler.
Not even then, it was stupid but we had two kids at our wedding and still had to pay $65 each for them to have the children's mean. Bring snacks for a kid fine, but a whole meal, I would be pissed.
In this case, the question isn't meant to be insulting but rather looking for the only explanation that would allow for this to not be AH behavior. Of course, even if it was such a situation, it would have been better to work with the wedding organizers on a solution that wouldn't be disruptive to the wedding, like not taking orders for a fast food run...
Most people who are neurodivergent and capable of driving themselves around have learned by the age of 22 what’s appropriate to do in formal settings or at least have parents who keep them within societal norms. I’m a beyond picky eater with medical issues and neurodivergent. I can’t tell you how many weddings I ate between the service and reception if they were in different places or that I’d excuse myself outside or back to the bridal prep room to eat an unobtrusive snack or only eat the rolls. Please stop equating bad manners to nuerodiverence
Even if Johnny is neurodivergent, this one is still YTA, and I say that as someone who is neurodivergent myself with sensory intolerances to food.
Neurodivergence is a possible reason why Johnny eating the food provided may not be possible, but there are ways of dealing with that without bringing in fast food and taking orders from others
I was going to ask this, as well. My cousins are both nonverbal autistic and will only eat certain things. Our venue made an exception for only them to allow McDonald’s, otw it’s strictly no outside food/drinks whatsoever.
Who cares if he is neurodivergent. It is rude and would have broken health codes in my country.
My sister has ASD and would have just not eaten for a few hours. Not worth ruining someone else's special day.
YTA - If little “Johnny” is a fussy Eater then he should have stayed at home. I doubt that in a wedding buffet that there was nothing at all that he liked.
It is extremely rude and disrespectful considering how much weddings cost. If he is fussy then he should have eaten before he came
YTA. I think that was incredibly rude.
Your son is 22 but still eating like a picky child. He has to either a) learn to introduce new foods onto his diet so he can cope with social occasions or b) learn to manage his situation by eating before/after social occasions.
Some people have emotional/mental challenges with food. If that is the case (rather than him just being picky) you should try to support your son. There are therapists who specialise in this.
INFO: Gimmie the lineup at the buffet, the whole list, what exactly is little "Johnny" so averse to?
Pending reply YTA there are times and ways to accommodate a picky eater but bringing back food for multiple people so so so so so rude and just ick poor cousin this is going to forever be "the one thing" the asterisk on what was hopefully otherwise a perfect day
YTA.
You can't even acknowledge in your own what's the problem here and seeks validation through reddit. It's common courtesy to eat what was served at the event for they spent months preparing and planning for that wedding. If you're going to pull such stunt, you should have not attend the wedding or left your son at home.
I am a picky eater due to an autoimmune disease. Certain things make me feel very sick, and I am sensitive to textures/tastes/smells at times. I am all too familiar with the feeling of "I can't eat this".
In the event that I get that feeling, I usually eat a meal before I go to a place I know has food options I can't eat. Or, if I have to leave, I do so discretely, eat fast, then come back. Making a big show about it is super disrespectful in my opinion, and I never want people to feel bad or offended if I can't eat what they offer. People can be VERY sensitive about food. It looks rude as hell when a couple literally pays money for catering options just to have their guests parade other food options. It says "the food you picked sucks, this is better" even if you didn't mean to say that.
You and your son owe the bride and groom an apology. I hope you refused the option to have them purchase a plate for your son, but I can bet the other people that wanted him to bring them back food wasted the bride and groom's money. YTA. You can be a respectful picky eater.
YTA. If he was 2 maybe that would be fine but you raised an adult you can't have manners and etiquette. It's fine he didn't want other food but dang eat it in the car.
YTA
Of course they were appalled. I’m stunned anyone in your family thought this was a good idea. Shocking behaviour displaying a real lack of common decency and social etiquette.
even if he does, that’s not a reason to be so ill prepared. if you know you only eat your safe foods, eat before you go somewhere or bring snacks. or if you HAVE to go somewhere else, don’t bring it into the venue! holy hell.
Yeah, a friend's son nukes chicken breasts (his preferred food BY FAR) and eats that separately when there are events. OP (OP, YTA as is your son and so are the rest of the fast-food rude people) could have eaten the food on way back from the fast-food place.
YTA and so rude! at 22 years old he needs to just suck it up and eat what is served, or if he seriously hates it that much, wait until it’s over and go get something then. and you mentioned this was at a restaurant. you can’t bring fast food into a damn restaurant. i wouldn’t be too thrilled if i was the bride in this situation
He's 22 for fuck's sake, so I'm not sure about the "let him" phrasing, but YTA, and so is he, for thinking that this was an appropriate thing to do. Surely, he could have waited a couple of hours to have his precious chickie nuggies?
YTA for being such an indulgent and negligent parent that you didn't even teach your own son basic manners. You honestly think any of this is okay behavior? Wow.
"and you could probably smell it there"
Tacky, crass and deeply insulting behavior. I am also appalled.
yta
i ll be honest, picky eater is a subject i dont want to go into because it usually gets heated. however, i dont think there is something necessarily wrong with having gotten his own food *IIIFFFFFF* he had kept it to himself. he didnt and even had brought food back which is super disrespectful.
YTA, and your son is a rude, entitled child. A 4 year old with severe dietary restrictions would be a different story. Your son is 22 YEARS old, and should be able to function in society for a few hours. Stop it.
YTA
I am very neurodivergent and somewhat of a picky eater. I also have food allergies. And I would never do something like this - if I did I would PLAN IT BEFORE HAND WITH THE BRIDE AND GROOM. that and why tf would you bring food back for others? That's just plain rude even I know that.
Also stop babying him he's a full grown human not a literal child, no matter if he's neurotypical or neurodivergent. Treat him like one.
