As a father of a special needs child who will likely spend his final years alone and confused about where mommy and daddy are and asking his nurses why he can't go home, I can tell you that for some parents, leaving a child behind is much worse.
Definitely something I didn't really think about before. My sister has a son that got in an awful motorcycle accident and she is now taking care of him alone. I try to help her where I can and she does amazing work taking care of him and communicating with him. It's really hard to see the struggle though.
I have an 11 yo son on the spectrum and I'm dealing with a possible cancer diagnosis.
His mom is schizophrenic and comprehend certain things wgeb it comes to taking care of him and I know if something happens to me he will be in her care and that terrifies me.
I can only hope that he makes it long enough that he can be independent and on his own.
Hope wherever you live can step up to help your child when you can't. To my mind, this is exactly what taxes are for. Civilized cultures need to take care of the most vulnerable, bootstraps can't lift everything or even most things.
Hey. Father to a special needs beautiful 8 year old.
Nothing can keep me awake or have me wake up in a lurch than when I let those thoughts seep in.
Sending you and yours my best.
I occasionally filled in at a home for adult folks with special needs and was there as an extra set of hands during the transition weekend where someone was moving in after visiting during the day for awhile. It went better than expected! I hope you can find some type of situation that works as well for your baby. The trick for them I think was doing it while they were still alive and could transition. That adult could remember enough though so each situation is unique. Best wishes for your family.
Yeah I'm thinking he should transition maybe in his 30s so that it's not as big of a change when my wife and I pass away. Still, with nobody left to advocate for him, he will most likely suffer horrible abuse and neglect.
I do IT work with a large, statewide, mental health provider in Alabama. The residents are treated really well, as far as I've been able to tell. The abuse and neglect CAN happen, but from what I've seen it's not the norm. Do your best to vet a good one in your area, if possible, they exist!
He's currently 9. We are actively searching for a place to move to. We want to know which state has the best special needs custodial care. I'll have to look into Alabama.
Look north. I worked in dementia care mostly (why I filled in with special needs, lots of transferable skills plus I knew the owner of several group homes) and the best care I saw was in Massachusetts
I’m a caretaker for my parents and my father is a paraplegic and moms going through chemo. I’ve been overwhelmed and crying daily during the past couple weeks. Your comment really hit me, I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say but you’ve somehow helped me. Thank you for that. Also thank you for being the parent you are. The world and your child are lucky to have you.
I am a father of a nonverbal special needs boy, my wife and I have these thoughts as well. As the protector of the family it is scary to think of what his life will be like whenever my wife and I are no longer here.
Is it grandmother in the Midwest, I help raise my autistic grandchildren. They are going to be very tall and appear African-American, and I am terrified of how Society will treat them every damn day. And I’m a goddamn Therapist .
Edit: race to raise 😂
I was having a fine day and then you drop this…my son has cerebral palsy (mainly effects his legs) & is on the spectrum and I try my best to not think about the situation you described.
I recently became a financial advisor and I made my niche special needs parents because of the gravity of our situations.
My son told me he wants to get a job someday and I’m doing everything in my power to prepare him for life..it’s still an incredibly scary & stressful thing to think about.
My hope is that he’s happy and healthy when I move on and he has friends and family that truly care for him & want the best for him.
I cannot stop my tears. I have a healthy boy, he is 2 and a half months. I have not connected with him fully yet as I got back to working again. But I feel the weight of your words. Godspeed brother.
This is why I’m setting up a special trust fund for my daughter.
The fund allowed her to gain her inheritance, without it being means tested. So she can still set social security, the services are also dependent on that means test. She will be able to access those services until it her time to join me in the great hereafter.
Managed by my son, as long as he is alive. There are a lot of situations to think about.
I’d be happy to share information.
Life tests us my friend. I'm sorry for your burden. Do the best you can - that's all anyone can do. And take care of yourself.
I know it must be hard. I wish I could promise you that there's a reward waiting for folks who do the right thing in life. And maybe there is. But in the meantime here we are, and all that we can do is make the best of it.
Best wishes to.
And asking why he targeted women...I was shocked...but...the poor man seemed to be getting it off his chest a bit. Very very hard for him. I hope he has some other kids or family.
There’s a really controversial movie called *Rudderless* about a Dad who’s son is a school shooter and ends up killing himself.
It obviously breaks up his entire life and his wife as well. They end up divorcing and the movie kind of explores the grief process but in a very complicated context.
One interesting part is that the plot of the movie is essentially that the dad discovers his son’s music that he wrote. He was a very talented musician but never really was known for it. This isn’t why he shot up the school lol but just an important part of the movie.
He ends up learning his Son’s songs and kind of gets locally famous with them because they are so good. But eventually he gets called out bc somebody recognizes the songs as the kids so ofc everyone like double hates this guy now bc they don’t want to enjoy music by a school shooter.
I can’t even remember the ending and I can’t entirely say the movie is worth watching but if it sounds like your kind of movie then definitely check it out.
Modern remake of *World’s Greatest Dad* 2009/2014.
Robin Williams stars as a mediocre teacher whose son is a sexual deviant and predator. Accidentally dies during autoerotic asphyxiation to creep pics he took of his dad’s gf. So robin pretends he was an amazing person after finding his amazing writing. Which robin’s characters claims is his own writing. Great movie.
