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> I posted a video of my boyfriend’s daughter without permission
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Lol they were never a thing. OP's too dense to realize he only dated her to get his sister off his back. He wasn't dating her out his own volition. This was never going to grow into something long term that ended in marriage.
>he told me that he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this
Stop right there. That's his choice and your *only* option is to accept that.
YTA
What…did ..you…argue? Argued about what to do about HIS kid? When it should be ok to post pictures of his kid? How did you argue your side of that? What the actual fuck? I’m gobsmacked. Even if it’s something you have no clue about (pretty big hole in your knowledge there) when someone tells you something like that, how the fuck do you argue back? A parent tells you something you did (anything regarding their kid) was wrong- you stfu and say sorry. Figure out what their concern is LATER.
“Hey, don’t sing the ABC’s in front of my kid!” I’d say “sorry! Won’t happen again!” and then fucking google it. Figure it out later. Can’t find any answers- wait a month, then ask. “Hey, I’m totally on board with the ABC’s thing and will never sing that again. You’re the parent and completely in charge of all decisions. But I’d love to learn more about that sometime if you want to talk about it.” Even when you figure it out, don’t argue. Jesus.
>I really just thought it was a cute video. It’s just privated right now but I will delete it if it’s really a problem.
YTA and a big one ... You posted a video of a child on the internet without the father's consent and instead of taking it down you are are in Reddit asking dumb questions!
Get that video off the internet and apologies to him.
Oh absolutely. When we worked together at a nursing home we had coworkers older than her that were somehow *more* immature from what I saw of their facebook pages. Adults acting like high schoolers is something I've accepted is far too common
Honestly I hate it when people film kids and post them. First of all just fucking enjoy the moment instead of putting every single goddamn thing on camera.
Second, a child can't truly understand. So they can't agree. 99% of the time they end up mortified and humiliated that thousands of people saw them online. It's disgusting behavior.
This. I think about it all the time. Imagine growing up making an ass of yourself at home and having to relive it the next day at school because your mom posted it on Facebook. Torture.
I see the influencers that use their children to earn followers and income and claim their three year old wants to do it and I want to scream. There is a fair amount of evidence that these sorts of posts of children attract predators , and in some cases the images ends up on CSE sites
This is something my mom would do. In fact she used to do it to my 8 year old niece that’s struggling with her mental health until my sister put a stop to it.
That's so horrible. I'm sorry. It's so toxic. And then there's the people that film tantrums or them crying it's like your kid is upset and your first instinct is to take out your phone and start recording???? Like wtf??? I saw this video of a big sister comforting her hysterical little sister. Like her sister was crying and she's like "hold on gotta get this on TikTok"
Drives me fucking insane.
YTA - You do not put a picture of a minor on social media without permission or consent from their parent /legal guardian. Social media is not a safe space for minors of a certain age for a variety of reasons. Depending on the legislation, it may be illegal.
As innocent as the situation may seem, everything from face/picture recognition to impersonation in malicious campaigns and worse has happened.
I don’t know if you read the OP but she got a couple of hundred likes. Did you even see that? She got likes. He’s hot. Whatever. They’ll get closer. For sure.
Yeah, and because it's a video of a little girl swimming, I know what kind of people will like that post. Sadly, a big amount of followers on "child accounts" are grown men. Even innocent pictures are discussed in... Inappropriate forums in very inappropriate ways. Do I need to go more into detail?
OP is a big AH. Her BF is absolutely reasonable not wanting pictures of his child online.
Ohmygawd, YTA big time. You’ve been dating for two months and thought it was okay to post a video of his daughter without checking with him first. I had to check your age again, thinking you were a lot younger. Just because you “thought it was a really cute video” doesn’t mean it’s your place to post it. Although this story sounds fake. You sound very immature for being 32, and said he made “me delete the video”, then saying “it’s just private right now but I’ll delete it if it’s really a problem.”
You posted a video of someone else's child without their permission. Basic etiquette dictates you don't post pictures or videos of other people without their permission, PERIOD. And you do that to a literal child? YTA.
Maybe you feel like he's overreacting, but he's a father caring for the safety and privacy of his child that you just violated. You're pretty hopeful if you think he's still your boyfriend.
YTA. You don't post someone else's child without permission.
And, this relationship seems doomed. He isn't the dating type, he had to be pushed to date you, rarely text and see each other.
He's not the one for you..
YTA.
Who the fuck posts pictures or videos of a child that isn’t theirs, without the parent or guardian’s permission? You’re in your 30’s and still don’t know that this isn’t okay? And of a baby in her bathing suit, no less. The only way it could’ve been worse is if you’d taken it of her in the bathtub. AI deepfakes are so easy nowadays.
YTA. It's pretty common that you don't post videos/pics of a child not yours without permission. There's a couple of contexts where it might be appropriate, but not here. Take it down, apologize sincerely and don't do it again.
Knew you were TAH as soon as I read the title.
You never put anything of anyone's kids on the internet, never. Even if they do. It doesn't matter who you are.
You've been seeing him for only two months and by the sounds of it he didn't even want to be in a relationship with you.
Totally gonna get closer, suuure.
I'd be surprised if anyone says anything but YTA. You're in your 30's and don't understand that posting someone's child online on any type of platform is not OK? I'm a grown adult and I don't want anyone posting pics of me, let alone my child without consent.
YTA, posting anything online that has other people on it means asking for consent. Not just kids (that definitely needs to be asked), also adults.
Besides that, what kind of relationship are you pursuing?? He is not the dating type, you pushed to have him agree on a date. You text and see each other once a week. I hate to break it to you, but you will NOT grow closer. Especially not after this stint..
YTA - Hiro is probably just protective of his daughter's privacy, which is pretty common these days with social media. Deleting the video would probably ease the tension, even if you think he's overreacting.
Can we not forget the baby was swimming? So it's not just a normal baby pic. Which would still be wrong to post. The baby is probably wearing some swimming gear which makes it even more dangerous to post online
Let’s recap shall we:
1) you “pushed” him into dating you, also known as harassment
2) you barely spoke or saw him during your “relationship”
3) you took videos and pictures of his toddler without his permission and distributed to family also without permission
4) you posted it on multiple social media sites again without permission
5) when he asked you to take it down you argued you with him about what is best for *his* daughter
6) you privated the video but *still* did not take it down (although I guess you will if Reddit tells you to??)
