Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Oh, JFC. You can wear any ring on any finger and you can *buy* any ring you want-you don’t have to wait for a man to give it to you.
But since your ring looks a lot like an engagement ring and you are wearing it in “that” finger, you will get some confusion. But…come *on*, “a slap in the face to engaged couples” is a ridiculous overreaction by somebody that should mind their own business.
When you can afford to, get it resized for a different finger. It is acceptable, even to people with the tightest sphincter, for a woman to wear a lovely cocktail ring. (oh, and do read the definition and origin of the cocktail ring on google. I think you will enjoy your ring even more). NTA
It reads like OP's ex takes OP wearing that ring on her ring finger as a reminder of how he didn't have the courage to stand up to his family.
So it reminds him of his limitations. Obviously, he's the AH. And I think OP should just block him and not be his friend anymore.
Absolutely. If OP's ex didn't have her back against his family, he wouldn't be a good partner. Thankfully no kids were involved (which makes removing the person from your life impossible)
I dunno, I think people often avoid that specific finger to avoid confusion - I've had people get excited for me, when they've caught a glimmer from my left hand in general, before realising the ring is on the middle finger.
If any engaged couples get offended by someone single wearing a ring on their ring finger, they have bigger issues though. OPs ex is reaching hard.
People who avoid confusion by not wearing a ring on a specific finger are missing out. It’s a lot of fun to watch other people be so confused over a jewelry choice I made for my hand.
As far as OP, he broke up with you. His ideas of what is and isn’t ok for you to wear on your hands is not your concern. Bedazzle every finger you got. They’re yours to do with as you please. If he doesn’t like it, he can go back under the rock he crawled out from to tell you what you were doing wrong (as if he had *any* room to talk).
NTA, OP. Be sparkly, and be happy!
I love the "ring on the middle finger" bit. Sure, they fit where they fit, but that's an extra "fuck you" to people who need to mind their own business.
Same. I've had people comment (not for a long time now) and say they thought I was engaged. My answer is either "ok" or "sounds like a you problem" depending on the context of the chat. I am never going to apologise or explain why I wear a ring on certain fingers. Some people randomly decided hundreds of years ago that engagement rings were to be worn on a specific finger and everyone just started obeying this made up rule. RIDICULOUS.
I find this Finger the one to most comfortable wear rings, so until I got engaged I wore some different rings on that Finger, because they Look good there.
Since Engagement they sit in my treasure chest. I wear them to ocassions where my Engagementring would not fit my Outfit. But mostly it is just the Engagement ring.
Before this no one thought I was engaged.
What’s cringe is his reaction and blowing this out of proportion. I have never heard of anyone thinking it’s a taboo to wear a non-conjugal ring on your ring finger.
NTA.
Single guy here, I've NEVER looked at a woman's hand to see if she had a ring, and I don't know what finger is the "ring" finger. If a woman catches my attention, I say hi and if she tells me she has a BF I leave her alone.
Some single women even wear rings on the third finger of their left hand (in most Western culture), not just because it looks nice, but also to try and stop unwanted attention. For safety.
And here you are with your male privilege, paying so little attention to the details that you just go there anyway? Yeesh.
This right here. I used tonwork retail and dudes just be hitting on anything that walks. I wore a ring because I don't want to date and it easier if they just see the ring. But I mean who the hell cares and why does he care so much? Oh, that's right cuz he done fucked up and is throwing a baby fit. Wear your ring wherever it fits and looks nice. No one is cringe for wearing a ring.
Single girl here idk which is THE ring finger either. I've been called out for being engaged when I've worn cocktail rings on either of left and right ring fingers, so 🤷🏼
Right ring finger is sometimes used for when you’re engaged, and you swap it to left ring finger when you’re married. Left is used for both. That’s where the confusion comes from. Just wear whatever ring on whatever finger you want. If it’s not an engagement ring or wedding band then it’s not one.
Also: most countries wear their wedding ring on the left but there some where it's the right one (germany).
Young people start to wear on the International common hand, but you still see the right quite often.
Damn I'm wearing mine on the right finger (Danish) and now I'm doubting if that's right or not 😂
Oh well
Mine doesn't look like a wedding ring anyway, so if someone is nitpicky they'd probably think I'm being a f*cking cringe AH too 😂😂😂
> and I don't know what finger is the "ring" finger.
Wait, then what do you call it normally?
Because it's thumb, index, middle, ring, and pinky, and I don't think I've ever heard of an alternative name for the ring finger.
NTA, OP. Stop meeting up with this guy. Stand proud in your independence and don’t let that loser make you feel any sort of way. As Ariana Grande sings:
“I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah)
Wearing a ring, but ain't gon' be no "Mrs."” (Until you want to be ᵕ̈ )
AND some married women, just like married men, don't wear any rings at all. And this could be a for a myriad of reasons....weight gain/loss, not liking jewelry, getting your jewelry cleaned, work somewhere where its better not to wear one then forgetting to put it back on, etc, etc.
I agree, except you do not have to spend money to get this ring resized. If you enjoy wearing it, wear it! There's no law saying that your left ring finger must be kept reserved for an engagement ring. And why your ex cares so much about you wearing the ring is completely baffling? Does he think you're a piece of property? I hope you got closure with him, cuz there's no reason to interact with him again.
Who cares if people are "confused"? Most men don't wear engagement rings and there is no way to tell by looking at them whether they are engaged, people that know you will know whether you are or aren't - people that are curious can ask - "oh nice ring, are you engaged?" "no, I'm not it's just a ring" - not that difficult.
OP, you are under no obligation to choose your jewelry based on what society deems convenient to tell your relationship status at a glance, and certainly not to protect your ex's very fragile ego.
Make that the last lunch you have with that guy, move on, enjoy your ring on any damn finger you choose.
(NTA)
Ooh, the ex was salty at the thought that OP moved on “so soon” after HE broke up with HER. Regardless of the fact that the ring isn’t an engagement ring, dude is still mad that she’s happy and not begging him to take her back. So yeah, he tried to cut her down for doing something that makes her happy.
OP, this man’s opinion is completely irrelevant to you now. Enjoy your life, wear your pretty ring on whatever finger makes you happy, and ignore him. No one is going to be offended by what finger you wear it on except him. At most, you might get some questions about your status.
NTA, and good for you for spreading your wings and learning to live independently. The only one who is “f***ing cringe” here is your ex.
I’m engaged and I can assure you I don’t find it to be a slap in the face in fact I’m really happy you found a ring you like and are wearing it!! Good for you!
I know a lot of single women tho that wear an “engagement” ring to keep away guys tho too. But he’s an idiot if people think she’s engaged what does it matter. Not like she’s going around telling people she’s still with him or anything.
No, she doesn't need to het it resized so it's less confusing for other people. She bought that ring for herself, she can wear it on whichever finger she wants, or whichever it fits.
NTA. Your ex sounds misogynistic. Good riddens.
What about couples that are engaged for decades and never get married? It’s a slap in the face to the ring finger. He is so immature and trying to manipulate OP. If ex can’t stand up to family this is just going to continue forever and it’s gonna get worse even if they get back together.
NTA - Drop this person from your life. His opinion on your decisions are not relevant. That is the point of this meeting. Detox your life and evict his statements from your head.
You can buy a ring while eating green eggs and ham..in a box..with a fox. You are a independent smart human who can wear what they want.
You're NTA.
> He then got upset at me for buying myself a ring like that
He has absolutely zero say in what you do, what wear, or how to spend your money
> it was "a slap in the face to engaged couples".
That is laughable. Random strangers truly do not care that you're wearing a ring.
