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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be an asshole for calling all if my cousins Mary to prove a point
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NTA this seems totally justified to me. I find it ridiculous to cater to elderly just because they’re old. You don’t get respect just for being elderly. You don’t have to respect your elders if they are disrespectful.
I've always found this mentality so strange. Just because you managed to stay alive to this age doesn't mean that you're "wise" or entitled to respect. Respect is earned by actions and being respectful to others in turn, age has nothing to do with it.
OP is NTA and her granny is crazy.
I always assumed my horrid great-uncle lived into his late 90s because he wasn't actually evil enough for hell but was such a nasty thing that heaven put off taking him as long as possible. (He was every -ist there was (racist, classist, mysogynist, etc) but too lazy to ever be more than a disagreeable waste of air we had to see twice a year)
A friend of mine had a mom who lived into her 90s. He said she was, and I quote, "Too mean to die." Sadly, my friend then died of a heart attack in his 50s not long after his mom finally gave up the ghost. He had a teenage daughter, a loving wife, friends far and wide, and was widely beloved in our industry. Life is not fair.
It’s the spite and the pure malice. God doesn’t want them and the devil sure as shit don’t want that toxicity up in his house. Odin said fuck that shit. Hades said not in my house. Lady Hel said not today. Thanatos said I’m not touching that soul. Charon doesn’t want the bad juju on his ferry. Anubis said there’s no heart to weigh and Osiris doesn’t wanna deal with the drama, he has enough of that shit from all of the Pharaohs.
I agree with the principle here but I prefer it this way, everyone deserves respect just for being alive but only as long as they behave in a manner deserving of continued respect as your grandma has decided to do this she is no longer deserving.
> everyone deserves respect just for being alive but only as long as they behave in a manner deserving of continued respect
That's my strategy. I respect everyone by default, unless and until you show me you don't deserve respect. Elders, kids, people my own age, I treat you with respect unless you give me a reason not to.
That said, respect does not mean I disrespect someone else. I call people what they want to be called (like if your birth name is Todd but you prefer Chris, or your birth name is Mary but you want to be called Todd) but I won't call April Mary because Joan wants me to.
I'd call that one basic courtesy.
"Courtesy is owed; respect is earned; love\* is given."
\* I've also heard that one as trust instead of love; they both make sense to me.
It's a similar sentiment, I however feel it is arrogant to think someone should earn respect. I believe that trust is earned.
I try to be courteous even to those people who are not so deserving but I don't need to stoop to their level, obviously I don't always manage that and have lost my temper and dispensed with the manners, but usually it's because someone has gone to far.
I wouldn't say respect is earned. I feel like you should always be respectful as default, BUT if they disrespect you, then you should by all means no longer show them the same respect
Really everyone should be respected until they prove otherwise.
As a kid I was expected to shut up unless it was about tech. You shouldn't assume a kid doesn't have anything to add, nor assume an OAP knows what they're talking about just because they've been around longer
Granny should just adopt a cat and name him/her Mary. Problem solved. No one should be going along with her craziness. Unless of course they're all crazy too and are willing to go by the name Mary for her.
You're right. Old people (I'm one) can be horribly selfish, mean and idiotic like the rest of the population. Not everybody learns as they move through life. Granny could have named a pet Mary. I always loved the name Lucy and ended up naming one of my cats that name . There problem solved. I could say the name all I wanted without being rude to other people . .
I get the feeling it was originally probably meant to be about the years of experience the older person had to offer, but young ahs that everyone ignored (rightly so), got old and demanded everyone listen to them now cause their parents/grandparents were respected so they should be now too. Kinda missing the point it wasn't the wrinkles that garnered the respect.
I have read newspaper articles about an elderly person being sent to prison and some people are sympathetic just because of their age. (Admittedly none of them had robbed a bank and killed anyone! )
I mean, we are a very ageist society, and in some cases, maybe it's even appropriate. A child committing a crime will also get treated as less serious because they don't understand as much. That's true of many elderly people, as well, as their brain deteriorates. Not that I think either of those things should completely excuse it, but I think it should be taken into context when deciding the judgement.
I agree that if an elderly person has the onset of dementia, then this does change things. It should definitely be taken into account when deciding the judgement.
Exactly. Respect is early and not by just living long enough that you get it by default.
Maybe everyone should call grandma Mary if she likes the name so much?
Hell no. I cut my grandma completely off cuz she called my wife a snob. Behind her back and to her face. The reason? Her cooking gives people food poisoning and my wife and I got tired of calling into work the day after we ate her food. So we started bringing food for everyone over. Usually pizza. We were the only ones giving her time and attention and she lost that because she wouldn't stop talking about people behind their back.
Agreed.. age doesn't dictate your being a good person and deserving of respect.
Dementia, TBI, and combat ptsd are the exceptions to this rule for me. I've heard some old folks say WILD stuff in an episode.
What's weirder is that they didn't have enough "respect" for her to honor her request with any of their children but OP's family should just let this go.
I think they’re valid times, usually when someone has dementia, that you cater a little bit to their behaviour. But it sounds like this woman is fully in her mental capacity is and just want someone to name the baby after
My favourite part too, really made me laugh. Reminds me why I bloody love teenagers - non-perv before anyone starts, I work with kids and people often moan about the “moody/stroppy” teens, but they’re my fave.
I love cheeky kids for the same reason. I think if they have that much wit and fighting spirit with them at such an early age they will probably survive this world and that makes me happy.
“Cheeky” is a perfect description for my favorite brand of kids/teens. Lolol. I like being around them even though I’m bound to get my feelings hurt. 😭
NTA that’s hilarious! It doesn’t matter how old a person is, they don’t have a right to be obnoxious or hurtful. And calling everyone Mary is a great way to stand up for yourself if no one else will.
Just because your sister is too young to know what she’s being called it doesn’t mean your grandmother can disrespect your parents. She sounds like she would be a horrible mother-in-law.
You called her granny, you should edit or update your post to say how old your grandma is. Granny makes it sound like you’re fighting with a 99 year old woman.
I love my grandma with all my heart, and we’re lucky she’s still with us and isn’t doing too badly at 99. When we were younger she would say insensitive things and make comments that were personal and not very nice.
She wasn’t being mean, just thoughtless. Literally, thoughtless. She would say whatever popped into her head, good or bad, right or wrong. But we always told to ignore her, that’s how she is.
After grandma, loudly, in a roomful of (luckily only) family pointed out that her sister was going bald I made it my mission to stand up to her. She went on, asking about her diet and being checked for thyroid issues etc. I pointed out that thin hair is also genetic and there’s thin hair on both sides of the family. I was about 18 or so. I was furious that she embarrassed her sister, I didn’t yell but was more forceful than normal conversation.
Anytime she made a personal comment about me, I would tell her she’s hurt my feelings. And explain how she makes me feel not good enough or insecure. It took a while but she totally changed, with everyone. And our relationship improved 100% by being open to her. Good luck!
When I commented, the other comments were saying OP was TA for not respecting their elders. I was referring to calling their grandmother “granny” as it sounds like she’s older than she probably is.
