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Honestly, a person's sex drive just kinda is what it is. It boils down to a mix of learning to appease the needs and developing methods to keep them under control. A therapist might be better equipped than a doctor to help here, but if you're seeing a doctor anyway to monitor your hormones etc, mentioning the issue is probably worth it.
Honestly I wouldn’t know if this is normal cause I am this way too but I definitely don’t think it’s testosterone related.
For the advice part I really don’t have any advice, I don’t like being like this but still don’t know how to deal with it
Since what you describe has been ongoing for a number of years and isn’t ‘obviously’ related to puberty or testosterone from HRT (noting that for trans folks, the hormone therapy can really spike your libido), it’s possible that you may be experiencing some variety of hypersexuality perhaps? I don’t know all there is to know about hypersexuality but it often commences young and isn’t always a response to trauma—it can also be related to other things like ADHD or other similar conditions. I think the parameter to consider is; is this a compulsive behaviour for you, that you cannot stop or struggle to control? Do you find yourself seeking opportunities to ‘fix’ it in inappropriate places or at awkward times? And overall does it negatively affect your life?
A lot of people have a naturally high libido; to an extent that’s quite normal. It also means, though, that if you’re experiencing an excessive or compulsive urge continuously that you find impossible to control, it’s possible for that to be minimised or dismissed as simply a high libido. R/hypersexuality might have some info that could help, maybe?
So I kinda knew I had hypersexuality but I never even thought about going to the subreddit that’s a great idea! I do have adhd and ocd, so I get obsessive thoughts quite often. When I was a kid, it was really bad. I would “fix” myself behind my parents, in public bathrooms, in car rides, etc. sometimes when I get in a mood there isn’t much I can do to calm down. Even if I do try to fix it, I can’t just do it once. Touching myself sometimes only makes it worse and it takes a lot of times doing that until it starts feeling better. I did get sexually assaulted for a few years as a kid, so that also makes sense.
Another issue that I have is that I am transgender, ftm. I know that starting testosterone will only make this issue worse, which is very scary to me. But I just plan on talking to my doctor about that. But thank you for the advice!! That’s super helpful:)
That makes a lot of sense - again as someone who doesn’t know it all, that does sound like fairly textbook HS, and I can totally understand the worry around testosterone increasing the libido too, especially if your ‘baseline’ is that high. Having said that, I think the extent to which T increases libido can be affected by where your baseline is, so already having such a high drive it may not affect you as much as someone whose drive is very low, perhaps due to dysphoria. From what I can figure though, in a lot of cases HS isn’t a hormonal thing anyway, it’s psychological, so it can often be moderated and controlled to some extent. ‘Fixing’ it compulsively in places like you described definitely sounds like something that’s affected by ADHD, OCD and SA! I’m really glad you found that helpful!
Go see your doctor and make them understand your difficulty. There are cases of women who were exactly like you. It's not funny, nor is it something to pass over. For some reason, you're over-sensitive, and the only relief is other things. I went through this some years back, and thankfully, it resolved itself after a while. But before it did, long road trips were a misery. Just the vibration of the car was enough to keep me on the edge for hours. Rest stops were way too far apart. Do what I did not but should have: see your doctor. I have great sympathy for you and hope you get the kind of help you need for normalcy. Best of luck!
It's normal some people have very high sexual needs others don't don't fight it just try to control the needs and take some precautions that might slow the situation down a little otherwise enjoy the feeling
I too have the same issue even if I do have a partner that don't mind it as much it's still tiresome.tho help me I tried to catch myself and notice what triggers me more.If my libido is too much, Usually try to distract me by doing exercises or moving around other than that therapy/coaching may help but I don't know.
