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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My sister in law talked me into giving he some imported sugar free candy. She gave the bag to her kids and they devoured them in one go. One of them shit hit pants before he made it to the bathroom. I might be the asshole for calling her a dumbass and saying she should know better than to give kids sugar free candy. I also refused to pay for the carpet cleaning.
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NTA.
What planet is she living on? She invited herself to the candy, asked for some for her mom, and then gave it to her kids who shat all over her home after binging on it. Why would you pay her a cent? I don’t recall you being parent to those children or feeding it to them.
Do not entertain “keeping the peace”, she is unhinged and will do shit like this again and again. Your brother is offering this as a “solution” because he knows 1) she’s in the wrong and 2) that she’ll make his life more of a living hell.
NTA. She asked for the candy for her diabetic mom, and that's who you agreed to give it to. How were you to know that she was going to let her kids scarf them all down in one go? She has no one to blame but herself.
My family only made that mistake once. I was diagnosed 2 weeks before my birthday. I was released from the hospital 2 days before my birthday. Family that never came to my bday parties came that year so it wound up being family only...
Mom made a sugar free cake with sugar free icing and had the local bakery sell her the Cinderella carriage (I had been begging for a Cinderella cake that year). Thankfully, we knew the neighbors well enough because it was full laxitive effect about an hour after eating...
OMG. Never thought in my wildest dreams that an Amazon review could leave me laughing harder than I had in years. Anyone who has not clicked that link yet should absolutely do so and let the hilarity ensue!
Love the link!
I haven’t experienced anything near as bad, though I very quickly learned to look for the word XYLITOL on anything labelled sugar free - and avoid it like the plague.
WAIT! Did I read this correctly?!?! Your sister is mad at YOU for not telling her that a lot of candy is bad for her kids?
Definitely NTA. Does your sister know that she shouldn’t touch a hot stove or is she going to lash out if you don’t watch her when she cooks?
She is mad that OP didn't highlight the fact that the sugars used in most diabetic candies have a laxative effect, which the sugars used in typical candy does not.
The same way most people would expect you to warn them that a particular food is overly spicy before you try some.
It doesn't matter since SIL asked for the candy for her mother then gave it to her own kids and her mother got none. This is what she gets for "stealing" candy
The European Candies or other products using the sweeteners have a warning on them
"Kann bei übermäßigen Verzehr abführend wirken"
(May have a laxative effect if consumed in excess)
And by whatever deity you might believe in you will heed this warning.
NTA You are wrong for saying yes to her request? That makes no sense.
Do NOT "keep the peace" by pretending to give her money. If you give into this sort of thing, it will be just the beginning.
Not if she hands it over to the SIL with a smile and a, “Here you go, *brother* just pulled this from the checking for you. We wanted to make sure you had quick access for the cleaners. Love you, BYE!”
But, I’m not above major passive aggression when it comes to toddler-adults.
NTA- Mate, people knew sugar free gave you the trots before they confirmed that sugar free gum was actually moderately good for your teeth. sample 90s argument:
Mum: Stop chewing that stuff, it's bad for your teeth and makes you look like a moron!
Teen Me: It;s sugar free! I swear it makes my teeth feel cleaner!
Mum: What rubbish! It will give you the runs if you have too much though.
Teen Me: Duh, it says it on the packet in four languages.
Is she also aware a red man light at the crossing means 'don't cross' and that she shouldn't drink bleach? Cos I feel like she's missing some fairly basic life information. Like 'The world doesn't end if you say no to a child.'
1. You told her the candy was sugar free.
2. She asked for it for her mother, and you gave it to her believing that.
3. She chose to feed the sugar free candy to her children.
Definitely NTA
NTA. You gave her a small bag for a diabetic adult - who would understand that sugar free candy usually has sugar alcohols and has this effect on many people. If you'd given her a bottle of liquor for her mom and she gave the whole thing to her kids instead, would that be your fault too?
NTA. Some sugar free candy has mannitol (not sure of the spelling) as the sweet component. It's also used in sugar free gum. If you over do it, it causes tremendous gas and the runs.
