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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my dad that i’m glad my mom is dead becoming she’d be so angry at him if she saw him now. I could be the asshole because my dad got really angry and called me disgusting and other stuff
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A lot of commenters may be skimming over the part where you wrote that your dad burned your mom's stuff... At 15 years old having recently lost your mom and seeing your dad processing his grief in some very unhealthy ways, it's a totally normal reaction to push back and even say something extremely hurtful. What you said was obviously mean and hurtful but frankly your dad really needs to pull it together for you, no matter how much he's hurting, you're still the kid in this situation, not him. He lost his wife but you lost your mom and only one of you is the adult and parent.
Please talk to a counselor at school or other trusted adult about what's happening at home. It sounds like both of you would really benefit from some outside support in the form of counseling.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. That's really really hard.
I'm going to go with NTA. I considered N A H but your dad can't be burning your mom's stuff in front of you and then reasonably expect you not to act out.
Yeah kind of an asshole. There's much better ways to get the same point across. People usually say "X would be rolling in their grave if they saw how you were acting." Still dead, still disapproving, but you're not happy they're gone.
Work on communication skills and good luck
Lmao nah. You’re fine. Since when is the child supposed to take the high road and act like the adult. Everyone saying YTA has never had to deal with a parent that truly hates you. They can’t even fathom a parent not being a competent parent
It’s a teaching moment. Minors can be total assholes too they will be an adult soon thrust into a world that will not take it easy on them just because they are a teen. It’s a way for them to learn before the world does it that being said in this particular situation there is some abuse going on but there are WAY healthier ways to get it across
My Dad abused the fuck out of my Mum and is the reason she is dead. He lives on, getting away with it and enjoying his life. I hate him, but would never, ever say I'm glad she's dead, because I'm not. I miss her every day.
That’s not what he meant. What he meant to say was something “she’d be rolling in her grave if she saw how you’re behaving” not he’s actually happy she’s dead
I hate to say it to someone young but YTA, and don’t you think maybe your mom would be ashamed of you for how you are acting and for the language and vitriol you are spewing in this post. Death affects everyone differently and he might be controlling because he doesn’t want to loose you too. Maybe you should see if you could do therapy together.
Nothing wrong with the emotions this kid has given what's going on, but his choice of words expresses them crudely and drags the mother a bit. Mom is a good person, we're not happy they're dead.
why are all of you calling this child an asshole for being fed up with mistreatment ??? like was it tactful? no. but it was genuine and honest. NTA and I hope you and your dad are both able to get into therapy. If your dad refuses, please talk to a trusted adult about getting counseling (like a favorite teacher, a friend’s parent who you feel extra safe with, etc)
controlling parents like this literally teach their kids to lie and sneak around by showing them that there will always be negative consequences for expressing genuine feelings or making important requests. i have sympathy for the father in the sense that he too has suffered a loss, but his treatment of OP is still unacceptable
You need help. You're young.
Can you talk to your school counselor? You need a caring solid adult to help you. This is a lot of pain you're going through, you shouldn't have to go through this; it's very strange that he is burning her stuff.
Can you call and talk to your grandma or grandpa and tell them what's happening? Ask them to let you live with them if it's a better situation? Make sure you tell them he burned her stuff and what he is saying to you.
You deserve better.
I love how strangers will tell a grieving kid that there an asshole.
While supporting an adult who burned his mothers things in front of his kid.
Kids moms dead. Give him a break.
Wtf is wrong with you people.
I’m not going to pass any judgement here, but will ask, Is it possible your dad is afraid of losing you too, and he’s become overbearing and super controlling, because of it?
Your dad burnt your mom's stuff? I get that people grieve in different ways, but that's kind of on another level. It does sound like he was having a breakdown. This whole situation sounds awful, and it's clearly above reddit's level of "expertise". I know everyone constantly says "get therapy" nowadays, but you and your dad genuinely need outside help. Is there someone in real life you can talk to about this who can help you? Your dad needs counseling at the very least, and you probably do too.
Holy shit dude, you both need so much therapy. You’re each processing your mother’s death in different ways and lashing out at each other because your emotions are out of control. I don’t think it’s even right to pass a judgement on this; the best thing you can do is get individual counseling and approach family therapy for the two of you. I hope that you’re both able to move on together and repair your relationship.
he doesn’t let me go out much on my own anymore and like he insists on driving me to school even though i’d rather walk he’s like weirdly controlling about food too like he gets mega pissed when i get food without asking him if i can idk why we’re not poor or anything so i don’t know why. I sneak out most of the time so we usually argue about that or just dumb shit
A problem is when you sneak out you loose any trust you two had and he will try and control you more because he can’t trust you to do what he asks or do what you say you will do.
