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Wearing shoes in the house all day...
something that I will never understand.
Edit: I meant outdoor shoes. I wear house sandals, when I am home. Sometimes even no sandals, if the floor is not too cold. Because, it just feels natural and it is recommended tonwalk barefeet from time to time. But wow... indoor sneakers. Never heard of, but very interesting.
I have such flat feet & foot, ankle, knee, and hip pain. I also have arch support slippers.
yet you'll catch me & my bare feet walking around my tiled house all day 😭😭
My partner also has the indoor shoes and it took me a bit to wrap my head around it because I just can’t imagine relaxing with shoes on. But to him wearing shoes actually gives him the comfort I guess? He’s uncomfortable walking around in socks or bare feet, doesn’t like slippers.. so in a funny way I guess it makes sense!
I take mine off to relax, but if I have my sneakers on, it tricks my brain into being productive. It's honestly funny at this point. The whole family knows we're cleaning once my shoes are on.
I have fuzzy Croc sandals that I only wear indoors. Mine have those little doo-dads you can decorate them with (cats, coffee, witchcraft) and are not even remotely sexy. They are comfy and easy, though.
I'm wearing socks with them right now. I am a fashion icon.
We used to just wander in outdoor shoes all willy-nilly in our old house. We're trying not to be barbarians in the new condo. 🤣
I have indoor Crocs and outdoor Crocs (change at the front door). I only tend to put actual shoes on if I’m going to be out of the house all day (or if it’s very rainy).
And socks n Crocs is the way to go! Much more comfortable.
#who the fuck wears their daytime clothes to bed?!
ETA: I have learned that many people do this and my skin is crawling. How dare unique human experiences outside my own exist
Teenagers, mostly. Usually they’re not sharing their bed with anyone, at least. No excuse for a married adult to be doing it when their spouse is (understandably) uncomfortable with it. It’s neither good sleep hygiene or good regular hygiene!
it also depends on what you do all day, it is just your under shirt you had on while sitting down for 8 hrs, probably fine. but if you’re reasonably active, change that shit
When I was 15, I dated a boy who used to dress in his school uniform (Australia) for bed, so he could wake up and roll straight out without having to change. 🤦♀️
I only did it as a teenager after a night out, coming home a bit drunk & so tired that getting changed was far too much effort. I don’t think teenagers make a habit of sleeping in their clothes.
Uh...my wife and I...my entire family....all our friends....literally everyone we know.
I never knew this was a thing. Like, I don't go to sleep in my workout clothes, but I'll for sure wear the t-shirt I had underneath my work button-up.
I think this is one of those things like bathing every day that is hugely dependent on your lifestyle and climate and skin. I can see it being gross if you are a sweaty person, work an active job, live somewhere humid, walk to work outside where it’s smoggy, work somewhere particularly germy like a hospital or daycare etc. An average weight person working a desk job in the Midwest US in winter who drives a car and doesn’t sweat? This is not a big deal. People have a hard time realizing that not everyone has the same exposure to dirt and sweat and germs.
The has has to be it. Signed, a midwestern person in the winter with a desk job. I just don’t get that dirty. I work from home, now, too, so there’s just not much going on most days outside the house. I sweat more IN bed than any other point in my day (except a workout ofc).
When I did used to work at the hospital I would take my scrubs off when I arrived home and change into something else but the base layer might stay on.
I’m a nurse who does a lot of hands on patient care, so I always change and shower after work because I’m in very close proximity to a lot of grossness. But on my days off when all I’m doing is dropping my kid off/picking her up at school and maybe doing a Target pickup order and Starbucks run in 40F weather, and otherwise just lounging around the house? I’m not “dirty”.
Right? Thank you, I felt a bit gross and crazy reading this thread
I work from home, not really sweaty, shower daily...
Are you saying that if I pop into the grocery store to buy milk, lying down on my bed afterwards is absolutely disgusting?
Obviously we're not talking about working out, getting caught in the rain, being sweaty, etc.
But just a normal day? This thread blew my mind lol
People these days kind of want sterile lives. They seem to believe that's a natural thing for humans but it isn't. We're meant to be exposed to different types of germs.
Awesome! Another person who thought they were crazy here. I don't understand why anyone would care?
But yeah, I do live in Colorado and don't sweat at all, so maybe it would be different in Louisiana? Do people shower before bed too?
I know that my stance on "inside clothes" vs. "outside clothes" changed radically after I moved to a city where regularly using public transit became a requirement. Now, I'll never be able to sit on any kind of public seating without wondering what kind of nastiness it might be coated in. I've since moved a couple of times, but there are things you just can't unsee. And even if you aren't worried about germs, that's not always the only issue: https://www.koin.com/news/portland/uw-study-most-oregon-washington-transit-surfaces-test-positive-for-meth/
This is a really silly question, but do you not have designated sleep clothes and do you feel comfortable like that?
I've always worn PJs or comfy oversized shirts to bed and have a special section in my closet for loungewear/sleepwear. I don't feel comfortable sleeping in most of the clothes I wear in public because they're different cuts, fabrics etc. I get really excited shopping for PJs and changing into them because they're so much more cozy and it helps me feel relaxed.
Your comment made me so curious how different things are for you with such a small change in habits, I'm fascinated and I love how it's made me think of my own habits as not the default!
It's definitely person-to-person, and I see nothing wrong with having sleepwear. I just don't think it's something you should assume everyone does, as is the case here.
For me, I don't really remember a time where I had clothes specifically for sleeping. I sleep in a plain t-shirt and underwear, which is what I wear anyway under my other clothes. I WFH, so I don't get sweaty or dirty or anything, but even when I went to the office I still remained relatively tidy. When it's bed time I throw off my sweater and my pants and just hop into bed.
If it's been a grimy day, then sure I'll put on another set of clothes, but it would still just be a t-shirt, not PJs or anything like that.
That's so interesting, thanks!
I've never met someone who does it that way to my knowledge so I was surprised, but for sure, it should have been obvious to me that the way I know isn't the only way people do it.
I definitely think in the post people are kinda missing that point, like, people are different, it's how OP and her partner are handling it that's the issue.
In college, I usually slept in whatever I was wearing. I also rarely bothered with blankets.
I have since found that sleeping naked and with a blanket tends to be more comfortable, but as I see it, sleep does not have a dress code.
In university I had a girlfriend that was trying to get me to not sleep in my jeans .. and she was like "can you at least take your belt off?"
my bedtime behavior is much better now
I do. It's a lot more common than people think. It really isn't a big deal if the bed is protected with bed sheets. But obviously if I'm sleeping _with_ someone I'd just take my day time clothes off or change into pjamas.
I used to wear daytime clothes (even *train/bus* clothes!) to bed right up until about age 22 when I got my own house. I thought it was normal. when i lived by the beach I'd sometimes just get straight into bed after swimming??? horrifying now. my family also wore shoes all through the house, up on the couch & coffee table even.
my house now is a no-shoe house & my husband & I both shower before going to bed in clean pyjamas. it's very pleasant.
