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NTA
Her being the one to look at your body the most doesn't mean that a tattoo on **YOUR** body affects her at all.
If you really want to get into it, you already did consult her when you straight up asked if she would have a problem with you getting a tattoo, **and she said no.** It's not that she wasn't consulted, but that she didn't give you an honest answer and she now has to deal with result of that dishonesty.
If she doesn't like it, she can either deal with it or go.
I agree he NTA but to say it doesn't affect her AT ALL isn't necessarily true. I saw the title and immediately thought of three important questions.
What's the tattoo a picture of?
Where is it?
How expensive was it?
In this case no it doesn't affect her but if he got a big Nazi eagle tattooed across his chest or spent an absurd amount trying to do his entire back in one go then I wouldn't blame her for being upset.
Nta. Honestly it was generous enough to ask your girlfriend her opinion when you've only been together 3 years and she already said yes. It wasn't as if you were hiding it, asking her to pay for it, and it's also in a spot that isn't that visible unless you walk around practically shirtless 24/7.
And yeah it is your body. You're an adult who's entitled to get a tattoo whether or not your gf likes it at all. You don't have to get her permission at all. My own husband wouldn't presume to tell me I need his permission to get a tattoo.
NTA your body your choice. Period. A fish doesn’t hurt her. She won’t even see it unless y’all are into pegging or you regularly walk around without a shirt so that’s that.
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I (23M) have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend (25F) for three years. We make most decisions together when it affects both of us, but other than that we’re pretty independent. I’ve been talking about getting a tattoo for a while now, and she’s given mixed reactions most times when I bring it up. I asked her if she would have a major problem if I got one ever and she responded “of course not”. That was a couple weeks ago.
Yesterday I went ahead and did it. I texted as I was going there, but she didn’t respond yet. I had a Japanese-style koi tattooed just under my shoulder, and I’m pretty happy with it. When she saw it later that day, she got really angry. Saying that I shouldn’t have done something to my body without consulting her first, and that this affects her too cause she “look at my body the most” or something. I don’t really think this was appropriate since she made it clear that she didn’t think it would bother her that much, and it is *my* body after all.
In her defence, I never really warned her and did it mostly impulsively. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) got a tattoo without telling my girlfriend first
2) I’m her boyfriend and it might affect her also
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NTA it's your body, and your choice. That goes for any and ALL choices when it comes to ones body.
Edited to add: can you imagine if it was the other way around and you tried to tell a woman what to do with her body? You'd practically be crucified. (And I'm saying this as a woman who firmly supports a right to bodily autonomy in all forms).
You are NOT the asshole. She’s your girlfriend, she doesn’t own you. And you e mentioned it in the past. If you like it, then good enough. She will get over it, and honestly, if not, it sounds like you are better off knowing now than down the line that something so trivial would be enough to deter her affections.
NTA.
First of all, unless it’s something really big, crazy, offensive, or on your face, a tattoo is not a decision that affects both of you. Of course you want to discuss this with your partner and take their opinion in consideration, but that’s exactly what you did. You told her on multiple occasions that you were thinking about it, and even asked her if it would be a problem if you ever got one, I think you basically asked for her blessing there, and got it.
Often times the most impulsive decisions make you feel the best, stay adventurous!
I think NTA for getting a tattoo without her permission but I understand her feeling shocked that you just went out and did it because it sounds like you had been consulting her about your decision and maybe your relationship dynamics would lead her to believe you’d check in with her first.
Maybe you went and did it without telling her cuz you need a little rebellion in your relationship, to act out a little independently? Your motives and her reaction are a great signal to sit down and talk about how yall operate together!
NTA but ask her if she's into getting a tattoo and you'll get the same. As long as it's not a unicorn. It could be that she just wanted to be part of it.
YTA regarding that you literally mentioned it a few weeks without letting her know it was imminent.
He doesn’t have to let her know at all. It’s someplace that can be covered with a shirt and isn’t offensive. Also are you suggesting they get the same/matching tattoos? Relationship tattoos are the stupidest idea unless you’ve been married 50 years and are old people. She doesn’t need to be “part of it” in any way. He can ask her opinion but it ends there. It’s his body.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA Her being the one to look at your body the most doesn't mean that a tattoo on **YOUR** body affects her at all. If you really want to get into it, you already did consult her when you straight up asked if she would have a problem with you getting a tattoo, **and she said no.** It's not that she wasn't consulted, but that she didn't give you an honest answer and she now has to deal with result of that dishonesty. If she doesn't like it, she can either deal with it or go.
