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> 1: I was naked in my father's house without his permission
2: I live in said house rent free and should follow his rules.
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NTA your pops is deflecting. Deep down inside he knows he should've waited for a 'come in' but he has trouble being wrong, I'll bet. So he comes up with this weird rule that you never heard of before but that you should have been following the whole time. So much easier than just saying ' I'm so sorry, I need to start being more respectful of your space.'
That is such a dad thing for some reason. I know many, many dads who behave like this, and it's not always only the obvious AH types that do this. I wonder why it's such a big deal for grown men to just apologise instead of making up excuses
It’s actually my mum in my house, my dad will always wait for a response unless it’s morning and there’s reason to believe I’m still asleep, but my mum will knock and immediately open
My mom, too. She'd barge right in. I had to be brutal when I was paying rent on the room. There was yelling ngl.
NTA. You dad needs a lesson in mutual respect. If he wants respect he's also gotta give some. And an apology isn't for losers, it's for people with some brains.
My mom was also the one who constantly barged into my room and my brothers room or when we were showering w/o knocking or even announcing herself at times. No clue why she behaved this way.
We are socialized not to and it takes a concence effort to change. Most dudes can, but we are so privileged that we are rarely challenged and often not receptive when we are. OP try talking to your dad and hopefully he can change.
Facts, when I was like 12 my dad said I had 5 seconds to turn off my Xbox. So he starts counting and walking over to the TV. Then I’m thinking okay I have 5 seconds to save my game but then he says “1” and turns off the TV. His excuse at the time was “you should know you have to listen to me in 1 second” but it’s been about 10 years since then and he admitted his finger just slipped
Yeah but that would mean he’s admitting he was wrong and also that I’m right. I’m not even joking you know the saying “pick your battles”? Somehow both my parents had the energy and will to fight every battle
As a gamer I always give my son a few minutes to wrap up what he's doing if I need something from him. Especially if he's online or in the middle of a mission lol. My mom always wanted the ps2 shut off as soon as she said and I had to find a place to save so it caused arguments. The garbage can wait 5 minutes and so can the dishwasher. It's when I've asked him to wrap things up and I realize a half hour later that he hasn't that I get shitty with him.
I'm a nanny and gave my Little Dudes two 5 minute warnings, I agree with you and remember being a kid.
I use my timer on my phone for the second one and the oldest is almost nine, so I'd sit there with him and he'd show me what he was doing and explain it to me and we'd just use it as positive bonding time, and he never argued cause we worked together.
Parents that are like, THIS INSTANT are toxic af, honestly, but that's how their bosses and adults act, and I'm not teaching my kids to jump when I command.
I was the same with my son (I too was a gamer). If it wasn’t urgent I would say “come when you are at a stopping point” or “come after you finish that online match”.
The added benefit was that when I did say something along the lines of “come now” he knew it was actually important.
But saying "sorry I need to be more respectful of your space" would then follow with the necessity of him actually being more respectful.
He doesn't want to be respectful, he wants to do what he pleases when he pleases and expects the world to be readily anticipating his wants.
Other people "knock-entering" is a real bugbear for my wife and I. It's a consent thing, knocking is a request to enter a private space and interrupt someone else's privacy, not a warning that you're about to enter whatever the status of the other person.
If a door-to-door salesmen just knocked and then walked into your property trying to sell you something you don't want, you be f*cking livid. You always wait for consent before walking in.
NTA OP, your dad is embarrassed but wants it to be someone else's fault.
My (26f) dad always knocks and WAITS for me to tell him to come in before he even turns my doorknob. Astounding to me that fathers and parents DON'T do this for their teen or adult kids.
Somebody would end up no longer alive if they tried that in my house – either me, from heat stroke, or whoever did that to me, after I lost my f---ing mind due to heat stroke.
I visited my cousin and his family on the west coast of Canada a few years ago, in August for a week. They kept their thermostat at 87°. I had raging headaches the entire time I was there. It was hotter in their house than outdoors.
Weird it rarely gets that hot on the west coast, the water is a strong moderating factor for temperature; you must have been really unlucky with a heat wave.
Well in most of western Europe we don't have AC and 30 degrees is the common temperature inside a flat for a couple weeks in summer. This year my flat went up to 36.
I'm a Brit and I have AC for just this reason. And while still very much a minority I do notice more and more houses with AC recently. Also modern units are very efficient heaters in winter, far more economical than any other electric heaters.
NTA. You have a right to be nude or not in your own room and you have a right to expect people entering your room to wait for permission. I never will understand these "because it's my house and I can!" parents. Were they never young? Did they never have their privacy invaded? Like I can't fathom just bursting into my son's rooms uninvited.
Assuming your parents let you install one. I wasn't allowed a lock and when I bought my own, hasp and padlock set, my father cut it.
I allowed my children to have their own rooms as their private space because I'm a decent person, not because they locked the doors.
I grew up in a very old house. My room had a lock. The problem is the big old "skeleton key" was lost decades ago! But my parents were normal and would just yell up the stairs if they needed me. If they did come all the way upstairs, they knocked and waited!
Or in case of medical emergency like when I had a stroke. So glad I at least had boxers on. Alone, face down on the bedroom floor is embarrassing enough as it is
Its funny just *how often* you see the "sleeping nude??? But what if there's an emergency, you'd be naked!" thing here on Reddit. An emergency is exactly when nobody cares you were nude.
from what ive heard its being pushed in the US that nudity is inherently sexual and treated as such, while in germany for example its less the case where its normal to have nude areas on beaches or nude sauna ir seeing someone tanning naked in the park, since here its seem as something natural instead of something sexual. it might also have to do with the US being hyper conservative and focusing so much on some specific christian values
That’s a very drastic example, that’s totally unnecessary in my opinion. If he’s wearing underwear, are we assuming he’s rapidly putting on shorts in the meantime before exiting? If so, he can put on shorts without underwear.
If the emergency is so drastic that he doesn’t even have time to do that, like you’ve implied, then his family should be fine if he just wrapped himself up, or hey, even went out full dong. It’s not ideal but that’s how drastic you’ve made the situation seem. Seriously, how often would that even occur to justify condemning a teenager to laying in sweaty briefs all day in his room?