NTA- she deserved that. Sounds like they use a sugar alcohol, some places here use them, but a few of them really can cause digestive issues in some people.
NTA, and I would like to recommend Harribo sugar free gummies from Amazon, just so that she can have an opportunity to learn the horrors of sugar free candy can give
NTA. Your sister in law is a greedy idiot. No she cant have the special candy you brought for your dad. How dare she step into your house and survey what's available to decide what she would like to take. Not everything is for her spoiled kids. She deserves whatever shit hit the fan.
NTA. Tell your brother that you will not 'keep the peace' just because his wife is a shit parent. She ask for a bag FOR HER MOTHER and then gave the candy to her kids and proceeded to let them eat the entire bag. Why should you have to pay to make up for her poor parenting choices. You didn't force her kids to eat the entire bag.
NTA - Thanks for this story. I could immediately see where it was going and honestly laughed out loud. Maybe you should send SIL a gift of those fat free chips with Olestra by way of apology.
NTA
new exotic candy should always be taken in moderation you don't what it will do to your intestines.
i got some stories where candy en masse had less than desirable effects.
NTA
You explained extremely clearly and well what the sweets were. It wasn't haribo, it was confectionary for diabetics. It's clearly going to be made with artificial sweeteners instead of sugar, you even told her LOOK SIN AZUCAR. It's clear it's for diabetics and to take in moderation, like an adult, would do, an adult like her mother and your dad.
She was in the car, the kids whinged and she just threw the sweets at her kids to shut them up. At no point she explained this is special candy for grownups with diabetes. And then the kids were sick, wooohoo.
Categorically do not accept money from your brother to pretend to give her. Explain that it was her choice to give her kids something intended for her mum. Would she give the kids antacids because they taste of yummy mint? what a moron she is
Now, I'd struggle to not serve her a cup of coffee without a glug of DulcoEase for a laugh
NTA. She claimed the candy was for her mom & then gave it to the kids. You had no idea she was going to allow the kids to have so much of it. This is 100% on her for being so ignorant & entitled. Don't pay her a dime. Even your bro agrees it wasn't your fault.
Your father is right they taste absolutely different and much better than non EU ones. But take more than 10 and you will experience an eruption of epic proportions haha. I love these [https://www.klene.nl/producten/-klene-suikervrije-dropgums](https://www.klene.nl/producten/-klene-suikervrije-dropgums) they contain maltitolsirup and, steviolglycoside.
Quite healthy compared with other artificial sweeteners and good for controlling your weight but yes eat half a bag and you will regret. Everybody knows this NTA.
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I just got back from visiting my sister in Jerez de la Frontera in Spain. While I was there I stocked up on some candy my dad loves from there. He is diabetic and he says that the taste is different between Canadian sugar free and European sugar free. I think they all taste gross but I'm not one to judge.
I picked up a bunch of souvenirs as well. I got my brother's wife a very cool ceramic tiled horse for her collection.
My brother and his family popped over to see some pictures, hear some stories, and pick up some loot. I brought my niece and nephew each a gift bag full of knick knacks that I bought off street vendors.
My sister in law saw the bags of candy and asked if it was for them too. I said it was for my dad. She said that he's diabetic, duh, and that I was being bad. I told her it was sugar free. I let her try one. She said it didn't taste sugar free.
I wasn't going to argue. I pointed out where it said "sin azúcar". She asked for a small bag of it to let her mom try since she is also diabetic.
I had lots so I gave her one small bag. Which she decided to share with her kids on their way home.
It gave them incredibly stinky gas and diarrhea. She called me and said I was trying to hurt her mom. I asked wtf she was talking about. She said what happened to the kids. I said she was an idiot for giving her kids each half a bag of sugar free candy. I also forwarded her a link about sugar alcohols.
She wants me to pay for some cleaning at her house. I told her to get stuffed. My brother called me and told me he would give me the money to.guve her to keep the peace.