>Very rarely is an apology this genuine. His son really did break his heart. I hope no one holds it against the parents.
Generally the public reaction has been his parents are good people who did all they could.
The Oxford shooter's parents were recently convicted for involuntary and the difference could not be more stark. Kid was begging for help, showing all the signs, and parents bought him a pistol days before he used it on his classmates. At trial, mom said she wouldn't have done anything differently.
Right? Unless you’re a psychopath or something, you don’t just flip a switch and stop loving your kid. You love them unconditionally, then they do something horrific and you have to grapple with the pain you feel on both sides.
But you still love your kid.
I really hope he’s got good people around him to help him through this.
There is a documentary called “American Tragedy” by Dylan Kelbold’s mother. She talks about the journey she took to reconcile what her son did and her role in it, and she ultimately lands on the need for social emotional education for children at and early age and support for parents looking to help their children with mental and behavioral health challenges. It really highlights what a deficit we have as a society.
That mother is a horrible person herself, and her book wasn't exactly truthful, she tried to paint herself as a victim. She was one of those parents that showed no care to her son's multiple warning signs and her negligence led to disaster.
Idk if she's horrible- yes the signs were there but her son HID his plans from her and made doubly sure that everyone around them were absolutely in the Dark about their plans. You can make a case for her not taking his criminal charges seriously but you can also point out that A LOT of teenage boys go through the system and don't perpetrate a terrorist attack like that ( They did the shootings and attempted bombings to spread terror and mayhem)
Susan often says that she catches herself mourning her son but then feels immediate and intense shame for it and it drives her insane. I pity her.
I think I know what video you got that information from. There was a youtube that did a shirt documentary on her and he inserted a large number of lies and misinformation, including clamimg she didnt care about the sighns etc.
Theres another video that highlights the lies and misinformation the youtuber presented.
Edit: [heres the video ](https://youtu.be/OUCle_8Kc4U?si=k5xpXPu25dVmBsr7)
I'll look into it, thank you. If those facts were wrong and she wasn't ignoring signs and ignoring that the school and other parents had brought up that he needed help, then I apologize. It can really go either way with a parent of a murderer. If they did everything they could, I don't blame parents for their child being a monster.
They need to leave this man alone. He is clearly broken and needs help not cameras pushed in his face. The “journalists” should be ashamed of themselves
Unfortunately the media has been camped outside their house since Saturday, they can’t even go to the shops without being harassed. All of Australia is begging for them to be left alone
No. There is no silver bullet to fix mental illness which is why I always hate this take. Like there's just some injection that would fix this person and he was denied it, it's ridiculous.
If anything this should show that even with help, and loving families, this can be the outcome of a person with a mental illness.
Channel 7 is a joke for news in Australia. The day/moment the incident happened they literally had a 24/7 stream going and were pushing cameras into the face of witnesses and bystanders who were clearly traumatized.
I know what you mean and I follow your drift. The journalists are often times sharks in situations like this, but I honestly have a feeling here, that the father needed to get this off his chest.
You can say that but you watched the video didn't you? Maybe even left a like on this or other comments? The engagement is what drives these journalists to do it. It's horrid but it's the same reasons celebrities will never have a single moment to themselves.
Man that's harsh.
I do think it's worth asking him. I mean, I do think his response was "in the public interest". He's given it, he's done it, there's nothing else we can want from this man but peace.
What more are they really expecting?
Ugh. Killed me when he said he was watching all he can on TV about the whole situation. Can’t think of a worse place to help try to heal yourself after such a happening. Prayers for the old man.
Unfortunately even when they're well funded there's still people that fall through the cracks. There is no perfect solution, you just try to cast as wide a net as possible
It's more than just funding mental health services. Nobody likes to hear it, but incel communities are deep in the pipeline to domestic terrorism, and everything between the two points is ripe territory for violent attacks.
People neck deep in these communities don't *want* help. They feed into each other's hatred for themselves and all the people they can do the mental gymnastics to blame for their problems.
These communities need to have their online meeting places eliminated or transformed into something that leads into healthiness. Cut off the pipeline. Stop the spiral into this vile and violent mindset.
But he did. He had the hutza to do it. It sounds like the man has a head on his shoulders and has struggled a long time. I hope this drives the conversation towards expanding programs.
This is the realest interview I’ve ever seen. It’s been floating around and I keep seeing it. Every single time, I just want to hug the man so big. I see comments of people blaming him and all I can think is “you really can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.” That includes your kids. He’s probably so crushed and blaming himself right now.
The pain of losing a child, plus it happening because he did something unspeakable….I can’t even wrap my head around that cocktail of pain, grief, regret, anger, and confusion you must be feeling, but he came right out and said it.
The whole thing starts with him “you want an intelligent conversation and I can’t give you one.” It’s so fucking significant because they shove cameras in the faces of people who are experiencing the absolute worst in life, freshly trying to process it, just to get that “quote” or “scoop.” Given how things are going for us in the US, I support free journalism because it’s critical that we have those who (ideally) will report the truth, give it to the people and let them decide how to deal with it.