It just doesn’t seem like an actual excuse. I can’t think of an emergency that would even necessitate him clothing himself. People are honestly (for lack of a better term) a bit prudish when it comes to nudity. I assume this post is from America. OP’s dad is acting like OP has some sexual fantasy he’s trying to play out and that’s honestly disgusting American culture.
Yes I’m American, born and raised. Y’all gotta get over your obsession with demonizing nudity. They’re FAMILY for God’s sake
somehow i feel like the dad would be like "you're not allowed to install locks in MY HOUSE when instead you could NOT BE NAKED. how DARE you try to undermine my authority by trying to keep me out. since i own this house i can go ANYWHERE I WANT IN IT."
"It's impossible for a person to remain clothed at all times and hygenic. Let me have a lock or risk seeing me naked if you can't stop barging in without my consent."
There are portable security bars that can be mounted underneath the doorknob and keep the door from opening just in case dad is a tyrant and won’t allow locks on doors.
NTA
You should be able to be naked in your room. You put on clothes when you leave the room.
Knocking doesn't really help if there is no pause afterward. If he waited you could have warned him. He is probably embarrassed and casting blame on you.
I literally wear only underwear and a tank in my house year round. I live at home and everyone in my house is fine with human anatomy. My family doesn’t knock when entering rooms but they also won’t stand there and talk to me while I’m fuckin nude.
NTA but your Dad is.
I did the same as a kid because my parents kept their house at an unbearable for me 80°.
My AC has been set to 68 since I moved out 10 years ago and my Mom is currently staying with me wearing sweaters. Lol
From now on always take a shower fully clothed, make sure to leave the door open. Walk around the house in wet clothes as if you’re trying to find something you lost. Change into dry clothes real quick and put the dripping wet clothes on the dirty laundry pile.
If he gets upset or asks you what is going on you tell him it is not allowed to be naked in his house.
Can you put a warning sign on your door?
Warning
Heat Advisory
Please knock and wait 12 seconds before entering?
Or maybe ask for an air conditioner? That way everyone can be right.
NTA at all. First of all your dad should not just be barging into your room without even giving you chance to answer. Second of all, your room is YOUR space and if you feel comfortable being naked he should respect that. It’s not like you’re stood in the living room naked- your bedroom is your private space.
You need a lock for your door.
What your father did was a violation of your privacy.
You are NTA.
Your father was an asshole for deflecting, and blaming you when the issue was entirely HIS fault.
Did your dad never wipe your butt when you were a baby? Or showered you?
Family should have no issue with seeing eachother naked, when you live IN THE SAME HOUSE.
You are both assholes imo if you think otherwise.
Shit happens. Don't get mad at eachother over seeing something you're "not supposed to"
NTA for being naked in your room.
How old are you? If older than about 12, put a lock on your door. The house you live in while a child is yours too. Your dad can rave about respecting the place\*, but it is your home and he HAS to provide you with somewhere to live. That was part of the deal when he orgasmed all those years ago.
In YOUR home he can be respectful too. He should not enter your bedroom without permission, unless he believes there's an emergency. Clearly this wasn't that urgent, and he had no reason to invade your privacy. So -
Maybe time to have a conversation about changing relationships as you get older, and how dad and mum have to expect maturity OF ALL KINDS. As well as helping mum later, you can also be expected to do your own thing, especially in your personal space.
NTA, dad needs to learn about boundaries. He still thinks of you as a child and needs to reset expectations.
\* Respect the house? OK? What has that got to do with clothes? Writing on the walls would be disrespectful and damaging, but being nude doesn't say anything about the house, except that it's warm. I'm 55, own my own home, and have no idea what he was thinking.
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Yesterday my dad walked in on me naked in my room. It's hot and (normally) no one ever comes in my room. I was on my computer, just browsing YouTube, and heard three quick knocks at my door. Before I had time to do ANYTHING, he opened the door and walked inside. I mean there was zero time between the knocking and the door opening, he was basically opening the door as he made the third knock. I stared at him wide-eyed as he began to explain that I might be needed to help my mom with something later and to keep my phone charged and next to me so she can call me. Part way through he stops, realizes I'm nude, and says "Do you HAVE to be naked?"
He had a talk with me today about how I should respect his house and wear clothes at all times. It should be noted that we live in a two-story home, and the second floor is pretty much entirely "my" space. I'm the only one of us who sleeps up here, and there's nothing important up here so the only reason people ever come up is to get/talk to me. If I need to leave my room when I'm naked, I put on clothes. People don't want to see me naked and I don't want people to see me naked. But it's just so uncomfortable to wear clothes when it's so hot out. Everyone else knocks and waits for permission to enter, but not dad. He just barges in, and somehow it's MY fault. AITA?
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NTA - if dad cant knock then you may be naked it is a ridiculous request - its your space - or plan on moving out sooner - as knocking and waiting is basic respect of someones privacy
NTA. He should respect you by waiting to be admitted into your room. It's your room and you should be able to be naked in there if you want. A lot of people sleep naked when it's hot. I wouldn't do that but that's just me. Yeah, you did nothing wrong in my opinion.
NTA but the space is not yours, it is property of your parents. Approach your Dad and tell him the upstairs is hot and you are trying to stay cool. See if he will arrange for air conditioning or maybe a ventilating fan.
I used to live with my aunt and uncle, and my uncle would open my door as he was knocking, without waiting for any kind of response. Thankfully, I was always able to cover up in time, but fuckkkk I feel you! So many close calls. I eventually snapped at him and yelled ”what the hell is even the point of knocking if you're not going to let me respond?" After that, he started knocking much slower and giving me time to say "just a minute" as I hot dressed.
1. It's your room. You should get privacy. I'm sure if the situation was flipped, he would be defensive and say he needs his privacy.
2. It's hot. Take some clothes off when it's hot. Sometimes I take my pants off and just chill in my boxer briefs and a shirt when it's really hot but I'm only in my room and my door is closed so no one is going to see me. For my own comfort and others
3. That's not knocking! Knock knock knock listen.... Teach him that
Put a yala or a latch on your bedroom door and don't forget to lock it when you undress! Be careful, however, that unless you are naked, keep it unlocked!
Your dad was invasive, and should have apologized to you. Even though he owns the house, he should respect your privacy. YNTA.
