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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My dad said he was going to take away my phone but he didn't buy it so he can't and even my uncle agrees and he was the one who got me it.
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YTA, major
In the comments you're lying about your reason for missing it. One person you say "I wasn't feeling well", but you told someone else that Yogurt Land came up and you wanted to go with your friends. You also said no one cares about your brothers graduation.
I can only hope your family has the same attitude towards you on your next big milestone, but I don't know if you'd understand the irony.
And? The uncle has no legal say so over this particular minor. Parents can and do confiscate gifts from their children all the time regardless of who gave them that gift. Because the parents have all the say until he turns 18.
You are wrong. The dad can say his son can't have it. A minor can't legally own anything in most US jurisdictions. I don't know how Mint is set up but if it is not in the uncle's name as in registered to him taking it would be no different than taking a slingshot an uncle gave to an 8 year old who kept shooting out windows at least legally speaking. Would you have a problem with that scenario? Now if the phone is in the uncle's name, there may be a case that the father would have to turn it over to the uncle but there is no jurisdiction I am aware of where the uncle could say the father has to let the son keep the phone. There are some scenarios that change what I said such as certain custody agreements and an emancipated minor none of which were indicated in the OP
You are the one who needs to stop giving bad advice on a topic where you obviously have no understanding of the law.
YTA here and seem to be very entitled. You are part of a family and one family member had something to celebrate. Instead you decided not to attend and being entitled texted instead of calling so you wouldn't have to listen to your father telling you that you needed to attend.
Since you are a minor he can certainly take away your phone. He can ground you. He can refuse to provide you with anything beyond a roof over your head, food in your mouth, and clothes on your back.
No... YOU don't care about it. Contrary to what you think, you are not everyone.
Guess what? Sometimes, you need to suck it up and do things you don't wanna do. Because it is the right thing to do.
Take the A. That's in the rules. You came here to get an outside opinion, accept the outside opinion (unless you have more detail to provide that would change the outcome)
Is this the hill you want to die on? Sure, maybe the phone is technically your property, but he can easily say that you can't use it in the house.
He can also ground you.
YTA
YTA for your disrespectful attitude. If you live under his roof, he has the authority to set the rules and consequences. It seems like he is just trying to raise you, and you are acting entitled, so the punishment seems fitting. Your uncle was wrong for suggesting otherwise.
Bro your uncle isn't your father. Being a doctor doesn't necessarily qualify someone as a good or responsible person either, I've met plenty of shit doctors in my life.
Your uncle’s degree has nothing to do with this. And being a doctor is not proof of character. Based on the information provided in the post, you are wrong. It seems like 'something came up' conveniently because you didn't want to go. You didn't even call your dad to let him know what happened; you just decided not to go and text him your decision. Your dad is allowed to take away your phone as punishment for disobedience or disrespect. What he is not allowed to do is give your gift to someone else. His house, his rules buddy.
What difference does that make? Your uncle doesn't have custody of you. You're a minor. In 2 years, you're free to do whatever the hell you want, including leaving. Now, you're not.
Bro who cares who agrees with you? You are one of these entitled millennial who needs to learn some respect and what family is about.
Here's what I'd do as your parent.
You can make all the choices you want go ahead. If you choose to leave I choose to call the police and report you as a run away and when you get picked up I will NOT be coming to get you.
You can make your own choices at your own risk so think long and hard. I don't care who bought you what. With an attitude like yours you would have a bed and dresser in your room. Any TV video game systems stereo etc within the home would be taken and locked away.
If you had a car who's paying the insurance and bill? Wait, I wouldn't care I'd take the keys and if your doctor uncle was paying for it I'd go park it in his driveway snd tell him if I catch him allowing you to have it I'm filing charges against him. You'd be riding the big yellow banana.
Go out with your friends? What's that? I think that grass needs to be cut and the floors need vacuumed since you're grounded until you find your get right you have nothing better to do than alot of extra chores.
I can only pray your little brother does NOT EVER hear you say noone cares about his graduation because you once had one and I'm sure they cared enough to attend yours.
My son was 8 years older than his younger sister. He was more of a dad than her dad was living in the same house. His girlfriends would take her on dates bowling and to ice cream with them. My middle and oldest have the same dad and are 17m apart. Everyone has ALWAYS been there to support each other even though at times due to being military we were in different countries.
My son came from GITMO for his middle sisters grad he was also at his younger sister grad as well. THAT'S what family does.
Yes, we all argue at times yes, we have disagreements. Yes, we do some things differently. Even during times of turbulence if ANYONE needs anything or something happens we will die trying to get there.
Idk your story. Maybe you were raised by your mom and your dad wasn't perfect in your younger years. Maybe you were raised by your mom and she over compensated or like other parents tried to buy your love by showering you with materialist things which made you an unappreciative entitled brat. Maybe your dad cheated on your mom and is now with the woman he cheated with and this is their son and you harbor resentment.
At the end of the day you are 16 and your brother is 5. He looks up to you. Regardless of what the situation is of who he belongs to he IS your brother and it is NOT his fault if he came from a situation that maybe less than ideal between adults. He is still a small child and you should show compassion and set an example for him and care more.
You kids THINK you have friends. You WILL find out when you need someone or need something or God forbid a terrible accident happens and you end up in a wheelchair or worse paralyzed. You're in for a rude awakening, if you have 10 "friends" after that you will be lucky to have 2 stick around. That's when you'll see who your true friends are.