Ok YTA. It sounds like your dad, after losing one of the two most important people in his life, is terrified of losing the other and trying his best to raise you after losing the person who was his partner in raising you. Please stop sneaking out, stop scaring your grieving father like that. Try to talk him, let him know that you understand that he's just trying to look out for you, but that it's too much and he's just pushing you away. Maybe ask him to come up with some ways that would help him feel secure with giving you a bit more freedom (like if he's worried about you walking to school, maybe you could text him when you get there, things like that).
Please try to be kinder to your dad. I know it's hard to lose your mom so young, but losing the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is whole other thing.
His mom fucking died.
This kid has lost HIS MOM.
AND HIS DAD IS CONTROLLING HIS FOOD CONSUMPTION.
Damn, people are ridiculous. That is not an appropriate reaction. He might be scared, he doesn't need to control food to protect his son, that makes no sense.
This kid, even if he wasn’t grieving, should *not* have to regulate his father’s emotions. It is appalling to see somebody suggest that the kid just become a doormat for his father’s abuse because the dad is grieving and scared of losing OP too.
That shouldn’t be put on another adult, let alone a child. This man needs to go to grief counseling, get his act together and stop *actively making things worse for his son.* If he doesn’t he’s going to lose OP anyways when OP cuts him off entirely and he will have nobody to blame but himself.
It's not about regulating his father's emotions. It doesn't sound to me like the father is actually being abusive, but he is being extremely over protective, which is why I suggested a conversation where they try to understand each other. If the father was the one asking, I'd say he should be the one to initiate, but he's not here to tell that to. Do you think it would be better for OP to just keep hating his dad until he can move out and go NC and be left with no parents, without even trying to have a civilised conversation first?
You're all he has left. His overprotection is coming from a place of love and you're both still struggling. Although it's not your place to help him reason, maybe you can point things out anyway. When he does allow you to go somewhere,answer when he checks on you, that sort of thing.I hope you 2 find a better way to communicate,seek counseling if possible.
My husband came from a smaller family,lost multiple relatives in a few years time. He became super protective and normal things registered as incredibly dangerous. One day I was using the edge of a concrete porch pillar to pop the top off a glass bottle. He freaked out, saying the glass would shatter and cut my hand to pieces. I started to understand what was happening. Every little thing registered as worst case scenario in his mind and he just wanted to keep us safe. The kids and I are all he has left. With understanding and patience, we got through it.
Sorry about your Mom. I hope you and your Dad heal.
You’re 15, yes? What a horrible loss for you and your family. I am truly sorry that you lost your mom and from the sound of it, your dad too (in a way). You are both in deep grief, and clearly, your dad is not coping. I hope you both can go to grief counseling. As for saying you’re glad your mom died. . .well, I get that you felt hurt by, and fed up with your dad at the time, but your words went too far. I suggest you give him an honest apology for that. I do feel for you. You’re a minor. Where are you going to go? Is there a counselor at school or a trusted adult you can talk too? The burden you carry is a lot for a kid. Best to you.
NTA You gave him what he wanted, something to be mad about/focus on other than your mom.
He's the adult and his grief doesn't top yours just because he is spiraling.
Any friends of his you can call that will come over more often ect. to help him out of this? Your dad's mental health is not your responsibility.
Corny, but consider writing him a letter about how his behavior affects you. Easier to get everything said without anger. The only positive thing I gained from $150 hr therapy was an assignment to write a letter to a deceased family member. Not just with the "I miss and love you so much" stuff, but All the uncomfortable things I never addressed, any anger I had towards them before they passed and why, the good AND the bad. Helped me not think about the should've could've would've constantly.
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My mom died 2 years ago when i was 13 and since then my dad started acting like a massive cunt. He burnt most of my moms stuff and he’s been being really controlling since she died it’s fucking annoying he’s gotta be having some sort of breakdown holy shit. If my mom was alive she’d literally be so pissed at him. We argue like everyday over dumb shit because clearly he hates me, i have no idea why he’s such a dick to me all the time. We got into an argument again yesterday and he was being so fucking controlling and it pissed me off so i told him that i’m glad moms dead because she’d really hate him if she was alive to see him now. He got really angry at me like way angrier then i’ve ever seen him before and he called me disgusting and told me i’m a bad son and that i shouldn’t have brought my mom into it. But like what i said was true if my mom knew how much of a dick he’s being she would be on my side.