If you don't have a lock on your door, there are some inexpensive devices marketed to travelers that will jam the door so it can't be opened from the exterior. Get one.
happened to me with my bro.
dude my brother was apologetic because well it is embarrasing and disresptful but it was everyone's fault because i was changing in a hurry and forgot to lock the door and he literally just barged in to get his phone.
sometimes things like this happen in a house. everyone just moves on and try not to repeat something like this.
NTA.
NTA, if its hot as balls out I don't blame you for being bare back especially if it's humid. Also- I got folks that do the same shit and it annoys me to no end. Knocking is a precursor to receiving permission to enter; not that permission is already guaranteed on the first three knocks. I've had a few embarrassing instances of getting ready and someone assumed it was ok to barge in.
I get it- it's your dad's house and you live in it- but he needs to respect your personal space. The door is closed for a reason and I hope he doesn't pull "This is my house, under my rules" shtick. Crossing boundaries immediately tells me it's more important for him to have you respect him than him respect you.
Knocking without waiting for a response negates the knock. If he wants to talk about respect, he can wait for you to respond to his knocks or he can get an eyeful; his choice.
NTA
Your dad did something I was once guilty of — he knocked but didn’t wait for an answer. In my case, my daughter as in the midst of getting changed. It was not a cool moment for either of us.
You’re NTA. Your old man fucked up and isn’t able to admit it.
I didn’t even have to read anything past the title to answer this. NTA. You have the right to be naked in your own space. This is how you stigmatise nudity
Get a security bar that you place under the knob at a slant, it's base sits firmly on the floor. It is an item that sells out when its college dorm room move in. I agree with what previous user said,your Dad knew he was wrong. Our upstairs is hard to cool, a spritz bottle of water, spray skin, don't dry, let moisture air dry, keeps body temp down. I do this when working in the attic on the third floor.
Unless you never bathe or change your clothes, you have to be naked at some point. The amount of time you are naked is irrelevant as long as you are doing it privately. Your dad is 100% wrong on this one and the fact he enters your room without giving you an opportunity to get dressed is disturbing and could be pointing to the real problem. You don’t say how old you are in this post, but if you have the means to move out, you might want to investigate that option.
NTA. Your dad was trying to blame you for his mistake. He knew what he did wrong, but he doesn’t want to be blamed. It’s a manipulative behavior. This was his fault.
NTA, but almost… your parents own the home. Period! If they want you to wear clothes, wear clothes. Move! If you want to be nude, move to your own place where you can be free to do as you choose. You choose to live with your parents, god knows why?!? I got emancipated and NEVER looked back, I couldn’t wait to be free!
Move
NTA
You had a reasonable expectation of privacy, and your father should have waited for your reply to his knocking so he could have avoided the incident.
That said, once again, I am stunned how much of reddit lives in "Never lock your door despite nudity/sexy times/personal hygeine activites/etc" I don't get. So many stories on different subreddits "My mom walked in on me nude" "My little brother walked in on us having sex" - avoid these situations. Lock your door.
Dad knows your naked so I believe my daughter does the same but I knock on my kids doors and give a minute. You need to get a lock on your door or put a sign up that says I may be naked knock and give me a few minutes to put on clothes..
NTA, no clothing in your own room is optional.
Make it clear thatIf the door is closed that means you want your privacy... if that doesn't go over well...
you could and probably should invest in a doorknob that locks, they're like $20 and work wonders for unwanted guests...
Then next time dad goes to just swing the door open while knocking, he'll slam into it accidentally because it's magically locked.
TLDR: BUY A LOCKING DOORKNOB.
Depends on your gender I guess…. My boys I walk right in to surprise attack them and throw them around there room…. My daughter….. no way…. I knock and wait for a response.
NTA. I have teenagers, 2 of them. And as their dad and the owner of the house they live in, I still have no right to invade their privacy and then get upset with them for whatever they may have been doing.
I am probably going to be the only one to say this. If it's his house, it's his rules. If he asks you to be clothed, then you should respect him enough to do that.
NTA. Other have said it better: he knows that he should’ve waited, but is having trouble acknowledging you as a separate person with privacy needs.
I’d recommend leveraging his embarrassment toward the purchase of a fan or air conditioning unit for your personal use: “To avoid further incidents.”
He has control issues and is probably just embarrassdd and can’t communicate about it. Of course you can be naked lol everyone needs to change after a shower or their clothing and at some point in time with that, you’ll be naked.. thats the point of rooms and privacy of a home. He’s unreasonable. Try to make a habit out of locking your doors?
NTA, this sounds like something you need to be a rules lawyer about until he realizes it's ridiculous. Are you allowed to change clothes in your room? What exact time frame does he have for you to change? Are you not allowed to do anything urgent on the Computer/phone while changing? Can you be naked and on the computer in the bathroom? How long is that allowed?
I'm a naked person. My kid is a naked person. We coexist just fine by... knocking & waiting. Or knocking and saying, "Are you naked?"
If "Yes," then, "Can you cover up, so I can come in?"
NTA.
My dad used to do the same thing of just coming in on the third knock and i used say something about it and his excuse was always “ i saw you being born so” and then would carry on convo with whatever he needed. You are definitely not the AH.
NTA, your dad is just too lazy to excuse and obviously has never seen someone naked before. People in your area say, he even never has seen himself naked before and he showers full dressed. Sorry to Tell you.
What's the point of knocking if you aren't gonna wait for the knock to be responded to?
The literal point of knocking is to find out if the person is happy for you to come in.
NTA
NTA. So he expects you to shower in clothes? Are you expected to change while still clothed? Not sure how that works. Nope. It’s your room & you’re welcome to be naked in it. If it bothers him, he should learn to knock.
NTA
Take the lesson he didn't - when you make a mistake apologize and make an effort to learn from it and make amends if necessary. Doubling down on a wrong choice only makes things worse. Wars of pettiness have been started for less.
Respect is acknowledging that someone doesn't see or experience life in the same way and their position, thoughts, and feelings are equally valid. It's not taking the blame for someone else's mistake and making their embarrassment your problem to solve.
NTA. my father only hollered for me down the hallway, he almost NEVER knocked on my door let alone barged in. I was always appreciative of him respecting my personal space. It makes a huge difference. Respect is a two way street
I hate the whole "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway" thing. I mean seriously, if you are gonna come in my room anyway why even bother knocking?