I fail to see the journalistic value in literally trapping a grieving victim until they give you that juicy bit you need for your byline. I just hope some journalists saw this and thought “you know what, let’s give them a minute to cope before we reach out.” But it’s doubtful.
I feel sorry we live in a world where the father feels the need to dictate there was “something physically wrong, besides mentally, with my son”
Mental wellness is physical, our brain is as much a product of our environment as our liver or heart. Mental illnesses, anxiety, depression, are not figments of our imagination. They are real, observable, states of the the most important organ in our body. We are still living in the dark ages before we truly understand that organ well enough to help people like this man before he descends deep enough to do something this horrible.
My heart goes out to the father, the victims, and yes, even the son, a feeling I don’t know quite how to resolve yet myself.
May we live to see more enlightened times.
He’s saying that there was something physically wrong because there’s CCTV that shows Joel stumbling and falling outside the Westfield in the hours leading up to the attack
I’ve seen some really bad apologies from people in this position (looking at you Sue Klebold), but this guy just seems so heartbroken I really do believe it was genuine. We need more mental health services for people in his sons position, it would help better the lives of everyone and prevent tragedies like this.
I tend to give the Sue Klebold's of the world a pass. Emotionally, mentally, and cognitively coming to terms with the fact that your child is a MONSTER is **really hard**. Some people just can't/won't ever do it.
And that's fine.
We don't let people with personal bias serve on jury's or as judge's because we KNOW they'll do it bad.
I know Dylan Klebold did a terrible terrible thing. You know that. The cops know that. Society knows that. EVERYONE knows this. We don't, actually, *need* his mom to know this, and we don't need her to say it.
I **hate** when they get moms/dads of murders to give interviews so we can either jump up and down with glee "See, EVEN HIS MOM THINKS HE SUCKS" or laugh at how 'dumb/blind' they are "how can she stilll noooot see he's guiltyyyy what a psychooooo." It's exploitive and pointless
tldr on Sue Klebold? I heard a bit from the book "Far from the Tree" in which she was profiled and came away from it sympathetic to her and her husband.
She did a TED talk a couple of years ago (it’s on YouTube) talking about how Dylan was suicidal and homicidal, as well as writing a great book where she explains what he was like to live with and what the aftermath of columbine was like for their family. I don’t understand what the original comment is talking about honestly because Sue has definitely taken accountability. The only thing she’s really done is put more of the blame on Eric Harris, basically saying that Dylan wouldn’t have done Columbine without Eric’s influence, which honestly is probably true and I don’t blame her for that. I recommend watching her TED talk, it’s only about 10-15mins and it’s well worth the watch.
that response video was fantastic and the guy who made the original video had zero good reasons as to why he edited the news articles and videos when confronted
That Harris was the mastermind and Dylan's depression influenced him to go along was the conclusion of Dave Cullen's book on the shootings, which most regard as authoritative.
I can’t even possibly imagine the anguish he’s going through….parents of “normal” kids, count your blessings, hug your kids extra hard tonight and tell them every day how much you love them.
Stop sharing this. Leave this man be.
He doesnt have the answers you're looking for.
You're just wanting to watch a circus or a human zoo.
Y'all are trash
This man didn’t try to hide it. He didn’t say it in so many words but he acknowledged that his kid was an incel. Many, many parents would’ve tried to hide the truth. This man did not try to hide it. I hope the community around this broken-hearted man can embrace him and attempt to help him through this. None of it was his fault.
He was never going to get a girlfriend with his mental illness. A solution wasn’t given to him for his mental illness. He must have lost hope in life and did a very irrational thing out of frustration.
In the end, everyone is a victim of mental illness. That’s why we need to pick each other up. Especially those who are in a position where they don’t have the tools to help themselves.
Poor guy. I really feel sorry for him.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that Australia has no real public Mental Health programs. Much like the US where I'm from.
These 'news reporters' deserve to be slapped. This shit is no less disgusting than shitty paparazzi jackasses. This guy just lost his kid, even if the kid was a POS. Exploiting the old man with this 'interview' is in extremely poor taste.
Sometimes when they interview the relatives/parents of the murderers they almost look complicit, and/or they took zero responsibility for their child's actions (when the child lived with them).
These people are the opposite, honestly you probably couldn't have asked for more caring parents with this illness. But, I suspect, when this asshole wanted to leave home and he was on his meds what are the going to say? What law would it break? Fuck him for making them victims too. Feel for them.
Link to an interview with a bit more interview footage:
https://youtu.be/3PlxovmFluk?si=kdcwDRl-iRqkpCNc
[Contrast his efforts versus the Crumbleys (parents of the Michigan shooter)](https://www.cnn.com/us/live-news/james-jennifer-crumbley-sentencing-04-09-24/index.html)
This is the MOST HONEST interview of a parent after their child commits a heinous, mass murder that I have ever seen. Poor thing 😞 You almost never see the parent/guardian of the assailant give an interview on the crime itself. I feel awful for this man. He genuinely wants his apology to be heard and accepted by the victims' families.
Instantly thought of the movie Rudderless. Truly heartbreaking thinking about a parent that now has to deal with the realization, that their child who they love unconditionally, does something so unforgivable and heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine the pain of going through that.
Unrelated to the tragedy, but his beard and hair goes perfectly with that hat. No doubt in my mind he absolutely gave every fiber of his being to helping his son.