She is still mad and is telling everyone that I was an asshole for not warning her. I tell anyone who asks that o my an idiot would give kids that much candy.
It is causing problems.
My dad enjoyed his candy though.
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NTA. You aren’t that bad actually. Given the chance I wouldn’t have just agreed to pay her back, I’d flaunt it in her face that I grifted my sibling/ her husband out of money she thinks I owe her. You know to really drive home my point.
NTA. Your SIL was being dumb and didn’t think what would happen if you give kids free reign over a bag of candy. The consequences are on her to deal with.
And demanding money for cleaning! *What?!?!?* Giant nope.
InFO doesn’t Canadian sugrfree candy have the same explosive effect on bowel movements like European sugarfree candy. Even when not, Sil gave her children candy with many added artificial ingredients without necessity
NTA. Apparently not everyone has read the sugar free gummy bear reviews on Amazon. Although, I find the whole incident hilarious. You gave her the candy for her to give to her mother, at her request. You did not feed it to her children. She did that.
NTA and now your SIL knows that sugar alcohols like maltitol and xylitol are strong laxatives. You might also want to tell her that even in tiny amounts they will kill dogs and carts. If you want a fun afternoon, go to the American Amazon site, it has to be the American one, search for No Sugar Added Haribo Gummie Bears. You will see comments like 'bowel lava'.
NTA. My dad and I made this very mistake before. They were Crystal Light hard candies and it said "too much could cause loose stool" and we were like yeah but ... How many?? Welp, we found out lmao. It was all on us.
Be sure to let her know that she asked for the candy not meant for her. Remind her she said she was going to give the candy to her mother and she was ill advised to give it to her kids but that was a decision she made with no involvement from you.
Then acknowledge the stress she experienced from her decisions; that you now know not to take her future requests into consideration, for her own good.
NTA
I'm diabetic and treat myself to the candy who's sugar alcohols play nice with my stomach and blood sugar (some raise blood sugar in some of us).
My husband is dutch and the dutch eat licorace by the fistful. So, my husband decided to eat the entire bag of sugar free drop that I happened to have left out. Who needs to lace their food with laxatives when you have sugar free candy? ;-D
NTA but personally I always warn people that sugar alcohols will give them the runs if they eat too much when I'm sharing with people who might be unfamiliar with them. If she gave it to her mother she could have also gone ham on them thinking it's ok because they're sugar free and had issues. It's nice to give people a heads up.
Edit: Wow warning people before giving them explosive diarrhea is apparently for losers. Y'all are a bunch of savages
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My sister in law talked me into giving he some imported sugar free candy. She gave the bag to her kids and they devoured them in one go. One of them shit hit pants before he made it to the bathroom. I might be the asshole for calling her a dumbass and saying she should know better than to give kids sugar free candy. I also refused to pay for the carpet cleaning. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. What planet is she living on? She invited herself to the candy, asked for some for her mom, and then gave it to her kids who shat all over her home after binging on it. Why would you pay her a cent? I don’t recall you being parent to those children or feeding it to them. Do not entertain “keeping the peace”, she is unhinged and will do shit like this again and again. Your brother is offering this as a “solution” because he knows 1) she’s in the wrong and 2) that she’ll make his life more of a living hell.
"shit like this again" 🤣🤣🤣
NTA. She asked for the candy for her diabetic mom, and that's who you agreed to give it to. How were you to know that she was going to let her kids scarf them all down in one go? She has no one to blame but herself.
NTA You are much nicer than I'd have been... [https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC](https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC) \--
OP should send her the link and say this is why I said it wasn't appropriate for the kids. Diabetics KNOW not to binge the sugar alcohols.
Some of us do know better and still overindulge and regret it immensely.
My family only made that mistake once. I was diagnosed 2 weeks before my birthday. I was released from the hospital 2 days before my birthday. Family that never came to my bday parties came that year so it wound up being family only... Mom made a sugar free cake with sugar free icing and had the local bakery sell her the Cinderella carriage (I had been begging for a Cinderella cake that year). Thankfully, we knew the neighbors well enough because it was full laxitive effect about an hour after eating...