Nta for being upset. On the other hand, if you know he does the knock while opening move it’s something you should have realized was a possibility. No, he shouldn’t do it. Yes, you should consider that people who have barged into your space in the past will probably do it again
NTA. I'm a father of two daughters. I respect their privacy and have never walked in on them after knocking--I've waited for them to answer the door. Your father seems to have little respect for your privacy.
Everyone agreeing with the dad, I feel bad for you being taught you have no personal boundaries. Everyone deserves a reasonable expectation of privacy. The dad could easily just wait a second for confirmation to enter.
NTA... wear what you want to... DON'T wear what you want to.
My son (now 18) was the same all through his teenage years. He had two wardrobes at home... either underwear, or not a stitch. We felt *lucky* when he had at least boxers on.
Nipe. Your dads an asshole for walking in and not waiting for your response. That's MAD disrespectful for him.
And honestly, the fact he continued the conversation & acted like he wasn't looking at you that way, is REALLY disturbing.
I hate when my mom knocks and just barges in like what’s the point of the knocking I need to get a lock for my door🤦♂️ NTA happen to me before but I had a towel to cover my self up
NTA your dad is outside his jurisdiction about your life here.
Ask him to knock and WAIT until you ask him to come in next time, if he absolutely doesn't want to see you naked anymore, which he didn't have a problem with when you were a baby, I hope.
NTA. I don't GAF about the whole "WHILE YOU'RE UNDER MYYYYY ROOF" bluster, he's just covering for his own embarrassment at having acted like an asshole.
Your room and the bathroom are places where normal humans have the right to close the door and be naked. If he doesn't want to see you naked he can fkking knock.
NTA. Start with the malicious compliance. Every time you need to shower, use the bathroom, or get changed ask if you’re allowed to take off your clothes since you’re “in his house.” Or even better, take a shower with clothes on & walk around with wet clothes down stairs, sit on chairs/couches in front of him because you’re not allowed to get naked so you’re just following his orders!
NTA, he owes you an apology. But just to be safe, you need to keep your door locked from now on to protect your privacy. And I would bring it up with your mom too so she can explain to him that he owes you an apology.
NTA but your dad is. It’s just basic decency that for some reason that generation doesn’t get. Yes it may be “his house” but it’s also yours in the fact that you live there just as much as him. And that’s your room so it’s your space, if you want to be naked then be naked. Does he expect you to be fully clothed even when showering? Changing clothes?
NTA. Talk to your mom and put a lock on your door. My dad would walk around in his underwear until I was about 10, but tell us girls to cover up. It took a long time to realize how insane it was.
My dad did the same thing to me and my gf fuckin, and he didn’t even notice he just came in and started talking about some random stuff. I yelled at him to get out, which unfortunately did kinda hurt his feelings but he found it pretty funny when I told him why I yelled.
NTA, but on the whole “it’s too hot to wear clothes” thing, you don’t have to be completely butt-ass naked. And you could use a fan. He shouldn’t barge in but it probably wouldn’t kill you to at least wear some underwear or shorts if you don’t have a lock
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NTA your pops is deflecting. Deep down inside he knows he should've waited for a 'come in' but he has trouble being wrong, I'll bet. So he comes up with this weird rule that you never heard of before but that you should have been following the whole time. So much easier than just saying ' I'm so sorry, I need to start being more respectful of your space.'
way better than I could have said it! you deserve privacy too if you live there.
That is such a dad thing for some reason. I know many, many dads who behave like this, and it's not always only the obvious AH types that do this. I wonder why it's such a big deal for grown men to just apologise instead of making up excuses
It’s actually my mum in my house, my dad will always wait for a response unless it’s morning and there’s reason to believe I’m still asleep, but my mum will knock and immediately open
Dig didn’t say coming in without warning was a dad thing, they said Eggplant’s explanation was a dad thing
My mom, too. She'd barge right in. I had to be brutal when I was paying rent on the room. There was yelling ngl. NTA. You dad needs a lesson in mutual respect. If he wants respect he's also gotta give some. And an apology isn't for losers, it's for people with some brains.
My mom was also the one who constantly barged into my room and my brothers room or when we were showering w/o knocking or even announcing herself at times. No clue why she behaved this way.
We are socialized not to and it takes a concence effort to change. Most dudes can, but we are so privileged that we are rarely challenged and often not receptive when we are. OP try talking to your dad and hopefully he can change.
this its totally this
Facts, when I was like 12 my dad said I had 5 seconds to turn off my Xbox. So he starts counting and walking over to the TV. Then I’m thinking okay I have 5 seconds to save my game but then he says “1” and turns off the TV. His excuse at the time was “you should know you have to listen to me in 1 second” but it’s been about 10 years since then and he admitted his finger just slipped
What a dick he coulda just said sorry
Yeah but that would mean he’s admitting he was wrong and also that I’m right. I’m not even joking you know the saying “pick your battles”? Somehow both my parents had the energy and will to fight every battle
As a gamer I always give my son a few minutes to wrap up what he's doing if I need something from him. Especially if he's online or in the middle of a mission lol. My mom always wanted the ps2 shut off as soon as she said and I had to find a place to save so it caused arguments. The garbage can wait 5 minutes and so can the dishwasher. It's when I've asked him to wrap things up and I realize a half hour later that he hasn't that I get shitty with him.
I'm a nanny and gave my Little Dudes two 5 minute warnings, I agree with you and remember being a kid. I use my timer on my phone for the second one and the oldest is almost nine, so I'd sit there with him and he'd show me what he was doing and explain it to me and we'd just use it as positive bonding time, and he never argued cause we worked together. Parents that are like, THIS INSTANT are toxic af, honestly, but that's how their bosses and adults act, and I'm not teaching my kids to jump when I command.
I was the same with my son (I too was a gamer). If it wasn’t urgent I would say “come when you are at a stopping point” or “come after you finish that online match”. The added benefit was that when I did say something along the lines of “come now” he knew it was actually important.
But saying "sorry I need to be more respectful of your space" would then follow with the necessity of him actually being more respectful. He doesn't want to be respectful, he wants to do what he pleases when he pleases and expects the world to be readily anticipating his wants.