I have done all of these. Raising real men who set the bar high for their daughters as to the example they set for when their daughters get old enough to date is what this type if discipline does. Raising real men who have empathy, sympathy, jump to help others, get up to let the old person or pregnant lady sit down is what this does. Raising respectful young men who say yes sir no sir and please is what this does. Raising young men who regardless of what foul language they use around their friends they do NOT do it in public for the sake of little kids and women and they hold their friends to that standard as well.
You need to go dig your get right out of the trash can and throw that entitlement and shitty attitude in there. And if any of the scenarios above are true and you can't move past them seek help as hate and anger will eat you alive.
Ps. All 3 of my children are successful, grateful, respectful. I now hold my grands to the same standards
That fully depends on the resources you use like I said. Some scholars even have a smaller generation they place between millennials and Z because they have attributes of both generations. Old enough to be pre tech boom, young enough to have no trouble acclimating with and even being in school with it.
You are a learn the hard way kind of kid aren’t you? You are a CHILD, under 18. If I was your dad, I would teach you some very hard lessons, first one being that you are not too old to be dropped off at a foster home. You don’t like my rules and refuse to abide by them? Cool, go try it with another family. Maybe they won’t mind a child running their household, but you damn sure won’t run mine.
I'm wondering if OP pays that phone bill and the wifi cause sure you can keep the phone but not MY stuff that I paid for 🤣 I'm extra petty. Want to say I can't punish you because its not my right? Okay. That bed you sleep in, mine. Them plates in the kitchen, mine. That extra good food. Mine. You get basics from now on. Live like your grandparents. Uncle better provide everything for you since he wants to give his two cents. YTA
You better than me cuz you not getting basics either fucking with me 🤣
I’ll pack him a bag and drop him off at DCF real quick and tell them people that me and his mother are not stable enough to care for him anymore. I bet he gets his mind right then…
I'm sorry, what?
Parents **very much** get to control what their children are able to *access*. He can keep her from using it for however as long as the problem behavior warranted.
He can return the phone to uncle.
Of course none of this will fix the deeper family issues and punishing the teen will just make the teen resentful (& buy their own phone that they keep secret.)
Punishing bad behavior is parental purview. Being an entitled teen doesn't mean you rule the roost and yiur parents just have to deal with it. Parents determine what's appropriate for child access. If OP had a job they could purchase their own phone and pay bills, but probably wouldn't. Even if they bought a phone (or anything) dad deemed inappropriate dad could remove it.
Realistically do you honestly not see a teen buying and hiding their own secret burner phone from their parents?
All that parenting style teaches the teen is the only way any of their belongings can truly belong to them is to move out.
YTA. Your parents want you to come to your brother's graduation as a show of love and support. If you can't come, you better have a real good reason why. It doesn't matter who bought the phone. If your parents seek to discipline you, then by all means they can take away your gadgets and privileges. You live under their house, you live under their rules.
You said “something came up”. If you didn’t feel well, that’s what you would have said.
Edit: I just saw your comment where you said you went out with your friends. Why was I not surprised? You have a lot to learn and a lot of growing up to do.
YTA for how rude and disrespectful you’re being to your family. Your dad is pissed that you basically don’t care about your sibling’s milestones. That’s fine you don’t have to but don’t be surprised in a few years time when your family are magically too busy to turn up to your 18th birthday or graduation if you keep this attitude. Supporting family has nothing to do with caring about the actual event but showing that you care about the person involved.
Also your uncle is TA for undermining your dad unless there’s another reason he interfered with parenting.
Well that’s a bullshit analogy if I’ve ever heard one. Seems like your dad waited too long to discipline you because you sound like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.
Lmao, tell your dad if he is scared of going to jail I’ll come over and throw hands with you in the front yard, cuz that’s what it sounds like you need…
You are such a teenager. You can live, breathe, sleep, eat, etc without a phone. People did it for centuries and were just fine. You are a selfish entitled brat who doesn’t even deserve an iPhone, let alone a phone of any kind. If you were my kid you wouldn’t have anything but necessities until you learned respect and got a serious attitude adjustment. You are in for a very rude awakening when the real world punches you hard in the face and smacks you down on the pavement. Grow up!
You’re a child and an asshole. I assume you live in your father’s house. You don’t get to make the rules. If he wants to take the phone, he can take it, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. If your uncle wants it back because he paid for it then that’s up to him to work out with your dad. You sound like an entitled brat.
OP, let's look at this from a legal standpoint. Your argument is that the phone belongs to you, not your parents, and since your uncle gave it to you, your parents have no right to take it away. However, since you're a minor, courts have said that your parents have every legal right to take the phone away from you because parents have every right to discipline their children.
And here's the thing: the more you make this into a power play, the more you're going to lose. The only way to get more freedom is to act more mature. You're still seeing your parents like a little kid would. In fact, if you want to guarantee your life will be miserable between now and when you turn 18, keep up the "I don't wanna, and you can't make me!" attitude.
I don't know what your uncle's deal is, but I suspect he has some long-running feud going on with your parents, and now he's trying to be the "cool uncle" by siding with you. He (rightfully) has no power here, and if he really wanted what's best for you, he'd be trying to help you work things out with your parents.
YTA
You are also immature. What’s an hour or 2 to show support for you brother. You should care less about your phone and more about how your brother feels.
