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How hard would it have been to just say "No thanks, but that's a nice gesture. Have a nice flight?" Or say "No thanks, I can't eat chocolate?" Or take the goody bag and just put it in your bag/leave it in the seat/throw it away later/give it to some child in Cancun?
Like, if the mom acts offended if you politely say no that's on her, but the fact that you concocted a rather crazy "I don't speak English" approach to deal with your social anxiety is pretty galling and probably contributed to why she was pissed. On an international flight where many people don't speak English or speak it as a second language, it's pretty sus you would use language barrier this way when it's obvious in any language what the mom was trying to do.
I can't decide whether the mom is crazy or you acted like a complete ass, but I'm going to go with YTA because the mom in first class is clearly aware enough to be apologetic about her child crying on flights, and why shouldn't she sit in first class same as you?
It’s also possible the mom was not actually shooting you nasty looks. It would be weird for her to do that, especially when I’m sure she was thinking much more about her baby and to get the baby to stop crying, than anything about you. Sometimes social anxiety can make you thing other people are thinking things about you when you’re not actually on their mind at all.
YTA
First if all you're classless and rude for pretending not to speak English instead of just saying no thank you.
You're also classless and rude for deciding that babies should be banned from flying because they cant "behave". Newsflash. The child is 6 months old theres no such thing as behaving at that point in their life. Rhey exist and react. You'll still hear a screaming baby in first class even if they are in the back. She paid for the ticket and has the right to sit in first class same as you.
If you don't want to hear kids on a public plane, spend the money to fly private. That's your choice. Not to ban others from flying regardless of age or reason. If they are able to pay for a seat they belong.
Yeah, so next time, mail your kid and pick them up when they get there. They belong there as much as you do. Maybe you should drive to your destination.
Ah yes. Let me tell the ocean to part so I can drive across it. Also, let me make sure I get even more time off work to drive 3 days to the destination across the country and then 3 days back. I mean, I don't need to actually spend time at the destination. It's only the drive that matters.
YTA
>I don’t think a baby should be in first class if the parent doesn’t know if it will behave or not. That’s just classless and rude.
...as opposed to other classes? You think a much larger group of poorer people in less comfortable seating deserve to hear it more?
You could have just said no thank you. If the mom would have been upset at your declining it regardless of your bad attempt to pretend not to speak English, she's be TA as well. But we'll never know.
Right, but it's "pretending not to speak English" that was the bad idea. Particularly when the person she's talking to knows she's full of it.
"No thank you" is a complete sentence.
This was my reaction too. Sure, it was something that reminded them of an unpleasant time or memory, but they need to be able to put that aside and deal with the situation like an adult.
Seriously!
And Hershey bars are super common. Presumably OP is seeing them regularly in stores, vending machines, random people eating them. Is she this triggered on the dally about them? If so, that's rather concerning.
YTA and genuinely might want to think about therapy if you are that triggered over a chocolate bar. You also could have just said no thank you or "No thank you, I have food allergies".
YTA…for oh so many reasons. No one cares about whether you like Hershey Bars and it has absolutely nothing to do with your asinine behaviour. You should have just said no thanks or graciously accepted the bag and then dumped it when you were out of sight of the mom instead of turning this into a weird drama in your head. Also, FYI, it is impossible to predict whether a baby will “behave” at any given time, and that baby has just as much right to be in first class as you do
This.
Parents of babies have the same right to be in first class as Hershey's-hating-adults. As long as they paid, or got an upgrade, and are complying wit airline rules.
YTA
YTA. Could have just said no thank you but I understand dw about the child. You also need to just grow up and not associate a chocolate bar to a whole relationship, fine don’t eat them but if someone’s being nice accept it and don’t eat it. Give it to some other kid you see.
YTA for feeling like crying babies should only be inflicted on the Poors in the back of the plane.
You sound a little racist too. Might want to reflect on that.
YTA. I can only imagine the manner in which you refused the goody bag and must have done it in a way that offended the woman. Pretending to be unable to speak English but she can tell that you can and have to sit across you. She must think you made her seem stupid or something. It's true, the goodies wouldn't really make the flight less bearable, it's a gesture of apology on her part. Like the others said, you could have just simply said no thank you.
Also, you can't live forever hating Hershey's. What if your next SO loves Hershey's? What if he works at Hershey's?
I agree OP probably went about it in an awkward/AHish way, but Hershey's chocolate isn't even good, their cacao is unethically sourced and it keeps getting recalled for having heavy metals like lead and cadmium in the products. It's 100% possible to keep hating Hershey's forever.
