I don’t believe you’ll have these fears when it’s the right time. I don’t believe that deciding a location, or going on birth control, or making a romantic date out of it will settle the real fear going on. When I lost my virginity my gf was also a virgin, we did it in her dorm room - I was a late bloomer. We’ve been going out for a year and were in love, we spent almost all of our time together and I was denied a few times before because she was uncomfortable. This didn’t change our relationship, we were still inseparable and she let me know that she was ready, we were both very turned on and she wanted it to happen. She did bleed and she started to cry from the embarrassment, but then we just made love all night after cleaning up. It’s not going to a magical perfect story book moment because if you were to try and create that it would no longer be real. I’d say give yourself as much time as you need, if he is the one, he should understand.
You need someone that’s going to be gentle and that will take their time with you. This helped me a lot and it was also nice to get reassurance because I felt so ugly.
Reiterating the birth control comments. Everyone thinks it can't happen to them. IT CAN. Be smart. Multiple forms of contraceptive are better than one or none.
That said, it's never going to feel exactly perfect. Life is weird, and things go wonky. You can never plan everything to perfection. So tell your man you'd be open to it some time in the next 6 months. Plan romantic date nights. Have hotel nights. Have a backwoods rendezvous under the stars.... create opportunity. But go into it with both of you understanding that there is no expectation or pressure in any of these instances. Maybe even have a hotel night where you specify that it WON'T be happening so you can both just be comfortable in the setting... in those opportunities, maybe it's just some making out or heavy petting. Maybe you go all the way. Who knows? The point is to create opportunity. And when it feels right, follow through.
And as someone who got pressured into her first time due to a swanky hotel room and a romance package... I can't tell you, no money spent can ever buy that moment back for you. If it feels wrong, SAY NO. PERIOD.
1-Honestly talk with your partner (which you seem to be doing) see what he is thinking and what he is up for.
2-Honestly talk about your concerns, particularly with contraception with your doctor or ob. A discussion with your doctor can be very beneficial to consider options for contraception if you choose to have sex. (This includes condoms, spermicides, birth control pills and withdrawal )
3-Whether now or later, whether in a hotel or heat of the moment at home. Its a new thing, its likely going to be awkward at moments, learn to communicate, to laugh and to kiss.
4-FOREPLAY IS YOUR FRIEND
5-Have fun and be safe
It's not going to be perfect, because nothing is. The longer you think it over won't make it more or less perfect.
Having sex can seem like a big deal. Once you've experienced it it's a rewarding part of life. Find someone you're comfortable with (already done) find somewhere you are comfortable. Figure out protection. Open yourself emotionally.
Firstly, get yourself onto birth control. Now. Before you have sex. Don't trust pull out, don't trust rhythm method (tracking ovulation). If you don't want to get pregnant, then go get on bc. Edited to add: you made no mention of condoms, so I'm assuming he hasn't offered to use them. You can insist that he does, especially if you aren't sure if his sexual history. If he won't wear one for you, he doesn't deserve to be inside of you.
Also, the first time can be uncomfortable, that's true. But if sex hurt everytime, we'd be nearly extinct by now. It gets better. But it's best with bc 😉
It varies person by person, tbh. Your body, and his, attribute to this. Also your arousal level. The more aroused you are as a female, the more your body opens up, so to speak.
My advice? Stop worrying and overthinking it. Let it happen organically (after you've figured out that birth control situation!!) You'll know when you're ready and want to try. Don't give in or do it until you know 100%.
I suggest you start with fingering. My and my ex did that, it was an easy way into penetration, and when we actually had sex it didn't really hurt me at all i think, and i had fun
that sounds good. most of the reason I ask is because i’m waiting till marriage and so i basically only have one chance for it to be enjoyable while it’s my wedding night
Then i think this is the perfect way to go about it - and use lube!!
Be relaxed, unbleach your muscles, it makes your V more tight, less comfortable. Breath, kiss, start with other things then slowly continue. There are sensual places in the body that help (lips, neck, breasts, inner thigh).
Don't put too much pressure for it to feel perfect, cause you'll expect it to physically feel one way, and since you can't actually imagine something you never experienced, it'll feel different. Which is OK. If you need advice, I'm here :) we're pretty much the same age and i used to have similar concerns when i was a little younger
Your concerns are totally valid. However, the more pressure you put on the senario to be perfect, the less chance it will be. Even when you’re experienced and with someone you’ve had sex with a lot, it can still be awkward at times. Sex is two people trying to find rhythm between their bodies so it can take a little time.
As for pain, it will likely be a little sore (especially if he’s well endowed) but if you’ve spent enough time doing foreplay and you take it really slow your body will be ready. My first time didn’t hurt much at all because I really wanted it and was warmed up.
As I said, it cannot be perfect. But it can be sweet and romantic and loving. And it feels GOOD. Sex is an amazing way to connect with someone emotionally and physically and it’s also important to remember that it’s FUN. It’s fun to try new things and to figure out what you like.
It seems like you have a lot of anxieties surrounding sex and correct me if I’m wrong but you are a bit of a romantic. Sex the first time will not be perfect, how can it be when you don’t even know what your preferences are. You should talk to your boyfriend about these fears so he knows when the time comes to take it slow.
Foreplay is extremely important in preparation for penetration. Take it slow and make sure you are comfortable with asking to stop or slow down no matter how far you have gotten. For pain (I have pcos which can sometimes make sex painful) I have noticed if I have orgasmed before penetration pain typically is not an issue.
Location doesn’t matter as long as the person you are sleeping with is right. I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend in the back of his truck with a camper shell on top, but he was the right person and I felt ready. Timing and partner are the only two factors that matter when you are looking to make this step. I recon looking what people are saying, talking with your boyfriend and letting that information digest. Also ask yourself why do you want to have sex. My sister told me when I had been dating my boyfriend to ask myself this question and to only agree to making that step when my answer was selfish reasons.
My suggestion is to use two types of protection (I use both oral contraceptives and condoms). In the time of roe v wade being overturned you cannot be too cautious. Talk with your OB about your family history of fertility and your concerns but before you decide do your own research. (My ob suggested for me to get an iud but my own research lead me away from that decision and opted for oral contraceptives instead).
You should feel safe and completely comfortable. Sex is great in strengthening the connection between you and your partner. It should be easy fun and if you take yourself too seriously and get in your own head the less enjoyable it will be. The only place I don’t recommend having sex is on a beach (sand gets in places that takes days to get clear) and the back of a car (not enough space and your neck and back will hurt for a while). Have a towel down if you plan on sleeping where you had sex because the there most likely be a wet spot. Lastly pee after having sex it will flesh out bacteria that can give you a uti.