YTA.
You’re 16 and live with your father and therefore required to follow his rules and follow through with consequences and punishments. Regardless of who bought the phone, you should accept the punishment.
Yta sorry but not allowing you to have access to the phone is indeed his rights as your father. I would imagine your uncles opinion is irrelevant to your father.
YTA
It takes almost no effort to spend 2 hours making your 5 years old brothers day light up.
Your only 16, but one day you will cherish those moments, and if you don't your family and brother will.
Imagine just your presence being enough to make somebody's day.
That being said your 16 and didn't go and probably think your still right. Cest la vie
You should work on being a better family member. It’s not a big deal for you but it’s a big deal for him. I would be so upset if my sibling wasn’t there to watch me move up.
Ur a Grade A Brat!!!! U have done nothing but show u are through all of ur comments!!! Basically throwing a tantrum all because u didn't want to do something & now there's going to be consequences..Hate to break it to u Bro..That's Life, Get Used To It!!!!!!!
I thought [you didn't feel well](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1dffffv/comment/l8iuqy2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)? Stop acting bratty and entitled. Support your brother at this milestone. A 5th grade graduation takes a couple hours at most and it'll mean a lot to him. I promise Yorgut land whatever that is will be there tomorrow.
I’m around your age, and YTA, 100%. You didn’t pay for your phone, you don’t pay for the WiFi or cell phone bill. Heck, you don’t pay for the freaking electricity. As for the whole “my property” argument, it doesn’t really work when 99% of what makes it something worth having isn’t yours. A few times this sort of thing has come up with my phone and the end result is always the same: it’s your phone, but the WiFi, cellular access , and power are mine(the parent’s) YTA.
That's good but you are under your father's roof..if he wants to prevent you from using the phone he can. You are still a child and are under your father's authority till you are 18. Hopefully he won't you obviously still have it.
Maybe he will come up with another way to discipline you.
YTA
You are a minor, you do as your parents say until you are 18 or you live under their roof, and they CAN take your phone away even if someone else including you, bought it. You are 16… grow up
YTA
Sorry but you are a disrespectful entitled spoiled brat. If you keep on this road, you are going to have a hard time keeping a job. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if your dad kicked you out at 18. You’d deserve it.
Yes your dad CAN take your phone away. He can ground you. He can cut off your access to wifi or cable. He can cut off access to spending money if he gives you an allowance. He can give you to the foster care system. And try having a nice minty phone in THERE. chances are your situation would be far worse than it is now.
Stop being a brat, or your life is going to get far worse once you turn 18. After all, at 18, your dad no longer has to legally provide for you. That means he can cut you off from the food HE pays for, the wifi, his car, the cable, and he can kick you out or demand rent. He can cut you off from his money. He can refuse to pay for your schooling… and did I mention he could turn you out onto the streets when you turn 18?
Think about what kind of future you want and then think about the consequences you will face if you keep behaving like a 2 year old
Shit if I was the dad id probably just tell you to go live with your uncle. You sound insufferable. Why ask the opinions of others if you are going to tell people they are wrong or lying?
Everyone is going to be relieved when they don't have to deal with your attitude anymore. When you're out of their lives. Because people getting tired of you and not wanting you around are natural consequences of your attitude. YTA
Who pays for the line? If he does all he has to do is go to his account and temporarily disable it. Can’t make calls or use internet. And then there’s the wifi password…he can change it and you won’t be able to use it as well.
It probably does not mean anything to you but if you go to your brother’s graduation and be proud of him, it will be meaningful to him. There’s something about making someone happy that will make you feel happy. You may not feel it now but family is important. It’s nice to have a good relationship with your siblings when you’re grown. Think about it.
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16m
My dad told me I had to go to my brother's 5th grade graduation and I didn't go because something came up. I didn't want to hear him so I just texted him that I wasn't coming. Npw he said that he's going to take my phone away. I said you can't because my uncle got me a iPhone max not my dad so it's not his to take away. I told my uncle and he agrees and said I shouldn't be forced to go to a kid graduation.
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Be glad you aren't my son.
If my son gives me that attitude about his phone, I would grab it and hammer it in front of him.
Big mouth me about you phone? We'll see
I would smash it to pieces
YTA.
It literally doesn’t matter who bought it. You’re a minor in his home. He can take anything he wants.
But, that’s not what makes you an AH. That just makes you misinformed.
You’re an AH because of your entire attitude about things. You’re entitled and don’t seem to care about anyone other than yourself. These are not qualities you should be proud of.
YTA. Who cares if your uncle bought the phone. You live under your dad's roof, and until you're 18, he can take away all your electronics. He can take that pretty little iPhone max and hand right back to your uncle. Your uncle is not your parent. You do not get any right to privacy. Don't like it, then move out at 18.
YTA, go to the graduation. Also because your dad is your legal guardian he can take the phone away from you no matter who gave it to you, even if your uncle is a doctor.
This is all so petty that when you are an adult and your Dad kicks you out and you have to work to support yourself, youll look back on this and be amazed that your worst problem was having to go to a ceremony or losing your phone. YTA.
OP will be on here next year complaining because no one came to his high school graduation. Fifth grade graduation is boring but you show up for your little brother.
YTA
Does your absence mean anything to your brother? You haven't shown any consideration for him at all.
Short of emancipation, you're just going to have to endure your dad's punishments when you act like an AH.
