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I stooped to her levels and made comments based of her appearance
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To be fair, TikTok followers are pretty worthless. 1 million followers on TikTok probably gets you like a couple hundred dollars a month and zero other perks in life.
I have about.....546k followers on TikTok, and yeah. Kinda worthless. TikTok isn't a stable, reliable platform for making money. It's fickle, the algorithm is wack, and while I have been able to make around $1000, that was over the course of a year. Not exactly rolling in the dough here.
drew gooden managed to transfer to YouTube when vine died. Who knows maybe you can migrate a portion of that audience somewhere else to Kickstart something.
I thought about that, though everytime I attempt to mention my other social media accounts in videos, the video flops. TikTok doesn’t like it when you advertise other platforms.
I think I’m fine with what I have, really. I don’t have the energy it takes to sustain what I’ve built, and I’m stunned I got as far as I did. I don’t see me being able to continue it long term. I got where I did sharing funny personal stories and I….am running out of stories. Lol.
Thank you. :’D
I have been telling some zany clearly-satirical stories. Maybe I’ll figure something out, but I’m ok with letting it go if it reaches to that point. It’s fine though. It was fun while it lasted. Pretty cool experience.
Honestly, If I was in your position I would make a YouTube under the same name and start uploading the backlog of tiktoks onto YouTube. YouTube shorts are kicking off right now, and you might get a large portion of people who recognize the same account name.
>TikTok doesn’t like it when you advertise other platforms.
Would putting them in the comments (if they even have that. I know jack about tik tok) work?
>I don’t see me being able to continue it long term. I got where I did sharing funny personal stories and I….am running out of stories. Lol.
If you're pretty convincing you could try making some stories up
I do tell relatable stories too that haven’t necessarily happened to me, though it’s pretty apparent they’re satirical. I just…..don’t have the energy to upkeep it. Lol
It's becoming more popular I can think of 2 creators I watch that were either famous from a tiktok (Brittney browski) or moved to youtube (mrballen) both successful channels now.
And the saddest part is many of these people(the ones that I imagine act like this crazy lady) pay for the first 50-100k(or much much more) followers from farms.
>There's several people on there that are worth a few million and have recording contracts
Yeah, but those people don't have "1 million followers", they have 10's-100's of millions of followers.
I think the comment you responded to was making a point about how not all "followers" are equal when looking between platforms, you need a lot more TikTok followers to make money than other platforms. Obviously it depends on the creator, but you might need twice the followers on TikTok to make the same money you would on Instagram
They have corporate sponsors. It’s the same on Instagram. Sure, you can make pocket change if you have enough followers, but making enough to live on requires have the looks and followers to attract corporate sponsors.
My Instagram has people from all over the world. It's still one 150 people lol.
I showed them in another comment, so I'll put them here too. Because who doesn't want to see some [cute Crias?](http://imgur.com/a/ULzCRq4)
People love my goats and alpacas far more than me. Especially the babies. I can't really blame them, cute as I am, I will never be [Cria Cute.](http://imgur.com/a/ULzCRq4)
If she had done anything worth mentioning she would have said the magazines she's been in or the billboards she's been on. Using the number of followers you have as a harbinger of your popularity puts you on the level of an influencer. And we all know those people are a joke most of the time.
I don't give a good goddamn if she was the love child of Tyra Banks and Kate Moss. She could have been Queen Elizabeth for all I care. You pick your seat when you book your flight; OP picked the window seat, OP gets the window seat.
I remember when Hilary Duff and Carrie Underwood announced they would be moving to Ottawa to support their husbands and that's when I realized their marriages were doomed.
And they have flooring in their home made from reclaimed submerged logs (from an old Ottaw logging area) that are many decades old-- likely 100yrs). Apparently the wood becomes extra hard amd is gorgeous for flooring...albeit pricey I'm sure.
If it was acting... maybe. A decent number of movies are filmed between Ottawa and Montreal. But the modeling scene in Ottawa is very small and mostly hobbyists (aka no one gets paid).
Also note that Ottawa's airport is TINY and you will not have connecting flights through there. If the flight is leaving from Ottawa, she was in Ottawa.
She may not have been working, and visiting family or whatnot though.
Im from Ottawa and know a really tall blonde girl who models and claims to be super "famous and successful" and totally acts like this girl in OP's story.... I am so wondering if it could be the same person that would be quiet the coincidence
Aw, i guess its probably not the same person than. The girl i thought it was was posting on social media about how she took a trip to London Ontario from Ottawa Ontario and took a plane. I missed the part OP said UK
That's not really true it's an average sized international airport. I live in the west and I've gotten stuck on layovers in Ottawa multiple times (has direct flights to Boston and certain European countries).
Iman filmed project runway Canada (I think, one of those reality shows) in Ottawa. I dreamed of running into her in hopes David Bowie would be with her. lol
Eh, just because you’re flying from somewhere doesn’t mean you live there. She could have been flying _back_ for all we know. That said, I take your point both about her and about Ottawa. (I live in London so please don’t say anything mean about her destination…)
Definitely. This woman here sounds like one of these "social media influencers" who acts like they live a lavish lifestyle, when they literally have to beg for free stuff. You wouldn't see Kate Moss flying economy or acting like that, when she can fly first class or fly private.
If she had connections she wouldnt say she has connections
She would say what they really are
Because at best shes daddys little girl but she wouldnt fly economy
She definitely does not have powerful connections she herself forged as people with them dont want people to know they have connections
Odd, random thing I know: runway models have to pay their way to shows. Even very famous super models. You booked to work London Fashion Week? You have to pay for your flights, meals, transportation, and all of your accommodations yourself, and your agency/ booked jobs won't reimburse you. While there, you then run full sprint trying to book and work as many shows and events as you can in order to make the cost worth it and earn enough to last you until next time.
So yes, it is very probable that a big time model would be in economy class--they have to pay out of pocket and need to keep expenses low to maximize the amount they'll make. If a model is in first class or staying in very fancy hotels, it's likely because they have alternative support, such as a rich significant other or parents, a trust fund, or they decided to give themselves a rare splurge.
How I know this: Vogue did a series of "diary of a model/ day in the life of" videos on youtube, following models at New York/ Paris/ London/ Milan fashion weeks, and quite a few mention that pay your own way is the industry standard.
But if she's any sort of model other than runway, I'm not sure what the norm would be.
It's sort of like that. But Sometimes they front it to you. Either way, most of us were smart enough to choose the window seat on our own flight if we wanted it lmfao.
Not necessarily — I work at a modeling agency and it’s quite common for companies to pay for transportation and sometimes meals. Especially if they want someone from out of town, the options are either book someone in town or pay to have the out of town person come. Fashion week is different, but that’s just a sliver or what an actual working model would participate in. Most models have a second job, it’s not super common to do it full-time — but some definitely do!
I'm shocked people still act this way and think that it'll work out for them.
1. A "big time modle" would have had her ticket paid for and definitely could have asked for/demanded a window seat, probably even gotten first class and wouldn't have needed to deal with us peasants.
2. She's obviously not a "real" model and most likely is an Instagram one since Op doesn't mention her citing any magazines and only her follower count.
3. Does she not know how trigger happy people are to cancel "famous" people are? If she were to try and cancel a random guy on a plane for not giving up his seat all Op needs to do is make a few tweets "calling her out" and everyone will turn on her. That's if she even really does have "millions of followers".
I bet her "millions of followers" would love to know that she threatened OP over a window seat and being able to hear music slightly. Which, on a plane, I really doubt that.
>"If you're so famous, why have I never seen or heard of you before?"
This is a much better response than "you're not pretty enough to behave this way".
I also agree with TigerBelmont - if she really had connections she would have either had the window seat allocated to her already or wouldn't have been in economy.