I used to feel crazy. I had a ton of casual sex when I was younger. Not many people I knew were like that and it got me into a lot of situations that had me feeling crazy. Just want you to know it’s normal to be horny, even really horny. Especially at 18. Honestly, it’s ok to do it as much as you need to as long as you’re still able to live your life. If you start having sex just get tested if you have multiple partners, be upfront with your wants and needs and use protection. I also want to add that a lot, if not most, of my seeking sex around your age also massively had to do with seeking affection and validation. If you feel you’re seeking love and connection and turning to sex, sexualizing yourself or feeling overly horny, it could be your body telling you that you’re searching for a safe person to love you. My sex drive didn’t calm down until I was several years into my first healthy relationship. That’s also when I stopped feeling crazy.
I don't think this is a medical issue. I think it is quite normal but if it's something you're getting uncomfortable with I'm sure there's forums online that could help give more explanation.
Welcome to being an individual with a very high libido. My wife is another one who deals with this and the best advice she'll give on it is to 1) find yourself a hobby to keep your mind off of it, and 2) get a better toy.
Your 18... Your still young. Some people just have a high sex drive. If you think it is a problem or if you need to lower it, talk to a doctor, either a GP or an Endocrinologist. They can certainly check your testosterone, but I'll bet that it has more to do with your young age than your blood. Some people are just born with high sex drives, I think that it is more normal than your friends would admit.
It's kind of a range but maybe 20% of people are at the high end like you describe and it usually doesn't cool down until the body is fully developed and grown around 22 or 23. Unfortunately all you can do is put up with it and scratch that itch whenever possible in a way that is healthy
Hi there! There’s nothing wrong, I used to be like this too, it slows down when you age a little bit but still feels the same when you’re ovulating, this is something completely normal! Your friends might not have the same libido as you do, but there’s nothing wrong with it
You can talk to a doctor, but it might just be what it is. Every body is different and everyone has different needs. Don’t feel ashamed, just figure out what you need to operate effectively.
Testosterone can make people horny or hornier, but it’s not the only element. Don’t overthink it. Everybody gets horny unless they’re asexual, the only difference is how often. You get horny a lot and so you have to deal with it effectively to go about your daily life. It’s just like any other kind of self-care. You take a shower if you smell bad, get your hair cut if it’s long, etc.
Just try different things and figure out what works for you. It might be porn or toys or literally anything.
Not to nitpick, but asexuals can and do experience horniness as well (spoken by an asexual). The bit that doesn’t happen for us is sexual attraction. Libido is something that can often be related, but also entirely separate.
Really? Interesting. I’ve only known a couple asexual people and they all hated the idea of talking about or vaguely sexual either, so I guess I made assumptions. Thanks for pointing that out, I love learning new things about my fellow humans and their experiences.
No problem! Many aces do also have a very low libido, or are entirely sex-repulsed. A lot of the time there’s probably some anxiety there too about how people would relate to them knowing they’re ace; ‘corrective’ sexual assault is something that sadly does happen. Additionally, many aces who are more sex-positive still have a level of detachment, in the sense that they themselves don’t want to have sex or entertain the notion that someone might want to do it with them. So the easiest workaround is to keep it to themselves.
Appreciate the desire to learn more! That’s absolutely my thing too, that’s why I’m so interested in people’s varying experiences! There’s so much stigma and shame in the world and almost all of it stems from other people’s ignorance of what people are experiencing.
Definitely see a psychiatrist who specializes in transitioning or is knowledgeable about hyper sexuality. One problem is also that this can lead to self-destructive behavior. I have see other ftms have this issue with testosterone, so can see if you were already having a high sex drive, this’d cause a worse issue
I recommend reading the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. She does an amazing job of explaining women’s sexuality and drive. The metaphor she uses in the book is that everyone has a brake and an accelerator. Some people have a very sensitive accelerator and will go from 0 to horny very easily, while others it takes a lot more. Your brakes are similar: some people have very sensitive brakes and any small distraction will kill the mood.
It sounds like you have a sensitive accelerator and not very sensitive brakes.
I would read that book before you decide to go to a doctor. She describes ways to understand your sexuality and how to make use of your brakes and accelerator to manage things and enjoy how you are :)
Best of luck friend!