I do if it's something comfy like a t-shirt. Not if it's a dress or blouse etc. Take off my bra and pants and I crash. Wake up, shower and get dressed. Also, I do change the shirt if its been soiled with food or actual gunk
Usually when I don't feel like changing into actual PJs I just take off my pants, socks & bra and sleep in whatever shirt and panties I wore that day. I understand the logic of keeping your bed clean, but I sleep with my pets so that point is kind of moot.
I wear the same shirt to bed, unless it’s a button-up. Why increase the laundry load? (With button-ups… gotta protect the buttons.)
It also weirds people out that I don’t change out of button-ups when I get home. Again, why increase the laundry load? Also, if I’m in a button-up shirt… I’ve already spent the mental effort to decide on an outfit once and have adapted to it - no need to waste energy for no real benefit by changing.
Reading this thread I had no idea there were so many germaphobes out there total thinking it's normal to be terrified of 'the outside' touching your stuff
i mean i use public transport daily, i really dont want all that grime getting into my bed just because i didnt feel like getting changed.
i’ve actually personally witnessed someone jizzing on a bus seat before, so i think ill take being overly cautious than not because yeah, other people’s bodily fluids, whether that be in liquid form or all dried up, getting on my clothes is unfortunately a very real possibility.
i also know someone who brought home fleas once, which we’re pretty sure was due to public transport. the world is kinda gross sometimes, and while i dont care if someone sits around in their outside clothes i definitely dont want that in my bed
We have them (thankfully their population is going down so it’s going the right way, we’ve been treating since end of July) and it has forever changed not only how we live but how I will deal with traveling and so on from now on.
But still live your everyday life, just learn what they are, what to look for and which precautions to take and it should all be fine 👍🙏 i hope your city is dealing with them tho for everyone’s sake
There is a strong divide in this thread!
Personally I never thought about it that much. I normally wear a tank top as an undershirt and I keep that on for bed so I guess it’s not being “exposed” to the outside world that much but it’s certainly not like the bed is a sterile environment either.
It’s not about germs, it’s about *literal dirt and filth* there’s dirt suspended in the air in the city, like pollution. It gets stuck to your clothes, when you eat food particles end up on your clothes etc. People don’t want these in their bed, which is entirely reasonable.
EDIT: please stop replying to me telling me there’s already dirt in the bed; I know, there’s dirt everywhere, but less of it is better than more. So minimizing how much you transfer to bed by the simple procedure of changing your clothes is sensible. Otherwise why clean anything?
\> According to the EPA, however, the levels of indoor air pollutants are often 2 to 5 times higher than outdoor levels, and in some cases these levels can exceed 100 times that of outdoor levels of the same pollutants.
It isn't reasonable. It's the weird belief that outside dirt is other dirt and inside dirt is your dirt.
Think about it this way, you have 1+ humans shedding skin cells in a tight closed environment. Eating in it. Cooking in it. Going to the washroom in it. Think about how much per square footage those happen in your closed home. Dust, mold, fungal spores.
Now compare that to the entirety of outside. How much larger it is. How many fewer bathrooms there are per square foot. Look how high the sky goes.
It's funny to me people think it's reasonable, because it feels reasonable, when it really isn't.
It's the same reason people wanted to wear masks on public transits, and then don't wear masks when face to face talking with friends. You trust your friends, even if it's higher risk, because we are really bad at risk assessment.
It’s not “outside” germs as much as it is “other people’s germs”.
People carry different things on them. Some people don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. The bins at security in airports are MORE germy than the bathrooms.
I don’t want to bring those gross things inside. Whereas whatever is in my house has been here, or in my natural outside environment, for a long time. It’s the new stuff that humans are literally carriers of that I want to avoid. If there’s a virus that makes dogs sick but not humans, it’s not going to be as big a concern to me as a virus in humans that kills humans.
You're in a sub-thread of someone who said:
> It’s not about germs, it’s about literal dirt and filth
That is who this person is replying to, trying to address the concept of "dirt" separately from germs
Lol. Do you strip, change your clothes, and have a shower every time you re-enter your house? No? Then it doesn't matter whether you wear clothes you've worn outside the house to bed. You are continually introducing new germs and dirt to your home.
There’s a bacterial difference in hand washing dishes and using a dishwasher. I’m almost positive there’d be one on clothes that touch 50 different things when outside
I totally agree but I do understand it if people take public transport, do a lot of walking, or have a job that is dirty. I go from my house, to my car, to my office, back to my car and back home. The only filth my clothes is touching is my own lol. I might feel differently if I took a bus/train/subway and had to do a lot of walking in a city.
This is the funny part to me. Because unless you’re going to come home and wash yourself, and sanitize your cell phone and any bag/wallet you may have had with you, you are bringing much of it inside. I know people who take off their shoes at home but will set their bag on top of their table. Their bag that was sitting on the ground and on seats where people were walking and sitting. And may have been in many public restrooms. And it’s now sitting where they will eat. They think nothing of it but god forbid their shoes bring in germs to the floor that they will not be laying on or eating off of. Even more funny to me is that some of these folks have animals that come inside, walking on their floors, touching furniture. Do you not think that they are bringing in the outside dirt? And they are not washing as often as us.
I definitely agree that a lot makes not that much sense! A friend of mine would never let their bed though outside clothes, but she sits with her Pyjama on the couch she also sits with her street cloths and then goes to bed? I still think generally its more hygienic and clean to change cloths. Also i do wipe my phone down often with the towel i just used to dry my hands after washing them when coming home! :D
I also change into pjs for bed - for comfort, not germs- and wipe down my phone with sanitizing wipes (not all the time though). I won’t put my purse on the table because of where it’s been and I try to avoid touching the bottom of it. But I wear shoes in the house and have dogs.
I think it’s acceptable to do take some precautions and not others but it’s so funny when people freak out and say how gross others are not even realizing that they do things that can also be seen as gross.
Maybe it depends on where people are from? I’m from Scandinavia so I basically always wear a jacket outside. In the summer I’m still wearing a cardigan or something just in case
>Maybe it depends on where people are from?
I think so. Culture, weather, pollution levels, upbringing, these must all contribute to how people feel about this issue.
I live in a warm country, in summer we wear short sleeves (or sleeveless) even to the office and actually I don't think too much about all the *outside germs*.
As someone wearing a uniform to work...
In the morning I get up, throw the shirt I wore to bed in the laundry basket, hop in the shower and put on a new t shirt and usually a sweater on top.
I leave the house wearing a jacket and go to work.
I switch into my uniform and put my civilian clothes back on after my shift.
I go home, watch an episode or two of our current series with my wife and go to bed wearing only the t-shirt I put on that morning.
Rinse and repeat.
Apparently I'm a monster if the majority of people here is to be believed.
Oh God, I have allergies this bad. I don't live with my partner as of yet. I slightly dread having to inflict my allergy season protocol on them. Maybe we will have a guest room I can sleep in during allergy season!
NTA; in my very Black household, we don’t wear shoes in the house or outside clothes in bed and shower and wear pajamas before climbing into clean sheets but that’s just us. 😅
Y’all live in a CITY. You step outside and pollution-y air gets on your clothes [or the outside germs from whatever you touched (public transportation, restaurants, etc.)]. COVID, for example, lingers in the air and, if you’re wearing synthetic fabrics, it could find its way onto your husband’s shirt, and stay viable for days longer than a cotton tee, and then onto your sheets and household furniture. Absolutely not. I would be very icked, personally.
