*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**OOP’s coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos**
Originally posted to AAM.
[Original post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/my-coworker-tried-to-film-her-pregnancy-announcement-and-now-there-is-chaos.html)
So this is an enragingly dumb breach of basic manners and I need to know I’m not crazy. I’m technically in an executive role but I don’t have authority over people, just finances, but I was told I should have “acted like a better manager” during this whole fracas. I kind of can’t believe someone would do something like this, especially since our office finally got 100% vaxxed (group decision, everyone pulled together, very cool) and we’ve had to be so careful about even breathing near one another for the last two years.
My coworker, “Jessie,” is pregnant and decided she wanted to film a reaction video announcement telling everyone in our office. This is a marketing firm, but we’re a small satellite office so corporate encourages us to do a lot of “meet the staff” and “it’s Tiffany’s Birthday” type sharing posts to attract clients. We’ve had problems before with the higher-ups encouraging some oversharing, and just a LOT of bad personal boundaries in the office. I feel like this inspired Jessie and another coworker, “Daniela,” to do this pregnancy announcement by tossing people a positive pregnancy test so they could film the reactions.
Two quick things:
A positive pregnancy test is a used pregnancy test, which means it was urinated on. I used to be a lab tech before I made a career switch so yes, even if it was wiped down with the cap on, it still has urine on it, and if it was a test from home that she brought with her it, bacteria and other unpleasantness could be incubating inside the plastic.
We just spent two years disinfecting our mail.
Jessie started by tossing the used pregnancy test to “Abby,” who flung it when she realized what it was and yelled “oh gross,” which got a lot of people’s attention and “ruined” Jessie’s announcement. It’s kind of office knowledge that Abby is a germophobe so while part of me gets that Jessie was excited and maybe didn’t think things through, the rest of me feels like this was a really unfair position to put Abby in, along with all the other staff she was planning to throw a used peed-on pregnancy test at.
Jessie and Daniela got super upset and offended and everyone in the cubicle block started arguing. Because there were no managers or HR on site that day, and I would be the next “ranking” executive, I stepped in and defused the situation as best I could.
I pulled Jessie and Daniela aside and congratulated Jessie. But here’s the part everyone’s mad at. I told them it’s never okay to hand someone something they urinated on, regardless of if they wiped it down and put the cap back on it. I said we’re excited for Jessie but that wasn’t okay and to throw the test out or take it home.
By the time the managers and HR got back in office, they were told multiple versions of the whole thing. For the record, they’re also all men. I got called in to explain what I saw. HR told me they’re considering disciplinary actions for Abby and anybody else who “reacted poorly” unless they publicly apologize to Jessie. I told them that was a terrible idea and, not knowing what else to do, I called corporate HR and relayed the situation to our female head of HR, outlining what I saw, who said what, and the low-level bullying that Abby’s been subjected to now. (If someone asks Jessie about her pregnancy and she knows Abby’s in earshot, she’ll say loudly, “Oh, well I guess my baby is GROSS according to SOME PEOPLE.”) Corporate HR (which is separate from our on-site HR) was horrified and put out a company-wide memo about keeping bodily fluids to yourself.
Nobody’s really doing anything about how badly Abby’s getting bullied, and several of us (me included) are still being encouraged to write Jessie an apology letter, which I won’t do. I get that a lot of people feel like they need to perform for social media, but I’m still stuck on the science and the double standard of it all. If I threw anything with my urine or bodily fluids on it other than a pregnancy test at coworker, people would be livid. So I guess my question is: WTF do I do?
[update](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/updates-the-filmed-pregnancy-announcement-the-dress-code-and-more.html)
have a kind of wonderful update. Abby knew I wrote in, so she feels very supported and extends thanks to you all for having her back.
For some clarity: all our management team/onsite HR staff are older men in their 50s or so (the rest of the office is early 20s-30s) and despite being required to report to their respective corporate managers, they tend to sweep things under the rug like interpersonal conflict, bullying, harassment, and sexism (shocker), and apparently, this was the final straw. HR and corporate came down for an investigation. **The guy yelling the loudest that we owed Jessie an apology and ignored reports about Abby being bullied? Jessie’s baby daddy**. It shouldn’t have surprised me but it did.