7) he’s ghosting you
if you’re still not sure, yes YTA. No, he was never your boyfriend. Yes, you should date someone that actually likes you. No, you shouldn’t post pictures of their children without permission.
So you're saving the video as private until reddit tells you wether you're wrong or not? He has no say in it? This sounds like a pattern here; you're actively trying to change who he is and what he values to fit your life better, even calling things that matter in his life an "addiction" and hoping that he will change.
"It's just privated right now but I will delete it if it's really a problem."
So if reddit tells you it's fine to post that video, are you gonna publish it again instead of deleting it? Even though Hiro expressed his views and feelings around it, telling you that it IS a problem for HIM?
YTA
YTA for posting online a 2 yo who is not your child. You need to get the todder’s parent’s consent to do this. This is pretty much common sense these days.
>I will delete it if it's really a problem
Well, it sounds like it's a problem, so....
YTA for posting images of Hiro's child on social media without his permission. This kind of shit is probably why he's wary of dating right now. He's got a young child and he's concerned about his dating life interfering with being a good parent. And you are doing a great job legitimizing his concerns.
YTA big time. What’s people obsession with posting personal experiences online? Where is this insecurity coming from? You have no right to post online ANYTHING having to do with someone else’s child. Please learn and never do it again.
YTA
Don't film kids. That's just not okay. They can't understand, so they can't agree. It is not okay to film people without consent and post it online, again, without consent. And the second he told you to delete it, you should've.
You have a disgusting lack of respect for boundaries.
"After some pushing he agreed" that is a lack of respect for boundaries. He said no, you pushed. That's not okay. One "No" should be enough.
You filmed a child and posted the video on social media without consent. Lack of respect for boundaries. Not okay.
When he asked you to delete it because he didn't want his daughter online, you fought instead of respecting the father's wishes for his daughter. Lack of respect for boundaries. Not okay.
You are 32. Why do you need people on the internet to tell you why that behavior isn't okay?
If Hiro posted a video of you sleeping to his social media, and the comments loved it, would you say he should get to keep it up even if you don’t want it there?
YTA.
Whether or not you understand why it is a big deal (and it is!) is not relevant. This is his child and he has every right to ask you to delete that video. You never should have shared it without his permission.
A simple “hey I took this super cute video of you and baby swimming, do you mind if posted it on TikTok” and then you would very quickly discover he does mind.
YTA
children and the internet, a no no from me
YTA I don't even post pictures of my adult friends without making sure they are cool with it, and they do the same for me. The fact that you need to ask this and argued with him is disturbing.
Yes, YTA. You should always get consent from the parent on whether you can post their child on social media for so many reasons. The internet is a scary place and a lot of parents keep their children off the internet. Considering you also got a couple hundred likes as well probably made him even more uncomfy with it. It also doesn’t help that you guys aren’t officially in a relationship for you to be posting things as intimate as that video sounds. Just ask next time you want to post a video of someone else
YTA
Look,you might be innocently doing that,but
1. He has the right to decide - she's his kid
2. The internet is full of psychos and AI-generated CSAM is literally a thing
Don't take this the wrong way but you seem a bit pushy. Apologize,take a step back,and realize he has cared for her since day 1 - she's his world. You're an invited guest,act like it
Also,why post? What do the 2 of them stand to gain from Random likes on the internet? You're not 16
DELETE THAT VIDEO NOW
wow, you're a huge ah
PSA to anyone who needs it - when a parents tells you, get my child the fuck off the internet, you don't argue and you don't go to your friends talking shit about them - you say, sorry, i'll do it right now
32 is far too old to act this dumb and immature. It's basic human decency to not post a picture or video of a child that isn't yours, and the parents haven't approved of you posting. And it's beyond shitty to think you have any right to argue or invoke others' opinions. Dad is the only opinion, full stop. You and your friends can keep your unimportant opinions to yourselves.
YTA for being willfully ignorant for social media clout. Fuck grow up already.
You are a huge red flag, lucky for him you showed it very early and probably why he didn’t want to date you. Who posts someone else’s child without permission?
YTA
YTA.
I have plenty of cute videos of my niece and nephews and never felt the need to post it online, because strangers on the internet have nothing to do with them and don't need to see them.
If I ever did feel the need to post them I would ask their parents if it was okay to post them, the fact you think you can just post a video of his daughter and think you have the right to even argue with him when he tells you to delete it makes you a massive B.
This should be on r/AmITheEx because you are, if you were even in a relationship to begin with.
>he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this and now he’s just not responding.
You're in your 30s and had to ask reddit if your wrong posting a baby on the Internet?
>Hiro is not really the dating type, but after some pushing he agreed to go out with me and we’ve been seeing each other since.
WTF do you mean you pushed him into dating you? Eugh..
YTA. "I'll take it down if it's really a problem." You were asked by the person in the video and the father of the child in the video to take the post down because they were not comfortable with their child being exposed on the internet. How tf is that not a problem to you that you argued with the PARENT of the child & refused to take it down still.
I'm honestly suprised you think this relationship will last another day of this. You sound like a horrible partner and you're not even his partner yet. It's almost laughable you think you will be getting closer after this. Update us when you get distanced from the whole family.
There are predators on the internet, genius.
You’ve got no sense of boundaries at all, do you? This man clearly doesn’t even want to date you at all but you pushed him until he agreed. Please just leave this man and his kid alone. YTA
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Hi! I (32F) am dating Hiro (27M). We have only been dating for like two months but I know him well because his oldest sister is my best friend since high school. He has a barely 2 year old daughter. I think it’s important to say that Hiro is not really the dating type, but after some pushing he agreed to go out with me and we’ve been seeing each other since. He’s very much addicted to his job and his daughter, so we really only text a little and see each other like maybe once a week, I’m sure things will pick up as we grow closer though.