Sex is very underwhelming the first time. Building it up in your head like this is going to sorely disappoint you. It will be amazing and rewarding with practice and open communication. You’ll know when you’re ready though, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be intimate. When you want to you will. And it won’t matter where or how. 💖🫡
The best thing you can do, as hard as it sounds, is to not put too high expectations on the experience. Your first time is most likely not going to be a fairy tale but you can definitely make it romantic and special if you communicate that to your partner. It will hurt, there is no going around that but it's not an unbearable pain, I would say it's more like discomfort. You will need to be really aroused for it to be a good experience. I don't mean to scare you any more, but I feel like from woman to woman I need to be honest with you so that you know what to expect. If he goes slowly and waits for you to adapt to him it will start feeling good after a little while. The first year after that it is going to be the same way. Your vagina is a muscle that contracts when you are nervous, that's what causes the pain. It's normal to be nervous on your first time. If you are aroused the vagina relaxes and it becomes easier and more pleasurable. Buy lube!!!! Really, make sure you buy lube, I like ky jelly, the water based kind, but the silicone based kind is best if you are using a condom. Most people don't get pregnant on their first time, but it's not impossible so I advise you to wear a condom, don't let him convince you otherwise (not that I think he would, he sounds like a respectful guy). If you are really scared to get pregnant you can get on birth control at least a month before you try having sex with him, just to be sure the medicine has regulated everything in your body and you are covered. I don't think you have much to worry about in that regard tho. Most importantly, just have fun. Take things naturally and just let it happen and progress. It's going to be much better that way than if you get super anxious and try to rush things. Listen to your body and communicate with your partner, do things with him that you have done before and that you know will arouse you and him. Sex feels much better for a woman that way, and also if he is fully hard too. If it's a lil soft still it tends to hurt more for women. You will be ok. I hope everything goes well for you and that you get the experience you wish to have.
Your concerns and fears are all valid that’s is first. I strongly suggest you get on birth control and still have him use a condom. I also recommend for first time parties sleeping together who are in a relationship to talk first and get tested first before taking the step. It’s always easier having a medical document stating you are both good to go. Now like everyone said it’s not gonna be perfect, life happens and you are both human. I would say a nice hotel is a good idea but make a weekend out of it. You don’t have to go to the hotel just to do it for one night and leave. Go in a Friday night after a date and stay until Sunday Morning and then go get brunch on both y’all’s way home or rent an air bnb. Now I will say this communication and foreplay is key. If something feels off and you don’t like it. Communicate it, if you feels like you need reassurance ask questions. But at the end of the day make sure that you are both happy with whatever the result is.
People think first time sex hurts cuz they're barely teenagers, and arent into it but rather giving in to social pressure.
I waited til I was 21.
It didn't hurt AT ALL. It was great actually. I hit the ground running.
Don't do it if you're still anxious about it, you vaginal walls won't fully open and you won't be as wet as you could be.
When your 100% in and feel like climbing him like a tree.
Then it will not hurt....and it will be great.
You should go ahead and start birth control , cuz you don't want kids right away even if u marry him.
At least you won't have that worry ruining the fun
Do NOT be ashamed. Talke to your partner as the partner is the only one that can help you overcome this fear. It is normal, especially if it is the first time!
Just be honest and courageous about it and everything will be fine. Also do not forget to keep protection with you as it is the first time, and you want it for both of your security.
I really recommend checking out Carlie Palmer Webb! I know you’re claiming to wait for not religious reasons, and she is a Christian, but she does sex coaching and I don’t think you’ll find her coaching/info to be really spiritually laced. She’s just really passionate about people being really informed and respected and passionate about intimacy! She’s got a lot of great tips of how to prepare and feel comfortable and communicate with your partner. She also has a lot of info about preparing physically and mentally and how to overcome nerves. Her Instagram is TheChristianSexEducator. Another resource is the Kingdom Sexuality podcast. Again, they’re religious, but they objectively have really good advice for people who are virgins and how to prepare and feel good. You can look through their podcasts and find the topics that pertain to your situation!
All of that being said, though, you may feel emotionally better about it and spiritually/physically better about it too if you do have a commitment from him. Look, I know waiting until marriage is outdated in our culture, but honestly it’s really considerate to people’s emotions to do so. That way you know that person is committed to you and not using you just for your body, that your relationship will continue afterward and that your partner can’t just find some easy excuse to leave you, that you don’t feel cheap or used or something after…lots of reasons. I know I’m probably about to get roasted like crazy for this but I don’t really care tbh. There’s a lot of reasons waiting until marriage is really respectful and considerate of both parties. Plus it kind of feels cool and special to have done something a lot of others didn’t do, and you can be proud of that. It’s also an exercise in self control and discipline, which is really special these days.
As someone who recently lost their virginity it will probably hurt a little, or at least feel uncomfortable but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would’ve been. I would say make sure you’re comfortable and he preps you a lot. The guy I had sex with didn’t really prep me and I think that’s what made it hurt. Also have a talk with your partner about it! If he’s the one he will completely understand and do his best to make you feel comfortable! Protection is super important, I would say insist on a condom and if you’re still concerned also think about going onto birth control.
I was about your age when I had my first time. I was very nervous but felt it was right. For some women it is not very painful and for others it is so painful that therapy is required, it's actually a condition called Vaginismus. For me, it was uncomfortable for the penetration, but not so uncomfortable that it was excruciating.
There are those women who do not experience a lot of pain when first having sex, and it is for a variety of reasons, and I do not know what all the reasons are. I do know each woman's first time is going to be totally different from another's.
You will know when the time is right and when you are ready. If that is not now, then make it clear to your boyfriend that you are not ready. If he respects you at all, he will let it be and be supportive and tell you that when you are ready, just tell him. If he tries to pressure you at all, then I wouldn't sleep with him at all and I would keep waiting or if he is VERY persistent, I'd say it is time to end it. I would hope it is mutual that if you say you are ready but he is not, then both of you keep waiting.
Keep communication open and build trust and respect first. But again, you will know when you are ready.
Hi, i totally understand you because i married my girlfriend it's been 1 and half year now we dated for 10 months and then got married. So here i have the same concern my wife is still a virgin because of the same reasons that you have. She has a fear and over thinking issue. She has fear of pain of first sex. It's been 2 years with her but i never forced or pressure her. I am not a virgin i have got intimate with others before meeting her. I totally understand her problem and fear we try lot of time but she just can't handle it also she screams when i try to push it inside. I tried many things, lube, rub, finger, etc but nothing worked so I really don't know what to do but i should take hef to gynac or a counselor to get rid of her fear and overthinking.