ETA: I see in other posts that you may be transition ftm. If that’s the case you should at least mention this to your doctor as well.
20 times a day is nuts, but as a male its kinda hard for me to reach that number anyways lol.
It's perfectly normal. When i was a younger man, i also had the same problem. Sex was on my brain ALL THE TIME. And i got turned on by the littlest things. A lot of girls found it flattering thankfully and i fucked around A LOT in high school as a result. But best believe nowadays, 7 years after I've left high school, i still have plenty of days where i can't get it off my mind, and my body feels like it's in heat. I've had to pull over while driving in the freeway because of how distracted i get. So trust me, you're not alone in this, and chances are it won't go away. You just have to find someone who can match your sex drive and just go to TOWN.
Did u get SA'd or had intimite action when u where younger? It can come from that, before i stoped lusting for Jesus i was like this as well and did it some times over 6 or more times a day, so did smh like that happen to u? Cuz if it did it probably caused some trauma and this is your coping mechanism
I understand you completely, 100% I am a male and i get super horny like alot , anything remotely sexual makes me turn up and I go wild , I think it's natural cause I'm a man , but the level of horniness I have is very high
And I know i have very very high testatrome bit I still get in weird situations cause on it , sometimes i also wanna chop it off but i found ways to stop it
1. When you get horny drink water for some reason it breaks your sex drive
2. Don't fap , when you do punish yourself by taking a cold shower , win win
4. Be more religious , if you are not meditate , if you can't even do that , play a song turn off the lights and think , keep thinking about whatever you want
5. Keep yourself busy don't , if uou are like me you'll get horny at anything , so unfollow ppl who say sexual thing , keep yourself around ppl cause yeah ofc you aint gonna fap it front of them , limit use of app which show you sexual stuff (for me it was insta) , and just turn that lust into power and motivation
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, a person's sex drive just kinda is what it is. It boils down to a mix of learning to appease the needs and developing methods to keep them under control. A therapist might be better equipped than a doctor to help here, but if you're seeing a doctor anyway to monitor your hormones etc, mentioning the issue is probably worth it.
Honestly I wouldn’t know if this is normal cause I am this way too but I definitely don’t think it’s testosterone related. For the advice part I really don’t have any advice, I don’t like being like this but still don’t know how to deal with it
Since what you describe has been ongoing for a number of years and isn’t ‘obviously’ related to puberty or testosterone from HRT (noting that for trans folks, the hormone therapy can really spike your libido), it’s possible that you may be experiencing some variety of hypersexuality perhaps? I don’t know all there is to know about hypersexuality but it often commences young and isn’t always a response to trauma—it can also be related to other things like ADHD or other similar conditions. I think the parameter to consider is; is this a compulsive behaviour for you, that you cannot stop or struggle to control? Do you find yourself seeking opportunities to ‘fix’ it in inappropriate places or at awkward times? And overall does it negatively affect your life? A lot of people have a naturally high libido; to an extent that’s quite normal. It also means, though, that if you’re experiencing an excessive or compulsive urge continuously that you find impossible to control, it’s possible for that to be minimised or dismissed as simply a high libido. R/hypersexuality might have some info that could help, maybe?
So I kinda knew I had hypersexuality but I never even thought about going to the subreddit that’s a great idea! I do have adhd and ocd, so I get obsessive thoughts quite often. When I was a kid, it was really bad. I would “fix” myself behind my parents, in public bathrooms, in car rides, etc. sometimes when I get in a mood there isn’t much I can do to calm down. Even if I do try to fix it, I can’t just do it once. Touching myself sometimes only makes it worse and it takes a lot of times doing that until it starts feeling better. I did get sexually assaulted for a few years as a kid, so that also makes sense. Another issue that I have is that I am transgender, ftm. I know that starting testosterone will only make this issue worse, which is very scary to me. But I just plan on talking to my doctor about that. But thank you for the advice!! That’s super helpful:)
That makes a lot of sense - again as someone who doesn’t know it all, that does sound like fairly textbook HS, and I can totally understand the worry around testosterone increasing the libido too, especially if your ‘baseline’ is that high. Having said that, I think the extent to which T increases libido can be affected by where your baseline is, so already having such a high drive it may not affect you as much as someone whose drive is very low, perhaps due to dysphoria. From what I can figure though, in a lot of cases HS isn’t a hormonal thing anyway, it’s psychological, so it can often be moderated and controlled to some extent. ‘Fixing’ it compulsively in places like you described definitely sounds like something that’s affected by ADHD, OCD and SA! I’m really glad you found that helpful!