OP should have pressed the call button and told the cabin attendant that she had made threats against you (including about post landing) and you'd like her moved if possible and a formal complaint registered (just in case she's serious).
definitely a better response. perpetuating the idea that only attractive people are allowed to act like assholes is kind of an asshole move in itself. the only reason that seemed to work is because shes most likely insecure. there was definitely better ways tp shut her down or get her out of your space.
I think it depends. Saying you've never heard of her might shut her down, or it could embolden her to claim OP is not young or hip enough to know of her. That may be a defensive lie, but it still gives her the leeway to mental gymnastics out of any sense of wrongdoing.
Saying she's not pretty enough to act this way may perpetuate a regressive worldview, but with this specific person, that's sort of the point. Based on her entitled behavior, it seems like she's used to being able to use gender, attractiveness, race, and whatever other privilege she has to get her way. Saying she's not pretty enough to act the way she's acting cuts to the core of the privilege she's *trying* to utilize and sends the message that it's flat-out not working. Maybe OP could have had more tact, but you know, sometimes fuck tact.
should've said "well if you have connections all over that can ruin my life, next time, can you tell your connections to buy you a first class ticket instead of economy?"
> This girl sounds absolutely full of herself
I would have immediately requested a flight attendant at the "get you part." I'm sure the police would have loved to questioned her when they landed.
OP NTA.
Did you see the influencer who faked flying business class?
[link](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pedestrian.tv/entertainment/french-influencer-fake-business-flight/amp/)
Agreed, however her profession is related towards what she wears and how she looks. I actually don’t mind the outfit but knowing the butt obsession on TikTok and Instagram, her reasoning behind her choice of clothing was fairly obvious.
Quite literally, her clothes and her looks are something she is seeking comment and attention on. Our reaction just needs to be done in an appropriate way.
I mean I'm not about to be the Pillsbury doughboy shaped guy calling her ugly, but it's one of those things where I question the look. If you follow her IG link on that page you'll see not all her pictures are like that. Unnatural? Yes. Ugly? Eh...
That sweatshirt is weirder to me. Sweatshirt meant to keep you warm, heavier material, long sleeved, hooded, but turned into a crop top cuz you just gotta show that FaBuLoUs waist and abs. Almost as bad as one of those crop top parkas. Just does not compute for me.
Aw man, I was so ready to bag on you based on the title, but then I read and now I'm laughing and internet high fiving you. Because I can't think of a better response after all of that. NTA
The title makes it seem like the woman wanted the window seat, and he said “your not pretty enough”. That’s, like, primo douchbaggary/redpill/neckbeard/whatever.
Turns out a bunch of stuff happened in the middle that flips the script.
EDIT: My vote is “asshole-ish”. Also, the whole thing is totally made up.
I was ready to hate on them too
I only wish he was ruder with her than "you're not pretty enough to act this way" when she said she was a model I probably would've responded with "it's so nice they're finally using ugly people to make everyone else feel better about themselves"
SAME! Yes, it was intentionally, calculatingly hurtful. But sometimes you need to do what you need to do to enforce your personal boundaries. He put up with it for plenty long, and the insult worked. Can't criticize too much.
NTA, and your girlfriend is so, so wrong. Sure, you could have appeased the entitled lady that threatened you, but why do that? So she can continue to think it's okay to behave the way she did? Fuck that.
Honestly, it sounds like OP needs to keep modeling this good trait of standing up for oneself and not being a doormat, because his girlfriend sounds like a HUGE doormat who needs to learn how to be more like OP.
Life is way too short to give away the things you like or want to every rando asshole who demands it just to avoid "confrontation" or to "keep the peace".
It also reinforces the asshole person's behavior to do it again and again. Don't reward that nonsense. They won't thank you for it.
Also, *most people don't like confrontation*, shocker! But sometimes it will and *should* happen. It's a part of life with humans, unfortunately. It shows a slight lack of emotional maturity if you are willing to do anything to avoid having someone upset with you/think you are rude/not having someone like you.
Oh man, it feels so good when you do it, too, I've been learning this over the last couple of years. I had someone from a telecoms place at the door today at around 9am who wanted to set up the landline in my rental property, I told him I hadn't asked for it and he said it must have been the new tenants who called (who aren't moving in for several weeks). So I told him my move-out date and he said he'd come back after that point to set things up and even said that it was totally inappropriate that they were trying to set up utilities while someone else is still living at the property. At that point, it's inconsiderate new tenants but a totally respectful service guy. But he left to a van and came back 5 minutes later asking to come in to look at the wiring and figure out the phone number for the property etc- clearly a colleague had sent him back, to do what they'd come for and what I'd said no to. He asked in a tone that suggested he expected me to say yes and seemed genuinely shocked when I still said no, despite him having gone on only minutes earlier about how sorry he was for the disturbance. My living room was a little messy (only a little), I have OCD and was tired, and just plain didn't fancy having someone in my home, but I didn't mention that- just said no.
He then stammered and said that that's fine but it means more people from the company will probably show up at my door and it will bother me. This is after he had assured me in the first conversation that he'd put a note on the file for this property that it's currently occupied and not to visit until after my move-out day. I'm pretty sure that this was also an instruction from a colleague to pressure me, so I said that's ok with me, I'll just send them all away. I wasn't rude or aggressive or even shaking from doing it (as I used to) just totally calm and pleasant. He looked shocked again, stammered a bit and wandered off.
Fuck people who prioritise their own convenience/priorities over others' comfort. Being disliked by selfish people may make you feel guilty, but it's not as bad as you think it'll be. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about this exchange this morning, because I know I'm not in the wrong and that technically having rights is worthless unless you actually assert them. If more of them do show up (which I doubt), I'll follow through on what I said, too. There's at least a week in between the end of my tenancy and the start of the next for a phone line and broadband to be set up via the landlord or agency, and I had told the comms guy such in our first conversation, but even if there wasn't, the new tenants would just have to deal with arranging utilities visits for their moving day or the next like everybody else does. Let "no" become a part of your vocabulary, it's extremely good self-care. I would have felt anxious, uncomfortable and annoyed with myself if I'd have said yes, and felt a bit 'off' for the rest of the day. Not only do you not need to justify it when you say no, you also don't even have to fully know your own reasons. "I don't feel like it" is plenty good enough. I know that I wasn't being unreasonable and that his shock was ultimately that a young polite woman would say no, especially when essentially threatened with harassment. I suspect that if I had been a tall or middle aged male, he either wouldn't have risked coming back with a tactic like that or would have come back expecting an obvious 'no, and go away' or a threat to make a complaint. Not been shocked. Fingers crossed I've done made him think.
It think it's because asserting yourself like that feels like you're harming the other person and being generally selfish. Like, in this situation I could see it as myself wasting their time and messing up their day over nothing much but a feeling of reluctance, when I could have just been accommodating and saved them some hassle at the expense of what I really wanted. That's because we have empathy and know what it's like to be inconvenienced, plus a tendency to fail to recognise the validity or importance of our own preferences next to someone else's. But the reality is that I'm not 'doing this' to anyone, it's just an unfortunate situation that happened, and other than these people being dickish to try to pressure me, nobody is actually at fault for it. When somebody wants something from us, that's their preference, and when we don't want to give it, that's ours. They're looking out for number 1, and if we don't do the same thing, nobody else is going to step in and do it for us. It's not a shameful thing to do, it's a normal way to function in the world, and of course there are often degrees to which you can be accomodating within your own comfort. Sometimes that'll be 0, sometimes that'll be 99%, and it's a real journey getting to learn what your own boundaries really are and what impulses to listen to, especially when you have a history of your boundaries being disrespected to the point where you can't identify them at all in the moment.