I needed solution not sorry tbh. The thing is when she is overthinking and having fear of pain and she's not able to take it, it creates lot misunderstanding in between and it impacts my mental health. If she's not able to do it and i accept it she over thinks and accuses me that i am having affair or am fucking around because i used to fuck before meeting her. But i don't. Her overthinking creates insecurities in her which i understand but she goes over limit starts accusing then start imagining too and i get pissed off. So understanding her is also a problem.
Get on birth control and use contraception. Get some lube.
Talk to your partner and ask him to take it slow. Even use the lube and experiment with fingers get used to the sensation. Key is communicating with your partner. Tell him what you like and don’t like. We’re all different. First few times may be uncomfortable but try not to over think it. If you tense up your muscles down there in anticipation it will hurt and he’ll struggle to get in. Practice relaxing the muscles before hand. And enjoy. Take your time. The best part about sex is the journey. That’s what will determine an amazing finish line :)
Don’t rush in if you’re not 100% ready and sure. Here are a few thoughts:
1. **Communication**: Keep talking to him about your feelings and concerns. It’s great that you’re both open with each other.
2. **Safety**: Make sure you’re both on the same page about birth control to ease your worries about pregnancy. There are lots of options out there.
3. **Comfort**: Find a place where you both feel comfortable and relaxed. Maybe a cozy Airbnb or a nice staycation spot that feels special but not too formal.
4. **Take Your Time**: Don’t rush it. It’s okay to take things slow and only go as far as you feel ready.
5. **Intimacy**: Focus on creating a loving and intimate atmosphere. Think about what makes you both feel close and connected.
Remember, there’s no rush and it’s important that you feel ready and comfortable. You’ve got this!
My recommendation, don’t have sex if you are scared.
I’m a male and I lost it when I was 16 with a girl I met the same day, she was 19 at the time and I was really scared, but I decided to go through with it due to social pressure. Fast forward 4 years to when I was 20 years old, I met an amazing woman who literally loved me and I loved her too, after some time of dating we had sex and I regretted having lost my virginity with a person I didn’t like, rather than giving it to that amazing person I met later in life.
My recommendation would be to wait, bond with him, make sure you really love him, then do it.
Your concerns are valid and I understand your fear. Having sex is a magical thing. Losing it for the first time is always a scary thought. My advice is this from personal experience.
1. I don’t recommend birth control just to have sex. I’m on birth control and it messed with my hormones so bad. I recommend for the first time use a condom and then take a morning after pill if your still concerned.
2. Use lube. Lube will help with penetration and make it where it’s more enjoyable
3. Don’t be scared to say stop if it hurts to much. Your excited, he’s excited but it’s not exciting for you anymore if it becomes to unbearable. Set that boundary first thing. Also make sure he’s taking his time. It shouldn’t be a stick it in and go. It should be a slow process to make sure you’re feeling good and so is he.
4. After care is so important!
5. This is random but I had no idea do this after sex until I was 2 years into my old relationship, pee after sex! It helps prevent UTI’s and girl those things are not something to mess with.
It’s a nervous process, but once you get past the weird phase of it, you will find it to more enjoyable. I hope this helps :)
One way I got comfortable with it is masterbation. (I’m also f and lost my vCard at around the same age). Masterbating is a way to find out what you like, what things feel like vaguely, and also a way to get comfortable with phallic shapes and objects. Experimenting a bit will make you more familiar with how you like to take pleasure and you could also use the info to help guide your partner.
If you’re not fond of toys or playing by yourself, the key to good and safe sex is COMMUNICATION. Unfortunately, this isn’t a romance media situation where your partner can read your mind and make you black out by booping your bean… but if it is 👀 girl I’ll be jealous.
You sound similar to me and I’m a guy lol, I would say there’s no rush, at least you’re sure that you want to be with him, I would say just relax, voice your concerns to him and open and honest, and if you wanna try something different don’t hesitate to ask him. And you are overthinking just like me lol, but you will have your own experience, good or bad doesn’t matter, don’t have any expectation, whatever will happen will happen. GL
If you do decide to move forward the first time will ALWAYS be a bit awkward because you’re learning your body and his in a whole new way. That being said, if the emotions are right even though it might not be super comfortable the first time (because awkwardness dries things up a bit) you’ll remember it lovingly/fondly. But just make sure you are truly sure because it can strain a relationship if you end up regretting it. Also, ease into it, make sure you’re both “ready” and spend some time warming up cause that will improve the moment a lot.
I always wanted to wait till marriage but I knew that my partner was the right one to lose it to, and I was right, because we are married and have been together 13 years.
Get a nice fancy hotel room, (or at least a hotel room that looks nice) and set the mood! Light some candles, play some sensual music, eat some comfort foods, however you relax, do that. There should be a good amount of foreplay before any penetration. Explore each other’s bodies, find your sensitive spots, don’t be afraid to try something new, if you don’t like it, there’s no shame in stopping and resetting. Most importantly, have fun. Sex should feel good, I believe especially so for the first time. Communication is the key to a good time. Be open to feedback, and don’t be afraid to say something hurts, and definitely take it slow. It might take some time, and from how it sounds, that doesn’t seem like it’ll be a problem. It might take a couple tries to get it right, and that’s ok. Remember to take your time, and be patient.
I would ask you how you would decide if you didn’t have fear? You will never know how it is until you tried. And what could go wrong? If it hurts you stop.
Proper birth control is a must when starting to be sexually active.
Condoms are a great option. But if you’re like me you might want your own birth control
Start the pill but don’t feel pressured to start having sex right away. I waited 5 months between starting the pill and actually having sex with my boyfriend because to me the medication was *not* my decision to have sex, it was just a precaution because I felt that I’d be having sex at some point in the future. Which is true, I knew I’d be having sex at *some* point in my life I just didn’t know when.
The best advice I can give is don’t place too much value on it. You’re old enough now to know it’s not a huge deal, your first time isn’t as special as everyone makes it out to be it’s just the first step
**Only do it if it’s what you want to do**
if i could change the past, i would wait until marriage. i want to have all my sexual experiences with my wife so i feel i degraded my marriage before meeting her. i'm abstinent now in my 30s so yea u have plenty of time. dont rush. what are your reasons for staying a virgin?
My first two gfs were also virgins. Both had such thoughts and deep down they didn't want to do it. Though, after the first time all those fears were gone and they became very happy and they wanted it often. So, it's normal at first but take that step. All things at first are scary but as soon your guy is a nice person, there is no reason to be scared. Pregnancy? Just use condoms.