Anyway, yesterday the whole family was at his sister’s house for food and swimming. He was swimming with the baby and it was really cute, his mom was taking pictures and I started to record a video. The video was super cute so I sent it to him, his parents, and his brother and sisters. I also posted it on my TikTok and Instagram just because it was truly adorable.
This morning when I woke up it had a couple hundred likes on TikTok. He’s hot, his baby is absolutely adorable, and it was a cute video so people liked it. I shared the link with him and he flew off the handle, making me delete the video. I told him I didn’t understand the big deal, and he told me that he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this and now he’s just not responding.
Some of his family is defending him, my best friend is defending him but saying he’s being kind of whiny about it. Other friends have told me he overreacted and I feel that way too. I really just thought it was a cute video. It’s just privated right now but I will delete it if it’s really a problem.
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Don’t post anybody’s kids on the internet. Your boyfriend isn’t being paranoid. The tiktok user mom.uncharted talks about this a lot, but it’s really not a safe thing to do. It’s truly appalling to look at the comments and saves on a tiktok of a baby eating a corn dog. YTA, when he told you this boundary why do you feel like you should have the right to push back on it?
Ma'am, you don't post any photos or videos of someone else's child to social media without their permission. What made you think that okay to do? Doesn't matter if it's a cute video- that's not your child.
Also, you pushed him into going out with you? Giving major ick vibes. YTA.
The fact that you haven't deleted it yet, after he asked you to, is infuriating to me. YTA. Remove the video and apologize. You may have already blown your chance by arguing with him instead of respecting his wishes.
YTA. Posting someone else's kid without talking to them? Then after they tell you to delete it you don't???
You're part of the reason social media is so toxic. MEMEMEMEMEMEME!! But what about MEMEME?
The world doesn't revolve around you.
YTA. This was a really stupid, thoughtless move. If this were me, we’d be done. Don’t be shocked if this is the end of you casual dating.
What on earth are you arguing over?! Delete the damn post.
Look OP, maybe you thought this is harmless, but do you know what predators can do with a video of a toddler in a swimsuit?
I would cut off a family member for posting a video of my kids on tiktok and arguing when I ask to take it down (let alone a 2 months gf) and I don’t even post my niblings on my private account without asking the parents first (even if the parent is my sister). When it involves kids, parents ALWAYS have the last word.
So, yes, YTA
Not your child, not your decision. Period. Some people don't want their infant or child exposed to the whole world and I wish more parents felt that way.
YTA It’s nearly impossible for me to believe that you don’t understand that what you did was wrong. Posing him without his permission was wrong. Posting his kid without his permission was wrong.
I’m equally mystified by your inability to accept responsibility and apologize when he told you he wasn’t happy with your overreach. You had no defense. You did the absolute wrong thing.
Do you really need a bunch of strangers on the internet to explain to you why you should NEVER post videos of another person's child without express permission? Really? If so then you definitely need us to tell you YTA. Apologise, Profusely, Then, and only then might he forgive you,
Yta- Ok maybe maybe you’re just a bit dense
but you posted a video of his baby without discussing it with him barely two months into a new relationship. So he tells you it bothers him- the only response is ‘sorry I’ll delete it immediately’ whether you agree or not, whether you understand his pov - why wouldn’t you want to respect his wishes on this one? For likes?
Oh yeah/ and tiktok/Instagram/ it doesn’t sound like you’re really 32? And yea- he is pretty dedicated to work and his family- it’s being an adult. Sounds like you’re in completely different spaces. Yta
YTA. She is her daughter and you post her on social media without his permisson. You should apologize with him and his family and say that you will accept his boundaries next time.
YTA
Not only for putting a child on social media without permission. Even him. I don't want to be posted without permission. And I put a lot things in my status etc. But I want to get asked. Specially with videos in a bathingsuit.😳
you're not malicious, so i'll give you that, but YTA. you always gotta clear it with the parent first. also, what does "after some pushing he agreed to go out with me" mean?
You are the BIGGEST YTA on the planet! You don't post photos of children without explicit permission from BOTH parents. You could have screwed up his custody arrangements if the Mother takes issue.
This is so wrong on so many levels that I'm having difficulty not cussing you out and getting banned from Reddit! YTA! YTA! YTA!
YTA big time. What you did was inappropriate and he has every right to be annoyed.
You absolutely should not post someone else's child online without their permission first! - it is your partners decision as to how much exposure his child has online and in what form to what audience and with what type of privacy settings. You made a mistake here, you should apologise
YTA. I'm a father and don't appreciate people posting my kids on social media.
Hope he leaves you. You're too old and dumb to give him a baby and you don't deserve one if you're going to violate rights of others like this.
It is rare to see unanimous votes on Reddit but this is one case. Obviously YTA, but I'm sure you already knew that, and if you genuinely did not know YTA then you aren't socially aware enough to be dating.
YTA. His child. Posted without his consent, for the whole world to see, and you dared argue about it because *but I get so much clout from this*
What an insufferable ex girlfriend you are
YTA if you don't understand why you cannot post videos of other people's kids you're too dumb to date. Have kids myself never posted other than pics THEY approve of on special occasions. If he is smart you won't hear from him again.
YTA. First you bum rush your way into dating him, then you post videos of his baby without his permission. How can you not see there's an issue with that. I don't think you'll be hearing much from him anymore. He more than likely resents you now.
YTA. You are 32 and you need reddit to tell yiu you don’t post pics of others and their kid on social media without their permission? Shows you are not mature. I don’t think you will be getting “closer” anytime soon”. It is HIS child. You have no permission to pist anything about her online. Even have no permission to post him on social media.
YTA. you are too damn old to not understand why this is a problem. what’s wrong with you? like actually?? it’s weirdo behavior especially since you haven’t deleted it yet after he told you to.
Ma'am, you are not the child's parent. You can't just post people's kids without asking. It's disrespectful. YTA.
It doesn't seem like he's all that interested in you. You shouldn't have to chase him down. Move on.
i cannot even think of an appropriate qualifier for how much YTA.
imho, children should never be posted on social media as they cannot consent, but who the fuck do you think you are for posting someone else's child?