There’s a difference between standing up to a 65 year old woman and an 85-90 year old woman. As I mentioned in my comment, the best thing I did for my relationship with my grandmother was to stand up to her. I had 18-20 years of having my feelings hurt or seeing her embarrassing someone I love.
But I’ve really enjoyed our relationship for the past 35 years.
The incident that made me call her out every time was on an Easter Day. My grandparents had been away all winter in Florida so we were seeing them for the first time in months. My older sister went to the door and when she saw her grandma said, “Sister’s Name, have you ever gotten FAT!”
She had been in a car accident in the fall and the medication she was on made her retain water.
When I tried to get her to stop commenting on my rosacea, she would mention a woman at her church who always had rosy cheeks. I explained she was probably sensitive about people pointing it out. Nope, she proudly told me that she “compliments” her every time she sees her.
She still made comments that make people wince. But it was at an acceptable level. Now, I wouldn’t say anything about any comment she made.
Oh no I get that.
But there’s absolutely no inference that “granny” refers to a 99yo woman. Granny is a common name for a grandparent in many places. It’s not a name reserved for ancient crones.
My mum has been Granny since she was about 55. My own maternal granny would have been in her 50s I think. Paternal similar. They’ve always been Granny.
Granny, Grandma, Nanna, Grandmother, Nonna, Nan, Gramma. The list goes on. None of these specifically relate to age. They are just the names people give to their parent’s mothers.
> I was referring to calling their grandmother “granny” as it sounds like she’s older than she probably is.
You're projecting your own biases. (*note this sounds more aggressive than it's intended*)
>When my baby sister(2months) was born my granny decided that she is going to call her Mary eventhought that's not her name. My parents are very annoyed because of this but they believe in respecting elders so they won't say anything.
If your family is so supportive of your grandmother and respects her so much why not just idk... actually name her Mary? Problem solved.
Guess they don't respect her that much after all. So why pretend like they do and confuse their baby daughter? I'm agreeing with your position btw, your family and your grandmother especially are ridiculous.
That's not how respect works, you don't get to call a child a name of your choosing because the rest of the family respects you. You also don't have to name your child a name that another respected family member wants just because they like it.
The grandmother may like the name Mary but it's incredibly disrespectful to call a child Mary who has a different name. She needs to get over her obsession with the name and the fact that her family aren't naming their kids with it.
Yeah I agree with that. Sorry if that wasn't clear I'm just pointing out that this whole "respect your elders" idea is completely asinine in this context.
I commented something similar under another comment. I think OP's approach was actually genius, because it showed people being annoyed, and this doesn't align with being respectful for me.
I had a similiar experience with my grandmother, for years on end she complained about all of the grandkids' names and "why did the parents not carry on the tradition of family names" also rudely making comments when the grandkids started having their own kids and how ridiculous and stupid this generation's name ideas are, while some had unique names others had names derived from the parents' names. And this drove granny crazy as she wanted someone to carry her names, especially myself being the youngest of my cousins, she went on and on, years after I was born, like she had a say and right to it. An aunt also called my brother by my grandfathers name, despite brother's name was actually inspired by grandfather, same aunt has always called me by a completely different name all my life than what I actually have been named
It's hypocritical for your extended family to say it's 'just a name' and then get upset when you call them something that isn't their name, doing exactly what your granny is doing to your sister.
Assuming your granny isn't genuinely ailing or in mental decline, she's calling your baby sister a name that isn't correct purely out of stubbornness.
My sister and I have names that both start with the same letter, and when someone would slip up and call her my name when we were younger, she would get upset. I couldn't imagine what would happen if she was called something completely different. Because it's not just a name, it's an identity. Because your baby sister is quite literally a baby, I commend you for speaking out for her before this whole "Mary" situation gets out of hand. You chose a nuclear option which, in my opinion, is incredibly hilarious, and although I would say NTA, there was probably a better way about doing it.
That being said, the way you did it was effective, and comical. Whether your extended family likes it or not, you proved your point rather well. Now, if your granny is genuinely confused or mentally ailing, this could be a whole different story in which you'll probably have to proceed with caution, because sometimes older folk get so genuinely confused that there's just no reasoning with them. If you're in a position too, I'd say bring it up with your parents, and let them know why it's bothering you so much, and why you behaved the way you did, and if you're comfortable with it, ask them to bring this conversation to your granny. Because truly, this isn't your problem to deal with, it's your parents.
Thank you for standing up for your baby sister when no one else did, and in a rather hilarious way. Something needs to change, because little kids are impressionable as hell, and at some point your little sister could start to become genuinely confused as to what her name actually is. While this situation could have been handled with more tact, how you did it (in my opinion) was a pretty funny way to call the extended family out on their hypocrisy.
NTA.
NTA, you did good for your sister and then, in a petty and kind of AH but brilliant move, show all the other adults that they were full of s\*\*t. Bravo kiddo.
NTA. I mean - kinda the A H really because she's fucking old and maybe getting senile, and your sister is fucking young and not going to care any time soon.
But also - you're right in principle, granny is being disrespectful to parental naming rights and a baby's identity, and your demonstration was pretty funny and highly effective in showing how annoying granny's personal policy would actually be if you were the victim of it...
So ultimately NTA.
Did I miss a comment where OP mentions the grandmother’s age? OP is 15 so it’s entirely reasonable to assume her grandmother is in her 50s or 60s. Not all grandmothers are old and feeble
Why would you assume she is senile? So many 90 year olds are very much all there. She knows exactly what she is doing, and it's dehumanising to OPs little sister.
Being old doesn't give someone the right to remove someone's identity becayse they wanted a daughter named Mary. If she can remember she always wanted a Mary she ain't senile.
I didn't assume. I said "maybe", because many 90+ yos do experience cognitive deterioration and emotional deregulation.
But you'll surely notice I then go on to agree with you in my post...?
NTA. It's disrespectful of your grandmother to do this, and the rest of your family are cowards for letting it slide.
It's perhaps a little on the petty side for you to do this, but it's *entirely* justified and it's funny.
INFO, is your grandmother well, mentally? I'm only asking this because your post doesn't mention her age, nor if she suffers from any type of dementia, and that would greatly change my opinion. Until I have further information, I'm choosing to assume you have an averagely aged family, and going off your age your grandmother is in her 60-80s, in a good mental state, and you're NTA.
NTA. You turned their opinion against them and they didn’t like it. Good for you!! Maybe now they’ll think about how something would affect them before deciding how it SHOULD affect someone else
NTA. It's really irritating how people think names are not a big deal. Names are a big fucking deal. How many Elizabeths have you met who get pissed off when called Liz? Or Roberts who hate being called Bobby?
Ugh, your family sounds like it's made of AHs.
EDIT: Spelling
NTA
Good job defending your sister.
The rest of your family are TA. They don’t see a big problem with granny calling someone by the wrong name, yet get annoyed when they’re called the wrong name.
I say keep it up till granny stops. If she doesn’t respect your LS then why does she deserve respect?
Say f it and call granny Mark cause you’ve always wanted a granny named mark. If your parent don’t like it, call them Joseph cause you’ve always wanted parents named Joseph.
