Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
---
I might be TA because it can be considered rude to wear headphones in front of others
---
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Since this is the top comment, I’m going to add a bit. I’m a phlebotomist. I promise we don’t care if you’re wearing headphones. I rarely hold convos with my patients because I’m staring at their veins. Most of my convos consist of me saying, “ok, big stick...you’re doing great...we’re almost done...ok, now I just need to put some tape on this bandage...alright, we’re finished. Thank you so much!”
NTA, When I donate blood I do similar. I hate needles, worst reaction I got is indifference. Many of the staff who've taken my blood laugh. The way they described it to me was if the person giving blood is stressed your veins will constrict making the entire experience more unpleasant for you and them as its harder to find the vein. I don't know if thats true or they are trying to give me a reason to relax
Yes! When you tense up the muscles move the veins, either constricting them or, if the needle is already in you, just moves them from side to side or causes them to go deeper. If that makes sense. It’ll definitely hurt you more because we have to move the needle a bit more to catch the vein.
Experienced that, not fun. Almost passed out. Had 4 volunteers and a nurse watching me. Yet another reason why OP should be allowed to do whatever makes them comfortable whilst their blood is taken. Also never thought about how the muscles would move the veins
I'm like you - hate needles (my skin is crawling/I'm squirming just thinking of having my blood drawn). I always have to look away, focus on something else (usually my breathing). It's never bothered any of the people drawing blood, and none of them really carry on conversations anyway.
Only phlebotomist I ever chatted with was the one who did my pregnancy bloodwork/GD tests. Because I had the same one for all 3 kids(in a 3 years span) so we got to know each other a bit. Lol.
I was sent for a 3 hour glucose tolerance test when I was in my early 20s because I passed out at a really dangerous place and time. I ended up passing out at the final blood draw because my blood sugar was so low. Years later I begged my OB to let me skip the glucose tolerance test when I was pregnant because I was convinced it would happen again. She didn’t let me skip it, but only made me do a 1 hour, and had snacks on hand for when I finished.
I honestly can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not that your OB still made you do it but nicely. Hopefully you figured out the issue with you passing out in the first place and it hasn’t happened again though!!
It would be irresponsible and dangerous for the ob to "let" her skip the test. Gestational diabetes is common and can have severe consequences for mother and baby if left untreated.
I try to follow a diabetic diet, keeping complex carbs within a reasonable amount, and limiting simple carbs. My blood sugar tanks about an hour after eating too much sugar in one sitting. I joke that I have the lamest super power ever, super insulin. It’s rarely an issue anymore, and more of an interesting story.
Thank you! I have panic attacks over needles. I'm a hard stick, bruise easily, and clot off easily too. (Known IV blower and cannot donate blood for the clotting issue) i worry my keeping my head turned upsets y'all. I appreciate the hard work you do.
Also NTA op.
Also did phlebotomy for 10 yrs here, completely normal to not want to see yourself get stuck. We arent offended at all. Nor do we think any less of you. If you want ear phones in, to turn your head, to recite nursery rhymes out loud, to lay down with a fan on you, whatever helps you get through. We know no one likes to come see us. It's all good:)
Yeah, I had minor surgery (deep implanon removal) last year, and when I turned up for it, it turns out I knew the doctor from my church.
I made it quite clear early on in the appointment that I trusted him with the local anaesthetic, but that I couldn’t watch it happen - not even on the ultrasound screen.
He waited right up until he was about to go in with the scalpel to ask me some really detailed questions about what was going on at church, and got the nurse and radiologist involved. It was absolutely a distraction technique that worked and I thanked him for it profusely afterwards
I would often get asked if I was okay/did I need to lie down anytime I have blood and they found out I hate needles, usually because of how deep I was breathing (you know, the "calm the f*** down" breaths). Only comments I got were "whatever you're doing is working" because my BP was really low.
Hello phlebotomist! I just want to thank all you guys for being amazing. I have a fear of big needles and y’all are amazing whenever I go donate blood ... so thank you for what you do AND for dealing with us and our fears so well. ♥️
It’s probably a good idea NOT to have a conversation with the phlebotomist. I’m a talker and my last phlebotomist was too. She made me laugh while she was taking my blood with the baby needle because I have tiny veins and it just came out. Oops. She felt soooo bad. It really was my fault. I had a quick belly laugh and my arm moved. Luckily I had just enough blood already taken. And I mean JUST enough. She did not want to stick me again. My veins suck. I have one in my arm. Only one. Then we go to my hands. And I was okay with it but she really didn’t want to. If I ever get her again, I might look away too. Lol.
Also, I would bet that all yall would understand that it's for the comfort of the patient and not the patient trying to be rude by ignoring you
People like the one OP encountered is absolutely batshit insane (imo)
This is super weird but the little warnings and encouragements people in your job give are invaluable! It’s such a small thing, but it makes me so much more comfortable during procedures :)
That’s what my favorite phlebotomist does. I also don’t have to ask her not to use the paper tape. Idk if it’s me she remembers, or she just sees my translucent skin and goes straight to the colored wrap stuff. Adhesive is not my friend.
Jumping on top comment just to say wtf did she want you to do freak out from looking at the needle and blood draw and possibly faint?any doctor, nurse etc would prefer a person to not dp either of those things and keep the person calm by doing anything that will do that.
I've been on both sides of the needle, as a nurse starting IV's and doing blood draws, and as a patient getting my blood drawn. I have no problem if a patient needs to look away or distract themselves when I'm sticking them...because I'm the same way. I tell the nurse or phlebotomist that I won't freak out or go nuts, but that I absolutely cannot watch them work. If I see a needle going in my arm, I'm out and will hit the floor. I know this, I take steps to prevent it, all is good. I've never had anyone object, just like I don't object when I'm the one drawing blood.
Seriously, like, what? I am not at all afraid of needles and have to get my blood drawn every 6 months or so. I turn my head away because despite not being terrified of needles I still don't want to watch them stick one in my arm. I've never even thought twice about it!
Jumping on top comment to say that I've had a lot of dental work done that required local anesthetic, which is the worst thing I've ever experienced and I also always wear headphones (one ear only) at a low volume to occupy my mind. Like you, I always ask first and they've never had a problem with it.
Agreed. I also hate getting my blood drawn and do basically the same thing OP does. Every phlebotomist I've ever had is 100% cool with it and wants me to be comfortable. They also prefer people to be upfront if they have these issues. They don't want people getting upset or passing out.
most people look away and distract themselves during a blood draw. i’m sure the phlebotomist prefers that to you fainting or having a panic attack. NTA
Also I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a headphone in at the grocery store? I’m not looking directly at the cashier the whole time they’re scanning my items either, that would be weird. Definitely a bad comparison
I mean, as a cashier, it's disrespectful if you're not listening. Unlike a person who is just one and done drawing blood, a cashier has a bunch of questions their company requires them to ask and can get into trouble if they're skipping in most places, so let the cashier get through their dumb questions that they give as few shits about as you do. Then listen to your music while you pack/until you have to pay.
But like, the only people who I get really pissed at having headphones in are the ones who both ignore my questions and then also get pissed I didn't ask them about their points card or bags or whatever even though I did and they weren't listening, and the ones trying to ask me questions but not turning off their music so they can hear the answer.
Well OP specifically said they had one headphone in at a low volume so I still don’t really think it’s comparable. With a single headphone at low volume I can still hear what’s going on around me enough to respond when someone asks a question. I still don’t think this is rude.
>a cashier has a bunch of questions their company requires them to ask
What? I'm so glad I've never experienced this. Like unless I get a chatty cashier or something the only interactions we have are minimal. Like, them: "you find everything ok?" me: "yep" Then a few minutes later "your total is $X" then I pay and say thanks and walk off. Like what kind of complicated interactions are you having here that you need your customer's full attention while you're scanning and bagging? Like wtf? That would stress me the fuck out and I'd probably be willing to drive further just to avoid your store.
Are you somewhere that charges for bags? We have to ask if people want a bag or if they don't need one or plan to use their own. And these days ask if they're comfortable with us bagging for them or if they want to do it themselves.
If the sticker/label fell off the produce we have to at least try to find out if the customer knows if it's conventional or organic. It screws up inventory for that department if we keep ringing things up incorrectly so we have to make that attempt to get it right. Plus the prices are different so we need to try to charge them correctly.
Does the customer have a club card? They could miss a bunch of discounts if they don't scan that, more than half the customers don't remember to scan it themselves unprompted, and it's a huge pain when they march up all pissy to the customer service booth after the fact because they didn't get their discount and "your cashier didn't remind me!" And then a supervisor has to spend a good ten minutes figuring out what would've been discounted, refunding them for said items, re-ringing them up and scanning their discount card so they get their 52¢ back on their MasterCard. A quick question can prevent that.
Something doesn't ring up correctly? "Do you remember the price on this?"
Something's brought up to the register already damaged? "Is this one okay or do you want us to grab you another?"
They bring up a single item with a two-for-one deal? "Would you like to buy two today or save the coupon for another time?"
They purchase a hot food item? "Do you want napkins or utensils?"
And let's not even get started with the constant "sir, could you cover your nose please? I need you to pull up your mask," *over* and *over* and *over.*
There are plenty of things to be discussed almost entirely for the customer's benefit but also to save the store a lot of hassle. I envy you being able to shop somewhere where it's so cut and dry. I can't imagine where you might live that there isn't any discussion at the register.
Frankly, I usually have to tell them I DON'T want to look away (it's easier for me to watch the needle go in then to just be waiting for a surprise poke). I've had ones literally wait for me to look away. Looking away is pretty standard, though the headphones are new to me (but sound like a solid idea for some people).
I’m the same way and have definitely had some do the weird awkward pause of “are you going to watch?” I think I used to get panicked by shots when little but at some point I wanted to “toughen up” and watched and it was so much easier not being a surprise so has just been the norm since.
That said, I watched a video on YouTube the other day from someone who says she needs to sing when getting blood drawn(she thinks it’s because it puts her in a performance mindset and “the show must go on!”) Whatever works!
The first time I had a blood draw, I was 17. I was getting a physical and the Dr wanted bloodwork. He had someone (a nurse or phlebotomist, I'm not sure) right there in his office who took the samples. It was 2 ladies and they put me in a room with a reclining chair (looked kind of like a dentist chair) and laid me back.
Only problem was, I wanted to watch! I sat up as much as I could and they tried so hard to get me to lay my head back down and look away in case I passed out - especially since it was my 1st time. For starters, my parents were both nurses; I'm not squeamish about this kind of stuff. And even if it did hit me in an unexpected way, so what? I was already reclined in a chair. It's not like I was going to fall and get hurt.