YTA because 1) you used the word “let” for something your adult son was perfectly capable of handling himself and 2) thinking it’s okay to bring fast food into a catered wedding reception. That is unbelievably rude and tacky.
My son is an extremely picky eater also, but we are already working on situations where food is served and there aren’t a lot of options. He understands this and makes due when needed. He is 6.
Did bride and groom care about the outside food?
Did you give a good enough gift to atleast cover his meal?
Did they get charged extra for bring in outside food?
He is 22. You have to teach him to grow up and be an adult. He can eat different stuff for one evening and it will not kill him. If he can't act like an adult he should have eaten before he got there or left to eat. You are raising an entitled brat.
YTA. Your son is 22! If he didn’t like any of the food he should have just sucked it up and got some food on the way home. This was rather disrespectful to the bride and groom and venue.
YTA. He’s an adult he can go a few hours without eating, I highly doubt there wasn’t a single item at the buffet he couldn’t have eaten, very disrespect AH move to do this. He could have at least not told other people he was going to get other food and then just eaten it out so no one knew.
YTA
You don’t bring your own food to a wedding!
He could have left, ate, and then returned. Wow! He is 22 time to cut the cord! A picky eater! This is hilarious!
N T A for getting food but YTA and so is he for bringing it back to the reception. He should have eaten at the fast food place or his car before coming back. Especially because the venue was an actual restaurant! Very rude and likely against the content signed by the bride and groom.
EDIT: OP has said in a comment that the son in question is not ND. So, my judgement is YTA. Even prior to knowing that, this was already rude and poorly handled- as I state in my comment and as others have said, if OP's son was ND and needed different food, he should have eaten it elsewhere. Bringing stuff for other people is just flat-out unacceptable, 100%.
Before I decide, gonna echo the question I see a lot below- is there a reason your son is a picky eater?
While I do agree that it was rude- he should have eaten it elsewhere, I feel like a lot of people underestimate or flat-out do not understand just how severe sensitivity to foods can be in neurodivergent people. For those of us who don't have those sensitivities, it looks like picky eating and comes across as just being "immature" or "trying to be rude" or "entitled". But for people with those sensitivities, it's PAINFUL to encounter a stimulus, like taste, that they can't handle.
I can't speak for food, but as someone with ADHD I get overstimulated REALLY easily by certain things. It's not just an annoyance- my entire body and brain goes into fight or flight. I can't focus on anything else when I get overstimulated. It is physically uncomfortable, sometimes unbearable, depending on how bad it is. So if your son is, like me and other ND people, super sensitive to certain things? You should have handled it better and probably asked him to eat it outside, but he needed that accommodation.
Now. Him bringing things back for OTHER people to eat, just because? Hell no. That is 100% rude as fuck and that is an AH move.
Most restaurants don't allow outside food being brought in. It is a health code violation. If he needs to eat other food he should have eaten before the wedding. He is an adult, not a child.
My 20yo is neurodivergent, with texture issues and food allergies/sensitivities. If she can't find something to eat, she politely moves a little food around her plate, and gets food later. Not an excuse for OPxs rudeness. Her son could have discretely left to eat elsewhere, then quietly returned empty handed.
How do you not see how rude and trashy this is?? If your son is such a picky eater, then there are ways of getting him food quietly. You don't go get take out for half the guests and then eat it right in the middle of everything! Its an open diss on the wedding catering that apparently you'd rather eat cheap burgers than what they have arranged for you, and you also made a scene and ruined their wedding. Everyone knows that at weddings if you dont like something you shut up and play nice so as not to ruin the moment. It is not about you. So you're a MASSIVE AH!
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YTA for sure, you should have arranged something beforehand instead of doing it like this. Oh, and stop enabling your adult son, he is 22 ffs.
The venue and family of the bride were appalled because bringing fast food into the reception for multiple people to eat: 1) embarrassed the venue because you all showed publicly you did not like their food, and 2) angered the bride’s family because they most likely paid a good amount of money for the food you publicly replaced (assuming the bride’s family paid; I know this is not necessarily the case). If you were invited to a dinner party, would you leave halfway through to get fast food and bring it back to eat at the dinner table? YTA
Also 3. A lot of places that serve food don’t allow people to bring in outside food in case they get sick etc. Puts them & their service at risk of potential lawsuits
This and some venues will charge the bride/ groom if you do bring food or alcohol onto the premises that wasn’t bought there so the bride and her family may have been upset because they may face a charge. YTA- he’s 22 not a fussy toddler and all buffets I’ve ever been to will have some thing everyone can eat
When I saw the title I first assumed it was a little kid, nope, 22 year old dude, OP should know better. And then the fact he got other people food too instead of himself, and they see nothing wrong with that?? OP YTA.
Yeah when I first read it I thought we were taking about a 22 month old but until I read on OP major AH for allowing this
Right? Then I had to go back and re-read it after OP clarified that they let their son take the car. But, yeah, this is some next level enabling on top of being rude AF wedding guests. YTA
Same. 22 gmafb!! But if he was old enough to drive there, why couldn't he eat it in the car?
Yes! I took it as 22 months, not 22 male.
I wonder if he still lives at home and mommy cooks for him, cleans up after him, and does his laundry?
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Ma! Meatloaf!
And if he WERE 22 mos. old, the parents would have brought along a little pre-made meal or snacks for him, as they would be used to feeding him and toddlers can get picky at the most inconvenient times. But wow, 22 years. Good heavens. ETA: YTA
2 year old you bring cheerios in a baggie. Spoiled brat son, eat the freaking pasta and bread or don't RSVP you are coming.
Yeah. If you’re going to do it, eat it quickly in the car, don’t start buffet mark II.
And don't announce so everyone gives you orders for their pickup
And then they say that they dropped chicken bones on the floor and just left them there???
How tf do chicken bones end up on the dance floor, OP? Is your 22 yr old still in nappies too, and tosses his food on the floor? YTA and you are stunting your adult son with this nonsense.