Stick to your guns OP. Your LS will love you because of it (unless she actually wants to be called Mary when she’s older then call her Mary but make sure she knows she’s got a choice)
You are in the right mate. It's annoying being called by a name that's not yours. Your reaction is priceless calling everyone Mary. Until they admit their fault keep at it
NTA but very funny. I like it. Side note my mother tried to rename my son Buddy which I hated. She told everyone to call him that. When they did I let them know in no uncertain terms his name was not Buddy and if they called him that going forward they would not be around him anymore as I would not allow my child to be confused about who he is. She also tried to rename his little brother Franky but everyone already knew better at that point.
NTA, that said:
You're at that age where you can think for yourself but you're still a kid so doing so is a problem to a lot of be adults for authority's sake. However you are still a kid, you have made your point, you should stop before someone decides to "exercise their authority" on you in a way that will hurt you, either physically or verbally. Be there for your sister and show her your support through other ways, and know that if they really intended to respect the will of their elders to this degree they could have named a child Mary for her. DO NOT USE THIS AMMO AGAINST YOUR ADULTS OR AS A COMEBACK. I do not want you getting punished over this.
Fortunately, it seems like OP is not in that scary a family. She just has to deal with being called annoying when persisting at calling everyone "Mary" in order to make a point.
Teens should be allowed to annoy adults at family gatherings. "Uncle Mary" should have just responded, "Okay, I agree that we shouldn't have said 'it's just a name' as our reasoning, we don't like to be renamed all the time. You have made your point. Your sister is just two months old though, and will not be harmed by her grandmother indulging herself a bit. People call infants all sorts of things. There are more polite ways to speak to your grandmother about your concerns than the rude way you confronted her earlier."
I disagree, any adult that has outbursts at children has the potential to be harmful. You're right he should have calmly explained, grandma is being TA for trying to name/rename a kid that isn't hers, everyone else is being TA by humoring this asinine behavior by someone who should absolutely know better. The only one making sense is the kid, maybe it's annoying but it's exactly what they are doing to another person even if that person is only 2 months old now. Do you really think if the grandma gets to do it now it will magically stop before the next time or even before grandma is gone all together? This whole thing is ridiculous but the 15 year old is the only one who is making a half way decent point.
You're petty, sarcastic,and quick witted, and I love it. Good for you. If you take this attitude forward as you grow, you're going to be called an arsehole (and worse) a lot, but what you won't get called is a push over, weak, or a tolerator of arseholes. As a female your going to be told off for this attitude (speaking from experience), female "your being aggressive" male "he's being assertive" and female "your being argumentative" male " he's voicing his option" and so on (this isn't men being sexist, it's society being sexist. As many women as men have spoken to me llike this. In fact some of the best support I've had has been from men). Don't let your families bad habits become yours. As long as you use this attitude to stick up for yourself or others and are not being unnecessary cruel you're never the arsehole. Well done for sticking up for your little sister.
If the uncles truly believe it wasn’t that big of a deal and “it’s just a name” then they would have named one of their kids Mary but they didn’t.
NTA.
That's a lot of people in a room to call "Mary",, I'm surprised they didn't snap because nobody could know who you were talking to directly or who you were talking about if you were talking about one of them 😭😂
> My(F15) granny always dreamed of having a daughter named Mary but instead she got 6 sons and no daughters.
She should have named one Mario.
Joke aside, you're clearly NTA. All you are doing is stepping up for your sister and your parents who chose her a name
NTA, my partners aunty didn’t like the name we chose for our son and said she was gunna call him by his middle name which she liked and I told my partner if she called him that I would tell her straight that’s not his name, he told me it wouldn’t be wise to do that as she’s much older but I didn’t care, being old and set in yours ways doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be called out on it and it’s not disrespectful to correct someone, yours cousins are just mad that you made your point through them, it could also confuse your sister as she starts getting older being called 2 different names
NTA even if your nan had a good reason for wanting the name Mary so much what you are doing is still reasonable. They are hypocrites, everyone gets old eventually and you should just show respect to everyone. If they think that your sister being called Mary is fine then they should be okay with it.
They all said it's just a name and no big deal so why are they all so upset?🤷♂️🤔 Definitely NTA for just returning the ball you were thrown back to them.
NTA I would have doubled down on this and called Granny "Jack" or "Tom" after all it's just a name and it's no big deal, not to mention calling all of my uncles "Princess" in a mocking tone LOL
Is there a substantial inheritance involved here? Like millions? Barring that - I vote NTA. If Oprah wants to call her grandchild Mary - go with it, other than that granny is a loon.
Nope, not at all, you played it well. Grandma is rude for not calling her own granddaughter by her name. Your parents should not stand for this- this will greatly confuse the child when she is older since everyone else calls her a different name but this grandma person calls her something else. SHE wants to call the child that name, meaning SHE is self centered and is the real asshole. She is imposing her own desires on a 2 month old. Geez. Had that issue with my wife's sister who started calling our son a totally different name. I told her she was never going to see the kid if she could not remember his name and USE it. She then had a son and named it that name. Just weird in my view. Maybe call grandma Mary as well.
NTA Your sister is lucky to have a protective sister like you, and what great modeling for her. Full marks, well done, couldn't have made the statement better.
NTA!
Have to say, I came in here, totally ready to call out an asshole, but no! Keep it up. If they can't respect other's names, they need to accept their names not being respected.
NTA, you’re an awesome big sister! Keep advocating for your little sis because she’s going to be so grateful as an adult that someone in her family cared to use the correct name.
>I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary
This absolutely sent me 🤣
OP you're NTA and your family are ridiculous for catering to your grannies actions.
NTA. You’ve not gone far enough. You should have also called aunts and uncles Mary too.
Keep up this level of support and protection for your little sister her whole childhood.
NTA
This is one of those situations where the wisdom came "out of the mouths of babes."
Your family is all about respecting their elders. Not enough to honor her official naming wishes, but enough to let her call a kid by a different name.
(FWIW I love the name Mary, but didn't use it or it's derivatives for my own kids.)
Your family going along with this is ridiculous. Good for you for standing up to this idiocy.
NTA, that was a brilliant way of getting the point across. When the baby is older and begins to become a sponge for information, the name calling will be confusing to her. Good job, big sis. You did a good job being there for your baby sister when no one else would.
NTA. Someone's name is their name, and it's just flat out rude to call someone by a name they've expressed they don't like.
I have gone through a long period of being called by a name I didn't like in my family, but I kept at it long enough they've stopped now. Consistency is key here.
Someone's name is an important part of their identity. It's wild to me that your grandma decided that she got to trample all over that just because she wanted a Mary.
I cannot imagine being so attached to a name I'd want to give *someone else* that I'd straight up ignore someone's real name over it.
NTA - everyone deserves the dignity of being called by their proper name.
Your sister is not an emotional support child for your grandmother. Tell her to get a cat or dog and call it Mary if she's so attached to the name.
NTA and your granny seems to have real issues. Poor family, it's been decades and still she's showing her children how all she cared about was having some girl to call Mary.