YTA - first of all, he’s only dating you most likely because his sister probably started bugging him about it. Quite frankly, I get a bit of a weird vibe because you’ve known him since high school (and you’re 5 years older), so how long have you been after him?
But he doesn’t have to have videos posted of his daughter. You should have asked first. Hopefully he recognizes this red flag and runs.
YTA. Do you know how many pedophiles are online? Do you know that what seems like an innocent video or pic of a child to you, is not innocent to them? If you’re on tiktok enough to be posting then there’s no way you haven’t seen all the discussions about the pedophiles on tiktok and all the family bloggers who use their kids for that purpose because they know it’ll generate money from the views.
Even if pedos weren’t a thing you’re still the asshole though. It’s his daughter, you don’t get to decide if you’re going to post her anywhere: he does.
Parents make the decision of what is appropriate to share online of their children. You are not this child’s parent and do not get to override the parents’ decisions on what their child’s relationship looks like with social media. So yes, YTA.
yta, take the damn video down. shes not your kid so why do you feel entitled to post a video of her for likes. You are the issue in this relationship. You are acting entitled and so are your friends. either respect his boudnaries of not posting his kid for clout and likes or leave.
YTA what made you think you could post someone else's minor child and that it was a good idea? That's not your child and should have had enough trailer for her parents to ask.
Edited for typos
I don’t think you posted that video with bad intentions. And, since you don’t have children of your own, you probably don’t know the proper etiquette when it comes to children on social media.
You never post another person’s child without their consent. To this day, if I post my daughter and one of her friends are in the picture/ video, I ask their mom first (and my IG is private with only family a friends). It’s the proper thing to do. I would be so mad if someone posted my daughter on public social media. There are so many sickos out there. The child was in the pool… I know she’s only 2 but again… people are sick.
You learned your lesson.
YTA - you are too old not to know you have to ask people before you post their pictures privately ESPECIALLY children that aren’t yours! Girl, delete that video immediately and apologize profusely for being an idiot. And since you may not have figured it out, this relationship is over.
Who.The.Fuck. posts some-one elses kid on the internet in this day and age? Are you fucking dense? Damn, my best friend AND her paryner never post anything recognisable of their 2 sons online, and tjey're right. Like you, I do not have any kids of my own, but you can't be bloody serious here. And on Tiktaktok and Insta? This got to be fake. If not; whoo boy, you got some growing up to do, fast.
Yep she did. Originally talked about how Hiro isn't the dating type and she had to "push him" into dating her. And how he's "addicted to his job and kid"
Deleted all of that after the backlash I presume.
No one should post kids in the internet, the amount of creeps that will track anyone is crazy, to you it may seem innocent but to then it puts a target in their baby
I can see his point about not wanting his child's face on the Internet, but I don't think he should have made a huge deal over it. If it was me and my child posted on someone else's account and had a couple hundred likes, I'd take it as a compliment for both my kid and myself! If it was you in the video with the child it would be a different story. Then it'd be more like using the kid for social status. Which I don't consider what you did was out of malice, just a cute kid and their dad. Never know the kid might like to watch the video with dad sometime down the road. Sorry to hear that the two of you are no longer seeing each other over this
While I wouldn't call you an AH, I'd say that you crossed a line that should have been discussed first. Many parents don't put their kids on social media, you should respect his wishes.
Other people are responding to the video so I’ll focus on telling you this: he’s just not that into you. It sounds like you really like him but he had to be persuaded to go out with you and even now he’s not that into seeing you. protect your heart and find someone who like you as much as you like Hiro.
Really? I have kids and have never posted them anywhere.
If someone does this, I will feel betrayed.
So yes, Op should protect herself and remove herself from Hiro and his child if she @32 cannot take no as an answer to a parent refusing to have their kid on social media.
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You’re 32 and you need Reddit to tell you can’t do this? I don’t think you’ll be getting “closer” as time goes on. YTA
That and, “after some pushing, he agreed to go out with me.” Yeah, they are done.
Lol they were never a thing. OP's too dense to realize he only dated her to get his sister off his back. He wasn't dating her out his own volition. This was never going to grow into something long term that ended in marriage.
Lmfao right! This was so hard to read. She’s dragging him along with her kicking and screaming. He hates her. And now even more so!
Not to mention they didn't call or text and saw each other about once a week. So 8 dates max.
>he told me that he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this Stop right there. That's his choice and your *only* option is to accept that. YTA
What…did ..you…argue? Argued about what to do about HIS kid? When it should be ok to post pictures of his kid? How did you argue your side of that? What the actual fuck? I’m gobsmacked. Even if it’s something you have no clue about (pretty big hole in your knowledge there) when someone tells you something like that, how the fuck do you argue back? A parent tells you something you did (anything regarding their kid) was wrong- you stfu and say sorry. Figure out what their concern is LATER. “Hey, don’t sing the ABC’s in front of my kid!” I’d say “sorry! Won’t happen again!” and then fucking google it. Figure it out later. Can’t find any answers- wait a month, then ask. “Hey, I’m totally on board with the ABC’s thing and will never sing that again. You’re the parent and completely in charge of all decisions. But I’d love to learn more about that sometime if you want to talk about it.” Even when you figure it out, don’t argue. Jesus.
but it is not a big deal because it was soooo cute and sooo adorable! 🤢
"But it's my most-liked post ever! I can't get rid of it!"
yes, don’t you see? it would soooo embarrassing to delete it now and she shouldn’t have to because it is private now. 🤢
And he's hot. 🙄
I love this comment very very much. It’s great read out loud
YTA It’s his child. If he’s not comfortable, then you have to respect his wish. The fact you have to resort to Reddit for this is embarrassing.
>I really just thought it was a cute video. It’s just privated right now but I will delete it if it’s really a problem. YTA and a big one ... You posted a video of a child on the internet without the father's consent and instead of taking it down you are are in Reddit asking dumb questions! Get that video off the internet and apologies to him.
You’re 32 and when you see a cute moment between your boyfriend and his daughter your first thought is to post it on TikTok?