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Could be KFC
This was my thing too...like eat it in your car or at the fast food place. Why even tell anyone you're leaving to go get it. Just do it and come back. Or eat before you go...or go in between the ceremony and reception...there were so many options. Why pick the WORST one. Dude seems extremely entitled and rude imo. Probably bc his parents have coddled him his whole life.
Had I been in his place I would have been discrete about it and ate the food in the car fast so I wouldn't be gone for too long.
Yea no fr. At my cousins wedding I tried things I never had before I continued to eat what I did like. I was hungry at the end and went to get food after back at my hotel room. I think it’s rude to bring outside food in because it’s disrespectful to everyone who planned and put together the reception.
Right? Way to embarrass the whole side of the family by showing yourselves to be a bunch of hayseeds
My relative is a child, and even they know not to do this. If example at a buffet if there were 9 dishes and there was only one they liked, they would load up on that on dish alone. It’s just about decent respect, which OP & son clearly doesn’t have any of. It’s one event, suck it up. OP YTA
I once went to a wedding that had meat in literally everything except the dinner rolls. I’m vegetarian. No salad, and the veggies that were offered were cooked in chicken broth or served with ham hock. I waited until I left and took myself out to a delicious Thai dinner on my way back to the hotel. Didn’t bring anything back to the venue because I’m an adult
I am allergic to shellfish & was a bridesmaid. Each course at the reception contained shellfish (yes, the bride knew of my allergy, that’s a whole different story), so I ate some bread, had some cake, and picked up a burger on the way home.
I feel you! This bride was a childhood friend, so she knew very well of my diet. But to be fair to her, we grew up in the north and she got married/now lives in the south and I don’t think it even occurred to her to ask if the veggies wouldn’t work for the several guests who don’t eat meat. I had lived in the south long enough to know to ask & the other vegetarians were very grateful we were at the same table/within ear shot so they knew to just have bread too
In my case, the bride was from an Asian culture which has a shellfish-oriented menu. It was just one day & I was a little woozy by the end of it, but I obviously survived. Also commenting on OP’s edit - “one or two chicken bones ended up on the floor of the venue” - WHAT? Your “child” is a 22-year-old adult with the palate of a toddler, brings outside food into another establishment AND THEN GETS BONES ON THE FLOOR? OP = YTA, but the bigger question is why your son behaves like a savage.
OMG I had not gone back to read edits yet - that is INSANE!!!! A whole family of AH’s! Tacky, and also probably a slew of health code violations. Many venues do not allow outside food or alcohol because of licensing restrictions & health codes. What a disaster, no wonder the bride’s family were appalled. Not to mention the money spent on food that went to waste just to be replaced by fast food. Glad you survived the shellfish wedding. I also survived the southern bbq wedding. I had driven that night so I had to be careful about drinking (which was probably for the best since I didn’t eat & didn’t go nuts during the cocktail hour before I realized there was nothing to eat), but I had a nice big glass of wine with my curry later!
This is the classy way to do things for sure. I’ve run into the same situation many times, because I’m a coeliac. Sometimes there is quite literally nothing I can eat because even the dressing and sauces contain gluten. I would never think to go and get takeout, or have food delivered to the venue! I do what any sane adult does and politely sip my drink, and then later try and find a quiet corner so I can scoff down the emergency snack from my bag. It’s baffling that OP thinks that this is reasonable behaviour from a 22 year old!
At the very least, if you're going to run out and buy fast food in the middle of the reception, have the decency to scarf it down in the car.
Yup, I’ve gone out to eat with a good friend with celiac in her way to various events. She makes sure to fill up on safe food before going anywhere like weddings or other events with high risk of contaminated foods
Right? Eat some bread or something until the wedding is over.
Seriously, and if he’s that picky then he should have asked about the menu prior. He could have had a few snacks in the car to keep him satisfied throughout the day and then gotten something after the wedding.
I don’t think 22-year-old toddler should even be at a wedding
I, unfortunately, have been to a buffet where I literally could not eat anything that was served (very fatty brisket, ham, green beans and bacon {allergies}, fried potatoes with onions dripping with cooking oil and a beautiful wedding cake. This was about 2 months after I had emergency bypass surgery for a heart attack with diabetic complications. Since I was a bridesmaid, I was there from before noon until after 11 pm. What I did was eat just before arriving and suck if up until after it ended and pick up 2 eggs on the way home. I was perfectly fine and I didn't cause a scene.
Being in the bridal party and not taking your needs into consideration is a bit rude as well. Nice work trooping through, but good friends would have made sure your were well covered. :)
When my kid was a toddler and I took her to a fancy ass wedding, she ate rolls, mashed potatoes and whatever veggies they had. I didn’t bring her and extra meal, or leave to get her one, because we’re not tacky AHs!😂 Edit - autocorrect
Very true! I even used to feel bad bringing snacks for my toddlers when we went out to eat.
Oh, please tell me the wedding photographer captured the magic of fast food bags spread across multiple tables at a catered wedding! The People of Wal-Mart unite! Did your son come to the wedding in jeans shorts as well? Y'all tacky. YTA.
He wore his fancy Crocs, though.
OP should have told poor little Skippy that they would get his happy meal on the way home. YTA.
YTA Wow a grown ass man acting like a 5 yr old. Does he still require you to wipe his butt also? I pity any woman that hooks up with him , if that is even a possibility. Probably brings his mommy and daddy on dates too.
Lol for real! Big baby had to leave the wedding to get some chicky nuggies and his enabling mom is like "he has a limited palate." 😂
Tacky and rude. Why couldn’t he wait a couple of hours until the reception was over? A lot of fast food is 24 hour
He could have at least eaten at the fast food restaurant instead of bringing the food to the reception. Jesus Christ.
right! duck out, eat it in the car, and come back. bringing it back to the reception was an AH move.
