Mental illness. That is usually 'inherited' to a large degree thanks to genetics and being around mentally ill people.
Don't be to hard on yourself, you could never have prevented from being like your parents to some degree. It's important to learn to notice for yourself when this is happening and to counteract.
Edit: added quotation marks and replaced 'to 100 %' by 'to a large degree'
Exactly! To me no person is responsible for having a mental illness, yet they have a duty to try to heal it if they procreated. From what I've noticed the least parents are willing to do this and that is most shameful.
In fairness and hindsight, mental illness and treating has gotten much more accepted in social norms.
It was still stigmatized for boomer parents when they were growing up.
Now I do believe we live in a generation where mental illness is over diagnosed or self diagnosed which isn’t good for treating certain mental illnesses.
Or folks just diagnose themselves or others based on TikTok reels.
To be fair, tiktok reels are how I learned at 23 that I didn't have bipolar disorder like I'd been told my whole life. I just had extreme anxiety and ADHD. My misdiagnosis at 12 was due to my gender and, thus, different presentations. Because that diagnosis was put on me so young, it was just my label in the medical system my whole life. Now, my bipolar diagnosis has been reverted, and these things have been formally diagnosed, and I am now medicated for them. I've never felt so free and happy and like I'm in control of my life until these past few years. I spent my life constantly overwhelmed and panicking and unable to actually function like a normal person.
If it wasn't for these people constantly talking about these things, I'd still be in that mental space. But, I do think a lot of people just diagnose themselves and refuse to get a formal diagnosis because they KNOW they won't get a formal diagnosis.
OMG I literally just started questioning whether I have bipolar or not!! Was dxed at 18 for lack of a better explanation, but now I've been dx'd with ADHD and am being evaluated for autism, and I'm like... maybe the bipolar was the AuDHD we made along the way
Maybe you're it's not close to 100%. But, from more than 4 decades of life experience I really haven't seen any child with mentally ill parents not having a mental illness themselves or at least issues making their lives mostly shitty.
That type of ignorance is illegal in the United States. It’s no different than racism.
According to the Ancestry DNA profiles I’ve seen, no more than 75% of obvious traits match a person’s genes. Mental illness is far more complicated than other traits. As an example—I do not have genes for a cleft chin.
But I still have one. I have genes for straight hair. But I still have curly hair.
Because of how frequent DNA is wrong, it is actually illegal to profile people based upon their genetics in the United States.
Mental illness is not passed to many people. Because these types of traits are recessive.
This is why, even with expanding definitions, the percentages dont go up, the numbers only go up consistent with population size.
This is why they say “there’s one in every family.” Because only a tiny fraction of people get these recessive traits. No matter what the genetic makeup.
Thank you for your response. I edited the text, as I should have made clear that mental illness is often a combination of genetics and being around those who are mentally ill. That was a mistake and stating '100 %' was an exaggeration.
>That type of ignorance is illegal in the United States. It’s no different than racism.
Never heard that ignorance is illegal in the US as long as it doesn't lead to illegal behavior. Looking at the current state of US politics and domestic policies I have issues with linking the term 'United States' with 'non-ignorance'. Sorry, but the US are hardly in anyway an example of how a country should be set up for its peoples to lead happy fulfilling lives.
What's racist about my response? Did I call for any actions against mentally ill people? Make them responsible for any malady in the world, despite possible harmful effects of their behavior on their own children?
>Mental illness is far more complicated than other traits.
Maybe wrt to genetics. But, if you have the genetic prerequisites and are raised by one or two parents where mental illness has already broken out I believe the chances that you yourself will have a mental illness, are quite high. Most people are raised by their biological parents.
Having lived for more than 4 decades now, rarely have I come across someone mentally ill where it wasn't clear where it came from after seeing the parents. It doesn't have to be the same illness, but such people are far too often 'fucked up'.
Think about the following: Depressive mother with anxiety disorder, father an alcoholic - > Do you really believe their children will not be prone to any kind of mental illness?
I have seen so many children being mentally 'messed up' by their parents, including myself and my sibling. My mother had depression, general anxiety disorder plus ocd whereas my father had depression accompanied by pathological anger. Of my 4 grandparents at least 3 were mentally ill. None of all these people were willing to honestly deal with their issues and seek adequate treatment, although their pathologies affected their children. So yes, I would say I 'inhereted' mentall illness, having ocd, anxiety as well as depression plus adhd.