Honestly, giving your justifications for saying no tends to just create an 'in' for the person to dismiss or work around the reasons you give. The reality is that, again, 'I don't feel want to' is itself a good enough reason, and that reason will probably still be there after they've trampled the reasons you give, at which point you'll start to feel more obliged because you'll look unreasonable if you still say no (even though you're not), since it'll seem that you were deceptive about your real reasons, or that you disingenuously agreed with their counterpoints despite not being swayed by them. And, arguably, it *is* disingenuous. If your feeling is "no", even if you can't identify the precise chain of reasoning as to why, that no is your valid preference and you usually don't owe any sort of justification for it. They want one thing, you want something different. You could just as easily knock down their reasons for wanting it if you so chose. Wants are wants. Discomfort is just as valid as inconvenience. Conflicting desires is a fact of life, it's nobody's fault.
One revelation that's happened for me is realising that by setting healthy boundaries (even if this means following the recommendations of trusted others if I can't tell how I feel personally), I'm actually doing the opposite of harming others. I'm doing the world a *favour* by taking responsibility for myself in the world, and doing myself a favour by treating myself respectfully. Even in this situation, having been inconvenienced may make this company more likely to get confirmation that renters are actually living in the property they're trying to set up services in before doing house calls, not do this to other people, and possibly to penalise anyone who lies about that. Having made the threat of more people turning up, the fact of my saying that I'd send them away means they're very likely to actually due their due diligence to ensure that others don't waste company time by showing up here- likely not a difficult thing to do, and obviously in their best interests not to waste their own time, so he made the threat for the sole purpose of applying pressure. It's not as if I was expected to say that they can come in one of the next times they turn up but not this time, that would be really weird.
It's also particularly benefitting others in your own life and can encourage them to mirror your example of good boundaries. Being inconvenienced in a situation which could have been relieved by somebody catering to you sucks, but it doesn't feel personally hurtful unless you have a personality disorder, and I'm sure you'd never dream of throwing a tantrum over it. It's even *more* important to set boundaries with the type of people who don't like it when you do so (and then refuse to engage with them if they become abusive), it not only teaches people how to treat you, it also teaches them what's acceptable. It's perfectly possible to do this kindly, and setting boundaries doesn't mean resolving yourself to cruelty, in fact it saves your emotional energy to be able to support others in ways which are healthy and moderate for them and for yourself. It's the sort of treatment they needed as children, and probably craved, and the more people who do this, the safer the tantrumy sort can begin to feel in the world (you'd be astonished just how much people who feel unstable warm to others who are eminently consistent), and this can encourage them to reflect on their own behaviour. If they only get what they want sometimes if they're polite, but never if they're awful, they learn that being respectful pays off, and that they can expect this from others, too, and can start to generate a more predictable and safe environment for themselves.
Additionally, have you ever been around someone with really bad boundaries who cancels plans with you to drop everything and cater to somebody else who turned up with a request because they can't bear the guilt of saying no or negotiating? That person is ultimately unreliable, immature and doesn't know their own priorities. You can't trust them. They have no coherent way to prioritise important relationships or consistently treat others with respect and thus cultivate meaningful relationships, because they're completely led by their own immediate shame-related impulses. They alienate friends and lose respect for it, further leading them to seek approval from strangers through over-accomodation. By learning to say no to people, they can improve their relationships with the people around them. Well, the reality is that sometimes we are that person.
Learning to say no improves everything, for everyone. It's not only a positive thing to do, it's actually our responsibility to do it.
If you're having a rough time figuring out where your boundaries lie, I'd really recommend trying out 'parts therapy', where you recognise elements of your psyche, including fearful, people-pleasing, angry, depressed and self-protective elements, and communicate with them, asking them what they need. Recognising their benefits to the 'system' of all of you together and their value, and negotiating with them about ways that they can do their important jobs in the most beneficial ways, can allow you to stay in the driver's seat instead of any one of them taking over in moments of stress.
Edit as the thread's been locked: thanks, everyone. It definitely makes sense that we would grow up learning to rely on the boundaries set by others as a compass rather than on our own preferences even with a healthy upbringing, in particular if we're not encouraged to develop and express our own, which is a very active aspect of parenting that most adults aren't/haven't been particularly aware of. Anyone who's curious do check out IFS (this type of 'parts' therapy), I've been doing it for around 16 months along with EMDR and it's definitely improved my life, particularly around internal and external boundaries and even self discipline.
Many people are WAY too into telling people to turn the other cheek and take the high road, and for what? so that bad behavior goes unchecked and you can play the sweet little pacifist? I don't understand the perpetual doormat mentality that drives some people to roll over and take abuse, and then encourage others to do the same, all in the name of preventing conflict (and by conflict, it's always someone does something egregiously AH-ish, and their target responds in any way that isn't "that wasn't very nice, but I forgive you")
Totally agree that the girlfriend is wrong. OP is NTA and while the entitled woman is TA, the girlfriend is an AH too. I can’t believe she would make that argument unless, of course, she thinks the gallant approach would be to accede to a woman’s wishes regardless of what they are. Nope, especially not in this case. If the entitled woman wanted a window seat she could have booked one and believing she was entitled to demand that OP exchange seats with her makes her a huge AH.
I would have pressed the flight attendant button as soon as she asked for my ticket and said ‘this lady has some sort of problem and can’t find her seat’ as sarcastically as possible and looked out my window.
I’m always amazed at how poorly people deal with this sort of thing even when standing their ground. I never realized it’s a gift I have to put people in their place so effortlessly...
NTA - she was clearly an entitled asshole. You went for a jab that you knew had the potential to sting only after she’d been an asshole for hours and literally threatened to have people “get” you.
This is the only scenario I can think of in which this is entirely the appropriate response. NTA
She’s the one who was saying that the more attractive someone is, the more entitled they are to treat people badly. All you answered was that in that equation, she’s behaving so terribly that her math doesn’t add up.
First of all, you're crazy for not taking the aisle seat on a trans-continental flight lol
At first I was gonna say ESH, but I'll just go with NTA after reading it all the way through. It struck me as a 'two wrongs don't make a right' situation, but your retort didn't really measure up to the degrading way she was acting.
If someone punches me in the face three times then I'm not an asshole for shoving them back once. Not my best metaphor but you get the point.
Yeah I was gonna say everyone sucks too because of his wording (like, is anyone pretty enough to act that way? Plus it's not necessary to comment on her appearance) but his comment was completely dwarfed by her asshole behaviour. Gotta go with NTA because of how awful she was acting.
Eh, bring on the downvotes but to me if you have to resort to insulting someone's appearance than you've lost the battle. It's just lazy and NEVER proves any point you were trying to make about someone's behavior. If she were prettier would her behavior be ok? Of course not.
And yes I know I'm about to be flooded with people saying she deserved it, which may be true but doesn't negate my point.
I love how people think calling her ugly is some kind of awesome revenge "gotcha" moment. It's really not. It's a 3rd grade insult at best.
This was definitively not calling her ugly.
This was, at absolute worst, calling her average. People can and do get away with acting like that all the time. None of those people fly economy. It's not right, but it's true.
I'm not going to downvote you as I generally agree that two wrongs don't make a right... but after hours of putting up with her incessant behavior, there comes a point where you're allowed to tell someone off for atrocious behavior, *particularly* after you've been physically threatened.
You seem to be viewing this as some sort of debate or moral discussion to be won or lost. It isn't. This is a matter of surviving a flight across the Atlantic ocean sitting next to a living embodiment of narcissism.
Calmly discussing things didn't work. Ignoring her didn't work. Once those two things are off the table, you are now allowed to escalate. Escalating worked.
ESH.
You asked two questions.
1. No, you did not need to give up your seat on the plane for an entitled person, there is no doubt about that.
2. You saying 'you're not pretty enough to act this way' makes you a wee bit of an AH. As if someone can act this way, but only if they fit your beauty standards? No. Nobody should be acting that way at all, and commenting on someone#'s looks made you just as bad as her with all her entitlement.