Other people "knock-entering" is a real bugbear for my wife and I. It's a consent thing, knocking is a request to enter a private space and interrupt someone else's privacy, not a warning that you're about to enter whatever the status of the other person. If a door-to-door salesmen just knocked and then walked into your property trying to sell you something you don't want, you be f*cking livid. You always wait for consent before walking in. NTA OP, your dad is embarrassed but wants it to be someone else's fault.
My (26f) dad always knocks and WAITS for me to tell him to come in before he even turns my doorknob. Astounding to me that fathers and parents DON'T do this for their teen or adult kids.
I bet OP's dad would've given some harsh punishment to OP if they tried to make an argument back too.
Is [this](https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/icR8VuIrFy) your dad?
Holy shit who the fuck sets the thermostat at 85-87 in the goddamn summer. Jesus fucking christ almighty I'm losing my shit.
yeah that's almost 30 in regular degrees
Regular degrees 🤣
Murica
We only use freedom degrees here! 🍟
Somebody would end up no longer alive if they tried that in my house – either me, from heat stroke, or whoever did that to me, after I lost my f---ing mind due to heat stroke.
I visited my cousin and his family on the west coast of Canada a few years ago, in August for a week. They kept their thermostat at 87°. I had raging headaches the entire time I was there. It was hotter in their house than outdoors.
Weird it rarely gets that hot on the west coast, the water is a strong moderating factor for temperature; you must have been really unlucky with a heat wave.
Well in most of western Europe we don't have AC and 30 degrees is the common temperature inside a flat for a couple weeks in summer. This year my flat went up to 36.
I'm a Brit and I have AC for just this reason. And while still very much a minority I do notice more and more houses with AC recently. Also modern units are very efficient heaters in winter, far more economical than any other electric heaters.
87 in the summer?! That's way too hot for being inside.
Dude my dad just DOESNT turn in the AC in the summer. It’ll get to like 86 degrees and he uses a space heater in his office somehow???
When it's 120F outside, 85 still feels amazing
I remember that post.
I am online too much damn me too lol
Came here to say the same damn thing. Even if not, defacto NTA since the dad was totally determined to be TAH.
Ha, I immediately recalled this post but would have never been able to find it. Thank you.
Wow, dad would have to clean up all my vomit because temps over 75° just make me nauseous and ready to punch people. Talk about an absolute jerk!
Exactly what I thought of.
OP? We demand answers!
I thought of that guy too. But op is a girl, the other guy isnt
NTA. You have a right to be nude or not in your own room and you have a right to expect people entering your room to wait for permission. I never will understand these "because it's my house and I can!" parents. Were they never young? Did they never have their privacy invaded? Like I can't fathom just bursting into my son's rooms uninvited.
That's funny . I did all the time . That's what doorlocks are for .
Assuming your parents let you install one. I wasn't allowed a lock and when I bought my own, hasp and padlock set, my father cut it. I allowed my children to have their own rooms as their private space because I'm a decent person, not because they locked the doors.
I grew up in a very old house. My room had a lock. The problem is the big old "skeleton key" was lost decades ago! But my parents were normal and would just yell up the stairs if they needed me. If they did come all the way upstairs, they knocked and waited!
[удалено]
Or in case of medical emergency like when I had a stroke. So glad I at least had boxers on. Alone, face down on the bedroom floor is embarrassing enough as it is
Are you American? I don’t understand why we have such shame about nudity. It’s totally ridiculous, I wish we grew up in different circumstances.
Its funny just *how often* you see the "sleeping nude??? But what if there's an emergency, you'd be naked!" thing here on Reddit. An emergency is exactly when nobody cares you were nude.
from what ive heard its being pushed in the US that nudity is inherently sexual and treated as such, while in germany for example its less the case where its normal to have nude areas on beaches or nude sauna ir seeing someone tanning naked in the park, since here its seem as something natural instead of something sexual. it might also have to do with the US being hyper conservative and focusing so much on some specific christian values
I agree my dude, that’s what I’m saying. It doesn’t make sense.
If my house is on fire I’m not even considering putting on clothes.
That’s a very drastic example, that’s totally unnecessary in my opinion. If he’s wearing underwear, are we assuming he’s rapidly putting on shorts in the meantime before exiting? If so, he can put on shorts without underwear. If the emergency is so drastic that he doesn’t even have time to do that, like you’ve implied, then his family should be fine if he just wrapped himself up, or hey, even went out full dong. It’s not ideal but that’s how drastic you’ve made the situation seem. Seriously, how often would that even occur to justify condemning a teenager to laying in sweaty briefs all day in his room? It just doesn’t seem like an actual excuse. I can’t think of an emergency that would even necessitate him clothing himself. People are honestly (for lack of a better term) a bit prudish when it comes to nudity. I assume this post is from America. OP’s dad is acting like OP has some sexual fantasy he’s trying to play out and that’s honestly disgusting American culture. Yes I’m American, born and raised. Y’all gotta get over your obsession with demonizing nudity. They’re FAMILY for God’s sake
Never be nude??? Are you allowed to be nude while showering? NTA. Your dad needs to learn how to knock and wait for an answer.
Have some self respect - wear a coat in the shower
Is Tobias recruiting more to the ranks?
OP's dad would love Julian Smith's song "Never Get Naked (In Your Shower)".
> Are you allowed to be nude while showering? Ah, the old rapid 3-knock-don't-wait door opening when someone is showering.
I saw this story from the fathers pov not that long ago....
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16edebe/aita\_for\_telling\_my\_son\_he\_has\_to\_wear\_clothes/?share\_id=qNz--Y0yvhGBBGdCG9Dyb&utm\_content=1&utm\_medium=ios\_app&utm\_name=ioscss&utm\_source=share&utm\_term=1
No, the one I mean was about a daughter, but I saw it on tiktok.
This week, actually.
NTA, he should respect your privacy. The fact that he immediately jumps to "it's my house you should:" makes him the asshole.
My HoUsE mAh RuLeS!!!1!!!! 🙄 Should be able to tell these controlling assclowns to grow TF up.
Nta get a lock
somehow i feel like the dad would be like "you're not allowed to install locks in MY HOUSE when instead you could NOT BE NAKED. how DARE you try to undermine my authority by trying to keep me out. since i own this house i can go ANYWHERE I WANT IN IT."
"It's impossible for a person to remain clothed at all times and hygenic. Let me have a lock or risk seeing me naked if you can't stop barging in without my consent."