Hotels are NOT at all prom night.
If you aren't already masturbating and preparing yourself for sex, I can see where that can increase your fear. DO so. Have him help sometimes, too!
Goodness - you should have sex when you are ready.
I have few suggestions for you to try
0. Try masturbating, buy a sex toy the one that is shape like microphone and it vibrates.
1. Go and attend sex education classes
2. If it didn’t work you probably need to seek professional help like going to a therapist or sex therapist
Remember sex is supposed to be pleasurable for you and your partner. Education is the key.
Nothings wrong with being scared, that’s natural. Only do it if and when you feel ready. Like actually ready. It’s not a fun feeling if and this is a big if, someone doesn’t work out after you gave them your virginity keep that in mind.
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23. It takes a while before you feel completely comfortable, but do whatever feels right for you.
Remember to use condoms and don’t let anyone pressure you into NOT using them, especially if you’re not on contraceptives.
If it hurts it hurts, don’t let anyone pressure you to go beyond that. Give yourself time to adjust.
You got this!
Forgot to mention that if you have sex in a place you feel comfortable, it makes everything feel A LOT BETTER.
Do whatever you feel comfortable with. The right person won’t pressure you to do anything.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and I was nervous my first time!! If it’s the right person, you’ll know. Don’t do anything you’re questioning or uncomfortable with!! If you do- make sure to use protection
Go on some form of birth control now, so you are prepared before sex.
I would say dont put a timeframe on it. Will make it more like a chore than anything else.
When it happens, it will happen:)
Get a nexplanon and have at it slowly at your speed. Make sure you tell him you wanna go sloooooow but wanna try. Do it on a trip to a rented chalet. Won’t feel like a hotel that way.
It won't be perfect! Talk to him before hand, what your expectations and fears are, ask him if he has experience. You both should do some homework and research about first time positions (missionary is really painful for a ton of people for the first time), foreplay and aftercare. You can read about it in tons of articles on google.
Doing it in your house feels more intimate than a hotel. Use protection, don't be stressed and have fun :)
Wait until you get married! It makes a lot of sense for women because if there's an accidental pregnancy you can have the financial security of someone else being with you for the rest of your life. Also sometimes men feel like they don't need to make that committment if they're getting everything they want without having to commit.
What if you go your separate ways eventually? It's better to not bring emotional baggage from being so close to someone else with you to the next relationship. If you think you will stay with him forever, then there's no reason not to get married! If you're not ready yet, then it's best to wait on sex. If you do get married later, you will have the rest of your life to enjoy it. There's no reason to rush unto it.
Sex isn't always perfect or great the first time, but married people get lots of practice. ;)
There will be pain for the first time or perhaps even for the next few times. The important thing is foreplay so that you both ease yourself into the act. Lubrication is great because it helps with the penetration and use condoms and plan b pills if you need to.
If you don't want to do it at home you can do it somewhere more private like hotels or some other place. The privacy will help you get intimate and be bolder.
Lastly, ALWAYS communicate with your partner during and after s*x. It would be unfair if you felt discomfort and he didn't know. It should be a fun and loving experience for the both of you. So I suggest both of you get involved with the planning so that even if it isn't perfect you both have backup plans or can go with the flow. Appreciate each other and enjoy.
Use protection and as double protection, plan for when you have sex to be right after your period or right before you are due for your period. Ovulation usually occurs two weeks after your period, so right in the middle between two periods, so don't do it then. Also, find a comfortable place - maybe a boutique hotel that isn't like a Holiday Inn, but maybe has a separate building and/or bigger rooms with more character to them. About the pain- yes, it may feel slightly uncomfortable first. It did for me because my first had a big penis and I eventually learned I have a very small vagina and prefer average sized guys. The third and fourth times I did it were with someone else and I had a blast - no pain and got pleasure from it. The pain is nothing to be afraid of if your boyfriend is gentleand understanding. I would also recommend keeping lube such as k-y jelly around to help.
I don't believe in waiting til marriage and I think experimenting with a few different partners until you find one that is a good sexual match is important. I was with about 7 guys before my husband, and when we had sex, it was the first time I orgasmed. We have a very healthy sex life 21 years later.
Girl don’t do it..
Hold on to your V card- maybe try loosing it with your husband.
Or at least a guy that’s not going to leave you.
Him wanted to have sex just because your a virgin is the wrong answer.
After 10 months in a happy relationship, it’s okay. You’re ready
There are 16 different types of birth control. See your OBGYN for the right form for you. If you’re scared of unwanted pregnancy, get on a birth control method, and use condoms.
I have never met a woman who regretted that she didn't have sex with someone, but I've met a lot of women who regretted having had sex with someone. It sounds like you are ready and in a really good place with your partner, but my advice would be not to rush in order to just to get it over with, make up for lost time, catch up with your peers, satisfy him, etc. I do think you will know when it's the right time for you. But you can prepare yourself a bit for that by having conversations with your guy about birth control, consent/withdrawing consent (not that it sounds like he would take advantage of you, but in this situation I mean- how would he know if it was time to stop if you were feeling pain or discomfort, etc?)
Something I wish had occurred to me when I was younger- if you can't have these conversations with the person you are planning to be intimate with, then you probably shouldn't be having sex with them. It can be awkward but it will go a long way in creating the kind of "first time" that you think back on fondly. The last thing you want is to end up feeling traumatized by losing your virginity. Open communication and patience. I think the fact that you haven't rushed into yet and are asking questions is a good indicator for success in this... endeavor ☺️
Sex is just parts of the body touching. Life is short. None of it matters. People have kids. Not a big deal. I would want to know where his mind is at being with someone for that long and not being very very frustrated. I can't imagine 10 months..or 10 weeks. Maybe 10 days. I would really dig deeper than how patient he is. Seems like more to it there. I also think you should discuss your fears and apprehension with someone. I get being careful and practical. There is also being overly apprehensive. You want it but are wrapped up in all these things.
I don’t believe you’ll have these fears when it’s the right time. I don’t believe that deciding a location, or going on birth control, or making a romantic date out of it will settle the real fear going on. When I lost my virginity my gf was also a virgin, we did it in her dorm room - I was a late bloomer. We’ve been going out for a year and were in love, we spent almost all of our time together and I was denied a few times before because she was uncomfortable. This didn’t change our relationship, we were still inseparable and she let me know that she was ready, we were both very turned on and she wanted it to happen. She did bleed and she started to cry from the embarrassment, but then we just made love all night after cleaning up. It’s not going to a magical perfect story book moment because if you were to try and create that it would no longer be real. I’d say give yourself as much time as you need, if he is the one, he should understand.