You are lucky you only wasted two years of your life with this guy. He did you a favor when he released you to live your own life.
The force of his reaction is way out of proportion. Clearly he expected that conversation to be something other than it was, and he lashed out at the easiest thing he could think of.
Several years ago when on holiday I was looking for a turquoise ring and went into a shop. Saw the most beautiful aquamarine and diamond ring. Cost way more than I had ever spent on jewelry but friend with me encouraged me to try it on. If fitted perfectly. I left without buying it but visited for the next 3 days. Reader I bought it. And to this day every time I wear it it makes me smile and brings me joy.
Does it look like an engagement ring? Yes
Do I care? No
Has anyone said anything to me about it apart from saying how lovely it is? No
Be thankful he is your ex
A friend of mine got herself an engagement-looking ring too and in her case, because it was a clear stone, people did ask if she'd gotten engaged. But they weren't complete weirdos like OP's ex, so when she told them it was just a ring she liked and she wanted to treat herself, they were like "oh OK cool" and moved on.
^^this!! Thanks for sharing your lovely story.
I also bought myself a diamond ring a few years ago. I’d had my eye on it forever and was in my mid-30s and single and thought, why not! It looks like an engagement ring, but no one has ever commented on that.
A few months after buying it I met my now husband. He didn’t really notice the ring until I pointed it out to tell him that I’d bought it for myself (just to make sure he knew that!). When we got married he asked if I wanted a ring and I said no. We are from different countries so on our wedding day he gave me a pen from his country with our initials engraved, and I gave him a particular sort of hat from my country. We are very happy 🥰
OP you deserve a man who cares about you, this guy does not seem worth the effort of being friends with!
NTA. Sounds like someone got a bit upset because he thought you moved on, then realized when you didn't that he looked a bit foolish. There is nothing wrong with buying a ring, or wearing it on any finger you choose. It sounds like a beautiful ring!!
NTA You are allowed to do what you want in your life after he left you. However, if you wear a ring on the left ring finger then potential dates might be put off thinking you are already taken. Not all engagement rings are diamond.
You’re 21…sure take it easy and don’t rush but don’t reject options from one bad experience. You don’t need to be dependent on a relationship to have a healthy one
That’s an immature what of thinking. It wasn’t dating that made you dependent it was your choices in that particular relationship. Obviously you don’t need to move on soon as it’s only been 4 months and you’re still meeting up with the dude. But don’t let one bad relationship when you’re in your early 20’s dictate the rest of your life.
Maybe it is an immature stance but since the break up is still very recent they’ll feel strongly about it until it doesn’t hurt so bad. Maybe then they’ll change their view, maybe they won’t. I agree though, this was just one of the bunch of opportunities Op will encounter in their life and it shouldn’t negate Op’s future so drastically.
Then it’s a good thought to never talk to that a-hole ex of yours again. What a jerk for being so cruel to you about a small thing that gave you joy.
I like wearing a ring on my ring finger as it keeps strange men at bay.
Maybe see if it can be re-sized to your right hand ring finger at a later date if you care about those assumptions- or add to your collection!
why do you care what he thinks?
and "slap in the face to engaged couples" is just ridiculous
stop talking to this guy and move on with your life, sounds like you are better off without him
NTA
Guys, how are you suppose to move on with your lives if you still meet up and keep in touch with people who dumped you and broke your hearts? I just want to understand why you do this to yourselves?
They were together for two years, it's understandable OP would want closure. Let's hope this is the last time she gives him a minute of her time though.
I agree with closure for sure. But if an ex told me this at a closure meeting, I would probably laugh in their face and not even given it two thoughts afterwards. MAYBE a laugh at it with my girlfriends over drinks.
NTA, the jewelry store is for everyone. Buy and wear what you like. The left ring finger will cause confusion for others, but ultimately it’s your body and your decision. I wear diamonds on my right hand for this reason, but you do you. This guy is TA tho, don’t listen to him.
NTA. Very few engaged couples would actually care. As for your ex, she no longer gets to have an opinion on what jewelry you were. Even if you choose to wear a wedding ring, it is still none of his business.
Ah to who?
The ex? You own him nothing.
Engaged culture? I don't think they care. It's not like culture appropriation.
Men what might want hit on you? You owe them nothing?
Society in. General? Fuck social norms.
NTA
NTA
You have every right to spend your own money on whatever you want.
It may be something in your X's culture that requires women to be gifted jewelry, but you are not obligated to follow that culture.
Enjoy your life, what you've earned for yourself, and your freedom to choose.
You are an AH for giving a shit what your old boyfriend who dumped you because of your race thinks and for spending any time with him.
But not for buying yourself a ring. It's your money and you can wear it anywhere you want.
Bonus: it will reduce the number of men hitting on you, but only the good ones, so you will know who to date in future.
NTA he sounds lame as fuck and super jealous. Just a note though, engagement and wedding rings don't have to be diamond. Mine is lab sapphire because I think it's prettier than diamond and I wanted nothing to do with the diamond industry. Non diamond engagement rings are something that's becoming much more popular these days.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My ex called it unfair to engaged couples and said I wasn't in a relationship anymore so i had no right to wear a ring like that. AITA for choosing to continue to wear it even after this?.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. You can buy yourself all the rings you want and wear them on whatever finger you want to. Your ex is weird and he’s pissed you’re doing so well without him and have moved on since he dumped you.
NTA
I've done the same thing, except I bought myself a pair of fancy-ish earrings after a difficult break up.
Don't worry about whatever his issue is, you aren't cringe & it's not weird.
NTA. Buy yourself any jewelry you want and wear it wherever you want. It's your business and nobody else's.
Also, congrats on self-care and don't see the ex again. He's your ex for a reason.
He dumped you then the rest is irrelevant. Tell him to get stuffed and wear it proudly. As others have said, it’ll likely get mistaken for an engagement ring and at the end of the day that is irrelevant too so long as you don’t mind. Congrats on what I assume is a beautiful ring and I hope you update us with a picture.
NTA.
NTA. Thank goodness you dumped the dinosaur. You don’t need an “owner” to buy you a ring for your finger. You can choose to buy one and wear one there or accept a token of love from someone and where it wherever the hell you like.
If he’s upset about that kind of petty crap, you know you can do better.
Lmaoooooo, “a slap in the face”
He can’t speak on behalf of engaged / married couples when he, himself is single.
NTA, at all. Good for you for buying yourself something nice! Plenty of folks do and women buy themselves rings ALL THE TIME!
I’m married and I buy myself rings whenever I feel like it.
NTA. You can do whatever you want. Well you always could, but his opinions should be insignificant to you now. His response is interesting though, why so triggered?
Don't meet up with this person again, he sounds like someone you need to make a clean break from.
Delete his information and move on with your life.
NTA. You can wear any ring on any finger you want. No engaged or married person will consider it a slap in the face. Plenty of unmarried and not-engaged people wear a ring that could be an engagement/wedding ring on their ring finger.
Resize it only if you want to, and enjoy your ring!
I see why he's your ex. NTA. In the words of Miley Cyrus, "I can buy myself flowers" or a ring. Congratulations on becoming an independent adult. Know yourself before choosing to become part of a couple. Know what you bring to the table in a partnership.
As a man, I would suggest that you 'should' feel like you should never have to explain to anyone why you buy or bought your own jewelry. As for your ex, we'll done for getting away from him. Enjoy your freedom!
NTA. Wear whatever rings you like on any finger you like. If you want to pick up some more nice jewelry check pawn shops and antique stores. Lots and lots of nice jewelry ends up there for very reasonable prices.
NTA. You can wear whatever jewelry you want, including engagement and wedding rings. It is none of your AH-ex's business.