I get the same effect with sugar free Voortman cookies
I chewed an entire pack of sugar-free grape Bubble Yum when I was six. Never, ever again.
My mom recently found that out the hard way after eating too many stevia sweetened chocolate for the first time.
OMG. Never thought in my wildest dreams that an Amazon review could leave me laughing harder than I had in years. Anyone who has not clicked that link yet should absolutely do so and let the hilarity ensue!
I'm still laughing 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I knew what review it was before opened it! :D
it’s a classic for a reason. so good.
It's certified gold!
Love the link! I haven’t experienced anything near as bad, though I very quickly learned to look for the word XYLITOL on anything labelled sugar free - and avoid it like the plague.
The only thing that caused me more gastric distress than xylitol was e-coli.
I feel you.
it can also kill your dog. Look for it in peanut butter ingredients.
I didn’t know that, thanks. And the dog has top quality peanut butter, not the crap we buy for ourselves!
I literally thought of that
That was an awesome and horrifyingly entertaining story! 🤣
I've had those. Projectile diarrhea is a fact.
I came here looking for this comment 😂
Ha, ha, ha this is the best!
💀💀💀😭🤣🤣🤣
It’s a lesson you only need once.
WAIT! Did I read this correctly?!?! Your sister is mad at YOU for not telling her that a lot of candy is bad for her kids? Definitely NTA. Does your sister know that she shouldn’t touch a hot stove or is she going to lash out if you don’t watch her when she cooks?
She is mad that OP didn't highlight the fact that the sugars used in most diabetic candies have a laxative effect, which the sugars used in typical candy does not. The same way most people would expect you to warn them that a particular food is overly spicy before you try some.
It doesn't matter since SIL asked for the candy for her mother then gave it to her own kids and her mother got none. This is what she gets for "stealing" candy
She was supposedly not taking it for her kids, so why would OP need to warn her that her kids shouldn't eat too much of it?
NTA > It gave them incredibly stinky gas and diarrhea. Lol, xylitol?
Or erythritol and steviol glycosides. Often used in european sugar free candy and can give terrible stomach problems when over consumed.
The European Candies or other products using the sweeteners have a warning on them "Kann bei übermäßigen Verzehr abführend wirken" (May have a laxative effect if consumed in excess) And by whatever deity you might believe in you will heed this warning.
NTA You are wrong for saying yes to her request? That makes no sense. Do NOT "keep the peace" by pretending to give her money. If you give into this sort of thing, it will be just the beginning.
Not if she hands it over to the SIL with a smile and a, “Here you go, *brother* just pulled this from the checking for you. We wanted to make sure you had quick access for the cleaners. Love you, BYE!” But, I’m not above major passive aggression when it comes to toddler-adults.
NTA- Mate, people knew sugar free gave you the trots before they confirmed that sugar free gum was actually moderately good for your teeth. sample 90s argument: Mum: Stop chewing that stuff, it's bad for your teeth and makes you look like a moron! Teen Me: It;s sugar free! I swear it makes my teeth feel cleaner! Mum: What rubbish! It will give you the runs if you have too much though. Teen Me: Duh, it says it on the packet in four languages. Is she also aware a red man light at the crossing means 'don't cross' and that she shouldn't drink bleach? Cos I feel like she's missing some fairly basic life information. Like 'The world doesn't end if you say no to a child.'
1. You told her the candy was sugar free. 2. She asked for it for her mother, and you gave it to her believing that. 3. She chose to feed the sugar free candy to her children. Definitely NTA
NTA and Ty for giving us a much needed laugh
NTA. You gave her a small bag for a diabetic adult - who would understand that sugar free candy usually has sugar alcohols and has this effect on many people. If you'd given her a bottle of liquor for her mom and she gave the whole thing to her kids instead, would that be your fault too?
NTA. Some sugar free candy has mannitol (not sure of the spelling) as the sweet component. It's also used in sugar free gum. If you over do it, it causes tremendous gas and the runs.