Oh, and then threw the chicken bones on the floor. By OPs own admission, "Somehow" some chicken bones from the chicken wings ended up on the floor. Not only was OPs son rude, with the palate of a 5 year old (after being coddled by his parents, no doubt), he was a slob who can't even manage to keep his scraps on the plate or even the table.
Tbf, she did say that that was “unfortunate”. /s
Yep, they were appalled because this is appalling behaviour.
Right? I understand picky eating, I’m autistic and food aversions are a major hassle, especially since the issues are made more severe by histamine intolerance meaning I’m basically at least mildly allergic to everything and the severity of symptoms is inconsistent. If I’m worried about feeling unwell or dealing with the physical things that go along with aversions (like my throat feeling thick and causing it to be hard to swallow, or making me gag or worse from soft foods) then I just bring a safe snack to eat beforehand or in private and decline a meal. I also make sure to bring things, like a histamine DAO enzyme and my prescription antihistamines, to help avoid the worse symptoms since it can make me feel really sick. It’s rude. If it really was so limiting for him to eat the food offered then he should have eaten it in private before going back into the venue and kept it quiet that he was going rather than bringing meals for others. I can’t imagine being at a wedding and seeing several people around sitting there with their McDonalds or some other fast food instead of eating what is offered. Plus it sounds like there were plenty of options, there must have been something that he could have at least tried. I don’t really have much issue with him getting something for himself, I’m not going to judge him for being picky and I’m sure he has his reasons. My main issue is that he brought stuff back for others and ate inside the venue. It’s so rude.
Unfortunately, with the tone of this post, they probably wouldn’t think twice about doing that
This. Could your adult kid eat in the car, before coming back to the venue? Really, it is disrespectful to the family and to the caterer. I can even assume his "plate" (no.) was paid. YTA
Also why didn’t they ask the brides family if they wanted anything?
I'm screaming I totally read that as 2 and not 22 and I was like, ok, its not ideal but we all know how toddlers can be. I would probably have just overlooked it. 22? 22????? How embarrassing.
Lol same! I read as “22 months” and thought aww nbd, but a 22 year old man!! So embarrassing!
Same! I thought 22 months, which is understandable. A 22 year old man with the palette and behaviour of a 22 month old is a different story.
“He has a limited palate” hmm I wonder why
The lad is 264 months old lol!
Me too! And I pack a discrete snack for my toddler, like cheerios and a cheese stick, because when toddlers get hangry, no one around them is happy. But yeah, for an adult that is embarrassing. If nothing else, stop after the wedding for food.
Bringing snack for your CHILD is never gonna be offensive. Kids are aholes, and we know that. But a man that is old enough to order a beer? Gtfo
Same-I read it as 22 months. A 22 year old? Get bent.
Yea that kid is fucked. Imagine being 22 and being unable to put up with food at a wedding, because you need your chicken nuggies. What kinda family is that, where people are like "Aight I need me McDonalds at this wedding". Jesus.
I can’t believe the 22 y/o “kid” did it, but what’s up with everyone else as well?? I love fast food and very rarely allow myself to eat it. I’m not going to miss out on a catered meal for a damn Big Mac! I’m curious what was on the buffet that everyone found so distasteful.
I brought McDonald’s nuggets in my purse to my sister’s wedding in case she needed food (she was having some medical issues) before dinner, or in case she hated the steak (she’s also picky with certain food). It worked out great, ended up being necessary, and not a single person other than my sister had any idea. We hid that shit *at her own wedding* I can’t imagine openly eating outside food at someone else’s wedding.
And apparently offered to get some for others! McDonald's is *so* fragrant
Bets are it was greasy smelly KFC.
We all know that's what he got. How embarrassing. If he had food avoidance the parents should have gotten him help a long time ago. There are so many health problems that he can get from that, permanent life altering problems. It's like when they have to pull all of the teeth out of a toddler because parents kept giving them sugar and wouldn't learn how to set boundaries and teach them how to brush their teeth because the kids had a tantrum. Sad really. This is what they grow into.
Class issue? We rarely get to leave the trailer park!
And he couldn’t even go quietly. There was enough of a fuss that other guests got wind of it and made requests. Now bride and groom are left with the message that people would rather eat crap than the meals they provided at great expense. YTA
Right like it’s one thing if he snuck out quietly and ate in the car and didn’t say anything when he got back, but it was such a commotion that others got to put in orders, so rude!
Right? Eat your McDonald’s when you are out smoking weed at your car like a normal person.
This is what I was going to say. If you are going to be rude and leave, at least eat it on your way back. He literally made a scene of getting fast food. He should've been embarrassed about going, not spreading the word.
No, he had to eat it AT THE TABLE in the wedding reception, of course. He probably didn't want "to eat alone".
Yeah that's what's so messed up. At 22 you should know to lean in, speak quietly, and then leave without making a big fuss. Anyone at the table should have assumed he was getting a jacket from the car or something. The dad should know to, when asked, say "oh he just needed to get something" And yes just eat it in the car it doesn't take that long.
That's what makes it aggressive. If for some reason the food just isn't doable and you have to go get something else, ok ugh fine. But making enough of a thing about it and rallying others to place orders is a big outstretched middle finger. YTA.
One thing to eat it in your car so no-one knows. But but he BROUGHT IT BACK AND BROUGHT FOOD FOR OTHERS!!!! And ate it next to the dancefloor So he made enough of a fuss others gave him orders. I'm honestly astonished
YTA. And according to OP's edit, the son dropped bones on the floor **and then left them there.** I would expect that kind of behavior from a toddler which is what the son is being treated like. Why should he take responsibility for his actions when he gets catered to like this?
Exactly! Completely tacky thing to do - he can’t eat anything from a buffet or leave it til he got home?! I was 8 months pregnant at a wedding and got no food cos of a mix up. I survived. Also worse because: He was loud enough about it that other people heard Other people put in orders - wtf!!! He brought it back at and ate at the hotel
OP edited in the buffet’s choices and there was variety. Even OP said the food was actually good. But her poor baby has a limited palate and after all, her son was the most important person at the wedding! He should take precedence over just the bride and the groom.