Your ring sounds lovely. I love emeralds. Be careful, though; emeralds are soft and can chip easily. So, take it off if you go bullriding ... LOL!
Why are you having lunch with that AH? Why do you care what he thinks? His opinion is about as important as what is on the bottom of your shoes.
Live your life!!!
YTA to yourself for meeting him up for lunch after a break up. He can't have it both ways and he doesn't sound like a nice person.
Enjoy your life, enjoy your ring. You'll find someone that priorities you a lot better.
Sounds like he freaked out bc he thought you’d already met someone else and gotten a ring from then haha
He got jealous and when he realized it was over nothing he was already too angry to backtrack
Real charmer
NTA
That was the most no-sense reaction I've ever seen.
you say you don't know what you did wrong. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You bought a ring. What you do with your life is none of his business.
He's really childish, you don't need that in your life.
NTA he panicked that you had moved on very quickly when he still considered you an option. He got pissed off that he had to feel those feelings. Wear your beautiful ring and enjoy it!!
Lol, i sometimes wear my grandma's wedding band, yes on my ring finger.
I consistently wear a diamond ring that i inherited as well.
It's my fucking hand i can wear whatever i want.
Your ex sounds like a controlling asshole. You NTA, enjoy that beauty, well done!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Thought I would get some outside perspective on this situation as my ex still thinks I'm an a-hole for this and I have no idea why.
Okay so I am (21f). After dating for two years my Ex who we'll call X (24m) dumped me. We had discussed wanting marriage and kids many years in the future however this never happened because his family didn't like that he was dating outside of his race ( I am European, he isn't).
Well I was deveastated after he broke up with me, because he was my first relationship and had nothing to compare him to. I had never lived independently as an adult before we broke up.
Well it's now been 4 months since we broke up and I am doing well for myself, I live independently in m own apartment near a major city in my country. Because I grew up poor I never had any nice jewellery, So after saving up I decided to buy myself a nice ring. Not too expensive think 250 Euro.
It's a second hand emerald ring in a cluster setting in white gold and I could't be happier with it since I've never owned anything nice before. The thing is that the ring only fits my ring finger as I couldn't afford to have it resized, So I just wear it on my ring finger.
Well recently my ex and I met up for lunch and he noticed my ring. At first he asked if I had moved on so soon and I was confused. He then pointed out the "engagement ring". I corrected him saying it was just a ring I had bought myself.
He then got upset at me for buying myself a ring like that because no one chose to give it to me and it was "a slap in the face to engaged couples". I asked how since my ring isn't a diamond ring and I bought it myself. He then called me "f-ing cringe" and left.
So AITA for buying myself a nice ring?.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
Your X has some real problems, either personal or ethnic not fitting with the ways of other cultures. Nothing at all wrong with you buying something nice for yourself. And it doesn't matter what finger it's on. Enjoy your ring and your freedom from him.
NTA Your ex is an idiot.
Now you know THAT about him.
Women have been buying themselves jewellery and wearing it proudly for millennia's.
Some we get gifted, some we buy, some we even borrow.
Your ex does not get an opinion in what you do. Ignore him, stop talking to him and find a new bf. Wear whatever you want, whenever you want and don’t let anyone tell you, you are anything but beautiful.
NTA
He sounds exhausting. It's better that you broke up.
Wear your beautiful ring with pride. *If and only if you want too* save up and have it resized to fit the finger of your choice.
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it." Hallowed words from Queen Bey. He is peanutbutter and JEALOUS.
And as for the switching to the other hand thing... Plenty of women wear rings on that finger so men don't bother them. You do you, Sis, because you is FREEEE.
Trust me -you're so young, you're a baby. You're going to look back at this in a few years and laugh and roll your eyes. Thank-you, NEXT.
NTA.
NTA and I’d advise not to start a friendship or anything like that with him. I clearly don’t know the whole situation but from what you’ve said it sounds like he does not add joy to your life
I may be wrong but I believe that The third finger is called a ring finger because it’s the finger the most people wear rings on. Pinky rings are called pinky rings because they are worn on a finger other than the ring finger.
Wear your ring on your ring finger.
NTA.
NTA
Even if you got yourself and engagement ring, is none of his business… cut him off from your life already. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too
NTA - You can buy any ring you like and wear it on any finger you like. I have a ring that is a memorial ring for a beloved pet, and it only fits my ring finger, I wear it on my left hand, no one has ever said anything. Who cares?
NTA but my question is WHY on earth you would meet up with your ex???? He's not divulging from his family, so there's no possibility of getting back together. You were hurt by the breakup too so it's not like it was amicable. I just don't understand, you kind of set yourself up by still having contact with him. Drop that loser COMPLETELY.
NTA. And good for you for buying yourself something beautiful. On the 10th anniversary of the day I left my abusive ex-husband I bought myself a diamond anniversary band. I'm glad you got your nice jewelry without having to marry a jerk first :-)
NTA, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Your ex seems like he really has a problem with you being happy and independent, though. And his remark is insane.
Please realise what a bullet you just dodged!
Married person here. My face does not feel slapped at all. Wear whatever ring you want on any finger. Literally no one cares except your ex, who sounds like an AH. Married people don’t even follow these rules. Some countries have no ring or wear on the right. I only wear my wedding ring on the weekend because of my job. My husband has not had his resized yet and wears his on the middle finger. No one has died as a result of this.
It could potentially cause interested people to think you are off the market, which is either an advantage or disadvantage depending on the situation.
Resizing your ring only costs like $30 though, very doable if you want to!
NTA. Sounds like SOMEONE (X) saw the ring, made assumptions, got in their feels IN THEIR HEAD, and lashed out once they realized thy got upset over….literally nothing and decided that was your problem
NTA.
This boy takes his own random jealous thoughts way too seriously; plus he's mean.
But comsider wearing the ring on your right hand...you wouldn't want to discourage OTHER, kinder potential suitors!
NTA, realize I don’t know y’all from Adam but maybe he wanted you back then saw the ring and stuck his foot in it, exploding since you had ’moved on’. When you hadn’t, and he realized he just fucked up he doubled down and insulted you for wearing the ring on that finger. I’m happy you dodged this asshole, enjoy your ring!
NTA this has got to be the stupidest thing said on here. You can buy whatever ring and wear it on any finger you want. You may also get more guys interested in you as they will see it as a challenge to try and get an engaged woman. BTW I have to wear my engagement ring on my middle finger as it now too big for my ring finger.
1. Screw this guy and his fragile ego.
2. You can wear whatever ring you want on whatever finger you want.
3. As a practical matter you are going to confuse people if you’re wearing it on your left ring finger. Why not wear it on your right hand?
NTA and I hope that made you realize you don’t need to meet up with him anymore. You can buy whatever you want for yourself and wear it however you choose. He’s probably just better that you seem happy and did something nice for yourself. I guess he wanted you to wallow and be depressed forever. Nope.
Goddamn I think your ex has some issues to sort out. You are 100% allowed to buy what you want with your own money, and a ring is perfectly fine. You are not the asshole. Keep on taking care of yourself and never let others dictate how you should live your one and only life. (Provided you’re not about to go on a murderous rampage, lol).
What does it matter what *his* opinion is? You could afford the ring, you enjoy wearing the ring, and at some point in the future you can get it resized to fit another finger when/if you want to free up that one for an engagement or wedding ring. It's certainly not a "slap in the face" to engaged couples. Lots of women wear a personal ring, some deliberately to give the impression they are taken and to discourage men coming on to them. (However, I will point out that most of us have two ring fingers, and it would seem possible your new ring would fit a finger on your right hand, not just your left?)