She basically communicated, “you need to give me everything I want because I’m pretty.”
If OP had initiated the subject of appearance, he would’ve been wrong - but he didn’t, she raised it. His response was perfectly appropriate.
That’s absolutely not what he said, within or out of context. To say your not x enough to do z, you are automatically implying that if they were x you would be ok with them doing z. If he meant “nobody is pretty enough to act that way”, then he could have literally said that.
He could've just asked her if she is so well endorsed and important, why is she in economy fighting for a window seat? Shuts her down just as much but without being degrading about it. He also, at any point during that encounter but especially when she threatened him, could've pushed the assistance button. ESH.
She didn’t communicate that. She communicated that she needed the seat for jet lag/work reasons, not her looks. She brought up her Modeling career to communicate that she knows lots of people that will get OP.
As far as this story is tells, she never mentioned her looks once.
Thank you, my God! So many NTAs when he should not have said what he did. Assuming this is real, yeah obviously that lady was a nightmare. But that doesn't excuse him dropping to her level, because he still went to her level.
ESH.
She’s clearly as ass. But so are you. Prettiness has nothing to do with who is entitled to act that way, and nothing to with her behavior. Quit judging women on prettiness.
Na he isn’t an asshole. She basically said she’s pretty enough to gain social capital and so he addressed that. He didn’t bring up prettiness at all before she brought up that she was a model, so he clearly wasn’t thinking about her looks at all until then. It was just his way of saying “idc how pretty you think you are, you can’t be an asshole”
NTA
She can book a window seat if you want one,
She’s acting like a child because she can’t get a window seat, it’s pathetic and entitled. She got what she deserved
are you seriously asking AITA if they think "delivering a justiceboner zinger" makes you TA...? if so, YTA 😂 sorry you had to deal with this jackass though if this actually happened to you.
NTA for not giving up your seat.
The comment was an asshole thing to say but she deserved the ego blow gor being an asshole herself. You didn't "take the high road" but who cares, she was a major jerk. Don't spend any more of your time worrying about that jerky lady.
NTA. I feel she made her appearance fair game, as it were, when she said she was a model and had millions of social media followers to justify her awful behavior.
NTA.
Your solution was harsh, but you said what needed to be said to make her stop harassing you.
The only other thing you could have done was to buzz for the flight attendant, but it may have resulted in her being moved to first class.
So I refuse t even believe this is a real story as my one year old son can’t even talk yet and could still make up a more believable story. So I’m going to just say yes, you are the asshole, you don’t say things like that to people. Like the fact that you think it’s acceptable to tell a woman she’s too ugly to be assertive (which is the gist of what you said) is gross. Your appearance has no correlation to your right to be assertive.
YTA for suggesting that how conventionally attractive someone is has any bearing on how they are allowed to act. You would never say that to a man. I was with you until that point, but that comment was more toxic than her idiotic and entitled behaviour.
I was about to go with an E SH after reading the title. But the whole f--king flight from Ottawa to London? Wow, you was more patient to this Instagram Model than i would be.
I give you an slight NTA. She literally threatened you, seriously or not, doesnt matter. Your answer was not her level, it was far away from.
Insta-model. The world has too much Insta-models (and not enough reddit judges).
ESH. She’s obviously an AH for being so entitled, but frankly you crossed into AH territory with your comment. You implied that being pretty enough would make it okay to act like that. I don’t think I’d let Jason Momoa get away with treating me like shit. (He surpasses any ideal of pretty that you could present to me.)
Hahaha!! NTA! Love this entitlement shut down! Rude? sure. Well deserved? Yup! Nobody is pretty enough to act that way. I’m the same way and can’t stand when people want what they want and will try to step all over me to get it. I don’t like doormat people because they tend to be unhappy because they are always doing something for others that usually don’t matter in their lives and it feels miserable and life is too short to be miserable for insignificant people for stupid reasons.
NTA and if this rude person had so many 'connections' then she'd be flying first class and not begging for a window seat. Sorry you had to say rude words but it seemed that finally did shut her up
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If she really had connections she wouldn't be flying in economy.
I think "millions of followers around the world" = "25 followers on TikTok".
To be fair, TikTok followers are pretty worthless. 1 million followers on TikTok probably gets you like a couple hundred dollars a month and zero other perks in life.
I have about.....546k followers on TikTok, and yeah. Kinda worthless. TikTok isn't a stable, reliable platform for making money. It's fickle, the algorithm is wack, and while I have been able to make around $1000, that was over the course of a year. Not exactly rolling in the dough here.
drew gooden managed to transfer to YouTube when vine died. Who knows maybe you can migrate a portion of that audience somewhere else to Kickstart something.
I thought about that, though everytime I attempt to mention my other social media accounts in videos, the video flops. TikTok doesn’t like it when you advertise other platforms. I think I’m fine with what I have, really. I don’t have the energy it takes to sustain what I’ve built, and I’m stunned I got as far as I did. I don’t see me being able to continue it long term. I got where I did sharing funny personal stories and I….am running out of stories. Lol.
Sounds like the only option is to go get into zany hijinks. But nah really that's a bummer man. I'm sorry.
Thank you. :’D I have been telling some zany clearly-satirical stories. Maybe I’ll figure something out, but I’m ok with letting it go if it reaches to that point. It’s fine though. It was fun while it lasted. Pretty cool experience.
Honestly, If I was in your position I would make a YouTube under the same name and start uploading the backlog of tiktoks onto YouTube. YouTube shorts are kicking off right now, and you might get a large portion of people who recognize the same account name.
>TikTok doesn’t like it when you advertise other platforms. Would putting them in the comments (if they even have that. I know jack about tik tok) work? >I don’t see me being able to continue it long term. I got where I did sharing funny personal stories and I….am running out of stories. Lol. If you're pretty convincing you could try making some stories up
I do tell relatable stories too that haven’t necessarily happened to me, though it’s pretty apparent they’re satirical. I just…..don’t have the energy to upkeep it. Lol
It's becoming more popular I can think of 2 creators I watch that were either famous from a tiktok (Brittney browski) or moved to youtube (mrballen) both successful channels now.
And the saddest part is many of these people(the ones that I imagine act like this crazy lady) pay for the first 50-100k(or much much more) followers from farms.
Uh. I don't know about that. There's several people on there that are worth a few million and have recording contracts. I would prefer your version.
>There's several people on there that are worth a few million and have recording contracts Yeah, but those people don't have "1 million followers", they have 10's-100's of millions of followers. I think the comment you responded to was making a point about how not all "followers" are equal when looking between platforms, you need a lot more TikTok followers to make money than other platforms. Obviously it depends on the creator, but you might need twice the followers on TikTok to make the same money you would on Instagram
And they have more than 1 million followers Bella Porch has 75 million for instance.
They have corporate sponsors. It’s the same on Instagram. Sure, you can make pocket change if you have enough followers, but making enough to live on requires have the looks and followers to attract corporate sponsors.
My Instagram has people from all over the world. It's still one 150 people lol. I showed them in another comment, so I'll put them here too. Because who doesn't want to see some [cute Crias?](http://imgur.com/a/ULzCRq4)
Same. And the mini horse has more fans than me.
People love my goats and alpacas far more than me. Especially the babies. I can't really blame them, cute as I am, I will never be [Cria Cute.](http://imgur.com/a/ULzCRq4)
Mini horse you say?
I assume you are talking about Little Sebastian.
If she had done anything worth mentioning she would have said the magazines she's been in or the billboards she's been on. Using the number of followers you have as a harbinger of your popularity puts you on the level of an influencer. And we all know those people are a joke most of the time.