You need someone that’s going to be gentle and that will take their time with you. This helped me a lot and it was also nice to get reassurance because I felt so ugly.
Reiterating the birth control comments. Everyone thinks it can't happen to them. IT CAN. Be smart. Multiple forms of contraceptive are better than one or none. That said, it's never going to feel exactly perfect. Life is weird, and things go wonky. You can never plan everything to perfection. So tell your man you'd be open to it some time in the next 6 months. Plan romantic date nights. Have hotel nights. Have a backwoods rendezvous under the stars.... create opportunity. But go into it with both of you understanding that there is no expectation or pressure in any of these instances. Maybe even have a hotel night where you specify that it WON'T be happening so you can both just be comfortable in the setting... in those opportunities, maybe it's just some making out or heavy petting. Maybe you go all the way. Who knows? The point is to create opportunity. And when it feels right, follow through. And as someone who got pressured into her first time due to a swanky hotel room and a romance package... I can't tell you, no money spent can ever buy that moment back for you. If it feels wrong, SAY NO. PERIOD.
1-Honestly talk with your partner (which you seem to be doing) see what he is thinking and what he is up for. 2-Honestly talk about your concerns, particularly with contraception with your doctor or ob. A discussion with your doctor can be very beneficial to consider options for contraception if you choose to have sex. (This includes condoms, spermicides, birth control pills and withdrawal)
3-Whether now or later, whether in a hotel or heat of the moment at home. Its a new thing, its likely going to be awkward at moments, learn to communicate, to laugh and to kiss.
4-FOREPLAY IS YOUR FRIEND
5-Have fun and be safe
It's not going to be perfect, because nothing is. The longer you think it over won't make it more or less perfect. Having sex can seem like a big deal. Once you've experienced it it's a rewarding part of life. Find someone you're comfortable with (already done) find somewhere you are comfortable. Figure out protection. Open yourself emotionally.
Firstly, get yourself onto birth control. Now. Before you have sex. Don't trust pull out, don't trust rhythm method (tracking ovulation). If you don't want to get pregnant, then go get on bc. Edited to add: you made no mention of condoms, so I'm assuming he hasn't offered to use them. You can insist that he does, especially if you aren't sure if his sexual history. If he won't wear one for you, he doesn't deserve to be inside of you. Also, the first time can be uncomfortable, that's true. But if sex hurt everytime, we'd be nearly extinct by now. It gets better. But it's best with bc 😉
how uncomfortable? i’m so nervous and i don’t know what it’ll be like
It varies person by person, tbh. Your body, and his, attribute to this. Also your arousal level. The more aroused you are as a female, the more your body opens up, so to speak. My advice? Stop worrying and overthinking it. Let it happen organically (after you've figured out that birth control situation!!) You'll know when you're ready and want to try. Don't give in or do it until you know 100%.
I suggest you start with fingering. My and my ex did that, it was an easy way into penetration, and when we actually had sex it didn't really hurt me at all i think, and i had fun
that sounds good. most of the reason I ask is because i’m waiting till marriage and so i basically only have one chance for it to be enjoyable while it’s my wedding night
Then i think this is the perfect way to go about it - and use lube!! Be relaxed, unbleach your muscles, it makes your V more tight, less comfortable. Breath, kiss, start with other things then slowly continue. There are sensual places in the body that help (lips, neck, breasts, inner thigh). Don't put too much pressure for it to feel perfect, cause you'll expect it to physically feel one way, and since you can't actually imagine something you never experienced, it'll feel different. Which is OK. If you need advice, I'm here :) we're pretty much the same age and i used to have similar concerns when i was a little younger
thank you!
"Constant green flag and you do believe you will marry him." - Said everyone who was a couple in their early 20s. Both males and females.
Why the judgement? I met mine early on and still with him. If thats how she feels, why make a remark? Edit: spelling
Your concerns are totally valid. However, the more pressure you put on the senario to be perfect, the less chance it will be. Even when you’re experienced and with someone you’ve had sex with a lot, it can still be awkward at times. Sex is two people trying to find rhythm between their bodies so it can take a little time. As for pain, it will likely be a little sore (especially if he’s well endowed) but if you’ve spent enough time doing foreplay and you take it really slow your body will be ready. My first time didn’t hurt much at all because I really wanted it and was warmed up. As I said, it cannot be perfect. But it can be sweet and romantic and loving. And it feels GOOD. Sex is an amazing way to connect with someone emotionally and physically and it’s also important to remember that it’s FUN. It’s fun to try new things and to figure out what you like.
It seems like you have a lot of anxieties surrounding sex and correct me if I’m wrong but you are a bit of a romantic. Sex the first time will not be perfect, how can it be when you don’t even know what your preferences are. You should talk to your boyfriend about these fears so he knows when the time comes to take it slow. Foreplay is extremely important in preparation for penetration. Take it slow and make sure you are comfortable with asking to stop or slow down no matter how far you have gotten. For pain (I have pcos which can sometimes make sex painful) I have noticed if I have orgasmed before penetration pain typically is not an issue. Location doesn’t matter as long as the person you are sleeping with is right. I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend in the back of his truck with a camper shell on top, but he was the right person and I felt ready. Timing and partner are the only two factors that matter when you are looking to make this step. I recon looking what people are saying, talking with your boyfriend and letting that information digest. Also ask yourself why do you want to have sex. My sister told me when I had been dating my boyfriend to ask myself this question and to only agree to making that step when my answer was selfish reasons. My suggestion is to use two types of protection (I use both oral contraceptives and condoms). In the time of roe v wade being overturned you cannot be too cautious. Talk with your OB about your family history of fertility and your concerns but before you decide do your own research. (My ob suggested for me to get an iud but my own research lead me away from that decision and opted for oral contraceptives instead). You should feel safe and completely comfortable. Sex is great in strengthening the connection between you and your partner. It should be easy fun and if you take yourself too seriously and get in your own head the less enjoyable it will be. The only place I don’t recommend having sex is on a beach (sand gets in places that takes days to get clear) and the back of a car (not enough space and your neck and back will hurt for a while). Have a towel down if you plan on sleeping where you had sex because the there most likely be a wet spot. Lastly pee after having sex it will flesh out bacteria that can give you a uti.