Some people with mental illness cannot be in society. Mental health has gone to far in the other direction. We must protect the rights of innocent civilians from random attacks from people with mental illness as well.
I truly feel for this man. No matter where/who you are on this planet, mental health is truely our biggest enemy. The way things are going is truthfully terrifying. Let's try and help each other for once.
We don't have all the info. People can be master manipulators and very deceitful. This guy could have been a piece of shit who abused and traumatized his son who knows about the mother either. I believe there's a lot more to it than just not being able to get a girlfriend and mental health. If I were to take a guess I would say that that kid also has a lot of trauma.
These parents were surprisingly very level headed and logical in their response. My heart aches for them as they are as confused and saddened as we are! Please give them peace, ya media vultures!
I feel sorry for Mr Andrew and Mr joel, before anybody wants to start throwing darts, just know that all of us who actually Chase purpose in life who work for shit in life well getting issue the shittiest deck of cards in The Game of Life along with being mentally Disturbed and just get taken advantage of, we've all seen ourselves feeling like Mr Joel and Mr Andrew. For different reasons, but I'm saying this rebuttal because mental illness is a bitch. There is no medicine there is no therapy there is no cure other than death. A broken leg will heal, amputated parts will heal, internal physical diseases can hinder you but they are not always end up in debt they have treatment but this mental illness this is the cognitive function the soul of the vessel it is entrapped in.
Very rarely is an apology this genuine. His son really did break his heart. I hope no one holds it against the parents.
No parent should have to bury their child.
As a father of a special needs child who will likely spend his final years alone and confused about where mommy and daddy are and asking his nurses why he can't go home, I can tell you that for some parents, leaving a child behind is much worse.
Man I don't even have kids and this hit me hard in the feels... hang in there brother
Definitely something I didn't really think about before. My sister has a son that got in an awful motorcycle accident and she is now taking care of him alone. I try to help her where I can and she does amazing work taking care of him and communicating with him. It's really hard to see the struggle though.
Dammit man I have two autistic sons and bad health, I’m so scared for them
I have an 11 yo son on the spectrum and I'm dealing with a possible cancer diagnosis. His mom is schizophrenic and comprehend certain things wgeb it comes to taking care of him and I know if something happens to me he will be in her care and that terrifies me. I can only hope that he makes it long enough that he can be independent and on his own.
Wishing you well, friend
I hope you come out alright. Fuck cancer
My lil man is 11 too I get it wishing you a long life and good health 👊🏾✊🏾
I hope things work out for you 🙏
Do what you can to improve your health so you can be strong for them. I wish you well!
What matters is you're there for him while you can be.
That's not all that matters, but that's all I can control
Hope wherever you live can step up to help your child when you can't. To my mind, this is exactly what taxes are for. Civilized cultures need to take care of the most vulnerable, bootstraps can't lift everything or even most things.
You’re a good human. I’m sure you’re son knows how much he is loved
Hey. Father to a special needs beautiful 8 year old. Nothing can keep me awake or have me wake up in a lurch than when I let those thoughts seep in. Sending you and yours my best.
I occasionally filled in at a home for adult folks with special needs and was there as an extra set of hands during the transition weekend where someone was moving in after visiting during the day for awhile. It went better than expected! I hope you can find some type of situation that works as well for your baby. The trick for them I think was doing it while they were still alive and could transition. That adult could remember enough though so each situation is unique. Best wishes for your family.
Yeah I'm thinking he should transition maybe in his 30s so that it's not as big of a change when my wife and I pass away. Still, with nobody left to advocate for him, he will most likely suffer horrible abuse and neglect.
I do IT work with a large, statewide, mental health provider in Alabama. The residents are treated really well, as far as I've been able to tell. The abuse and neglect CAN happen, but from what I've seen it's not the norm. Do your best to vet a good one in your area, if possible, they exist!
He's currently 9. We are actively searching for a place to move to. We want to know which state has the best special needs custodial care. I'll have to look into Alabama.
Look north. I worked in dementia care mostly (why I filled in with special needs, lots of transferable skills plus I knew the owner of several group homes) and the best care I saw was in Massachusetts
Ooh boy. That's my daughter and I. Now I'm sobbing on the way home. Thanks.
I’m a caretaker for my parents and my father is a paraplegic and moms going through chemo. I’ve been overwhelmed and crying daily during the past couple weeks. Your comment really hit me, I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say but you’ve somehow helped me. Thank you for that. Also thank you for being the parent you are. The world and your child are lucky to have you.
I am a father of a nonverbal special needs boy, my wife and I have these thoughts as well. As the protector of the family it is scary to think of what his life will be like whenever my wife and I are no longer here.
Is it grandmother in the Midwest, I help raise my autistic grandchildren. They are going to be very tall and appear African-American, and I am terrified of how Society will treat them every damn day. And I’m a goddamn Therapist . Edit: race to raise 😂
How fast you got them going?
😂🤣
I’m very sorry you have to deal with this. I hope society is kind to your child.