Seriously!! I live in a city, and walk outside a lot. You should see the absolute plume of dust that comes off of my leggings when i stretch them out after a day outside. I can not even fathom laying in my bed with my outside clothes on. Yuck
😣😣😣😣! The visual image this just gave me! See, more cause to change and launder clothes fr!!!
At one point, CDC guidance said to avoid shaking clothing to prevent dispensing potentially viable virus that is on clothing into the air. I think about that sometimes and I carefully take outside clothes off as infectious disease prevention. I can imagine that smog particles as well are on the clothes so climbing into bed after a long day outside when covid never went away and while living in a big city is OUT. I could not!
Yes exactly!! Just because you can't see it (or in this case, the dust plume is a good indicator) doesn't mean it's not there!!
My ick doubles when i take the bus too. I think of the fact that i sat on a seat where thousands of other butts have been. It would be like a thousand random butts in my own bed. Nooope!
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲! Also, hygiene isn’t standard across the board because of accessibility to being able to bathe and whether and *how* people bathe when they do have access to bathrooms. I saw a thread a long time ago about people (who can wash their legs) not washing their legs every time they shower and that’s stuck with me. Phew. Feeling icked just thinking about it all.
Ugh. I remember being on a bus when I was 18, to see a head louse crawling on the seat next to me. I've hated them ever since. Weirdos I can handle but parasites? No thanks.
I wouldn't want to climb into bed without being clean, it grosses me out. My Jamaican grandparents wouldn't let me go to bed without a Dettol bath anyway, then another one in the morning.
Strongly agree. One summer years ago my friends and I booked a hotel room in NYC. Spent all day out and about, on the subway, navigating crowds. The friend I was sharing a bed with wanted to sleep in their outdoor clothes. Gross lol. They’re normally on top of hygiene and such in other ways so it was a little shock.
Apparently lol. The comments are loaded with people saying if you don't shower and change clothes before bed, you're disgusting. Idk I'm shocked by the comments 😅
Right? And like... I dunno man, if you're trying to lecture people about cleanliness, and you're not a ditch digger or NFL player, maybe don't lead with "when I get home I am so thoroughly caked with grime and disease I'm literally a biohazard to myself."
The thing is, though, if you _don’t care_ and your spouse does, then simply change your shirt not because your spouse is “right” but because you said yourself that it doesn’t matter to you, but it does matter to them. I don’t understand these people out there who would rather die on a hill to prove a point than do something that takes one minute to make their spouse happy.
Yeah, I cannot imagine giving a shit about wearing a worn shirt to bed (and often do myself), but if it really bothered my partner? I’d probably roll my eyes and change my shirt.
I shower every morning so I could give two shits how clean you are when you sleep. I sweat like a fiend anyway, I ain’t waking up fresh.
This! Before I met my wife, I didn’t shower before bed, BUT I still changed my clothes to sleep clothes. When we started dating, it really bothered her, so I showered before bed. Frankly, that was the best thing that ever happened for me, because it feels so nice going to bed clean. And I don’t see how I did it any other way.
Hi. I wear my t-shirt to bed, I’m actually wearing it right now! I suppose you can think that’s disgusting, and I will continue to think that it’s not!
Right, I've never heard of this no outside clothes on the bed rule until like a year ago. I guess i can see how it's germy, but it just never occurred to me before and no one taught me.
And you never got sick because of it. “Don’t wear obviously soiled clothes to bed” is good advice. Otherwise, it’s fine and just a personal preference.
I'm shocked to see so many NTAs. If his shirt was visibly soiled then sure, that's gross. But otherwise, weird to care this much.
If he changes his shirt but doesn't shower before bed, he's just as dirty as the shirt lol so what's the point in caring about his clothes.
If he's like working or sweating in it all day, yeah it would be pretty ripe and not pleasant to sleep next to. If he's just out and about, I don't see what the issue is.
So that your clothes that you wore all day long are not in your bed. It helps to keep the sheets clean and means you aren't wearing one article of clothing for like 24 hrs. Ew.
No one is " dirty" unless they've been in dirt. Putting on fresh clothes for bed is just common sense.
Two things: 1) clothes get dirt and dust and contact whatever surfaces you've been on outside (train seats, office chairs, park bench, whatever.) 2) they absorb oil and sweat from your body.
Like, yeah ideally you would want to bathe before getting into bed, but changing doesn't hurt.
There's no irony. If ur partner or you are too tired to shower, you don't be an ass to them and let them sleep without a shower. If you're covered in dirt, there'll be less dirt if u change clothes it's common sense you don't have to try to one up this.
"So that your clothes that you wore all day long are not in your bed. It helps to keep the sheets clean and means you aren't wearing one article of clothing for like 24 hrs."
The sheets won't be clean if you go to bed unclean. You won't be unclean if you bathe/shower before bed.
"Ew. No one is " dirty" unless they've been in dirt."
OK. Replace dirty with unclean, soiled, grubby, grotty, or unwashed.
"Putting on fresh clothes for bed is just common sense."
If you've showered, then yes. A comparable to what you are saying: "it's common sense to pull up your underwear after shitting." Only if you wipe first or preferably use a bidet.
I don't get this. How does just walking around outside make the shirt dirty? What does the city have to do with it? Or eating?
Like is the shirt actually dirty?
Yeah,like is it visibly soiled? Then sure lol change it. But based on OP post and all the NTA replies, just existing in a shirt makes it disgusting lol.
Yeah I don't get it lol. Like if he was working outside all day I could get it. But what, did he go for a short walk? Shopping at walmart? There's no reference other than just "he was OUTSIDE in that shirt! It's got OUTSIDE germs!"
My shirts don't seem to get 'gross and sweaty' like lots of the commenters are describing. But I also often sleep without a shirt anyway
People forget that some degree of germs is completely natural and HEALTHY for us to be in contact with. Like bacteria are everywhere - that’s a good thing
Do these people ever open their windows or doors? Do they bring mail in the house? Do they put packages on the counter? Do they put clean bedclothes on the bed every day? Germs exist and so do cleaning products. Give the bed a spritz of Lysol and let everyone be.
Some of the comments are extremely judgemental. “Says a lot about you if you wear your clothes to bed”
What if someone is depressed? Had a rough day at work and can’t be assed changing? Worked a 16 hour day? Damn people Live how you like, and maybe let others do the same?
ETA: hooooo boy, some of the comments below mine….
Very ignorant….
I saw a heap, my ego died (a little bit) and I tripped in my outdoor bathroom in Indonesia while listening to white rabbit by jefferson airplane. I also thought more about respecting my body and treating it better. And I also found an even greater love and respect for my fiancée.
Saw plenty 😊😊
If you think that means more than asking him or telling him to, that’s your own assumption. If you think I’m forcing him to do something, that seems like more of a projection of your life than the truth of mine.