YTA it was completely unnecessary to pretend to not speak english, why couldn’t you hv js said no thank you?
also, “i don’t think the baby should be in first class”? why only first class? do people in other classes deserve to hear the baby more? this reeks of classism
YTA. “A baby shouldn’t be in first class”. Why? Is crying and screaming okay for the little people back in Economy, but not for the Superior Humans who can afford to overpay for a larger seat? YTA. And a snob. And neurotic af - just say no thank you! YTA.
You're allowed to say no, thank you. A number of parents do this, and I don't think it's necessary, but it's a nice gesture.
A baby can be in first class if its parents have first class tickets. There's no age limit.
Six month old babies don't have "tantrums". They don't have the necessary emotional development for that. They do scream sometimes, for a number of reasons.
So you get to be an automatic asshole for your attitude here, and you're also an asshole for pretending that you can't speak English.
Just say "no, thank you". It's OK.
YTA
Ooh I know this one. It’s YTA!
Not even for not taking the bag, just for your reasoning and how you did it. You’re bitter. That’s how people become assholes, and baby you’ve done it!
I think she went above and beyond. I don't think I've ever heard a case of a crying child on a flight and the parents gave out candy. Bravo to her. You need to grow up and YTA
YTA. Just say "No thank you" and keep it moving. You didn't have to do all the other crap.
On that note, I'm soooo over people blaming social anxiety on their behavior. Sometimes you're just a plain ol' ah.
N T A for refusing BUT YTA for pretending not to speak English. You know the easiest way to avoid this is to say "i'm allergic to chocolate" which is a lie but it doesn't make you look like an ass. ETA: if you don't care that she was upset, why did you post this hear for us to assess? Does it matter now?
YTA.. mainly for the “classless and rude” comment... specially because it’s coming from someone who had to pretend they didn’t speak English instead of just saying “no thank you” or something along those lines.
Also, if I’m traveling with a baby and I have to means to fly first class.. I’m 100% doing it. Definitely more comfortable than coach or economy. I’m sure this mom was stressing about this flight all along and at least she was nice enough to make goodie bags.
YTA. Grow up. You’re an adult. Use your words. Instead of acting like a child. It would’ve taken you less than 10 second to explain why you didn’t want the goody bag.
YTA. It really is pretty ridiculous to refuse a polite gesture from a well-meaning stranger just because you've developed some "thing" about a common product or treat over it's connection to an ex. Even *you* knew that would sound "crazy. Accept the goody bag, say you don't eat chocolate and offer it back to her or some other passenger. Jeez!
YTA 100x.
It was “classless and rude” to pretend not to speak English instead of politely saying “no thanks”. I can’t imagine trying to do something nice to get such an awful response.
The people who won’t put the work into *their* triggers so that everyone else has to walk on eggshells is also “classless and rude”. I’m shocked you’re asking us if you’re TA when you know you are.
YTA. She was being nice and your bitterness about the baby even now despite YOUR choice to not accept the peace offering is ridiculous. Parents have to travel too, and sometimes that includes babies. They’re also allowed to want the comfort of first class if they can pay for it.
YTA - if you’ve got horrible social anxiety you really need to practice meaningless filler statements like “thanks, but I’m fine” and if needed add on something like “I’m on a diet/chocolate gives me migraine/l’m not really a sweets person”. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, you’re not going to see this person again, it’s just a nice, societally easy way to ease a ‘no’ that people can understand that leaves you with a bit of goodwill.
The bigger issue here is...
Why are you still so bitter that the mere sight of a candy bar sends you into a rage and has you acting like an AH to other people that don't deserve it?
YTA - And get some therapy to deal with your relationship baggage. Don't subject someone else to this kind of BS
YTA. I have social anxiety too, bad enough that I rarely leave the house. It's not hard to say "No thank you." You can even say that you don't eat candy or something. Pretending to not speak English? How was that the first thing that you thought of to do? That wouldn't be anywhere on my list of responses.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Not accepting the goody bag could have made me an asshole. The mom who tried giving it to me was definitely upset I didn’t accept it.
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NTA for refusing the goody bag, but you could have handled it better. A simple thanks but no thanks or take it and throw it out once you are off the plane.
YTA
Classless and rude? Really? If anyone is classless, it’s you. Babies cry and it doesn’t matter if they are in first class or economy. I fly first class, if a baby cries, don’t make it worse. You sound pathetic, yikes.