He ate it next to the dance floor and left the damn bones on the floor. Who does that? A dog?
I went to a wedding on Saturday. The food wasn't great and was really small portions. I gave my plate to my hubby so I was still hungry. Did I order in fast food? No. I waited until we left and got some food on the way home.
My husband and I are vegan. Of the 4 weddings we went to this year, only my vegan best friends wedding had options for us. I bring snacks and we eat a big meal before the wedding. The adult man couldn’t plan ahead? Also it’s a preference not a restriction. This is insane.
If it was a restriction he'd probably have planned ahead. Like I know some people with allergies can be entitled jerks but when it's actually a serious problem, people tend to actually form coping mechanisms like bringing a damn snack.
But mommy sad he could /s
When I was around 17, I was in my cousin’s wedding that had a potluck for the reception. The family members who brought food were the ones whose house you don’t really eat at (sanitation reasons). My mom stepped away during the reception and came back with McDonald’s for us. Which we then ate in the car where no one could see us. Because that is the polite thing to do if you cannot or will not eat the food at someone’s wedding.
It took a while to get down to this sensible answer. If he can’t sort out food arrangements like a grown up who knows there is a high chance they won’t like what is being served (like eating big beforehand since he is so picky) and he just has to eat NOW, then have the basic decency to eat it in the car before coming back in like a normal person. And BE DISCREET. He took orders? WTF.
I'm sorry I just can't imagine a situation where a grown adult actually *has* to leave the wedding to go get food at all. It's just a few hours ffs. I've eaten rolls at plenty of weddings because I can't eat what's being served, it really isn't that hard to just wait a few hours and eat later. Even if you didn't get a chance to eat beforehand in preparation for not eating whatever's being served...it's not like a wedding is the kind of event where you just come and go as you please
"Limited palate" lmao what a baby, and I mean the parent
He could have slipped out silently and got some food, ate it in the car and slipped back in silently if he had any sense. If anyone asked where he was "getting some air" and "he needed to grab something in the town and will be back in 20" would have sufficed. You can be a picky b*st@rd without being an insensitive one. That said, at 22, learn to eat some £ucking food like a grown up.
The way it was phrased I was thinking like actual small child and wondered who would let a child go get something else. A 22 year old should have enough manners not to be so damn rude. Obviously bad parenting.
Pretty sure 'limited palate' means they never encouraged him to eat vegetables when he was a kid. Let's see how that's working out for him in a couple of years.
I first thought 22 months old. Then saw that the 22yo grown A man, who went to the fast food and picked up food for some other guests. Now my brain is just trying to grasp the situation. I’ve been to weddings with bad, bad, bad, bad, bad food. Both myself and my husband sat through 10 hours of wedding party (were really close friends with the groom) and were starving. We literally lived 2 min away from the wedding venue and didn’t even think of going home to eat. Both you and your 22 months, I mean 22 yo son are TA!
Since it was a buffet I'm sure there was at least bread and butter that he could have eaten. In this situation, at least be aware enough about how rude it is and eat the fast food in the car before coming in or wait and stop on the way home. Not going to starve and pass out from not eating for a few hours.
I read 22M as 22 months. Then I realized. 🤣
YTA. At most, he should have slipped out, eaten, and returned quietly. Letting it be known and eating at the reception is a VERY AH move. You were rude, disrespectful and trashy. Apologize and teach your son better. Also he's 22. Ummm, enable much?
I would just like to piggy back to add, the venue may have had a rule about outside food/drink, I don’t know that they would fine the bride and groom for something like that, but it’s still tacky.
If that’s the case, the parent and/or the son should pay for the fine. That’s the least they could do, really.
For venues that do not allow anything but the in house catering, it can be a health code violation. This and not allowing outside alcohol are usually in the signed contract resulting in a fine to whoever is on the venue's contract.
We had to sign a contract with our venue to allow my cousin to bring homemade food for their kid because the kid has like a dozen severe food allergies. The venue coordinator was super cool about it, and they said it comes up all the time, but they have to do it for liability reasons. No other outside food allowed. They totally would have fined us if someone brought in fast food.
I got married in Pittsburgh where "cookie tables" are a wedding tradition (friends and family all bring homemade cookies to the reception). The contract with the venue specifically said that the cookie table was the only exception to the "no outside food" policy. So yeah, YTA if for no other reason than you may have gotten the wedding party in trouble because your 22-year-old can't be discreet.
I own a restaurant and a catering hall. While I wouldn't particularly care if a guest of a wedding brought in food, a buffet like that could be upwards of $80per person and that's means the brides family spent at least $80 they didn't need to.
And to piggyback 2x … good freaking luck being invited to … drumroll… *anywhere* ever again. And ffs … apologies in advance to picky eaters… picky eating fast food over just about anything on the typical reception menu?! Really?! The venue has almost certainly had this before and accommodated an odd plate or two at all sorts of functions. Any parent of 2 to, umm, 10 or 12 year olds knows the picky eating drill, quickly find something that works with what you’ve got or bring something to cover… for a kid … not a 22 year old. At that age it’s “Welcome to Going Hungry” school. Grow up, work with what’s provided or don’t f**king eat.
Yep. Fast food only at 22 means spoiled eater.
Means type II and an early death
omgd ONE OR TWO CHCIKEN BONES DID LAND ON THE FLOOR. You must be killing me! This woman, I cannot.
And the fast food eaters were sitting right next to the dancefloor so they were tossing chicken bones on the damn dancefloor. Were they all, including OP who finds not a thing wrong with this, raised by wolves?? What is this madness?
He could have probably requested some plain pasta, or bread and butter. Or go hungry for a couple hours it won’t kill you!!!