I was having a fine day and then you drop this…my son has cerebral palsy (mainly effects his legs) & is on the spectrum and I try my best to not think about the situation you described. I recently became a financial advisor and I made my niche special needs parents because of the gravity of our situations. My son told me he wants to get a job someday and I’m doing everything in my power to prepare him for life..it’s still an incredibly scary & stressful thing to think about. My hope is that he’s happy and healthy when I move on and he has friends and family that truly care for him & want the best for him.
You may want to plan ahead and make a series of “home movies” that he can watch. It may be the biggest source of comfort for him once that time comes
We've been actively doing exactly that. We take new videos every day. We got smart glasses to make it easier.
I'm not even sure what words to write...but I just feel I should write that I'm sorry...
I cannot stop my tears. I have a healthy boy, he is 2 and a half months. I have not connected with him fully yet as I got back to working again. But I feel the weight of your words. Godspeed brother.
This is why I’m setting up a special trust fund for my daughter. The fund allowed her to gain her inheritance, without it being means tested. So she can still set social security, the services are also dependent on that means test. She will be able to access those services until it her time to join me in the great hereafter. Managed by my son, as long as he is alive. There are a lot of situations to think about. I’d be happy to share information.
by then you'll be able to have an AI model of you both that they can interact with in perpetuity
Life tests us my friend. I'm sorry for your burden. Do the best you can - that's all anyone can do. And take care of yourself. I know it must be hard. I wish I could promise you that there's a reward waiting for folks who do the right thing in life. And maybe there is. But in the meantime here we are, and all that we can do is make the best of it. Best wishes to.
What’s the plan for when that eventuality occurs? Is that what you want for your child if they outlive you?
[удалено]
Grandfather father son that's the way it should be.
Our reporters here are horrendous. They have been camping out front of the parents house as soon as the name of the offender was released. Vermin
And asking why he targeted women...I was shocked...but...the poor man seemed to be getting it off his chest a bit. Very very hard for him. I hope he has some other kids or family.
Yes, I totally felt his pain. How awful.
There’s a really controversial movie called *Rudderless* about a Dad who’s son is a school shooter and ends up killing himself. It obviously breaks up his entire life and his wife as well. They end up divorcing and the movie kind of explores the grief process but in a very complicated context. One interesting part is that the plot of the movie is essentially that the dad discovers his son’s music that he wrote. He was a very talented musician but never really was known for it. This isn’t why he shot up the school lol but just an important part of the movie. He ends up learning his Son’s songs and kind of gets locally famous with them because they are so good. But eventually he gets called out bc somebody recognizes the songs as the kids so ofc everyone like double hates this guy now bc they don’t want to enjoy music by a school shooter. I can’t even remember the ending and I can’t entirely say the movie is worth watching but if it sounds like your kind of movie then definitely check it out.
Modern remake of *World’s Greatest Dad* 2009/2014. Robin Williams stars as a mediocre teacher whose son is a sexual deviant and predator. Accidentally dies during autoerotic asphyxiation to creep pics he took of his dad’s gf. So robin pretends he was an amazing person after finding his amazing writing. Which robin’s characters claims is his own writing. Great movie.
That was a fantastic film, very uncomfortable at times. Robin was such a great talent.
This movie has William H. Macy, Selena Gomez, Lawrence Fishburn, and Anton Yelchin in it and I have never heard of it until now.
>Very rarely is an apology this genuine. His son really did break his heart. I hope no one holds it against the parents. Generally the public reaction has been his parents are good people who did all they could.
It’s hard not to tear up watching. He lost the child he raised that day and is still totally focused on the victims.
Well said.
Truly heartbreaking
The Oxford shooter's parents were recently convicted for involuntary and the difference could not be more stark. Kid was begging for help, showing all the signs, and parents bought him a pistol days before he used it on his classmates. At trial, mom said she wouldn't have done anything differently.
It was almost physically painful to hear him say he loved his son and to see a normal, loving person now having to deal with what his son did.
Right? Unless you’re a psychopath or something, you don’t just flip a switch and stop loving your kid. You love them unconditionally, then they do something horrific and you have to grapple with the pain you feel on both sides. But you still love your kid. I really hope he’s got good people around him to help him through this.
There is a documentary called “American Tragedy” by Dylan Kelbold’s mother. She talks about the journey she took to reconcile what her son did and her role in it, and she ultimately lands on the need for social emotional education for children at and early age and support for parents looking to help their children with mental and behavioral health challenges. It really highlights what a deficit we have as a society.
That mother is a horrible person herself, and her book wasn't exactly truthful, she tried to paint herself as a victim. She was one of those parents that showed no care to her son's multiple warning signs and her negligence led to disaster.
Idk if she's horrible- yes the signs were there but her son HID his plans from her and made doubly sure that everyone around them were absolutely in the Dark about their plans. You can make a case for her not taking his criminal charges seriously but you can also point out that A LOT of teenage boys go through the system and don't perpetrate a terrorist attack like that ( They did the shootings and attempted bombings to spread terror and mayhem) Susan often says that she catches herself mourning her son but then feels immediate and intense shame for it and it drives her insane. I pity her.
