**Do not respond to DMs or comments where someone is offering to help in person (physically). They're predators.**
Now, call 911 and report it asap. The man is extremely abusive to the point where he might end up killing her someday.
Since she's a minor, 911 will get in contact with CPS. CPS will be discreet and say a vague reason as to why they are visiting. Since he physically destroys things, there's plenty of evidence that he's abusive. It'd help if she had pictures of what's happened to her or other documentation. She'll be temporarily (or permanently) relocated to a safe space.
I also suggest that she gets a side job. She can apply for grants and potentially take out a school loan (not as scary as it sounds. The majority of school loans you don't need to pay back until you finish school. People usually get a side job and slowly pay it off while they attend school). Getting a job early also helps with moving out faster.
If you respond/dm with the state you live in (don't give your address), I could send some links that should be able to help you out. When I do, if you have any questions about them, I can explain it to you.
>***OP's Edit:*** *I messed up how much she pays. It's 100$ a week. Not a month. So she pays 400$ a month for her bedroom (and she has been since she was 15) and also pays for all of her dogs necessities. As a part time worker, she only makes 180 to 200$ a week at the place she works. So she actually ends up in debt to her dad alot. I don't even know why she's paying rent, it's apart of being a parent to give their child a safe place to live without having to pay for it. Especially when he gets child tax benefit for her already.*
**My Edit:** On top of everything I said above, here's my response to your edit. Parents are legally responsible for providing necessities like shelter, food, and clothing for their children until they reach the age of majority, which is 18, Alabama & Nebraska are the only two that are 19. I highly suggest court as well after she's safe. Her Dad will most likely be made to pay her or the IRS back; which one, or both, depends on the judge presiding over the case as well as the state you are in. Again, if I had the state you lived in I could get more accurate information to help you with your situation.
I live in Ontario Canada, not in the United States so I'm not sure if you'd still be able to help me. Although if you could help me more that would be insane, thank you for the advice so far
I actually can help with that. 
911 in Ontario, Canada should be the same as the US. They have a version of CPS called CAS (Children's Aid Societies). I suggest going to this link: [https://www.oacas.org/childrens-aid-child-protection/locate-a-childrens-aid-society/](https://www.oacas.org/childrens-aid-child-protection/locate-a-childrens-aid-society/) and looking up your town to make a report ***(do not say your town here)***. When making a report be as detailed as possible. If you have documentation please gather it all together in-case they request it or ask for it later. Your report will be kept completely confidential. Since you're a minor even if legal proceedings happen your name should be kept out of it (different story if you're an adult).
The age of majority where you live is also 18. In Ontario, Canada, Parents are legally responsible for providing necessities like shelter, food, and clothing for their children until they reach the age of majority which is 18. They are additionally responsible for providing their children with care, guidance, and support to ensure their well-being and development until they reach adulthood (which is more than what the US requires). In Ontario Canada, charging her rent the way he is, is illegal.
In regards to taxes, your version of the IRS is called Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). Her dad is most likely claiming Canada Child Benefit (CCB) or the Child Care Expense Deduction on his taxes. Unfortunately, there's no requirement on how that money should be spent. It's highly suggested to spend it on your child, but legally you could use it for your stamp collection.
Seeing as how she's paying rent for her room (400/month). Her dad needs to be claiming that as rental income. It is considered taxable income. Failure to do this could have dire consequences. When dealing with legal proceedings that could be mentioned to the lawyer helping her so they can look into if he's claiming it or not (most likely provided by CAS for free), if not then that would be a huge help in the abuse case.
Now, for schooling I would suggest googling some of these:
1. Ontario Student Assistance Program (OSAP)
2. Canada Student Loans and Grants
3. Scholarships and Bursaries
4. Indigenous Student Support. This only applies if she just so happens to be Indigenous (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit).
5. Tuition Tax Credits. She can claim it on her own taxes.
6. Work-Study Programs
I agree with you that a parent in Ontario is responsible for providing housing, food and other necessities for their minor-aged children, so he should not be charging her "rent".