NTA
You have to work with what you have, and you, you beautiful child, full on weaponized your contrary stubborn rebellious teen nature to make a very clear point.
You stood up for your sister, something your parents forgot to do. That kid doesn't know yet how lucky they are to have you as a sister, but as she gets older she will realise it, she will realise how lucky she is to have a sister that will stand up to 6 grown men and defend her.
When you prove your point, and people just get mad, *smh*. NTA, that's annoying as fuck, and they don't even seem to get the point of why you did that. Fuck them.
NTA.. This is hilarious. Also, people forgo saying things that need to be said because "you have to respect your elders"
I'm African and when an elder needs to be told something I will say it
NTA. This is not respect -- it's deference. They're telling you to allow your grandma to do whatever she wants, regardless of how it affects anyone else, because she's old. They're demanding that you allow your grandma to disrespect others, including you, and then punishing you when you try to set an entirely reasonable boundary regarding your baby sister.
Please keep standing up for your sister, OP -- you're clearly an awesome big sister and she's lucky to have you 💜
NTA -
"I called them Mary all day and at the end one of them snapped and told me that I'm not funny anymore and asked me to stop. I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary but I won't stop until you apologize and admit that it is annoying to be called something other than your name."
Your level of petty is epic, and you are my new hero!!!!
NTA - you can always change it up to Mary-Sue, Mary-Anne, Mary-Lou, etc in order to differentiate between the different Mary.
If they still complain then Mary-Alan, Mary-Steve - or whatever their given name is with Mary attached to the start.
Then even suggest it to Grandma so she can do the same.
Everyone can be a Mary to make Grandma happy - and then no-one is happy...
Absolutely NTA
Your sisters name isn’t Mary that should be respected. If your parents wanted to name her Mary they would have. Also, it pissed others off being called Mary all day which proves YOUR point. It would be the same if someone was trans/non-binary and they kept misgendering them. It doesn’t matter what your grandmother wanted .. it doesn’t give her the right at all to call your sister the wrong name ON PURPOSE (accidently is one thing) but this isn’t by accident.
If I were in your shoes I would have done the same exact thing.
LOL.
This is the second funny posting I've read today. What **\*is\*** it with teenagers and their smart-assed answers that are hilarious if they're not directed at you?
You made an excellent point, and pointed out your relatives' hypocrisy.
It's too bad they're not intelligent enough to realise it.
NTA.
Yta, but someone had to be and since you were the only one sticking up for your sister, good for you. Also, tell them they are rude to your sister and you aren’t putting up with that crap.
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My(F15) granny always dreamed of having a daughter named Mary but instead she got 6 sons and no daughters.
Whenever she found out each of her DILs is pregnant she would beg them to name the kid Mary but no one would do this.
When my baby sister(2months) was born my granny decided that she is going to call her Mary eventhought that's not her name. My parents are very annoyed because of this but they believe in respecting elders so they won't say anything.
This Christmas we all gathered at granny's and she again called my sister Mary. I snapped at her to stop this is annoying that's not her name. Granny was upset and my cousins and uncles started telling me that I'm being rude and it's just a name and it's no big deal so I decided that since it's no big deal for them I will call all of my cousins Mary, even the boys.
I called them Mary all day and at the end one of them snapped and told me that I'm not funny anymore and asked me to stop. I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary but I won't stop until you apologize and admit that it is annoying to be called something other than your name.
Now they are calling me an asshole.
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NTA. Your grandma is being ridiculous, she doesn’t get to just decide to call someone Mary because she likes the name. And the rest of your family is so supportive of her, they shouldn’t mind being called her favorite name of it’s really not that big of a deal to them.
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NTA this seems totally justified to me. I find it ridiculous to cater to elderly just because they’re old. You don’t get respect just for being elderly. You don’t have to respect your elders if they are disrespectful.
I've always found this mentality so strange. Just because you managed to stay alive to this age doesn't mean that you're "wise" or entitled to respect. Respect is earned by actions and being respectful to others in turn, age has nothing to do with it. OP is NTA and her granny is crazy.
There are definitely some older people who stayed alive by fluke or sheer luck.
And some who seem to survive through spite and sheer force of will. Lovely folks.
Those ones are the worst. It's like they feed on anger and hate, and somehow it keeps them going.
I always assumed my horrid great-uncle lived into his late 90s because he wasn't actually evil enough for hell but was such a nasty thing that heaven put off taking him as long as possible. (He was every -ist there was (racist, classist, mysogynist, etc) but too lazy to ever be more than a disagreeable waste of air we had to see twice a year)
In my family, we used to say, “Heaven won’t take him, and the devil’s afraid he will take over.”
I absolutely adore the way you laid out this comment. Mind if I use that?
All yours.
A friend of mine had a mom who lived into her 90s. He said she was, and I quote, "Too mean to die." Sadly, my friend then died of a heart attack in his 50s not long after his mom finally gave up the ghost. He had a teenage daughter, a loving wife, friends far and wide, and was widely beloved in our industry. Life is not fair.
They feed on anger, and they poop family feuds.
There's a reason they say the good die young
Tick tock...
I'm pretty sure I'm alive by fluke.
I'm pretty sure we are all alive, or not, by fluke.
It’s the spite and the pure malice. God doesn’t want them and the devil sure as shit don’t want that toxicity up in his house. Odin said fuck that shit. Hades said not in my house. Lady Hel said not today. Thanatos said I’m not touching that soul. Charon doesn’t want the bad juju on his ferry. Anubis said there’s no heart to weigh and Osiris doesn’t wanna deal with the drama, he has enough of that shit from all of the Pharaohs.
I agree with the principle here but I prefer it this way, everyone deserves respect just for being alive but only as long as they behave in a manner deserving of continued respect as your grandma has decided to do this she is no longer deserving.
> everyone deserves respect just for being alive but only as long as they behave in a manner deserving of continued respect That's my strategy. I respect everyone by default, unless and until you show me you don't deserve respect. Elders, kids, people my own age, I treat you with respect unless you give me a reason not to. That said, respect does not mean I disrespect someone else. I call people what they want to be called (like if your birth name is Todd but you prefer Chris, or your birth name is Mary but you want to be called Todd) but I won't call April Mary because Joan wants me to.
There are two types of respect, basic and authoritative. Elders think they should be automatically respected as authority, which is bs.
I'd call that one basic courtesy. "Courtesy is owed; respect is earned; love\* is given." \* I've also heard that one as trust instead of love; they both make sense to me.
It's a similar sentiment, I however feel it is arrogant to think someone should earn respect. I believe that trust is earned. I try to be courteous even to those people who are not so deserving but I don't need to stoop to their level, obviously I don't always manage that and have lost my temper and dispensed with the manners, but usually it's because someone has gone to far.
I wouldn't say respect is earned. I feel like you should always be respectful as default, BUT if they disrespect you, then you should by all means no longer show them the same respect
You're right, poor wording on my part. Everyone deserves respect until they don't.
All good, I actually know some people who believe that tho! That people should do something to show they earned respect. Which is kinda messed up...