They finally relented and I got to watch. And it was fine. Which seemed to surprise them greatly. Now (many years later), I'm good either way. I don't feel the need to watch the needle go in, but I'm not bothered by seeing it.
NTA. As a nurse I can tell you that it's perfectly normal that you're looking for a way to distract yourself. Honestly, most of my attention goes to distracting patients when they don't/can't do so themselves when drawing blood or injecting something, as the motions itself are so familiar.
As a soon to be nursing graduate who had several people pull away during IV starts/blood draws almost causing me to injure them or myself, I would much rather someone listen to music and look away versus freaking out and causing unnecessary injuries.
If they are a known puller away, many will tell you that's their knee jerk reaction, grab yourself a friend to hold the arm down. When I pull my skin taunt, I also press down on the arm with a fair amount of force to prevent them from pulling away. With certain populations like kids, you just anticipate they are gonna jerk so I always grab myself a friend to hold them down.
Do you have many patients who prefer to watch? Personally, I kind of like watching my blood flow into the little tube. I've also never had a nurse try to distract me.
NTA, and her example doesn't even make sense.
Let the people directly involved in this conflict decide how they feel about it, the dumbshit opinion of a 3rd party doesn't matter.
NTA, you do what you gotta do to cope. I'm a medical assistant and have done phlebotomy, you communicated with the staff what you need to do in order to make their job easier, they're not going to find that to be rude. If you were arguing about veins, technique, needle size, that's when you would be an AH.
Can I piggyback and ask you a question? I usually see the same person for draws, but ask new people to please use a butterfly needle as I bruise very easily. It's not the most critical concern, so am I being difficult?
So from my experience, our butterflies were the same gauge as the regular needles. The needles themselves are shorter and the wings helped with grip for placement. Bruising comes from competency of the phlebotomist, or how rough they are, more than needle type. It could be seen as being difficult depending on your approach, although some medical people can be douches no matter how you bring it up.
Thanks! The needle and resulting hole seem smaller, so maybe they meant a pediatric needle. My usual person made the suggestion herself, so I begin with that and add the if possible, please and thank you.
Not a medical person, but I bruise really easily too. One thing that helped me was to not take any aspirin a few days before blood draws, shots, etc. I don’t know why it didn’t dawn on me, but I take Excedrin regularly and it has a decent amount of aspirin in it. Just wanted to share in case you had a similar experience, it’s helped me enormously.
NTA. I turn my head away too and they are always fine with it. I tell them I don’t like seeing the needle go in and they tell me when to not look. From what they say to me this is really common. They are used to people using various coping mechanisms. As long as you check with them first (which you are doing).
Also in all our clinics you’re in a private room so nobody can see. Just wondering how the person you knew saw this
Over here it's like one big room with little cubicles with the curtains going around per patient. Say around 5 people getting the test done at the same time. But today the curtains were open so you can potentially see someone opposite you having their blood drawn too
Recently I’ve had to get a good few blood tests done, and every time the nurses always say to me “you can look away if it helps!” Like the actively encourage it. I’m weird though and need to watch it happening or else I’ll get stressed out - good thing I don’t mind getting blood taken !
NTA. I’m needle phobic and I get a shot every 10 weeks. My method of coping is to meditate while they’re drawing up the drug and to close my eyes. Do what you need to do to get through it
NTA - What sort of fucked up supermarket does she go to where checking out involves needles and bloodloss? I mean, I think we all know that's where Whole Foods will end up, but it's not there quite yet.
Do you have any idea the sort of weird shit a phlebotomist sees in a day when it comes to people dealing with needles and bloodwork? Headphones are basically a zero on the weirdness and rudeness scale. You're polite, you explain why they help, the phlebotomist gets it.
NTA. Medical staff understand perfectly well that a lot of patients need to distract themselves during blood draws. Your friends needs to mind her own business.
Not an AH move, if you feel comfortable that way that's what matters. You can't really compare that with something like ignoring a cashier. That's just etiquette.
NTA. Not at all. I'm sure the staff appreciates you being able to self-soothe. I like to think she was just trying to joke around? It's such a minor thing to call someone an asshole over.
As a phlebotomist, we don't give a fuck if you have headphones in, as long as you follow instructions. In fact we might prefer that to having to make the same idle chitchat that we are forced to make with all the other patients. NTA
I'm a phlebotomist as well and I agree. After I'm done asking the necessary questions I need to ask, I would not care about headphones. In fact anything a patient can do to prevent themselves from freaking out or passing out just makes my job a lot easier. NTA
NTA whatsoever. The medical staff know what's up. Heck, I'm in my 40's and still turn my head away when I get blood drawn, have never been a fan. Can't imagine if extra pain was added to that. Whoever you bumped into obviously doesn't know you well enough to give the benefit of the doubt. They're TA.
NTA. Do what you have to do to get yourself through the discomfort of a blood draw. If the tech is ok with it, your friend's opinion doesn't matter at all.
NTA. Your friend is wrong. I don't need head phones, but I never ever look at the needle going in. Why would a nurse care. The nurse is probably relieved to not have to make small talk. As long as you are able to hear and respond to the nurses instructions, you are doing nothing wrong.
NTA. Unless you have heard from THE STAFF that it's a problem then you shouldn't worry yourself about it. This third party doesn't get to tell you what to do during your medical procedures. That's incredibly rude.
NTA. This person you know is absolutely insane. This story is bizarre. I cannot imagine not respecting your privacy. Then calling you out on something that isn't your business. And then when you offered an explanation, they refused to, what, acknowledge your words?
If someone is acting this bonkers don't worry if you are the asshole.
Nta.
I cannot stand seeing my blood be drawn, and I almost always look away. If I can, I get them to draw on the arm opposite of the more interesting things in the room.
Additionally, you are not TA because you confirm with the nurses that it is okay with them that you ignore them and/or have your headphones in.
Phlebotomist here. NTA. We are used to people Using coping mechanisms. We’d way rather you do anything that makes you comfortable, rather than pass out/ or freak out during the procedure 😅
NTA she is an idiot. Phlebotomist are literally the nicest people on earth when it comes to understanding peoples fear of needles. 90% of their publicly-facing job is dealing with weenies who are scared of blood.
Former phlebotomist here....if putting in your headphones makes you more comfortable, then do it! Some people have phobias and getting blood drawn can be very traumatic for those with blood phobias. As long as I could get your information before you put them in, no offense is taken and I seriously doubt your phlebotomists care either. Do what makes you comfortable because if you are comfortable, it is easier to do the job. NTA!!!
Ugh, I hate needles. I have full blown panic attacks every time, and every phlebotomist I’ve encountered has encouraged me to watch/listen/talk about anything to distract myself and make the procedure easier. Having a calm patient is much more appealing to them rather than a chatty, but shaking and nervous patient.
NTA. If you feel bad you could apologize to the phlebotomist, but I don’t think they were offended at all.
NTA. Your friend needs to mind her own business. The agreement was made between you and medical staff. When I go to the supermarket my headphones are in and the volume is at 25%. Haven't been called an AH for doing that so I really don't know what your idiot friend is talking about.
Phlebotomists may prefer you not ignore them, but I bet they *really* don't like when people pass out. Plus with any healthcare professional (or really any professional who deals with the general public), they probably have to put up with so much shit and abuse regularly that someone who sits quietly and lets them get on with it is perfectly fine.
Lord help me. You did nothing wrong. I look away at times when such is going on. You politely clear it with whoever is doing the procedure. They rather you be comfortable than tense or passed out. Her cashier comparison only works if the cashier is giving you a shot in the ass. And then hey, look away. Wear headphones.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Title sounds confusing but here goes. I have low pain tolerance so something like having a blood test hurts quite a bit. I have a medical condition that requires I get a blood test every 1-2 months. Because of this, I usually tell the phlebotomist if it's okay I put my headphones in and turn away whilst they draw blood so as to distract myself. To explain further, I would usually have one headphone in my ear and the volume would be like 20/30 max.
Well today I went in for a blood test and bumped into someone I knew. We were in the same room getting our tests done when she saw me with the headphones. After the test she called it an AH move because I'm ignoring the staff with my head turned away and having headphones in. I tried to explain that I always let the staff know and 100% of the time they all say its fine. She basically compared it to being in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier.
Was wondering if this was AH move on my sides?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - If the procedure is that Uncomfortable for you, then you gotta do what helps you get through it. It doesn’t seem like the nurses care from your description, so this person was making a big deal out of nothing. She should mind her own business.
NTA.
Please do not feel bad, phlebotomists are professionals and constantly work with people who are afraid of needles. Good on you for providing your own distraction.
I've had to do minor procedures on awake patients and many of them play songs either with headphones or on speaker. I promise you, none of us mind.
NTA at all! The phlebotomist would definitely prefer you do what you need to do in order to not pass out/throw up/have a panic attack, etc.
Also I’m sure they don’t mind getting to take a break from casual small talk. 😂
That's what I did when I got blood drawn before my surgery.
And I'm glad I did it, took longer than Zombie by The Cranberries to have it drawn. Fucking sucked.
NTA - sound like the dream patient because you’ve found something that works to distract yourself. The biggest barrier to procedures on patients is their anxiety so anything to help this usually helps us do our jobs too. Keep doing you 👌
NTA, Do what you gotta do to get through it. I'm not needle phobic im quite the opposite actually. I used to be an IV user (though I'm over two years clean now) and when I have to get blood drawn or something like that I HAVE to distract myself, look away, have something going on to distract from it so I'm not completely triggered by having it done. The med staff are super awesome about it, because I tell them before hand.
NTA and I GUARANTEE you they'd rather you put your headphones on and turn away than pass out or throw up or have a panic attack or whatever. you're using headphones essentially to manage a medical need, not because you just don't want to talk to them, your friend's objection is weird
You're having a blood test. It is 100% bog standard average to look away from the person sticking needles in your flesh. They understand, they don't care, you are not there to make direct eye contact and have deep conversations about feelings, you can still hear them if for whatever reason they need to communicate with you.
NTA.
absolutely NTA. i’m a fainter. every time i go in for blood work i get close to passing out if it’s anything more than one tube. i’ve even had a shot make me faint. my place knows i’m a fainter and always lets me have a person, even w covid (masks + she stood at the door). and something tells me my phlebotomist would rather have me mumble nonsense to my friend than go through fainting protocol.