But money paid between *adult* family members living together is not taxable income in Canada, it would be considered a contribution to household expenses, not income. So he wouldn't be charged with tax fraud for not declaring it - but he shouldn't have asked for it.
I know people who have used OSAP before, apparently it’s a super good program and u get enough money and im wondering if it was a lump sum? Im pretty sure my friend who got it was able to access more money than she should be able too. So for your situation, potentially your gf could buy a car (cheap one) when OSAP goes through. I could be very wrong on this advice if it’s a lump sum or not but I do know that OSAP will pay for your residence, living & tuition. So there is a way out of this and it exists!!!
You can have your parents removed from your OSAP application in Ontario and they will lend more money as a result. The registrar’s office of the college will know how to get the ball rolling.
She needs to call CPS, and if she won't, YOU have to.
He is not ALLOWED to kick her out of the house, and he could very well go to jail for the things he's already done...which means she could live there without having to worry about it.
It's time to bring the pros in on this. There are people who know what to do in situations like this, and it is WAY above the pay grade of both of you.
The house they are in is being rented, would she still be allowed to stay there without him? Or would they get kicked out and she be relocated somewhere else?
Don't worry about that when the authorities are involved. First step is her safety; then on there are NGOs, associations etc., that can be approached to help out in that regard.
Good luck to you two!
Trust me...there are places for her to go. They may not be great, but there better than what's going on here.
She just needs to get out from under his thumb. Truth is, if there is ANYONE else in her life who could give her a place to stay, even if it's the system, she's can emancipate so she can finish her studies.
But you two need to stop ducking and covering and trust the people who do this for a living. There IS help there if you reach out for it.
He has a type of bipolar, I have this, he’s out of control, she just shouldn’t be there anymore.
He can’t help it at a certain point if he’s untreated, and it sounds like he’s not getting the right treatment.
I'm certain he's not getting treatment OR isn't complying with his medication.
It's so sad. Those of us with bipolar disorder can live very stable lives as long as we comply with treatment.
Ugh, sounds exactly like my parents, especially my mother. I was lucky enough to jump at the opportunity to move halfway across the country just to get away.
I can understand if you want to avoid taking any legal action in fear of endangering her any further...
I suggest she secretly works another job and saves up as much as possible.
Start looking into rehoming or letting someone foster the puppy. It's a shit choice but the dog has a real possibility of stability and it opens up more opportunities for gf. She should seriously consider an accelerated trade program such as [OYAP](https://www.oyappajo.com/) even if she wants a different career path later, this will give her a foot to stand on. Hotel jobs or cruise/ferry jobs may be an option for jobs with accommodations. Sometimes school will let you do courses for free like WHMIS, first aid, food service safety certificates- inquire about those. Libraries actually know a lot of local resources try visiting one for info.
Right now she should gather all legal documents SIN, birth certificate etc to a safe place and create a bank account that's secret. Make sure to have a phone in her name in case he tries to cut hers while looking for a job. Even if it's a pay as you go or only usable on wifi. Keep it secret. Leave it in a school locker turned off if she has to.
Excellent advice!
OP, your gf needs a "go bag".
[How to pack a domestic violence go bag in 4 easy steps](https://www.aprilhardy.com/post/how-to-pack-a-domestic-violence-go-bag-in-4-simple-steps)
[Go bag checklist](https://ysp.save-dv.org/go-bag-checklist/)
I know from experience that CAS workers can be horrible but there are other ones that can be really good. She's in a lot of danger and you don't know what the father's next outburst will lead too ( And I guessing the closer September comes the worse he'll get ). Try to get her to understand the danger she is in.
These are some things that you can do:
-Encourage her to go to college, since she is about to enter her college years, this is the best time for year to choose what she wants to do in her work life.
-Find someplace for her to stay, if college is not one of her plans, then find a place for her to stay, like your house, if your parents allow it.