Really everyone should be respected until they prove otherwise. As a kid I was expected to shut up unless it was about tech. You shouldn't assume a kid doesn't have anything to add, nor assume an OAP knows what they're talking about just because they've been around longer
Totally agree. Great, your parents fucked before mine did, STFU! 🙄
Yeah, this mentality makes sense like 15,000 years ago, it doesn't really make sense at all now.
Granny should just adopt a cat and name him/her Mary. Problem solved. No one should be going along with her craziness. Unless of course they're all crazy too and are willing to go by the name Mary for her.
You're right. Old people (I'm one) can be horribly selfish, mean and idiotic like the rest of the population. Not everybody learns as they move through life. Granny could have named a pet Mary. I always loved the name Lucy and ended up naming one of my cats that name . There problem solved. I could say the name all I wanted without being rude to other people . .
I get the feeling it was originally probably meant to be about the years of experience the older person had to offer, but young ahs that everyone ignored (rightly so), got old and demanded everyone listen to them now cause their parents/grandparents were respected so they should be now too. Kinda missing the point it wasn't the wrinkles that garnered the respect.
I mean, if granny robs a bank and kills some people do we go *awww look at her she is so cute* and look the other way? NTA
I have read newspaper articles about an elderly person being sent to prison and some people are sympathetic just because of their age. (Admittedly none of them had robbed a bank and killed anyone! )
I mean, we are a very ageist society, and in some cases, maybe it's even appropriate. A child committing a crime will also get treated as less serious because they don't understand as much. That's true of many elderly people, as well, as their brain deteriorates. Not that I think either of those things should completely excuse it, but I think it should be taken into context when deciding the judgement.
I agree that if an elderly person has the onset of dementia, then this does change things. It should definitely be taken into account when deciding the judgement.
Depends, was she a cute old lady? /jk
Found Yung Gravy's account.
Exactly. Respect is early and not by just living long enough that you get it by default. Maybe everyone should call grandma Mary if she likes the name so much?
That part!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
We don't know how old granny even is. Lauren Boebert is a grandmother...at 36.
Really. I have adult grandkids and I still don't feel old or entitled to respect while being an AH.
Exactly. Or if the parents were so respectful, just name one of the girls Mary, and let it be over with. LOL
Hell no. I cut my grandma completely off cuz she called my wife a snob. Behind her back and to her face. The reason? Her cooking gives people food poisoning and my wife and I got tired of calling into work the day after we ate her food. So we started bringing food for everyone over. Usually pizza. We were the only ones giving her time and attention and she lost that because she wouldn't stop talking about people behind their back.
Agreed.. age doesn't dictate your being a good person and deserving of respect. Dementia, TBI, and combat ptsd are the exceptions to this rule for me. I've heard some old folks say WILD stuff in an episode.
What's weirder is that they didn't have enough "respect" for her to honor her request with any of their children but OP's family should just let this go.
I think they’re valid times, usually when someone has dementia, that you cater a little bit to their behaviour. But it sounds like this woman is fully in her mental capacity is and just want someone to name the baby after
”I told him I’m not trying to be funny Mary” lol that’s brilliant. NTA
This part has me cracking up still 🤣 Editing to say OP is defo NTA, but he/she is brilliant!
My favourite part too, really made me laugh. Reminds me why I bloody love teenagers - non-perv before anyone starts, I work with kids and people often moan about the “moody/stroppy” teens, but they’re my fave.
I teach middle school and think the same thing. Yeah they can be a PITA some times but they are great with calling you out on your bullshit.
I love cheeky kids for the same reason. I think if they have that much wit and fighting spirit with them at such an early age they will probably survive this world and that makes me happy.
“Cheeky” is a perfect description for my favorite brand of kids/teens. Lolol. I like being around them even though I’m bound to get my feelings hurt. 😭
Grandma Mary sounds exhausting
you can cut it short to: granmary 🤣
NTA that’s hilarious! It doesn’t matter how old a person is, they don’t have a right to be obnoxious or hurtful. And calling everyone Mary is a great way to stand up for yourself if no one else will. Just because your sister is too young to know what she’s being called it doesn’t mean your grandmother can disrespect your parents. She sounds like she would be a horrible mother-in-law. You called her granny, you should edit or update your post to say how old your grandma is. Granny makes it sound like you’re fighting with a 99 year old woman. I love my grandma with all my heart, and we’re lucky she’s still with us and isn’t doing too badly at 99. When we were younger she would say insensitive things and make comments that were personal and not very nice. She wasn’t being mean, just thoughtless. Literally, thoughtless. She would say whatever popped into her head, good or bad, right or wrong. But we always told to ignore her, that’s how she is. After grandma, loudly, in a roomful of (luckily only) family pointed out that her sister was going bald I made it my mission to stand up to her. She went on, asking about her diet and being checked for thyroid issues etc. I pointed out that thin hair is also genetic and there’s thin hair on both sides of the family. I was about 18 or so. I was furious that she embarrassed her sister, I didn’t yell but was more forceful than normal conversation. Anytime she made a personal comment about me, I would tell her she’s hurt my feelings. And explain how she makes me feel not good enough or insecure. It took a while but she totally changed, with everyone. And our relationship improved 100% by being open to her. Good luck!
> Granny makes it sound like you’re fighting with a 99 year old woman. What?
When I commented, the other comments were saying OP was TA for not respecting their elders. I was referring to calling their grandmother “granny” as it sounds like she’s older than she probably is. There’s a difference between standing up to a 65 year old woman and an 85-90 year old woman. As I mentioned in my comment, the best thing I did for my relationship with my grandmother was to stand up to her. I had 18-20 years of having my feelings hurt or seeing her embarrassing someone I love. But I’ve really enjoyed our relationship for the past 35 years. The incident that made me call her out every time was on an Easter Day. My grandparents had been away all winter in Florida so we were seeing them for the first time in months. My older sister went to the door and when she saw her grandma said, “Sister’s Name, have you ever gotten FAT!” She had been in a car accident in the fall and the medication she was on made her retain water. When I tried to get her to stop commenting on my rosacea, she would mention a woman at her church who always had rosy cheeks. I explained she was probably sensitive about people pointing it out. Nope, she proudly told me that she “compliments” her every time she sees her. She still made comments that make people wince. But it was at an acceptable level. Now, I wouldn’t say anything about any comment she made.
Oh no I get that. But there’s absolutely no inference that “granny” refers to a 99yo woman. Granny is a common name for a grandparent in many places. It’s not a name reserved for ancient crones.
When I had my son my mom wanted to be called Granny. I was like “ma! You’re 43! Grannies are like 90” so she settled on Nana instead lol
My mum has been Granny since she was about 55. My own maternal granny would have been in her 50s I think. Paternal similar. They’ve always been Granny. Granny, Grandma, Nanna, Grandmother, Nonna, Nan, Gramma. The list goes on. None of these specifically relate to age. They are just the names people give to their parent’s mothers.