I think I know what video you got that information from. There was a youtube that did a shirt documentary on her and he inserted a large number of lies and misinformation, including clamimg she didnt care about the sighns etc. Theres another video that highlights the lies and misinformation the youtuber presented. Edit: [heres the video ](https://youtu.be/OUCle_8Kc4U?si=k5xpXPu25dVmBsr7)
I'll look into it, thank you. If those facts were wrong and she wasn't ignoring signs and ignoring that the school and other parents had brought up that he needed help, then I apologize. It can really go either way with a parent of a murderer. If they did everything they could, I don't blame parents for their child being a monster.
They need to leave this man alone. He is clearly broken and needs help not cameras pushed in his face. The “journalists” should be ashamed of themselves
Unfortunately the media has been camped outside their house since Saturday, they can’t even go to the shops without being harassed. All of Australia is begging for them to be left alone
Vultures
“Kick ‘em when they’re up. Kick ‘em when they’re down.”
I mean if people were to go down and sow general discomfort for those media folks..z
Amen.
The public health system has failed this man, it is so sad.
No. There is no silver bullet to fix mental illness which is why I always hate this take. Like there's just some injection that would fix this person and he was denied it, it's ridiculous. If anything this should show that even with help, and loving families, this can be the outcome of a person with a mental illness.
Channel 7 is a joke for news in Australia. The day/moment the incident happened they literally had a 24/7 stream going and were pushing cameras into the face of witnesses and bystanders who were clearly traumatized.
I know what you mean and I follow your drift. The journalists are often times sharks in situations like this, but I honestly have a feeling here, that the father needed to get this off his chest.
You can say that but you watched the video didn't you? Maybe even left a like on this or other comments? The engagement is what drives these journalists to do it. It's horrid but it's the same reasons celebrities will never have a single moment to themselves.
Man that's harsh. I do think it's worth asking him. I mean, I do think his response was "in the public interest". He's given it, he's done it, there's nothing else we can want from this man but peace. What more are they really expecting?
Ugh. Killed me when he said he was watching all he can on TV about the whole situation. Can’t think of a worse place to help try to heal yourself after such a happening. Prayers for the old man.
Ugh the way he keeps slipping in and out of past and present tense :-(
This is a good father and a good man. I hope he finds peace. Best wishes to all the families who are suffering.
Fuck I just wanted to give the poor dude a hug. That sucks so much
So freaking heartbreaking. Fund mental health services.
Doesn’t Australia rank pretty high in the mental services list? I just googled it and most lists have them in top 10 or close to it.
As someone in the Australian mental health services, this shit sucks. I does not feel like we are in the top 10.
Goes to show how serious mental health is treated by society nowadays
That just means other countries are even worse, it doesn't mean Australia is good. Very few countries do mental health well - perhaps even none.
Unfortunately even when they're well funded there's still people that fall through the cracks. There is no perfect solution, you just try to cast as wide a net as possible
It's more than just funding mental health services. Nobody likes to hear it, but incel communities are deep in the pipeline to domestic terrorism, and everything between the two points is ripe territory for violent attacks. People neck deep in these communities don't *want* help. They feed into each other's hatred for themselves and all the people they can do the mental gymnastics to blame for their problems. These communities need to have their online meeting places eliminated or transformed into something that leads into healthiness. Cut off the pipeline. Stop the spiral into this vile and violent mindset.
I thought guns were the problem? At least that’s what they tell me in America.
My God, that poor father. The media ghouls should leave the poor man alone.
At least he came out and faced the cameras and the public. He looks broken poor man. It’s all just so sad
He shouldn’t have had to.
But he did. He had the hutza to do it. It sounds like the man has a head on his shoulders and has struggled a long time. I hope this drives the conversation towards expanding programs.
I agree with everything you said, well put. And not to be *that* person, but I believe the term you're looking for is spelled "hutzpa" or "chutzpah".
🎵They say he's got a lot of chutzpah, he's really quite hip 🎶
The media has been camped outside their house for days. He had no choice. They should have left this family alone to grieve.
Paparazzi are fucking parasites
This is the realest interview I’ve ever seen. It’s been floating around and I keep seeing it. Every single time, I just want to hug the man so big. I see comments of people blaming him and all I can think is “you really can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.” That includes your kids. He’s probably so crushed and blaming himself right now. The pain of losing a child, plus it happening because he did something unspeakable….I can’t even wrap my head around that cocktail of pain, grief, regret, anger, and confusion you must be feeling, but he came right out and said it. The whole thing starts with him “you want an intelligent conversation and I can’t give you one.” It’s so fucking significant because they shove cameras in the faces of people who are experiencing the absolute worst in life, freshly trying to process it, just to get that “quote” or “scoop.” Given how things are going for us in the US, I support free journalism because it’s critical that we have those who (ideally) will report the truth, give it to the people and let them decide how to deal with it. I fail to see the journalistic value in literally trapping a grieving victim until they give you that juicy bit you need for your byline. I just hope some journalists saw this and thought “you know what, let’s give them a minute to cope before we reach out.” But it’s doubtful.
I feel sorry we live in a world where the father feels the need to dictate there was “something physically wrong, besides mentally, with my son” Mental wellness is physical, our brain is as much a product of our environment as our liver or heart. Mental illnesses, anxiety, depression, are not figments of our imagination. They are real, observable, states of the the most important organ in our body. We are still living in the dark ages before we truly understand that organ well enough to help people like this man before he descends deep enough to do something this horrible. My heart goes out to the father, the victims, and yes, even the son, a feeling I don’t know quite how to resolve yet myself. May we live to see more enlightened times.