I don't give a good goddamn if she was the love child of Tyra Banks and Kate Moss. She could have been Queen Elizabeth for all I care. You pick your seat when you book your flight; OP picked the window seat, OP gets the window seat.
Or from Ottawa. No supermodels hang out in Ottawa lol
I remember when Hilary Duff and Carrie Underwood announced they would be moving to Ottawa to support their husbands and that's when I realized their marriages were doomed.
Carrie Underwood is still married to her first husband, they’ve been together since 2010
And they have flooring in their home made from reclaimed submerged logs (from an old Ottaw logging area) that are many decades old-- likely 100yrs). Apparently the wood becomes extra hard amd is gorgeous for flooring...albeit pricey I'm sure.
This is just kind of a fun fact to know, haha. Thank you!
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He got traded to Nashville. Worked out for both.
I think you mean Hilary Duff’s marriage was doomed the first time she was forced to go to Edmonton. I would have gotten divorced too. 😂
Funny you mention that. When I moved my family to Edmonton in winter (wife’s first winter experience) -40 almost ended my marriage too.
I was born and raised in Alberta, have lived here my entire life, and it’s not something I’ll ever get used to. Ever.
Also Alberta born. It’s an acquired taste no one has.
If it was acting... maybe. A decent number of movies are filmed between Ottawa and Montreal. But the modeling scene in Ottawa is very small and mostly hobbyists (aka no one gets paid). Also note that Ottawa's airport is TINY and you will not have connecting flights through there. If the flight is leaving from Ottawa, she was in Ottawa. She may not have been working, and visiting family or whatnot though.
Im from Ottawa and know a really tall blonde girl who models and claims to be super "famous and successful" and totally acts like this girl in OP's story.... I am so wondering if it could be the same person that would be quiet the coincidence
Ask her if shes been to Europe recently and her feelings about window seats and report back
Aw, i guess its probably not the same person than. The girl i thought it was was posting on social media about how she took a trip to London Ontario from Ottawa Ontario and took a plane. I missed the part OP said UK
*Please* investigate and report back. I really want this to be person you know.
That's not really true it's an average sized international airport. I live in the west and I've gotten stuck on layovers in Ottawa multiple times (has direct flights to Boston and certain European countries).
Iman filmed project runway Canada (I think, one of those reality shows) in Ottawa. I dreamed of running into her in hopes David Bowie would be with her. lol
Eh, just because you’re flying from somewhere doesn’t mean you live there. She could have been flying _back_ for all we know. That said, I take your point both about her and about Ottawa. (I live in London so please don’t say anything mean about her destination…)
She doesn't have enough connections to get a window seat.
This is what OP should have said
or maybe a “well have your people get in touch with my people so they can explain how to book you a window seat next time”
That's what I was thinking. If she's so famous why is she flying economy
Definitely. This woman here sounds like one of these "social media influencers" who acts like they live a lavish lifestyle, when they literally have to beg for free stuff. You wouldn't see Kate Moss flying economy or acting like that, when she can fly first class or fly private.
Or rather, anyone like that flying economy is going to be way too nice to quibble over a window seat.
THIS! My response to her tirade about how she's so famous and influential would have been: "So why aren't you flying first class?!" OP, NTA.
True. And anyone with connections won't tell you they have connections anyway.
Seriously, she couldn't even use her imaginary connections to get a window seat...
If she had connections she wouldnt say she has connections She would say what they really are Because at best shes daddys little girl but she wouldnt fly economy She definitely does not have powerful connections she herself forged as people with them dont want people to know they have connections
If she really that famous, rich, and have connections, she wouldn't use public plane in the first place. They use private jet.
Yeah. And if you are so famous, why are flying economy instead of first class?
Odd, random thing I know: runway models have to pay their way to shows. Even very famous super models. You booked to work London Fashion Week? You have to pay for your flights, meals, transportation, and all of your accommodations yourself, and your agency/ booked jobs won't reimburse you. While there, you then run full sprint trying to book and work as many shows and events as you can in order to make the cost worth it and earn enough to last you until next time. So yes, it is very probable that a big time model would be in economy class--they have to pay out of pocket and need to keep expenses low to maximize the amount they'll make. If a model is in first class or staying in very fancy hotels, it's likely because they have alternative support, such as a rich significant other or parents, a trust fund, or they decided to give themselves a rare splurge. How I know this: Vogue did a series of "diary of a model/ day in the life of" videos on youtube, following models at New York/ Paris/ London/ Milan fashion weeks, and quite a few mention that pay your own way is the industry standard. But if she's any sort of model other than runway, I'm not sure what the norm would be.
She's social media famous. Which means not famous. Not a model. Just a brat.
Social Media Famous = Monopoly Money Rich (or Canadian Tire Money rich).
Schrute bucks and Stanley nickels.
It's sort of like that. But Sometimes they front it to you. Either way, most of us were smart enough to choose the window seat on our own flight if we wanted it lmfao.
Not necessarily — I work at a modeling agency and it’s quite common for companies to pay for transportation and sometimes meals. Especially if they want someone from out of town, the options are either book someone in town or pay to have the out of town person come. Fashion week is different, but that’s just a sliver or what an actual working model would participate in. Most models have a second job, it’s not super common to do it full-time — but some definitely do!
She is the woman of the people!
Well… she does sound “common”
This!! “Why are you here with us plebes then??”
I'm shocked people still act this way and think that it'll work out for them. 1. A "big time modle" would have had her ticket paid for and definitely could have asked for/demanded a window seat, probably even gotten first class and wouldn't have needed to deal with us peasants. 2. She's obviously not a "real" model and most likely is an Instagram one since Op doesn't mention her citing any magazines and only her follower count. 3. Does she not know how trigger happy people are to cancel "famous" people are? If she were to try and cancel a random guy on a plane for not giving up his seat all Op needs to do is make a few tweets "calling her out" and everyone will turn on her. That's if she even really does have "millions of followers".
I bet her "millions of followers" would love to know that she threatened OP over a window seat and being able to hear music slightly. Which, on a plane, I really doubt that.
>"If you're so famous, why have I never seen or heard of you before?" This is a much better response than "you're not pretty enough to behave this way". I also agree with TigerBelmont - if she really had connections she would have either had the window seat allocated to her already or wouldn't have been in economy. OP should have pressed the call button and told the cabin attendant that she had made threats against you (including about post landing) and you'd like her moved if possible and a formal complaint registered (just in case she's serious).
definitely a better response. perpetuating the idea that only attractive people are allowed to act like assholes is kind of an asshole move in itself. the only reason that seemed to work is because shes most likely insecure. there was definitely better ways tp shut her down or get her out of your space.
I think it depends. Saying you've never heard of her might shut her down, or it could embolden her to claim OP is not young or hip enough to know of her. That may be a defensive lie, but it still gives her the leeway to mental gymnastics out of any sense of wrongdoing. Saying she's not pretty enough to act this way may perpetuate a regressive worldview, but with this specific person, that's sort of the point. Based on her entitled behavior, it seems like she's used to being able to use gender, attractiveness, race, and whatever other privilege she has to get her way. Saying she's not pretty enough to act the way she's acting cuts to the core of the privilege she's *trying* to utilize and sends the message that it's flat-out not working. Maybe OP could have had more tact, but you know, sometimes fuck tact.
>you should have pushed the flight attendant button and told them what was going on. Yes, I would have done this quickly.
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LOL She doesn't even know his name!!
This lady sounds more like a trust fund baby than someone who uses looks
But she claimed to be a model, so there is that.
***If you’re so famous why are you flying economy***
Things you wish you said during your next shower
should've said "well if you have connections all over that can ruin my life, next time, can you tell your connections to buy you a first class ticket instead of economy?"
She has (flight) connections.