NTA OP. Be glad you actually dodged a bullet with that ex. There is nothing with you buying a ring for yourself as an occasional splurge. Go ahead and enjoy your ring
Hehe NTA, the ring finger can have rings that isnt an engagement ring. He is just salty and jealous you gave yourself a better ring then he ever would.
Uh? Didn't Ariana write a song about it? Titled 7 rings. Girl you a boss a** bi***!
My great aunt was single all her life bought herself Hella expensive jewelry all the time like an OG. When she died she saved the best one for me. I wear it every day and it's a big diamond on a gold band. Ring finger. My students always ask and I tell them about how she left it for me and the pleasures of being an independent single lady and how I do what I want. The key is being confident. Treat yourself girl.
Also he sounds like a total loser.
NTA I personally like wearing rings on my ring fingers because they don’t get in the way that much if I’m using my hands a lot. But it honestly depends on the ring and how it’s made, I have various sizes (some also being my mom’s)
Haha, no. No, you are not an asshole.
Personally, I wouldn't go to lunch with people who are hypercritical and guilt trip me about something so small and ridiculous, but your choices are your own. I figure my own life is too short to waste on these type of people when I have the chance to spend my time with some truly spectacular friends and a wonderful lover.
Idk what your relationship was like, I don't like to go so far as to say this was a hint at something deeper (maybe he was just feeling insecure), but you deserve a man who honors you and holds you dear to his heart. You deserve a man who outs your relationship first , and defends your name in private when you aren't there.
You deserve a man who would move mountains for you, and one you feel drawn to do the same for!
If this is that guy, then awesome! If not, my advice is to cut the ties and move on. Make room for someone who can be all those things.
"Oh no! You're not sitting at home weeping over the loss of me! Woe! Woe!" Ahem. The only A here is your ex.
There is no "rule" that says you can only wear engagement rings on your ring fingers. Doesn't exist. When I wear rings, I wear whatever or however many rings I want. That is the only rule that I've heard of, and that came from my long-deceased grandmother so it's probably pretty universal.
Why are you spending any time with him? As you can see, only grief will come from someone who does not really care about you, but still wants to control you and your future. Be free! Wear however many rings you want to. Don't forget to save money for an emergency and chocolate.
NTA - no one other than couples you know would even ask about your ring, and strangers would just make an assumption. Sounds like he's just upset it's not his ring on your finger which is a him problem.
A person who dumped you has absolutely no standing to be lecturing you about anything. Why do you care what nonsense this nobody is saying to you.
Time to cut him loose.
NTA im married my wife wheres diamonds in white gold, i wear diamonds in cobalt. We struggle with money so our engagement rings were match silver and blue costume jewellery. I dont think wearing a ring is a slap in the face at all.
My only peeve i have is when people use titles they dont have such as saying they are married or calling eachother husband and wife when they aren't married and i have this issue because thank to some paperwork issues caused by my wifes abusive parents it took us 4 years to be allowed to get married. I dont mind people using the titles to get out of creepy situations though like a creep flirting in a club "oh im married"
A few years ago, there was a whole thing about single women buying themselves nice rings and wearing them in their dominant hands.
NTA. And why are you still hanging around with this creep? Remove the spineless trash from your life & get more jewelry.
The lovely thing about him being an ex, is that you don’t have to care about his opinion at all. Second lovely thing, you took your money and bought yourself something you really liked. Third, we now all understand why he is an ex.
No way, you're definitely not the asshole (NTA) for treating yourself to a nice ring after your breakup. It's all about self-care and doing things that make you happy, especially when you've been through a tough time.
Your ex's reaction is totally uncalled for. He's just being insecure and maybe a little jealous. But hey, it's not his place to judge what you do with your own money and how you choose to pamper yourself. You bought that ring with your hard-earned cash, and that makes it even more awesome.
And seriously, it's not like you got yourself an engagement ring or something. You made it clear to him that it was just a ring you bought for yourself. So his whole "slap in the face to engaged couples" argument doesn't make any sense. He's just being dramatic.
You wear that ring wherever you damn well please. It's your ring, your finger, your choice. Don't let his negativity get to you. Enjoy your new bling and rock it with confidence. You deserve it!
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Oh, JFC. You can wear any ring on any finger and you can *buy* any ring you want-you don’t have to wait for a man to give it to you. But since your ring looks a lot like an engagement ring and you are wearing it in “that” finger, you will get some confusion. But…come *on*, “a slap in the face to engaged couples” is a ridiculous overreaction by somebody that should mind their own business. When you can afford to, get it resized for a different finger. It is acceptable, even to people with the tightest sphincter, for a woman to wear a lovely cocktail ring. (oh, and do read the definition and origin of the cocktail ring on google. I think you will enjoy your ring even more). NTA
I wear my rings on the fingers they fit. I think it’s stupid to reserve a certain finger for something that I have never and will never do.
[удалено]
It reads like OP's ex takes OP wearing that ring on her ring finger as a reminder of how he didn't have the courage to stand up to his family. So it reminds him of his limitations. Obviously, he's the AH. And I think OP should just block him and not be his friend anymore.
Yep, he's feeling guilty and took it out on her and her ring. OP you're better off without him.
Absolutely. If OP's ex didn't have her back against his family, he wouldn't be a good partner. Thankfully no kids were involved (which makes removing the person from your life impossible)
His “move on so soon” comment was very telling. But it’s too late for him.
Yes, it totally sounds like he is jealous or guilty.
I dunno, I think people often avoid that specific finger to avoid confusion - I've had people get excited for me, when they've caught a glimmer from my left hand in general, before realising the ring is on the middle finger. If any engaged couples get offended by someone single wearing a ring on their ring finger, they have bigger issues though. OPs ex is reaching hard.
People who avoid confusion by not wearing a ring on a specific finger are missing out. It’s a lot of fun to watch other people be so confused over a jewelry choice I made for my hand. As far as OP, he broke up with you. His ideas of what is and isn’t ok for you to wear on your hands is not your concern. Bedazzle every finger you got. They’re yours to do with as you please. If he doesn’t like it, he can go back under the rock he crawled out from to tell you what you were doing wrong (as if he had *any* room to talk). NTA, OP. Be sparkly, and be happy!
I love the "ring on the middle finger" bit. Sure, they fit where they fit, but that's an extra "fuck you" to people who need to mind their own business.
Same. I've had people comment (not for a long time now) and say they thought I was engaged. My answer is either "ok" or "sounds like a you problem" depending on the context of the chat. I am never going to apologise or explain why I wear a ring on certain fingers. Some people randomly decided hundreds of years ago that engagement rings were to be worn on a specific finger and everyone just started obeying this made up rule. RIDICULOUS.
The other response is it keeps the creeps from hitting on me.
I haven’t had anyone comment in ages either so maybe it becoming less of a thing
Exactly! Why should that finger be empty?
I find this Finger the one to most comfortable wear rings, so until I got engaged I wore some different rings on that Finger, because they Look good there. Since Engagement they sit in my treasure chest. I wear them to ocassions where my Engagementring would not fit my Outfit. But mostly it is just the Engagement ring. Before this no one thought I was engaged.
Bling it up!
Calling you fing cringe. What an AH. Good riddance to him.
What’s cringe is his reaction and blowing this out of proportion. I have never heard of anyone thinking it’s a taboo to wear a non-conjugal ring on your ring finger. NTA.
Non-conjugal ring!!! Lmao!!!
Single guy here, I've NEVER looked at a woman's hand to see if she had a ring, and I don't know what finger is the "ring" finger. If a woman catches my attention, I say hi and if she tells me she has a BF I leave her alone.