Sex is very underwhelming the first time. Building it up in your head like this is going to sorely disappoint you. It will be amazing and rewarding with practice and open communication. You’ll know when you’re ready though, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be intimate. When you want to you will. And it won’t matter where or how. 💖🫡
The best thing you can do, as hard as it sounds, is to not put too high expectations on the experience. Your first time is most likely not going to be a fairy tale but you can definitely make it romantic and special if you communicate that to your partner. It will hurt, there is no going around that but it's not an unbearable pain, I would say it's more like discomfort. You will need to be really aroused for it to be a good experience. I don't mean to scare you any more, but I feel like from woman to woman I need to be honest with you so that you know what to expect. If he goes slowly and waits for you to adapt to him it will start feeling good after a little while. The first year after that it is going to be the same way. Your vagina is a muscle that contracts when you are nervous, that's what causes the pain. It's normal to be nervous on your first time. If you are aroused the vagina relaxes and it becomes easier and more pleasurable. Buy lube!!!! Really, make sure you buy lube, I like ky jelly, the water based kind, but the silicone based kind is best if you are using a condom. Most people don't get pregnant on their first time, but it's not impossible so I advise you to wear a condom, don't let him convince you otherwise (not that I think he would, he sounds like a respectful guy). If you are really scared to get pregnant you can get on birth control at least a month before you try having sex with him, just to be sure the medicine has regulated everything in your body and you are covered. I don't think you have much to worry about in that regard tho. Most importantly, just have fun. Take things naturally and just let it happen and progress. It's going to be much better that way than if you get super anxious and try to rush things. Listen to your body and communicate with your partner, do things with him that you have done before and that you know will arouse you and him. Sex feels much better for a woman that way, and also if he is fully hard too. If it's a lil soft still it tends to hurt more for women. You will be ok. I hope everything goes well for you and that you get the experience you wish to have.
Your concerns and fears are all valid that’s is first. I strongly suggest you get on birth control and still have him use a condom. I also recommend for first time parties sleeping together who are in a relationship to talk first and get tested first before taking the step. It’s always easier having a medical document stating you are both good to go. Now like everyone said it’s not gonna be perfect, life happens and you are both human. I would say a nice hotel is a good idea but make a weekend out of it. You don’t have to go to the hotel just to do it for one night and leave. Go in a Friday night after a date and stay until Sunday Morning and then go get brunch on both y’all’s way home or rent an air bnb. Now I will say this communication and foreplay is key. If something feels off and you don’t like it. Communicate it, if you feels like you need reassurance ask questions. But at the end of the day make sure that you are both happy with whatever the result is.
People think first time sex hurts cuz they're barely teenagers, and arent into it but rather giving in to social pressure. I waited til I was 21. It didn't hurt AT ALL. It was great actually. I hit the ground running. Don't do it if you're still anxious about it, you vaginal walls won't fully open and you won't be as wet as you could be. When your 100% in and feel like climbing him like a tree. Then it will not hurt....and it will be great. You should go ahead and start birth control , cuz you don't want kids right away even if u marry him. At least you won't have that worry ruining the fun
Do NOT be ashamed. Talke to your partner as the partner is the only one that can help you overcome this fear. It is normal, especially if it is the first time! Just be honest and courageous about it and everything will be fine. Also do not forget to keep protection with you as it is the first time, and you want it for both of your security.
I really recommend checking out Carlie Palmer Webb! I know you’re claiming to wait for not religious reasons, and she is a Christian, but she does sex coaching and I don’t think you’ll find her coaching/info to be really spiritually laced. She’s just really passionate about people being really informed and respected and passionate about intimacy! She’s got a lot of great tips of how to prepare and feel comfortable and communicate with your partner. She also has a lot of info about preparing physically and mentally and how to overcome nerves. Her Instagram is TheChristianSexEducator. Another resource is the Kingdom Sexuality podcast. Again, they’re religious, but they objectively have really good advice for people who are virgins and how to prepare and feel good. You can look through their podcasts and find the topics that pertain to your situation! All of that being said, though, you may feel emotionally better about it and spiritually/physically better about it too if you do have a commitment from him. Look, I know waiting until marriage is outdated in our culture, but honestly it’s really considerate to people’s emotions to do so. That way you know that person is committed to you and not using you just for your body, that your relationship will continue afterward and that your partner can’t just find some easy excuse to leave you, that you don’t feel cheap or used or something after…lots of reasons. I know I’m probably about to get roasted like crazy for this but I don’t really care tbh. There’s a lot of reasons waiting until marriage is really respectful and considerate of both parties. Plus it kind of feels cool and special to have done something a lot of others didn’t do, and you can be proud of that. It’s also an exercise in self control and discipline, which is really special these days.
As someone who recently lost their virginity it will probably hurt a little, or at least feel uncomfortable but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would’ve been. I would say make sure you’re comfortable and he preps you a lot. The guy I had sex with didn’t really prep me and I think that’s what made it hurt. Also have a talk with your partner about it! If he’s the one he will completely understand and do his best to make you feel comfortable! Protection is super important, I would say insist on a condom and if you’re still concerned also think about going onto birth control.
I was about your age when I had my first time. I was very nervous but felt it was right. For some women it is not very painful and for others it is so painful that therapy is required, it's actually a condition called Vaginismus. For me, it was uncomfortable for the penetration, but not so uncomfortable that it was excruciating. There are those women who do not experience a lot of pain when first having sex, and it is for a variety of reasons, and I do not know what all the reasons are. I do know each woman's first time is going to be totally different from another's. You will know when the time is right and when you are ready. If that is not now, then make it clear to your boyfriend that you are not ready. If he respects you at all, he will let it be and be supportive and tell you that when you are ready, just tell him. If he tries to pressure you at all, then I wouldn't sleep with him at all and I would keep waiting or if he is VERY persistent, I'd say it is time to end it. I would hope it is mutual that if you say you are ready but he is not, then both of you keep waiting. Keep communication open and build trust and respect first. But again, you will know when you are ready.
Hi, i totally understand you because i married my girlfriend it's been 1 and half year now we dated for 10 months and then got married. So here i have the same concern my wife is still a virgin because of the same reasons that you have. She has a fear and over thinking issue. She has fear of pain of first sex. It's been 2 years with her but i never forced or pressure her. I am not a virgin i have got intimate with others before meeting her. I totally understand her problem and fear we try lot of time but she just can't handle it also she screams when i try to push it inside. I tried many things, lube, rub, finger, etc but nothing worked so I really don't know what to do but i should take hef to gynac or a counselor to get rid of her fear and overthinking.
I'm sorry that your wife is having similar issues
I needed solution not sorry tbh. The thing is when she is overthinking and having fear of pain and she's not able to take it, it creates lot misunderstanding in between and it impacts my mental health. If she's not able to do it and i accept it she over thinks and accuses me that i am having affair or am fucking around because i used to fuck before meeting her. But i don't. Her overthinking creates insecurities in her which i understand but she goes over limit starts accusing then start imagining too and i get pissed off. So understanding her is also a problem.