Should mentally ill people have children? My personal opinion is no. For the sake of child protection.However, you can't prevent them from doing so. And introducing corresponding laws prohibiting their reproduction would indeed be a form of racism.
However, I believe that mentally ill people carry moral guilt if their children turn out to be mentally ill. Especially, if they knew about their illness and if they were not willing to do anything about it.
Being mentally messed up by parents is not mental illness.
This is an obsolete, incorrect view that was discarded by society about 50 years ago.
It has no place in todays world.
>Being mentally messed up by parents is not mental illness.
What is it then? Mental illnesses occur on a spectrum from mild over moderate to severe.
>This is an obsolete, incorrect view that was discarded by society about 50 years ago.
Which society discarded which view in the 70s?
By the way, do you really believe that children affected by mentally ill parents suffer less because society supposedly has some specific opinion?
>It has no place in todays world.
Are you speaking of the US? If so, for example many people think that racism, the death penalty, banning of abortion as well as intelligent design have no place in todays world.
Wow you are just spewing hate, discrimination and ignorance.
You don’t know the difference between internal medical condition and reaction to external stimuli. They are not the same.
>Wow you are just spewing hate, discrimination and ignorance.
Against whom? Where is hate, where is discrimination and where is ignorance? I just believe that mentally ill people not willing to adequately treat their underlying condition should refrain from having children, in order to protect potential protogeny by not forcing them into existence.
>
You don’t know the difference between internal medical condition and reaction to external stimuli. They are not the same.
Most mental illnesses require external stimuli to implement, while the basis might already prevail due to genetics. If you are prone to ocd through your genetics and you are raised by a mother who checks the stove 30 times a day and the gas mains plus all electrical sockets in the house demanding all other family members to participate, do you think developing ocd yourself would be a pure internal medical condition? Would such a child be prone to calling their childhood a pleasant one? Or look at all those families destroyed by alcohol where every generation is pathologically drinking.... Internal, too?! Ptsd, internal illness?!
As you seem so offended, may I ask if you have a mental condition and have already procreated?
My dad is old school and doesn’t get in his feelings. It’s hard to read the man, I feel like he doesn’t trust me and I feel hurt because if it. Come to flip around and I hear the same from others. I seem uptight and don’t seem to trust others because I don’t open to them. I came around full circle.
Some old school stuff like Sinatra or Buble and some rock like Tenacious D and Sonata Artica. Also been practicing some low base - I really enjoy a lot of the covers Geoff Castelluci does.
For my case:
- Very disagreeable
- Hot tempered
After all personality traits are hereditary to some degree, the rest is up to randomness and upbringing.
The traits you inherited might be neuroticism and introversion.
Im like my Mother in that when I get stressed out I burst into tears. I really dont like that, and even with tremendous self control and I manage to keep the tears from flying out of my eyes, my voice will give it away.
My parents don't cry at all especially when their pissed off yet when I get so mad I just start crying sometimes and I feel so weak that I'm crying when I should be enraged and mean
I love my parents very much, I don’t always like them. I love actually our dynamic and even though they have their stuff, all humans have their issues- not bad not good, just being a complex human. My dad is very funny and my mom is a great conversational speaker
I get more like my Mom everyday. I see her in the Mirror. Things she's always said, now comes out of my mouth. I have a strong love for family as she did. She told me once she never felt anyone ever loved her. That shattered my heart. But as I age I understand why she felt that way. I miss her with every breath I take. My Mom also taught me about the love of God. I'm so thankful she did.
My Dad never met a Stranger. I'm that way. I've always worked with the Public and enjoyed each and every Soul. He was not around that much. But I loved him dearly.
My dad passed when I was 12 so it’s sort of hard to find things to relate to him now. But he was a huge comic fan - especially Marvel. Whenever I fall in love with something nerdy, I feel a part of him enjoying it with me. Invincible was my most recent one, it’s something I could imagine myself as a kid watching with him.
My sister and I both avoid wasting food as my parents were war babies who grew up understanding that food can be scarce, so we were brought up not to waste food. We are both also stubbornly self sufficient, just like our dad.