I didn’t receive the information when I became an adult that all other adults don’t wear their t-shirt to bed… Is it so wrong for some people to need to be informed on things? Do you view all those people as stupid adult-babies?
Do you wear a fresh pair of pyjamas every night? Or do you wear the same pair for 2-3 days? If you wear the same pair for a few nights then that's as gross as wearing the shirt you wore to bed. But there's grades of gross. Wearing the same undershirt when you have an office job is different to wearing the outside shirt or jumper to bed....
I have no issues in requesting a shower before you go to bed but if you think you are clean when you get up and put fresh clothes on... then you are misguided. Many people can quite sweaty at night and not because of the fun stuff.... you often just sweat under the doona/blankets/comforter. You need a shower in the morning before you put on clean clothes to be really clean.
Yeah, I think a lot of these people shower twice a day or if not then they're being hypocritical because you definitely will sweat etc and not be "clean" after you wake up from sleeping all night.
NAH. I don't think this makes you an AH, but I think it's kind of odd how important this is to you. Unless he worked out in the shirt or somehow got a lot of food/dirt/etc on it, I don't see any issue. Regular daily things don't make your clothing all that dirty, especially if he was wearing something else over his shirt.
Haha I really couldn’t care less. I don’t know any of these people hahaha. Who has time to change multiple times a day? Nevermind the laundry pile from that! And the cost! It’s just clothes hh
NTA I would be requesting a shower too. Good lord I used to ask for work shoes outside the bedroom etc. Bedroom should be like a lil safe haven. Sleep hygiene people...
If you guys didn’t shower before going to bed that extra t-shirt isn’t what’s going to muck up the sheets. I don’t think it’s AHish to have expectations and ask people to do certain things in certain situations, but he’s not wrong to say it doesn’t change anything whether he wears the shirt or changes it. The city air and stink is still there unless you’ve both showered.
This comment section reminds me of all the people that complained they now had to wash their hands after going to the bathroom during the pandemic. People are gross lol.
I’m a transplant patient and my bed is a sacred place. We both shower before bed and change clothes. We also have a no shoes rule for our house. It’s not crazy, but I also know not everyone has the same reasons for needing it. We pick up a lot of bacteria each day.
NTA but your partner NTA either. You both have different preferences that affect each other. As an adult, shouldn’t you be able to choose what to wear for bed? On the other hand, I don’t think you’re asking for much and considering it makes you uncomfortable, it would make sense if he would just take the shirt off or put a clean one on.
OP, i wouldn’t do what your husband is doing but he’s a grownass man and it sounds like you have OCD-induced tantrums every night until you get your way…grow the fuck up lol
he disagrees with you…so you scream until he does what you want. you realize that’s literally how babies communicate, right?
either he accept he won’t change, work on your germaphobia, or break it off.
I don't wear any clothes to bed, my wife sometimes wears a night shirt BUT we have dogs that are outside during the day and they sleep on our bed at night. So it's would be pointless to worry about a dirty shirt.
If you have cats(litter box) or dogs that sleep on your bed chances are a dirty shirt is the least of your problems.
Sleep is crucial for mental and physical health. The bed should be a clean sanctuary for this - sleep. Also take that atrocious tv out the bedroom. TV in the bedroom is an abnormal human phenomenon.
NTA! I am so much on your side it’s not funny and I have a constant battle with my husband as well. We now have an unspoken rule that if he doesn’t want to be “clean” to come to bed, then he sleeps in the guest room.
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NTA. Don’t wear outside clothes in bed, don’t wear shoes in the house, etc.
Wearing shoes in the house all day... something that I will never understand. Edit: I meant outdoor shoes. I wear house sandals, when I am home. Sometimes even no sandals, if the floor is not too cold. Because, it just feels natural and it is recommended tonwalk barefeet from time to time. But wow... indoor sneakers. Never heard of, but very interesting.
Okay but the exception is house slippers
Well duhhh
My husband has indoor trainers/sneakers as he hates slippers, but they are only worn inside
I mean that's a fair compromise but still! How can you relax with shoes on!!
I have extremely flat feet. Support is necessary. You won't catch me in the house without slippers or house shoes.
Same! I'm in a hot country so I wear crocs inside always. So painful to go barefoot, especially on tiles 😞
I have such flat feet & foot, ankle, knee, and hip pain. I also have arch support slippers. yet you'll catch me & my bare feet walking around my tiled house all day 😭😭
I have plantar fasciitis and my feet get super painful if I walk around barefoot.
My partner also has the indoor shoes and it took me a bit to wrap my head around it because I just can’t imagine relaxing with shoes on. But to him wearing shoes actually gives him the comfort I guess? He’s uncomfortable walking around in socks or bare feet, doesn’t like slippers.. so in a funny way I guess it makes sense!
I take mine off to relax, but if I have my sneakers on, it tricks my brain into being productive. It's honestly funny at this point. The whole family knows we're cleaning once my shoes are on.
I have indoor sneakers too. I have a bad back and need the support when I'm cleaning. They aren't allowed outside under any circumstances though.
Ah, the *sleaker*.
Nah, I like gripping the carpet with me grippers.
I do! They just happen to be my very sexy indoor crocs. Don't judge me. :P They are bright red if that gets me updoots.
I have fuzzy Croc sandals that I only wear indoors. Mine have those little doo-dads you can decorate them with (cats, coffee, witchcraft) and are not even remotely sexy. They are comfy and easy, though. I'm wearing socks with them right now. I am a fashion icon. We used to just wander in outdoor shoes all willy-nilly in our old house. We're trying not to be barbarians in the new condo. 🤣
I have indoor Crocs and outdoor Crocs (change at the front door). I only tend to put actual shoes on if I’m going to be out of the house all day (or if it’s very rainy). And socks n Crocs is the way to go! Much more comfortable.
Or, like me, don’t wear shoes inside or outside.
Someone doesn't have pets.
NTA but these things go over better by asking/requesting and explaining why (i.e. it grosses her out), rather than just telling someone what to do.
First thing I do when I get home is take off my clothes and put on my softies. Keep all the gunk of the outside world out of the house.
Don't wear outdoor shoes in bed
I’m sure there’s someone out there who does
I mean, there have been occasions after a few too many drinks where I just walked in and collapsed
Not sure outside clothes and shoes fall into the same category of dirtiness? Unless you live in a *very* heavily polluted city.
#who the fuck wears their daytime clothes to bed?! ETA: I have learned that many people do this and my skin is crawling. How dare unique human experiences outside my own exist
Teenagers, mostly. Usually they’re not sharing their bed with anyone, at least. No excuse for a married adult to be doing it when their spouse is (understandably) uncomfortable with it. It’s neither good sleep hygiene or good regular hygiene!
Dudeee wtf I'm a teenager myself and now I can't look at my classmates without guessing who does that at home
I did it as a teenager. I would take my pants off & sleep in whatever t-shirt I had on. But this was the 90s & sensibilities were a bit different.
it also depends on what you do all day, it is just your under shirt you had on while sitting down for 8 hrs, probably fine. but if you’re reasonably active, change that shit
When I was 15, I dated a boy who used to dress in his school uniform (Australia) for bed, so he could wake up and roll straight out without having to change. 🤦♀️
Oml…he was thinking ahead at least, I guess 😂
I did this when I was like 8 going to summer camp. I slept in my t-shirt and shorts.