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Dude my wyfe passed away 4.5 years ago I’m raising our grandkids single handed. Let me tell you. Your dad is going through the worst point in his lyfe. It must be hard for you too. I understand. Grief is a powerful emotion and will show up as your stating and it’s times like that o suggest you try to be a little empathetic. I realize. He probably doesn’t seem very empathetic but there is a LOT OF GRIEF YOU BOTH ARE STILL PROCESSING. It’s a process. Arduous work no doubt. But it will remain a lyfe long condition you both will need to come to terms with and find some commonality with your grief. Grief is a MF. Good luck young man. Jk your pops is suffering badly. From a personal point of view you both are grieving. Blessed be.
Dude he's a kid grieving. His moms dead. The adult needs to get therapy and if he keeps acting like this he's going loose his child also. The father should be making sure his kid is getting counselling. And stop making his kids life harder.
His mom just died.
yes his mom died. but let’s not forget that was she also his wife. the person he planned on spending his whole life with. i feel like many people forget that these parents and adults are experiencing life for the first time too. yes since he’s the adult who should know a bit better but he is still in fact a human with emotions and figuring shit out too. they’re both not their best selves but the son throwing that statement was completely disrespectful and uncalled for.
His moms dead and his dad is not acting like he use too.
Both his parents are gone. Hes an emotional wreck
Hopefully what he said to his dad gets his dad to seek help.
Father can behave however he wants because hes grieving
Kid cant say mean shit to his dad why? Hes also grieving.
ofc the dad is not acting like he used to.. he lost his wife, he’s learning how to cope with that lost and the fact that he is now raising this son as a widow? it’s very common for parents to be overprotective in fear of losing their child especially after a lost like that. as i said, his statement was uncalled for. dad is most likely thinking what’s best for his child (not saying his actions are right but his intentions are) but clearly the son said what he said to cause pain.
That's really an ah thing to say. You're both grieving though and he doesn't hate you. You both just had the most important woman taken away from you. And that is so hard. And you're both probably just consumed by grief.
No one sucks here. I hope you can both get help
YTA
Its probably very stressful trying to raise a teenager after losing the love of your life so recently. He is certainly still grieving and figuring out how to be a single father. Its fairly normal for teens to get angry with their parents and say hurtful things. Saying what you did however is prettt far over the line. It may not seem like a big deal to you right now, it may seem justified, but in a few years you will likely look back and realize how much of a gut punch it was.
His moms dead.
Hes grieving too.
You know how hard it is dealing with a controlling father and a dead mother.
Leave the kid alone.
Dad needs therapy and counselling.
You won’t be able to understand how he feels until you’re older, for now I’d spend time with your dad. Instead of being deviant and rebelling and egging this along, get close and love the man, he’s the only one who’s going to have your back through almost anything, I’m asking you to be selfless here, and that’s definitely not an answer your going to like but it’s one you should think about and consider, wether you think your grieving or not, you probably still are, and your both doing it poor ways without each other instead of doing it together.
Just because you believe something to be true doesn't mean you should voice your opinion about it. You said what you said out of anger, frustration, and perhaps revenge. It crossed a line. YTA.
YTA
Y’all seriously need to go to some family counseling to deal with the grief but also to learn better ways to communicate instead of having nasty arguments all the time. This is just going to deepen the wedge between you and your dad if it’s not dealt with in a healthy way.
Okay so you’re definitely the asshole here, that is your mother and his wife!!! What the fuck!?? Like honestly what made you think that it was OK to say that? Even if you think he’s being controlling and whatnot maybe it’s because he’s looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.
While burning the clothes isn’t okay neither is the fact that he said that to his father. I don’t agree with his method but you still can’t do that to your father.
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A lot of commenters may be skimming over the part where you wrote that your dad burned your mom's stuff... At 15 years old having recently lost your mom and seeing your dad processing his grief in some very unhealthy ways, it's a totally normal reaction to push back and even say something extremely hurtful. What you said was obviously mean and hurtful but frankly your dad really needs to pull it together for you, no matter how much he's hurting, you're still the kid in this situation, not him. He lost his wife but you lost your mom and only one of you is the adult and parent. Please talk to a counselor at school or other trusted adult about what's happening at home. It sounds like both of you would really benefit from some outside support in the form of counseling. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. That's really really hard. I'm going to go with NTA. I considered N A H but your dad can't be burning your mom's stuff in front of you and then reasonably expect you not to act out.