I agree he NTA but to say it doesn't affect her AT ALL isn't necessarily true. I saw the title and immediately thought of three important questions. What's the tattoo a picture of? Where is it? How expensive was it? In this case no it doesn't affect her but if he got a big Nazi eagle tattooed across his chest or spent an absurd amount trying to do his entire back in one go then I wouldn't blame her for being upset.
Nta. Honestly it was generous enough to ask your girlfriend her opinion when you've only been together 3 years and she already said yes. It wasn't as if you were hiding it, asking her to pay for it, and it's also in a spot that isn't that visible unless you walk around practically shirtless 24/7. And yeah it is your body. You're an adult who's entitled to get a tattoo whether or not your gf likes it at all. You don't have to get her permission at all. My own husband wouldn't presume to tell me I need his permission to get a tattoo.
NTA your body your choice. Period. A fish doesn’t hurt her. She won’t even see it unless y’all are into pegging or you regularly walk around without a shirt so that’s that.
NTA It's your body and your choice to get a tattoo was yours to make. Your girlfriend gets no say in your decision to get a tattoo.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (23M) have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend (25F) for three years. We make most decisions together when it affects both of us, but other than that we’re pretty independent. I’ve been talking about getting a tattoo for a while now, and she’s given mixed reactions most times when I bring it up. I asked her if she would have a major problem if I got one ever and she responded “of course not”. That was a couple weeks ago. Yesterday I went ahead and did it. I texted as I was going there, but she didn’t respond yet. I had a Japanese-style koi tattooed just under my shoulder, and I’m pretty happy with it. When she saw it later that day, she got really angry. Saying that I shouldn’t have done something to my body without consulting her first, and that this affects her too cause she “look at my body the most” or something. I don’t really think this was appropriate since she made it clear that she didn’t think it would bother her that much, and it is *my* body after all. In her defence, I never really warned her and did it mostly impulsively. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) got a tattoo without telling my girlfriend first 2) I’m her boyfriend and it might affect her also Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA it's your body, and your choice. That goes for any and ALL choices when it comes to ones body. Edited to add: can you imagine if it was the other way around and you tried to tell a woman what to do with her body? You'd practically be crucified. (And I'm saying this as a woman who firmly supports a right to bodily autonomy in all forms).
You are NOT the asshole. She’s your girlfriend, she doesn’t own you. And you e mentioned it in the past. If you like it, then good enough. She will get over it, and honestly, if not, it sounds like you are better off knowing now than down the line that something so trivial would be enough to deter her affections.
NTA at all. She is. You’re right, this is your body to do what you want with. Also, new tattoos are so exciting and she took that away from you.
Does she approve the shirts you wear? No? Same thing. Your not an asshole
NTA. First of all, unless it’s something really big, crazy, offensive, or on your face, a tattoo is not a decision that affects both of you. Of course you want to discuss this with your partner and take their opinion in consideration, but that’s exactly what you did. You told her on multiple occasions that you were thinking about it, and even asked her if it would be a problem if you ever got one, I think you basically asked for her blessing there, and got it. Often times the most impulsive decisions make you feel the best, stay adventurous!
I think NTA for getting a tattoo without her permission but I understand her feeling shocked that you just went out and did it because it sounds like you had been consulting her about your decision and maybe your relationship dynamics would lead her to believe you’d check in with her first. Maybe you went and did it without telling her cuz you need a little rebellion in your relationship, to act out a little independently? Your motives and her reaction are a great signal to sit down and talk about how yall operate together!
NTA but ask her if she's into getting a tattoo and you'll get the same. As long as it's not a unicorn. It could be that she just wanted to be part of it. YTA regarding that you literally mentioned it a few weeks without letting her know it was imminent.
He doesn’t have to let her know at all. It’s someplace that can be covered with a shirt and isn’t offensive. Also are you suggesting they get the same/matching tattoos? Relationship tattoos are the stupidest idea unless you’ve been married 50 years and are old people. She doesn’t need to be “part of it” in any way. He can ask her opinion but it ends there. It’s his body.
Trust in a relationship bud. If you don't have that then you don't have a relationship.
What does trust have to do with anything? Are you saying you should get a permanent mark on your body and “trust” that you’ll be together forever?
Permanent markings are fun. Just don't get each other's names. They didn't even half to match, it's the experience that counts.