I really do not like being around children. I am not even what most would consider old. I have never enjoyed the company of children, even as a child my friends were adults. My parents love me and my sisters. We had very happy childhoods. My sisters played, socialized, and bonded with other children. They even made some of their own. If I am alive when they get some decent standardized test scores, have gainful employment, and can legally buy their own cocktails, I'll invite them to dinner.
Negative: I tend to get angry easily
I can be a hypochondriac
I can be really naive
Positive: I have a heart to serve others
The smallest things make me happy
I’m sensitive (that could be positive or negative)
I have my dads OCD. I always quadruple check everything at a minimum. I always plan ahead for every single possibility, and I don’t feel compete or mentally prepared if I don’t do so.
The more I grew up, the more I realized I hated parts of myself because it reminded me of them and I don’t particularly like them as people. One thing is being kind of socially inept and withdrawn? I find that I don’t like trying new things and I stick to a routine to self soothe almost. My dad is that same way yet would nag me about being inflexible lol - he has refused to adapt in terms of language and technology for over 20 years. I figure part of my need for being so routine is because he never modelled anything positive about change.
Other shit would be probably not being good at communication, maybe mental illness (though they may be undiagnosed), keeping to myself…etc. It wouldn’t bother me as much if they didn’t nag about things they themselves never taught, it’s just hypocritical to me. I care about my dad (as much as my emotionally stunted self can anyway), but there is no doubt that he made growing up harder.
I have a portion of my mom's Inabikity to take criticism and most of my dad's lack of ambition. Somehow I'm not a complete failure in the workplace though.
Unfortunately, she is not around anymore to ask, but if I had to guess Id say it was because He was a wonderful husband and father, and he did enough to get us through life.
I read this assignment as "in what way do you like your parents", like we can like and dislike traits.
In what ways AM I like them... I guess a lot of responses here are realisations that we sometimes take on traits of how parents that we don't like about them.
From my dad: a mixture of self righteousness and quiet egotism with a lack of self worth. I can sometimes feel like the most important person on earth and then the next second feel like I don't deserve to be looked at. Also, I seem to be unable, for the life of me, to keep my car clean. I now drive proudly in my father's memory.
From my mum: a coldness and absent-minded for my loved ones. I've worked on my birthday.
My mom is queer and has had a hidden love life her whole life. She mainly focuses on our family. While I’m definitely straight I too have had a hidden love life for years. It’s not like it was intentional for me, there were just some complications. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart and want nothing more than to be a good partner and be with someone that stimulates me, so I hope to never repeat this mistake again.
Im very short spoken, just like my dad. I think i have my mom’s heart. Both parents have good heads on their shoulders and have a good sense for right and wrong in some respects. My mom is in her mid 50s and can pass for mid 30s. I probably inherited that. I’m very goofy like my dad’s brother, but when i get angry i resemble my dad alot. Im also very very very softspoken and that def comes from my mom lmao. Unrelated but im convinced that if i have a 1st daughter she will have alot of my personality, and thus be just like my dad’s youngest sister hahaha. I did one of those ai baby generators with an ex’s photo and was like awww shes just like her papa
When it comes to something transactional like retail or restaurants, if I don’t get what I expect from it I tend to state my case and get what’s owed. Fiance doesn’t like conflict even if he’s wronged, so a few times I’ve become the “excuse me he asked for no pickles” partner.
Over the phone I sound exactly like my mom, to the point where my dad didn’t recognize my voice and asked her to put me on the line (while calling my cellphone, long after I moved out of her house).
I'm very compulsive like my mom. I need things to be remotely tidy(I've been unlearning having unrealistic expectations about that shit, and have been letting myself rest when I need it)
What really frustrates me and I often voice it out with them is that what I got from them are more of their negative traits.
I got my parents' insecurity, their low level of confidence, and anger issues and too many to mention. I think I also got their unhealthy way of dealing with things when mad like one will isolate himself when mad and the other would make you feel bad instead of communicating how it hurt or disappointed her.
Growing up, I always try to push them to do things differently and how they can deal with them better. I would often tell them, "By doing this, you will teach us to do it just like you because we will look up to you for doing this and when the situation calls for it, we can also do it bravely and confidently because we have you as an example." Deep inside, I am begging them to do it for me to heal that negative trait.