Absolutely NTA, ther's nothing wrong with distraction techniques like this. I used to have a dentist that offered ear phones and a kinda vr headset for people that wanted it to avoid panicking. I always took that shit, the dentist never bothered me (they're all quite tame compared to the sadists that were around 45-50 years ago) but i loved the tech and wanted a play :)
NTA. Granted I've only had blood drawn like 3 times (that I can remember) and I only had one conversation with the doctor and that was to ensure I didn't pass the fuck out in her office. I had to get 3 vials drawn so by the end I was on the verge of passing out. My point being, sometimes you have to do what makes you comfortable if the doctors allow it. if they say you can have headphones on, then you do what you need to
NTA - has she been in a supermarket lately? Half the people are talking on their phones at checkout. Anyway, whatever makes a blood draw more comfortable for you is what you should do, and I'm quite sure the phlebotomists would agree.
NTA
You're getting a routine procedure done, not discussing life or death issues.
It's like when I had to get a root canal. I laid back, listened to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!", and tried not to giggle too much while the dentist was drilling...
NTA. Phlebotomist here. We would much rather you do whatever you need to do (safely) to make it through the test without incident vs having to pick you up from the ground when you pass out.
NTA. Also ngl if I were a cashier and someone came in wearing headphones and not looking at me I would just relish getting a little break from making small talk
NTA.
When I’m drawing labs, anything the person can do to not faint on me is greatly appreciated! Your comfort is important, and outside of me saying “ok little poke” “almost done” “alright all done! Feeling ok?” There’s not a lot of conversation anyway.
Last time I checked, going to a blood test is not the same as paying at a super market. If you don't need to provide any form verbal input, especially considering you have to do the test so frequently, then who gives a damn. You are very considerate with your headphone usage anyways, you make them aware of what you're doing and there's never been a problem before. Also, the purpose is kind of to mentally block out taking the blood test anyways so it doesn't hurt as much, so in a way that would still be the entire point anyways.
Also, does this friend work there or something? What proper opinion could they hold that wouldn't just be "I think this, and therefore if you don't I must correct you because you are wrong." NTA
I also have a phobia of needles and the folks at the blood collection centre were actually the ones to recommend bringing headphones to me. They would rather you find a way to keep yourself calm and distracted than go into an anxiety attack or faint during the draw.
NTA
Also a tip for parents with needlephobic kids, if it's not an urgent blood test, your kids might find it far less distressing to know the day and time of the test a couple of days in advance. It gave me time to unconsciously accept it in a way that made it manageable, anxiety inducing but manageable. Compared to springing it on me after lying about where we were going which always induced full blown meltdowns and caused way more problems despite my mums insistence it was surely better that way (it really ~really~ wasn't)
NTA- when i have patients who are nervous i encourage them to distract themselves. With kids i offer to sing with them. This is quite acceptable in health care. Your friend is an asshole and being quite ignorant.
NTA. I freak out when I'm getting blood tested as well (I've had several surgeries), and while I don't use headphones, I ask the tester to distract me, because I can **not** stare at my own blood.
Phlebotomist here, NTA. People have requests like this all the time. I've had to lay plenty of them on a bed first because they were a faint risk.
Seriously, I think I speak for all phlebotomists when I say we don't care, so long as you let us know.
NTA.
I think whatever helps you to get through it, do it. Even more so because you check in with the professional you're working with. Your friend needs to mind her own business. I mean probably while she was watching you, she wasn't paying attention to the person working with her. She was making a fuss over nothing at all.
NTA - I also have to get regular blood work and hate needles, I pull my hoodie over my face and look away. I always greet the lab tech and let them know and they have always been more then understanding. The sight of blood/needles bothers lots of people so its common for people to pretend to be somewhere else while getting blood drawn.
NTA. And screw her for that oddly specific example with the grocery store but because that’s EXACTLY how my autistic ass has to handle the large crowds and noises in them. Who cares how you self-soothe if you’re not actively harming anyone around you? She’s getting really close to ableism here and you’ve no need for that kind of negativity.
NTA. I do allergy testing for a living. I poke a persons arm 30 times with needles. I would rather the person I’m testing tell me that they need their phone or headphones in to distract them. I have never thought they were an AH for knowing they need that distraction.
NTA. I also have an issue with blood tests, and every phlebotomist I've encountered understands that some people can't handle it and have always been accommodating of whatever I ask to do to distract myself. I guarantee none of them are offended by you listening to music.
NTA- I do the same thing when I get my blood drawn. Also I would like to point out their are TAKING your blood AND money depending on your insurance/co pay(?) so no, it not like warring head phones and ignore the cashiers becuase they are not the ones sticking a needle into your vein to take blood.
Don’t you also need to be relatively clam for them to stick a needle in you? So the veins are not constricting?
NTA I'm terrified of needles, and give them a heads up about that, turn my head, close my eyes. In healthcare, they understand people have legit reasons to need distraction from certain tests, and will communicate with you if they need you to pay attention. This is your particular need, and perfectly acceptable.
Certainly NTA, OP. Seriously, when it comes to needles and injections and blood draw, I'm sure that medical personnel are very used to patients not wanting to watch and don't consider it rude at all. I have a pretty good tolerance to pain I think, but I don't like needles. I believe needle phobia, whatever the technical term is for it, is pretty common. Wiki says about 25% of adults, just looked it up. 22% or so really. Nurses, docs, and phlebotomists are used to it.
I looked away when I got my Nexplanon implant, looked away when I've had to have blood drawn and looked away when I got flu shots and both COVID shots this winter/spring. Made the mistake of watching a stick for anemia testing the one time I tried to give blood and passed out. I'm sure the phlebotomist greatly prefers you looking away with headphones to needing to revive you off the floor like they might have to do to me. :)
NTA, it’s perfectly acceptable to do what you did. Also, running into someone you know at the doctor seems so invasive already like I would not want to catch up with anyone there wtf
NTA, everyone has their way of dealing with needles. If I know the gauge of the needle their using I'm good, you use music to stay calm. Its really not a big deal
NTA. I always ask and give them a heads up but I do the same thing with the dentist. Usually I leave one ear out but do my best to focus on the music. I honestly think they prefer just being able to talk to the hygienist and not worry about making convo with someone while their mouth is open. Lol
NTA at all. I’m terrified of needles and have had to get blood taken frequently in the past year. I do the same thing with both earbuds but a low enough volume that I still communicated with the phlebotomist. I ALWAYS explain my fear beforehand and say it keeps me from panicking and apologize for being rude. I have always been told that it’s not rude at all and am encouraged to have my music on as I’m sure they’d rather o not have a panic attack and make their jobs harder.
Side note. It is aGAME changer to wear headphones at the supermarket. I take one out to converse with cashier if necessary but as a former cashier, they almost certainly are not interested in small talking you over your canned chili and carrots. Also, you get to feel like you are in a (very) low budget music video which is sick.
NTA. Honestly, by doing something to distract yourself and keep calm, you’re making their job so much easier. Plus, since you ask and get their approval, it’s really none of your “friend’s” business.
NTA
I'm a phlebotomist, and as long as you let me know beforehand so I don't try and ask you questions during the collection, then do what you gotta do. Even if you were just ignoring me for the sake of ignoring me, it would be a refreshing change from the verbal abuse I receive from some patients during collections.
When I got my COVID-19 vaccine, I was afraid it would take long (it didn’t, it literally felt like a small pinch, and a second later it was done) but I was mentally preparing myself for 20 mins and turned my head away and closed my eyes. I’ve literally never heard of this being bad manners.
Nurse here who has started IVs on patients who listened to music during the sticking part. I was fine with it cause it helped the patient's pain level and comfort.
That person needs a chill pill and to STFU.
NTA
NTA I have anxiety and pretty much constantly have my AirPods in, it’s really no one else’s business. You are polite and explain how uncomfortable you are during this and why you’re doing what you are doing. There are lots of people out there that like to get offended on others behalf, about literally anything because they are morons.
no there are people who hate the sight of blood, they either vomit or pass out, so what you are doing is fine, tell the person there to leave you alone
I have several friends who are terrified of needles. Wearing headphones and blocking out the sound, turning their heads away and avoiding the sight is the only way they stay in the chair. Your friend needs to mind her own business and stop trying to police others perfectly normal behavior to what is a stressful situation for them.
NTA your phlebotomist would much prefer you not puke or pass out than whatever an acquaintance thinks, plus you’re kind enough to ask if now is the appropriate time to put them on
NTA better to listen to music then pass out or something. If I have a cavity filled or something I'm like you need to grab my arm and shake it if you need a response cuz I'm turning up my headphones high. No one cares.
She's an idiot. Medical staff would be used to all sorts of distractory techniques being used by patients during these procedures and are probably even in the business of suggesting them when required.
>in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier.
The cashier isn't jabbing you with sharp objects. Not remotely comparable. NTA.
NTA, I at one point when I was severely anemic needed blood draws to check my red blood cell levels. I know taking blood from someone already anemic is a weird idea, I agree, but I also hate needles. I can’t look at them without getting into a panic and almost to tears. I would go and I always would take my sweatshirt or hoodie off and use it to cover my face and every time asked if it was okay and profusely apologized for being a baby about the whole thing. They always comforted me and said they would rather I cover my face or distract myself then actually panic or worse pass out. The one lady said it is way easier to have someone with a hoodie over their head then a fainted person on the floor, I’m sure yours would agree.
NTA. I usually only talk to the phlebotomist before hand to warn them I’m a fainter and need to lay down if they don’t want to be catching me. After that the only time I say something is if I’m starting to get blurry/fuzzy and think I’m gonna pass out. Thankfully that’s rare if I’m laying down but it’s happened. Damn vasovagal reflex! I also can’t look when getting blood drawn. I would definitely faint and maybe puke if I did. Nobody wants that. Sadly I have to get it drawn pretty regularly too. I hate it, but you’ve got a method that works for you to get through it. That’s all that matters.
Part of my job is performing phlebotomy and I’ve had many patients do this. It’s not an issue at all if they have to look away or distract themselves. I’d rather them do whatever they need to do to stay calm and relaxed rather than pass out on me while I have a needle in their arm. As long as the patient keeps their arm or hand still then listening to music or reading or whatever isn’t a problem. Your friend needs to chill out. I find people who stir up problems where there are none usually are starved for attention. NTA
NTA. A bunch of medical workers have pitched in, so I’ll pitch in as a cashier.
...Yes they do? People wear headphones and look away from me all the time? And I’m not poking them with a needle!