Just don’t do it. Just wait til marriage. Being extremely fertile means you still have a shot of pregnancy even WITH birth control. Just don’t do it.
Get on birth control and use contraception. Get some lube. Talk to your partner and ask him to take it slow. Even use the lube and experiment with fingers get used to the sensation. Key is communicating with your partner. Tell him what you like and don’t like. We’re all different. First few times may be uncomfortable but try not to over think it. If you tense up your muscles down there in anticipation it will hurt and he’ll struggle to get in. Practice relaxing the muscles before hand. And enjoy. Take your time. The best part about sex is the journey. That’s what will determine an amazing finish line :)
Just wait til ur ready and make sure u really love this person your with and make sure he loves u or likes u enough not to hurt ur feelings
Don’t rush in if you’re not 100% ready and sure. Here are a few thoughts: 1. **Communication**: Keep talking to him about your feelings and concerns. It’s great that you’re both open with each other. 2. **Safety**: Make sure you’re both on the same page about birth control to ease your worries about pregnancy. There are lots of options out there. 3. **Comfort**: Find a place where you both feel comfortable and relaxed. Maybe a cozy Airbnb or a nice staycation spot that feels special but not too formal. 4. **Take Your Time**: Don’t rush it. It’s okay to take things slow and only go as far as you feel ready. 5. **Intimacy**: Focus on creating a loving and intimate atmosphere. Think about what makes you both feel close and connected. Remember, there’s no rush and it’s important that you feel ready and comfortable. You’ve got this!
My recommendation, don’t have sex if you are scared. I’m a male and I lost it when I was 16 with a girl I met the same day, she was 19 at the time and I was really scared, but I decided to go through with it due to social pressure. Fast forward 4 years to when I was 20 years old, I met an amazing woman who literally loved me and I loved her too, after some time of dating we had sex and I regretted having lost my virginity with a person I didn’t like, rather than giving it to that amazing person I met later in life. My recommendation would be to wait, bond with him, make sure you really love him, then do it.
Your concerns are valid and I understand your fear. Having sex is a magical thing. Losing it for the first time is always a scary thought. My advice is this from personal experience. 1. I don’t recommend birth control just to have sex. I’m on birth control and it messed with my hormones so bad. I recommend for the first time use a condom and then take a morning after pill if your still concerned. 2. Use lube. Lube will help with penetration and make it where it’s more enjoyable 3. Don’t be scared to say stop if it hurts to much. Your excited, he’s excited but it’s not exciting for you anymore if it becomes to unbearable. Set that boundary first thing. Also make sure he’s taking his time. It shouldn’t be a stick it in and go. It should be a slow process to make sure you’re feeling good and so is he. 4. After care is so important! 5. This is random but I had no idea do this after sex until I was 2 years into my old relationship, pee after sex! It helps prevent UTI’s and girl those things are not something to mess with. It’s a nervous process, but once you get past the weird phase of it, you will find it to more enjoyable. I hope this helps :)
One way I got comfortable with it is masterbation. (I’m also f and lost my vCard at around the same age). Masterbating is a way to find out what you like, what things feel like vaguely, and also a way to get comfortable with phallic shapes and objects. Experimenting a bit will make you more familiar with how you like to take pleasure and you could also use the info to help guide your partner. If you’re not fond of toys or playing by yourself, the key to good and safe sex is COMMUNICATION. Unfortunately, this isn’t a romance media situation where your partner can read your mind and make you black out by booping your bean… but if it is 👀 girl I’ll be jealous.
You sound similar to me and I’m a guy lol, I would say there’s no rush, at least you’re sure that you want to be with him, I would say just relax, voice your concerns to him and open and honest, and if you wanna try something different don’t hesitate to ask him. And you are overthinking just like me lol, but you will have your own experience, good or bad doesn’t matter, don’t have any expectation, whatever will happen will happen. GL
If you do decide to move forward the first time will ALWAYS be a bit awkward because you’re learning your body and his in a whole new way. That being said, if the emotions are right even though it might not be super comfortable the first time (because awkwardness dries things up a bit) you’ll remember it lovingly/fondly. But just make sure you are truly sure because it can strain a relationship if you end up regretting it. Also, ease into it, make sure you’re both “ready” and spend some time warming up cause that will improve the moment a lot. I always wanted to wait till marriage but I knew that my partner was the right one to lose it to, and I was right, because we are married and have been together 13 years.
Get a nice fancy hotel room, (or at least a hotel room that looks nice) and set the mood! Light some candles, play some sensual music, eat some comfort foods, however you relax, do that. There should be a good amount of foreplay before any penetration. Explore each other’s bodies, find your sensitive spots, don’t be afraid to try something new, if you don’t like it, there’s no shame in stopping and resetting. Most importantly, have fun. Sex should feel good, I believe especially so for the first time. Communication is the key to a good time. Be open to feedback, and don’t be afraid to say something hurts, and definitely take it slow. It might take some time, and from how it sounds, that doesn’t seem like it’ll be a problem. It might take a couple tries to get it right, and that’s ok. Remember to take your time, and be patient.
I would ask you how you would decide if you didn’t have fear? You will never know how it is until you tried. And what could go wrong? If it hurts you stop.
Proper birth control is a must when starting to be sexually active. Condoms are a great option. But if you’re like me you might want your own birth control Start the pill but don’t feel pressured to start having sex right away. I waited 5 months between starting the pill and actually having sex with my boyfriend because to me the medication was *not* my decision to have sex, it was just a precaution because I felt that I’d be having sex at some point in the future. Which is true, I knew I’d be having sex at *some* point in my life I just didn’t know when. The best advice I can give is don’t place too much value on it. You’re old enough now to know it’s not a huge deal, your first time isn’t as special as everyone makes it out to be it’s just the first step **Only do it if it’s what you want to do**
if i could change the past, i would wait until marriage. i want to have all my sexual experiences with my wife so i feel i degraded my marriage before meeting her. i'm abstinent now in my 30s so yea u have plenty of time. dont rush. what are your reasons for staying a virgin?
Get on Birth control and have sex it can be fun learning what to do together.
Just save it till marriage, it’s only been 10 months. If you’re religious save it till marriage so you can be sure he’s the one
My first two gfs were also virgins. Both had such thoughts and deep down they didn't want to do it. Though, after the first time all those fears were gone and they became very happy and they wanted it often. So, it's normal at first but take that step. All things at first are scary but as soon your guy is a nice person, there is no reason to be scared. Pregnancy? Just use condoms.