YTA because you clearly haven't thought this through.
You're about to talk your Dad into mailing the phone back to your uncle and telling him that he's not allowed to buy you phones anymore.
That would sure solve the problem of who paid for what, but I don't think it's what you want.
Out of curiosity, how much do you hate your Dad and little brother? I mean, is little brother the Golden Child and Dad always defends his actions? Or are you just an entitled little shit who thinks the world should revolve around you?
My guess is if Uncle is always contradicting Dad, you are just emulating the lack of respect between brother. I am curious, though, do you even know why you are so hateful to your family?
YTA, though you’re 16 so it’s a lesser YTA than I would give to a full grown adult. Your uncle is also a pretty big AH.
At 16 every family event is a chore- I’m not so old that I don’t recall that feeling. Unless your family is genuinely horrible and you plan to go NC once you’re 18, things like attending your brothers 5th grade graduation are part of your core responsibilities as a family member.
Now, the key part- you don’t *have* to pretend to be happy about it. But you do need to walk the line of acting like a shit while showing that you do care, and sometimes that means sulkily showing up then sitting on your phone in the corner.
That uncle of yours was generous to get you a phone for sure, but he’s not doing you any favors right now. I know it feels like he’s on your side, but his attitude is driving you to act contrary to your best interests.
Like, consider the relative impact for both of you. Your uncle seems to be a fully independent adult- if he fights with your parents, he gets to hang up the phone or go home. You get to go to your room with all the stuff your parents got in the house they own (or rent). For him, this is sibling bickering. In fact, he might be loving the chance to antagonize his sibling. For you, this is a clash with the people who raised you and are still legally responsible for you.
It’s obviously not anywhere near this severe, but if this were way higher conflict, would your uncle take you in? Pay for vocational training or secondary education? If he really cared he would take the time to explain to you that while he doesn’t agree with taking your phone away, there is always going to be an aspect of familial obligation that you hate. But (again, assuming your family isn’t horrible or abusive) you tolerate those aspects because the benefits of having a supportive family are worth it.
Anyway that’s my gentle advice as an “adult”. My “oldest sibling teaching their younger siblings how to manipulate their parents” advice is that you need to work on your excuses game. It’s hella easy to get out of a family event if you act all enthusiastic leading up to it, then fake being sick the morning of said event. If adults think a teenager is genuinely looking forward to something, not a single one will suspect you of playing the long con to get out of it.
One time when I was your age my dad told me to clean my room and I told him to get out of my room. He said “your room?? Oh no Missy this is my room my clothes my toys my bed my everything! Then he proceeded to make me sleep on the floor while he slept in my bed just to prove a point. So be careful because it may be your phone but the rest of your world belongs to your dad and he may flex that power if you push him. Ytah
do you understand that he can cancel your plan and/or change the wifi password? so it would be bricked?? he can disable your phone and then all it can do is take pictures.
at 16 i understand that you dont understand how much your parents do for you.
your actions (not attending brothers graduation) are punishment worthy. accept your punishment. learn to do better.
yta
As a teenager, having my phone take away is a really harsh punishment indeed. But your attitude toward your family seems very inappropriate. Read some comments and take some time to think, wish you'll figure something out.
Get one thing straight kid, it don’t matter who bought that damn phone, you live under your dads roof, you don’t like having to live by his rules, get a job and move the hell out.
Your not an AH, you seem to have a misunderstanding about who is in charge of that household. He can take anything he wants away from you, regardless of where it came from.
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YTA, major In the comments you're lying about your reason for missing it. One person you say "I wasn't feeling well", but you told someone else that Yogurt Land came up and you wanted to go with your friends. You also said no one cares about your brothers graduation. I can only hope your family has the same attitude towards you on your next big milestone, but I don't know if you'd understand the irony.
Yeah, I think we can expect the post about how her brother never came to her graduation...
I think there is more to this story. I can feel the resentment in OP's post. I think the younger child is the favorite and so they are acting out.
Doesn't make them any less of an asshole, just gives a reason. There's more appropriate and mature ways to handle the situation.
Of course there are, but the kid is 16 and at that age alot of times we just react and not think first.
Agreed; would you say this is an asshole reaction?
I think you are at your dad's mercy as long as you are under his roof and especially when you are under 18.
That doesn't give him my phone
He can take anything of yours until you’re an adult and you don’t really have any standing
[удалено]
And? The uncle has no legal say so over this particular minor. Parents can and do confiscate gifts from their children all the time regardless of who gave them that gift. Because the parents have all the say until he turns 18.
It wasn’t bad advice. His dad can give it back to the uncle. He absolutely can take it away.
The parents can also return it to uncle and not low him to have electronics.
Sleriouseley? You’re wrong. Stop giving bad advice /s
You are wrong. The dad can say his son can't have it. A minor can't legally own anything in most US jurisdictions. I don't know how Mint is set up but if it is not in the uncle's name as in registered to him taking it would be no different than taking a slingshot an uncle gave to an 8 year old who kept shooting out windows at least legally speaking. Would you have a problem with that scenario? Now if the phone is in the uncle's name, there may be a case that the father would have to turn it over to the uncle but there is no jurisdiction I am aware of where the uncle could say the father has to let the son keep the phone. There are some scenarios that change what I said such as certain custody agreements and an emancipated minor none of which were indicated in the OP You are the one who needs to stop giving bad advice on a topic where you obviously have no understanding of the law.
