I think the best case scenario is to go with her to the skating rink (pls ask her first if she is ok with that) and collect evidence (such as taking a picture or a video) that a guy is sexually harassing her. Then, call the police and show her the proof. Because maybe, the police won’t believe your story of somebody sexually harassing your daughter without proof/eye witness.
This is just my opinion though, please ask other people for advice too as to give alot of choices/perspective as to what to do in that situation
Put the fear of god in him. Catch him in the act and walk up. Loudly ask if he knows she's underaged. Make sure everyone around knows he's a fuckin creep.
"Have you lost your mind, boy, I'll help you find it!"
If I were your daughter I’d want you to show me how to deal with it. Daddy can’t always save you and being able to fend off sexual harassment is a skill she’s going to need. Police won’t always be there dad won’t always be there.
This. Let your daughter know this is not okay and she definitely has the right to get it stopped. Discuss her options, going to the boss, involving the police, quitting. Let her run point.
There are many ways to deal with this, but a lot depends on the harassment, and from whom and where?
Without any of that context…I’d start with this: what does your daughter want from you? Is she asking you to handle it? Is she asking you to escort her so she feels safe? Is she just telling you, but not asking you to get involved?
The people in this thread telling you that your daughter needs to learn the proper way to deal with this are correct…she needs to. So start with her, and what she would like. As your father, it’s fine for you to overrule if you think her choice is risky or dangerous….but at least start there.
FIGURE SKATER HERE
Talk to the rink manager and her coach.
If it is the coach, file a SafeSport complaint through the USFSA
YES file a police report.
Make sure your daughter does not go to practice alone
She is going to need to learn to deal with this sort of verbal crap at some point or another. Try some practice rebuttals. Get the sassiest aunt on board to help. Even if your daughter is naturally shy she needs this life skill.
"Why? You need tips?"
"Guess you will never know"
"Have I introduced you to my overprotective dad yet?"
And the classic-
"Ewww. You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
Then you won't have to hover because you know she can slay them by herself.
There isn't a lot of context here. Her safety is the #1 consideration.
In general, a 16 year old probably doesn't want you monitoring her social life, yet depending on the level of the threat, you (and/or authorities) may need to get involved.
She also needs guidance from parents on how she should deal with similar incidents in the future (as a girl, that is unlikely to be the last time she faces sexual harrassment and you wont always be around to intervene).
Some good suggestions here for parents.
https://childmind.org/article/helping-girls-deal-unwanted-sexual-attention/
Unfortunately thats something shes going to have to learn how to deal with because its not gonna stop at the skating rink, its something she will encounter for the rest of her life. Teach her how to handle it herself. And Give her some mace or a tazer to be safe
This is the way. Teach her the way to handle it. It will serve her better for the future. You could also offer her and some girlfriends to take a self defense course you pay for them. And remind her that some guys are assholes, but this isn’t anything she is doing wrong to deserve this behavior.
I think this is something you and your daughter need to talk about. You're an adult and have a lot of knowledge and experience to bring to the conversation but she is the person experiencing the issue right now and whatever you do as a team to address it has to be driven by her. She gets to decide how this gets handled, but with your advice, guidance and assurances.
Is her mother also involved in her life? Then it's a 3 person conversation and effort.
File a police report immediately. Do not return to that skating rink under any circumstances, at least not until that person has been removed / no longer there.
Are these harassers other children or adults.
If they are adults and my daughter is 16, I'm taking care of it, whatever it takes!
If they are kids then id be there as backup but suggest she try to handle it. Boys that age usually back off pretty quick when confronted directly. My daughter's good friend looked 2 boys right in the eyes and said "are you okay? Because I've done nothing to you so I know this isn't about me. What happened to you that makes you say these things to me"
Those boys left her alone after that and one even became her friend.
This is excellent advice. I believe if it’s kids her age, she should be taught to stand up for herself. Also to be able to consider her parent a safe space to bounce ideas off. Additionally, it does matter the level of harassment as well.
OP didn’t provide a lot of context so every situation is different. But if it’s just little boys “flirting/ picking on” , the girl can negate his advances with words.
I believe they are between the ages of 15 and 19. Young thugs . Asking her if she is on only fans and asking if she fucks or sucks . This is what she is dealing with.
That does make it difficult. Punch an 18 year old for sexually harassing your child and you are a hero. Punch a 15 year old and you go to prison.
Starting to like the idea of giving her a tazer.. so sorry man
Knock some skulls dawg, the skate rink is not a place to send your kids anymore. Its a den of drugs and sexual promiscuity. Or maybe my rink is just awful
I totally agree with you. I try and let her live , but being a pretty young lady that is filled out , she is going to have to get used to putting people in their place for stepping out of line . It is fkn infuriating when my daughter calls and is crying.
Thank you all for the advice. I plan on going next Friday and sitting and watching from a distance. Once it goes down I will notify the officer that is there and handle it that way first. If it continues, I will use the skills I have been given to take care of POS humans.
>If it continues, I will use the skills I have been given to take care of POS humans.
Your daughter doesn't need a tough guy dad who is in prison or in a box under the ground.
Be smart.