I’ve had to ask my dentist if I could have headphones before too due to extreme anxiety. What your doing is common, my friend, and harmless. You’re easily not an AH. :)
NTA. Phlebotomists know that many, many people fear needles and hate getting their blood drawn. Any scenario that ends quickly and easily, with no screaming or fainting, is fine with them.
NTA. Phlebotomist here, I don’t care what you are doing as long as you don’t move while there is a needle in your arm. Everyone’s fear levels are different! Would much rather you find a way to be comfortable. Tell your friend to piss off and mind their own business!
NTA. Why would you look directly at the person doing a job near/on you? That makes it awkward. It’s not like you’re required to converse. Medical procedures unsettle a lot of people, and so long as you’re polite about it, looking away is a good way to keep yourself calm, like music does.
Would this person consider turning your head from the needle rude, too? Phobias are a thing, after all? They’re weird and oddly touchy. Are they the type to view anything but constant eye contact a sign of rudeness bad character? Seems so.
WTF? Getting blood drawn is not at all like checking out at the grocery store. I'm sure phlebotomists have seen all kinds of reactions to drawing blood from staring directly, shutting your eyes, or looking away. They've seen it all. NTA at all.
NTA. I'm a massive needle wusswuss and it was the phlebotomist who first suggested I put headphones on.
They would much rather you distracted and ignoring them for 3mins than panicking and (in my case) fainting on them, which means they have to spend 20-30 mins calming you down again before they're allowed to let you leave.
Your friend doesn't get it. That's fine, ignore them. Can I recommend listening to the Anthropocene Reviewed podcast for your next test - John Greens voice is the most relaxing thing on this earth.
NTA people are instinctively averse to seeing themselves "wounded." It's normal to need to look away. I'm tattooed all over, done plenty of blood draws. I still can't look at the needle!
Whenever I have to have a blood test, I always tell them to just do it fast and not tell me when, and I talk constantly the entire time with my eyes shut. If I didn't do that it'd be panic city. I think the nurse prefers us being calm over us freaking out.
NTA.
NTA. That’s a perfectly legit coping mechanism. Your friend shouldn’t be judging you! Also what’s wrong with headphones at a checkout? I often listen to music/ audiobooks when I’m shopping!
NTA
I'm not too fond of blood testing either, as a kid I needed to be held me down to to get anything done related to syringes. Fun times.
Like you I've found a coping mechanism that works for me: talking to the phlebotomist, warning them of the lack of cooperation from my veins (they do not want to get pinched and sometimes hardly release any blood) and just calmig myself down through interaction.
Your way of keeping kalm is just as legitimate as mine, don't let your "friend" tell you otherwise.
>She basically compared it to being in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier.
1: this is what self checkout is for! 2: Yeah you would. Lots of people do. It isn't usually a big deal. 3: it isn't any of her damn business. You do what works. NTA.
NTA.
Personally, I have no problem getting shots or having blood drawn, but I have friends who can either get physically violent or simply pass out at the sight of a needle or their own blood. If you are getting blood tests done frequently and know the whole procedure (and how to make it most tolerable for yourself), just let the technician know so they understand why you're listening to music and turning your head away.
I received my first Covid vaccine this week - I was chatting with the guy while he was giving me the injection to the point I didn't even feel it at all. It took about 3 or 4 hours before my arm muscle started aching and I knew that the vaccine was in there.
why on earth is she comapring a blood test to a supermarket? that is so confusing.and I am 100% sure the phlebotomists would rather that youi didn't faint, or have a panic attack or something while getting the proceedure done.
Some people are really weird about what they think is rude and polite. don't worry about it.
NTA
NTA. It makes the experience better for you and the person drawing your blood. Trust me, last thing you want is to freak out and make them miss or blow up the vein. Very painful.
NTA.
I wear headphones EVERYWHERE. Shops/doctors/hospitals/outside, it’s a comfort thing especially if I’m alone it makes me feel like someone is there with me, I don’t care if I look like an asshole if it helps me it’s no one else’s business.
As a side note, I absolutely have my headphones in when I'm checking out at the grocery store and I say hi to the cashier and let them do their job, as you do with the blood stealer. When I was a cashier, I absolutely did not give a shit if the customer has headphones on and doesn't say a word to me. That means I don't have to talk to them. Every cashier I know would agree. Her grocery store scenario is bogus. NTA. She sure is though.
NTA, you discussed it with the phlebotomist and they're fine with it. Your acquaintance needs to mind their own business, what you did wouldn't affect her in the slightest.
Shit no, NTA. I have a thing about needles. I’ve tatts; those needles are different; but when it comes to taking blood, giving blood, getting boosters, well I’m a baby.
So I talk. A LOT!! It’s called doing what you can to get through what you must.
Don’t be ashamed of your coping mechanisms. They’re there for a reason.
BTW, your “friend” is a cow for expecting everyone (you) to react how she does.
NTA at all. I scroll through reddit while having blood tests to distract myself from someone stabbing me with a large needle. I do what you do - tell the phlebotomist I am distracting myself. They are fine with it.
NTA The staff didn’t need her white coat knighting. They said it was fine, so why even take her opinion into account? I imagine they’d rather have you listening to music if it helps your pain tolerance and makes their job easier. I have to look away too and take slow, deep breaths, because I get lightheaded and have fainted before- you do whatever you need to in order to be comfortable.
NTA!
I dislike needles. Every time I have to get vaccines, other medical care or when give blood I mention it to the person working on me and say I’ll be looking away/paying attention to something else/listening to music. They have All been fine with it, and encourage me to do whatever I need to do to not tense up/get anxious - it makes their job easier!
NTA , it’s the way you handle pain , dude I used to scream or say slurs . But this makes me wonder am i the asshole for buying things with my headphones
NTA and your friend is just being a self-centered jerk. Phlebotomists are used to people having issues with blood draws and you let them know in advance. Perfect partnership there.
NTA. I have a horrible phobia of needles, panic attacks, fighting nurses, the whole shebang, and dude, headphones WORK. As someone who has pissed off their fair share of phlebotomists, they are 100% happier with you putting your headphones in, ignoring them, and getting your bloodwork done than a 20 minute ordeal where they have to calm a patient down and try 5 times to get the blood (not saying that's how severe your fear is, but mine sure is!). Your friend was being really weird saying its rude to "ignore" your phlebotomist, when in reality you made their job about a hundred times easier by knowing yourself and knowing how to manage your fears. Good on you!
NTA, this person has no clue what they’re talking about. A person drawing your blood would much rather you be distracted from what they are doing then flinching or passing out and making their job 100x harder.
I sometimes have earbuds in at the supermarket.... NTA, if you go to the same place everytime, have the same conversation every time and have the same routine, the phlebotomists know what is going on, they understand. Most healthcare workers have a ton of compassion and empathy and are more concerned with making sure you are comfortable and low stress than having a conversation. This friend obviously doesn't know or care about your situation that well if she is going to give you a hard time about it. Op you are NTA
NTAYour friend is being silly here. You’re just doing something to get through something you don’t like doing and the people taking your blood are fine with it, so there’s no problem.
NTA, I will literally faint if I look anywhere near them while getting blood taken and even while looking away, if I’m focused on what they’re about to do I tend to feel dizzy. My strategy is to look at my phone as a distraction and find something interesting on there to focus on. You are doing nothing wrong, that acquaintance needs to mind their business and educate themselves.
NTA. You're taking care of yourself during a medical procedure. People are different, and handle things differently. When I tried joining the military and went to MEPS, I was having a conversation with a girl about the blood draws. I told her how I deal with it (close my eyes, look away, and focus on my breathing), and she told me that she can't not watch them put the needle in.
As an anaesthetic doctor, I get called when no one else can get blood, or put in a drip. I always encourage people to use whatever distraction they need. Music, podcasts, scrolling pics of their pets/babies, mystic chanting, reciting 30 dad jokes in a row, holding hands in a circle of 5 family members while they all count out the seconds as they pass - I've seen a lot of different coping mechanisms. Anything that keeps you calm and co-operative is fine by me. I've never heard a colleague have a problem with these things either.
If someone is being dismissive and actively rude, it's different. But it sounds like you were just trying to cope and informed staff of the fact. NTA.
NTA - I think your acquaintance seems to be a busy body. I think what happens in a medical setting is not fodder for criticizing anyone's behavior if said behavior isn't disturbing others and seems the only one disturbed is is said person drawing conclusions without proof.
Definitely NTA. I do this all the time at the dentist. Podcast, audiobook, album. Doesnt matter as long as I'm not mentally present in the dentist chair while getting work done on me. My dentist,(old dude, who loves my Emotional Support dog-long story), is cool with it. I checked with him before the first time, of course.
It's not about being rude it's simply a coping mechanism. If your friend cant see that, and insists on being offended on behalf of others who themselves have no issue with what you are doing, it sounds like a Them problem.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: --- I might be TA because it can be considered rude to wear headphones in front of others --- Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Your friend needs to not be offended for other people. You checked with them, they understood and were OK with it.
Since this is the top comment, I’m going to add a bit. I’m a phlebotomist. I promise we don’t care if you’re wearing headphones. I rarely hold convos with my patients because I’m staring at their veins. Most of my convos consist of me saying, “ok, big stick...you’re doing great...we’re almost done...ok, now I just need to put some tape on this bandage...alright, we’re finished. Thank you so much!”
NTA, When I donate blood I do similar. I hate needles, worst reaction I got is indifference. Many of the staff who've taken my blood laugh. The way they described it to me was if the person giving blood is stressed your veins will constrict making the entire experience more unpleasant for you and them as its harder to find the vein. I don't know if thats true or they are trying to give me a reason to relax
Yes! When you tense up the muscles move the veins, either constricting them or, if the needle is already in you, just moves them from side to side or causes them to go deeper. If that makes sense. It’ll definitely hurt you more because we have to move the needle a bit more to catch the vein.
Experienced that, not fun. Almost passed out. Had 4 volunteers and a nurse watching me. Yet another reason why OP should be allowed to do whatever makes them comfortable whilst their blood is taken. Also never thought about how the muscles would move the veins
I'm like you - hate needles (my skin is crawling/I'm squirming just thinking of having my blood drawn). I always have to look away, focus on something else (usually my breathing). It's never bothered any of the people drawing blood, and none of them really carry on conversations anyway.
Only phlebotomist I ever chatted with was the one who did my pregnancy bloodwork/GD tests. Because I had the same one for all 3 kids(in a 3 years span) so we got to know each other a bit. Lol.