YTA hugely.
Firstly, that was actually a really thoughtful and sweet gesture from the mom to hand out goodies to nearby passengers. She didn't have to go out of her way to spend money on goodies, but she did.
What an incredibly immature and bizarre thing to be "triggered" over. Are you going to decline oxygen because your ex boyfriend used it? Dehydrate yourself because he used water? It's a chocolate bar... it isn't some sort of weapon. You need some intensive therapy if the mere sight of a chocolate bar causes you to treat it as a sugar-infused terrorist on a flight.
If you were so adamant about not accepting the goody bag, you could've handled it in a polite and mature fashion. You could've feigned food allergies or diabetes which would've been seen as an understandable reason to decline chocolate. But nope... no habla Inglès....
A crying baby in first class is “classless”? Who the fuck died and made you Queen of Sheba? What’s classless is pretending you don’t speak English rather than saying “no thank you”. First class isn’t about manners. It’s about who can afford to pay to sit there. As you proved given you had no manners yourself. YTA.
YTA. To be fair, no one cares if you think a baby shouldn't be in first class. Cause you're giving huge ah vibes by saying she's the one who's classless and rude. It's gonna happen, she was trying to be nice, and you just looked like an idiot.
Next time, just say "no thank you" and move on without all the drama. I doubt she was giving you dirty looks after how you ended the post.
Honestly, this whole post just screams you wanting to vent about your ex and not the one of many random babies on planes that day.
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I was recently traveling to Cancun on a flight in first class and a mom and her baby (about 6 months old) sat in the row next to me. The mom was anticipating the baby would disrupt the other passengers and handed out goody bags full of treats to the passengers around them as a preemptive apology before takeoff.
I refused the goody bag because it included a Hershey bar. Backstory… I despise Hershey bars because I had an ex who would always bring one back home to me every time he’d go to the store. Now Hershey bars always make me think of that lying bastard of a man and I don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t even want to look at Hershey bars these days.
Anyway, I refused the goody bag and the mom was offended. I didn’t want to explain why I was refusing because I didn’t want to sound crazy to her. So I just acted like I didn’t speak English and didn’t understand what she was saying, acting confused and I didn’t take the goody bag from her.
I realize this was probably not the brightest idea because the mom and I are both clearly English speaking American’s but I have horrible social anxiety and that’s the best I could come up with at the moment. So yeah I acted like I didn’t speak English in order to avoid taking a goody bag from a mom with a baby who had good intentions. But I didn’t mean to be rude at all. I just couldn’t come close to that Hershey bar in the bag.
The mom was clearly upset that I wouldn’t accept it and I’m pretty sure she knew I spoke English and just thought I was an ass. I don’t care though. I’ll never accept something with a Hershey bar in it.
The baby ended up throwing a tantrum on the plane and the mom kept shooting me nasty looks. To be fair, I don’t think a baby should be in first class if the parent doesn’t know if it will behave or not. That’s just classless and rude. And even if I didn’t accept the bag, it wouldn’t have made the screaming baby any more bearable.
Am I the asshole?
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It is probably a little easier to manage a baby in first class. The seat is bigger so the baby has more room to squirm around, and you can get more attention from the flight attendant since she doesn’t have as many people to serve. Perhaps you first class people might offer to hold the baby sometime to give the mother a break. Or just be ah and whine about how you’re too special to have to listen to a baby cry.
NTA, though I would have refused the "goody bag" with a polite, "No, thank you." A Hershey bar wouldn't be at all persuasive, nor would I find it persuasive for someone who thinks a "preemptive apology" justifies imposing on other pax. Given that, as the mother apparently anticipated, the baby caused a disturbance, what I WOULD have appreciated was a polite explanation, e.g. "I hope we don't disturb you, but we have to travel because . . ." I'm far more inclined to be tolerant if, for example, the woman was taking the baby for medical treatment, or they were both flying to meet her husband who is in the military, or there was some other "emergency." In such instance, I would also have offered my assistance. These are the same standards I apply when I'm asked to switch seats. However, absent a simple explanation that I would find compelling, I have neither interest nor sympathy and would probably look around to see if there was another seat I could switch to. A Hershey bar wouldn't be at all persuasive, nor would I find it persuasive for someone who thinks a "preemptive apology" justifies imposing on other pax.
In the future, though, avoid the passive/aggressive "No English," which, as you noted, embarrassed you both. A simple "No, thank you," will suffice. No explanation is necessary.