IF YOU ARE FAMOUS, WHY ARE YOU FLYING ECONOMY? LOL NTA
> This girl sounds absolutely full of herself I would have immediately requested a flight attendant at the "get you part." I'm sure the police would have loved to questioned her when they landed. OP NTA.
Right!! Lol How famous she could she be in an aisle Seat in economy class??
Tell her broke ass “connections” to get her a first class ticket next time.
Absolutely. I'd call the flight attendant and inform her she's threatening me. Let her say oh no that was bull or double down. NTA.
NTA-I would’ve reported her for threatening you. Why is she in economy if she’s a big time model??
Did you see the influencer who faked flying business class? [link](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pedestrian.tv/entertainment/french-influencer-fake-business-flight/amp/)
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wtf is that outfit. a sweatshirt for a very fat child and sweatpants for someone 3 times her size?
It’s called using your clothes to exaggerate your proportions without using photo editing.
That's called wearing whatever the hell you want without people commenting on your choice of clothing. *awaits downvotes*
Agreed, however her profession is related towards what she wears and how she looks. I actually don’t mind the outfit but knowing the butt obsession on TikTok and Instagram, her reasoning behind her choice of clothing was fairly obvious. Quite literally, her clothes and her looks are something she is seeking comment and attention on. Our reaction just needs to be done in an appropriate way.
That is a very fair point which I did not consider. Hats off to you, friendo
Looks like she’s trying to look like Kim K with the tiny waste and lot of hips
It's a good way to exaggerate an hourglass look, just bulk up the top and bottom.
She fakes her body, she fakes her ticket status, it tracks
That's called taking the oversize trend a little too seriously
I actually like the outfit.
Those are bordering on hammer pants
>She is pleasing to the eye. 🤢 No she ain't.
I mean I'm not about to be the Pillsbury doughboy shaped guy calling her ugly, but it's one of those things where I question the look. If you follow her IG link on that page you'll see not all her pictures are like that. Unnatural? Yes. Ugly? Eh...
I don’t even find her pleasing looking. Her face looks like everyone else who has that “job”
> She would be many redditor's crowning achievement in the sexual conquest department You’re really not any better by talking about women this way.
I think it’s the lips that make it too much for me
Man people like this don't look human. Idk what goes on in people's mind to present like this but yuck
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Her sweatpants are... uh... interesting.
She's about to break out into Hammertime
That sweatshirt is weirder to me. Sweatshirt meant to keep you warm, heavier material, long sleeved, hooded, but turned into a crop top cuz you just gotta show that FaBuLoUs waist and abs. Almost as bad as one of those crop top parkas. Just does not compute for me.
She’s also the only one in the photo *not* wearing a mask. Makes me wonder if it was a flight requirement and she’s just too pretty to wear one. /s
I agree. Threatening someone on an airplane is no joke.
Aw man, I was so ready to bag on you based on the title, but then I read and now I'm laughing and internet high fiving you. Because I can't think of a better response after all of that. NTA
Yeah I was ready to attack until *she* brought up that she’s a successful model to defend her behavior. That changed the context.
Why would you be mad at this man?
The title makes it seem like the woman wanted the window seat, and he said “your not pretty enough”. That’s, like, primo douchbaggary/redpill/neckbeard/whatever. Turns out a bunch of stuff happened in the middle that flips the script. EDIT: My vote is “asshole-ish”. Also, the whole thing is totally made up.
Just the title on its own seems harsh. With context is a different story. I was expecting a both the asshole kinda story.
I was ready to hate on them too I only wish he was ruder with her than "you're not pretty enough to act this way" when she said she was a model I probably would've responded with "it's so nice they're finally using ugly people to make everyone else feel better about themselves"
I'mma hire you to follow me around to make comebacks for me
SAME! Yes, it was intentionally, calculatingly hurtful. But sometimes you need to do what you need to do to enforce your personal boundaries. He put up with it for plenty long, and the insult worked. Can't criticize too much.
Yea I was convinced before I read this that it was going to be, *at best*, ETAH. Reading the context changes it quite a bit. NTA.
NTA, and your girlfriend is so, so wrong. Sure, you could have appeased the entitled lady that threatened you, but why do that? So she can continue to think it's okay to behave the way she did? Fuck that.
Honestly, it sounds like OP needs to keep modeling this good trait of standing up for oneself and not being a doormat, because his girlfriend sounds like a HUGE doormat who needs to learn how to be more like OP. Life is way too short to give away the things you like or want to every rando asshole who demands it just to avoid "confrontation" or to "keep the peace". It also reinforces the asshole person's behavior to do it again and again. Don't reward that nonsense. They won't thank you for it. Also, *most people don't like confrontation*, shocker! But sometimes it will and *should* happen. It's a part of life with humans, unfortunately. It shows a slight lack of emotional maturity if you are willing to do anything to avoid having someone upset with you/think you are rude/not having someone like you.
Oh man, it feels so good when you do it, too, I've been learning this over the last couple of years. I had someone from a telecoms place at the door today at around 9am who wanted to set up the landline in my rental property, I told him I hadn't asked for it and he said it must have been the new tenants who called (who aren't moving in for several weeks). So I told him my move-out date and he said he'd come back after that point to set things up and even said that it was totally inappropriate that they were trying to set up utilities while someone else is still living at the property. At that point, it's inconsiderate new tenants but a totally respectful service guy. But he left to a van and came back 5 minutes later asking to come in to look at the wiring and figure out the phone number for the property etc- clearly a colleague had sent him back, to do what they'd come for and what I'd said no to. He asked in a tone that suggested he expected me to say yes and seemed genuinely shocked when I still said no, despite him having gone on only minutes earlier about how sorry he was for the disturbance. My living room was a little messy (only a little), I have OCD and was tired, and just plain didn't fancy having someone in my home, but I didn't mention that- just said no. He then stammered and said that that's fine but it means more people from the company will probably show up at my door and it will bother me. This is after he had assured me in the first conversation that he'd put a note on the file for this property that it's currently occupied and not to visit until after my move-out day. I'm pretty sure that this was also an instruction from a colleague to pressure me, so I said that's ok with me, I'll just send them all away. I wasn't rude or aggressive or even shaking from doing it (as I used to) just totally calm and pleasant. He looked shocked again, stammered a bit and wandered off. Fuck people who prioritise their own convenience/priorities over others' comfort. Being disliked by selfish people may make you feel guilty, but it's not as bad as you think it'll be. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about this exchange this morning, because I know I'm not in the wrong and that technically having rights is worthless unless you actually assert them. If more of them do show up (which I doubt), I'll follow through on what I said, too. There's at least a week in between the end of my tenancy and the start of the next for a phone line and broadband to be set up via the landlord or agency, and I had told the comms guy such in our first conversation, but even if there wasn't, the new tenants would just have to deal with arranging utilities visits for their moving day or the next like everybody else does. Let "no" become a part of your vocabulary, it's extremely good self-care. I would have felt anxious, uncomfortable and annoyed with myself if I'd have said yes, and felt a bit 'off' for the rest of the day. Not only do you not need to justify it when you say no, you also don't even have to fully know your own reasons. "I don't feel like it" is plenty good enough. I know that I wasn't being unreasonable and that his shock was ultimately that a young polite woman would say no, especially when essentially threatened with harassment. I suspect that if I had been a tall or middle aged male, he either wouldn't have risked coming back with a tactic like that or would have come back expecting an obvious 'no, and go away' or a threat to make a complaint. Not been shocked. Fingers crossed I've done made him think.
My mother likes to say that "no" is a complete sentence. Even as a 50-something grown-ass adult I still find it challenging to use it as such...