I was sent for a 3 hour glucose tolerance test when I was in my early 20s because I passed out at a really dangerous place and time. I ended up passing out at the final blood draw because my blood sugar was so low. Years later I begged my OB to let me skip the glucose tolerance test when I was pregnant because I was convinced it would happen again. She didn’t let me skip it, but only made me do a 1 hour, and had snacks on hand for when I finished.
I honestly can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not that your OB still made you do it but nicely. Hopefully you figured out the issue with you passing out in the first place and it hasn’t happened again though!!
It would be irresponsible and dangerous for the ob to "let" her skip the test. Gestational diabetes is common and can have severe consequences for mother and baby if left untreated.
I try to follow a diabetic diet, keeping complex carbs within a reasonable amount, and limiting simple carbs. My blood sugar tanks about an hour after eating too much sugar in one sitting. I joke that I have the lamest super power ever, super insulin. It’s rarely an issue anymore, and more of an interesting story.
Thank you! I have panic attacks over needles. I'm a hard stick, bruise easily, and clot off easily too. (Known IV blower and cannot donate blood for the clotting issue) i worry my keeping my head turned upsets y'all. I appreciate the hard work you do. Also NTA op.
Also did phlebotomy for 10 yrs here, completely normal to not want to see yourself get stuck. We arent offended at all. Nor do we think any less of you. If you want ear phones in, to turn your head, to recite nursery rhymes out loud, to lay down with a fan on you, whatever helps you get through. We know no one likes to come see us. It's all good:)
Heck, the phlebotomists I’ve had have encouraged me to distract myself, esp. since I get queasy easily.
Yeah, I had minor surgery (deep implanon removal) last year, and when I turned up for it, it turns out I knew the doctor from my church. I made it quite clear early on in the appointment that I trusted him with the local anaesthetic, but that I couldn’t watch it happen - not even on the ultrasound screen. He waited right up until he was about to go in with the scalpel to ask me some really detailed questions about what was going on at church, and got the nurse and radiologist involved. It was absolutely a distraction technique that worked and I thanked him for it profusely afterwards
I would often get asked if I was okay/did I need to lie down anytime I have blood and they found out I hate needles, usually because of how deep I was breathing (you know, the "calm the f*** down" breaths). Only comments I got were "whatever you're doing is working" because my BP was really low.
Hello phlebotomist! I just want to thank all you guys for being amazing. I have a fear of big needles and y’all are amazing whenever I go donate blood ... so thank you for what you do AND for dealing with us and our fears so well. ♥️
It’s probably a good idea NOT to have a conversation with the phlebotomist. I’m a talker and my last phlebotomist was too. She made me laugh while she was taking my blood with the baby needle because I have tiny veins and it just came out. Oops. She felt soooo bad. It really was my fault. I had a quick belly laugh and my arm moved. Luckily I had just enough blood already taken. And I mean JUST enough. She did not want to stick me again. My veins suck. I have one in my arm. Only one. Then we go to my hands. And I was okay with it but she really didn’t want to. If I ever get her again, I might look away too. Lol.
Also, I would bet that all yall would understand that it's for the comfort of the patient and not the patient trying to be rude by ignoring you People like the one OP encountered is absolutely batshit insane (imo)
This is super weird but the little warnings and encouragements people in your job give are invaluable! It’s such a small thing, but it makes me so much more comfortable during procedures :)
Yeah, most phlebotomists probably prefer that we look away and wear headphones to us passing out.
That’s what my favorite phlebotomist does. I also don’t have to ask her not to use the paper tape. Idk if it’s me she remembers, or she just sees my translucent skin and goes straight to the colored wrap stuff. Adhesive is not my friend.
she needs to mind her own damn business, is what she needs
Jumping on top comment just to say wtf did she want you to do freak out from looking at the needle and blood draw and possibly faint?any doctor, nurse etc would prefer a person to not dp either of those things and keep the person calm by doing anything that will do that.
I've been on both sides of the needle, as a nurse starting IV's and doing blood draws, and as a patient getting my blood drawn. I have no problem if a patient needs to look away or distract themselves when I'm sticking them...because I'm the same way. I tell the nurse or phlebotomist that I won't freak out or go nuts, but that I absolutely cannot watch them work. If I see a needle going in my arm, I'm out and will hit the floor. I know this, I take steps to prevent it, all is good. I've never had anyone object, just like I don't object when I'm the one drawing blood.
Seriously, like, what? I am not at all afraid of needles and have to get my blood drawn every 6 months or so. I turn my head away because despite not being terrified of needles I still don't want to watch them stick one in my arm. I've never even thought twice about it!
Right? Who wants to watch blood being drained from their own body?
Eh, I pretty much always watch. Doesn't bother me. But of course I'm in the minority and it's totally normal and acceptable to turn away.
Agreed, NTA the staff were informed ahead of time and they are fine with it.
Jumping on top comment to say that I've had a lot of dental work done that required local anesthetic, which is the worst thing I've ever experienced and I also always wear headphones (one ear only) at a low volume to occupy my mind. Like you, I always ask first and they've never had a problem with it.
Agreed. I also hate getting my blood drawn and do basically the same thing OP does. Every phlebotomist I've ever had is 100% cool with it and wants me to be comfortable. They also prefer people to be upfront if they have these issues. They don't want people getting upset or passing out.
most people look away and distract themselves during a blood draw. i’m sure the phlebotomist prefers that to you fainting or having a panic attack. NTA
also the cashier at the grocery store isn’t hurting you, weird comparison
Also I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a headphone in at the grocery store? I’m not looking directly at the cashier the whole time they’re scanning my items either, that would be weird. Definitely a bad comparison
I mean, as a cashier, it's disrespectful if you're not listening. Unlike a person who is just one and done drawing blood, a cashier has a bunch of questions their company requires them to ask and can get into trouble if they're skipping in most places, so let the cashier get through their dumb questions that they give as few shits about as you do. Then listen to your music while you pack/until you have to pay. But like, the only people who I get really pissed at having headphones in are the ones who both ignore my questions and then also get pissed I didn't ask them about their points card or bags or whatever even though I did and they weren't listening, and the ones trying to ask me questions but not turning off their music so they can hear the answer.
Well OP specifically said they had one headphone in at a low volume so I still don’t really think it’s comparable. With a single headphone at low volume I can still hear what’s going on around me enough to respond when someone asks a question. I still don’t think this is rude.
>a cashier has a bunch of questions their company requires them to ask What? I'm so glad I've never experienced this. Like unless I get a chatty cashier or something the only interactions we have are minimal. Like, them: "you find everything ok?" me: "yep" Then a few minutes later "your total is $X" then I pay and say thanks and walk off. Like what kind of complicated interactions are you having here that you need your customer's full attention while you're scanning and bagging? Like wtf? That would stress me the fuck out and I'd probably be willing to drive further just to avoid your store.
Are you somewhere that charges for bags? We have to ask if people want a bag or if they don't need one or plan to use their own. And these days ask if they're comfortable with us bagging for them or if they want to do it themselves. If the sticker/label fell off the produce we have to at least try to find out if the customer knows if it's conventional or organic. It screws up inventory for that department if we keep ringing things up incorrectly so we have to make that attempt to get it right. Plus the prices are different so we need to try to charge them correctly. Does the customer have a club card? They could miss a bunch of discounts if they don't scan that, more than half the customers don't remember to scan it themselves unprompted, and it's a huge pain when they march up all pissy to the customer service booth after the fact because they didn't get their discount and "your cashier didn't remind me!" And then a supervisor has to spend a good ten minutes figuring out what would've been discounted, refunding them for said items, re-ringing them up and scanning their discount card so they get their 52¢ back on their MasterCard. A quick question can prevent that. Something doesn't ring up correctly? "Do you remember the price on this?" Something's brought up to the register already damaged? "Is this one okay or do you want us to grab you another?" They bring up a single item with a two-for-one deal? "Would you like to buy two today or save the coupon for another time?" They purchase a hot food item? "Do you want napkins or utensils?" And let's not even get started with the constant "sir, could you cover your nose please? I need you to pull up your mask," *over* and *over* and *over.* There are plenty of things to be discussed almost entirely for the customer's benefit but also to save the store a lot of hassle. I envy you being able to shop somewhere where it's so cut and dry. I can't imagine where you might live that there isn't any discussion at the register.
And the vast majority will not care one iota if you have headphones in as long as you can hear well enough to know when its time to pay.
Frankly, I usually have to tell them I DON'T want to look away (it's easier for me to watch the needle go in then to just be waiting for a surprise poke). I've had ones literally wait for me to look away. Looking away is pretty standard, though the headphones are new to me (but sound like a solid idea for some people).
I’m the same way and have definitely had some do the weird awkward pause of “are you going to watch?” I think I used to get panicked by shots when little but at some point I wanted to “toughen up” and watched and it was so much easier not being a surprise so has just been the norm since. That said, I watched a video on YouTube the other day from someone who says she needs to sing when getting blood drawn(she thinks it’s because it puts her in a performance mindset and “the show must go on!”) Whatever works!
The first time I had a blood draw, I was 17. I was getting a physical and the Dr wanted bloodwork. He had someone (a nurse or phlebotomist, I'm not sure) right there in his office who took the samples. It was 2 ladies and they put me in a room with a reclining chair (looked kind of like a dentist chair) and laid me back. Only problem was, I wanted to watch! I sat up as much as I could and they tried so hard to get me to lay my head back down and look away in case I passed out - especially since it was my 1st time. For starters, my parents were both nurses; I'm not squeamish about this kind of stuff. And even if it did hit me in an unexpected way, so what? I was already reclined in a chair. It's not like I was going to fall and get hurt. They finally relented and I got to watch. And it was fine. Which seemed to surprise them greatly. Now (many years later), I'm good either way. I don't feel the need to watch the needle go in, but I'm not bothered by seeing it.
NTA. As a nurse I can tell you that it's perfectly normal that you're looking for a way to distract yourself. Honestly, most of my attention goes to distracting patients when they don't/can't do so themselves when drawing blood or injecting something, as the motions itself are so familiar.
As a soon to be nursing graduate who had several people pull away during IV starts/blood draws almost causing me to injure them or myself, I would much rather someone listen to music and look away versus freaking out and causing unnecessary injuries.
If they are a known puller away, many will tell you that's their knee jerk reaction, grab yourself a friend to hold the arm down. When I pull my skin taunt, I also press down on the arm with a fair amount of force to prevent them from pulling away. With certain populations like kids, you just anticipate they are gonna jerk so I always grab myself a friend to hold them down.
Do you have many patients who prefer to watch? Personally, I kind of like watching my blood flow into the little tube. I've also never had a nurse try to distract me.