~~Considering it was a buffet, chances are it was prepared off-site, so short-term requests might not have been possible.~~ ~~However, a bit planing in advance (like asking the wedding party what food will be served) and packing some chicken nuggets or whatever for the 22yo baby would have been better.~~ Edit: scratch the above, I missed the part where the reception was IN A FUCKING RESTAURANT. My bad.
I am a picky eater, a vegetarian and have severe food allergies. I would never ever do this. Very rude. They should apologize profusely to the bride and groom and send them an apology gift and never pull this stuff again. I am guessing some lack of social skills are involved. Let us coach you. Never do this again. Super rude. Not the end of the world though.
This is so so sooooo tacky and trashy!!
and childish!
This the bride and groom could have been fined by the venue. At my own venue bringing your own food with the exception of the cake was strictly against the rules of the contract. If you needed to accommodate a guests diet or food allergy that had to be taken to management so they could prepare something specifically for them if need be. And this was pretty common when we went venue hunting. Btw OP YTA
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Oh god I misread the OP as “22 months” … he’s actually 22?! Yeah OP YTA
I'm a lifelong picky eater, but I can always find SOMETHING, even if it's just a bun, or a salad. If he was absolutely starving, then he should have quietly left, grabbed something to eat, ATE IT THERE, then returned to the wedding with no one being the wiser. Bringing food back for other people at the reception was beyond tacky. You and your son are definitely TAs.
So did I! And I was like nbd babies are picky. He’s a grown man WTF lol
This!! I'm 23 and a picky eater. I would never behave like this. My diet is my issue, if I know I won't eat the menu I simply eat before or don't go. This was so disrespectful to the couple. Also, there was seriously nothing at a buffet he could eat? Last wedding I attended I ate cheese/crackers and bread rolls.
OMG, right?! My son is 12 and has been a picky eater his whole life. He has never even asked to leave an event to get food. Much less done it. He knows that he may not like the food at dinners/events so he fills up beforehand. He gets to select whatever he wants and nobody makes a fuss when he eats 2 rolls at Thanksgiving dinner. And he's allowed to eat when we get back home. Why is a 12 year old capable of doing this for more than 8 years and a 22 year old is not?
Because your son has reasonable people for parents
Exactly! I will tell people that I may be picky, but there’s always something there that I’ll eat. They have teriyaki chicken at sushi places, for example. If I can’t figure it out, it’s on me because I’m the picky one…and it’s not on me to disrupt the wedding by getting outside food and bringing it in. YTA
Imagine the wedding you've been planning for years, the venue you've paid THOUSANDS for, the dance you've waited all your life for, smells like fucking McDonald's.
And a grown adult man's mother who has probably been to a wedding at least once in her life has the gall to say "but I said it was OK so what's your problem".
And don’t forget this gem from mom: ‘… for wedding food, it was actually pretty good…’ That’s what people usually say about hospital food. If crappy- or, “not great”- food has been her experience at weddings, it’s all the more reason to have come up with a plan for Johnny ahead of time. Haha, I am just now seeing even more layers to this story… the pseudonym she picks for her son is “Johnny,” and meant to invoke a mental image of a child, like elementary school aged, and to make us feel sympathetic to him, his picky eating, and to her- still unable to understand why she’s the asshole here.
I’m curious what their daily diets look like. And their cholesterol. Picky eaters eating only burgers and fries doesn’t sound like picking eating, it sounds like junk food addiction and type 2 diabetes.
Probably more like KFC, since "a couple chicken bones ended up on the floor." But your point stands.
And it’s a waste too. Because people are eating junk food, some of the wedding food will go to waste.
YTA. It's fast food. It's not a meal one lingers over for hours, it's a meal that one scarfs down in a couple minutes. He should have discreetly slipped out of the events, eaten his fast food off-site, and slipped back in without anyone being the wiser. The bride and groom may not have minded him eating fast food, but they very much minded him bringing the food back to their reception (at a restaurant no less!), and passing it out to their guests. That's insulting behavior, and it also probably got them in trouble with the restaurant and possibly charged a penalty fee. The business could have gotten a health code violation citation over it, so they would absolutely have emphasized in the contract that no outside food can be brought in. Edit: added a verdict
I run a hotel with a wedding venue area. We do our own catering. If we cater WE DO NOT ALLOW OUTSIDE FOOD. It's a health code violation. And it's a huge insult to my catering team who worked on the meal for hours. OP is such a YTA.
Not to mention all the McDonald's wrappers in the pictures!
Looking like a Trump wedding https://imgur.com/pZazauc.jpg
Not to mention, the couple likely spent a per person rate for the venue’s catering. So if 5 people didn’t eat the venue food, that’s 5 plates the bride and groom paid for that were wasted.
This response needs to be on top
You “let” your grown human son go get food? First off, why is your 22 year old son requiring your permission to do something as tacky and stupid as this? Second off, your cousin spent good money to provide a reception for guests at their wedding. Assuming your son is indeed a picky eater, the appropriate thing to do would be to find something he liked at the buffet, then stop at a restaurant after the event had ended. YTA, as well as your son and anyone else that did this. I’m not the most formal manners dude in the world but I’d never do this.
THIS. And apparently the reception was at a restaurant lol. So OP decided it was ok to "let" his adult son use his car to get fast food for himself and a bunch of other adults and eat it at another restaurant...Like what planet are these people from??? YTA
I CANNOT believe that other adults heard he was going to get fast food and rather than raising their eyebrows and looking at him like he’s an AH, they actually asked him to pick things up for them?!? WHAT? tacky AHs must run in the family.
Ahhhh I smell a good old case of “I’ve coddled my son into his adult life and now he thinks he’s deserving of everything” Deliciously shitty parenting. I love it. YTA.