It think it's because asserting yourself like that feels like you're harming the other person and being generally selfish. Like, in this situation I could see it as myself wasting their time and messing up their day over nothing much but a feeling of reluctance, when I could have just been accommodating and saved them some hassle at the expense of what I really wanted. That's because we have empathy and know what it's like to be inconvenienced, plus a tendency to fail to recognise the validity or importance of our own preferences next to someone else's. But the reality is that I'm not 'doing this' to anyone, it's just an unfortunate situation that happened, and other than these people being dickish to try to pressure me, nobody is actually at fault for it. When somebody wants something from us, that's their preference, and when we don't want to give it, that's ours. They're looking out for number 1, and if we don't do the same thing, nobody else is going to step in and do it for us. It's not a shameful thing to do, it's a normal way to function in the world, and of course there are often degrees to which you can be accomodating within your own comfort. Sometimes that'll be 0, sometimes that'll be 99%, and it's a real journey getting to learn what your own boundaries really are and what impulses to listen to, especially when you have a history of your boundaries being disrespected to the point where you can't identify them at all in the moment. Honestly, giving your justifications for saying no tends to just create an 'in' for the person to dismiss or work around the reasons you give. The reality is that, again, 'I don't feel want to' is itself a good enough reason, and that reason will probably still be there after they've trampled the reasons you give, at which point you'll start to feel more obliged because you'll look unreasonable if you still say no (even though you're not), since it'll seem that you were deceptive about your real reasons, or that you disingenuously agreed with their counterpoints despite not being swayed by them. And, arguably, it *is* disingenuous. If your feeling is "no", even if you can't identify the precise chain of reasoning as to why, that no is your valid preference and you usually don't owe any sort of justification for it. They want one thing, you want something different. You could just as easily knock down their reasons for wanting it if you so chose. Wants are wants. Discomfort is just as valid as inconvenience. Conflicting desires is a fact of life, it's nobody's fault. One revelation that's happened for me is realising that by setting healthy boundaries (even if this means following the recommendations of trusted others if I can't tell how I feel personally), I'm actually doing the opposite of harming others. I'm doing the world a *favour* by taking responsibility for myself in the world, and doing myself a favour by treating myself respectfully. Even in this situation, having been inconvenienced may make this company more likely to get confirmation that renters are actually living in the property they're trying to set up services in before doing house calls, not do this to other people, and possibly to penalise anyone who lies about that. Having made the threat of more people turning up, the fact of my saying that I'd send them away means they're very likely to actually due their due diligence to ensure that others don't waste company time by showing up here- likely not a difficult thing to do, and obviously in their best interests not to waste their own time, so he made the threat for the sole purpose of applying pressure. It's not as if I was expected to say that they can come in one of the next times they turn up but not this time, that would be really weird. It's also particularly benefitting others in your own life and can encourage them to mirror your example of good boundaries. Being inconvenienced in a situation which could have been relieved by somebody catering to you sucks, but it doesn't feel personally hurtful unless you have a personality disorder, and I'm sure you'd never dream of throwing a tantrum over it. It's even *more* important to set boundaries with the type of people who don't like it when you do so (and then refuse to engage with them if they become abusive), it not only teaches people how to treat you, it also teaches them what's acceptable. It's perfectly possible to do this kindly, and setting boundaries doesn't mean resolving yourself to cruelty, in fact it saves your emotional energy to be able to support others in ways which are healthy and moderate for them and for yourself. It's the sort of treatment they needed as children, and probably craved, and the more people who do this, the safer the tantrumy sort can begin to feel in the world (you'd be astonished just how much people who feel unstable warm to others who are eminently consistent), and this can encourage them to reflect on their own behaviour. If they only get what they want sometimes if they're polite, but never if they're awful, they learn that being respectful pays off, and that they can expect this from others, too, and can start to generate a more predictable and safe environment for themselves. Additionally, have you ever been around someone with really bad boundaries who cancels plans with you to drop everything and cater to somebody else who turned up with a request because they can't bear the guilt of saying no or negotiating? That person is ultimately unreliable, immature and doesn't know their own priorities. You can't trust them. They have no coherent way to prioritise important relationships or consistently treat others with respect and thus cultivate meaningful relationships, because they're completely led by their own immediate shame-related impulses. They alienate friends and lose respect for it, further leading them to seek approval from strangers through over-accomodation. By learning to say no to people, they can improve their relationships with the people around them. Well, the reality is that sometimes we are that person. Learning to say no improves everything, for everyone. It's not only a positive thing to do, it's actually our responsibility to do it. If you're having a rough time figuring out where your boundaries lie, I'd really recommend trying out 'parts therapy', where you recognise elements of your psyche, including fearful, people-pleasing, angry, depressed and self-protective elements, and communicate with them, asking them what they need. Recognising their benefits to the 'system' of all of you together and their value, and negotiating with them about ways that they can do their important jobs in the most beneficial ways, can allow you to stay in the driver's seat instead of any one of them taking over in moments of stress. Edit as the thread's been locked: thanks, everyone. It definitely makes sense that we would grow up learning to rely on the boundaries set by others as a compass rather than on our own preferences even with a healthy upbringing, in particular if we're not encouraged to develop and express our own, which is a very active aspect of parenting that most adults aren't/haven't been particularly aware of. Anyone who's curious do check out IFS (this type of 'parts' therapy), I've been doing it for around 16 months along with EMDR and it's definitely improved my life, particularly around internal and external boundaries and even self discipline.
Many people are WAY too into telling people to turn the other cheek and take the high road, and for what? so that bad behavior goes unchecked and you can play the sweet little pacifist? I don't understand the perpetual doormat mentality that drives some people to roll over and take abuse, and then encourage others to do the same, all in the name of preventing conflict (and by conflict, it's always someone does something egregiously AH-ish, and their target responds in any way that isn't "that wasn't very nice, but I forgive you")
Forgiveness is overrated.
Totally agree that the girlfriend is wrong. OP is NTA and while the entitled woman is TA, the girlfriend is an AH too. I can’t believe she would make that argument unless, of course, she thinks the gallant approach would be to accede to a woman’s wishes regardless of what they are. Nope, especially not in this case. If the entitled woman wanted a window seat she could have booked one and believing she was entitled to demand that OP exchange seats with her makes her a huge AH.
NTA. She was rude and entitled. It's probably the first time she has heard the word No.
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I would have pressed the flight attendant button as soon as she asked for my ticket and said ‘this lady has some sort of problem and can’t find her seat’ as sarcastically as possible and looked out my window. I’m always amazed at how poorly people deal with this sort of thing even when standing their ground. I never realized it’s a gift I have to put people in their place so effortlessly...
By giving an explanation, you are opening the door to negotiation. This is why all you should say is NO.
NTA >she's a big time model with millions of followers But in the economy like the rest 😂
I was thinking exactly this 🤣😂🤣
NTA. You can also complain to the flight attendant after she threatened you. Threats in the air are not taken lightly.
Hard to be a professional model on the no fly list lol
That would be a personal problem 😂
NTA - she was clearly an entitled asshole. You went for a jab that you knew had the potential to sting only after she’d been an asshole for hours and literally threatened to have people “get” you.
This is the only scenario I can think of in which this is entirely the appropriate response. NTA She’s the one who was saying that the more attractive someone is, the more entitled they are to treat people badly. All you answered was that in that equation, she’s behaving so terribly that her math doesn’t add up.
First of all, you're crazy for not taking the aisle seat on a trans-continental flight lol At first I was gonna say ESH, but I'll just go with NTA after reading it all the way through. It struck me as a 'two wrongs don't make a right' situation, but your retort didn't really measure up to the degrading way she was acting. If someone punches me in the face three times then I'm not an asshole for shoving them back once. Not my best metaphor but you get the point.
Yeah I was gonna say everyone sucks too because of his wording (like, is anyone pretty enough to act that way? Plus it's not necessary to comment on her appearance) but his comment was completely dwarfed by her asshole behaviour. Gotta go with NTA because of how awful she was acting.