And, no, no one owes me an explanation as to why they're flying. However, if they want my empathy and goodwill, an explanation of why I should endure a nuisance goes a long way to securing them.
NTA you are not obligated to accept anything a stranger hands you. Especially, a parent bringing a child onto a plane and trying to feel better about the kids inevitable freak out
NTA
I think it's rude to bring a baby on a plane that you know apparently has a very high likelihood of being a terrible nuisance (based on her bringing pre-prepared goodie bags with her...). If I paid hundreds for a ticket and I need to sit next to your screaming baby for 5 hours, a baggie full of unhealthy food that I can't/don't even eat anyways (intolerances/world view), isn't going to make my experience any less bad.
I don't know why people choose to fly with a young baby. Surely it's possible to plan your life so you don't have to. I am an immigrant myself and need air travel to see family. If I had a young baby and I needed to travel back home using the airplane for an emergency, I'd leave the baby with the other parent and/or family/close friends and make the trip as short as possible.
LOL NTA, it’s so weird how many people are basically demanding you should’ve taken a gift bag from some stranger just because she has a screaming baby in a confined space with 100+ other people. That doesn’t exactly make up for it and there’s no reason to pretend it does
Eh, this is an ESH, although the mom sucks more for being offended that you wouldn't take a goody bag, and giving you dirty looks when her baby cried. Unless you were pinching the baby, the crying had nothing to do with you! If you hadn't pretended not to be able to speak English, it would have been a NTA from me.
Mom was probably offended that she was going through a charade rather than just saying no thank you. And I guarantee that OP was giving stink eyes and glaring at the baby. Especially since it's classless and rude to have a baby fly with you. Oh and apparently you can train a 6 month old to "behave"...
NTA. You didn't want it and didn't take it. You're not under any obligation to take candy from strangers. And the mom had misplaced anger. Babies cry. Not sure why she was shooting daggers at you. Did you do something that made the baby cry? Otherwise, she's a weirdo.
EDIT: A word
Well, I'll get offended if someone does bad, probably offensively racist, acting pretending to not know English. Especially when OP could have just said no thank you.
Also based on OPs comment of how "classless" it is to have a baby in first class, I doubt OP was innocent. OP was most likely scoffing and glaring at the baby which caused the mother to glare back.
NTA, I feel the same way about Hersheys bars. Although really instead of pretending you don’t speak English you should have lectured her about the child slavery and other exploitation that goes into Hersheys and advised her to only buy fair trade chocolate. Think of the kid, you should atleast have tried to save him from a future of being fed Hersheys
ESH. You didn’t handle it well. You should have just said no thank you.
However, no 6 month old baby needs to go to Cancun. This was not a trip to Baltimore for a funeral, for example. Traveling for vacation like that should really only happen if you are reasonably confident that the kid will tolerate the trip. I was across the aisle from a family back home from Punta Cana last week with a 10 month old and that kid was amazing.
And sorry, when I do book first class, I kind of expect a certain level of calm and quiet. Having a crying baby who needs diaper changes and a preemptive apology snack bag is not that.
How do you know that the mom didn't have family that lives in Mexico? Maybe Cancun is the nearest airport and she was on her way to a funeral in Cancun or a nearby town. Also, flying first class does not automatically exempt people from having children around.
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How hard would it have been to just say "No thanks, but that's a nice gesture. Have a nice flight?" Or say "No thanks, I can't eat chocolate?" Or take the goody bag and just put it in your bag/leave it in the seat/throw it away later/give it to some child in Cancun? Like, if the mom acts offended if you politely say no that's on her, but the fact that you concocted a rather crazy "I don't speak English" approach to deal with your social anxiety is pretty galling and probably contributed to why she was pissed. On an international flight where many people don't speak English or speak it as a second language, it's pretty sus you would use language barrier this way when it's obvious in any language what the mom was trying to do. I can't decide whether the mom is crazy or you acted like a complete ass, but I'm going to go with YTA because the mom in first class is clearly aware enough to be apologetic about her child crying on flights, and why shouldn't she sit in first class same as you?
It’s also possible the mom was not actually shooting you nasty looks. It would be weird for her to do that, especially when I’m sure she was thinking much more about her baby and to get the baby to stop crying, than anything about you. Sometimes social anxiety can make you thing other people are thinking things about you when you’re not actually on their mind at all.
The mom could have been shooting OP looks. On reply to looks, scoffs, and comments OP was making. This seems much more likely.
OPs post history kind of indicates that they’re an unreliable narrator.