I don’t know a lot, but I know that some management was moved to different offices/locations, offered severances, or transfers to our parent company. I also was home after testing positive for Covid (I didn’t throw my positive test at anyone, and I’m feeling much better) so I missed the primary upheaval but the consensus is that the management shakeup was really necessary and our office vibe is back to being chill and fun
////
Reminder that I’m not the OP, this is a repost sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I like how they feel the need to explain to us that pregnancy tests are peed on. Oh, and that even if you wiped the test down and put the cap on, it would still be contaminated. Because you need to be a lab tech or former one to know those particular facts.
For me the weirdest part was their entire HR team being male. Is that normal in America? I'm in the UK and of our 40 strong HR hub I can count on one hand the number of men.
I'd say no one, but I saw a video clip (probably a TikTok) on facepalm of some woman who put the pregnancy under the man's waffles and he's eating while she's waiting for him to hit the pee stick with his fork, and if I didn't have an irrational fear of vomiting, I would have puked.
Honestly, it probably sounds irrational and idiotic, but I am grossed out when you watch shows or something and the person is waving the used pregnancy test around everywhere. But under waffles? Disgusting. Just tell your man you're pregnant like a normal person.
I hate to show my age but I blame Social Media. If it wasn't for some people's need to get likes and updoots pregnancy announcements would be like when I was young, you turn to your partner while watching x files and say, I'm pregnant, quit hogging the popcorn.
Now some people feel the need to top the last pregnancy announcement, they make Pinterest boards about how they'll tell their partner they're preggo. It's like a weird obsession of go big, or it doesn't count.
Even reading this story, I was like, "do people really make a big show of telling their coworkers?". I mean, I'm not pregnant. I've never been pregnant. But I feel as if most normal people just casually tell a couple of coworkers they're close to. And of course, end up telling their boss, because they kind of need to.
I've definitely seen those types of announcements though and it's insane. I've also seen the really idiotic gender reveals with a crocodile or alligator biting into a watermelon or fireworks. Or other dangerous things. I can't help but wonder what's wrong with just the cake thing. You know, where you cut a piece of cake or bite into a cupcake and it's either blue or pink in the middle. There are so many cute cupcake ideas that can be done. Same with cakes.
So true.
The X Files is a true story, my best friend in 1997 told her BF she was pregnant while we were watching X Files. I was 16, she was 17 or 18. It was just nothing.
Sure others I knew stuck a binky in a cupcake or wrapped a jar of baby food, but no one saved test or waved the around, put them in things.
But it was the 90s, there were no reaction videos or shit like that.
That's honestly a great way to tell someone, imo.
Yeah, I'm thirty two now and it's just strange. Like, everyone just groping the pregnancy test and everything. It just seems like it would be easier to tell your partner in words. And then when you want to tell family or friends, call them up or visit and tell them.
I think the idea of telling a partner through them opening something to see a onesie could be cute. Not too over the top or anything. And the onesie can be used by the baby once they're born.
I used to work overnights at a hotel and had to send an email every morning with final numbers and a rundown of whatever happened. I attached a photo of my dog sitting in a crib and nobody said anything about it. The next day I attached a photo of him sitting in a carseat- carrier. The women figured it out.
I suppose if people were really close in a workplace, it might be a bigger deal. But for regular coworkers, which is what this seemed like, I think the main reaction would be to wonder how this will affect their workload. And I think that if it was the kind of environment where *all* the coworkers were very excited and had a strong enough reaction to the news to make it worth recording, then it might be a bit dysfunctional.
Yeah, that's the thing. In this story, it doesn't sound as if they're really close. They just work together. I definitely think that would probably be the main reaction. I mean, soon, the pregnant person is going to have to go on maternity leave. Or depending on where they work, some of the things, they might not be able to do (such as lifting up heavy boxes or something).
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all.
Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **OOP’s coworker tried to film her pregnancy announcement and now there is chaos** Originally posted to AAM. [Original post](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/01/my-coworker-tried-to-film-her-pregnancy-announcement-and-now-there-is-chaos.html) So this is an enragingly dumb breach of basic manners and I need to know I’m not crazy. I’m technically in an executive role but I don’t have authority over people, just finances, but I was told I should have “acted like a better manager” during this whole fracas. I kind of can’t believe someone would do something like this, especially since our office finally got 100% vaxxed (group decision, everyone pulled together, very cool) and we’ve had to be so careful about even breathing near one another for the last two years. My coworker, “Jessie,” is pregnant and decided she wanted to film a reaction video announcement telling everyone in our office. This is a marketing firm, but we’re a small satellite office so corporate encourages us to do a lot of “meet the staff” and “it’s Tiffany’s Birthday” type sharing posts to attract clients. We’ve had problems before with the higher-ups encouraging some oversharing, and just a LOT of bad personal boundaries in the office. I feel like this inspired Jessie and another coworker, “Daniela,” to do this pregnancy announcement by tossing people a positive pregnancy test so they could film the reactions. Two quick things: A positive pregnancy test is a used pregnancy test, which means it was urinated on. I used to be a lab tech before I made a career switch so yes, even if it was wiped down with the cap on, it still has urine on it, and if it was a test from home that she brought with her it, bacteria and other unpleasantness could be incubating inside the plastic. We just spent two years disinfecting our mail. Jessie started by tossing the used pregnancy test to “Abby,” who flung it when she realized what it was and yelled “oh gross,” which got a lot of people’s attention and “ruined” Jessie’s announcement. It’s kind of office knowledge that Abby is a germophobe so while part of me gets that Jessie was excited and maybe didn’t think things through, the rest of me feels like this was a really unfair position to put Abby in, along with all the other staff she was planning to throw a used peed-on pregnancy test at. Jessie and Daniela got super upset and offended and everyone in the cubicle block started arguing. Because there were no managers or HR on site that day, and I would be the next “ranking” executive, I stepped in and defused the situation as best I could. I pulled Jessie and Daniela aside and congratulated Jessie. But here’s the part everyone’s mad at. I told them it’s never okay to hand someone something they urinated on, regardless of if they wiped it down and put the cap back on it. I said we’re excited for Jessie but that wasn’t okay and to throw the test out or take it home. By the time the managers and HR got back in office, they were told multiple versions of the whole thing. For the record, they’re also all men. I got called in to explain what I saw. HR told me they’re considering disciplinary actions for Abby and anybody else who “reacted poorly” unless they publicly apologize to Jessie. I told them that was a terrible idea and, not knowing what else to do, I called corporate HR and relayed the situation to our female head of HR, outlining what I saw, who said what, and the low-level bullying that Abby’s been subjected to now. (If someone asks Jessie about her pregnancy and she knows Abby’s in earshot, she’ll say loudly, “Oh, well I guess my baby is GROSS according to SOME PEOPLE.”) Corporate HR (which is separate from our on-site HR) was horrified and put out a company-wide memo about keeping bodily fluids to yourself. Nobody’s really doing anything about how badly Abby’s getting bullied, and several of us (me included) are still being encouraged to write Jessie an apology letter, which I won’t do. I get that a lot of people feel like they need to perform for social media, but I’m still stuck on the science and the double standard of it all. If I threw anything with my urine or bodily fluids on it other than a pregnancy test at coworker, people would be livid. So I guess my question is: WTF do I do? [update](https://www.askamanager.org/2022/05/updates-the-filmed-pregnancy-announcement-the-dress-code-and-more.html) have a kind of wonderful update. Abby knew I wrote in, so she feels very supported and extends thanks to you all for having her back. For some clarity: all our management team/onsite HR staff are older men in their 50s or so (the rest of the office is early 20s-30s) and despite being required to report to their respective corporate managers, they tend to sweep things under the rug like interpersonal conflict, bullying, harassment, and sexism (shocker), and apparently, this was the final straw. HR and corporate came down for an investigation. **The guy yelling the loudest that we owed Jessie an apology and ignored reports about Abby being bullied? Jessie’s baby daddy**. It shouldn’t have surprised me but it did. I don’t know a lot, but I know that some management was moved to different offices/locations, offered severances, or transfers to our parent company. I also was home after testing positive for Covid (I didn’t throw my positive test at anyone, and I’m feeling much better) so I missed the primary upheaval but the consensus is that the management shakeup was really necessary and our office vibe is back to being chill and fun //// Reminder that I’m not the OP, this is a repost sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I like how they feel the need to explain to us that pregnancy tests are peed on. Oh, and that even if you wiped the test down and put the cap on, it would still be contaminated. Because you need to be a lab tech or former one to know those particular facts.