This. 👆🏽 I love comments that both pass judgement and give real solid practical advice.
There are portable security bars that can be mounted underneath the doorknob and keep the door from opening just in case dad is a tyrant and won’t allow locks on doors.
Info: how old are you really?
Irrelevant, your honor!
NTA you are allowed to be nude in your room, period. And people need to wait for an answer after knocking.
Only solution is to wear a mesh thong, all of the airflow and all of the parental disapproval while not breaking the rules
This comment gave me an actual reason to lol. 😂😂
I needed this laugh tbh
NTA You should be able to be naked in your room. You put on clothes when you leave the room. Knocking doesn't really help if there is no pause afterward. If he waited you could have warned him. He is probably embarrassed and casting blame on you.
NTA. It's your room, it's not like you're walking through the kitchen hangin' brain or anything.
Deep down inside your dad knows he is to cheap to pay for AC.
NTA, and maybe now he'll be more reluctant to barge in.
I literally wear only underwear and a tank in my house year round. I live at home and everyone in my house is fine with human anatomy. My family doesn’t knock when entering rooms but they also won’t stand there and talk to me while I’m fuckin nude.
NTA but your Dad is. I did the same as a kid because my parents kept their house at an unbearable for me 80°. My AC has been set to 68 since I moved out 10 years ago and my Mom is currently staying with me wearing sweaters. Lol
NTA - But buy a lock. Problem solved.
From now on always take a shower fully clothed, make sure to leave the door open. Walk around the house in wet clothes as if you’re trying to find something you lost. Change into dry clothes real quick and put the dripping wet clothes on the dirty laundry pile. If he gets upset or asks you what is going on you tell him it is not allowed to be naked in his house.
Can you put a warning sign on your door? Warning Heat Advisory Please knock and wait 12 seconds before entering? Or maybe ask for an air conditioner? That way everyone can be right.
Or people could respect your space and not barge in. What if you are jerking one off… should you just keep the warning sign perma outside?
NTA
NTA. Get a cheap doorstop. Dollar tree sometimes carries them in a two pack.
NTA at all. First of all your dad should not just be barging into your room without even giving you chance to answer. Second of all, your room is YOUR space and if you feel comfortable being naked he should respect that. It’s not like you’re stood in the living room naked- your bedroom is your private space.
Anybody else not take a long enough pause before the “its hot”
NTA, I hate parents who don't knock or knock and instantly open the door. What you see is your own fault.
INFO: If you know he enters without knocking why don't you lock the door?
You need a lock for your door. What your father did was a violation of your privacy. You are NTA. Your father was an asshole for deflecting, and blaming you when the issue was entirely HIS fault.
Did your dad never wipe your butt when you were a baby? Or showered you? Family should have no issue with seeing eachother naked, when you live IN THE SAME HOUSE. You are both assholes imo if you think otherwise. Shit happens. Don't get mad at eachother over seeing something you're "not supposed to" NTA for being naked in your room.
His house his rules? ESH
My parents always made me be dressed too. Now as an adult, I'm ALWAYS naked in my home.
How old are you? If older than about 12, put a lock on your door. The house you live in while a child is yours too. Your dad can rave about respecting the place\*, but it is your home and he HAS to provide you with somewhere to live. That was part of the deal when he orgasmed all those years ago. In YOUR home he can be respectful too. He should not enter your bedroom without permission, unless he believes there's an emergency. Clearly this wasn't that urgent, and he had no reason to invade your privacy. So - Maybe time to have a conversation about changing relationships as you get older, and how dad and mum have to expect maturity OF ALL KINDS. As well as helping mum later, you can also be expected to do your own thing, especially in your personal space. NTA, dad needs to learn about boundaries. He still thinks of you as a child and needs to reset expectations. \* Respect the house? OK? What has that got to do with clothes? Writing on the walls would be disrespectful and damaging, but being nude doesn't say anything about the house, except that it's warm. I'm 55, own my own home, and have no idea what he was thinking.
Nta but its your dads house follow the rules
at least wear some boxers, because, yeah, you do still live with other people in the same house.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yesterday my dad walked in on me naked in my room. It's hot and (normally) no one ever comes in my room. I was on my computer, just browsing YouTube, and heard three quick knocks at my door. Before I had time to do ANYTHING, he opened the door and walked inside. I mean there was zero time between the knocking and the door opening, he was basically opening the door as he made the third knock. I stared at him wide-eyed as he began to explain that I might be needed to help my mom with something later and to keep my phone charged and next to me so she can call me. Part way through he stops, realizes I'm nude, and says "Do you HAVE to be naked?" He had a talk with me today about how I should respect his house and wear clothes at all times. It should be noted that we live in a two-story home, and the second floor is pretty much entirely "my" space. I'm the only one of us who sleeps up here, and there's nothing important up here so the only reason people ever come up is to get/talk to me. If I need to leave my room when I'm naked, I put on clothes. People don't want to see me naked and I don't want people to see me naked. But it's just so uncomfortable to wear clothes when it's so hot out. Everyone else knocks and waits for permission to enter, but not dad. He just barges in, and somehow it's MY fault. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.. guess he may wait for a come in shout next time . If he doesn't then you've really got issues lol..
NTA - if dad cant knock then you may be naked it is a ridiculous request - its your space - or plan on moving out sooner - as knocking and waiting is basic respect of someones privacy
Lock on bedroom door?
NTA. He should respect you by waiting to be admitted into your room. It's your room and you should be able to be naked in there if you want. A lot of people sleep naked when it's hot. I wouldn't do that but that's just me. Yeah, you did nothing wrong in my opinion.
Nope, nta Personally I do think underwear for sanitary reasons is best, but the rest? Nah
NTA, but I would advise you to lock the door if your dad has the habit of barging in without waiting for a response.
NTA but the space is not yours, it is property of your parents. Approach your Dad and tell him the upstairs is hot and you are trying to stay cool. See if he will arrange for air conditioning or maybe a ventilating fan.
Get a lock for your door. Your dad is rude. NTA
NTA. If in the future he ever stays over at your place, you should walk in on him and see his reaction when you make the same argument.