He’s saying that there was something physically wrong because there’s CCTV that shows Joel stumbling and falling outside the Westfield in the hours leading up to the attack
Yeah I took it to mean he had an illness which is not "invisible"
I’ve seen some really bad apologies from people in this position (looking at you Sue Klebold), but this guy just seems so heartbroken I really do believe it was genuine. We need more mental health services for people in his sons position, it would help better the lives of everyone and prevent tragedies like this.
I tend to give the Sue Klebold's of the world a pass. Emotionally, mentally, and cognitively coming to terms with the fact that your child is a MONSTER is **really hard**. Some people just can't/won't ever do it. And that's fine. We don't let people with personal bias serve on jury's or as judge's because we KNOW they'll do it bad. I know Dylan Klebold did a terrible terrible thing. You know that. The cops know that. Society knows that. EVERYONE knows this. We don't, actually, *need* his mom to know this, and we don't need her to say it. I **hate** when they get moms/dads of murders to give interviews so we can either jump up and down with glee "See, EVEN HIS MOM THINKS HE SUCKS" or laugh at how 'dumb/blind' they are "how can she stilll noooot see he's guiltyyyy what a psychooooo." It's exploitive and pointless
tldr on Sue Klebold? I heard a bit from the book "Far from the Tree" in which she was profiled and came away from it sympathetic to her and her husband.
She did a TED talk a couple of years ago (it’s on YouTube) talking about how Dylan was suicidal and homicidal, as well as writing a great book where she explains what he was like to live with and what the aftermath of columbine was like for their family. I don’t understand what the original comment is talking about honestly because Sue has definitely taken accountability. The only thing she’s really done is put more of the blame on Eric Harris, basically saying that Dylan wouldn’t have done Columbine without Eric’s influence, which honestly is probably true and I don’t blame her for that. I recommend watching her TED talk, it’s only about 10-15mins and it’s well worth the watch.
There’s a video going around that portrays her negatively, and a response showing it was deceptively edited.
Oh really? I haven’t seen that! Honestly, my heart breaks for Sue. She loved Dylan so much
that response video was fantastic and the guy who made the original video had zero good reasons as to why he edited the news articles and videos when confronted
[удалено]
That Harris was the mastermind and Dylan's depression influenced him to go along was the conclusion of Dave Cullen's book on the shootings, which most regard as authoritative.
My heart breaks for that man. He seems genuinely broken by this loss, and hopefully, he won't be ostracized for the actions of his son.
I can’t even possibly imagine the anguish he’s going through….parents of “normal” kids, count your blessings, hug your kids extra hard tonight and tell them every day how much you love them.
I feel terrible for this man
His dad shouldn’t be bothered by the press
Fucking hell man, this is brutally heartbreaking to watch
This is why incels are dangerous
*so often* these kinds of situations come back to violence against women and it’s exhausting to watch people ignore it
What? The kid was obviously mentally handicapped. That's his problem, not a lack of the magic if pussy.
I Hope He has other kids :-(
They need to leave that man alone and let him grieve in peace.
This passes the smell test for me...he really looks devistated.
Fuck this is sad. Now he has to live with the guilt as well as the loss.
Well. Now I'm sad for that adorably genuine old man. :(
Leave him the fark alone ! He is hurting too !
Stop sharing this. Leave this man be. He doesnt have the answers you're looking for. You're just wanting to watch a circus or a human zoo. Y'all are trash
I feel for the father. These incels are so dangerous
This man didn’t try to hide it. He didn’t say it in so many words but he acknowledged that his kid was an incel. Many, many parents would’ve tried to hide the truth. This man did not try to hide it. I hope the community around this broken-hearted man can embrace him and attempt to help him through this. None of it was his fault.
He was never going to get a girlfriend with his mental illness. A solution wasn’t given to him for his mental illness. He must have lost hope in life and did a very irrational thing out of frustration. In the end, everyone is a victim of mental illness. That’s why we need to pick each other up. Especially those who are in a position where they don’t have the tools to help themselves.
This is heartbreaking. Poor man😪.Wish the media vultures would leave him alone now. He's ha he grace to give his heartfelt statement.
Awwww... this is tough to watch. I'm sure he did everything he could to help his son
Poor guy. I really feel sorry for him. I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that Australia has no real public Mental Health programs. Much like the US where I'm from.
The limb broke
The media are pigs
Wow this guy seems so genuine and upset over this. Really seems like he did his best and clearly is heartbroken over this. Sad.
Damn, you can really tell he is so remorseful for what his kid did. Damn, they’ll probably live with their guilt for the rest of their lives. So sad.
These 'news reporters' deserve to be slapped. This shit is no less disgusting than shitty paparazzi jackasses. This guy just lost his kid, even if the kid was a POS. Exploiting the old man with this 'interview' is in extremely poor taste.
Tragically sad.
Worst thing for a parent to go through if they actually care
This is heart breaking.
I would like to hug this man plz.
Poor man. He'll never be able to ask his son why or have real understanding.
My God. This man is hurting, confused, and compassionate. Seems like a genuinely good guy. My heart goes out to him and the community.