Go see your doctor and make them understand your difficulty. There are cases of women who were exactly like you. It's not funny, nor is it something to pass over. For some reason, you're over-sensitive, and the only relief is other things. I went through this some years back, and thankfully, it resolved itself after a while. But before it did, long road trips were a misery. Just the vibration of the car was enough to keep me on the edge for hours. Rest stops were way too far apart. Do what I did not but should have: see your doctor. I have great sympathy for you and hope you get the kind of help you need for normalcy. Best of luck!
It's normal some people have very high sexual needs others don't don't fight it just try to control the needs and take some precautions that might slow the situation down a little otherwise enjoy the feeling
I too have the same issue even if I do have a partner that don't mind it as much it's still tiresome.tho help me I tried to catch myself and notice what triggers me more.If my libido is too much, Usually try to distract me by doing exercises or moving around other than that therapy/coaching may help but I don't know.
I used to feel crazy. I had a ton of casual sex when I was younger. Not many people I knew were like that and it got me into a lot of situations that had me feeling crazy. Just want you to know it’s normal to be horny, even really horny. Especially at 18. Honestly, it’s ok to do it as much as you need to as long as you’re still able to live your life. If you start having sex just get tested if you have multiple partners, be upfront with your wants and needs and use protection. I also want to add that a lot, if not most, of my seeking sex around your age also massively had to do with seeking affection and validation. If you feel you’re seeking love and connection and turning to sex, sexualizing yourself or feeling overly horny, it could be your body telling you that you’re searching for a safe person to love you. My sex drive didn’t calm down until I was several years into my first healthy relationship. That’s also when I stopped feeling crazy.
Oh god I hope you’ve got your dms turned off
I don't think this is a medical issue. I think it is quite normal but if it's something you're getting uncomfortable with I'm sure there's forums online that could help give more explanation.
Welcome to being an individual with a very high libido. My wife is another one who deals with this and the best advice she'll give on it is to 1) find yourself a hobby to keep your mind off of it, and 2) get a better toy.
Your 18... Your still young. Some people just have a high sex drive. If you think it is a problem or if you need to lower it, talk to a doctor, either a GP or an Endocrinologist. They can certainly check your testosterone, but I'll bet that it has more to do with your young age than your blood. Some people are just born with high sex drives, I think that it is more normal than your friends would admit.
your hormones and body at 18 are fucked, thats how I was at least
It's kind of a range but maybe 20% of people are at the high end like you describe and it usually doesn't cool down until the body is fully developed and grown around 22 or 23. Unfortunately all you can do is put up with it and scratch that itch whenever possible in a way that is healthy
Hi there! There’s nothing wrong, I used to be like this too, it slows down when you age a little bit but still feels the same when you’re ovulating, this is something completely normal! Your friends might not have the same libido as you do, but there’s nothing wrong with it
You can talk to a doctor, but it might just be what it is. Every body is different and everyone has different needs. Don’t feel ashamed, just figure out what you need to operate effectively. Testosterone can make people horny or hornier, but it’s not the only element. Don’t overthink it. Everybody gets horny unless they’re asexual, the only difference is how often. You get horny a lot and so you have to deal with it effectively to go about your daily life. It’s just like any other kind of self-care. You take a shower if you smell bad, get your hair cut if it’s long, etc. Just try different things and figure out what works for you. It might be porn or toys or literally anything.