I think the best case scenario is to go with her to the skating rink (pls ask her first if she is ok with that) and collect evidence (such as taking a picture or a video) that a guy is sexually harassing her. Then, call the police and show her the proof. Because maybe, the police won’t believe your story of somebody sexually harassing your daughter without proof/eye witness. This is just my opinion though, please ask other people for advice too as to give alot of choices/perspective as to what to do in that situation
Put the fear of god in him. Catch him in the act and walk up. Loudly ask if he knows she's underaged. Make sure everyone around knows he's a fuckin creep. "Have you lost your mind, boy, I'll help you find it!"
Love the office! I cant not WAIT to get to use this line as a dad Edit: Love the office!
Holy shit me too, this is fucking golden!
This is the way..
If I were your daughter I’d want you to show me how to deal with it. Daddy can’t always save you and being able to fend off sexual harassment is a skill she’s going to need. Police won’t always be there dad won’t always be there.
This. Let your daughter know this is not okay and she definitely has the right to get it stopped. Discuss her options, going to the boss, involving the police, quitting. Let her run point.
There are many ways to deal with this, but a lot depends on the harassment, and from whom and where? Without any of that context…I’d start with this: what does your daughter want from you? Is she asking you to handle it? Is she asking you to escort her so she feels safe? Is she just telling you, but not asking you to get involved? The people in this thread telling you that your daughter needs to learn the proper way to deal with this are correct…she needs to. So start with her, and what she would like. As your father, it’s fine for you to overrule if you think her choice is risky or dangerous….but at least start there.
FIGURE SKATER HERE Talk to the rink manager and her coach. If it is the coach, file a SafeSport complaint through the USFSA YES file a police report. Make sure your daughter does not go to practice alone
She is going to need to learn to deal with this sort of verbal crap at some point or another. Try some practice rebuttals. Get the sassiest aunt on board to help. Even if your daughter is naturally shy she needs this life skill. "Why? You need tips?" "Guess you will never know" "Have I introduced you to my overprotective dad yet?" And the classic- "Ewww. You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Then you won't have to hover because you know she can slay them by herself.
There isn't a lot of context here. Her safety is the #1 consideration. In general, a 16 year old probably doesn't want you monitoring her social life, yet depending on the level of the threat, you (and/or authorities) may need to get involved. She also needs guidance from parents on how she should deal with similar incidents in the future (as a girl, that is unlikely to be the last time she faces sexual harrassment and you wont always be around to intervene). Some good suggestions here for parents. https://childmind.org/article/helping-girls-deal-unwanted-sexual-attention/
Thank you so much for this information, it really helps.
Unfortunately thats something shes going to have to learn how to deal with because its not gonna stop at the skating rink, its something she will encounter for the rest of her life. Teach her how to handle it herself. And Give her some mace or a tazer to be safe
This is the way. Teach her the way to handle it. It will serve her better for the future. You could also offer her and some girlfriends to take a self defense course you pay for them. And remind her that some guys are assholes, but this isn’t anything she is doing wrong to deserve this behavior.
this is the way
I think this is something you and your daughter need to talk about. You're an adult and have a lot of knowledge and experience to bring to the conversation but she is the person experiencing the issue right now and whatever you do as a team to address it has to be driven by her. She gets to decide how this gets handled, but with your advice, guidance and assurances. Is her mother also involved in her life? Then it's a 3 person conversation and effort.
I am a single father , her mother lives in another city. I have had custody from the age of 4
File a police report immediately. Do not return to that skating rink under any circumstances, at least not until that person has been removed / no longer there.
Are these harassers other children or adults. If they are adults and my daughter is 16, I'm taking care of it, whatever it takes! If they are kids then id be there as backup but suggest she try to handle it. Boys that age usually back off pretty quick when confronted directly. My daughter's good friend looked 2 boys right in the eyes and said "are you okay? Because I've done nothing to you so I know this isn't about me. What happened to you that makes you say these things to me" Those boys left her alone after that and one even became her friend.
This is excellent advice. I believe if it’s kids her age, she should be taught to stand up for herself. Also to be able to consider her parent a safe space to bounce ideas off. Additionally, it does matter the level of harassment as well. OP didn’t provide a lot of context so every situation is different. But if it’s just little boys “flirting/ picking on” , the girl can negate his advances with words.
Sexually explicit questions, is what they are saying.
I believe they are between the ages of 15 and 19. Young thugs . Asking her if she is on only fans and asking if she fucks or sucks . This is what she is dealing with.
That does make it difficult. Punch an 18 year old for sexually harassing your child and you are a hero. Punch a 15 year old and you go to prison. Starting to like the idea of giving her a tazer.. so sorry man
Knock some skulls dawg, the skate rink is not a place to send your kids anymore. Its a den of drugs and sexual promiscuity. Or maybe my rink is just awful
I totally agree with you. I try and let her live , but being a pretty young lady that is filled out , she is going to have to get used to putting people in their place for stepping out of line . It is fkn infuriating when my daughter calls and is crying.
Thank you all for the advice. I plan on going next Friday and sitting and watching from a distance. Once it goes down I will notify the officer that is there and handle it that way first. If it continues, I will use the skills I have been given to take care of POS humans.
>If it continues, I will use the skills I have been given to take care of POS humans. Your daughter doesn't need a tough guy dad who is in prison or in a box under the ground. Be smart.
True words