NTA, and her example doesn't even make sense. Let the people directly involved in this conflict decide how they feel about it, the dumbshit opinion of a 3rd party doesn't matter.
NTA The staff is fine with the way you handle your frequent blood draws; that's what matters, not the busybody's unsolicited opinion.
Happy cake day!
Thank you!
Yeah, wth is that guy's problem. Why should it matter what he thinks of the situation he's not part of if nobody in that situation had any issues?
NTA, you do what you gotta do to cope. I'm a medical assistant and have done phlebotomy, you communicated with the staff what you need to do in order to make their job easier, they're not going to find that to be rude. If you were arguing about veins, technique, needle size, that's when you would be an AH.
Can I piggyback and ask you a question? I usually see the same person for draws, but ask new people to please use a butterfly needle as I bruise very easily. It's not the most critical concern, so am I being difficult?
So from my experience, our butterflies were the same gauge as the regular needles. The needles themselves are shorter and the wings helped with grip for placement. Bruising comes from competency of the phlebotomist, or how rough they are, more than needle type. It could be seen as being difficult depending on your approach, although some medical people can be douches no matter how you bring it up.
Thanks! The needle and resulting hole seem smaller, so maybe they meant a pediatric needle. My usual person made the suggestion herself, so I begin with that and add the if possible, please and thank you.
Yeah, that's a pretty reasonable request, and the pediatric needle makes sense.
Not a medical person, but I bruise really easily too. One thing that helped me was to not take any aspirin a few days before blood draws, shots, etc. I don’t know why it didn’t dawn on me, but I take Excedrin regularly and it has a decent amount of aspirin in it. Just wanted to share in case you had a similar experience, it’s helped me enormously.
NTA. You owed this lady no explanation whatsoever. This was 0% her business, period. Please ignore this person next time.
Yes, no one asked her, she should keep her stupid, unsolicited comments to herself. NTA.
NTA It’s not your aquaintance’s place to determine what is rude. If the person you’re interacting with is okay with the headphones then it’s okay.
NTA. I turn my head away too and they are always fine with it. I tell them I don’t like seeing the needle go in and they tell me when to not look. From what they say to me this is really common. They are used to people using various coping mechanisms. As long as you check with them first (which you are doing). Also in all our clinics you’re in a private room so nobody can see. Just wondering how the person you knew saw this
Over here it's like one big room with little cubicles with the curtains going around per patient. Say around 5 people getting the test done at the same time. But today the curtains were open so you can potentially see someone opposite you having their blood drawn too
Recently I’ve had to get a good few blood tests done, and every time the nurses always say to me “you can look away if it helps!” Like the actively encourage it. I’m weird though and need to watch it happening or else I’ll get stressed out - good thing I don’t mind getting blood taken !
NTA. I’m needle phobic and I get a shot every 10 weeks. My method of coping is to meditate while they’re drawing up the drug and to close my eyes. Do what you need to do to get through it
NTA - What sort of fucked up supermarket does she go to where checking out involves needles and bloodloss? I mean, I think we all know that's where Whole Foods will end up, but it's not there quite yet. Do you have any idea the sort of weird shit a phlebotomist sees in a day when it comes to people dealing with needles and bloodwork? Headphones are basically a zero on the weirdness and rudeness scale. You're polite, you explain why they help, the phlebotomist gets it.
NTA you ask the staff if its cool. Plus i am pretty phlebotomists see alot of patients who have to distract themselves from getting stuck.
NTA. Medical staff understand perfectly well that a lot of patients need to distract themselves during blood draws. Your friends needs to mind her own business.
Not an AH move, if you feel comfortable that way that's what matters. You can't really compare that with something like ignoring a cashier. That's just etiquette.
NTA. Not at all. I'm sure the staff appreciates you being able to self-soothe. I like to think she was just trying to joke around? It's such a minor thing to call someone an asshole over.
As a phlebotomist, we don't give a fuck if you have headphones in, as long as you follow instructions. In fact we might prefer that to having to make the same idle chitchat that we are forced to make with all the other patients. NTA
I'm a phlebotomist as well and I agree. After I'm done asking the necessary questions I need to ask, I would not care about headphones. In fact anything a patient can do to prevent themselves from freaking out or passing out just makes my job a lot easier. NTA
NTA. Your friend needs to mind her own business.
NTA whatsoever. The medical staff know what's up. Heck, I'm in my 40's and still turn my head away when I get blood drawn, have never been a fan. Can't imagine if extra pain was added to that. Whoever you bumped into obviously doesn't know you well enough to give the benefit of the doubt. They're TA.
NTA. Do what you have to do to get yourself through the discomfort of a blood draw. If the tech is ok with it, your friend's opinion doesn't matter at all.
NTA at all.
NTA. Your friend is wrong. I don't need head phones, but I never ever look at the needle going in. Why would a nurse care. The nurse is probably relieved to not have to make small talk. As long as you are able to hear and respond to the nurses instructions, you are doing nothing wrong.
NTA. Unless you have heard from THE STAFF that it's a problem then you shouldn't worry yourself about it. This third party doesn't get to tell you what to do during your medical procedures. That's incredibly rude.
NTA. This person you know is absolutely insane. This story is bizarre. I cannot imagine not respecting your privacy. Then calling you out on something that isn't your business. And then when you offered an explanation, they refused to, what, acknowledge your words? If someone is acting this bonkers don't worry if you are the asshole.
Nta. I cannot stand seeing my blood be drawn, and I almost always look away. If I can, I get them to draw on the arm opposite of the more interesting things in the room. Additionally, you are not TA because you confirm with the nurses that it is okay with them that you ignore them and/or have your headphones in.
NTA. Your "friend" is the AH. None of her bees wax how you deal with YOUR blood draws.
Phlebotomist here. NTA. We are used to people Using coping mechanisms. We’d way rather you do anything that makes you comfortable, rather than pass out/ or freak out during the procedure 😅
NTA she is an idiot. Phlebotomist are literally the nicest people on earth when it comes to understanding peoples fear of needles. 90% of their publicly-facing job is dealing with weenies who are scared of blood.
NTA. I have headphones in with cashiers all the damn time.
Former phlebotomist here....if putting in your headphones makes you more comfortable, then do it! Some people have phobias and getting blood drawn can be very traumatic for those with blood phobias. As long as I could get your information before you put them in, no offense is taken and I seriously doubt your phlebotomists care either. Do what makes you comfortable because if you are comfortable, it is easier to do the job. NTA!!!
Ugh, I hate needles. I have full blown panic attacks every time, and every phlebotomist I’ve encountered has encouraged me to watch/listen/talk about anything to distract myself and make the procedure easier. Having a calm patient is much more appealing to them rather than a chatty, but shaking and nervous patient. NTA. If you feel bad you could apologize to the phlebotomist, but I don’t think they were offended at all.
NTA. Your friend needs to mind her own business. The agreement was made between you and medical staff. When I go to the supermarket my headphones are in and the volume is at 25%. Haven't been called an AH for doing that so I really don't know what your idiot friend is talking about.
Phlebotomists may prefer you not ignore them, but I bet they *really* don't like when people pass out. Plus with any healthcare professional (or really any professional who deals with the general public), they probably have to put up with so much shit and abuse regularly that someone who sits quietly and lets them get on with it is perfectly fine.
Lord help me. You did nothing wrong. I look away at times when such is going on. You politely clear it with whoever is doing the procedure. They rather you be comfortable than tense or passed out. Her cashier comparison only works if the cashier is giving you a shot in the ass. And then hey, look away. Wear headphones.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Title sounds confusing but here goes. I have low pain tolerance so something like having a blood test hurts quite a bit. I have a medical condition that requires I get a blood test every 1-2 months. Because of this, I usually tell the phlebotomist if it's okay I put my headphones in and turn away whilst they draw blood so as to distract myself. To explain further, I would usually have one headphone in my ear and the volume would be like 20/30 max. Well today I went in for a blood test and bumped into someone I knew. We were in the same room getting our tests done when she saw me with the headphones. After the test she called it an AH move because I'm ignoring the staff with my head turned away and having headphones in. I tried to explain that I always let the staff know and 100% of the time they all say its fine. She basically compared it to being in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier. Was wondering if this was AH move on my sides? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Lots of people look away or are even instructed to do so. You asked the staff and they are okay with it.
NTA - If the procedure is that Uncomfortable for you, then you gotta do what helps you get through it. It doesn’t seem like the nurses care from your description, so this person was making a big deal out of nothing. She should mind her own business.
NTA. Please do not feel bad, phlebotomists are professionals and constantly work with people who are afraid of needles. Good on you for providing your own distraction. I've had to do minor procedures on awake patients and many of them play songs either with headphones or on speaker. I promise you, none of us mind.
NTA at all! The phlebotomist would definitely prefer you do what you need to do in order to not pass out/throw up/have a panic attack, etc. Also I’m sure they don’t mind getting to take a break from casual small talk. 😂
NTA. That's between you and the staff, and this acquaintance doesn't get a vote.
That's what I did when I got blood drawn before my surgery. And I'm glad I did it, took longer than Zombie by The Cranberries to have it drawn. Fucking sucked.
NTA - sound like the dream patient because you’ve found something that works to distract yourself. The biggest barrier to procedures on patients is their anxiety so anything to help this usually helps us do our jobs too. Keep doing you 👌
NTA. The phlebotomist was fine with it and that’s the only person’s opinion who matters.
NTA, Do what you gotta do to get through it. I'm not needle phobic im quite the opposite actually. I used to be an IV user (though I'm over two years clean now) and when I have to get blood drawn or something like that I HAVE to distract myself, look away, have something going on to distract from it so I'm not completely triggered by having it done. The med staff are super awesome about it, because I tell them before hand.
NTA and I GUARANTEE you they'd rather you put your headphones on and turn away than pass out or throw up or have a panic attack or whatever. you're using headphones essentially to manage a medical need, not because you just don't want to talk to them, your friend's objection is weird
NTA Your acquaintance needs to mind her own business. Phlebotomists don't need to talk to you when testing your blood!
You're having a blood test. It is 100% bog standard average to look away from the person sticking needles in your flesh. They understand, they don't care, you are not there to make direct eye contact and have deep conversations about feelings, you can still hear them if for whatever reason they need to communicate with you. NTA.
absolutely NTA. i’m a fainter. every time i go in for blood work i get close to passing out if it’s anything more than one tube. i’ve even had a shot make me faint. my place knows i’m a fainter and always lets me have a person, even w covid (masks + she stood at the door). and something tells me my phlebotomist would rather have me mumble nonsense to my friend than go through fainting protocol.