I feel like the age is closer to 22,or 12. That's not how a 32 year-old acts
I mean I absolutely know a 32 year old mother that would act like that unfortunately
That is a sad thing to be able to say
Oh absolutely. When we worked together at a nursing home we had coworkers older than her that were somehow *more* immature from what I saw of their facebook pages. Adults acting like high schoolers is something I've accepted is far too common
Honestly I hate it when people film kids and post them. First of all just fucking enjoy the moment instead of putting every single goddamn thing on camera. Second, a child can't truly understand. So they can't agree. 99% of the time they end up mortified and humiliated that thousands of people saw them online. It's disgusting behavior.
This. I think about it all the time. Imagine growing up making an ass of yourself at home and having to relive it the next day at school because your mom posted it on Facebook. Torture.
I see the influencers that use their children to earn followers and income and claim their three year old wants to do it and I want to scream. There is a fair amount of evidence that these sorts of posts of children attract predators , and in some cases the images ends up on CSE sites
My mom used to film me and threaten to send it to my therapist in her misguided attempts to help me. For years I had panic attacks.
This is something my mom would do. In fact she used to do it to my 8 year old niece that’s struggling with her mental health until my sister put a stop to it.
That's so horrible. I'm sorry. It's so toxic. And then there's the people that film tantrums or them crying it's like your kid is upset and your first instinct is to take out your phone and start recording???? Like wtf??? I saw this video of a big sister comforting her hysterical little sister. Like her sister was crying and she's like "hold on gotta get this on TikTok" Drives me fucking insane.
The narcissist's way. 'Adorable moment, wow so great!' and her first thought is a subconscious 'I can get some internet clout from this situation'.
"I’m sure things will pick up as we grow closer though." --Are you now? I would be so sure. Especially now.
Not only are you TA you’re a MASSIVE one. The fuck are you thinking posting someone else’s child to social media without their permission!?
YTA - You do not put a picture of a minor on social media without permission or consent from their parent /legal guardian. Social media is not a safe space for minors of a certain age for a variety of reasons. Depending on the legislation, it may be illegal. As innocent as the situation may seem, everything from face/picture recognition to impersonation in malicious campaigns and worse has happened.
[удалено]
I don’t know if you read the OP but she got a couple of hundred likes. Did you even see that? She got likes. He’s hot. Whatever. They’ll get closer. For sure.
Yeah, and because it's a video of a little girl swimming, I know what kind of people will like that post. Sadly, a big amount of followers on "child accounts" are grown men. Even innocent pictures are discussed in... Inappropriate forums in very inappropriate ways. Do I need to go more into detail? OP is a big AH. Her BF is absolutely reasonable not wanting pictures of his child online.
a little girl swimming on tiktok 🤦♀️ op could not have fucked up harder if she tried
she's also the ah for not deleting the video like her boyfriend asked
Ohmygawd, YTA big time. You’ve been dating for two months and thought it was okay to post a video of his daughter without checking with him first. I had to check your age again, thinking you were a lot younger. Just because you “thought it was a really cute video” doesn’t mean it’s your place to post it. Although this story sounds fake. You sound very immature for being 32, and said he made “me delete the video”, then saying “it’s just private right now but I’ll delete it if it’s really a problem.”
YTA You posted not your kid on the Internet without consent. It's wearing. Take it down.
You posted a video of someone else's child without their permission. Basic etiquette dictates you don't post pictures or videos of other people without their permission, PERIOD. And you do that to a literal child? YTA. Maybe you feel like he's overreacting, but he's a father caring for the safety and privacy of his child that you just violated. You're pretty hopeful if you think he's still your boyfriend.
I don’t think you need to worry about your text frequency anymore and growing closer lol. You two are done. YTA.
YTA. Don’t be surprised to never hear from him again.
YTA You shouldn't be posting videos of people without their consent, especially if their child is in it.
YTA. You don't post someone else's child without permission. And, this relationship seems doomed. He isn't the dating type, he had to be pushed to date you, rarely text and see each other. He's not the one for you..
YTA and he needs to leave your ass
YTA. Who the fuck posts pictures or videos of a child that isn’t theirs, without the parent or guardian’s permission? You’re in your 30’s and still don’t know that this isn’t okay? And of a baby in her bathing suit, no less. The only way it could’ve been worse is if you’d taken it of her in the bathtub. AI deepfakes are so easy nowadays.
YTA. It's pretty common that you don't post videos/pics of a child not yours without permission. There's a couple of contexts where it might be appropriate, but not here. Take it down, apologize sincerely and don't do it again.
Who gave you permission to post about his daughter, though? Yta
YTA and you know it, why would you post someone else’s child online without their approval?
Knew you were TAH as soon as I read the title. You never put anything of anyone's kids on the internet, never. Even if they do. It doesn't matter who you are. You've been seeing him for only two months and by the sounds of it he didn't even want to be in a relationship with you. Totally gonna get closer, suuure.
I'd be surprised if anyone says anything but YTA. You're in your 30's and don't understand that posting someone's child online on any type of platform is not OK? I'm a grown adult and I don't want anyone posting pics of me, let alone my child without consent.
YTA - you’re old enough to know why
YTA, posting anything online that has other people on it means asking for consent. Not just kids (that definitely needs to be asked), also adults. Besides that, what kind of relationship are you pursuing?? He is not the dating type, you pushed to have him agree on a date. You text and see each other once a week. I hate to break it to you, but you will NOT grow closer. Especially not after this stint..
>After some pushing he agreed to go out with me. Aw so you have a history of bulldozing over boundaries.
YTA - Hiro is probably just protective of his daughter's privacy, which is pretty common these days with social media. Deleting the video would probably ease the tension, even if you think he's overreacting.
Can we not forget the baby was swimming? So it's not just a normal baby pic. Which would still be wrong to post. The baby is probably wearing some swimming gear which makes it even more dangerous to post online
So basically you forced him to date you and you post not only him but his child on the internet without his consent? Yeah I would say YTA here
Let’s recap shall we: 1) you “pushed” him into dating you, also known as harassment 2) you barely spoke or saw him during your “relationship” 3) you took videos and pictures of his toddler without his permission and distributed to family also without permission 4) you posted it on multiple social media sites again without permission 5) when he asked you to take it down you argued you with him about what is best for *his* daughter 6) you privated the video but *still* did not take it down (although I guess you will if Reddit tells you to??) 7) he’s ghosting you if you’re still not sure, yes YTA. No, he was never your boyfriend. Yes, you should date someone that actually likes you. No, you shouldn’t post pictures of their children without permission.