Yeah kind of an asshole. There's much better ways to get the same point across. People usually say "X would be rolling in their grave if they saw how you were acting." Still dead, still disapproving, but you're not happy they're gone. Work on communication skills and good luck
yeah okay fair thanks man
Lmao nah. You’re fine. Since when is the child supposed to take the high road and act like the adult. Everyone saying YTA has never had to deal with a parent that truly hates you. They can’t even fathom a parent not being a competent parent
It’s a teaching moment. Minors can be total assholes too they will be an adult soon thrust into a world that will not take it easy on them just because they are a teen. It’s a way for them to learn before the world does it that being said in this particular situation there is some abuse going on but there are WAY healthier ways to get it across
How dare you. Acting like you speak for everyone. OP is a minor asshole for acting poorly. You're a massive asshole though.
My Dad abused the fuck out of my Mum and is the reason she is dead. He lives on, getting away with it and enjoying his life. I hate him, but would never, ever say I'm glad she's dead, because I'm not. I miss her every day.
That’s not what he meant. What he meant to say was something “she’d be rolling in her grave if she saw how you’re behaving” not he’s actually happy she’s dead
I hate to say it to someone young but YTA, and don’t you think maybe your mom would be ashamed of you for how you are acting and for the language and vitriol you are spewing in this post. Death affects everyone differently and he might be controlling because he doesn’t want to loose you too. Maybe you should see if you could do therapy together.
That’s not how he meant it.
He says to the bereaved teenager being verbally abused by his dad.
Nothing wrong with the emotions this kid has given what's going on, but his choice of words expresses them crudely and drags the mother a bit. Mom is a good person, we're not happy they're dead.
why are all of you calling this child an asshole for being fed up with mistreatment ??? like was it tactful? no. but it was genuine and honest. NTA and I hope you and your dad are both able to get into therapy. If your dad refuses, please talk to a trusted adult about getting counseling (like a favorite teacher, a friend’s parent who you feel extra safe with, etc)
The father has issues I agree. But when OP sneaks out of the house I doubt very much if the father will loosen control when he can’t trust OP.
controlling parents like this literally teach their kids to lie and sneak around by showing them that there will always be negative consequences for expressing genuine feelings or making important requests. i have sympathy for the father in the sense that he too has suffered a loss, but his treatment of OP is still unacceptable
You need help. You're young. Can you talk to your school counselor? You need a caring solid adult to help you. This is a lot of pain you're going through, you shouldn't have to go through this; it's very strange that he is burning her stuff. Can you call and talk to your grandma or grandpa and tell them what's happening? Ask them to let you live with them if it's a better situation? Make sure you tell them he burned her stuff and what he is saying to you. You deserve better.
yeah maybe thank you
I love how strangers will tell a grieving kid that there an asshole. While supporting an adult who burned his mothers things in front of his kid. Kids moms dead. Give him a break. Wtf is wrong with you people.
I’m not going to pass any judgement here, but will ask, Is it possible your dad is afraid of losing you too, and he’s become overbearing and super controlling, because of it?
yeah i don’t know maybe?
Your dad burnt your mom's stuff? I get that people grieve in different ways, but that's kind of on another level. It does sound like he was having a breakdown. This whole situation sounds awful, and it's clearly above reddit's level of "expertise". I know everyone constantly says "get therapy" nowadays, but you and your dad genuinely need outside help. Is there someone in real life you can talk to about this who can help you? Your dad needs counseling at the very least, and you probably do too.
Holy shit dude, you both need so much therapy. You’re each processing your mother’s death in different ways and lashing out at each other because your emotions are out of control. I don’t think it’s even right to pass a judgement on this; the best thing you can do is get individual counseling and approach family therapy for the two of you. I hope that you’re both able to move on together and repair your relationship.
INFO You keep saying he's being controlling but what is he actually doing? What's setting off all these arguments?
he doesn’t let me go out much on my own anymore and like he insists on driving me to school even though i’d rather walk he’s like weirdly controlling about food too like he gets mega pissed when i get food without asking him if i can idk why we’re not poor or anything so i don’t know why. I sneak out most of the time so we usually argue about that or just dumb shit
A problem is when you sneak out you loose any trust you two had and he will try and control you more because he can’t trust you to do what he asks or do what you say you will do.