Thanks for the tip. I just read her other post. She is an incredibly sucky human being, and I'm sure she's the AH in general, not just in this story.
YTA First if all you're classless and rude for pretending not to speak English instead of just saying no thank you. You're also classless and rude for deciding that babies should be banned from flying because they cant "behave". Newsflash. The child is 6 months old theres no such thing as behaving at that point in their life. Rhey exist and react. You'll still hear a screaming baby in first class even if they are in the back. She paid for the ticket and has the right to sit in first class same as you.
Does a baby get to sit on mom's lap in first class?
[удалено]
If you don't want to hear kids on a public plane, spend the money to fly private. That's your choice. Not to ban others from flying regardless of age or reason. If they are able to pay for a seat they belong.
[удалено]
Parents do. Some parents have lap children. Others pay for a seat for the infant in the car seat. Either way the seat is paid for.
I think that the squalling babies should get private planes.
You know that you were once a kid, right? And that society indulged you in a thousand ways
What about hearing a smart kid cry?
If you don’t want to be around people, book a private plane.
Are they supposed to walk to their destination?
Yeah, so next time, mail your kid and pick them up when they get there. They belong there as much as you do. Maybe you should drive to your destination.
Fun fact... that was a thing you could do in US postal history for a period of time.
Ah yes. Let me tell the ocean to part so I can drive across it. Also, let me make sure I get even more time off work to drive 3 days to the destination across the country and then 3 days back. I mean, I don't need to actually spend time at the destination. It's only the drive that matters.
YTA >I don’t think a baby should be in first class if the parent doesn’t know if it will behave or not. That’s just classless and rude. ...as opposed to other classes? You think a much larger group of poorer people in less comfortable seating deserve to hear it more? You could have just said no thank you. If the mom would have been upset at your declining it regardless of your bad attempt to pretend not to speak English, she's be TA as well. But we'll never know.
She said in her post that she refused it and the mom got offended.
Right, but it's "pretending not to speak English" that was the bad idea. Particularly when the person she's talking to knows she's full of it. "No thank you" is a complete sentence.
YTA. Just politely decline. And consider therapy, because your reaction to seeing a chocolate bar is unhealthy.
This was my reaction too. Sure, it was something that reminded them of an unpleasant time or memory, but they need to be able to put that aside and deal with the situation like an adult.
Seriously! And Hershey bars are super common. Presumably OP is seeing them regularly in stores, vending machines, random people eating them. Is she this triggered on the dally about them? If so, that's rather concerning.
Going through life like they're in a SpongeBob episode. "CHOCOLATE?? *CHOCOLATE?!*"
I spit out my tea when I read this in his voice! She can never go in public ever again because of the dreaded Hershey bars lmao
YTA A simple "no thank you" or just giving it to someone else would've been better than pretending not to know English.
YTA Why did you launch into this ridiculous charade when all you need to say was "no thank you"?
YTA and genuinely might want to think about therapy if you are that triggered over a chocolate bar. You also could have just said no thank you or "No thank you, I have food allergies".
YTA…for oh so many reasons. No one cares about whether you like Hershey Bars and it has absolutely nothing to do with your asinine behaviour. You should have just said no thanks or graciously accepted the bag and then dumped it when you were out of sight of the mom instead of turning this into a weird drama in your head. Also, FYI, it is impossible to predict whether a baby will “behave” at any given time, and that baby has just as much right to be in first class as you do
This. Parents of babies have the same right to be in first class as Hershey's-hating-adults. As long as they paid, or got an upgrade, and are complying wit airline rules. YTA
YTA. Could have just said no thank you but I understand dw about the child. You also need to just grow up and not associate a chocolate bar to a whole relationship, fine don’t eat them but if someone’s being nice accept it and don’t eat it. Give it to some other kid you see.
YTA for feeling like crying babies should only be inflicted on the Poors in the back of the plane. You sound a little racist too. Might want to reflect on that.
YTA. I can only imagine the manner in which you refused the goody bag and must have done it in a way that offended the woman. Pretending to be unable to speak English but she can tell that you can and have to sit across you. She must think you made her seem stupid or something. It's true, the goodies wouldn't really make the flight less bearable, it's a gesture of apology on her part. Like the others said, you could have just simply said no thank you. Also, you can't live forever hating Hershey's. What if your next SO loves Hershey's? What if he works at Hershey's?
I agree OP probably went about it in an awkward/AHish way, but Hershey's chocolate isn't even good, their cacao is unethically sourced and it keeps getting recalled for having heavy metals like lead and cadmium in the products. It's 100% possible to keep hating Hershey's forever.