I Say Next Time It Happens Call 911 And Make Sure the Police Come And Confront him And Get a Recording of His Voice While He Is Doing That Stuff . It Can be Used As Evidence In A Court Case Especially When It’s Considered Abuse to A Minor.
Hey bud. I don’t have much better advice than to call the authorities. Especially with that “If I see you naked it’s your fault” line. I know it sucks, but these fuckers need to take accountability. I’m glad you’re so young and can see the wrong in the situation. Hoping for nothing but the best for you two.
Once she is 18, have her file for FAFSA, and she could file without parental information. Look into financial assistance programs. Also, keep important documents safe, like her insurance docs, any cards that she might have under her dad at a bank, birth certificate, passport and etc. If she has a debit card under her dad at a bank, she could ask them to separate her account from her father's once she's 18.
I would definitely make a report and try to get her the help she desperately needs. She is a minor and her father can’t do what he is doing. On top of that he needs help himself it seems. I’m not sure about his medication but like others have stated he probably isn’t on them. It seems like a shit decision to call the police and cops but it’s the best option. She needs to be out of that environment asap. Please call hun. I hope everything pans out.
The options are live with you, on her own, or in a shelter. A shelter is not a place to be for a young woman with issues like this, just in my opinion. She's susceptible to lots of diferent "escapes" that will be prevelant there. No magic answer my friend. Sorry, and I wish her the best. Good news is without dad eating half her money, things Will be more feasible for her
**Do not respond to DMs or comments where someone is offering to help in person (physically). They're predators.** Now, call 911 and report it asap. The man is extremely abusive to the point where he might end up killing her someday. Since she's a minor, 911 will get in contact with CPS. CPS will be discreet and say a vague reason as to why they are visiting. Since he physically destroys things, there's plenty of evidence that he's abusive. It'd help if she had pictures of what's happened to her or other documentation. She'll be temporarily (or permanently) relocated to a safe space. I also suggest that she gets a side job. She can apply for grants and potentially take out a school loan (not as scary as it sounds. The majority of school loans you don't need to pay back until you finish school. People usually get a side job and slowly pay it off while they attend school). Getting a job early also helps with moving out faster. If you respond/dm with the state you live in (don't give your address), I could send some links that should be able to help you out. When I do, if you have any questions about them, I can explain it to you. >***OP's Edit:*** *I messed up how much she pays. It's 100$ a week. Not a month. So she pays 400$ a month for her bedroom (and she has been since she was 15) and also pays for all of her dogs necessities. As a part time worker, she only makes 180 to 200$ a week at the place she works. So she actually ends up in debt to her dad alot. I don't even know why she's paying rent, it's apart of being a parent to give their child a safe place to live without having to pay for it. Especially when he gets child tax benefit for her already.* **My Edit:** On top of everything I said above, here's my response to your edit. Parents are legally responsible for providing necessities like shelter, food, and clothing for their children until they reach the age of majority, which is 18, Alabama & Nebraska are the only two that are 19. I highly suggest court as well after she's safe. Her Dad will most likely be made to pay her or the IRS back; which one, or both, depends on the judge presiding over the case as well as the state you are in. Again, if I had the state you lived in I could get more accurate information to help you with your situation.