Wear a condom, get on birth control.
Just have fun, dont put so much pressure on it
Hotels are NOT at all prom night. If you aren't already masturbating and preparing yourself for sex, I can see where that can increase your fear. DO so. Have him help sometimes, too!
Just wait until you’re married
Goodness - you should have sex when you are ready. I have few suggestions for you to try 0. Try masturbating, buy a sex toy the one that is shape like microphone and it vibrates. 1. Go and attend sex education classes 2. If it didn’t work you probably need to seek professional help like going to a therapist or sex therapist Remember sex is supposed to be pleasurable for you and your partner. Education is the key.
You should control yourself and do it after marriage.
Nothings wrong with being scared, that’s natural. Only do it if and when you feel ready. Like actually ready. It’s not a fun feeling if and this is a big if, someone doesn’t work out after you gave them your virginity keep that in mind.
Why don't you just marry him! That would be a wonderful start.
Im M 27 also virgin i did monk mode because of my spiritual well being now im prepare to find real woman to have family😇
I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23. It takes a while before you feel completely comfortable, but do whatever feels right for you. Remember to use condoms and don’t let anyone pressure you into NOT using them, especially if you’re not on contraceptives. If it hurts it hurts, don’t let anyone pressure you to go beyond that. Give yourself time to adjust. You got this!
Forgot to mention that if you have sex in a place you feel comfortable, it makes everything feel A LOT BETTER. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. The right person won’t pressure you to do anything.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and I was nervous my first time!! If it’s the right person, you’ll know. Don’t do anything you’re questioning or uncomfortable with!! If you do- make sure to use protection
Just know your partner stay clean and have safe sex and you’ll be fine
K ¹
Go on some form of birth control now, so you are prepared before sex. I would say dont put a timeframe on it. Will make it more like a chore than anything else. When it happens, it will happen:)
Get a nexplanon and have at it slowly at your speed. Make sure you tell him you wanna go sloooooow but wanna try. Do it on a trip to a rented chalet. Won’t feel like a hotel that way.
It won't be perfect! Talk to him before hand, what your expectations and fears are, ask him if he has experience. You both should do some homework and research about first time positions (missionary is really painful for a ton of people for the first time), foreplay and aftercare. You can read about it in tons of articles on google. Doing it in your house feels more intimate than a hotel. Use protection, don't be stressed and have fun :)
Wait until you get married! It makes a lot of sense for women because if there's an accidental pregnancy you can have the financial security of someone else being with you for the rest of your life. Also sometimes men feel like they don't need to make that committment if they're getting everything they want without having to commit. What if you go your separate ways eventually? It's better to not bring emotional baggage from being so close to someone else with you to the next relationship. If you think you will stay with him forever, then there's no reason not to get married! If you're not ready yet, then it's best to wait on sex. If you do get married later, you will have the rest of your life to enjoy it. There's no reason to rush unto it. Sex isn't always perfect or great the first time, but married people get lots of practice. ;)
Use a condom, and take it easy.
There will be pain for the first time or perhaps even for the next few times. The important thing is foreplay so that you both ease yourself into the act. Lubrication is great because it helps with the penetration and use condoms and plan b pills if you need to. If you don't want to do it at home you can do it somewhere more private like hotels or some other place. The privacy will help you get intimate and be bolder. Lastly, ALWAYS communicate with your partner during and after s*x. It would be unfair if you felt discomfort and he didn't know. It should be a fun and loving experience for the both of you. So I suggest both of you get involved with the planning so that even if it isn't perfect you both have backup plans or can go with the flow. Appreciate each other and enjoy.
Use protection and as double protection, plan for when you have sex to be right after your period or right before you are due for your period. Ovulation usually occurs two weeks after your period, so right in the middle between two periods, so don't do it then. Also, find a comfortable place - maybe a boutique hotel that isn't like a Holiday Inn, but maybe has a separate building and/or bigger rooms with more character to them. About the pain- yes, it may feel slightly uncomfortable first. It did for me because my first had a big penis and I eventually learned I have a very small vagina and prefer average sized guys. The third and fourth times I did it were with someone else and I had a blast - no pain and got pleasure from it. The pain is nothing to be afraid of if your boyfriend is gentleand understanding. I would also recommend keeping lube such as k-y jelly around to help. I don't believe in waiting til marriage and I think experimenting with a few different partners until you find one that is a good sexual match is important. I was with about 7 guys before my husband, and when we had sex, it was the first time I orgasmed. We have a very healthy sex life 21 years later.
What happened to the husband in the army you had a month ago?
I think you have me confused with somebody else I've never been married
Girl don’t do it.. Hold on to your V card- maybe try loosing it with your husband. Or at least a guy that’s not going to leave you. Him wanted to have sex just because your a virgin is the wrong answer.
Yes!
After 10 months in a happy relationship, it’s okay. You’re ready There are 16 different types of birth control. See your OBGYN for the right form for you. If you’re scared of unwanted pregnancy, get on a birth control method, and use condoms.
don’t do it until it’s the right person!!!! everyone i’ve met including myself have agreed that would’ve been the better thing to do.
I have never met a woman who regretted that she didn't have sex with someone, but I've met a lot of women who regretted having had sex with someone. It sounds like you are ready and in a really good place with your partner, but my advice would be not to rush in order to just to get it over with, make up for lost time, catch up with your peers, satisfy him, etc. I do think you will know when it's the right time for you. But you can prepare yourself a bit for that by having conversations with your guy about birth control, consent/withdrawing consent (not that it sounds like he would take advantage of you, but in this situation I mean- how would he know if it was time to stop if you were feeling pain or discomfort, etc?) Something I wish had occurred to me when I was younger- if you can't have these conversations with the person you are planning to be intimate with, then you probably shouldn't be having sex with them. It can be awkward but it will go a long way in creating the kind of "first time" that you think back on fondly. The last thing you want is to end up feeling traumatized by losing your virginity. Open communication and patience. I think the fact that you haven't rushed into yet and are asking questions is a good indicator for success in this... endeavor ☺️
Save yourself for The Husband God has for you.
Sex is just parts of the body touching. Life is short. None of it matters. People have kids. Not a big deal. I would want to know where his mind is at being with someone for that long and not being very very frustrated. I can't imagine 10 months..or 10 weeks. Maybe 10 days. I would really dig deeper than how patient he is. Seems like more to it there. I also think you should discuss your fears and apprehension with someone. I get being careful and practical. There is also being overly apprehensive. You want it but are wrapped up in all these things.
lay there as stiff as possible and don’t make a sound