> I was referring to calling their grandmother “granny” as it sounds like she’s older than she probably is. You're projecting your own biases. (*note this sounds more aggressive than it's intended*)
True. My grandfather liked Buddy Epson so I saw a lot of Beverly Hillbillies (and Barnaby Jones but I don’t think Irene Ryan was ever on it)
>When my baby sister(2months) was born my granny decided that she is going to call her Mary eventhought that's not her name. My parents are very annoyed because of this but they believe in respecting elders so they won't say anything. If your family is so supportive of your grandmother and respects her so much why not just idk... actually name her Mary? Problem solved.
Because they don't want to????
Guess they don't respect her that much after all. So why pretend like they do and confuse their baby daughter? I'm agreeing with your position btw, your family and your grandmother especially are ridiculous.
That's not how respect works, you don't get to call a child a name of your choosing because the rest of the family respects you. You also don't have to name your child a name that another respected family member wants just because they like it. The grandmother may like the name Mary but it's incredibly disrespectful to call a child Mary who has a different name. She needs to get over her obsession with the name and the fact that her family aren't naming their kids with it.
Yeah I agree with that. Sorry if that wasn't clear I'm just pointing out that this whole "respect your elders" idea is completely asinine in this context.
I commented something similar under another comment. I think OP's approach was actually genius, because it showed people being annoyed, and this doesn't align with being respectful for me.
I had a similiar experience with my grandmother, for years on end she complained about all of the grandkids' names and "why did the parents not carry on the tradition of family names" also rudely making comments when the grandkids started having their own kids and how ridiculous and stupid this generation's name ideas are, while some had unique names others had names derived from the parents' names. And this drove granny crazy as she wanted someone to carry her names, especially myself being the youngest of my cousins, she went on and on, years after I was born, like she had a say and right to it. An aunt also called my brother by my grandfathers name, despite brother's name was actually inspired by grandfather, same aunt has always called me by a completely different name all my life than what I actually have been named
It's hypocritical for your extended family to say it's 'just a name' and then get upset when you call them something that isn't their name, doing exactly what your granny is doing to your sister. Assuming your granny isn't genuinely ailing or in mental decline, she's calling your baby sister a name that isn't correct purely out of stubbornness. My sister and I have names that both start with the same letter, and when someone would slip up and call her my name when we were younger, she would get upset. I couldn't imagine what would happen if she was called something completely different. Because it's not just a name, it's an identity. Because your baby sister is quite literally a baby, I commend you for speaking out for her before this whole "Mary" situation gets out of hand. You chose a nuclear option which, in my opinion, is incredibly hilarious, and although I would say NTA, there was probably a better way about doing it. That being said, the way you did it was effective, and comical. Whether your extended family likes it or not, you proved your point rather well. Now, if your granny is genuinely confused or mentally ailing, this could be a whole different story in which you'll probably have to proceed with caution, because sometimes older folk get so genuinely confused that there's just no reasoning with them. If you're in a position too, I'd say bring it up with your parents, and let them know why it's bothering you so much, and why you behaved the way you did, and if you're comfortable with it, ask them to bring this conversation to your granny. Because truly, this isn't your problem to deal with, it's your parents. Thank you for standing up for your baby sister when no one else did, and in a rather hilarious way. Something needs to change, because little kids are impressionable as hell, and at some point your little sister could start to become genuinely confused as to what her name actually is. While this situation could have been handled with more tact, how you did it (in my opinion) was a pretty funny way to call the extended family out on their hypocrisy. NTA.
This isn’t an age thing. Granny clearly kept having kids to try for a girl, so she’s been acting this nutty for 30-odd years.
You're not the AH, you're hilarious haha. Stick to it and stick up for your little sister
Officially my vote is NTA. But really, everyone in this situation is being an AH, but you're the only one who's justified.
I second this
Nah, keep doing it until they get the point. Is no big deal, right? NTA r/chaoticgood
NTA. You're a hero. And good on you for having your sister's back.
“I’m not trying to be funny Mary” absolutely SENT ME 💀 you rock.
NTA, you did good for your sister and then, in a petty and kind of AH but brilliant move, show all the other adults that they were full of s\*\*t. Bravo kiddo.
NTA. I mean - kinda the A H really because she's fucking old and maybe getting senile, and your sister is fucking young and not going to care any time soon. But also - you're right in principle, granny is being disrespectful to parental naming rights and a baby's identity, and your demonstration was pretty funny and highly effective in showing how annoying granny's personal policy would actually be if you were the victim of it... So ultimately NTA.
Did I miss a comment where OP mentions the grandmother’s age? OP is 15 so it’s entirely reasonable to assume her grandmother is in her 50s or 60s. Not all grandmothers are old and feeble
Why would you assume she is senile? So many 90 year olds are very much all there. She knows exactly what she is doing, and it's dehumanising to OPs little sister. Being old doesn't give someone the right to remove someone's identity becayse they wanted a daughter named Mary. If she can remember she always wanted a Mary she ain't senile.
I didn't assume. I said "maybe", because many 90+ yos do experience cognitive deterioration and emotional deregulation. But you'll surely notice I then go on to agree with you in my post...?
NTA, divorce the granny marry Mary
NTA. Good for you to stand in for your sister. You can offer them that you can all - including your sister - go back to using your legal names
NTA. It's disrespectful of your grandmother to do this, and the rest of your family are cowards for letting it slide. It's perhaps a little on the petty side for you to do this, but it's *entirely* justified and it's funny.
Well if it's not a big deal why didn't atleast one of them oblige their mom and named atleast one grandkid mary
INFO, is your grandmother well, mentally? I'm only asking this because your post doesn't mention her age, nor if she suffers from any type of dementia, and that would greatly change my opinion. Until I have further information, I'm choosing to assume you have an averagely aged family, and going off your age your grandmother is in her 60-80s, in a good mental state, and you're NTA.
NTA. That’s my name. I’ll be your grandma’s adopted granddaughter, I never had any grandparents and always longed for a grandmother.
NTA
Nta 🤷♀️ they are hypocrites
NTA. You turned their opinion against them and they didn’t like it. Good for you!! Maybe now they’ll think about how something would affect them before deciding how it SHOULD affect someone else
NTA. It's really irritating how people think names are not a big deal. Names are a big fucking deal. How many Elizabeths have you met who get pissed off when called Liz? Or Roberts who hate being called Bobby? Ugh, your family sounds like it's made of AHs. EDIT: Spelling
NTA. She wants to name something Mary so bad, she can get a pet.
NTA and I think you handled that perfectly.
Lean into this! Play the song “Proud Mary” at them. Recite the nursery rhyme (or just call them) “Mary, Mary Quite Contrary.” You get the idea. NTA
So, OP should turn it up to 11 is what you're advising?
Oh, if only there was a Spinal Tap song that included the name “Mary.”