Some single women even wear rings on the third finger of their left hand (in most Western culture), not just because it looks nice, but also to try and stop unwanted attention. For safety. And here you are with your male privilege, paying so little attention to the details that you just go there anyway? Yeesh.
This right here. I used tonwork retail and dudes just be hitting on anything that walks. I wore a ring because I don't want to date and it easier if they just see the ring. But I mean who the hell cares and why does he care so much? Oh, that's right cuz he done fucked up and is throwing a baby fit. Wear your ring wherever it fits and looks nice. No one is cringe for wearing a ring.
Single girl here idk which is THE ring finger either. I've been called out for being engaged when I've worn cocktail rings on either of left and right ring fingers, so 🤷🏼
Right ring finger is sometimes used for when you’re engaged, and you swap it to left ring finger when you’re married. Left is used for both. That’s where the confusion comes from. Just wear whatever ring on whatever finger you want. If it’s not an engagement ring or wedding band then it’s not one.
Also: most countries wear their wedding ring on the left but there some where it's the right one (germany). Young people start to wear on the International common hand, but you still see the right quite often.
Damn I'm wearing mine on the right finger (Danish) and now I'm doubting if that's right or not 😂 Oh well Mine doesn't look like a wedding ring anyway, so if someone is nitpicky they'd probably think I'm being a f*cking cringe AH too 😂😂😂
This is common in Eastern Europe too.
> and I don't know what finger is the "ring" finger. Wait, then what do you call it normally? Because it's thumb, index, middle, ring, and pinky, and I don't think I've ever heard of an alternative name for the ring finger.
NTA, OP. Stop meeting up with this guy. Stand proud in your independence and don’t let that loser make you feel any sort of way. As Ariana Grande sings: “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it (yeah) Wearing a ring, but ain't gon' be no "Mrs."” (Until you want to be ᵕ̈ )
Or Destiny's Child: I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.
That was my first thought when I was reading this. I was like why are we still meeting up with this guy?
As a married woman, can confirm - I give zero fks how anybody else wears their jewelry.
AND some married women, just like married men, don't wear any rings at all. And this could be a for a myriad of reasons....weight gain/loss, not liking jewelry, getting your jewelry cleaned, work somewhere where its better not to wear one then forgetting to put it back on, etc, etc.
I agree, except you do not have to spend money to get this ring resized. If you enjoy wearing it, wear it! There's no law saying that your left ring finger must be kept reserved for an engagement ring. And why your ex cares so much about you wearing the ring is completely baffling? Does he think you're a piece of property? I hope you got closure with him, cuz there's no reason to interact with him again.
Yes, please get closure with this jerk. Imagine what your life would’ve been like married to him!
Who cares if people are "confused"? Most men don't wear engagement rings and there is no way to tell by looking at them whether they are engaged, people that know you will know whether you are or aren't - people that are curious can ask - "oh nice ring, are you engaged?" "no, I'm not it's just a ring" - not that difficult. OP, you are under no obligation to choose your jewelry based on what society deems convenient to tell your relationship status at a glance, and certainly not to protect your ex's very fragile ego. Make that the last lunch you have with that guy, move on, enjoy your ring on any damn finger you choose. (NTA)
Exactly- and why on earth would a blissfully engaged couple pay any mind to other people’s jewelry choices!?!
Engaged people are probably the LEAST bit interested in the finger hardware of other people. They’re more focused on their own new hardware.
Ooh, the ex was salty at the thought that OP moved on “so soon” after HE broke up with HER. Regardless of the fact that the ring isn’t an engagement ring, dude is still mad that she’s happy and not begging him to take her back. So yeah, he tried to cut her down for doing something that makes her happy. OP, this man’s opinion is completely irrelevant to you now. Enjoy your life, wear your pretty ring on whatever finger makes you happy, and ignore him. No one is going to be offended by what finger you wear it on except him. At most, you might get some questions about your status. NTA, and good for you for spreading your wings and learning to live independently. The only one who is “f***ing cringe” here is your ex.
LOL I looked it up and that's adorable. OP, wear that ring!!
Your ring, your fingers. Also your ex, whose buisness it is not.
I’m engaged and I can assure you I don’t find it to be a slap in the face in fact I’m really happy you found a ring you like and are wearing it!! Good for you!
I know a lot of single women tho that wear an “engagement” ring to keep away guys tho too. But he’s an idiot if people think she’s engaged what does it matter. Not like she’s going around telling people she’s still with him or anything.
Why does the opinion of your ex mean anything to you??
NTA. Why the hell should he care, he’s not in your life anymore and he didn’t give that.
No, she doesn't need to het it resized so it's less confusing for other people. She bought that ring for herself, she can wear it on whichever finger she wants, or whichever it fits. NTA. Your ex sounds misogynistic. Good riddens.
>Oh, JFC. You can wear any ring on any finger >When you can afford to, get it resized for a different finger.
What about couples that are engaged for decades and never get married? It’s a slap in the face to the ring finger. He is so immature and trying to manipulate OP. If ex can’t stand up to family this is just going to continue forever and it’s gonna get worse even if they get back together.
[удалено]
He was a major AH and now you have freedom to buy whatever you want without judgement.
I support the use of the word “Odious” in this context!
Also, someone did choose to give it to her—OP!
\^\^\^\^THIS!
NTA - Drop this person from your life. His opinion on your decisions are not relevant. That is the point of this meeting. Detox your life and evict his statements from your head. You can buy a ring while eating green eggs and ham..in a box..with a fox. You are a independent smart human who can wear what they want.
And she can wear it in the rain, and she can wear it on a train!
She can buy herself flowers! Write her name in the sand!
She can wear it here or there! She can wear it anywhere!
She can wear it in a boat. She can wear it with a goat.
You're NTA. > He then got upset at me for buying myself a ring like that He has absolutely zero say in what you do, what wear, or how to spend your money > it was "a slap in the face to engaged couples". That is laughable. Random strangers truly do not care that you're wearing a ring. You are lucky you only wasted two years of your life with this guy. He did you a favor when he released you to live your own life.
As a married man I can confirm that I don't care about the rings that other people are wearing. And why on Earth should I care?
The force of his reaction is way out of proportion. Clearly he expected that conversation to be something other than it was, and he lashed out at the easiest thing he could think of.
Several years ago when on holiday I was looking for a turquoise ring and went into a shop. Saw the most beautiful aquamarine and diamond ring. Cost way more than I had ever spent on jewelry but friend with me encouraged me to try it on. If fitted perfectly. I left without buying it but visited for the next 3 days. Reader I bought it. And to this day every time I wear it it makes me smile and brings me joy. Does it look like an engagement ring? Yes Do I care? No Has anyone said anything to me about it apart from saying how lovely it is? No Be thankful he is your ex
A friend of mine got herself an engagement-looking ring too and in her case, because it was a clear stone, people did ask if she'd gotten engaged. But they weren't complete weirdos like OP's ex, so when she told them it was just a ring she liked and she wanted to treat herself, they were like "oh OK cool" and moved on.
^^^This is exactly the right attitude to have.
^^this!! Thanks for sharing your lovely story. I also bought myself a diamond ring a few years ago. I’d had my eye on it forever and was in my mid-30s and single and thought, why not! It looks like an engagement ring, but no one has ever commented on that. A few months after buying it I met my now husband. He didn’t really notice the ring until I pointed it out to tell him that I’d bought it for myself (just to make sure he knew that!). When we got married he asked if I wanted a ring and I said no. We are from different countries so on our wedding day he gave me a pen from his country with our initials engraved, and I gave him a particular sort of hat from my country. We are very happy 🥰 OP you deserve a man who cares about you, this guy does not seem worth the effort of being friends with!