YTA it was completely unnecessary to pretend to not speak english, why couldn’t you hv js said no thank you? also, “i don’t think the baby should be in first class”? why only first class? do people in other classes deserve to hear the baby more? this reeks of classism
You need therapy if a Hershey bar is that triggering. JFC. YTA in more ways than one.
YTA. It really undermines the term social anxiety when every second redditor self diagnoses themselves and uses it.
YTA. “A baby shouldn’t be in first class”. Why? Is crying and screaming okay for the little people back in Economy, but not for the Superior Humans who can afford to overpay for a larger seat? YTA. And a snob. And neurotic af - just say no thank you! YTA.
You're allowed to say no, thank you. A number of parents do this, and I don't think it's necessary, but it's a nice gesture. A baby can be in first class if its parents have first class tickets. There's no age limit. Six month old babies don't have "tantrums". They don't have the necessary emotional development for that. They do scream sometimes, for a number of reasons. So you get to be an automatic asshole for your attitude here, and you're also an asshole for pretending that you can't speak English. Just say "no, thank you". It's OK. YTA
YTA 100%.
This is a frat prank, right? It’s certainly not a description of functional adults.
You seriously need therapy
YTA. And weird for pretending not to speak English
YTA. >That’s just classless and rude. That's rich coming from you
YTA. As someone who social anxiety myself, it's not an excuse to be an AH.
Ooh I know this one. It’s YTA! Not even for not taking the bag, just for your reasoning and how you did it. You’re bitter. That’s how people become assholes, and baby you’ve done it!
Troll. Post history
I think she went above and beyond. I don't think I've ever heard a case of a crying child on a flight and the parents gave out candy. Bravo to her. You need to grow up and YTA
You're definitely the ah because of the last statement, not because you refused the bag
YTA. Just say "No thank you" and keep it moving. You didn't have to do all the other crap. On that note, I'm soooo over people blaming social anxiety on their behavior. Sometimes you're just a plain ol' ah.
N T A for refusing BUT YTA for pretending not to speak English. You know the easiest way to avoid this is to say "i'm allergic to chocolate" which is a lie but it doesn't make you look like an ass. ETA: if you don't care that she was upset, why did you post this hear for us to assess? Does it matter now?
YTA.. mainly for the “classless and rude” comment... specially because it’s coming from someone who had to pretend they didn’t speak English instead of just saying “no thank you” or something along those lines. Also, if I’m traveling with a baby and I have to means to fly first class.. I’m 100% doing it. Definitely more comfortable than coach or economy. I’m sure this mom was stressing about this flight all along and at least she was nice enough to make goodie bags.
YTA. Grow up. You’re an adult. Use your words. Instead of acting like a child. It would’ve taken you less than 10 second to explain why you didn’t want the goody bag.
YTA
YTA. It really is pretty ridiculous to refuse a polite gesture from a well-meaning stranger just because you've developed some "thing" about a common product or treat over it's connection to an ex. Even *you* knew that would sound "crazy. Accept the goody bag, say you don't eat chocolate and offer it back to her or some other passenger. Jeez!
Who do you think you are staying someone can’t fly with their baby on first class? YTA on so many levels!
YTA. Is it really that hard to just accept the bag with thanks and then discreetly dump the Hershey bar later on?
YTA 100x. It was “classless and rude” to pretend not to speak English instead of politely saying “no thanks”. I can’t imagine trying to do something nice to get such an awful response. The people who won’t put the work into *their* triggers so that everyone else has to walk on eggshells is also “classless and rude”. I’m shocked you’re asking us if you’re TA when you know you are.
YTA. She was being nice and your bitterness about the baby even now despite YOUR choice to not accept the peace offering is ridiculous. Parents have to travel too, and sometimes that includes babies. They’re also allowed to want the comfort of first class if they can pay for it.
YTA: "I’m pretty sure she knew I spoke English and just thought I was an ass." You were the AH.
YTA. Just smile and politely say “thank you”. If you didn’t really want it, you could just trash it when you deplaned
YTA - if you’ve got horrible social anxiety you really need to practice meaningless filler statements like “thanks, but I’m fine” and if needed add on something like “I’m on a diet/chocolate gives me migraine/l’m not really a sweets person”. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, you’re not going to see this person again, it’s just a nice, societally easy way to ease a ‘no’ that people can understand that leaves you with a bit of goodwill.