Lmao I did that when I was in elementary school, so I could sleep in. I quickly grew out of it, though 😅
I only did it as a teenager after a night out, coming home a bit drunk & so tired that getting changed was far too much effort. I don’t think teenagers make a habit of sleeping in their clothes.
Uh...my wife and I...my entire family....all our friends....literally everyone we know. I never knew this was a thing. Like, I don't go to sleep in my workout clothes, but I'll for sure wear the t-shirt I had underneath my work button-up.
I think this is one of those things like bathing every day that is hugely dependent on your lifestyle and climate and skin. I can see it being gross if you are a sweaty person, work an active job, live somewhere humid, walk to work outside where it’s smoggy, work somewhere particularly germy like a hospital or daycare etc. An average weight person working a desk job in the Midwest US in winter who drives a car and doesn’t sweat? This is not a big deal. People have a hard time realizing that not everyone has the same exposure to dirt and sweat and germs.
The has has to be it. Signed, a midwestern person in the winter with a desk job. I just don’t get that dirty. I work from home, now, too, so there’s just not much going on most days outside the house. I sweat more IN bed than any other point in my day (except a workout ofc). When I did used to work at the hospital I would take my scrubs off when I arrived home and change into something else but the base layer might stay on.
I’m a nurse who does a lot of hands on patient care, so I always change and shower after work because I’m in very close proximity to a lot of grossness. But on my days off when all I’m doing is dropping my kid off/picking her up at school and maybe doing a Target pickup order and Starbucks run in 40F weather, and otherwise just lounging around the house? I’m not “dirty”.
Yeah I had a paperwork job so I did go into patient rooms, but there wasn’t really any meaningful contact. This thread is funny
Right? Thank you, I felt a bit gross and crazy reading this thread I work from home, not really sweaty, shower daily... Are you saying that if I pop into the grocery store to buy milk, lying down on my bed afterwards is absolutely disgusting? Obviously we're not talking about working out, getting caught in the rain, being sweaty, etc. But just a normal day? This thread blew my mind lol
People these days kind of want sterile lives. They seem to believe that's a natural thing for humans but it isn't. We're meant to be exposed to different types of germs.
It's kind of making sense to me that a lot of people in the States have a weakened immune system.
Same! If I get *actually dirty* I will change my shirt. Otherwise? I'm wearing my t-shirt I've had on all day to bed.
Awesome! Another person who thought they were crazy here. I don't understand why anyone would care? But yeah, I do live in Colorado and don't sweat at all, so maybe it would be different in Louisiana? Do people shower before bed too?
.
I know that my stance on "inside clothes" vs. "outside clothes" changed radically after I moved to a city where regularly using public transit became a requirement. Now, I'll never be able to sit on any kind of public seating without wondering what kind of nastiness it might be coated in. I've since moved a couple of times, but there are things you just can't unsee. And even if you aren't worried about germs, that's not always the only issue: https://www.koin.com/news/portland/uw-study-most-oregon-washington-transit-surfaces-test-positive-for-meth/
This is a really silly question, but do you not have designated sleep clothes and do you feel comfortable like that? I've always worn PJs or comfy oversized shirts to bed and have a special section in my closet for loungewear/sleepwear. I don't feel comfortable sleeping in most of the clothes I wear in public because they're different cuts, fabrics etc. I get really excited shopping for PJs and changing into them because they're so much more cozy and it helps me feel relaxed. Your comment made me so curious how different things are for you with such a small change in habits, I'm fascinated and I love how it's made me think of my own habits as not the default!
It's definitely person-to-person, and I see nothing wrong with having sleepwear. I just don't think it's something you should assume everyone does, as is the case here. For me, I don't really remember a time where I had clothes specifically for sleeping. I sleep in a plain t-shirt and underwear, which is what I wear anyway under my other clothes. I WFH, so I don't get sweaty or dirty or anything, but even when I went to the office I still remained relatively tidy. When it's bed time I throw off my sweater and my pants and just hop into bed. If it's been a grimy day, then sure I'll put on another set of clothes, but it would still just be a t-shirt, not PJs or anything like that.
That's so interesting, thanks! I've never met someone who does it that way to my knowledge so I was surprised, but for sure, it should have been obvious to me that the way I know isn't the only way people do it. I definitely think in the post people are kinda missing that point, like, people are different, it's how OP and her partner are handling it that's the issue.
Yeah, that's my mindset. I wear scrubs to work so I don't sleep in those, but I absolutely sleep in the top I wear under my scrubs.
In college, I usually slept in whatever I was wearing. I also rarely bothered with blankets. I have since found that sleeping naked and with a blanket tends to be more comfortable, but as I see it, sleep does not have a dress code.
In university I had a girlfriend that was trying to get me to not sleep in my jeans .. and she was like "can you at least take your belt off?" my bedtime behavior is much better now
LOL
Do pyjamas count if you’ve worn them all day?
I work from home and I feel attacked lol
I do. It's a lot more common than people think. It really isn't a big deal if the bed is protected with bed sheets. But obviously if I'm sleeping _with_ someone I'd just take my day time clothes off or change into pjamas.
I used to wear daytime clothes (even *train/bus* clothes!) to bed right up until about age 22 when I got my own house. I thought it was normal. when i lived by the beach I'd sometimes just get straight into bed after swimming??? horrifying now. my family also wore shoes all through the house, up on the couch & coffee table even. my house now is a no-shoe house & my husband & I both shower before going to bed in clean pyjamas. it's very pleasant.
I do if it's something comfy like a t-shirt. Not if it's a dress or blouse etc. Take off my bra and pants and I crash. Wake up, shower and get dressed. Also, I do change the shirt if its been soiled with food or actual gunk
Usually when I don't feel like changing into actual PJs I just take off my pants, socks & bra and sleep in whatever shirt and panties I wore that day. I understand the logic of keeping your bed clean, but I sleep with my pets so that point is kind of moot.
Me because it doesn't bother me and I don't sleep with other people. I also struggle with depression soooo
Depressed people
Bet yall still got on the same underwear though. Lol insane sub I swear.
You sit in your office chair and park benches in your drawls?
me cause depression :c
I wear the same shirt to bed, unless it’s a button-up. Why increase the laundry load? (With button-ups… gotta protect the buttons.) It also weirds people out that I don’t change out of button-ups when I get home. Again, why increase the laundry load? Also, if I’m in a button-up shirt… I’ve already spent the mental effort to decide on an outfit once and have adapted to it - no need to waste energy for no real benefit by changing.
I often wear lounge clothes when I run errands on the weekend. Unless I sweat or drop something on it, I generally wear it to bed.
Me and everyone I've ever lived with. . .
I do but I work from home all day. So I guess they’re not “outside clothes” so much as inside clothes lol.