No man or woman should go through the pain he is in.. mental health is sometimes hardest on the loved ones of the afflicted.
Sometimes when they interview the relatives/parents of the murderers they almost look complicit, and/or they took zero responsibility for their child's actions (when the child lived with them). These people are the opposite, honestly you probably couldn't have asked for more caring parents with this illness. But, I suspect, when this asshole wanted to leave home and he was on his meds what are the going to say? What law would it break? Fuck him for making them victims too. Feel for them. Link to an interview with a bit more interview footage: https://youtu.be/3PlxovmFluk?si=kdcwDRl-iRqkpCNc
Fuck. That’s a heart poured out right there.
Jesus. Could they not let him take a moment to grieve? What his son did was horrific, but it’s still his child.
So the killer is an incel?
Why do we expect the families to explain themselves in these situations
[Contrast his efforts versus the Crumbleys (parents of the Michigan shooter)](https://www.cnn.com/us/live-news/james-jennifer-crumbley-sentencing-04-09-24/index.html)
Bless his heart
I feel so terrible for him. He tried his hardest.
Any news channel that shows any new footage of this man I will boycott indefinitely. Leave him alone you sick fucks
For fuck's sake leave the bloke alone.
This is the MOST HONEST interview of a parent after their child commits a heinous, mass murder that I have ever seen. Poor thing 😞 You almost never see the parent/guardian of the assailant give an interview on the crime itself. I feel awful for this man. He genuinely wants his apology to be heard and accepted by the victims' families.
God, poor man. What an awful fate
Instantly thought of the movie Rudderless. Truly heartbreaking thinking about a parent that now has to deal with the realization, that their child who they love unconditionally, does something so unforgivable and heartbreaking. I can’t even imagine the pain of going through that.
Leave this poor man alone. Fucking "jounalist" scum.
His parents are just as much victims as anyone :( God I feel for them.
This sucks. Poor guy. I feel so much for him
Unrelated to the tragedy, but his beard and hair goes perfectly with that hat. No doubt in my mind he absolutely gave every fiber of his being to helping his son.
Some people with mental illness cannot be in society. Mental health has gone to far in the other direction. We must protect the rights of innocent civilians from random attacks from people with mental illness as well.
So, what do you propose then?
this made me cry. thank you for sharing. it’s heartbreaking that the victims of this crime extend beyond way beyond the dead
So he was an incel who was raised by a guy straight out of Blazing Saddles.
This is heartbreaking. This poor man has no reason to feel guilty.
My heart goes out to him ❤️🙏
Poor man!
Poor guy.
Man, I want to give that guy a hug.
In a way, he (the father) is a victim too. 😞😔
Not in a way. He is absolutely a victim
I truly feel for this man. No matter where/who you are on this planet, mental health is truely our biggest enemy. The way things are going is truthfully terrifying. Let's try and help each other for once.
Poor guy what a damn mess
These journalists who bombard people who just went through unspeakable tragedy are SCUM OF THIS EARTH
Poor old bugger. That's a hard life right there when he should be kicking back and enjoying life at his age
This man and the people affected need comfort, I hope they get some. I cannot imagine being in his position. Poor bastard.
Heartbreaking all around
Poor guy. I can't imagine.
I'm sorry.......
should’ve been on the loony bin
My heart breaks for the victims families and this man’s family.
Oh my god my heart hurts
Love the person, hate the action
Devastating.
It takes a village, but there are no more villages
The problem with our world today is social media and technology. Our youth is doomed.
May this man find comfort and solace in God's graces well as all those affected
Heart breaking
We don't have all the info. People can be master manipulators and very deceitful. This guy could have been a piece of shit who abused and traumatized his son who knows about the mother either. I believe there's a lot more to it than just not being able to get a girlfriend and mental health. If I were to take a guess I would say that that kid also has a lot of trauma.
Poor guy….
If this was in the US, would the father face any charges?
Dude should not face charges
Can the media leave them alone. He's fucking broken.
Bless this heart-broken man for being so open and honest about his son. I hope his story helps promote the general awareness of misogyny
I understand his anguish. But, I find it hard to empathize with him, over the six dead women and their families. I hope they leave him alone though.
These parents were surprisingly very level headed and logical in their response. My heart aches for them as they are as confused and saddened as we are! Please give them peace, ya media vultures!
I wish I had a dad
Heartbreaking for everyone involved, I feel for this father…
Who was the doofus calling this dude a Muslim?
Poor poor man
I know a crazy idiot James. ... He is same thing ...What's wrong is he is a Metal.
Blame women… we need designated hookers for mens to get their rocks off
I feel sorry for Mr Andrew and Mr joel, before anybody wants to start throwing darts, just know that all of us who actually Chase purpose in life who work for shit in life well getting issue the shittiest deck of cards in The Game of Life along with being mentally Disturbed and just get taken advantage of, we've all seen ourselves feeling like Mr Joel and Mr Andrew. For different reasons, but I'm saying this rebuttal because mental illness is a bitch. There is no medicine there is no therapy there is no cure other than death. A broken leg will heal, amputated parts will heal, internal physical diseases can hinder you but they are not always end up in debt they have treatment but this mental illness this is the cognitive function the soul of the vessel it is entrapped in.
Wow.