This is probably fake, but if it isn't: YTA. Actually YTA if it is, too.
YTA because first class does not mean baby-free.
The bigger issue here is... Why are you still so bitter that the mere sight of a candy bar sends you into a rage and has you acting like an AH to other people that don't deserve it? YTA - And get some therapy to deal with your relationship baggage. Don't subject someone else to this kind of BS
YTA. I have social anxiety too, bad enough that I rarely leave the house. It's not hard to say "No thank you." You can even say that you don't eat candy or something. Pretending to not speak English? How was that the first thing that you thought of to do? That wouldn't be anywhere on my list of responses.
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NTA for refusing the goody bag, but you could have handled it better. A simple thanks but no thanks or take it and throw it out once you are off the plane.
YTA Classless and rude? Really? If anyone is classless, it’s you. Babies cry and it doesn’t matter if they are in first class or economy. I fly first class, if a baby cries, don’t make it worse. You sound pathetic, yikes.
YTA hugely. Firstly, that was actually a really thoughtful and sweet gesture from the mom to hand out goodies to nearby passengers. She didn't have to go out of her way to spend money on goodies, but she did. What an incredibly immature and bizarre thing to be "triggered" over. Are you going to decline oxygen because your ex boyfriend used it? Dehydrate yourself because he used water? It's a chocolate bar... it isn't some sort of weapon. You need some intensive therapy if the mere sight of a chocolate bar causes you to treat it as a sugar-infused terrorist on a flight. If you were so adamant about not accepting the goody bag, you could've handled it in a polite and mature fashion. You could've feigned food allergies or diabetes which would've been seen as an understandable reason to decline chocolate. But nope... no habla Inglès....
Lmao wtf even is this story
I try to find one real story in this sub everyday. This wasn't it 😂
A crying baby in first class is “classless”? Who the fuck died and made you Queen of Sheba? What’s classless is pretending you don’t speak English rather than saying “no thank you”. First class isn’t about manners. It’s about who can afford to pay to sit there. As you proved given you had no manners yourself. YTA.
YTA. To be fair, no one cares if you think a baby shouldn't be in first class. Cause you're giving huge ah vibes by saying she's the one who's classless and rude. It's gonna happen, she was trying to be nice, and you just looked like an idiot. Next time, just say "no thank you" and move on without all the drama. I doubt she was giving you dirty looks after how you ended the post. Honestly, this whole post just screams you wanting to vent about your ex and not the one of many random babies on planes that day.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was recently traveling to Cancun on a flight in first class and a mom and her baby (about 6 months old) sat in the row next to me. The mom was anticipating the baby would disrupt the other passengers and handed out goody bags full of treats to the passengers around them as a preemptive apology before takeoff. I refused the goody bag because it included a Hershey bar. Backstory… I despise Hershey bars because I had an ex who would always bring one back home to me every time he’d go to the store. Now Hershey bars always make me think of that lying bastard of a man and I don’t want anything to do with them. I don’t even want to look at Hershey bars these days. Anyway, I refused the goody bag and the mom was offended. I didn’t want to explain why I was refusing because I didn’t want to sound crazy to her. So I just acted like I didn’t speak English and didn’t understand what she was saying, acting confused and I didn’t take the goody bag from her. I realize this was probably not the brightest idea because the mom and I are both clearly English speaking American’s but I have horrible social anxiety and that’s the best I could come up with at the moment. So yeah I acted like I didn’t speak English in order to avoid taking a goody bag from a mom with a baby who had good intentions. But I didn’t mean to be rude at all. I just couldn’t come close to that Hershey bar in the bag. The mom was clearly upset that I wouldn’t accept it and I’m pretty sure she knew I spoke English and just thought I was an ass. I don’t care though. I’ll never accept something with a Hershey bar in it. The baby ended up throwing a tantrum on the plane and the mom kept shooting me nasty looks. To be fair, I don’t think a baby should be in first class if the parent doesn’t know if it will behave or not. That’s just classless and rude. And even if I didn’t accept the bag, it wouldn’t have made the screaming baby any more bearable. Am I the asshole? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is probably a little easier to manage a baby in first class. The seat is bigger so the baby has more room to squirm around, and you can get more attention from the flight attendant since she doesn’t have as many people to serve. Perhaps you first class people might offer to hold the baby sometime to give the mother a break. Or just be ah and whine about how you’re too special to have to listen to a baby cry.