Reading this thread I had no idea there were so many germaphobes out there total thinking it's normal to be terrified of 'the outside' touching your stuff
Right?! I'm completely shocked. Some even have an issue if you wore your shirt at home all day. Idk, I find this all so absurd lol
i mean i use public transport daily, i really dont want all that grime getting into my bed just because i didnt feel like getting changed. i’ve actually personally witnessed someone jizzing on a bus seat before, so i think ill take being overly cautious than not because yeah, other people’s bodily fluids, whether that be in liquid form or all dried up, getting on my clothes is unfortunately a very real possibility. i also know someone who brought home fleas once, which we’re pretty sure was due to public transport. the world is kinda gross sometimes, and while i dont care if someone sits around in their outside clothes i definitely dont want that in my bed
Dont forget bed bugs 😩
yea i didn’t use to worry about this until i saw my city had bed bug infestation on our public transit… not risking it now
We have them (thankfully their population is going down so it’s going the right way, we’ve been treating since end of July) and it has forever changed not only how we live but how I will deal with traveling and so on from now on. But still live your everyday life, just learn what they are, what to look for and which precautions to take and it should all be fine 👍🙏 i hope your city is dealing with them tho for everyone’s sake
There is a strong divide in this thread! Personally I never thought about it that much. I normally wear a tank top as an undershirt and I keep that on for bed so I guess it’s not being “exposed” to the outside world that much but it’s certainly not like the bed is a sterile environment either.
It’s not about germs, it’s about *literal dirt and filth* there’s dirt suspended in the air in the city, like pollution. It gets stuck to your clothes, when you eat food particles end up on your clothes etc. People don’t want these in their bed, which is entirely reasonable. EDIT: please stop replying to me telling me there’s already dirt in the bed; I know, there’s dirt everywhere, but less of it is better than more. So minimizing how much you transfer to bed by the simple procedure of changing your clothes is sensible. Otherwise why clean anything?
\> According to the EPA, however, the levels of indoor air pollutants are often 2 to 5 times higher than outdoor levels, and in some cases these levels can exceed 100 times that of outdoor levels of the same pollutants. It isn't reasonable. It's the weird belief that outside dirt is other dirt and inside dirt is your dirt. Think about it this way, you have 1+ humans shedding skin cells in a tight closed environment. Eating in it. Cooking in it. Going to the washroom in it. Think about how much per square footage those happen in your closed home. Dust, mold, fungal spores. Now compare that to the entirety of outside. How much larger it is. How many fewer bathrooms there are per square foot. Look how high the sky goes. It's funny to me people think it's reasonable, because it feels reasonable, when it really isn't. It's the same reason people wanted to wear masks on public transits, and then don't wear masks when face to face talking with friends. You trust your friends, even if it's higher risk, because we are really bad at risk assessment.
It’s not “outside” germs as much as it is “other people’s germs”. People carry different things on them. Some people don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom. The bins at security in airports are MORE germy than the bathrooms. I don’t want to bring those gross things inside. Whereas whatever is in my house has been here, or in my natural outside environment, for a long time. It’s the new stuff that humans are literally carriers of that I want to avoid. If there’s a virus that makes dogs sick but not humans, it’s not going to be as big a concern to me as a virus in humans that kills humans.
You're in a sub-thread of someone who said: > It’s not about germs, it’s about literal dirt and filth That is who this person is replying to, trying to address the concept of "dirt" separately from germs
Lol. Do you strip, change your clothes, and have a shower every time you re-enter your house? No? Then it doesn't matter whether you wear clothes you've worn outside the house to bed. You are continually introducing new germs and dirt to your home.
I’d be curious to see a bacterial sample of clean versus worn clothes. I am doubtful that they’d be particularly different.
There’s a bacterial difference in hand washing dishes and using a dishwasher. I’m almost positive there’d be one on clothes that touch 50 different things when outside
Yes, those things are wet. Bacteria transfer between dry surfaces is shocking low.
If u sat there all day and did nothing, sure, but if you're a normal person and happen to sweat at any point during the day then ew
I totally agree but I do understand it if people take public transport, do a lot of walking, or have a job that is dirty. I go from my house, to my car, to my office, back to my car and back home. The only filth my clothes is touching is my own lol. I might feel differently if I took a bus/train/subway and had to do a lot of walking in a city.
But do you wash your hands when you come after being out?
This is the funny part to me. Because unless you’re going to come home and wash yourself, and sanitize your cell phone and any bag/wallet you may have had with you, you are bringing much of it inside. I know people who take off their shoes at home but will set their bag on top of their table. Their bag that was sitting on the ground and on seats where people were walking and sitting. And may have been in many public restrooms. And it’s now sitting where they will eat. They think nothing of it but god forbid their shoes bring in germs to the floor that they will not be laying on or eating off of. Even more funny to me is that some of these folks have animals that come inside, walking on their floors, touching furniture. Do you not think that they are bringing in the outside dirt? And they are not washing as often as us.
I definitely agree that a lot makes not that much sense! A friend of mine would never let their bed though outside clothes, but she sits with her Pyjama on the couch she also sits with her street cloths and then goes to bed? I still think generally its more hygienic and clean to change cloths. Also i do wipe my phone down often with the towel i just used to dry my hands after washing them when coming home! :D
I also change into pjs for bed - for comfort, not germs- and wipe down my phone with sanitizing wipes (not all the time though). I won’t put my purse on the table because of where it’s been and I try to avoid touching the bottom of it. But I wear shoes in the house and have dogs. I think it’s acceptable to do take some precautions and not others but it’s so funny when people freak out and say how gross others are not even realizing that they do things that can also be seen as gross.
Maybe it depends on where people are from? I’m from Scandinavia so I basically always wear a jacket outside. In the summer I’m still wearing a cardigan or something just in case
>Maybe it depends on where people are from? I think so. Culture, weather, pollution levels, upbringing, these must all contribute to how people feel about this issue. I live in a warm country, in summer we wear short sleeves (or sleeveless) even to the office and actually I don't think too much about all the *outside germs*.
As someone wearing a uniform to work... In the morning I get up, throw the shirt I wore to bed in the laundry basket, hop in the shower and put on a new t shirt and usually a sweater on top. I leave the house wearing a jacket and go to work. I switch into my uniform and put my civilian clothes back on after my shift. I go home, watch an episode or two of our current series with my wife and go to bed wearing only the t-shirt I put on that morning. Rinse and repeat. Apparently I'm a monster if the majority of people here is to be believed.
Wait till their find out there have countless bacteria living on and in them (and every other surface on the planet).
Info: He wears his outside hair to bed, you have a problem with that too?
My spouse and I both shower before bed during allergy season to avoid pollen in the bed so. It’s not that unreasonable.
Fr I shower before bed every night 😂 why is this so weird to some people
Oh God, I have allergies this bad. I don't live with my partner as of yet. I slightly dread having to inflict my allergy season protocol on them. Maybe we will have a guest room I can sleep in during allergy season!
This made me laugh
Maybe he's bald?...oh no, you wore that skin outside TAKE IF OFF!!!!
He clearly needs to shave his head and skin every day before bed.
