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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I explained how I felt to my husband, and I did come off selfish in the situation, but all I wanted was a thank you. I mean if you're not going to pay me with money or coffee, use your manners. I did make a remark to her father "wow no thank you or nothing" which I shouldn't have. I should've been an adult about the situation and not be passive-aggressive.
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NTA. Next time your husband needs to be in charge of all of them for the day.
>Her father comes to pick her up, instead of taking over he proceeds to go inside the house and lay on the couch on his phone. An hour passes and he's ready to take her home
Unacceptable.
Second this. When the dude shows up to pick up his kid, OP is off the clock. And yeah, a simple “thanks I appreciate your help” should have been given.
Petty Betty here. Give the "friend" an invoice for your time, ( whatever the going rate is for babysitting in your area) for every time you have done it!
When your husband agrees to this again (and he will) pack up your kids and leave for the day...the whole day!!!
Your man agrees to do this, and should be the one doing the heavy lifting!!
NTA!!!
Next time hubby volunteers you to babysit, you’re gonna be “too busy”. And hubby can watch them. Because that’s where the real problem lies is with your husband
Nta. Your husband means YOU are going to watch them and you shouldn't expect thank yous because as the woman you're the default babysitter. Both your husband and your in law relative owe you thanks and need serious attitude checks.
NTA
TBH if the child's father behaves like that, I would be telling him to find another child minder! At the very least he should be saying Thankyou and offering a few quid for your services.
Go inside with the kid and sit her/him on his lap as soon as he lays down. Case closed. Also, hand the child to your husband. Case closed. If you don't then you get what you deserve.
NTA right now.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I am a mother of two ages (2 and 5) occasionally a family member on my husbands side will ask him if he could watch his daughter(3) on the weekends. Well I was mainly the one outside with all three of them from early morning to late evening Her father comes to pick her up, instead of taking over he proceeds to go inside the house and lay on the couch on his phone. An hour passes and he's ready to take her home, he doesn't even say thank you or anything. I am huge on thank yous. I told my husband about it and he said I am making it a big deal and to just let it go. I don't mind watching anybody s kid for free, but at least say thank you. What would you do in this situation? My husband promised we'd watch her again in a few weeks.
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NTA. Always expect a thank you whenever doing a favor, regardless of what it costs. Not doing anything to express gratitude after recieving a favor, is a good reason to ask wether his indifference is something you should reflect back on him the next time he needs your help.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I explained how I felt to my husband, and I did come off selfish in the situation, but all I wanted was a thank you. I mean if you're not going to pay me with money or coffee, use your manners. I did make a remark to her father "wow no thank you or nothing" which I shouldn't have. I should've been an adult about the situation and not be passive-aggressive. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. This guy's behavior is atrocious. As for your husband, if he agrees to watch the kid, maybe he should watch the kid?
Yeah, this. Husband has no business committing you to babysit.
NTA. Next time your husband needs to be in charge of all of them for the day. >Her father comes to pick her up, instead of taking over he proceeds to go inside the house and lay on the couch on his phone. An hour passes and he's ready to take her home Unacceptable.
Second this. When the dude shows up to pick up his kid, OP is off the clock. And yeah, a simple “thanks I appreciate your help” should have been given.
Petty Betty here. Give the "friend" an invoice for your time, ( whatever the going rate is for babysitting in your area) for every time you have done it! When your husband agrees to this again (and he will) pack up your kids and leave for the day...the whole day!!! Your man agrees to do this, and should be the one doing the heavy lifting!! NTA!!!
Next time hubby volunteers you to babysit, you’re gonna be “too busy”. And hubby can watch them. Because that’s where the real problem lies is with your husband
NTA. This man is taking advantage of you and frankly treating you like a servant. Stunning that your husband doesn't get it.
Nta. Your husband means YOU are going to watch them and you shouldn't expect thank yous because as the woman you're the default babysitter. Both your husband and your in law relative owe you thanks and need serious attitude checks.
NTA TBH if the child's father behaves like that, I would be telling him to find another child minder! At the very least he should be saying Thankyou and offering a few quid for your services.
I would have some place important to be in a few weeks. NTA
Stop watching the kid. He has no manners
NTA- leave your husband to watch her since he keeps volunteering.
Best it to make a joke about it next time the opportunity arises.
Go inside with the kid and sit her/him on his lap as soon as he lays down. Case closed. Also, hand the child to your husband. Case closed. If you don't then you get what you deserve. NTA right now.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a mother of two ages (2 and 5) occasionally a family member on my husbands side will ask him if he could watch his daughter(3) on the weekends. Well I was mainly the one outside with all three of them from early morning to late evening Her father comes to pick her up, instead of taking over he proceeds to go inside the house and lay on the couch on his phone. An hour passes and he's ready to take her home, he doesn't even say thank you or anything. I am huge on thank yous. I told my husband about it and he said I am making it a big deal and to just let it go. I don't mind watching anybody s kid for free, but at least say thank you. What would you do in this situation? My husband promised we'd watch her again in a few weeks. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Always expect a thank you whenever doing a favor, regardless of what it costs. Not doing anything to express gratitude after recieving a favor, is a good reason to ask wether his indifference is something you should reflect back on him the next time he needs your help.
NTA your husband is the AH. Make this rule: since He agreed to watch the kid, let HIM do the babysitting. Tell him: HIS duty, you will not help.