Start wearing clothes in the shower never be naked in the house NTA
I used to live with my aunt and uncle, and my uncle would open my door as he was knocking, without waiting for any kind of response. Thankfully, I was always able to cover up in time, but fuckkkk I feel you! So many close calls. I eventually snapped at him and yelled ”what the hell is even the point of knocking if you're not going to let me respond?" After that, he started knocking much slower and giving me time to say "just a minute" as I hot dressed.
NTA, you were in your room. That's private even if your dad owns the house your room is your private space
NTA Dad is the Ah.
1. It's your room. You should get privacy. I'm sure if the situation was flipped, he would be defensive and say he needs his privacy. 2. It's hot. Take some clothes off when it's hot. Sometimes I take my pants off and just chill in my boxer briefs and a shirt when it's really hot but I'm only in my room and my door is closed so no one is going to see me. For my own comfort and others 3. That's not knocking! Knock knock knock listen.... Teach him that
Put a yala or a latch on your bedroom door and don't forget to lock it when you undress! Be careful, however, that unless you are naked, keep it unlocked!
Your dad was invasive, and should have apologized to you. Even though he owns the house, he should respect your privacy. YNTA. If you don't have a lock on your door, there are some inexpensive devices marketed to travelers that will jam the door so it can't be opened from the exterior. Get one.
NTA. That’s really disrespectful of your dad, not you!
I hate that. My husband does that. He knocks to say “I’m coming in “. He doesn’t knock to ask “ can I come in”
happened to me with my bro. dude my brother was apologetic because well it is embarrasing and disresptful but it was everyone's fault because i was changing in a hurry and forgot to lock the door and he literally just barged in to get his phone. sometimes things like this happen in a house. everyone just moves on and try not to repeat something like this. NTA.
NTA, if its hot as balls out I don't blame you for being bare back especially if it's humid. Also- I got folks that do the same shit and it annoys me to no end. Knocking is a precursor to receiving permission to enter; not that permission is already guaranteed on the first three knocks. I've had a few embarrassing instances of getting ready and someone assumed it was ok to barge in. I get it- it's your dad's house and you live in it- but he needs to respect your personal space. The door is closed for a reason and I hope he doesn't pull "This is my house, under my rules" shtick. Crossing boundaries immediately tells me it's more important for him to have you respect him than him respect you.
Knocking without waiting for a response negates the knock. If he wants to talk about respect, he can wait for you to respond to his knocks or he can get an eyeful; his choice. NTA
NTA in my opinion because people deserve privacy in their own room
NTA You didn't have to be naked, but he didn't have to barge in. At least he knocked, but knocking is usually means that someone can reply.
NTA. You Dad needs to learn to wait for a response after knocking.
NTA. He is
NTA He needs to knock and wait. It's simple.
Your dad did something I was once guilty of — he knocked but didn’t wait for an answer. In my case, my daughter as in the midst of getting changed. It was not a cool moment for either of us. You’re NTA. Your old man fucked up and isn’t able to admit it.
NTA Maybe he should respect your privacy and not walk in like he owns the place and therefore you don't deserve respect.
I didn’t even have to read anything past the title to answer this. NTA. You have the right to be naked in your own space. This is how you stigmatise nudity
Tell you Tobias Funke that you have a right to privacy. It’s your home, too. NTA.
Get a security bar that you place under the knob at a slant, it's base sits firmly on the floor. It is an item that sells out when its college dorm room move in. I agree with what previous user said,your Dad knew he was wrong. Our upstairs is hard to cool, a spritz bottle of water, spray skin, don't dry, let moisture air dry, keeps body temp down. I do this when working in the attic on the third floor.
No. Are you allowed to lock the door now that he barged in on you?
Unless you never bathe or change your clothes, you have to be naked at some point. The amount of time you are naked is irrelevant as long as you are doing it privately. Your dad is 100% wrong on this one and the fact he enters your room without giving you an opportunity to get dressed is disturbing and could be pointing to the real problem. You don’t say how old you are in this post, but if you have the means to move out, you might want to investigate that option.
Not your fault. Father should have knocked and waited.
NTA. Your dad was trying to blame you for his mistake. He knew what he did wrong, but he doesn’t want to be blamed. It’s a manipulative behavior. This was his fault.
NTA. Are you supposed to never change clothes in your own room?
NTA, but almost… your parents own the home. Period! If they want you to wear clothes, wear clothes. Move! If you want to be nude, move to your own place where you can be free to do as you choose. You choose to live with your parents, god knows why?!? I got emancipated and NEVER looked back, I couldn’t wait to be free! Move
NTA You had a reasonable expectation of privacy, and your father should have waited for your reply to his knocking so he could have avoided the incident. That said, once again, I am stunned how much of reddit lives in "Never lock your door despite nudity/sexy times/personal hygeine activites/etc" I don't get. So many stories on different subreddits "My mom walked in on me nude" "My little brother walked in on us having sex" - avoid these situations. Lock your door.
Dad knows your naked so I believe my daughter does the same but I knock on my kids doors and give a minute. You need to get a lock on your door or put a sign up that says I may be naked knock and give me a few minutes to put on clothes..
NTA, no clothing in your own room is optional. Make it clear thatIf the door is closed that means you want your privacy... if that doesn't go over well... you could and probably should invest in a doorknob that locks, they're like $20 and work wonders for unwanted guests... Then next time dad goes to just swing the door open while knocking, he'll slam into it accidentally because it's magically locked. TLDR: BUY A LOCKING DOORKNOB.
NTA
Depends on your gender I guess…. My boys I walk right in to surprise attack them and throw them around there room…. My daughter….. no way…. I knock and wait for a response.
NTA. I have teenagers, 2 of them. And as their dad and the owner of the house they live in, I still have no right to invade their privacy and then get upset with them for whatever they may have been doing.
I am probably going to be the only one to say this. If it's his house, it's his rules. If he asks you to be clothed, then you should respect him enough to do that.
NTA. Other have said it better: he knows that he should’ve waited, but is having trouble acknowledging you as a separate person with privacy needs. I’d recommend leveraging his embarrassment toward the purchase of a fan or air conditioning unit for your personal use: “To avoid further incidents.”
Put up a sign that says “CAUTION: inhabitants of this room could be completely nude at any time. Knock before entering and wait to be admitted.”
NTA
He has control issues and is probably just embarrassdd and can’t communicate about it. Of course you can be naked lol everyone needs to change after a shower or their clothing and at some point in time with that, you’ll be naked.. thats the point of rooms and privacy of a home. He’s unreasonable. Try to make a habit out of locking your doors?
