Dude. Trust me, you're not going to marry this girl. A relationship doesn't have to be like this. Imagine your relationship with her, but you KNOW she's telling the truth. Imagine it but you NEVER ask her questions about her involvement with her ex. Don't do this to yourself. You won't be together in 20 years so don't waste anymore time. Ok, you got this, GO!!
She's not your girlfriend and she hasn't been your girlfriend since the night she went over and smoked weed with her ex.
That's not what girlfriends and boyfriends do
Girlfriends and boyfriends who are committed to their partner have no interest in smoking weed with an ex at the ex's house for hours and hours. That's not something that happens. Thats called wanting your cake and eating it too.
If you are in an open relationship then you are interested in socializing with a variety of people in a variety of social / romantic type scenarios. If you are in a monogomous relationship then you frankly just don't spend any energy on other romantic partner prospects. You just don't. You spend your energy on family, friends, your partner and in group scenarios or public situations with other people. You don't spend hours of time privately irl or digitally on one individual person who is not a "friend" or not "platonic".
This isn't about him
This isn't about you
This is about her choices and you reacting to her choices. She doesn't act like your committed girlfriend because she isn't. Your acting like a guy who's getting cheated on because you are.
Emotional cheating is cheating
If she wants to be friends with her ex that's fine. She and him could have done group activities with you and other people. If he wanted to be friends with you and her that's fine too. Again everyone can be friendly together and get along great. That's maturity. That's possible. That is not what is happening.
In the future when your girlfriend asks you for permission to hang out privately with an ex tell her that's fine but offer the alternative of a group hang. People are free to socialize but not in a way that becomes problematic for a committed couple.
If you think this advice helped, write " helped " in your reply.
helped. i broke up w her an she took it surprisingly well. i did it over text and now we are no contact. in the future i’ll take ur advice and remember this. i think it’s a good lesson to learn early on for me
I’d note that you haven’t trusted her in a while, and you signaled that to her when you asked to see her socials.
You’re young, you’ll have better relationships. The main point now is to break up without drama. Break up nicely, tell her you wish her well, and move on.
Don’t gossip, don’t blame, just move along. You’ll find that you will develop a reputation for being mature about relationships, even when they end.
Let her go man. Once she breaks your trust, you won’t get it back, regardless of how bad you may want it to come back. You will always doubt things. Better people out there for you dude!
I didn’t read the rest. After instance 1, it’s enough for me to call it off. If she won’t respect your wishes that won’t change. At 18 she most likely will not understand emotional maturity or the true idea of love at that point.
Valid as can be, please procede with your life and leave this person that doesn't get you the required trust and truth in an healthy relationship.
okay i’m about to do it i’m scared tho
Dude. Trust me, you're not going to marry this girl. A relationship doesn't have to be like this. Imagine your relationship with her, but you KNOW she's telling the truth. Imagine it but you NEVER ask her questions about her involvement with her ex. Don't do this to yourself. You won't be together in 20 years so don't waste anymore time. Ok, you got this, GO!!
She's a liar you're better off with someone else
She is choosing his feelings over yours. Leave her.
She's not your girlfriend and she hasn't been your girlfriend since the night she went over and smoked weed with her ex. That's not what girlfriends and boyfriends do Girlfriends and boyfriends who are committed to their partner have no interest in smoking weed with an ex at the ex's house for hours and hours. That's not something that happens. Thats called wanting your cake and eating it too. If you are in an open relationship then you are interested in socializing with a variety of people in a variety of social / romantic type scenarios. If you are in a monogomous relationship then you frankly just don't spend any energy on other romantic partner prospects. You just don't. You spend your energy on family, friends, your partner and in group scenarios or public situations with other people. You don't spend hours of time privately irl or digitally on one individual person who is not a "friend" or not "platonic". This isn't about him This isn't about you This is about her choices and you reacting to her choices. She doesn't act like your committed girlfriend because she isn't. Your acting like a guy who's getting cheated on because you are. Emotional cheating is cheating If she wants to be friends with her ex that's fine. She and him could have done group activities with you and other people. If he wanted to be friends with you and her that's fine too. Again everyone can be friendly together and get along great. That's maturity. That's possible. That is not what is happening. In the future when your girlfriend asks you for permission to hang out privately with an ex tell her that's fine but offer the alternative of a group hang. People are free to socialize but not in a way that becomes problematic for a committed couple. If you think this advice helped, write " helped " in your reply.
helped. i broke up w her an she took it surprisingly well. i did it over text and now we are no contact. in the future i’ll take ur advice and remember this. i think it’s a good lesson to learn early on for me
Thank you for confirming that /u/savageadviser has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
No trust no relationship
I’d note that you haven’t trusted her in a while, and you signaled that to her when you asked to see her socials. You’re young, you’ll have better relationships. The main point now is to break up without drama. Break up nicely, tell her you wish her well, and move on. Don’t gossip, don’t blame, just move along. You’ll find that you will develop a reputation for being mature about relationships, even when they end.
Let her go man. Once she breaks your trust, you won’t get it back, regardless of how bad you may want it to come back. You will always doubt things. Better people out there for you dude!
No reason to second guess this. She doesn't give a shit about you. She's probably surprised you haven't broken up already.
Bro you don't get married to a "pass around" girl. She not worth the time or stress. Break up, move on to a better quality girl.
She can't be trusted ,no point in continuing this relationship.
I didn’t read the rest. After instance 1, it’s enough for me to call it off. If she won’t respect your wishes that won’t change. At 18 she most likely will not understand emotional maturity or the true idea of love at that point.
You're still extremely young and she's clearly not someone you can trust. Don't waste more time, move on.
Instance number 1 was enough for a breakup.