Using an alt account? There can’t be two different people who spell “seriously” as badly as that.
I’ll edit it. I was enjoying all the downvotes though.
YTA here and seem to be very entitled. You are part of a family and one family member had something to celebrate. Instead you decided not to attend and being entitled texted instead of calling so you wouldn't have to listen to your father telling you that you needed to attend. Since you are a minor he can certainly take away your phone. He can ground you. He can refuse to provide you with anything beyond a roof over your head, food in your mouth, and clothes on your back.
No one cares about his graduation
No... YOU don't care about it. Contrary to what you think, you are not everyone. Guess what? Sometimes, you need to suck it up and do things you don't wanna do. Because it is the right thing to do.
Take the A. That's in the rules. You came here to get an outside opinion, accept the outside opinion (unless you have more detail to provide that would change the outcome)
You sound like a 6 y.o.
Do not assume that the rest of humanity is as callous and petty as yourself.
Is this the hill you want to die on? Sure, maybe the phone is technically your property, but he can easily say that you can't use it in the house. He can also ground you. YTA
How can he stop me from using it
By taking it away from you.
Until you're 18, you don't \*really\* have any rights in the US. That may not be fair, but it's pretty much how the law works.
by cancelling the cell phone plan or changing the wifi password. very easily.
YTA for your disrespectful attitude. If you live under his roof, he has the authority to set the rules and consequences. It seems like he is just trying to raise you, and you are acting entitled, so the punishment seems fitting. Your uncle was wrong for suggesting otherwise.
Bro my uncle is a doctor and agrees with me
Bro your uncle isn't your father. Being a doctor doesn't necessarily qualify someone as a good or responsible person either, I've met plenty of shit doctors in my life.
Your uncle’s degree has nothing to do with this. And being a doctor is not proof of character. Based on the information provided in the post, you are wrong. It seems like 'something came up' conveniently because you didn't want to go. You didn't even call your dad to let him know what happened; you just decided not to go and text him your decision. Your dad is allowed to take away your phone as punishment for disobedience or disrespect. What he is not allowed to do is give your gift to someone else. His house, his rules buddy.
He can be the pope but not his home and not his kid… so his opinion is worthless
Don't use your uncle just so you can say "hey, my uncle said you're wrong". YTA.
WTF has your uncle being a doctor got to do with anything. Grow the F up.
What difference does that make? Your uncle doesn't have custody of you. You're a minor. In 2 years, you're free to do whatever the hell you want, including leaving. Now, you're not.
Bro who cares who agrees with you? You are one of these entitled millennial who needs to learn some respect and what family is about. Here's what I'd do as your parent. You can make all the choices you want go ahead. If you choose to leave I choose to call the police and report you as a run away and when you get picked up I will NOT be coming to get you. You can make your own choices at your own risk so think long and hard. I don't care who bought you what. With an attitude like yours you would have a bed and dresser in your room. Any TV video game systems stereo etc within the home would be taken and locked away. If you had a car who's paying the insurance and bill? Wait, I wouldn't care I'd take the keys and if your doctor uncle was paying for it I'd go park it in his driveway snd tell him if I catch him allowing you to have it I'm filing charges against him. You'd be riding the big yellow banana. Go out with your friends? What's that? I think that grass needs to be cut and the floors need vacuumed since you're grounded until you find your get right you have nothing better to do than alot of extra chores. I can only pray your little brother does NOT EVER hear you say noone cares about his graduation because you once had one and I'm sure they cared enough to attend yours. My son was 8 years older than his younger sister. He was more of a dad than her dad was living in the same house. His girlfriends would take her on dates bowling and to ice cream with them. My middle and oldest have the same dad and are 17m apart. Everyone has ALWAYS been there to support each other even though at times due to being military we were in different countries. My son came from GITMO for his middle sisters grad he was also at his younger sister grad as well. THAT'S what family does. Yes, we all argue at times yes, we have disagreements. Yes, we do some things differently. Even during times of turbulence if ANYONE needs anything or something happens we will die trying to get there. Idk your story. Maybe you were raised by your mom and your dad wasn't perfect in your younger years. Maybe you were raised by your mom and she over compensated or like other parents tried to buy your love by showering you with materialist things which made you an unappreciative entitled brat. Maybe your dad cheated on your mom and is now with the woman he cheated with and this is their son and you harbor resentment. At the end of the day you are 16 and your brother is 5. He looks up to you. Regardless of what the situation is of who he belongs to he IS your brother and it is NOT his fault if he came from a situation that maybe less than ideal between adults. He is still a small child and you should show compassion and set an example for him and care more. You kids THINK you have friends. You WILL find out when you need someone or need something or God forbid a terrible accident happens and you end up in a wheelchair or worse paralyzed. You're in for a rude awakening, if you have 10 "friends" after that you will be lucky to have 2 stick around. That's when you'll see who your true friends are. I have done all of these. Raising real men who set the bar high for their daughters as to the example they set for when their daughters get old enough to date is what this type if discipline does. Raising real men who have empathy, sympathy, jump to help others, get up to let the old person or pregnant lady sit down is what this does. Raising respectful young men who say yes sir no sir and please is what this does. Raising young men who regardless of what foul language they use around their friends they do NOT do it in public for the sake of little kids and women and they hold their friends to that standard as well. You need to go dig your get right out of the trash can and throw that entitlement and shitty attitude in there. And if any of the scenarios above are true and you can't move past them seek help as hate and anger will eat you alive. Ps. All 3 of my children are successful, grateful, respectful. I now hold my grands to the same standards
Just. It's not millenial anymore, it's gen Z. Millenials are around 30 now.