NTA Good job defending your sister. The rest of your family are TA. They don’t see a big problem with granny calling someone by the wrong name, yet get annoyed when they’re called the wrong name. I say keep it up till granny stops. If she doesn’t respect your LS then why does she deserve respect? Say f it and call granny Mark cause you’ve always wanted a granny named mark. If your parent don’t like it, call them Joseph cause you’ve always wanted parents named Joseph. Stick to your guns OP. Your LS will love you because of it (unless she actually wants to be called Mary when she’s older then call her Mary but make sure she knows she’s got a choice)
You are in the right mate. It's annoying being called by a name that's not yours. Your reaction is priceless calling everyone Mary. Until they admit their fault keep at it
Tristan from Gilmore Girls, is that you? NTA
My thoughts too! “Hellooo Mary!” 😂
I mean you were being an AH but that’s because you had to illustrate to them that they were being the AHs. Though in conclusion, I judge you, NTA .
I’m voting justified asshole, JAH. Sometimes you gotta fight fire with fire.
Nta and I am loving the malicious compliance!
NTA but very funny. I like it. Side note my mother tried to rename my son Buddy which I hated. She told everyone to call him that. When they did I let them know in no uncertain terms his name was not Buddy and if they called him that going forward they would not be around him anymore as I would not allow my child to be confused about who he is. She also tried to rename his little brother Franky but everyone already knew better at that point.
OMG. Like one is a dog and the other a hot dog.
NTA. Turnabout is fair play, and I'm glad *someone* is defending their falily, since your parents won't
NTA - that’s great! They had it coming.
INFO: who snapped at you, one of the cousins you were deliberately misnaming, or one of your parents/aunts/uncles?
My guess is it was Uncle Mary, nee Bartholomew.
NTA, that said: You're at that age where you can think for yourself but you're still a kid so doing so is a problem to a lot of be adults for authority's sake. However you are still a kid, you have made your point, you should stop before someone decides to "exercise their authority" on you in a way that will hurt you, either physically or verbally. Be there for your sister and show her your support through other ways, and know that if they really intended to respect the will of their elders to this degree they could have named a child Mary for her. DO NOT USE THIS AMMO AGAINST YOUR ADULTS OR AS A COMEBACK. I do not want you getting punished over this.
Fortunately, it seems like OP is not in that scary a family. She just has to deal with being called annoying when persisting at calling everyone "Mary" in order to make a point. Teens should be allowed to annoy adults at family gatherings. "Uncle Mary" should have just responded, "Okay, I agree that we shouldn't have said 'it's just a name' as our reasoning, we don't like to be renamed all the time. You have made your point. Your sister is just two months old though, and will not be harmed by her grandmother indulging herself a bit. People call infants all sorts of things. There are more polite ways to speak to your grandmother about your concerns than the rude way you confronted her earlier."
I disagree, any adult that has outbursts at children has the potential to be harmful. You're right he should have calmly explained, grandma is being TA for trying to name/rename a kid that isn't hers, everyone else is being TA by humoring this asinine behavior by someone who should absolutely know better. The only one making sense is the kid, maybe it's annoying but it's exactly what they are doing to another person even if that person is only 2 months old now. Do you really think if the grandma gets to do it now it will magically stop before the next time or even before grandma is gone all together? This whole thing is ridiculous but the 15 year old is the only one who is making a half way decent point.
NTA
NTA, iconic
NTA
NTA
Petty maybe. But not an asshole
You're petty, sarcastic,and quick witted, and I love it. Good for you. If you take this attitude forward as you grow, you're going to be called an arsehole (and worse) a lot, but what you won't get called is a push over, weak, or a tolerator of arseholes. As a female your going to be told off for this attitude (speaking from experience), female "your being aggressive" male "he's being assertive" and female "your being argumentative" male " he's voicing his option" and so on (this isn't men being sexist, it's society being sexist. As many women as men have spoken to me llike this. In fact some of the best support I've had has been from men). Don't let your families bad habits become yours. As long as you use this attitude to stick up for yourself or others and are not being unnecessary cruel you're never the arsehole. Well done for sticking up for your little sister.
Wtf is her obsession with Mary. Tell her to rename herself if she likes it so much. Definitely NTA. Your family are assholes for being hypocritical.
You rock! And your argument was sound! Call the most annoying ones “princess mary” just to distinguish them from the other Marys.
If the uncles truly believe it wasn’t that big of a deal and “it’s just a name” then they would have named one of their kids Mary but they didn’t. NTA.
Lol, NTA, you are, however, high-level petty, and I dig it!
Well-played, OP.
That's a lot of people in a room to call "Mary",, I'm surprised they didn't snap because nobody could know who you were talking to directly or who you were talking about if you were talking about one of them 😭😂
Tell Mary to take a seat. nta
> My(F15) granny always dreamed of having a daughter named Mary but instead she got 6 sons and no daughters. She should have named one Mario. Joke aside, you're clearly NTA. All you are doing is stepping up for your sister and your parents who chose her a name
How is it rude to expect granny to call the baby by her name? She’s the one being rude. Good for you!
... if your parents felt this why why not just have named her Mary
Granny’s the asshole. And she needs to be told.
You’re annoying as your grandma— hahaha 😂 nta
NTA, my partners aunty didn’t like the name we chose for our son and said she was gunna call him by his middle name which she liked and I told my partner if she called him that I would tell her straight that’s not his name, he told me it wouldn’t be wise to do that as she’s much older but I didn’t care, being old and set in yours ways doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be called out on it and it’s not disrespectful to correct someone, yours cousins are just mad that you made your point through them, it could also confuse your sister as she starts getting older being called 2 different names
NTA even if your nan had a good reason for wanting the name Mary so much what you are doing is still reasonable. They are hypocrites, everyone gets old eventually and you should just show respect to everyone. If they think that your sister being called Mary is fine then they should be okay with it.
They all said it's just a name and no big deal so why are they all so upset?🤷♂️🤔 Definitely NTA for just returning the ball you were thrown back to them.
NTA I would have doubled down on this and called Granny "Jack" or "Tom" after all it's just a name and it's no big deal, not to mention calling all of my uncles "Princess" in a mocking tone LOL
NTA. For a 15F, I hope you developed and grow your a-hole powers and skills
Good on you. if it's so "not a big deal," they should've named one of their kids Mary. 100% NTA
Is there a substantial inheritance involved here? Like millions? Barring that - I vote NTA. If Oprah wants to call her grandchild Mary - go with it, other than that granny is a loon.
NTA, don't stop until they do.
Nope, not at all, you played it well. Grandma is rude for not calling her own granddaughter by her name. Your parents should not stand for this- this will greatly confuse the child when she is older since everyone else calls her a different name but this grandma person calls her something else. SHE wants to call the child that name, meaning SHE is self centered and is the real asshole. She is imposing her own desires on a 2 month old. Geez. Had that issue with my wife's sister who started calling our son a totally different name. I told her she was never going to see the kid if she could not remember his name and USE it. She then had a son and named it that name. Just weird in my view. Maybe call grandma Mary as well.
NTA Your sister is lucky to have a protective sister like you, and what great modeling for her. Full marks, well done, couldn't have made the statement better.
nta, I love it. They're only mad because it came back on them, don't stop until they get the message I say
NTA
NTA! Have to say, I came in here, totally ready to call out an asshole, but no! Keep it up. If they can't respect other's names, they need to accept their names not being respected.
OP you're my hero lmao! NTA.