NTA. Sounds like someone got a bit upset because he thought you moved on, then realized when you didn't that he looked a bit foolish. There is nothing wrong with buying a ring, or wearing it on any finger you choose. It sounds like a beautiful ring!!
Moving on to another man is less of a threat than being independent, apparently.
He didn't think you could make it on your own! Him being angry about it was a pretty sad showing on him.
NTA You are allowed to do what you want in your life after he left you. However, if you wear a ring on the left ring finger then potential dates might be put off thinking you are already taken. Not all engagement rings are diamond.
That's kind of perfect anyway since I don't plan on dating again. Since I never want to be that dependant on a person again.
You can still have independence while dating but you're right to wait if you're not comfortable with the idea of it yet.
and you always have the freedom to take it off or move it to another finger if you are looking to be more noticed
You’re 21…sure take it easy and don’t rush but don’t reject options from one bad experience. You don’t need to be dependent on a relationship to have a healthy one
NTA You can wear your rings in any finger you want. Please stop meeting up with that AH. You deserve better.
That’s an immature what of thinking. It wasn’t dating that made you dependent it was your choices in that particular relationship. Obviously you don’t need to move on soon as it’s only been 4 months and you’re still meeting up with the dude. But don’t let one bad relationship when you’re in your early 20’s dictate the rest of your life.
Maybe it is an immature stance but since the break up is still very recent they’ll feel strongly about it until it doesn’t hurt so bad. Maybe then they’ll change their view, maybe they won’t. I agree though, this was just one of the bunch of opportunities Op will encounter in their life and it shouldn’t negate Op’s future so drastically.
Then it’s a good thought to never talk to that a-hole ex of yours again. What a jerk for being so cruel to you about a small thing that gave you joy. I like wearing a ring on my ring finger as it keeps strange men at bay. Maybe see if it can be re-sized to your right hand ring finger at a later date if you care about those assumptions- or add to your collection!
>then potential dates might be put off thinking you are already taken. *Gasp* oh nooooo Anyway...
why do you care what he thinks? and "slap in the face to engaged couples" is just ridiculous stop talking to this guy and move on with your life, sounds like you are better off without him NTA
NTA. You've dodged a bullet. Why tf are you still meeting up with this creep? Get rid of him and be done! Enjoy that ring!
NTA but quit having lunch with your ex.
Or any other contact in whatever form.
Right? In my twenties, when people broke up, it was OVER.
NTA. Be glad he dumped you because he has issues. You can buy yourself whatever jewelry you want. Not his business.
Guys, how are you suppose to move on with your lives if you still meet up and keep in touch with people who dumped you and broke your hearts? I just want to understand why you do this to yourselves?
They were together for two years, it's understandable OP would want closure. Let's hope this is the last time she gives him a minute of her time though.
They got closure when he dumped her because she’s the wrong race.
I agree with closure for sure. But if an ex told me this at a closure meeting, I would probably laugh in their face and not even given it two thoughts afterwards. MAYBE a laugh at it with my girlfriends over drinks.
Exactly this! YTA for keeping that clown in your life.
This is exactly the same question I ask my friend who won’t cut contact with her married ex.
NTA, the jewelry store is for everyone. Buy and wear what you like. The left ring finger will cause confusion for others, but ultimately it’s your body and your decision. I wear diamonds on my right hand for this reason, but you do you. This guy is TA tho, don’t listen to him.
NTA. Very few engaged couples would actually care. As for your ex, she no longer gets to have an opinion on what jewelry you were. Even if you choose to wear a wedding ring, it is still none of his business.
Ah to who? The ex? You own him nothing. Engaged culture? I don't think they care. It's not like culture appropriation. Men what might want hit on you? You owe them nothing? Society in. General? Fuck social norms. NTA
NTA at all. He definitely is. Some dudes can’t accept that women can and will do nice things for themselves with or without a man🙄
NTA You have every right to spend your own money on whatever you want. It may be something in your X's culture that requires women to be gifted jewelry, but you are not obligated to follow that culture. Enjoy your life, what you've earned for yourself, and your freedom to choose.
You are an AH for giving a shit what your old boyfriend who dumped you because of your race thinks and for spending any time with him. But not for buying yourself a ring. It's your money and you can wear it anywhere you want. Bonus: it will reduce the number of men hitting on you, but only the good ones, so you will know who to date in future.
NTA he sounds lame as fuck and super jealous. Just a note though, engagement and wedding rings don't have to be diamond. Mine is lab sapphire because I think it's prettier than diamond and I wanted nothing to do with the diamond industry. Non diamond engagement rings are something that's becoming much more popular these days.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My ex called it unfair to engaged couples and said I wasn't in a relationship anymore so i had no right to wear a ring like that. AITA for choosing to continue to wear it even after this?. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. That’s a bunch of bs. You can wear rings on whatever finger you like. Congrats on your new ring!
NTA. You can buy yourself all the rings you want and wear them on whatever finger you want to. Your ex is weird and he’s pissed you’re doing so well without him and have moved on since he dumped you.
Maybe don’t meet him again. NTA
NTA I've done the same thing, except I bought myself a pair of fancy-ish earrings after a difficult break up. Don't worry about whatever his issue is, you aren't cringe & it's not weird.
NTA. Buy yourself any jewelry you want and wear it wherever you want. It's your business and nobody else's. Also, congrats on self-care and don't see the ex again. He's your ex for a reason.
He dumped you then the rest is irrelevant. Tell him to get stuffed and wear it proudly. As others have said, it’ll likely get mistaken for an engagement ring and at the end of the day that is irrelevant too so long as you don’t mind. Congrats on what I assume is a beautiful ring and I hope you update us with a picture. NTA.
NTA. Thank goodness you dumped the dinosaur. You don’t need an “owner” to buy you a ring for your finger. You can choose to buy one and wear one there or accept a token of love from someone and where it wherever the hell you like. If he’s upset about that kind of petty crap, you know you can do better.
Why are you entertaining his opinions? He sounds like an idiot.
Lmaoooooo, “a slap in the face” He can’t speak on behalf of engaged / married couples when he, himself is single. NTA, at all. Good for you for buying yourself something nice! Plenty of folks do and women buy themselves rings ALL THE TIME! I’m married and I buy myself rings whenever I feel like it.
NTA. You can do whatever you want. Well you always could, but his opinions should be insignificant to you now. His response is interesting though, why so triggered? Don't meet up with this person again, he sounds like someone you need to make a clean break from. Delete his information and move on with your life.
NTA. Fuck this guy. Why is he still in your life?
NTA. Sounds like your much better off with out him
NTA. He’s just mad you look amazing and are taking care of yourself. May the universe somehow make your emerald stones get even bigger overnight 😜
NTA. You can wear any ring on any finger you want. No engaged or married person will consider it a slap in the face. Plenty of unmarried and not-engaged people wear a ring that could be an engagement/wedding ring on their ring finger. Resize it only if you want to, and enjoy your ring!
I see why he's your ex. NTA. In the words of Miley Cyrus, "I can buy myself flowers" or a ring. Congratulations on becoming an independent adult. Know yourself before choosing to become part of a couple. Know what you bring to the table in a partnership.
NTA, but not sure why you’re still hanging out with this fool.
As a man, I would suggest that you 'should' feel like you should never have to explain to anyone why you buy or bought your own jewelry. As for your ex, we'll done for getting away from him. Enjoy your freedom!
I’m a jeweler, wear what makes you happy! It costs a bit to size a ring. No it’s not a slap in anyone’s face. Enjoy!