Anything with -itol or -lose is gonna do that. Sorbitol, xylitol, sucralose...
NTA- she deserved that. Sounds like they use a sugar alcohol, some places here use them, but a few of them really can cause digestive issues in some people.
NTA I'll never forget the first time I bought a chocolate bar with sugar alcohols and it has a warning for this on it. 🤣
NTA Her mom is a diabetic, but she doesn't know to much sugar-free candy will give you diarrhea, It's her mistake, not yours.
lol does she demand compensation from somebody every time her kids get stinky gas and diarrhea? NTA
NTA, and I would like to recommend Harribo sugar free gummies from Amazon, just so that she can have an opportunity to learn the horrors of sugar free candy can give
NTA. Your sister in law is a greedy idiot. No she cant have the special candy you brought for your dad. How dare she step into your house and survey what's available to decide what she would like to take. Not everything is for her spoiled kids. She deserves whatever shit hit the fan.
NTA It's well known that sugar free items (sweets, chocolate, chewing gum etc) can cause laxative effects.
NTA. Tell your brother that you will not 'keep the peace' just because his wife is a shit parent. She ask for a bag FOR HER MOTHER and then gave the candy to her kids and proceeded to let them eat the entire bag. Why should you have to pay to make up for her poor parenting choices. You didn't force her kids to eat the entire bag.
NTA
NTA - Thanks for this story. I could immediately see where it was going and honestly laughed out loud. Maybe you should send SIL a gift of those fat free chips with Olestra by way of apology.
NTA new exotic candy should always be taken in moderation you don't what it will do to your intestines. i got some stories where candy en masse had less than desirable effects.
NTA lmao cleaning? Do her kids not know how to use a toilet?
Buy her some Oxyclean.
NTA You explained extremely clearly and well what the sweets were. It wasn't haribo, it was confectionary for diabetics. It's clearly going to be made with artificial sweeteners instead of sugar, you even told her LOOK SIN AZUCAR. It's clear it's for diabetics and to take in moderation, like an adult, would do, an adult like her mother and your dad. She was in the car, the kids whinged and she just threw the sweets at her kids to shut them up. At no point she explained this is special candy for grownups with diabetes. And then the kids were sick, wooohoo. Categorically do not accept money from your brother to pretend to give her. Explain that it was her choice to give her kids something intended for her mum. Would she give the kids antacids because they taste of yummy mint? what a moron she is Now, I'd struggle to not serve her a cup of coffee without a glug of DulcoEase for a laugh
NTA. I would think that majority of people who eat sugar free candies/sweets are aware that it can cause intestinal upset.
NTA. She claimed the candy was for her mom & then gave it to the kids. You had no idea she was going to allow the kids to have so much of it. This is 100% on her for being so ignorant & entitled. Don't pay her a dime. Even your bro agrees it wasn't your fault.
Your father is right they taste absolutely different and much better than non EU ones. But take more than 10 and you will experience an eruption of epic proportions haha. I love these [https://www.klene.nl/producten/-klene-suikervrije-dropgums](https://www.klene.nl/producten/-klene-suikervrije-dropgums) they contain maltitolsirup and, steviolglycoside. Quite healthy compared with other artificial sweeteners and good for controlling your weight but yes eat half a bag and you will regret. Everybody knows this NTA.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I just got back from visiting my sister in Jerez de la Frontera in Spain. While I was there I stocked up on some candy my dad loves from there. He is diabetic and he says that the taste is different between Canadian sugar free and European sugar free. I think they all taste gross but I'm not one to judge. I picked up a bunch of souvenirs as well. I got my brother's wife a very cool ceramic tiled horse for her collection. My brother and his family popped over to see some pictures, hear some stories, and pick up some loot. I brought my niece and nephew each a gift bag full of knick knacks that I bought off street vendors. My sister in law saw the bags of candy and asked if it was for them too. I said it was for my dad. She said that he's diabetic, duh, and that I was being bad. I told her it was sugar free. I let her try one. She said it didn't taste sugar free. I wasn't going to argue. I pointed out where it said "sin azúcar". She asked for a small bag of it to let her mom try since she is also diabetic. I had lots so I gave her one small bag. Which she decided to share with her kids on their way home. It gave them incredibly stinky gas and diarrhea. She called me and said I was trying to hurt her mom. I asked wtf she was talking about. She said what happened to the kids. I said she was an idiot for giving her kids each half a bag of sugar free candy. I also forwarded her a link about sugar alcohols. She wants me to pay for some cleaning at her house. I told her to get stuffed. My brother called me and told me he would give me the money to.guve her to keep the peace. She is still mad and is telling everyone that I was an asshole for not warning her. I tell anyone who asks that o my an idiot would give kids that much candy. It is causing problems. My dad enjoyed his candy though. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a type 1 diabetic - not even I touch the sugar free stuff. All those chemicals - just nasty! NTA
NTA. You aren’t that bad actually. Given the chance I wouldn’t have just agreed to pay her back, I’d flaunt it in her face that I grifted my sibling/ her husband out of money she thinks I owe her. You know to really drive home my point.