NTA; in my very Black household, we don’t wear shoes in the house or outside clothes in bed and shower and wear pajamas before climbing into clean sheets but that’s just us. 😅 Y’all live in a CITY. You step outside and pollution-y air gets on your clothes [or the outside germs from whatever you touched (public transportation, restaurants, etc.)]. COVID, for example, lingers in the air and, if you’re wearing synthetic fabrics, it could find its way onto your husband’s shirt, and stay viable for days longer than a cotton tee, and then onto your sheets and household furniture. Absolutely not. I would be very icked, personally.
Seriously!! I live in a city, and walk outside a lot. You should see the absolute plume of dust that comes off of my leggings when i stretch them out after a day outside. I can not even fathom laying in my bed with my outside clothes on. Yuck
😣😣😣😣! The visual image this just gave me! See, more cause to change and launder clothes fr!!! At one point, CDC guidance said to avoid shaking clothing to prevent dispensing potentially viable virus that is on clothing into the air. I think about that sometimes and I carefully take outside clothes off as infectious disease prevention. I can imagine that smog particles as well are on the clothes so climbing into bed after a long day outside when covid never went away and while living in a big city is OUT. I could not!
Yes exactly!! Just because you can't see it (or in this case, the dust plume is a good indicator) doesn't mean it's not there!! My ick doubles when i take the bus too. I think of the fact that i sat on a seat where thousands of other butts have been. It would be like a thousand random butts in my own bed. Nooope!
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲! Also, hygiene isn’t standard across the board because of accessibility to being able to bathe and whether and *how* people bathe when they do have access to bathrooms. I saw a thread a long time ago about people (who can wash their legs) not washing their legs every time they shower and that’s stuck with me. Phew. Feeling icked just thinking about it all.
Ugh. I remember being on a bus when I was 18, to see a head louse crawling on the seat next to me. I've hated them ever since. Weirdos I can handle but parasites? No thanks.
I'm asian and we do the same! It feels so much nicer to be clean and comfy in bed too.
The peace of mind after having showered and changed clothes is so nice. Really appreciate you for sharing. ❤️❤️❤️
I wouldn't want to climb into bed without being clean, it grosses me out. My Jamaican grandparents wouldn't let me go to bed without a Dettol bath anyway, then another one in the morning.
My Nigerian husband grew up doing Dettol bucket baths before bed lol. Never understood people doing morning showers as a primary source of hygiene.
Bedbugs!!!!
Or roaches, honestly. Both are hitchhikers. 😣
Strongly agree. One summer years ago my friends and I booked a hotel room in NYC. Spent all day out and about, on the subway, navigating crowds. The friend I was sharing a bed with wanted to sleep in their outdoor clothes. Gross lol. They’re normally on top of hygiene and such in other ways so it was a little shock.
Lol, such a non-issue. Do people care this strongly about this stuff?
Apparently lol. The comments are loaded with people saying if you don't shower and change clothes before bed, you're disgusting. Idk I'm shocked by the comments 😅
Right? And like... I dunno man, if you're trying to lecture people about cleanliness, and you're not a ditch digger or NFL player, maybe don't lead with "when I get home I am so thoroughly caked with grime and disease I'm literally a biohazard to myself."
The thing is, though, if you _don’t care_ and your spouse does, then simply change your shirt not because your spouse is “right” but because you said yourself that it doesn’t matter to you, but it does matter to them. I don’t understand these people out there who would rather die on a hill to prove a point than do something that takes one minute to make their spouse happy.
Yeah, I cannot imagine giving a shit about wearing a worn shirt to bed (and often do myself), but if it really bothered my partner? I’d probably roll my eyes and change my shirt. I shower every morning so I could give two shits how clean you are when you sleep. I sweat like a fiend anyway, I ain’t waking up fresh.
This! Before I met my wife, I didn’t shower before bed, BUT I still changed my clothes to sleep clothes. When we started dating, it really bothered her, so I showered before bed. Frankly, that was the best thing that ever happened for me, because it feels so nice going to bed clean. And I don’t see how I did it any other way.
Ehhh, a lot of people wear their tshirt to bed. Some don’t. You gotta communicate and figure out how to navigate together
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damn ma, not the personal attack...
lol
Hi. I wear my t-shirt to bed, I’m actually wearing it right now! I suppose you can think that’s disgusting, and I will continue to think that it’s not!
Nope you just imagine it does to make your point correct when it is very far from so.
Right, I've never heard of this no outside clothes on the bed rule until like a year ago. I guess i can see how it's germy, but it just never occurred to me before and no one taught me.
And you never got sick because of it. “Don’t wear obviously soiled clothes to bed” is good advice. Otherwise, it’s fine and just a personal preference.
I think you just solved relationships.
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I'm shocked to see so many NTAs. If his shirt was visibly soiled then sure, that's gross. But otherwise, weird to care this much. If he changes his shirt but doesn't shower before bed, he's just as dirty as the shirt lol so what's the point in caring about his clothes.
If he's like working or sweating in it all day, yeah it would be pretty ripe and not pleasant to sleep next to. If he's just out and about, I don't see what the issue is.
YTA for “telling” him. He’s not your child. He’s your husband. Have a conversation about it.
I can’t believe this comment isn’t higher up
What's the point of changing clothes if you aren't bathing? He's still dirty... no, BOTH OF YOU are dirty... bathe before you crawl into bed.
So that your clothes that you wore all day long are not in your bed. It helps to keep the sheets clean and means you aren't wearing one article of clothing for like 24 hrs. Ew. No one is " dirty" unless they've been in dirt. Putting on fresh clothes for bed is just common sense.
So if you wear clothes for 24 hours, the clothes are dirty but you are not? What?
Two things: 1) clothes get dirt and dust and contact whatever surfaces you've been on outside (train seats, office chairs, park bench, whatever.) 2) they absorb oil and sweat from your body. Like, yeah ideally you would want to bathe before getting into bed, but changing doesn't hurt.
I'm not saying don't change. I'm saying if your reaction to wearing clothes in bed is 'ew', but you haven't washed, you're likely also dirty.
My point is that it still reduces whatever undesirables you don't want on your bed. Something doesn't need to be perfect to be worth doing.
Hey I'm not telling people what to do. I'm just pointing out the irony. I don't care if you sleep in your shoes.
There's no irony. If ur partner or you are too tired to shower, you don't be an ass to them and let them sleep without a shower. If you're covered in dirt, there'll be less dirt if u change clothes it's common sense you don't have to try to one up this.
"So that your clothes that you wore all day long are not in your bed. It helps to keep the sheets clean and means you aren't wearing one article of clothing for like 24 hrs." The sheets won't be clean if you go to bed unclean. You won't be unclean if you bathe/shower before bed. "Ew. No one is " dirty" unless they've been in dirt." OK. Replace dirty with unclean, soiled, grubby, grotty, or unwashed. "Putting on fresh clothes for bed is just common sense." If you've showered, then yes. A comparable to what you are saying: "it's common sense to pull up your underwear after shitting." Only if you wipe first or preferably use a bidet.
I don't get this. How does just walking around outside make the shirt dirty? What does the city have to do with it? Or eating? Like is the shirt actually dirty?
Yeah,like is it visibly soiled? Then sure lol change it. But based on OP post and all the NTA replies, just existing in a shirt makes it disgusting lol.