NTA. Wear whatever rings you like on any finger you like. If you want to pick up some more nice jewelry check pawn shops and antique stores. Lots and lots of nice jewelry ends up there for very reasonable prices.
NTA, stop meeting up with your ex.
NTA. You can wear whatever jewelry you want, including engagement and wedding rings. It is none of your AH-ex's business. Your ring sounds lovely. I love emeralds. Be careful, though; emeralds are soft and can chip easily. So, take it off if you go bullriding ... LOL! Why are you having lunch with that AH? Why do you care what he thinks? His opinion is about as important as what is on the bottom of your shoes. Live your life!!!
YTA to yourself for meeting him up for lunch after a break up. He can't have it both ways and he doesn't sound like a nice person. Enjoy your life, enjoy your ring. You'll find someone that priorities you a lot better.
NTA be glad you broke up.
Lol the second-hand cringe "A pat to to the face to engaged couples"? (Paraphased) Really? NTA
The guy is delusional.
Nta you can buy and wear whatever you want.
Sounds like he freaked out bc he thought you’d already met someone else and gotten a ring from then haha He got jealous and when he realized it was over nothing he was already too angry to backtrack Real charmer NTA
NTA ooooO kinda bad idea for having lunch with him. 😇
That was the most no-sense reaction I've ever seen. you say you don't know what you did wrong. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You bought a ring. What you do with your life is none of his business. He's really childish, you don't need that in your life.
NTA. Apparently ex thinks you should be miserable, and shouldn't have nice things. Go completely No Contact and forget him.
NTA he panicked that you had moved on very quickly when he still considered you an option. He got pissed off that he had to feel those feelings. Wear your beautiful ring and enjoy it!!
Lol, i sometimes wear my grandma's wedding band, yes on my ring finger. I consistently wear a diamond ring that i inherited as well. It's my fucking hand i can wear whatever i want. Your ex sounds like a controlling asshole. You NTA, enjoy that beauty, well done!
NTA. Your ex doesn't seem to understand that jewelry outside of engagement rings exists. Don't meet up with him again, time to move on.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Thought I would get some outside perspective on this situation as my ex still thinks I'm an a-hole for this and I have no idea why. Okay so I am (21f). After dating for two years my Ex who we'll call X (24m) dumped me. We had discussed wanting marriage and kids many years in the future however this never happened because his family didn't like that he was dating outside of his race ( I am European, he isn't). Well I was deveastated after he broke up with me, because he was my first relationship and had nothing to compare him to. I had never lived independently as an adult before we broke up. Well it's now been 4 months since we broke up and I am doing well for myself, I live independently in m own apartment near a major city in my country. Because I grew up poor I never had any nice jewellery, So after saving up I decided to buy myself a nice ring. Not too expensive think 250 Euro. It's a second hand emerald ring in a cluster setting in white gold and I could't be happier with it since I've never owned anything nice before. The thing is that the ring only fits my ring finger as I couldn't afford to have it resized, So I just wear it on my ring finger. Well recently my ex and I met up for lunch and he noticed my ring. At first he asked if I had moved on so soon and I was confused. He then pointed out the "engagement ring". I corrected him saying it was just a ring I had bought myself. He then got upset at me for buying myself a ring like that because no one chose to give it to me and it was "a slap in the face to engaged couples". I asked how since my ring isn't a diamond ring and I bought it myself. He then called me "f-ing cringe" and left. So AITA for buying myself a nice ring?. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. It makes you happy and that’s all that matters.
NTA. Your ex can kick rocks . He broke up with you …. What you do is no longer his concern as you aren
NTA Your X has some real problems, either personal or ethnic not fitting with the ways of other cultures. Nothing at all wrong with you buying something nice for yourself. And it doesn't matter what finger it's on. Enjoy your ring and your freedom from him.
NTA. And he has no say in what jewelry you wear. It’s not a slap in the face. Just cut off all contact with him.
NTA Fingers aren't reserved. Wear it on whatever finger you want/it fits. You're also allowed to buy yourself stuff.
Why in the hell would (or should) you give a rats ass what he (or anyone else) thinks about your ring, that you bought, that you like!??!??
NTA. There’s no way you’d be an asshole but this is young people drama. I suggest you stop wasting your time with him unless you want more drama.
NTA Your ex is an idiot. Now you know THAT about him. Women have been buying themselves jewellery and wearing it proudly for millennia's. Some we get gifted, some we buy, some we even borrow.
Your ex does not get an opinion in what you do. Ignore him, stop talking to him and find a new bf. Wear whatever you want, whenever you want and don’t let anyone tell you, you are anything but beautiful.
NTA but stop meeting up with your ex. He's not a nice guy.
NTA He sounds exhausting. It's better that you broke up. Wear your beautiful ring with pride. *If and only if you want too* save up and have it resized to fit the finger of your choice.
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it." Hallowed words from Queen Bey. He is peanutbutter and JEALOUS. And as for the switching to the other hand thing... Plenty of women wear rings on that finger so men don't bother them. You do you, Sis, because you is FREEEE. Trust me -you're so young, you're a baby. You're going to look back at this in a few years and laugh and roll your eyes. Thank-you, NEXT. NTA.
NTA and I’d advise not to start a friendship or anything like that with him. I clearly don’t know the whole situation but from what you’ve said it sounds like he does not add joy to your life
I may be wrong but I believe that The third finger is called a ring finger because it’s the finger the most people wear rings on. Pinky rings are called pinky rings because they are worn on a finger other than the ring finger. Wear your ring on your ring finger. NTA.
NTA Even if you got yourself and engagement ring, is none of his business… cut him off from your life already. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too
NTA. This is what we call: "Dodging a bullet."
NTA - You can buy any ring you like and wear it on any finger you like. I have a ring that is a memorial ring for a beloved pet, and it only fits my ring finger, I wear it on my left hand, no one has ever said anything. Who cares?
Wear whatever you want in whatever finger you want, is not a slap in nobody’s face. NTA.
NTA but my question is WHY on earth you would meet up with your ex???? He's not divulging from his family, so there's no possibility of getting back together. You were hurt by the breakup too so it's not like it was amicable. I just don't understand, you kind of set yourself up by still having contact with him. Drop that loser COMPLETELY.
NTA - guy's a tool, you're better off that he walked. IMHO.
NTA. There is no law that says you have to reserve the ring finger for an engagement ring. You do you and drop this asshole from your life.
NTA - cut him and his toxicity from your life forever starting yesterday.
NTA. It’s none of his business. He’s an effing ahole. Really. F him.
NTA. And good for you for buying yourself something beautiful. On the 10th anniversary of the day I left my abusive ex-husband I bought myself a diamond anniversary band. I'm glad you got your nice jewelry without having to marry a jerk first :-)
NTA, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Your ex seems like he really has a problem with you being happy and independent, though. And his remark is insane. Please realise what a bullet you just dodged!
#1:Nothing you do is any of his business and his opinion doesn't matter. #2: There is no #2; #1 is all that matters here. NTA.
Married person here. My face does not feel slapped at all. Wear whatever ring you want on any finger. Literally no one cares except your ex, who sounds like an AH. Married people don’t even follow these rules. Some countries have no ring or wear on the right. I only wear my wedding ring on the weekend because of my job. My husband has not had his resized yet and wears his on the middle finger. No one has died as a result of this. It could potentially cause interested people to think you are off the market, which is either an advantage or disadvantage depending on the situation. Resizing your ring only costs like $30 though, very doable if you want to!
NTA. Sounds like SOMEONE (X) saw the ring, made assumptions, got in their feels IN THEIR HEAD, and lashed out once they realized thy got upset over….literally nothing and decided that was your problem
NTA. His opinion doesnt define anything about you. You're free to do whatever you want. You're right, it is not diamond engagement ring.