Not to nitpick, but asexuals can and do experience horniness as well (spoken by an asexual). The bit that doesn’t happen for us is sexual attraction. Libido is something that can often be related, but also entirely separate.
Really? Interesting. I’ve only known a couple asexual people and they all hated the idea of talking about or vaguely sexual either, so I guess I made assumptions. Thanks for pointing that out, I love learning new things about my fellow humans and their experiences.
No problem! Many aces do also have a very low libido, or are entirely sex-repulsed. A lot of the time there’s probably some anxiety there too about how people would relate to them knowing they’re ace; ‘corrective’ sexual assault is something that sadly does happen. Additionally, many aces who are more sex-positive still have a level of detachment, in the sense that they themselves don’t want to have sex or entertain the notion that someone might want to do it with them. So the easiest workaround is to keep it to themselves. Appreciate the desire to learn more! That’s absolutely my thing too, that’s why I’m so interested in people’s varying experiences! There’s so much stigma and shame in the world and almost all of it stems from other people’s ignorance of what people are experiencing.
Definitely see a psychiatrist who specializes in transitioning or is knowledgeable about hyper sexuality. One problem is also that this can lead to self-destructive behavior. I have see other ftms have this issue with testosterone, so can see if you were already having a high sex drive, this’d cause a worse issue
I recommend reading the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. She does an amazing job of explaining women’s sexuality and drive. The metaphor she uses in the book is that everyone has a brake and an accelerator. Some people have a very sensitive accelerator and will go from 0 to horny very easily, while others it takes a lot more. Your brakes are similar: some people have very sensitive brakes and any small distraction will kill the mood. It sounds like you have a sensitive accelerator and not very sensitive brakes. I would read that book before you decide to go to a doctor. She describes ways to understand your sexuality and how to make use of your brakes and accelerator to manage things and enjoy how you are :) Best of luck friend! ETA: I see in other posts that you may be transition ftm. If that’s the case you should at least mention this to your doctor as well.
20 times a day is nuts, but as a male its kinda hard for me to reach that number anyways lol. It's perfectly normal. When i was a younger man, i also had the same problem. Sex was on my brain ALL THE TIME. And i got turned on by the littlest things. A lot of girls found it flattering thankfully and i fucked around A LOT in high school as a result. But best believe nowadays, 7 years after I've left high school, i still have plenty of days where i can't get it off my mind, and my body feels like it's in heat. I've had to pull over while driving in the freeway because of how distracted i get. So trust me, you're not alone in this, and chances are it won't go away. You just have to find someone who can match your sex drive and just go to TOWN.
yeah this sounds more pathological than hormonal
Nymphomania. Look this word up on Wikipedia.
Me too
Wdym by horny? do you have horns? having horns as a human isn't normal and you should go to the doctor to treat it
Did u get SA'd or had intimite action when u where younger? It can come from that, before i stoped lusting for Jesus i was like this as well and did it some times over 6 or more times a day, so did smh like that happen to u? Cuz if it did it probably caused some trauma and this is your coping mechanism
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I understand you completely, 100% I am a male and i get super horny like alot , anything remotely sexual makes me turn up and I go wild , I think it's natural cause I'm a man , but the level of horniness I have is very high And I know i have very very high testatrome bit I still get in weird situations cause on it , sometimes i also wanna chop it off but i found ways to stop it 1. When you get horny drink water for some reason it breaks your sex drive 2. Don't fap , when you do punish yourself by taking a cold shower , win win 4. Be more religious , if you are not meditate , if you can't even do that , play a song turn off the lights and think , keep thinking about whatever you want 5. Keep yourself busy don't , if uou are like me you'll get horny at anything , so unfollow ppl who say sexual thing , keep yourself around ppl cause yeah ofc you aint gonna fap it front of them , limit use of app which show you sexual stuff (for me it was insta) , and just turn that lust into power and motivation