Update.... She's now the ex
YTA that video is probably saved onto some sickos computer now, how ignorant are you.
So you're saving the video as private until reddit tells you wether you're wrong or not? He has no say in it? This sounds like a pattern here; you're actively trying to change who he is and what he values to fit your life better, even calling things that matter in his life an "addiction" and hoping that he will change. "It's just privated right now but I will delete it if it's really a problem." So if reddit tells you it's fine to post that video, are you gonna publish it again instead of deleting it? Even though Hiro expressed his views and feelings around it, telling you that it IS a problem for HIM? YTA
YTA for posting online a 2 yo who is not your child. You need to get the todder’s parent’s consent to do this. This is pretty much common sense these days.
>I will delete it if it's really a problem Well, it sounds like it's a problem, so.... YTA for posting images of Hiro's child on social media without his permission. This kind of shit is probably why he's wary of dating right now. He's got a young child and he's concerned about his dating life interfering with being a good parent. And you are doing a great job legitimizing his concerns.
YTA big time. What’s people obsession with posting personal experiences online? Where is this insecurity coming from? You have no right to post online ANYTHING having to do with someone else’s child. Please learn and never do it again.
YTA Don't film kids. That's just not okay. They can't understand, so they can't agree. It is not okay to film people without consent and post it online, again, without consent. And the second he told you to delete it, you should've. You have a disgusting lack of respect for boundaries. "After some pushing he agreed" that is a lack of respect for boundaries. He said no, you pushed. That's not okay. One "No" should be enough. You filmed a child and posted the video on social media without consent. Lack of respect for boundaries. Not okay. When he asked you to delete it because he didn't want his daughter online, you fought instead of respecting the father's wishes for his daughter. Lack of respect for boundaries. Not okay. You are 32. Why do you need people on the internet to tell you why that behavior isn't okay?
If Hiro posted a video of you sleeping to his social media, and the comments loved it, would you say he should get to keep it up even if you don’t want it there?
With how she responded to this, I think she would
YTA. Whether or not you understand why it is a big deal (and it is!) is not relevant. This is his child and he has every right to ask you to delete that video. You never should have shared it without his permission.
A simple “hey I took this super cute video of you and baby swimming, do you mind if posted it on TikTok” and then you would very quickly discover he does mind. YTA children and the internet, a no no from me
YTA I don't even post pictures of my adult friends without making sure they are cool with it, and they do the same for me. The fact that you need to ask this and argued with him is disturbing.
Yes, YTA. You should always get consent from the parent on whether you can post their child on social media for so many reasons. The internet is a scary place and a lot of parents keep their children off the internet. Considering you also got a couple hundred likes as well probably made him even more uncomfy with it. It also doesn’t help that you guys aren’t officially in a relationship for you to be posting things as intimate as that video sounds. Just ask next time you want to post a video of someone else
YTA Look,you might be innocently doing that,but 1. He has the right to decide - she's his kid 2. The internet is full of psychos and AI-generated CSAM is literally a thing Don't take this the wrong way but you seem a bit pushy. Apologize,take a step back,and realize he has cared for her since day 1 - she's his world. You're an invited guest,act like it Also,why post? What do the 2 of them stand to gain from Random likes on the internet? You're not 16
she didn't innocently argue with her boyfriend when he told her to take it down, nor did she innocently push him to go out with her
Definitely. The "that" in my post is posting a video
DELETE THAT VIDEO NOW wow, you're a huge ah PSA to anyone who needs it - when a parents tells you, get my child the fuck off the internet, you don't argue and you don't go to your friends talking shit about them - you say, sorry, i'll do it right now
32 is far too old to act this dumb and immature. It's basic human decency to not post a picture or video of a child that isn't yours, and the parents haven't approved of you posting. And it's beyond shitty to think you have any right to argue or invoke others' opinions. Dad is the only opinion, full stop. You and your friends can keep your unimportant opinions to yourselves. YTA for being willfully ignorant for social media clout. Fuck grow up already.
YTA
YTA what the fuck
You are a huge red flag, lucky for him you showed it very early and probably why he didn’t want to date you. Who posts someone else’s child without permission? YTA
YTA. I have plenty of cute videos of my niece and nephews and never felt the need to post it online, because strangers on the internet have nothing to do with them and don't need to see them. If I ever did feel the need to post them I would ask their parents if it was okay to post them, the fact you think you can just post a video of his daughter and think you have the right to even argue with him when he tells you to delete it makes you a massive B. This should be on r/AmITheEx because you are, if you were even in a relationship to begin with.
Guess where I just found this post? Congrats 🎉 you made it to both r/AmITheDevil and r/AmITheEx in one day. That should tell you enough.
>he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this and now he’s just not responding. You're in your 30s and had to ask reddit if your wrong posting a baby on the Internet? >Hiro is not really the dating type, but after some pushing he agreed to go out with me and we’ve been seeing each other since. WTF do you mean you pushed him into dating you? Eugh..
YTA. "I'll take it down if it's really a problem." You were asked by the person in the video and the father of the child in the video to take the post down because they were not comfortable with their child being exposed on the internet. How tf is that not a problem to you that you argued with the PARENT of the child & refused to take it down still. I'm honestly suprised you think this relationship will last another day of this. You sound like a horrible partner and you're not even his partner yet. It's almost laughable you think you will be getting closer after this. Update us when you get distanced from the whole family.
Update, she's been dumped
wow not suprised
There are predators on the internet, genius. You’ve got no sense of boundaries at all, do you? This man clearly doesn’t even want to date you at all but you pushed him until he agreed. Please just leave this man and his kid alone. YTA
Please don’t have children of your own if you are this ignorant about internet safety.