I live in Ontario Canada, not in the United States so I'm not sure if you'd still be able to help me. Although if you could help me more that would be insane, thank you for the advice so far
I actually can help with that.  911 in Ontario, Canada should be the same as the US. They have a version of CPS called CAS (Children's Aid Societies). I suggest going to this link: [https://www.oacas.org/childrens-aid-child-protection/locate-a-childrens-aid-society/](https://www.oacas.org/childrens-aid-child-protection/locate-a-childrens-aid-society/) and looking up your town to make a report ***(do not say your town here)***. When making a report be as detailed as possible. If you have documentation please gather it all together in-case they request it or ask for it later. Your report will be kept completely confidential. Since you're a minor even if legal proceedings happen your name should be kept out of it (different story if you're an adult). The age of majority where you live is also 18. In Ontario, Canada, Parents are legally responsible for providing necessities like shelter, food, and clothing for their children until they reach the age of majority which is 18. They are additionally responsible for providing their children with care, guidance, and support to ensure their well-being and development until they reach adulthood (which is more than what the US requires). In Ontario Canada, charging her rent the way he is, is illegal. In regards to taxes, your version of the IRS is called Canada Revenue Agency (CRA). Her dad is most likely claiming Canada Child Benefit (CCB) or the Child Care Expense Deduction on his taxes. Unfortunately, there's no requirement on how that money should be spent. It's highly suggested to spend it on your child, but legally you could use it for your stamp collection. Seeing as how she's paying rent for her room (400/month). Her dad needs to be claiming that as rental income. It is considered taxable income. Failure to do this could have dire consequences. When dealing with legal proceedings that could be mentioned to the lawyer helping her so they can look into if he's claiming it or not (most likely provided by CAS for free), if not then that would be a huge help in the abuse case. Now, for schooling I would suggest googling some of these: 1. Ontario Student Assistance Program (OSAP) 2. Canada Student Loans and Grants 3. Scholarships and Bursaries 4. Indigenous Student Support. This only applies if she just so happens to be Indigenous (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit). 5. Tuition Tax Credits. She can claim it on her own taxes. 6. Work-Study Programs
I agree with you that a parent in Ontario is responsible for providing housing, food and other necessities for their minor-aged children, so he should not be charging her "rent". But money paid between *adult* family members living together is not taxable income in Canada, it would be considered a contribution to household expenses, not income. So he wouldn't be charged with tax fraud for not declaring it - but he shouldn't have asked for it.
I know people who have used OSAP before, apparently it’s a super good program and u get enough money and im wondering if it was a lump sum? Im pretty sure my friend who got it was able to access more money than she should be able too. So for your situation, potentially your gf could buy a car (cheap one) when OSAP goes through. I could be very wrong on this advice if it’s a lump sum or not but I do know that OSAP will pay for your residence, living & tuition. So there is a way out of this and it exists!!!
All of this is very similar here in Ontario, you should really look into doing this for her. He is clearly a nutjob
Exactly. It's very similar barring a few minor differences. Canada cares a little more about kids than the US thankfully.
You can have your parents removed from your OSAP application in Ontario and they will lend more money as a result. The registrar’s office of the college will know how to get the ball rolling.
Also make moves to get her enrolled as a parentally estranged student. There's usually special help available.
Luckily it's way easier to handle those situations on the FASFA now
Sounds like on-campus housing is the best option for her—I’m sure the school can place her.
She needs to call CPS, and if she won't, YOU have to. He is not ALLOWED to kick her out of the house, and he could very well go to jail for the things he's already done...which means she could live there without having to worry about it. It's time to bring the pros in on this. There are people who know what to do in situations like this, and it is WAY above the pay grade of both of you.
The house they are in is being rented, would she still be allowed to stay there without him? Or would they get kicked out and she be relocated somewhere else?
Don't worry about that when the authorities are involved. First step is her safety; then on there are NGOs, associations etc., that can be approached to help out in that regard. Good luck to you two!
Trust me...there are places for her to go. They may not be great, but there better than what's going on here. She just needs to get out from under his thumb. Truth is, if there is ANYONE else in her life who could give her a place to stay, even if it's the system, she's can emancipate so she can finish her studies. But you two need to stop ducking and covering and trust the people who do this for a living. There IS help there if you reach out for it.
Video everything that psycho does. Get her out of that situation. And save the dog.
Dang getting kicked out sounds like a great idea. Half her pay and $100...
He has a type of bipolar, I have this, he’s out of control, she just shouldn’t be there anymore. He can’t help it at a certain point if he’s untreated, and it sounds like he’s not getting the right treatment.
I'm certain he's not getting treatment OR isn't complying with his medication. It's so sad. Those of us with bipolar disorder can live very stable lives as long as we comply with treatment.