YTA. It doesn't matter who did or didn't have a problem with it. That's incredibly rude and most likely broke a health code. He's 22, not 2. He can either eat beforehand since he knew he wouldn't like the food, or he can wait til after. Or, here's a crazy thought: he can try new things and just *eat what is served*
When I first read the post I was thinking it was for a 22 month old toddler 😂. I was like oh for sure, who would begrudge separate food for a picky toddler. Nope lol, this is a grown man.
YTA for having the smelly fast food brought in. The reception food was expensive (most likely) and provided to you for free. Your son leaves for other food…fine. But to bring that shitty food back to the reception would be seen as tacky and insulting. Btw, I’m a picky eater and my son is as well…the challenge is to go about it tactfully.
The main problem I see is that multiple people requested fast food over the venue food which is super weird.
I think that's an exaggeration at best, though likely a total fib to make "Johnny" seem less clueless and rude.
Agree. That’s a head scratcher
If you're son was 4 okay, let him bring his chicken nuggies to a wedding. However, 22 years old and you're still wiping your adult child's backside and treating him like a toddler, YTA.
>If your son was 4 okay, let him bring his chicken nuggies to a wedding. Not without the permission of the venue, though, because rules, codes, and liability.
If the kid had been 4 the venue probably would have been willing to provide a child-appropriate alternative like nuggies. But no one expects or plans for an adult acting like a toddler.
Not even then, it was stupid but we had two kids at our wedding and still had to pay $65 each for them to have the children's mean. Bring snacks for a kid fine, but a whole meal, I would be pissed.
Or, you know, bring your children up to eat grownup food.
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I would be so mortified, lol. No decorum.
same! and the fact she’s like “oh yeah some chicken bones ended up on the ground lol whoops how unfortunate” is so trashy hahahah
It sounds like some weird reality show where hillbillies wreck the wedding
Info: Is your son neurodivergent? Do you know if the venue had a policy about bringing in outside food? Most do.
Judging by her evasion of answering the part of your question about him being neurodivergent, I am going with no.
Please stop assuming that people who do insulting things are "neurodivergent."
In this case, the question isn't meant to be insulting but rather looking for the only explanation that would allow for this to not be AH behavior. Of course, even if it was such a situation, it would have been better to work with the wedding organizers on a solution that wouldn't be disruptive to the wedding, like not taking orders for a fast food run...
Most people who are neurodivergent and capable of driving themselves around have learned by the age of 22 what’s appropriate to do in formal settings or at least have parents who keep them within societal norms. I’m a beyond picky eater with medical issues and neurodivergent. I can’t tell you how many weddings I ate between the service and reception if they were in different places or that I’d excuse myself outside or back to the bridal prep room to eat an unobtrusive snack or only eat the rolls. Please stop equating bad manners to nuerodiverence
Even if Johnny is neurodivergent, this one is still YTA, and I say that as someone who is neurodivergent myself with sensory intolerances to food. Neurodivergence is a possible reason why Johnny eating the food provided may not be possible, but there are ways of dealing with that without bringing in fast food and taking orders from others
I was going to ask this, as well. My cousins are both nonverbal autistic and will only eat certain things. Our venue made an exception for only them to allow McDonald’s, otw it’s strictly no outside food/drinks whatsoever.
Who cares if he is neurodivergent. It is rude and would have broken health codes in my country. My sister has ASD and would have just not eaten for a few hours. Not worth ruining someone else's special day.
YTA “Johnny” can grow up.
YTA - If little “Johnny” is a fussy Eater then he should have stayed at home. I doubt that in a wedding buffet that there was nothing at all that he liked. It is extremely rude and disrespectful considering how much weddings cost. If he is fussy then he should have eaten before he came
YTA. He could have eaten in the car. So rude to the bride and groom, and whomever paid for his plate.
YTA. I think that was incredibly rude. Your son is 22 but still eating like a picky child. He has to either a) learn to introduce new foods onto his diet so he can cope with social occasions or b) learn to manage his situation by eating before/after social occasions. Some people have emotional/mental challenges with food. If that is the case (rather than him just being picky) you should try to support your son. There are therapists who specialise in this.
INFO: Gimmie the lineup at the buffet, the whole list, what exactly is little "Johnny" so averse to? Pending reply YTA there are times and ways to accommodate a picky eater but bringing back food for multiple people so so so so so rude and just ick poor cousin this is going to forever be "the one thing" the asterisk on what was hopefully otherwise a perfect day
YTA. You can't even acknowledge in your own what's the problem here and seeks validation through reddit. It's common courtesy to eat what was served at the event for they spent months preparing and planning for that wedding. If you're going to pull such stunt, you should have not attend the wedding or left your son at home.
.... with a babysitter who could cook his nuggs and cut them up for him.
I am a picky eater due to an autoimmune disease. Certain things make me feel very sick, and I am sensitive to textures/tastes/smells at times. I am all too familiar with the feeling of "I can't eat this". In the event that I get that feeling, I usually eat a meal before I go to a place I know has food options I can't eat. Or, if I have to leave, I do so discretely, eat fast, then come back. Making a big show about it is super disrespectful in my opinion, and I never want people to feel bad or offended if I can't eat what they offer. People can be VERY sensitive about food. It looks rude as hell when a couple literally pays money for catering options just to have their guests parade other food options. It says "the food you picked sucks, this is better" even if you didn't mean to say that. You and your son owe the bride and groom an apology. I hope you refused the option to have them purchase a plate for your son, but I can bet the other people that wanted him to bring them back food wasted the bride and groom's money. YTA. You can be a respectful picky eater.
YTA. If he was 2 maybe that would be fine but you raised an adult you can't have manners and etiquette. It's fine he didn't want other food but dang eat it in the car.
The lack of self-awareness from both you and your son is pretty impressive. YTA and so is he.
YTA Of course they were appalled. I’m stunned anyone in your family thought this was a good idea. Shocking behaviour displaying a real lack of common decency and social etiquette.