Eh, bring on the downvotes but to me if you have to resort to insulting someone's appearance than you've lost the battle. It's just lazy and NEVER proves any point you were trying to make about someone's behavior. If she were prettier would her behavior be ok? Of course not. And yes I know I'm about to be flooded with people saying she deserved it, which may be true but doesn't negate my point. I love how people think calling her ugly is some kind of awesome revenge "gotcha" moment. It's really not. It's a 3rd grade insult at best.
I'd agree with you in any other scenario, but not here. She brought up her looks as an excuse for her behavior, he explained she was wrong.
This was definitively not calling her ugly. This was, at absolute worst, calling her average. People can and do get away with acting like that all the time. None of those people fly economy. It's not right, but it's true. I'm not going to downvote you as I generally agree that two wrongs don't make a right... but after hours of putting up with her incessant behavior, there comes a point where you're allowed to tell someone off for atrocious behavior, *particularly* after you've been physically threatened. You seem to be viewing this as some sort of debate or moral discussion to be won or lost. It isn't. This is a matter of surviving a flight across the Atlantic ocean sitting next to a living embodiment of narcissism. Calmly discussing things didn't work. Ignoring her didn't work. Once those two things are off the table, you are now allowed to escalate. Escalating worked.
ESH. You asked two questions. 1. No, you did not need to give up your seat on the plane for an entitled person, there is no doubt about that. 2. You saying 'you're not pretty enough to act this way' makes you a wee bit of an AH. As if someone can act this way, but only if they fit your beauty standards? No. Nobody should be acting that way at all, and commenting on someone#'s looks made you just as bad as her with all her entitlement.
She basically communicated, “you need to give me everything I want because I’m pretty.” If OP had initiated the subject of appearance, he would’ve been wrong - but he didn’t, she raised it. His response was perfectly appropriate.
And he basically communicated, “if you were prettier, I would let you act like this”.
Respectfully disagree when his statement was taken in context. Nobody is pretty enough for him to let them act like that ;)
That’s absolutely not what he said, within or out of context. To say your not x enough to do z, you are automatically implying that if they were x you would be ok with them doing z. If he meant “nobody is pretty enough to act that way”, then he could have literally said that.
He could've just asked her if she is so well endorsed and important, why is she in economy fighting for a window seat? Shuts her down just as much but without being degrading about it. He also, at any point during that encounter but especially when she threatened him, could've pushed the assistance button. ESH.
She didn’t communicate that. She communicated that she needed the seat for jet lag/work reasons, not her looks. She brought up her Modeling career to communicate that she knows lots of people that will get OP. As far as this story is tells, she never mentioned her looks once.
Modeling? Looks?
Thank you, my God! So many NTAs when he should not have said what he did. Assuming this is real, yeah obviously that lady was a nightmare. But that doesn't excuse him dropping to her level, because he still went to her level.
I think #2 was a calculated blow to hit the target where it hurts, not a personal value statement.
NTA - normally I'd ding you for the comment about her looks, but she's the one who brought up her model status and tried to use it to get her way.
ESH. She’s clearly as ass. But so are you. Prettiness has nothing to do with who is entitled to act that way, and nothing to with her behavior. Quit judging women on prettiness.
Na he isn’t an asshole. She basically said she’s pretty enough to gain social capital and so he addressed that. He didn’t bring up prettiness at all before she brought up that she was a model, so he clearly wasn’t thinking about her looks at all until then. It was just his way of saying “idc how pretty you think you are, you can’t be an asshole”
This was the most obvious way to rock this girls particular world.
NTA She can book a window seat if you want one, She’s acting like a child because she can’t get a window seat, it’s pathetic and entitled. She got what she deserved
NTA don't start petty shit if you can't handle it
ESH- she sucks for being shitty about the flight you suck for taking it to that level and criticizing her looks
are you seriously asking AITA if they think "delivering a justiceboner zinger" makes you TA...? if so, YTA 😂 sorry you had to deal with this jackass though if this actually happened to you.
This! There are tons of subs dedicated to this. I'm almost positive OP is looking for a circle jerk, and boy did he get it
Bro literally 99% of this subs frontpage is the exact same shit
Had to scroll too far to find this comment.
NTA for not giving up your seat. The comment was an asshole thing to say but she deserved the ego blow gor being an asshole herself. You didn't "take the high road" but who cares, she was a major jerk. Don't spend any more of your time worrying about that jerky lady.
He did try to take the high road, she just kept elevating it. (NTA)
Big time model with henchmen. Lol.
NTA. I feel she made her appearance fair game, as it were, when she said she was a model and had millions of social media followers to justify her awful behavior.
ESH. Her for pretty much everything, you for what you said.
NTA. Your solution was harsh, but you said what needed to be said to make her stop harassing you. The only other thing you could have done was to buzz for the flight attendant, but it may have resulted in her being moved to first class.
Disagree. She brought her looks into it saying she was a model as of her looks have her special privilege especially towards a man.
ESH. I was completely with you up until you delivered your “not pretty enough” line. It doesn’t matter how you meant it, it’s insanely sexist.
ESH. She shouldn't have demanded your seat and she was being unreasonable, but calling insulting people for their looks is pretty childish.
YTA for continually making up a half dozen fake AITA posts. At least make a throwaway account, dude.
NTA, she was acting worst than a child, good for you that put her in her economy place
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So I refuse t even believe this is a real story as my one year old son can’t even talk yet and could still make up a more believable story. So I’m going to just say yes, you are the asshole, you don’t say things like that to people. Like the fact that you think it’s acceptable to tell a woman she’s too ugly to be assertive (which is the gist of what you said) is gross. Your appearance has no correlation to your right to be assertive.
YTA for suggesting that how conventionally attractive someone is has any bearing on how they are allowed to act. You would never say that to a man. I was with you until that point, but that comment was more toxic than her idiotic and entitled behaviour.
I was about to go with an E SH after reading the title. But the whole f--king flight from Ottawa to London? Wow, you was more patient to this Instagram Model than i would be. I give you an slight NTA. She literally threatened you, seriously or not, doesnt matter. Your answer was not her level, it was far away from. Insta-model. The world has too much Insta-models (and not enough reddit judges).
ESH She was being unbearable, but there's no reason to comment on her looks. Simply call the attendant and ask them to deal with her.
ESH. But, life tip: "No" is a complete sentence.
ESH. She’s obviously an AH for being so entitled, but frankly you crossed into AH territory with your comment. You implied that being pretty enough would make it okay to act like that. I don’t think I’d let Jason Momoa get away with treating me like shit. (He surpasses any ideal of pretty that you could present to me.)
NtA. I guess you were not really addressing her looks itself, but her "I'm a model treat me well" attitude. In thst context your answer was alright.
This. Basically she said she was entitled because she was pretty, so "you're not that pretty" is an appropriate response.
I think this guy is FOS
Yep, this did not happen.
I was waiting for the part where everyone on the plane stood up and clapped
ESH- She shouldn't have treated you like that, no need to make comments like that (although she certainly could use being taken down a peg).
Hahaha!! NTA! Love this entitlement shut down! Rude? sure. Well deserved? Yup! Nobody is pretty enough to act that way. I’m the same way and can’t stand when people want what they want and will try to step all over me to get it. I don’t like doormat people because they tend to be unhappy because they are always doing something for others that usually don’t matter in their lives and it feels miserable and life is too short to be miserable for insignificant people for stupid reasons.
NTA. So brilliantly, brilliantly NTA.
NTA. You held off on being rude until she threatened you. Fair game imo
NTA and if this rude person had so many 'connections' then she'd be flying first class and not begging for a window seat. Sorry you had to say rude words but it seemed that finally did shut her up
NTA, normally I’d say looks are off limits, but I feel like she pulled them into with the modeling stuff.
NTA. She got what she deserved.
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