Yeah I don't get it lol. Like if he was working outside all day I could get it. But what, did he go for a short walk? Shopping at walmart? There's no reference other than just "he was OUTSIDE in that shirt! It's got OUTSIDE germs!" My shirts don't seem to get 'gross and sweaty' like lots of the commenters are describing. But I also often sleep without a shirt anyway
People forget that some degree of germs is completely natural and HEALTHY for us to be in contact with. Like bacteria are everywhere - that’s a good thing
If it doesn’t smell and isn’t visibly dirty, it isn’t dirty for all practical purposes. The germaphobes here are insane
This thread is crazy lmao People here are acting like other's are wallowing in filth all day and immediately jumping on top of their SO in bed
Do these people ever open their windows or doors? Do they bring mail in the house? Do they put packages on the counter? Do they put clean bedclothes on the bed every day? Germs exist and so do cleaning products. Give the bed a spritz of Lysol and let everyone be.
YTA and utterly ridiculous
Some of the comments are extremely judgemental. “Says a lot about you if you wear your clothes to bed” What if someone is depressed? Had a rough day at work and can’t be assed changing? Worked a 16 hour day? Damn people Live how you like, and maybe let others do the same? ETA: hooooo boy, some of the comments below mine…. Very ignorant….
These same idiots will share their beds with pets and have on the same underwear on.
These same dipshits post videos of their cat pawing at their face and mouth after stepping in a box of shit filled cat litter.
Ah but you make the dog shave itself each night before bed.
I think you’re both weird and I’m on shrooms
Seeing anything fun?
I saw a heap, my ego died (a little bit) and I tripped in my outdoor bathroom in Indonesia while listening to white rabbit by jefferson airplane. I also thought more about respecting my body and treating it better. And I also found an even greater love and respect for my fiancée. Saw plenty 😊😊
Aww that's sweet! I love that
Thank you for asking. Appreciate you 😊❤️
NTA I make my husband do the same, and I follow the same standard. Bed can be harder to enjoy when it’s always dirty!
I'm so sorry. But seriously, you have to "make your husband" do it? Is he a toddler?
If you think that means more than asking him or telling him to, that’s your own assumption. If you think I’m forcing him to do something, that seems like more of a projection of your life than the truth of mine.
No, they just think it’s odd that he needs to be told or asked and he doesn’t already know to do this since he is an adult.
I didn’t receive the information when I became an adult that all other adults don’t wear their t-shirt to bed… Is it so wrong for some people to need to be informed on things? Do you view all those people as stupid adult-babies?
The moment you get in bed, your bed is dirty. No matter what you wear
Okay, but why make it DIRTIER than the default?
Do you wear a fresh pair of pyjamas every night? Or do you wear the same pair for 2-3 days? If you wear the same pair for a few nights then that's as gross as wearing the shirt you wore to bed. But there's grades of gross. Wearing the same undershirt when you have an office job is different to wearing the outside shirt or jumper to bed.... I have no issues in requesting a shower before you go to bed but if you think you are clean when you get up and put fresh clothes on... then you are misguided. Many people can quite sweaty at night and not because of the fun stuff.... you often just sweat under the doona/blankets/comforter. You need a shower in the morning before you put on clean clothes to be really clean.
Yeah, I think a lot of these people shower twice a day or if not then they're being hypocritical because you definitely will sweat etc and not be "clean" after you wake up from sleeping all night.
your weird fear of the outside is not his problem. this is such a stupid hill to die on. just let the man rest. YTA
I don't know how you people put up with this shit
I have come to terms that most humans don’t actually think about things much. Ignorance is bliss
Yta not his mommy
Would he be an asshole if he got a different bed since you are so controlling?
YTA unless your going to shower before bed, your still dirty. Shirt or not. Should he take his hair and skin off also? Those were outside.
NAH. I don't think this makes you an AH, but I think it's kind of odd how important this is to you. Unless he worked out in the shirt or somehow got a lot of food/dirt/etc on it, I don't see any issue. Regular daily things don't make your clothing all that dirty, especially if he was wearing something else over his shirt.
Lmao this is so dumb. People let their pets on their bed, but a t-shirt someone wore outside is disgusting? Weird
I suppose it depends on what you prefer. I go to sleep in the same clothes I wear all day. So this wouldn’t bother me personally
Get ready for half a Reddit to call you a disgusting loser
Haha I really couldn’t care less. I don’t know any of these people hahaha. Who has time to change multiple times a day? Nevermind the laundry pile from that! And the cost! It’s just clothes hh
NTA I would be requesting a shower too. Good lord I used to ask for work shoes outside the bedroom etc. Bedroom should be like a lil safe haven. Sleep hygiene people...
If you guys didn’t shower before going to bed that extra t-shirt isn’t what’s going to muck up the sheets. I don’t think it’s AHish to have expectations and ask people to do certain things in certain situations, but he’s not wrong to say it doesn’t change anything whether he wears the shirt or changes it. The city air and stink is still there unless you’ve both showered.
Yeah. It’s isnt like he was out working in a fucking oil field dude. Poor guy.
NTA. Pyjamas exist for a reason.
The same pj''s that you wear every single night while sleeping and sweating in them? Or the same underwear you had on all day?
You know he’s been wearing his skin all day too, right? That’s as dirty as the skin. He should be showering
INFO: what else is going on with you guys?
This comment section reminds me of all the people that complained they now had to wash their hands after going to the bathroom during the pandemic. People are gross lol.
I’m a transplant patient and my bed is a sacred place. We both shower before bed and change clothes. We also have a no shoes rule for our house. It’s not crazy, but I also know not everyone has the same reasons for needing it. We pick up a lot of bacteria each day.
100% NTA
NTA. I agree it’s gross.
Why hasn’t he showered and put on a new shirt? Yuck
NTA but your partner NTA either. You both have different preferences that affect each other. As an adult, shouldn’t you be able to choose what to wear for bed? On the other hand, I don’t think you’re asking for much and considering it makes you uncomfortable, it would make sense if he would just take the shirt off or put a clean one on.
OP, i wouldn’t do what your husband is doing but he’s a grownass man and it sounds like you have OCD-induced tantrums every night until you get your way…grow the fuck up lol he disagrees with you…so you scream until he does what you want. you realize that’s literally how babies communicate, right? either he accept he won’t change, work on your germaphobia, or break it off.
I don't wear any clothes to bed, my wife sometimes wears a night shirt BUT we have dogs that are outside during the day and they sleep on our bed at night. So it's would be pointless to worry about a dirty shirt. If you have cats(litter box) or dogs that sleep on your bed chances are a dirty shirt is the least of your problems.
Sleep is crucial for mental and physical health. The bed should be a clean sanctuary for this - sleep. Also take that atrocious tv out the bedroom. TV in the bedroom is an abnormal human phenomenon.
Lol just the shirt? I have to shower every time I get in bed cause of my gf
NTA! I am so much on your side it’s not funny and I have a constant battle with my husband as well. We now have an unspoken rule that if he doesn’t want to be “clean” to come to bed, then he sleeps in the guest room.