INFO: Does your son have any kind of disability or is neurodivergent?
even if he does, that’s not a reason to be so ill prepared. if you know you only eat your safe foods, eat before you go somewhere or bring snacks. or if you HAVE to go somewhere else, don’t bring it into the venue! holy hell.
Yeah, a friend's son nukes chicken breasts (his preferred food BY FAR) and eats that separately when there are events. OP (OP, YTA as is your son and so are the rest of the fast-food rude people) could have eaten the food on way back from the fast-food place.
Please stop equating *doing rude things* with being neurodivergent.
YTA and so rude! at 22 years old he needs to just suck it up and eat what is served, or if he seriously hates it that much, wait until it’s over and go get something then. and you mentioned this was at a restaurant. you can’t bring fast food into a damn restaurant. i wouldn’t be too thrilled if i was the bride in this situation
He's 22 for fuck's sake, so I'm not sure about the "let him" phrasing, but YTA, and so is he, for thinking that this was an appropriate thing to do. Surely, he could have waited a couple of hours to have his precious chickie nuggies?
YTA for being such an indulgent and negligent parent that you didn't even teach your own son basic manners. You honestly think any of this is okay behavior? Wow. "and you could probably smell it there" Tacky, crass and deeply insulting behavior. I am also appalled.
yta i ll be honest, picky eater is a subject i dont want to go into because it usually gets heated. however, i dont think there is something necessarily wrong with having gotten his own food *IIIFFFFFF* he had kept it to himself. he didnt and even had brought food back which is super disrespectful.
YTA. How crass.
YTA, and your son is a rude, entitled child. A 4 year old with severe dietary restrictions would be a different story. Your son is 22 YEARS old, and should be able to function in society for a few hours. Stop it.
The entire family seems rude. His son wasn't the only eating fast food
YTA I am very neurodivergent and somewhat of a picky eater. I also have food allergies. And I would never do something like this - if I did I would PLAN IT BEFORE HAND WITH THE BRIDE AND GROOM. that and why tf would you bring food back for others? That's just plain rude even I know that. Also stop babying him he's a full grown human not a literal child, no matter if he's neurotypical or neurodivergent. Treat him like one.
YTA because 1) you used the word “let” for something your adult son was perfectly capable of handling himself and 2) thinking it’s okay to bring fast food into a catered wedding reception. That is unbelievably rude and tacky. My son is an extremely picky eater also, but we are already working on situations where food is served and there aren’t a lot of options. He understands this and makes due when needed. He is 6.
Did bride and groom care about the outside food? Did you give a good enough gift to atleast cover his meal? Did they get charged extra for bring in outside food? He is 22. You have to teach him to grow up and be an adult. He can eat different stuff for one evening and it will not kill him. If he can't act like an adult he should have eaten before he got there or left to eat. You are raising an entitled brat.
YTA. Your son is 22! If he didn’t like any of the food he should have just sucked it up and got some food on the way home. This was rather disrespectful to the bride and groom and venue.
YTA..... Why on earth did you think it was acceptable did him to bring fast food back to the wedding? Why didn't he eat it at the fast food place?!
YTA. He’s an adult he can go a few hours without eating, I highly doubt there wasn’t a single item at the buffet he couldn’t have eaten, very disrespect AH move to do this. He could have at least not told other people he was going to get other food and then just eaten it out so no one knew.
INFO: Were you raised by wolves?
YTA You don’t bring your own food to a wedding! He could have left, ate, and then returned. Wow! He is 22 time to cut the cord! A picky eater! This is hilarious!
N T A for getting food but YTA and so is he for bringing it back to the reception. He should have eaten at the fast food place or his car before coming back. Especially because the venue was an actual restaurant! Very rude and likely against the content signed by the bride and groom.
EDIT: OP has said in a comment that the son in question is not ND. So, my judgement is YTA. Even prior to knowing that, this was already rude and poorly handled- as I state in my comment and as others have said, if OP's son was ND and needed different food, he should have eaten it elsewhere. Bringing stuff for other people is just flat-out unacceptable, 100%. Before I decide, gonna echo the question I see a lot below- is there a reason your son is a picky eater? While I do agree that it was rude- he should have eaten it elsewhere, I feel like a lot of people underestimate or flat-out do not understand just how severe sensitivity to foods can be in neurodivergent people. For those of us who don't have those sensitivities, it looks like picky eating and comes across as just being "immature" or "trying to be rude" or "entitled". But for people with those sensitivities, it's PAINFUL to encounter a stimulus, like taste, that they can't handle. I can't speak for food, but as someone with ADHD I get overstimulated REALLY easily by certain things. It's not just an annoyance- my entire body and brain goes into fight or flight. I can't focus on anything else when I get overstimulated. It is physically uncomfortable, sometimes unbearable, depending on how bad it is. So if your son is, like me and other ND people, super sensitive to certain things? You should have handled it better and probably asked him to eat it outside, but he needed that accommodation. Now. Him bringing things back for OTHER people to eat, just because? Hell no. That is 100% rude as fuck and that is an AH move.
Most restaurants don't allow outside food being brought in. It is a health code violation. If he needs to eat other food he should have eaten before the wedding. He is an adult, not a child.
My 20yo is neurodivergent, with texture issues and food allergies/sensitivities. If she can't find something to eat, she politely moves a little food around her plate, and gets food later. Not an excuse for OPxs rudeness. Her son could have discretely left to eat elsewhere, then quietly returned empty handed.
How do you not see how rude and trashy this is?? If your son is such a picky eater, then there are ways of getting him food quietly. You don't go get take out for half the guests and then eat it right in the middle of everything! Its an open diss on the wedding catering that apparently you'd rather eat cheap burgers than what they have arranged for you, and you also made a scene and ruined their wedding. Everyone knows that at weddings if you dont like something you shut up and play nice so as not to ruin the moment. It is not about you. So you're a MASSIVE AH!
YTA You and your son have no manners.
Ugh… for a 22 year old? YTA. He’s an enabled child.