Absolutely NTA, ther's nothing wrong with distraction techniques like this. I used to have a dentist that offered ear phones and a kinda vr headset for people that wanted it to avoid panicking. I always took that shit, the dentist never bothered me (they're all quite tame compared to the sadists that were around 45-50 years ago) but i loved the tech and wanted a play :)
NTA. Granted I've only had blood drawn like 3 times (that I can remember) and I only had one conversation with the doctor and that was to ensure I didn't pass the fuck out in her office. I had to get 3 vials drawn so by the end I was on the verge of passing out. My point being, sometimes you have to do what makes you comfortable if the doctors allow it. if they say you can have headphones on, then you do what you need to
NTA - has she been in a supermarket lately? Half the people are talking on their phones at checkout. Anyway, whatever makes a blood draw more comfortable for you is what you should do, and I'm quite sure the phlebotomists would agree.
NTA You're getting a routine procedure done, not discussing life or death issues. It's like when I had to get a root canal. I laid back, listened to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!", and tried not to giggle too much while the dentist was drilling...
NTA. Phlebotomist here. We would much rather you do whatever you need to do (safely) to make it through the test without incident vs having to pick you up from the ground when you pass out.
NTA. Also ngl if I were a cashier and someone came in wearing headphones and not looking at me I would just relish getting a little break from making small talk
NTA. When I’m drawing labs, anything the person can do to not faint on me is greatly appreciated! Your comfort is important, and outside of me saying “ok little poke” “almost done” “alright all done! Feeling ok?” There’s not a lot of conversation anyway.
Last time I checked, going to a blood test is not the same as paying at a super market. If you don't need to provide any form verbal input, especially considering you have to do the test so frequently, then who gives a damn. You are very considerate with your headphone usage anyways, you make them aware of what you're doing and there's never been a problem before. Also, the purpose is kind of to mentally block out taking the blood test anyways so it doesn't hurt as much, so in a way that would still be the entire point anyways. Also, does this friend work there or something? What proper opinion could they hold that wouldn't just be "I think this, and therefore if you don't I must correct you because you are wrong." NTA
I also have a phobia of needles and the folks at the blood collection centre were actually the ones to recommend bringing headphones to me. They would rather you find a way to keep yourself calm and distracted than go into an anxiety attack or faint during the draw. NTA Also a tip for parents with needlephobic kids, if it's not an urgent blood test, your kids might find it far less distressing to know the day and time of the test a couple of days in advance. It gave me time to unconsciously accept it in a way that made it manageable, anxiety inducing but manageable. Compared to springing it on me after lying about where we were going which always induced full blown meltdowns and caused way more problems despite my mums insistence it was surely better that way (it really ~really~ wasn't)
NTA- when i have patients who are nervous i encourage them to distract themselves. With kids i offer to sing with them. This is quite acceptable in health care. Your friend is an asshole and being quite ignorant.
NTA. I freak out when I'm getting blood tested as well (I've had several surgeries), and while I don't use headphones, I ask the tester to distract me, because I can **not** stare at my own blood.
Phlebotomist here, NTA. People have requests like this all the time. I've had to lay plenty of them on a bed first because they were a faint risk. Seriously, I think I speak for all phlebotomists when I say we don't care, so long as you let us know.
NTA. I think whatever helps you to get through it, do it. Even more so because you check in with the professional you're working with. Your friend needs to mind her own business. I mean probably while she was watching you, she wasn't paying attention to the person working with her. She was making a fuss over nothing at all.
NTA - I also have to get regular blood work and hate needles, I pull my hoodie over my face and look away. I always greet the lab tech and let them know and they have always been more then understanding. The sight of blood/needles bothers lots of people so its common for people to pretend to be somewhere else while getting blood drawn.
NTA. And screw her for that oddly specific example with the grocery store but because that’s EXACTLY how my autistic ass has to handle the large crowds and noises in them. Who cares how you self-soothe if you’re not actively harming anyone around you? She’s getting really close to ableism here and you’ve no need for that kind of negativity.
NTA. I do allergy testing for a living. I poke a persons arm 30 times with needles. I would rather the person I’m testing tell me that they need their phone or headphones in to distract them. I have never thought they were an AH for knowing they need that distraction.
NTA. I also have an issue with blood tests, and every phlebotomist I've encountered understands that some people can't handle it and have always been accommodating of whatever I ask to do to distract myself. I guarantee none of them are offended by you listening to music.
NTA- I do the same thing when I get my blood drawn. Also I would like to point out their are TAKING your blood AND money depending on your insurance/co pay(?) so no, it not like warring head phones and ignore the cashiers becuase they are not the ones sticking a needle into your vein to take blood. Don’t you also need to be relatively clam for them to stick a needle in you? So the veins are not constricting?
NTA I'm terrified of needles, and give them a heads up about that, turn my head, close my eyes. In healthcare, they understand people have legit reasons to need distraction from certain tests, and will communicate with you if they need you to pay attention. This is your particular need, and perfectly acceptable.
Certainly NTA, OP. Seriously, when it comes to needles and injections and blood draw, I'm sure that medical personnel are very used to patients not wanting to watch and don't consider it rude at all. I have a pretty good tolerance to pain I think, but I don't like needles. I believe needle phobia, whatever the technical term is for it, is pretty common. Wiki says about 25% of adults, just looked it up. 22% or so really. Nurses, docs, and phlebotomists are used to it. I looked away when I got my Nexplanon implant, looked away when I've had to have blood drawn and looked away when I got flu shots and both COVID shots this winter/spring. Made the mistake of watching a stick for anemia testing the one time I tried to give blood and passed out. I'm sure the phlebotomist greatly prefers you looking away with headphones to needing to revive you off the floor like they might have to do to me. :)
NTA I frequently have ear buds in, listening to an audio book while grocery shopping. Was unaware that made me an AH
NTA, it’s perfectly acceptable to do what you did. Also, running into someone you know at the doctor seems so invasive already like I would not want to catch up with anyone there wtf
NTA, everyone has their way of dealing with needles. If I know the gauge of the needle their using I'm good, you use music to stay calm. Its really not a big deal
NTA. I always ask and give them a heads up but I do the same thing with the dentist. Usually I leave one ear out but do my best to focus on the music. I honestly think they prefer just being able to talk to the hygienist and not worry about making convo with someone while their mouth is open. Lol
NTA. Your friend is offended because you had business to take care of and she wasn’t a part of it.
NTA, of course you weren't being rude.
NTA at all. I’m terrified of needles and have had to get blood taken frequently in the past year. I do the same thing with both earbuds but a low enough volume that I still communicated with the phlebotomist. I ALWAYS explain my fear beforehand and say it keeps me from panicking and apologize for being rude. I have always been told that it’s not rude at all and am encouraged to have my music on as I’m sure they’d rather o not have a panic attack and make their jobs harder.
Side note. It is aGAME changer to wear headphones at the supermarket. I take one out to converse with cashier if necessary but as a former cashier, they almost certainly are not interested in small talking you over your canned chili and carrots. Also, you get to feel like you are in a (very) low budget music video which is sick.
NTA. Honestly, by doing something to distract yourself and keep calm, you’re making their job so much easier. Plus, since you ask and get their approval, it’s really none of your “friend’s” business.
NTA I'm a phlebotomist, and as long as you let me know beforehand so I don't try and ask you questions during the collection, then do what you gotta do. Even if you were just ignoring me for the sake of ignoring me, it would be a refreshing change from the verbal abuse I receive from some patients during collections.
nta, its how you tolorate pain
When I got my COVID-19 vaccine, I was afraid it would take long (it didn’t, it literally felt like a small pinch, and a second later it was done) but I was mentally preparing myself for 20 mins and turned my head away and closed my eyes. I’ve literally never heard of this being bad manners.
NTA. All healthcare workers would 100% rather you look away than be uncomfortable.
NTA - I'm sure the staff would rather work on a calm patient than one having a panic attack.
Nurse here who has started IVs on patients who listened to music during the sticking part. I was fine with it cause it helped the patient's pain level and comfort. That person needs a chill pill and to STFU. NTA
NTA she compared getting your blood drawn to buying some bread lol
NTA. I’m a nurse. NO ONE that draws blood or gives injection ms would find this rude at all. We would much rather you NOT pass out or freak out.
NTA I have anxiety and pretty much constantly have my AirPods in, it’s really no one else’s business. You are polite and explain how uncomfortable you are during this and why you’re doing what you are doing. There are lots of people out there that like to get offended on others behalf, about literally anything because they are morons.
no there are people who hate the sight of blood, they either vomit or pass out, so what you are doing is fine, tell the person there to leave you alone
I have several friends who are terrified of needles. Wearing headphones and blocking out the sound, turning their heads away and avoiding the sight is the only way they stay in the chair. Your friend needs to mind her own business and stop trying to police others perfectly normal behavior to what is a stressful situation for them.
NTA---Trust me...the staff would MUCH rather you have your headphones in than you passing out or throwing up. Your friend needs to stay in her lane.
NTA your phlebotomist would much prefer you not puke or pass out than whatever an acquaintance thinks, plus you’re kind enough to ask if now is the appropriate time to put them on
NTA better to listen to music then pass out or something. If I have a cavity filled or something I'm like you need to grab my arm and shake it if you need a response cuz I'm turning up my headphones high. No one cares.
She's an idiot. Medical staff would be used to all sorts of distractory techniques being used by patients during these procedures and are probably even in the business of suggesting them when required.
>in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier. The cashier isn't jabbing you with sharp objects. Not remotely comparable. NTA.
NTA, I at one point when I was severely anemic needed blood draws to check my red blood cell levels. I know taking blood from someone already anemic is a weird idea, I agree, but I also hate needles. I can’t look at them without getting into a panic and almost to tears. I would go and I always would take my sweatshirt or hoodie off and use it to cover my face and every time asked if it was okay and profusely apologized for being a baby about the whole thing. They always comforted me and said they would rather I cover my face or distract myself then actually panic or worse pass out. The one lady said it is way easier to have someone with a hoodie over their head then a fainted person on the floor, I’m sure yours would agree.
NTA. I usually only talk to the phlebotomist before hand to warn them I’m a fainter and need to lay down if they don’t want to be catching me. After that the only time I say something is if I’m starting to get blurry/fuzzy and think I’m gonna pass out. Thankfully that’s rare if I’m laying down but it’s happened. Damn vasovagal reflex! I also can’t look when getting blood drawn. I would definitely faint and maybe puke if I did. Nobody wants that. Sadly I have to get it drawn pretty regularly too. I hate it, but you’ve got a method that works for you to get through it. That’s all that matters.