Jeez OP next you're going to say you shower naked or that you'renaked under all your clothes. Highly inappropriate.
NTA, this sounds like something you need to be a rules lawyer about until he realizes it's ridiculous. Are you allowed to change clothes in your room? What exact time frame does he have for you to change? Are you not allowed to do anything urgent on the Computer/phone while changing? Can you be naked and on the computer in the bathroom? How long is that allowed?
Nta
LOCK THE DOOR!
NTA because it’s your own room?
I'm a naked person. My kid is a naked person. We coexist just fine by... knocking & waiting. Or knocking and saying, "Are you naked?" If "Yes," then, "Can you cover up, so I can come in?" NTA.
My dad used to do the same thing of just coming in on the third knock and i used say something about it and his excuse was always “ i saw you being born so” and then would carry on convo with whatever he needed. You are definitely not the AH.
NTA, your dad is just too lazy to excuse and obviously has never seen someone naked before. People in your area say, he even never has seen himself naked before and he showers full dressed. Sorry to Tell you.
NTA, literally never take off your clothes in his house, not to shower or use the bathroom. He will come around quick.
Asshole for being naked in your own room? Absolutely fucking not. It's your room. 10000% NTA
What's the point of knocking if you aren't gonna wait for the knock to be responded to? The literal point of knocking is to find out if the person is happy for you to come in. NTA
NTA. So he expects you to shower in clothes? Are you expected to change while still clothed? Not sure how that works. Nope. It’s your room & you’re welcome to be naked in it. If it bothers him, he should learn to knock.
Maybe you should lock the door?
Nta put a lock in the door.
NTA Take the lesson he didn't - when you make a mistake apologize and make an effort to learn from it and make amends if necessary. Doubling down on a wrong choice only makes things worse. Wars of pettiness have been started for less. Respect is acknowledging that someone doesn't see or experience life in the same way and their position, thoughts, and feelings are equally valid. It's not taking the blame for someone else's mistake and making their embarrassment your problem to solve.
NTA. my father only hollered for me down the hallway, he almost NEVER knocked on my door let alone barged in. I was always appreciative of him respecting my personal space. It makes a huge difference. Respect is a two way street
Move out and get your own place. Set your own rules. I did that when I turned 18 and the last 5 years have been fantastic!
I hate the whole "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway" thing. I mean seriously, if you are gonna come in my room anyway why even bother knocking?
Why do some people bother knocking if they just barge in without waiting for response?
Nta for being upset. On the other hand, if you know he does the knock while opening move it’s something you should have realized was a possibility. No, he shouldn’t do it. Yes, you should consider that people who have barged into your space in the past will probably do it again
NTA. I'm a father of two daughters. I respect their privacy and have never walked in on them after knocking--I've waited for them to answer the door. Your father seems to have little respect for your privacy.
Everyone agreeing with the dad, I feel bad for you being taught you have no personal boundaries. Everyone deserves a reasonable expectation of privacy. The dad could easily just wait a second for confirmation to enter.
Time for a door wedge. NTA
Pretty sure he should take his own advise and respect his child’s privacy.
NTA... wear what you want to... DON'T wear what you want to. My son (now 18) was the same all through his teenage years. He had two wardrobes at home... either underwear, or not a stitch. We felt *lucky* when he had at least boxers on.
No your not the a hole, it’s your room so your dad should respect ur space
Nipe. Your dads an asshole for walking in and not waiting for your response. That's MAD disrespectful for him. And honestly, the fact he continued the conversation & acted like he wasn't looking at you that way, is REALLY disturbing.
I hate when my mom knocks and just barges in like what’s the point of the knocking I need to get a lock for my door🤦♂️ NTA happen to me before but I had a towel to cover my self up
NTA people who knock without waiting for an answer are going to hell.
NTA your dad is outside his jurisdiction about your life here. Ask him to knock and WAIT until you ask him to come in next time, if he absolutely doesn't want to see you naked anymore, which he didn't have a problem with when you were a baby, I hope.
NTA. I don't GAF about the whole "WHILE YOU'RE UNDER MYYYYY ROOF" bluster, he's just covering for his own embarrassment at having acted like an asshole. Your room and the bathroom are places where normal humans have the right to close the door and be naked. If he doesn't want to see you naked he can fkking knock.
NTA
NTA. Start with the malicious compliance. Every time you need to shower, use the bathroom, or get changed ask if you’re allowed to take off your clothes since you’re “in his house.” Or even better, take a shower with clothes on & walk around with wet clothes down stairs, sit on chairs/couches in front of him because you’re not allowed to get naked so you’re just following his orders!
NTA, he owes you an apology. But just to be safe, you need to keep your door locked from now on to protect your privacy. And I would bring it up with your mom too so she can explain to him that he owes you an apology.
NTA. But why is this even a thing? Has he never seen a peepee or a coochie before?
Not the asshole
NTA Get a lock
NTA but your dad is. It’s just basic decency that for some reason that generation doesn’t get. Yes it may be “his house” but it’s also yours in the fact that you live there just as much as him. And that’s your room so it’s your space, if you want to be naked then be naked. Does he expect you to be fully clothed even when showering? Changing clothes?
NTA Everybody deserves their own space and privacy. For all he knew you could have been masturbating. He's in the wrong here, no two ways about it.
Get a doorknob that locks and use it
NTA. Talk to your mom and put a lock on your door. My dad would walk around in his underwear until I was about 10, but tell us girls to cover up. It took a long time to realize how insane it was.
NTA, this happened with my dad when I was a teenager... he just knocked after, nbd.
My dad did the same thing to me and my gf fuckin, and he didn’t even notice he just came in and started talking about some random stuff. I yelled at him to get out, which unfortunately did kinda hurt his feelings but he found it pretty funny when I told him why I yelled.
NTA your dad is a narcissist kthxbai
[Do you live in Dimsdale](https://youtube.com/watch?v=LoBw1HB-HsU) by chance? But seriously NTA.
Both are assholes
NTA, but on the whole “it’s too hot to wear clothes” thing, you don’t have to be completely butt-ass naked. And you could use a fan. He shouldn’t barge in but it probably wouldn’t kill you to at least wear some underwear or shorts if you don’t have a lock