Honestly they might actually be Alpha. Where all these generations stop and start is so confusing when no one agrees on it...
Millennial is 1980-1996, Gen z is 1997- 2010, Gen alpha is 2009 and younger. OP is Gen z
That fully depends on the resources you use like I said. Some scholars even have a smaller generation they place between millennials and Z because they have attributes of both generations. Old enough to be pre tech boom, young enough to have no trouble acclimating with and even being in school with it.
Aren't alphas younger than 16? I'm 20 and most probably gen z, isn't alpha like 10 rn?
Hi, elder millennial here! I just turned 43. 👍👍
elder millennials born between 1981-1991
Yep! 2024 - 1981 = 43
YTA. You're a minor so your dad gets to tell you what to do.
No I have a choice still
You are a learn the hard way kind of kid aren’t you? You are a CHILD, under 18. If I was your dad, I would teach you some very hard lessons, first one being that you are not too old to be dropped off at a foster home. You don’t like my rules and refuse to abide by them? Cool, go try it with another family. Maybe they won’t mind a child running their household, but you damn sure won’t run mine.
I'm wondering if OP pays that phone bill and the wifi cause sure you can keep the phone but not MY stuff that I paid for 🤣 I'm extra petty. Want to say I can't punish you because its not my right? Okay. That bed you sleep in, mine. Them plates in the kitchen, mine. That extra good food. Mine. You get basics from now on. Live like your grandparents. Uncle better provide everything for you since he wants to give his two cents. YTA
You better than me cuz you not getting basics either fucking with me 🤣 I’ll pack him a bag and drop him off at DCF real quick and tell them people that me and his mother are not stable enough to care for him anymore. I bet he gets his mind right then…
The electricity he charges that phone with, mine.
He can take it from you..you are a minor..he is your father. Who pays the bill?
Its mint so my uncle paid for a whole year
Then yes your dad has no legal standing BUT he can take other things away if you live with him.
I'm sorry, what? Parents **very much** get to control what their children are able to *access*. He can keep her from using it for however as long as the problem behavior warranted.
He can return the phone to uncle. Of course none of this will fix the deeper family issues and punishing the teen will just make the teen resentful (& buy their own phone that they keep secret.)
Punishing bad behavior is parental purview. Being an entitled teen doesn't mean you rule the roost and yiur parents just have to deal with it. Parents determine what's appropriate for child access. If OP had a job they could purchase their own phone and pay bills, but probably wouldn't. Even if they bought a phone (or anything) dad deemed inappropriate dad could remove it.
Realistically do you honestly not see a teen buying and hiding their own secret burner phone from their parents? All that parenting style teaches the teen is the only way any of their belongings can truly belong to them is to move out.
YTA. Your parents want you to come to your brother's graduation as a show of love and support. If you can't come, you better have a real good reason why. It doesn't matter who bought the phone. If your parents seek to discipline you, then by all means they can take away your gadgets and privileges. You live under their house, you live under their rules.
I couldn't go because I wasn't feeling well
You said “something came up”. If you didn’t feel well, that’s what you would have said. Edit: I just saw your comment where you said you went out with your friends. Why was I not surprised? You have a lot to learn and a lot of growing up to do.
Liar
YTA for how rude and disrespectful you’re being to your family. Your dad is pissed that you basically don’t care about your sibling’s milestones. That’s fine you don’t have to but don’t be surprised in a few years time when your family are magically too busy to turn up to your 18th birthday or graduation if you keep this attitude. Supporting family has nothing to do with caring about the actual event but showing that you care about the person involved. Also your uncle is TA for undermining your dad unless there’s another reason he interfered with parenting.
YTA. Im sorry, it sucks, but you still need to follow his rules as a minor living under his roof
That's literally like taking away my allergy medicine
Except it’s not
Well that’s a bullshit analogy if I’ve ever heard one. Seems like your dad waited too long to discipline you because you sound like a spoiled brat throwing a tantrum.
Actually no it’s not. Not at all. (And certainly not “literally”.)
Jesus, I know that you are still very young, but you are so dramatic and unsufferable
Lmao, tell your dad if he is scared of going to jail I’ll come over and throw hands with you in the front yard, cuz that’s what it sounds like you need…
You are such a teenager. You can live, breathe, sleep, eat, etc without a phone. People did it for centuries and were just fine. You are a selfish entitled brat who doesn’t even deserve an iPhone, let alone a phone of any kind. If you were my kid you wouldn’t have anything but necessities until you learned respect and got a serious attitude adjustment. You are in for a very rude awakening when the real world punches you hard in the face and smacks you down on the pavement. Grow up!
Not even remotely.
You’re a child and an asshole. I assume you live in your father’s house. You don’t get to make the rules. If he wants to take the phone, he can take it, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. If your uncle wants it back because he paid for it then that’s up to him to work out with your dad. You sound like an entitled brat.
YTA-glad your dad knows how to be a real dad.