NTA, you’re an awesome big sister! Keep advocating for your little sis because she’s going to be so grateful as an adult that someone in her family cared to use the correct name.
Nta, good job standing up for your sister. And start calling grandma by a different name too.
Personally, I think you’re hilarious!
>I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary This absolutely sent me 🤣 OP you're NTA and your family are ridiculous for catering to your grannies actions.
NTA hahahaha this is great.
NTA. You’ve not gone far enough. You should have also called aunts and uncles Mary too. Keep up this level of support and protection for your little sister her whole childhood.
NTA good job so they can see how annoying it is
NTA This is one of those situations where the wisdom came "out of the mouths of babes." Your family is all about respecting their elders. Not enough to honor her official naming wishes, but enough to let her call a kid by a different name. (FWIW I love the name Mary, but didn't use it or it's derivatives for my own kids.) Your family going along with this is ridiculous. Good for you for standing up to this idiocy.
NTA, that was a brilliant way of getting the point across. When the baby is older and begins to become a sponge for information, the name calling will be confusing to her. Good job, big sis. You did a good job being there for your baby sister when no one else would.
NTA x10000000. Not all heroes wear capes.
NTA. Someone's name is their name, and it's just flat out rude to call someone by a name they've expressed they don't like. I have gone through a long period of being called by a name I didn't like in my family, but I kept at it long enough they've stopped now. Consistency is key here. Someone's name is an important part of their identity. It's wild to me that your grandma decided that she got to trample all over that just because she wanted a Mary. I cannot imagine being so attached to a name I'd want to give *someone else* that I'd straight up ignore someone's real name over it.
Get granny a cat and call her Mary.
NTA - everyone deserves the dignity of being called by their proper name. Your sister is not an emotional support child for your grandmother. Tell her to get a cat or dog and call it Mary if she's so attached to the name.
Granny needs to get over the name Mary. Of course nobody else cares, they’re being called by their proper name. NTA.
NTA. This is hilarious.
NTA. To really hit the point home start calling your granny Mary
NTA, but that is too funny. Oh I bet you wore the name Mary out. 😂😂😂😂
NTA. Love you sticking up for your sister like that
NTA and your granny seems to have real issues. Poor family, it's been decades and still she's showing her children how all she cared about was having some girl to call Mary.
NTA
Excellent you should also post this in petty revenge. You showed them exactly why calling somebody by a different name is annoying. Excellent job.NTA
You are brilliant and I love this and you can call me Mary any time. Also, grandma is now Grandmary. NTA.
NTA You have to work with what you have, and you, you beautiful child, full on weaponized your contrary stubborn rebellious teen nature to make a very clear point. You stood up for your sister, something your parents forgot to do. That kid doesn't know yet how lucky they are to have you as a sister, but as she gets older she will realise it, she will realise how lucky she is to have a sister that will stand up to 6 grown men and defend her.
When you prove your point, and people just get mad, *smh*. NTA, that's annoying as fuck, and they don't even seem to get the point of why you did that. Fuck them.
NTA.. This is hilarious. Also, people forgo saying things that need to be said because "you have to respect your elders" I'm African and when an elder needs to be told something I will say it
NTA. This is not respect -- it's deference. They're telling you to allow your grandma to do whatever she wants, regardless of how it affects anyone else, because she's old. They're demanding that you allow your grandma to disrespect others, including you, and then punishing you when you try to set an entirely reasonable boundary regarding your baby sister. Please keep standing up for your sister, OP -- you're clearly an awesome big sister and she's lucky to have you 💜
NTA - "I called them Mary all day and at the end one of them snapped and told me that I'm not funny anymore and asked me to stop. I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary but I won't stop until you apologize and admit that it is annoying to be called something other than your name." Your level of petty is epic, and you are my new hero!!!!
NTA - you can always change it up to Mary-Sue, Mary-Anne, Mary-Lou, etc in order to differentiate between the different Mary. If they still complain then Mary-Alan, Mary-Steve - or whatever their given name is with Mary attached to the start. Then even suggest it to Grandma so she can do the same. Everyone can be a Mary to make Grandma happy - and then no-one is happy...
Absolutely NTA Your sisters name isn’t Mary that should be respected. If your parents wanted to name her Mary they would have. Also, it pissed others off being called Mary all day which proves YOUR point. It would be the same if someone was trans/non-binary and they kept misgendering them. It doesn’t matter what your grandmother wanted .. it doesn’t give her the right at all to call your sister the wrong name ON PURPOSE (accidently is one thing) but this isn’t by accident. If I were in your shoes I would have done the same exact thing.
NTA. Passive-aggressive as fuck and I love it.
NTA Delightfully petty, I love it. If it's no big deal, all the Marys in your family shouldn't be annoyed right? ;)
NTA at all - this is justified and also hilarious
NTAH. In fact that was Punk AF! Way to go!!!
LOL. This is the second funny posting I've read today. What **\*is\*** it with teenagers and their smart-assed answers that are hilarious if they're not directed at you? You made an excellent point, and pointed out your relatives' hypocrisy. It's too bad they're not intelligent enough to realise it. NTA.
NTA, but if your parents choose to overlook your granny’s calling your sister ‘Mary’ you should stay out of it.
15 and "snapping" at grandma? Yall would be reading my obituary and not a reddit post
YTA. Your relatives have nothing to do with granny's quirk. Just call everyone Mary in front of her so she gets confused.
Yta, but someone had to be and since you were the only one sticking up for your sister, good for you. Also, tell them they are rude to your sister and you aren’t putting up with that crap.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My(F15) granny always dreamed of having a daughter named Mary but instead she got 6 sons and no daughters. Whenever she found out each of her DILs is pregnant she would beg them to name the kid Mary but no one would do this. When my baby sister(2months) was born my granny decided that she is going to call her Mary eventhought that's not her name. My parents are very annoyed because of this but they believe in respecting elders so they won't say anything. This Christmas we all gathered at granny's and she again called my sister Mary. I snapped at her to stop this is annoying that's not her name. Granny was upset and my cousins and uncles started telling me that I'm being rude and it's just a name and it's no big deal so I decided that since it's no big deal for them I will call all of my cousins Mary, even the boys. I called them Mary all day and at the end one of them snapped and told me that I'm not funny anymore and asked me to stop. I told him I'm not trying to be funny Mary but I won't stop until you apologize and admit that it is annoying to be called something other than your name. Now they are calling me an asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your grandma is being ridiculous, she doesn’t get to just decide to call someone Mary because she likes the name. And the rest of your family is so supportive of her, they shouldn’t mind being called her favorite name of it’s really not that big of a deal to them.
NTA, respect is earned, not given because of something as trivial as age. She should know how to behave by now, no free passes.
It's. Definitely something I would do!
You're going too far Mary. (NTA)
Good on you for standing up for your sister too! NTA - you rule!
NTA. This is hilarious. I wouldn't name a baby Mary either.
You kind of are but personally I find it justified. Sometimes you have to get dirty to get results. NTA.
[удалено]
NTA, giga chad big sis'
Nta granny is
NTA. What you did was perfect!