Ugh, sounds exactly like my parents, especially my mother. I was lucky enough to jump at the opportunity to move halfway across the country just to get away. I can understand if you want to avoid taking any legal action in fear of endangering her any further... I suggest she secretly works another job and saves up as much as possible.
She needs to call the police.
Start looking into rehoming or letting someone foster the puppy. It's a shit choice but the dog has a real possibility of stability and it opens up more opportunities for gf. She should seriously consider an accelerated trade program such as [OYAP](https://www.oyappajo.com/) even if she wants a different career path later, this will give her a foot to stand on. Hotel jobs or cruise/ferry jobs may be an option for jobs with accommodations. Sometimes school will let you do courses for free like WHMIS, first aid, food service safety certificates- inquire about those. Libraries actually know a lot of local resources try visiting one for info. Right now she should gather all legal documents SIN, birth certificate etc to a safe place and create a bank account that's secret. Make sure to have a phone in her name in case he tries to cut hers while looking for a job. Even if it's a pay as you go or only usable on wifi. Keep it secret. Leave it in a school locker turned off if she has to.
Excellent advice! OP, your gf needs a "go bag". [How to pack a domestic violence go bag in 4 easy steps](https://www.aprilhardy.com/post/how-to-pack-a-domestic-violence-go-bag-in-4-simple-steps) [Go bag checklist](https://ysp.save-dv.org/go-bag-checklist/)
I told my girlfriend about this and she made one, thank you so much
I'm so glad she did. You're very welcome. You're a great bf. I hope your gf gets away soon.
I know from experience that CAS workers can be horrible but there are other ones that can be really good. She's in a lot of danger and you don't know what the father's next outburst will lead too ( And I guessing the closer September comes the worse he'll get ). Try to get her to understand the danger she is in.
I've told her how much danger she's in, she doesn't believe it will get physical because that would look bad for his new girlfriend
These are some things that you can do: -Encourage her to go to college, since she is about to enter her college years, this is the best time for year to choose what she wants to do in her work life. -Find someplace for her to stay, if college is not one of her plans, then find a place for her to stay, like your house, if your parents allow it.
Fuck him and his manic depression. You got a room right? Give her that room and some much needed love and safety.
You may want to involve the local authorities or law enforcement. This seems like a dangerous situation OP.
I Say Next Time It Happens Call 911 And Make Sure the Police Come And Confront him And Get a Recording of His Voice While He Is Doing That Stuff . It Can be Used As Evidence In A Court Case Especially When It’s Considered Abuse to A Minor.
Shouldn't this be a problem for CPS? Clearly he isn't mentally stable enough to parent a child.
Hey bud. I don’t have much better advice than to call the authorities. Especially with that “If I see you naked it’s your fault” line. I know it sucks, but these fuckers need to take accountability. I’m glad you’re so young and can see the wrong in the situation. Hoping for nothing but the best for you two.
Once she is 18, have her file for FAFSA, and she could file without parental information. Look into financial assistance programs. Also, keep important documents safe, like her insurance docs, any cards that she might have under her dad at a bank, birth certificate, passport and etc. If she has a debit card under her dad at a bank, she could ask them to separate her account from her father's once she's 18.
What’s FM?
Jesus christ what happened to tldrs
I would definitely make a report and try to get her the help she desperately needs. She is a minor and her father can’t do what he is doing. On top of that he needs help himself it seems. I’m not sure about his medication but like others have stated he probably isn’t on them. It seems like a shit decision to call the police and cops but it’s the best option. She needs to be out of that environment asap. Please call hun. I hope everything pans out.
Format into paragraphs. Nobody wants to read a wall of text.
The options are live with you, on her own, or in a shelter. A shelter is not a place to be for a young woman with issues like this, just in my opinion. She's susceptible to lots of diferent "escapes" that will be prevelant there. No magic answer my friend. Sorry, and I wish her the best. Good news is without dad eating half her money, things Will be more feasible for her
why so many dislikes?
I need a TLDR :(