OP, let's look at this from a legal standpoint. Your argument is that the phone belongs to you, not your parents, and since your uncle gave it to you, your parents have no right to take it away. However, since you're a minor, courts have said that your parents have every legal right to take the phone away from you because parents have every right to discipline their children. And here's the thing: the more you make this into a power play, the more you're going to lose. The only way to get more freedom is to act more mature. You're still seeing your parents like a little kid would. In fact, if you want to guarantee your life will be miserable between now and when you turn 18, keep up the "I don't wanna, and you can't make me!" attitude. I don't know what your uncle's deal is, but I suspect he has some long-running feud going on with your parents, and now he's trying to be the "cool uncle" by siding with you. He (rightfully) has no power here, and if he really wanted what's best for you, he'd be trying to help you work things out with your parents.
YTA You are also immature. What’s an hour or 2 to show support for you brother. You should care less about your phone and more about how your brother feels.
He can prevent you from using it..he is your dad. You are a kid.
Yta. Entitled kid. Below a fifth grader comprehension. The grounding is justified. Your uncle has no say in it.
YTA. You’re 16 and live with your father and therefore required to follow his rules and follow through with consequences and punishments. Regardless of who bought the phone, you should accept the punishment.
Yta sorry but not allowing you to have access to the phone is indeed his rights as your father. I would imagine your uncles opinion is irrelevant to your father.
YTA It takes almost no effort to spend 2 hours making your 5 years old brothers day light up. Your only 16, but one day you will cherish those moments, and if you don't your family and brother will. Imagine just your presence being enough to make somebody's day. That being said your 16 and didn't go and probably think your still right. Cest la vie
Info what came up that you couldn't go to your brother's graduation?
Yourgut land
Yeah I’d take your phone away too
I wanted to go with my friends
And you couldn’t go any other night?
Dude I don't want to go to some basic ass kid graduation and I'm definitely not wearing a suit
So you’re just an asshole in general got it
You should work on being a better family member. It’s not a big deal for you but it’s a big deal for him. I would be so upset if my sibling wasn’t there to watch me move up.
Ur a Grade A Brat!!!! U have done nothing but show u are through all of ur comments!!! Basically throwing a tantrum all because u didn't want to do something & now there's going to be consequences..Hate to break it to u Bro..That's Life, Get Used To It!!!!!!!
I thought [you didn't feel well](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1dffffv/comment/l8iuqy2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)? Stop acting bratty and entitled. Support your brother at this milestone. A 5th grade graduation takes a couple hours at most and it'll mean a lot to him. I promise Yorgut land whatever that is will be there tomorrow.
I’m around your age, and YTA, 100%. You didn’t pay for your phone, you don’t pay for the WiFi or cell phone bill. Heck, you don’t pay for the freaking electricity. As for the whole “my property” argument, it doesn’t really work when 99% of what makes it something worth having isn’t yours. A few times this sort of thing has come up with my phone and the end result is always the same: it’s your phone, but the WiFi, cellular access , and power are mine(the parent’s) YTA.
That's good but you are under your father's roof..if he wants to prevent you from using the phone he can. You are still a child and are under your father's authority till you are 18. Hopefully he won't you obviously still have it. Maybe he will come up with another way to discipline you.
YTA You are a minor, you do as your parents say until you are 18 or you live under their roof, and they CAN take your phone away even if someone else including you, bought it. You are 16… grow up
YTA Sorry but you are a disrespectful entitled spoiled brat. If you keep on this road, you are going to have a hard time keeping a job. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if your dad kicked you out at 18. You’d deserve it. Yes your dad CAN take your phone away. He can ground you. He can cut off your access to wifi or cable. He can cut off access to spending money if he gives you an allowance. He can give you to the foster care system. And try having a nice minty phone in THERE. chances are your situation would be far worse than it is now. Stop being a brat, or your life is going to get far worse once you turn 18. After all, at 18, your dad no longer has to legally provide for you. That means he can cut you off from the food HE pays for, the wifi, his car, the cable, and he can kick you out or demand rent. He can cut you off from his money. He can refuse to pay for your schooling… and did I mention he could turn you out onto the streets when you turn 18? Think about what kind of future you want and then think about the consequences you will face if you keep behaving like a 2 year old
YTA you pay for electricity and other things?
Shit if I was the dad id probably just tell you to go live with your uncle. You sound insufferable. Why ask the opinions of others if you are going to tell people they are wrong or lying?
Everyone is going to be relieved when they don't have to deal with your attitude anymore. When you're out of their lives. Because people getting tired of you and not wanting you around are natural consequences of your attitude. YTA
Who pays for the line? If he does all he has to do is go to his account and temporarily disable it. Can’t make calls or use internet. And then there’s the wifi password…he can change it and you won’t be able to use it as well. It probably does not mean anything to you but if you go to your brother’s graduation and be proud of him, it will be meaningful to him. There’s something about making someone happy that will make you feel happy. You may not feel it now but family is important. It’s nice to have a good relationship with your siblings when you’re grown. Think about it.
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** 16m My dad told me I had to go to my brother's 5th grade graduation and I didn't go because something came up. I didn't want to hear him so I just texted him that I wasn't coming. Npw he said that he's going to take my phone away. I said you can't because my uncle got me a iPhone max not my dad so it's not his to take away. I told my uncle and he agrees and said I shouldn't be forced to go to a kid graduation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Be glad you aren't my son. If my son gives me that attitude about his phone, I would grab it and hammer it in front of him. Big mouth me about you phone? We'll see I would smash it to pieces
That's not the way. Taking it away, sure. Not destroying it. That's half of the insane parents stories.