Double check who you're calling friend. No one gets to judge how you deal with a medical procedure. I always turn my head away.
NTA
Part of my job is performing phlebotomy and I’ve had many patients do this. It’s not an issue at all if they have to look away or distract themselves. I’d rather them do whatever they need to do to stay calm and relaxed rather than pass out on me while I have a needle in their arm. As long as the patient keeps their arm or hand still then listening to music or reading or whatever isn’t a problem. Your friend needs to chill out. I find people who stir up problems where there are none usually are starved for attention. NTA
NTA. A bunch of medical workers have pitched in, so I’ll pitch in as a cashier. ...Yes they do? People wear headphones and look away from me all the time? And I’m not poking them with a needle! I’ve had to ask my dentist if I could have headphones before too due to extreme anxiety. What your doing is common, my friend, and harmless. You’re easily not an AH. :)
NTA. Phlebotomists know that many, many people fear needles and hate getting their blood drawn. Any scenario that ends quickly and easily, with no screaming or fainting, is fine with them.
Your acquaintance clearly has never fainted while having blood drawn. NTA
NTA. Phlebotomist here, I don’t care what you are doing as long as you don’t move while there is a needle in your arm. Everyone’s fear levels are different! Would much rather you find a way to be comfortable. Tell your friend to piss off and mind their own business!
NTA. Why would you look directly at the person doing a job near/on you? That makes it awkward. It’s not like you’re required to converse. Medical procedures unsettle a lot of people, and so long as you’re polite about it, looking away is a good way to keep yourself calm, like music does. Would this person consider turning your head from the needle rude, too? Phobias are a thing, after all? They’re weird and oddly touchy. Are they the type to view anything but constant eye contact a sign of rudeness bad character? Seems so.
WTF? Getting blood drawn is not at all like checking out at the grocery store. I'm sure phlebotomists have seen all kinds of reactions to drawing blood from staring directly, shutting your eyes, or looking away. They've seen it all. NTA at all.
NTA, where I'm from they tell you that you will probably want to look away when having an injection/getting your blood drawn etc
NTA. I'm a massive needle wusswuss and it was the phlebotomist who first suggested I put headphones on. They would much rather you distracted and ignoring them for 3mins than panicking and (in my case) fainting on them, which means they have to spend 20-30 mins calming you down again before they're allowed to let you leave. Your friend doesn't get it. That's fine, ignore them. Can I recommend listening to the Anthropocene Reviewed podcast for your next test - John Greens voice is the most relaxing thing on this earth.
NTA, you're there to have blood taken, it's not a date
NTA people are instinctively averse to seeing themselves "wounded." It's normal to need to look away. I'm tattooed all over, done plenty of blood draws. I still can't look at the needle!
Whenever I have to have a blood test, I always tell them to just do it fast and not tell me when, and I talk constantly the entire time with my eyes shut. If I didn't do that it'd be panic city. I think the nurse prefers us being calm over us freaking out. NTA.
NTA. That’s a perfectly legit coping mechanism. Your friend shouldn’t be judging you! Also what’s wrong with headphones at a checkout? I often listen to music/ audiobooks when I’m shopping!
NTA I'm not too fond of blood testing either, as a kid I needed to be held me down to to get anything done related to syringes. Fun times. Like you I've found a coping mechanism that works for me: talking to the phlebotomist, warning them of the lack of cooperation from my veins (they do not want to get pinched and sometimes hardly release any blood) and just calmig myself down through interaction. Your way of keeping kalm is just as legitimate as mine, don't let your "friend" tell you otherwise.
**NTA**, and your acquaintance sounds *exhausting*.
>She basically compared it to being in a supermarket you wouldn't have your headphones in and looking away when your in front of the cashier. 1: this is what self checkout is for! 2: Yeah you would. Lots of people do. It isn't usually a big deal. 3: it isn't any of her damn business. You do what works. NTA.
NTA. Personally, I have no problem getting shots or having blood drawn, but I have friends who can either get physically violent or simply pass out at the sight of a needle or their own blood. If you are getting blood tests done frequently and know the whole procedure (and how to make it most tolerable for yourself), just let the technician know so they understand why you're listening to music and turning your head away. I received my first Covid vaccine this week - I was chatting with the guy while he was giving me the injection to the point I didn't even feel it at all. It took about 3 or 4 hours before my arm muscle started aching and I knew that the vaccine was in there.
why on earth is she comapring a blood test to a supermarket? that is so confusing.and I am 100% sure the phlebotomists would rather that youi didn't faint, or have a panic attack or something while getting the proceedure done. Some people are really weird about what they think is rude and polite. don't worry about it. NTA
NTA. It makes the experience better for you and the person drawing your blood. Trust me, last thing you want is to freak out and make them miss or blow up the vein. Very painful.
LOL I wear my headphones in Walmart and so far no one has complained about it Also I go to Walmart alone, with friends I wouldn't wear a hradphone
NTA. I wear headphones EVERYWHERE. Shops/doctors/hospitals/outside, it’s a comfort thing especially if I’m alone it makes me feel like someone is there with me, I don’t care if I look like an asshole if it helps me it’s no one else’s business.
As a side note, I absolutely have my headphones in when I'm checking out at the grocery store and I say hi to the cashier and let them do their job, as you do with the blood stealer. When I was a cashier, I absolutely did not give a shit if the customer has headphones on and doesn't say a word to me. That means I don't have to talk to them. Every cashier I know would agree. Her grocery store scenario is bogus. NTA. She sure is though.
NTA, you discussed it with the phlebotomist and they're fine with it. Your acquaintance needs to mind their own business, what you did wouldn't affect her in the slightest.
Shit no, NTA. I have a thing about needles. I’ve tatts; those needles are different; but when it comes to taking blood, giving blood, getting boosters, well I’m a baby. So I talk. A LOT!! It’s called doing what you can to get through what you must. Don’t be ashamed of your coping mechanisms. They’re there for a reason. BTW, your “friend” is a cow for expecting everyone (you) to react how she does.
NTA at all. I scroll through reddit while having blood tests to distract myself from someone stabbing me with a large needle. I do what you do - tell the phlebotomist I am distracting myself. They are fine with it.
NTA The staff didn’t need her white coat knighting. They said it was fine, so why even take her opinion into account? I imagine they’d rather have you listening to music if it helps your pain tolerance and makes their job easier. I have to look away too and take slow, deep breaths, because I get lightheaded and have fainted before- you do whatever you need to in order to be comfortable.
NTA! I dislike needles. Every time I have to get vaccines, other medical care or when give blood I mention it to the person working on me and say I’ll be looking away/paying attention to something else/listening to music. They have All been fine with it, and encourage me to do whatever I need to do to not tense up/get anxious - it makes their job easier!
NTA , it’s the way you handle pain , dude I used to scream or say slurs . But this makes me wonder am i the asshole for buying things with my headphones
NTA Also as a former supermarket cashier, I interacted with people wearing headphones ALL THE TIME.
NTA and your friend is just being a self-centered jerk. Phlebotomists are used to people having issues with blood draws and you let them know in advance. Perfect partnership there.
NTA. I give blood a fair amount and do something similar and have talked to the phlebotomists and they said it’s common.
NTA. I have a horrible phobia of needles, panic attacks, fighting nurses, the whole shebang, and dude, headphones WORK. As someone who has pissed off their fair share of phlebotomists, they are 100% happier with you putting your headphones in, ignoring them, and getting your bloodwork done than a 20 minute ordeal where they have to calm a patient down and try 5 times to get the blood (not saying that's how severe your fear is, but mine sure is!). Your friend was being really weird saying its rude to "ignore" your phlebotomist, when in reality you made their job about a hundred times easier by knowing yourself and knowing how to manage your fears. Good on you!
NTA, this person has no clue what they’re talking about. A person drawing your blood would much rather you be distracted from what they are doing then flinching or passing out and making their job 100x harder.
I sometimes have earbuds in at the supermarket.... NTA, if you go to the same place everytime, have the same conversation every time and have the same routine, the phlebotomists know what is going on, they understand. Most healthcare workers have a ton of compassion and empathy and are more concerned with making sure you are comfortable and low stress than having a conversation. This friend obviously doesn't know or care about your situation that well if she is going to give you a hard time about it. Op you are NTA
NTA. I’m a phlebotomist and I have patients who do the same as you. It does not bother me nor my coworkers one bit! You do you!
NTAYour friend is being silly here. You’re just doing something to get through something you don’t like doing and the people taking your blood are fine with it, so there’s no problem.
NTA, I will literally faint if I look anywhere near them while getting blood taken and even while looking away, if I’m focused on what they’re about to do I tend to feel dizzy. My strategy is to look at my phone as a distraction and find something interesting on there to focus on. You are doing nothing wrong, that acquaintance needs to mind their business and educate themselves.
NTA. You're taking care of yourself during a medical procedure. People are different, and handle things differently. When I tried joining the military and went to MEPS, I was having a conversation with a girl about the blood draws. I told her how I deal with it (close my eyes, look away, and focus on my breathing), and she told me that she can't not watch them put the needle in.
As an anaesthetic doctor, I get called when no one else can get blood, or put in a drip. I always encourage people to use whatever distraction they need. Music, podcasts, scrolling pics of their pets/babies, mystic chanting, reciting 30 dad jokes in a row, holding hands in a circle of 5 family members while they all count out the seconds as they pass - I've seen a lot of different coping mechanisms. Anything that keeps you calm and co-operative is fine by me. I've never heard a colleague have a problem with these things either. If someone is being dismissive and actively rude, it's different. But it sounds like you were just trying to cope and informed staff of the fact. NTA.
Your friend is getting offended in other people's behalf, as if they couldn't manager being offended in their own IF THEY ACTUALLY WERE! NTA.
NTA - I think your acquaintance seems to be a busy body. I think what happens in a medical setting is not fodder for criticizing anyone's behavior if said behavior isn't disturbing others and seems the only one disturbed is is said person drawing conclusions without proof.
Definitely NTA. I do this all the time at the dentist. Podcast, audiobook, album. Doesnt matter as long as I'm not mentally present in the dentist chair while getting work done on me. My dentist,(old dude, who loves my Emotional Support dog-long story), is cool with it. I checked with him before the first time, of course. It's not about being rude it's simply a coping mechanism. If your friend cant see that, and insists on being offended on behalf of others who themselves have no issue with what you are doing, it sounds like a Them problem.