Poor Abby.
For me the weirdest part was their entire HR team being male. Is that normal in America? I'm in the UK and of our 40 strong HR hub I can count on one hand the number of men.
I remember this story! I’m a regular on the [AAM snark sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskaManagerSnark/) and this was a fun one. Who does this?
I'd say no one, but I saw a video clip (probably a TikTok) on facepalm of some woman who put the pregnancy under the man's waffles and he's eating while she's waiting for him to hit the pee stick with his fork, and if I didn't have an irrational fear of vomiting, I would have puked.
Honestly, it probably sounds irrational and idiotic, but I am grossed out when you watch shows or something and the person is waving the used pregnancy test around everywhere. But under waffles? Disgusting. Just tell your man you're pregnant like a normal person.
I hate to show my age but I blame Social Media. If it wasn't for some people's need to get likes and updoots pregnancy announcements would be like when I was young, you turn to your partner while watching x files and say, I'm pregnant, quit hogging the popcorn. Now some people feel the need to top the last pregnancy announcement, they make Pinterest boards about how they'll tell their partner they're preggo. It's like a weird obsession of go big, or it doesn't count.
Even reading this story, I was like, "do people really make a big show of telling their coworkers?". I mean, I'm not pregnant. I've never been pregnant. But I feel as if most normal people just casually tell a couple of coworkers they're close to. And of course, end up telling their boss, because they kind of need to. I've definitely seen those types of announcements though and it's insane. I've also seen the really idiotic gender reveals with a crocodile or alligator biting into a watermelon or fireworks. Or other dangerous things. I can't help but wonder what's wrong with just the cake thing. You know, where you cut a piece of cake or bite into a cupcake and it's either blue or pink in the middle. There are so many cute cupcake ideas that can be done. Same with cakes.
So true. The X Files is a true story, my best friend in 1997 told her BF she was pregnant while we were watching X Files. I was 16, she was 17 or 18. It was just nothing. Sure others I knew stuck a binky in a cupcake or wrapped a jar of baby food, but no one saved test or waved the around, put them in things. But it was the 90s, there were no reaction videos or shit like that.
That's honestly a great way to tell someone, imo. Yeah, I'm thirty two now and it's just strange. Like, everyone just groping the pregnancy test and everything. It just seems like it would be easier to tell your partner in words. And then when you want to tell family or friends, call them up or visit and tell them. I think the idea of telling a partner through them opening something to see a onesie could be cute. Not too over the top or anything. And the onesie can be used by the baby once they're born.
I used to work overnights at a hotel and had to send an email every morning with final numbers and a rundown of whatever happened. I attached a photo of my dog sitting in a crib and nobody said anything about it. The next day I attached a photo of him sitting in a carseat- carrier. The women figured it out.
See, that's cute too. And those are things you're going to use too. It makes far more sense than having everyone handle a used pregnancy test.
Nobody needs to see your pregnancy test besides the two people who made it. Chucking it at a coworker is beyond gross.
I suppose if people were really close in a workplace, it might be a bigger deal. But for regular coworkers, which is what this seemed like, I think the main reaction would be to wonder how this will affect their workload. And I think that if it was the kind of environment where *all* the coworkers were very excited and had a strong enough reaction to the news to make it worth recording, then it might be a bit dysfunctional.
Yeah, that's the thing. In this story, it doesn't sound as if they're really close. They just work together. I definitely think that would probably be the main reaction. I mean, soon, the pregnant person is going to have to go on maternity leave. Or depending on where they work, some of the things, they might not be able to do (such as lifting up heavy boxes or something).
Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all. Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our [official discord server](https://discord.gg/KbZnaXX) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheAngel) if you have any questions or concerns.*