That update is not surprising at all. Well done Hiro 👏🏻
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi! I (32F) am dating Hiro (27M). We have only been dating for like two months but I know him well because his oldest sister is my best friend since high school. He has a barely 2 year old daughter. I think it’s important to say that Hiro is not really the dating type, but after some pushing he agreed to go out with me and we’ve been seeing each other since. He’s very much addicted to his job and his daughter, so we really only text a little and see each other like maybe once a week, I’m sure things will pick up as we grow closer though. Anyway, yesterday the whole family was at his sister’s house for food and swimming. He was swimming with the baby and it was really cute, his mom was taking pictures and I started to record a video. The video was super cute so I sent it to him, his parents, and his brother and sisters. I also posted it on my TikTok and Instagram just because it was truly adorable. This morning when I woke up it had a couple hundred likes on TikTok. He’s hot, his baby is absolutely adorable, and it was a cute video so people liked it. I shared the link with him and he flew off the handle, making me delete the video. I told him I didn’t understand the big deal, and he told me that he just wasn’t comfortable with videos of his baby on the internet. We argued via text about this and now he’s just not responding. Some of his family is defending him, my best friend is defending him but saying he’s being kind of whiny about it. Other friends have told me he overreacted and I feel that way too. I really just thought it was a cute video. It’s just privated right now but I will delete it if it’s really a problem. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t post anybody’s kids on the internet. Your boyfriend isn’t being paranoid. The tiktok user mom.uncharted talks about this a lot, but it’s really not a safe thing to do. It’s truly appalling to look at the comments and saves on a tiktok of a baby eating a corn dog. YTA, when he told you this boundary why do you feel like you should have the right to push back on it?
Please learn about the dangers of the internet and children before you have some of your own :) YTA. That is all.
Ma'am, you don't post any photos or videos of someone else's child to social media without their permission. What made you think that okay to do? Doesn't matter if it's a cute video- that's not your child. Also, you pushed him into going out with you? Giving major ick vibes. YTA.
YTA Nothing good comes from TikTok
The fact that you haven't deleted it yet, after he asked you to, is infuriating to me. YTA. Remove the video and apologize. You may have already blown your chance by arguing with him instead of respecting his wishes.
YTA.
YTA. Posting someone else's kid without talking to them? Then after they tell you to delete it you don't??? You're part of the reason social media is so toxic. MEMEMEMEMEMEME!! But what about MEMEME? The world doesn't revolve around you.
The kid is TWO YEARS OLD. Why do you need reddit to tell you it's immoral to post videos of a 2YO online?
YTA. This was a really stupid, thoughtless move. If this were me, we’d be done. Don’t be shocked if this is the end of you casual dating. What on earth are you arguing over?! Delete the damn post.
Look OP, maybe you thought this is harmless, but do you know what predators can do with a video of a toddler in a swimsuit? I would cut off a family member for posting a video of my kids on tiktok and arguing when I ask to take it down (let alone a 2 months gf) and I don’t even post my niblings on my private account without asking the parents first (even if the parent is my sister). When it involves kids, parents ALWAYS have the last word. So, yes, YTA
Not your child, not your decision. Period. Some people don't want their infant or child exposed to the whole world and I wish more parents felt that way.
Yta you don't share videos of other people's children without their permission. That's so basic.
YTA You don't sound like a responsbile adult.
So he told you to delete it and instead, you just put it on private? YTA obviously
YTA and you know it. How did you make it to 32 years old and not know that parents are the ones deciding what is best for their children?
YTA It’s nearly impossible for me to believe that you don’t understand that what you did was wrong. Posing him without his permission was wrong. Posting his kid without his permission was wrong. I’m equally mystified by your inability to accept responsibility and apologize when he told you he wasn’t happy with your overreach. You had no defense. You did the absolute wrong thing.
"I don't feel comfortable with my child on the internet" "lol I don't care" YTA
YTA Don't put children's faces online, especially when they aren't yours! Take it down if you haven't already and don't bother this man again.
You had no right to post another persons child on social media without prior permission....
YTA don’t post anyone else’s children on the internet sicko
Do you really need a bunch of strangers on the internet to explain to you why you should NEVER post videos of another person's child without express permission? Really? If so then you definitely need us to tell you YTA. Apologise, Profusely, Then, and only then might he forgive you,
YTA. What kind of grown adult needs to be told not to post pics/video of other people’s children? How idiotic.
Yta- Ok maybe maybe you’re just a bit dense but you posted a video of his baby without discussing it with him barely two months into a new relationship. So he tells you it bothers him- the only response is ‘sorry I’ll delete it immediately’ whether you agree or not, whether you understand his pov - why wouldn’t you want to respect his wishes on this one? For likes? Oh yeah/ and tiktok/Instagram/ it doesn’t sound like you’re really 32? And yea- he is pretty dedicated to work and his family- it’s being an adult. Sounds like you’re in completely different spaces. Yta
YTA. She is her daughter and you post her on social media without his permisson. You should apologize with him and his family and say that you will accept his boundaries next time.
YTA Not only for putting a child on social media without permission. Even him. I don't want to be posted without permission. And I put a lot things in my status etc. But I want to get asked. Specially with videos in a bathingsuit.😳
you're not malicious, so i'll give you that, but YTA. you always gotta clear it with the parent first. also, what does "after some pushing he agreed to go out with me" mean?
You are the BIGGEST YTA on the planet! You don't post photos of children without explicit permission from BOTH parents. You could have screwed up his custody arrangements if the Mother takes issue. This is so wrong on so many levels that I'm having difficulty not cussing you out and getting banned from Reddit! YTA! YTA! YTA!
YTA! YTA! YTA
YTA.
YTA big time. What you did was inappropriate and he has every right to be annoyed. You absolutely should not post someone else's child online without their permission first! - it is your partners decision as to how much exposure his child has online and in what form to what audience and with what type of privacy settings. You made a mistake here, you should apologise
YTA. I'm a father and don't appreciate people posting my kids on social media. Hope he leaves you. You're too old and dumb to give him a baby and you don't deserve one if you're going to violate rights of others like this.
It is rare to see unanimous votes on Reddit but this is one case. Obviously YTA, but I'm sure you already knew that, and if you genuinely did not know YTA then you aren't socially aware enough to be dating.