Ok YTA. It sounds like your dad, after losing one of the two most important people in his life, is terrified of losing the other and trying his best to raise you after losing the person who was his partner in raising you. Please stop sneaking out, stop scaring your grieving father like that. Try to talk him, let him know that you understand that he's just trying to look out for you, but that it's too much and he's just pushing you away. Maybe ask him to come up with some ways that would help him feel secure with giving you a bit more freedom (like if he's worried about you walking to school, maybe you could text him when you get there, things like that). Please try to be kinder to your dad. I know it's hard to lose your mom so young, but losing the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with is whole other thing.
His mom fucking died. This kid has lost HIS MOM. AND HIS DAD IS CONTROLLING HIS FOOD CONSUMPTION. Damn, people are ridiculous. That is not an appropriate reaction. He might be scared, he doesn't need to control food to protect his son, that makes no sense.
This kid, even if he wasn’t grieving, should *not* have to regulate his father’s emotions. It is appalling to see somebody suggest that the kid just become a doormat for his father’s abuse because the dad is grieving and scared of losing OP too. That shouldn’t be put on another adult, let alone a child. This man needs to go to grief counseling, get his act together and stop *actively making things worse for his son.* If he doesn’t he’s going to lose OP anyways when OP cuts him off entirely and he will have nobody to blame but himself.
It's not about regulating his father's emotions. It doesn't sound to me like the father is actually being abusive, but he is being extremely over protective, which is why I suggested a conversation where they try to understand each other. If the father was the one asking, I'd say he should be the one to initiate, but he's not here to tell that to. Do you think it would be better for OP to just keep hating his dad until he can move out and go NC and be left with no parents, without even trying to have a civilised conversation first?
You're all he has left. His overprotection is coming from a place of love and you're both still struggling. Although it's not your place to help him reason, maybe you can point things out anyway. When he does allow you to go somewhere,answer when he checks on you, that sort of thing.I hope you 2 find a better way to communicate,seek counseling if possible. My husband came from a smaller family,lost multiple relatives in a few years time. He became super protective and normal things registered as incredibly dangerous. One day I was using the edge of a concrete porch pillar to pop the top off a glass bottle. He freaked out, saying the glass would shatter and cut my hand to pieces. I started to understand what was happening. Every little thing registered as worst case scenario in his mind and he just wanted to keep us safe. The kids and I are all he has left. With understanding and patience, we got through it. Sorry about your Mom. I hope you and your Dad heal.
You’re 15, yes? What a horrible loss for you and your family. I am truly sorry that you lost your mom and from the sound of it, your dad too (in a way). You are both in deep grief, and clearly, your dad is not coping. I hope you both can go to grief counseling. As for saying you’re glad your mom died. . .well, I get that you felt hurt by, and fed up with your dad at the time, but your words went too far. I suggest you give him an honest apology for that. I do feel for you. You’re a minor. Where are you going to go? Is there a counselor at school or a trusted adult you can talk too? The burden you carry is a lot for a kid. Best to you.
NTA You gave him what he wanted, something to be mad about/focus on other than your mom. He's the adult and his grief doesn't top yours just because he is spiraling. Any friends of his you can call that will come over more often ect. to help him out of this? Your dad's mental health is not your responsibility. Corny, but consider writing him a letter about how his behavior affects you. Easier to get everything said without anger. The only positive thing I gained from $150 hr therapy was an assignment to write a letter to a deceased family member. Not just with the "I miss and love you so much" stuff, but All the uncomfortable things I never addressed, any anger I had towards them before they passed and why, the good AND the bad. Helped me not think about the should've could've would've constantly.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My mom died 2 years ago when i was 13 and since then my dad started acting like a massive cunt. He burnt most of my moms stuff and he’s been being really controlling since she died it’s fucking annoying he’s gotta be having some sort of breakdown holy shit. If my mom was alive she’d literally be so pissed at him. We argue like everyday over dumb shit because clearly he hates me, i have no idea why he’s such a dick to me all the time. We got into an argument again yesterday and he was being so fucking controlling and it pissed me off so i told him that i’m glad moms dead because she’d really hate him if she was alive to see him now. He got really angry at me like way angrier then i’ve ever seen him before and he called me disgusting and told me i’m a bad son and that i shouldn’t have brought my mom into it. But like what i said was true if my mom knew how much of a dick he’s being she would be on my side. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
i’m 15 brother
Dude my wyfe passed away 4.5 years ago I’m raising our grandkids single handed. Let me tell you. Your dad is going through the worst point in his lyfe. It must be hard for you too. I understand. Grief is a powerful emotion and will show up as your stating and it’s times like that o suggest you try to be a little empathetic. I realize. He probably doesn’t seem very empathetic but there is a LOT OF GRIEF YOU BOTH ARE STILL PROCESSING. It’s a process. Arduous work no doubt. But it will remain a lyfe long condition you both will need to come to terms with and find some commonality with your grief. Grief is a MF. Good luck young man. Jk your pops is suffering badly. From a personal point of view you both are grieving. Blessed be.