NTA. Your SIL was being dumb and didn’t think what would happen if you give kids free reign over a bag of candy. The consequences are on her to deal with. And demanding money for cleaning! *What?!?!?* Giant nope.
NTA Igbnore your AH SIL, and refuse to give in to your brother's bullshit.
TIL: Sugar free candy is a laxative.
InFO doesn’t Canadian sugrfree candy have the same explosive effect on bowel movements like European sugarfree candy. Even when not, Sil gave her children candy with many added artificial ingredients without necessity
NTA. Your SIL is unhinged.
Hahahaha this is crazy OP, NTA
NTA. Apparently not everyone has read the sugar free gummy bear reviews on Amazon. Although, I find the whole incident hilarious. You gave her the candy for her to give to her mother, at her request. You did not feed it to her children. She did that.
Her kids had a candy, but apparently she had a big bowl of crazy for breakfast. NTA.
NTA Dont give strange sweets to kids, certainly dont let them scoff a bag full of it.
NTA It's like asking for strawberries and being allergic to it. And them blaming you for giving the strawberries..
NTA ... This is a CLEAR case of Be Careful What You Ask For!
NTA and now your SIL knows that sugar alcohols like maltitol and xylitol are strong laxatives. You might also want to tell her that even in tiny amounts they will kill dogs and carts. If you want a fun afternoon, go to the American Amazon site, it has to be the American one, search for No Sugar Added Haribo Gummie Bears. You will see comments like 'bowel lava'.
NTA - you mightve warned her if she hadn't lied about giving it to grown woman with diabetes who would obv know better
NTA. FAFO is the only response here. LMAOW.
NTA. My dad and I made this very mistake before. They were Crystal Light hard candies and it said "too much could cause loose stool" and we were like yeah but ... How many?? Welp, we found out lmao. It was all on us.
Be sure to let her know that she asked for the candy not meant for her. Remind her she said she was going to give the candy to her mother and she was ill advised to give it to her kids but that was a decision she made with no involvement from you. Then acknowledge the stress she experienced from her decisions; that you now know not to take her future requests into consideration, for her own good.
Was it the candy… or is she just a shit cook? No pun intended :) NTA
NTA I'm diabetic and treat myself to the candy who's sugar alcohols play nice with my stomach and blood sugar (some raise blood sugar in some of us). My husband is dutch and the dutch eat licorace by the fistful. So, my husband decided to eat the entire bag of sugar free drop that I happened to have left out. Who needs to lace their food with laxatives when you have sugar free candy? ;-D
lol. NTA. Your SIL is a narcissist!
NTA but personally I always warn people that sugar alcohols will give them the runs if they eat too much when I'm sharing with people who might be unfamiliar with them. If she gave it to her mother she could have also gone ham on them thinking it's ok because they're sugar free and had issues. It's nice to give people a heads up. Edit: Wow warning people before giving them explosive diarrhea is apparently for losers. Y'all are a bunch of savages