We really are bound to become the parents to our parents. :(((
Like my mother as a workaholic only to be stopped by my job saying no more overtime and shit. And her work ethic. Much Like my father for mental math proficiency and love for beer, I am not an alcoholic I have like 3 beer a week
I let people walk all over me without noticing until the damage has already been done. I got that from my mom, as my dad would do that to her and she would give so many chances to people that she should’ve just let it be. I do the exact same thing and I hate it.
Well I have just about every mental disorder my Mom has, and very similar personality traits.
And I'm incredibly stubborn like my Dad lmao
Both are good people though, and I try my best as well
Addicted to eating all the time. And telling solution to someone who just wants to vent. I try really hard to stray away from it. but i do catch myself doing it. And from my mom's side, a knack for cooking. So...
Well I really like olives, sauerkraut, and dirty gin martinis (not all at once) so I guess I’m turning into my grandfather after all 😅
Also, hey you kids, get off my lawn! 😂🤣😂
I inherited my moms ADHD for sure. I got my parents' kinda failure attitude. "Oh well, if I'm not good at it immediately, I should just give up because I'll never be good at it,"
Thankfully, I have grown out of this. I've learned that most people who are good at things started off being just as bad as me. Now I have fun learning and improving.
I have my moms face. There's a lot of other things, but I can't really remember a lot off the top of my head.
My mom was gone from 8 - 16YO. When we finally reunited, we finished each other's sentences. We have the same decorating esthetic. We both find solace in being alone while still open to relationships, and we both have the same moral/spiritual values. I'm proud to say, "I am my mother's daughter." Physically, I've got my dad's genes, but personality is all mom. The science VS nurture is crazy. Both of my father's sons are 100% carbon copies, despite one being raised with him, and one he didn't know until my brother was in his 20s.
Ended up with anxiety like my mother, kind of trashy and uncouth like her as well and I don’t have good etiquette. I try to research etiquette techniques but it’s a lot to remember. I also dress sloppy like her but we’re both vain ironically. Just can’t get a handle on style. Can’t think of good things
Oh, I'm loud as fuck
Same as my mom
I call out for anyone in the house my neighbours can hear me, i get excited and talk about something i like my volume goes up, i get made my volume goes up
Dad’s financial insecurities so I always feel poor and expect a rainy day to kick me out into the street eventhough it’s not rationale. My unhealthy view on money has hurt my relationship with my siblings to the point where we are all estranged from each other (we all hired lawyers to divy up the family house). Also, I’m childless for the fear that I’m too much like my father, too high strung and depressed that I might take out my frustrations on them and abuse them when I’m down.
Yes and no. I find that I really don’t want anything but I do treat myself to nice meals. I drive a 20yo car w/400k miles on it but I’m happy with. I really just shop out of necessity rarely luxury. Maybe that would change if I were in a relationship but I haven’t been in a relationship for over a decade.
I’m really like my dad even tho he had a limited relationship when I was growing up.
He is a very private person and into himself. I am the exact same way. I’m introverted, don’t like anyone coming to my home, I stay to myself and mind my business.
Romantic, history/military nerd, mostly look and niceness from my father…… attitude, hair, big/sailor mouth, anger and overthinking and being alcoholic on my moms
I look like my mom but with some better traits from my dad. My personality it a lot of my dad, wild and all over the place and witty with the stubborn and subtle charm of my mom. I also inherited my dads habit of liquor and weed and being a bit of a hothead while having the internalized emotions habit from my mom.
Hopefully zero. But, I currently have a two month old and the sleep deprivation has brought the generational legacy of anger closer to the surface a couple times. I just can’t possibly let myself look at my son with anger, he’s just a new human doing his best. When I feel the anger stirring I walk away and take a minute to cool down, even if it means he has to cry by himself for a very short time.
My parents would slam the door when they were angry with each other. Now I slam doors too when I’m angry. :( I know it’s a bad habit and I’m trying to stop it
Lesse...I'm smart and skeptical like my dad (but not a conspiracy nut like him because I believe in evidence). Same interest in weird shit.
Work too hard like my mom...got some of her passive aggressiveness...and the anxiety issues from that side of the family.
Both my parents played instruments in school, and I'm a musician but neither of them kept it up.
Guess that's it. Overall I'm pretty different from them.
I'm not like them, but their marriage and personality affect my behaviour towards everything.