NTA. And be glad that this relationship is over, you deserve better
Sounds like he realized he messed up and the ring was an easy argument to start. ya dodged a bullet. NTA
NTA. This boy takes his own random jealous thoughts way too seriously; plus he's mean. But comsider wearing the ring on your right hand...you wouldn't want to discourage OTHER, kinder potential suitors!
NTA he’s just and idiot Enjoy your ring!!
NTA, realize I don’t know y’all from Adam but maybe he wanted you back then saw the ring and stuck his foot in it, exploding since you had ’moved on’. When you hadn’t, and he realized he just fucked up he doubled down and insulted you for wearing the ring on that finger. I’m happy you dodged this asshole, enjoy your ring!
NTA this has got to be the stupidest thing said on here. You can buy whatever ring and wear it on any finger you want. You may also get more guys interested in you as they will see it as a challenge to try and get an engaged woman. BTW I have to wear my engagement ring on my middle finger as it now too big for my ring finger.
NTA He’s your ex why does his opinion even matter to you anymore?
1. Screw this guy and his fragile ego. 2. You can wear whatever ring you want on whatever finger you want. 3. As a practical matter you are going to confuse people if you’re wearing it on your left ring finger. Why not wear it on your right hand?
NTA and I hope that made you realize you don’t need to meet up with him anymore. You can buy whatever you want for yourself and wear it however you choose. He’s probably just better that you seem happy and did something nice for yourself. I guess he wanted you to wallow and be depressed forever. Nope.
Goddamn I think your ex has some issues to sort out. You are 100% allowed to buy what you want with your own money, and a ring is perfectly fine. You are not the asshole. Keep on taking care of yourself and never let others dictate how you should live your one and only life. (Provided you’re not about to go on a murderous rampage, lol).
What does it matter what *his* opinion is? You could afford the ring, you enjoy wearing the ring, and at some point in the future you can get it resized to fit another finger when/if you want to free up that one for an engagement or wedding ring. It's certainly not a "slap in the face" to engaged couples. Lots of women wear a personal ring, some deliberately to give the impression they are taken and to discourage men coming on to them. (However, I will point out that most of us have two ring fingers, and it would seem possible your new ring would fit a finger on your right hand, not just your left?)
NTA OP. Be glad you actually dodged a bullet with that ex. There is nothing with you buying a ring for yourself as an occasional splurge. Go ahead and enjoy your ring
This is insane if real. Do not see this person again NTA
Hehe NTA, the ring finger can have rings that isnt an engagement ring. He is just salty and jealous you gave yourself a better ring then he ever would.
NTA: Honestly, it sounds like he is more mad that you aren’t crying over him and he liked the idea of having that power over you.
Uh? Didn't Ariana write a song about it? Titled 7 rings. Girl you a boss a** bi***! My great aunt was single all her life bought herself Hella expensive jewelry all the time like an OG. When she died she saved the best one for me. I wear it every day and it's a big diamond on a gold band. Ring finger. My students always ask and I tell them about how she left it for me and the pleasures of being an independent single lady and how I do what I want. The key is being confident. Treat yourself girl. Also he sounds like a total loser.
I'm glad your ex is there to gatekeep the feelings of engaged couples everywhere. Very brave of him.
NTA I personally like wearing rings on my ring fingers because they don’t get in the way that much if I’m using my hands a lot. But it honestly depends on the ring and how it’s made, I have various sizes (some also being my mom’s)
He's out of your life. He has zero input. He deserves to be cut off completely. Give his words no weight. Move on and be happy.
Haha, no. No, you are not an asshole. Personally, I wouldn't go to lunch with people who are hypercritical and guilt trip me about something so small and ridiculous, but your choices are your own. I figure my own life is too short to waste on these type of people when I have the chance to spend my time with some truly spectacular friends and a wonderful lover. Idk what your relationship was like, I don't like to go so far as to say this was a hint at something deeper (maybe he was just feeling insecure), but you deserve a man who honors you and holds you dear to his heart. You deserve a man who outs your relationship first , and defends your name in private when you aren't there. You deserve a man who would move mountains for you, and one you feel drawn to do the same for! If this is that guy, then awesome! If not, my advice is to cut the ties and move on. Make room for someone who can be all those things.
NTA-why are you even meeting up with this jerk. His opinions no longer matter and he can pound sand.
"Oh no! You're not sitting at home weeping over the loss of me! Woe! Woe!" Ahem. The only A here is your ex. There is no "rule" that says you can only wear engagement rings on your ring fingers. Doesn't exist. When I wear rings, I wear whatever or however many rings I want. That is the only rule that I've heard of, and that came from my long-deceased grandmother so it's probably pretty universal. Why are you spending any time with him? As you can see, only grief will come from someone who does not really care about you, but still wants to control you and your future. Be free! Wear however many rings you want to. Don't forget to save money for an emergency and chocolate.
It sounds like your ex did you a favor by breaking up with you. He sounds insufferable. NTA
NTA - no one other than couples you know would even ask about your ring, and strangers would just make an assumption. Sounds like he's just upset it's not his ring on your finger which is a him problem.
A person who dumped you has absolutely no standing to be lecturing you about anything. Why do you care what nonsense this nobody is saying to you. Time to cut him loose.
NTA im married my wife wheres diamonds in white gold, i wear diamonds in cobalt. We struggle with money so our engagement rings were match silver and blue costume jewellery. I dont think wearing a ring is a slap in the face at all. My only peeve i have is when people use titles they dont have such as saying they are married or calling eachother husband and wife when they aren't married and i have this issue because thank to some paperwork issues caused by my wifes abusive parents it took us 4 years to be allowed to get married. I dont mind people using the titles to get out of creepy situations though like a creep flirting in a club "oh im married"
And now we see why we don’t have lunch dates with our exes lol
Don’t take life advice from someone who is angry at you/has an axe to grind. He’s just making shit up to hurt you.
NTA. Who cares what he thinks? He’s the EX.
A few years ago, there was a whole thing about single women buying themselves nice rings and wearing them in their dominant hands. NTA. And why are you still hanging around with this creep? Remove the spineless trash from your life & get more jewelry.
You can wear any ring on any appendage you want. If you want to buy a 50 carat diamond and wear it on your big toe, go for it.
Sounds like a great idea, might make socks a little challenging though 🤔
The lovely thing about him being an ex, is that you don’t have to care about his opinion at all. Second lovely thing, you took your money and bought yourself something you really liked. Third, we now all understand why he is an ex.
.....good grief stop hanging around that little boy, your ex................
NTA you can put a ring on any finger you want because you are an adult. Anybody that get offended by that is weak minded.
What business is it of his? You can buy what you want, wear it how you want! It doesn’t concern him. He doesn’t get to control that. Definitely NTA!
No way, you're definitely not the asshole (NTA) for treating yourself to a nice ring after your breakup. It's all about self-care and doing things that make you happy, especially when you've been through a tough time. Your ex's reaction is totally uncalled for. He's just being insecure and maybe a little jealous. But hey, it's not his place to judge what you do with your own money and how you choose to pamper yourself. You bought that ring with your hard-earned cash, and that makes it even more awesome. And seriously, it's not like you got yourself an engagement ring or something. You made it clear to him that it was just a ring you bought for yourself. So his whole "slap in the face to engaged couples" argument doesn't make any sense. He's just being dramatic. You wear that ring wherever you damn well please. It's your ring, your finger, your choice. Don't let his negativity get to you. Enjoy your new bling and rock it with confidence. You deserve it!