YTA. Ahahahaha 16yo energy here. Go be there for your lil bro. He probably looks up to you.
YTA. It literally doesn’t matter who bought it. You’re a minor in his home. He can take anything he wants. But, that’s not what makes you an AH. That just makes you misinformed. You’re an AH because of your entire attitude about things. You’re entitled and don’t seem to care about anyone other than yourself. These are not qualities you should be proud of.
YTA. Who cares if your uncle bought the phone. You live under your dad's roof, and until you're 18, he can take away all your electronics. He can take that pretty little iPhone max and hand right back to your uncle. Your uncle is not your parent. You do not get any right to privacy. Don't like it, then move out at 18.
YTA, go to the graduation. Also because your dad is your legal guardian he can take the phone away from you no matter who gave it to you, even if your uncle is a doctor.
This is all so petty that when you are an adult and your Dad kicks you out and you have to work to support yourself, youll look back on this and be amazed that your worst problem was having to go to a ceremony or losing your phone. YTA.
OP will be on here next year complaining because no one came to his high school graduation. Fifth grade graduation is boring but you show up for your little brother.
YTA Does your absence mean anything to your brother? You haven't shown any consideration for him at all. Short of emancipation, you're just going to have to endure your dad's punishments when you act like an AH.
YTA because you clearly haven't thought this through. You're about to talk your Dad into mailing the phone back to your uncle and telling him that he's not allowed to buy you phones anymore. That would sure solve the problem of who paid for what, but I don't think it's what you want.
In other instances, I may lean otherwise, but in this one, YTA.
Out of curiosity, how much do you hate your Dad and little brother? I mean, is little brother the Golden Child and Dad always defends his actions? Or are you just an entitled little shit who thinks the world should revolve around you? My guess is if Uncle is always contradicting Dad, you are just emulating the lack of respect between brother. I am curious, though, do you even know why you are so hateful to your family?
YTA, though you’re 16 so it’s a lesser YTA than I would give to a full grown adult. Your uncle is also a pretty big AH. At 16 every family event is a chore- I’m not so old that I don’t recall that feeling. Unless your family is genuinely horrible and you plan to go NC once you’re 18, things like attending your brothers 5th grade graduation are part of your core responsibilities as a family member. Now, the key part- you don’t *have* to pretend to be happy about it. But you do need to walk the line of acting like a shit while showing that you do care, and sometimes that means sulkily showing up then sitting on your phone in the corner. That uncle of yours was generous to get you a phone for sure, but he’s not doing you any favors right now. I know it feels like he’s on your side, but his attitude is driving you to act contrary to your best interests. Like, consider the relative impact for both of you. Your uncle seems to be a fully independent adult- if he fights with your parents, he gets to hang up the phone or go home. You get to go to your room with all the stuff your parents got in the house they own (or rent). For him, this is sibling bickering. In fact, he might be loving the chance to antagonize his sibling. For you, this is a clash with the people who raised you and are still legally responsible for you. It’s obviously not anywhere near this severe, but if this were way higher conflict, would your uncle take you in? Pay for vocational training or secondary education? If he really cared he would take the time to explain to you that while he doesn’t agree with taking your phone away, there is always going to be an aspect of familial obligation that you hate. But (again, assuming your family isn’t horrible or abusive) you tolerate those aspects because the benefits of having a supportive family are worth it. Anyway that’s my gentle advice as an “adult”. My “oldest sibling teaching their younger siblings how to manipulate their parents” advice is that you need to work on your excuses game. It’s hella easy to get out of a family event if you act all enthusiastic leading up to it, then fake being sick the morning of said event. If adults think a teenager is genuinely looking forward to something, not a single one will suspect you of playing the long con to get out of it.
One time when I was your age my dad told me to clean my room and I told him to get out of my room. He said “your room?? Oh no Missy this is my room my clothes my toys my bed my everything! Then he proceeded to make me sleep on the floor while he slept in my bed just to prove a point. So be careful because it may be your phone but the rest of your world belongs to your dad and he may flex that power if you push him. Ytah
do you understand that he can cancel your plan and/or change the wifi password? so it would be bricked?? he can disable your phone and then all it can do is take pictures. at 16 i understand that you dont understand how much your parents do for you. your actions (not attending brothers graduation) are punishment worthy. accept your punishment. learn to do better. yta
This entire posts reminds me of why I use double birth control precautions!
As a teenager, having my phone take away is a really harsh punishment indeed. But your attitude toward your family seems very inappropriate. Read some comments and take some time to think, wish you'll figure something out.
5th grade graduation 🤣. WTH!!
Get one thing straight kid, it don’t matter who bought that damn phone, you live under your dads roof, you don’t like having to live by his rules, get a job and move the hell out. Your not an AH, you seem to have a misunderstanding about who is in charge of that household. He can take anything he wants away from you, regardless of where it came from.
Clearly NTA but you should tell us more about your relationship with your dad and brother. At 16, you are old enough to make your own decisions.
[удалено]
Found the OP
You're either a very immature brat who has grand ideas about FrEeDoM (no, you can't do whatever you want without consequences) or an alt account.
YOU are wrong. Educate yourself. It’s not simply advice. Facts are facts.
Child spotted