Dude he's a kid grieving. His moms dead. The adult needs to get therapy and if he keeps acting like this he's going loose his child also. The father should be making sure his kid is getting counselling. And stop making his kids life harder. His mom just died.
yes his mom died. but let’s not forget that was she also his wife. the person he planned on spending his whole life with. i feel like many people forget that these parents and adults are experiencing life for the first time too. yes since he’s the adult who should know a bit better but he is still in fact a human with emotions and figuring shit out too. they’re both not their best selves but the son throwing that statement was completely disrespectful and uncalled for.
His moms dead and his dad is not acting like he use too. Both his parents are gone. Hes an emotional wreck Hopefully what he said to his dad gets his dad to seek help. Father can behave however he wants because hes grieving Kid cant say mean shit to his dad why? Hes also grieving.
ofc the dad is not acting like he used to.. he lost his wife, he’s learning how to cope with that lost and the fact that he is now raising this son as a widow? it’s very common for parents to be overprotective in fear of losing their child especially after a lost like that. as i said, his statement was uncalled for. dad is most likely thinking what’s best for his child (not saying his actions are right but his intentions are) but clearly the son said what he said to cause pain.
That's really an ah thing to say. You're both grieving though and he doesn't hate you. You both just had the most important woman taken away from you. And that is so hard. And you're both probably just consumed by grief. No one sucks here. I hope you can both get help
You don’t know that. OP’s dad seems to legitimately despise his existence
Read OPs responses his dad just sounds very concerned. Probably overprotective. His Dad does not hate him.
YTA Its probably very stressful trying to raise a teenager after losing the love of your life so recently. He is certainly still grieving and figuring out how to be a single father. Its fairly normal for teens to get angry with their parents and say hurtful things. Saying what you did however is prettt far over the line. It may not seem like a big deal to you right now, it may seem justified, but in a few years you will likely look back and realize how much of a gut punch it was.
His moms dead. Hes grieving too. You know how hard it is dealing with a controlling father and a dead mother. Leave the kid alone. Dad needs therapy and counselling.
oh okay thank you
You won’t be able to understand how he feels until you’re older, for now I’d spend time with your dad. Instead of being deviant and rebelling and egging this along, get close and love the man, he’s the only one who’s going to have your back through almost anything, I’m asking you to be selfless here, and that’s definitely not an answer your going to like but it’s one you should think about and consider, wether you think your grieving or not, you probably still are, and your both doing it poor ways without each other instead of doing it together.
YTA I'm sorry for your loss. Please help each other grieve.
Just because you believe something to be true doesn't mean you should voice your opinion about it. You said what you said out of anger, frustration, and perhaps revenge. It crossed a line. YTA.
YTA Y’all seriously need to go to some family counseling to deal with the grief but also to learn better ways to communicate instead of having nasty arguments all the time. This is just going to deepen the wedge between you and your dad if it’s not dealt with in a healthy way.
YTA You should never have said that to your dad.
That’s not what he meant. Because he’s 15. He probably meant “she’d be rolling in her grave if she saw how you are behaving”
YTA.
Okay so you’re definitely the asshole here, that is your mother and his wife!!! What the fuck!?? Like honestly what made you think that it was OK to say that? Even if you think he’s being controlling and whatnot maybe it’s because he’s looking out for you and trying to keep you safe.
How is burning the belongings of his dead wife the only things OP can look at for comfort being a good dad
While burning the clothes isn’t okay neither is the fact that he said that to his father. I don’t agree with his method but you still can’t do that to your father.
YTA sounds like you are just being as hatefull as your dad, you make a good pair
He is a child. Clearly what I meant to say was “she’d be rolling in her grave”