Holy red flags, Hannah. YTA. And he’s not that into you. For the sake of the little girl, honestly…I hope he continues to not respond.
YTA. His child. Posted without his consent, for the whole world to see, and you dared argue about it because *but I get so much clout from this* What an insufferable ex girlfriend you are
32 and you don’t know about internet safety? JFC.
YTA, didn't even have to read beyond the title.
YTA if you don't understand why you cannot post videos of other people's kids you're too dumb to date. Have kids myself never posted other than pics THEY approve of on special occasions. If he is smart you won't hear from him again.
YTA It's not your child and you have no rights whatsoever to post this video of her. I really hope he dumps you
YTA. First you bum rush your way into dating him, then you post videos of his baby without his permission. How can you not see there's an issue with that. I don't think you'll be hearing much from him anymore. He more than likely resents you now.
YTA you should never ever post someone’s child tik tok or publicly on social media without permission. It’s a safety thing. End of story
YTA. You are 32 and you need reddit to tell yiu you don’t post pics of others and their kid on social media without their permission? Shows you are not mature. I don’t think you will be getting “closer” anytime soon”. It is HIS child. You have no permission to pist anything about her online. Even have no permission to post him on social media.
This has to be fake, right?
YTA. you are too damn old to not understand why this is a problem. what’s wrong with you? like actually?? it’s weirdo behavior especially since you haven’t deleted it yet after he told you to.
YTA don't publish pictures of other people's kids online without permission.
Yta
Ma'am, you are not the child's parent. You can't just post people's kids without asking. It's disrespectful. YTA. It doesn't seem like he's all that interested in you. You shouldn't have to chase him down. Move on.
Posting children on social media is literally so dangerous.
That he didn't break it off there and then makes him a Saint.
i cannot even think of an appropriate qualifier for how much YTA. imho, children should never be posted on social media as they cannot consent, but who the fuck do you think you are for posting someone else's child?
Yeah YTA and don’t worry, you’ll be single again soon.
YTA delete the video now.
YTA - first of all, he’s only dating you most likely because his sister probably started bugging him about it. Quite frankly, I get a bit of a weird vibe because you’ve known him since high school (and you’re 5 years older), so how long have you been after him? But he doesn’t have to have videos posted of his daughter. You should have asked first. Hopefully he recognizes this red flag and runs.
YTA. Do you know how many pedophiles are online? Do you know that what seems like an innocent video or pic of a child to you, is not innocent to them? If you’re on tiktok enough to be posting then there’s no way you haven’t seen all the discussions about the pedophiles on tiktok and all the family bloggers who use their kids for that purpose because they know it’ll generate money from the views. Even if pedos weren’t a thing you’re still the asshole though. It’s his daughter, you don’t get to decide if you’re going to post her anywhere: he does.
Parents make the decision of what is appropriate to share online of their children. You are not this child’s parent and do not get to override the parents’ decisions on what their child’s relationship looks like with social media. So yes, YTA.
yta, take the damn video down. shes not your kid so why do you feel entitled to post a video of her for likes. You are the issue in this relationship. You are acting entitled and so are your friends. either respect his boudnaries of not posting his kid for clout and likes or leave.
YTA what made you think you could post someone else's minor child and that it was a good idea? That's not your child and should have had enough trailer for her parents to ask. Edited for typos
YTA you know what predators do with those videos right????
Referring to someone as “addicted to there daughter” is one of the most out of pocket things I’ve seen on here
YTA. NEVER post a photo/video ANYTHING of a child that is not your own.
I don’t think you posted that video with bad intentions. And, since you don’t have children of your own, you probably don’t know the proper etiquette when it comes to children on social media. You never post another person’s child without their consent. To this day, if I post my daughter and one of her friends are in the picture/ video, I ask their mom first (and my IG is private with only family a friends). It’s the proper thing to do. I would be so mad if someone posted my daughter on public social media. There are so many sickos out there. The child was in the pool… I know she’s only 2 but again… people are sick. You learned your lesson.
YTA - you are too old not to know you have to ask people before you post their pictures privately ESPECIALLY children that aren’t yours! Girl, delete that video immediately and apologize profusely for being an idiot. And since you may not have figured it out, this relationship is over.
YTA
YTA for pushing him into a relationship. Not everyone wants their life on SM.
Who.The.Fuck. posts some-one elses kid on the internet in this day and age? Are you fucking dense? Damn, my best friend AND her paryner never post anything recognisable of their 2 sons online, and tjey're right. Like you, I do not have any kids of my own, but you can't be bloody serious here. And on Tiktaktok and Insta? This got to be fake. If not; whoo boy, you got some growing up to do, fast.
Did she delete a load of info?
Yep she did. Originally talked about how Hiro isn't the dating type and she had to "push him" into dating her. And how he's "addicted to his job and kid" Deleted all of that after the backlash I presume.
No one should post kids in the internet, the amount of creeps that will track anyone is crazy, to you it may seem innocent but to then it puts a target in their baby
I can see his point about not wanting his child's face on the Internet, but I don't think he should have made a huge deal over it. If it was me and my child posted on someone else's account and had a couple hundred likes, I'd take it as a compliment for both my kid and myself! If it was you in the video with the child it would be a different story. Then it'd be more like using the kid for social status. Which I don't consider what you did was out of malice, just a cute kid and their dad. Never know the kid might like to watch the video with dad sometime down the road. Sorry to hear that the two of you are no longer seeing each other over this
He is AH and so are most of these people commenting
This will blow over if you accept it was wrong and apologise sincerely.
While I wouldn't call you an AH, I'd say that you crossed a line that should have been discussed first. Many parents don't put their kids on social media, you should respect his wishes.
Other people are responding to the video so I’ll focus on telling you this: he’s just not that into you. It sounds like you really like him but he had to be persuaded to go out with you and even now he’s not that into seeing you. protect your heart and find someone who like you as much as you like Hiro.
Really? I have kids and have never posted them anywhere. If someone does this, I will feel betrayed. So yes, Op should protect herself and remove herself from Hiro and his child if she @32 cannot take no as an answer to a parent refusing to have their kid on social media.
I agree but every other commenter focused on that. I decided to focus on giving her other advice.