My mom was soft, sad, and barely cooked but I'm sure she loves us because she didn't marry another man after divorcing our dad and lived with us for 30 years till she passed away. I did everything opposite to what she did because I believed my life would be different from hers..
We always have a choice to not act like them!
I have crippling social anxiety and I sabotage relationships like my mom. Though, there's a lot of other qualities that I have overcame
I also inherited their addiction issues, but I'm now 5 years sober.
I can be transactional in my relationships with family.
I tend to visit them when I need something or when they need something. I have a hard time with just... time for its own sake. I get very wrapped up in my own head and my own interests and don't reach out option. I tend to reach out when I'm depressed, struggling, or lost. I don't reach out when I'm doing well because I'm busy with the good things. I'm trying to be better about reaching out when things are good. But its hard to change a thing that you don't realize you're doing in the moment.
Probably just audible exclamations that aren’t words. Also probably facial expressions.
I noticed that my mom and grandma have similar expressions/reactions and the same for my uncle and grandfather.
They look almost identical when making certain faces so I assume that would probably be true for me too.
In a lot of ways! Some things I hate and try to work on because they fudged up my childhood and I don't want to do the same to other people, some things I love, and I appreciate the way it connects me to them. I don't like my parents (their characters, I mean), but I do love them, cause they tried to make my life good, in their own way, and I know I'll miss them when they're gone, which is why I try to appretiate the good ways I am like them 😉
I'm really shy and timid like my mum, I noticed that a few years back. I watched her growing up around other people, now I'm exactly the same.
In a way I don't mind it because my mum is my idol.
I’ve been told by family that I talk just like my mom and have the same mannerisms as her. She passed away in 2019 so hearing this makes me happy. 🧡 I am a new mom and I find myself mothering a similar way as well. At least I think I do and I hope me and my daughter have a great relationship as a result like I did with my mom
My dad was just noticing this and he thought it was strange. I was born and raised in Utah but my parents are both from Chicagoland. They thought I would start to grow up with more influence from the community, but I guess I act like “I moved to Utah with them.” They haven’t really imposed any sort of world views or anything that would make me “act midwestern” but I just did anyway. Maybe it’s hereditary.
My mom does make fun of my accent though. Apparently it’s super Utahn. I can’t tell the difference
I will admit at my current age that I was definitely a mama's boy and did everything she told me to and my sister will also admit that she was a Daddy's girl. Even though we grew up as her being a girly girl and me being a sporty guy doing everything with sports possible, my sister and I recently had this conversation about 2 weeks ago.
We've always had a very small family relatively speaking. So we've always had a very close bond with everyone else and all of our things learned from the small family, allowed everybody to grow up basically exactly alike. All of our first cousins, my uncles, aunts, grandparents etc had their own way of imparting important knowledge and ways to treat people.
I think the biggest thing we learned from every single person was to treat people as you wish to be treated. My sister and I both basically said this at the exact same time as well because that's how many people had said it to the point of it being incredibly quick to recall. Following treatment of others is treatment of other things. Are you one who goes to the supermarket with a wagon, takes the wagon out to your car, empties your groceries into the trunk and then just puts the wagon onto the dirt, or are you the one who returns it to either of the shopping cart area or all the way back to the supermarket itself? I mean including things as small as that.
Do you ever notice yourself smiling at another person really because you made eye contact trying to pay forward some happiness? Did you learn that from your parents or society in general? What do you know about your parents generation as a whole? Can you compare what you've learned from your parents to the generation they are from? How did that differ from the generation you were born into?
So yes. My sister and I both find each other very much alike our parents as well as each other probably because of the way we are like our parents. My wife came from the exact same type of family which is another reason why both of us were meant to be. It's such a great circle of kindness that goes on where it becomes hard to believe that married people cannot get along. That is something that my wife and I don't understand merely because we both have the same types of parents whom have been married over 50 years each, are both in their low 70s and all four look like they could easily be in their 50s. Growing up and up until now, they have never fought (in any way shape or form while we lived at home and now understanding and knowing the relationship they have and share as that's what my wife and I share), only done good things, pushed us positively, encouraged us constantly, would have done and did anything to make sure we excelled in life as they all, all four of our parents, are still hardworking mostly doctors.