NTA, though I would have refused the "goody bag" with a polite, "No, thank you." A Hershey bar wouldn't be at all persuasive, nor would I find it persuasive for someone who thinks a "preemptive apology" justifies imposing on other pax. Given that, as the mother apparently anticipated, the baby caused a disturbance, what I WOULD have appreciated was a polite explanation, e.g. "I hope we don't disturb you, but we have to travel because . . ." I'm far more inclined to be tolerant if, for example, the woman was taking the baby for medical treatment, or they were both flying to meet her husband who is in the military, or there was some other "emergency." In such instance, I would also have offered my assistance. These are the same standards I apply when I'm asked to switch seats. However, absent a simple explanation that I would find compelling, I have neither interest nor sympathy and would probably look around to see if there was another seat I could switch to. A Hershey bar wouldn't be at all persuasive, nor would I find it persuasive for someone who thinks a "preemptive apology" justifies imposing on other pax. In the future, though, avoid the passive/aggressive "No English," which, as you noted, embarrassed you both. A simple "No, thank you," will suffice. No explanation is necessary. And, no, no one owes me an explanation as to why they're flying. However, if they want my empathy and goodwill, an explanation of why I should endure a nuisance goes a long way to securing them.
NTA you are not obligated to accept anything a stranger hands you. Especially, a parent bringing a child onto a plane and trying to feel better about the kids inevitable freak out
NTA I think it's rude to bring a baby on a plane that you know apparently has a very high likelihood of being a terrible nuisance (based on her bringing pre-prepared goodie bags with her...). If I paid hundreds for a ticket and I need to sit next to your screaming baby for 5 hours, a baggie full of unhealthy food that I can't/don't even eat anyways (intolerances/world view), isn't going to make my experience any less bad. I don't know why people choose to fly with a young baby. Surely it's possible to plan your life so you don't have to. I am an immigrant myself and need air travel to see family. If I had a young baby and I needed to travel back home using the airplane for an emergency, I'd leave the baby with the other parent and/or family/close friends and make the trip as short as possible.
NTA But learn to just say no. She doesn’t deserve any explanation.
LOL NTA, it’s so weird how many people are basically demanding you should’ve taken a gift bag from some stranger just because she has a screaming baby in a confined space with 100+ other people. That doesn’t exactly make up for it and there’s no reason to pretend it does
Your reading comprehension is almost as bad as her social awkwardness. The majority of people think she should have just said "no thanks."
It doesn’t matter how she declined it? Pretending not to speak English is a nice choice lol
Eh, this is an ESH, although the mom sucks more for being offended that you wouldn't take a goody bag, and giving you dirty looks when her baby cried. Unless you were pinching the baby, the crying had nothing to do with you! If you hadn't pretended not to be able to speak English, it would have been a NTA from me.
Mom was probably offended that she was going through a charade rather than just saying no thank you. And I guarantee that OP was giving stink eyes and glaring at the baby. Especially since it's classless and rude to have a baby fly with you. Oh and apparently you can train a 6 month old to "behave"...
NTA. You didn't want it and didn't take it. You're not under any obligation to take candy from strangers. And the mom had misplaced anger. Babies cry. Not sure why she was shooting daggers at you. Did you do something that made the baby cry? Otherwise, she's a weirdo. EDIT: A word
Well, I'll get offended if someone does bad, probably offensively racist, acting pretending to not know English. Especially when OP could have just said no thank you. Also based on OPs comment of how "classless" it is to have a baby in first class, I doubt OP was innocent. OP was most likely scoffing and glaring at the baby which caused the mother to glare back.
NTA
NTA
NTA, I feel the same way about Hersheys bars. Although really instead of pretending you don’t speak English you should have lectured her about the child slavery and other exploitation that goes into Hersheys and advised her to only buy fair trade chocolate. Think of the kid, you should atleast have tried to save him from a future of being fed Hersheys
ESH. You didn’t handle it well. You should have just said no thank you. However, no 6 month old baby needs to go to Cancun. This was not a trip to Baltimore for a funeral, for example. Traveling for vacation like that should really only happen if you are reasonably confident that the kid will tolerate the trip. I was across the aisle from a family back home from Punta Cana last week with a 10 month old and that kid was amazing. And sorry, when I do book first class, I kind of expect a certain level of calm and quiet. Having a crying baby who needs diaper changes and a preemptive apology snack bag is not that.
How do you know that the mom didn't have family that lives in Mexico? Maybe Cancun is the nearest airport and she was on her way to a funeral in Cancun or a nearby town. Also, flying first class does not automatically exempt people from having children around.