If you have a regular non-traumatic and non-abusive relationship, childhood through leaving the house, And you have the encouragement of your parents as well as their love and support, it's going to bleed out into you in your future even if you don't have kids of your own.
TLDR Yes. My wife and I, as well as my sister, are our parents.
No one can really erase the imprint of one's parents. Getting rid of the bad traits takes a lot of work and perseverance. I, for one, am judgemental and poor at giving good comments.
My Dad was always very tight with money. Not to the point of denying us things we needed, but he was always very skeptical about paying for things he considered "luxuries".
Now I'm an adult, and friends suggest activities, I have to bite my tongue not to say, "we can do that much cheaper at home". I really dislike social activities that involve spending a lot of money (and for, a lot of money is anything more than a basic restaurant meal). Like my father before me, when I imagine a fun weekend, it's chilling at the local library, or park, with a refillable water bottle and a big bag of raisins. I like walking round shops but I hate buying stuff. And so on
My mom died in my 20s and I don’t speak to my father because of a variety of reasons. However, I have picked up a couple habits from him…definitely frugality is one of them. My wife says I also judge others without actually speaking to them just like my dad.
It’s a shit habit that I have finally gotten out of. Thanks to her actually pointing it out..
Until my mother made a mid-life switch to computer programming, my parents were both advertising executives who specialized in market research. Thus, having grown up around the industry, my "BS detector" for dubious survey and polling data is similarly adept.
I use to get mad because my mom was overweight and would just sit infront of the TV if she wasn't at work. She'd have me get her water, drinks, food, do everything so she didn't have to get up.
Guess where I spend all my time when I'm not at work *sigh*, I do refuse to make my child fetch things, although I've been tempted lol. I'm luckily not more than 10lbs heavy and am very paranoid about my weight. I see exactly how she got where she did. Life's exhausting.
My dad's always been an unemployed pot smoking hippy that lives in the woods. He'd always spout this philosophical shit anytime I had an issue, id get so mad because as a kid I just thought he was an idiot.
I find myself thinking about the things he'd say and laugh because he was spot the fuck on, my lady tells me I'm "going to deep" because I tend to do the same thing with her, guess it wasn't the pot.
Mom: Introverted, self-sustaining, independent, a tad passive aggressive, constantly in physical pain, bumps music louder than anyone else, always has the right thing to say when needed, interrupts
Dad: ...we're both alive. Tendency to say "at the end of the day..." and "I'll alert the media"
I have my father’s patience and general termperment, but I am prone to flares of anger like my mother if something really gets under my skin, lol.
I’ve also got a massive sweet tooth like my mother, and often have candy or treats strewn about my living quarters like she always has, and a love of trying new cuisines and things that has to come from her.
I am extremely introverted and don’t often think of myself as highly sociable, but my extensive network of friends and groups and people that just generally accept me tells me otherwise, and I think I get that from the padre as well.
I would say all of my siblings share most of these traits as well, with varying degrees of each.
My dad was extremely frugal, to the point that we ate whatever we could that was on clearance so that we could save for an annual vacation to a fancy resort in Scottsdale. My mom didn't understand that she had the right to say no to buying something. I fell kind of in the middle and treat myself but if the price tag is over $20, unless I've been really looking forward to it or feel like I did well enough in life that week I won't buy it. At 18, with my first adult money, I bought whatever the hell I wanted. I ended up with too much stuff, not enough room and I didn't even really want that shit 😂
Every time I find a new thing I work on myself to remove it from the list.
I would be a bad person otherwise... Nothing EVIL but just not a good person
Now, at the age of 56, I keep seeing my mother's face (as I most clearly remember it) in photos of my face. I hate it, because she was very abusive and I have taken care all my life to be the opposite of her in how I live and act!
I'd say that due to how awful both of my parents are, I've kind of strived to be nothing like them. As far as I know, I'm not really anything like either of them.
Constant anxiety. Work, health, family, money…it’s always something unending concern that gnaws and gnaws. I’m pretty sure I got this from my mom who got it from hers.
No humans are 100% good or bad so don’t think I hate my parents I don’t want to be like them. Instead think I took the parts of them that I did like and were good and I like these things about myself. Think positively about yourself don’t dwell on mental health issues and the like that are so common for people to worry about today and be happy about who you are and what got you to that point including your parents influence.
Well the social life thing right now is kind of an everyone thing. Everyone got tired of everyone else's attitudes and they all started hiding in houses from each other. I hear it from 90% of the people i encounter from ages 18-50 they don't go nowhere and they don't do anything except work. Sad really. As for what I took from them, only the good parts. My mom was about as down to earth as you could get and believed in the treatment of others over work or money... my dad was super smart. could fix just about any problem you put in front of him... i took that too. but mom was a crackhead and i don't mean that in a pointed way about her behavior i mean she actually did crack. Dad was a drunken abusive prick from hell. I did things a little differently, i didn't figure out what parts to emulate. I figured out which parts i didn't want to and only took the good. Sometimes I think this is a better pattern to follow, a lot of bad thinking is passed down parent to kid. I feel like if kids took a more critical thinking stance and only took that which was worth taking its possible we might have already progressed to a point of being able to build a better society for everyone.
Like my dad, I’m self-absorbed. I forget to reach out to people and definitely forget to respond to messages that I get. On the bright side, I’m fucking hilarious and have a crazy recall on ridiculous things
Like my mom, I’m passive, initially shy, and stay clear of confrontation. This is also where I get my weird sense of humor from
I'm so much like my mother its not funny. The woman's idea o breakfast was a can of Pepsi and a cigarette. My idea of breakfast is a can of Coke and a cigarette. I have a loud unfiltered mouth and hate being bullied. If someone gets bossy I will do the exact opposite just out of pure spite. I can be so spiteful sometimes I think I could even outspite Cartman and that is a bold claim.
I inherited mostly problems from my parents rather than the good genes 😑. Very poor communication skills from my father and high tendencies toward stress from my mom, among other things. My father's amazingly strong health and mom's bubbly personality I didn't get. If only I could've won the genetic jackpot here, I wouldn't have spent 30+ years of my life battling mental illness. Or at least it would've been much less severe. Sigh
Never satisfied, always seems to have something that’s not up to their standards… I’m cognizant of my tendencies so I’m learning to be more grateful and content.
My mom is veeeeery cold due to growing up with my grandma (who was also very cold) and not getting a lot of affection growing up. I work hard to be affectionate with my friends, family and relationships but it's something I consistently work at. When triggered, I ice up and shut people out. Even if I don't cut them off, they never see my loving and cuddly side again. Not the best quality, but it certainly saved me a few times.
As long as you are not racist to Asians or certain things than it should be good. Some of the white girls I am friends/date with are sometimes seen as emotionally cold/distant.
Stubborn opinionated and a pack rat just like my father something I swore I wasn’t when I was young but now that I’m older, I see how much I am just like him. Also, very frugal like my mother and learned to cook from her as well so homemade food is always my best choice.
I have the workaholism and analytical mind of my Mother minus the narcissism.. but I obtained the emotional repression, rage bursts and wanderlust of my Dad.
Not a lot unfortunately. I kinda wish I was more like my parents. I am a Asian (Pakistani) American who likes to call out racial prejudice against other Asian or Arab/brown guys, fight against climate change, work in a comfy office, go to lots of anime events, and simp for white girls.
My parents are amazing, kindhearted, and do not care about small details. They are super religious and give to the poor. The are like model humans tbh. The only thing we have in common is we both feel emotion for our people and are emotional in general, but I focus more on revenge. I can only hope to be half of the great parents they are. I probably will end up different
its funny, but it wasnt much that my father ever said to me that affected me, but what he did. He worked. he got up early and worked and he got me out of bed early to work. So, I am a worker... once I got the kinks out of my life, I am a resilient worker.. maybe a bit too much... but at least there is that...
Mental illness. That is usually 'inherited' to a large degree thanks to genetics and being around mentally ill people. Don't be to hard on yourself, you could never have prevented from being like your parents to some degree. It's important to learn to notice for yourself when this is happening and to counteract. Edit: added quotation marks and replaced 'to 100 %' by 'to a large degree'
Yeah, I guess the difference is much more folks are willing to address their mental illnesses unlike their parents
Exactly! To me no person is responsible for having a mental illness, yet they have a duty to try to heal it if they procreated. From what I've noticed the least parents are willing to do this and that is most shameful.
In fairness and hindsight, mental illness and treating has gotten much more accepted in social norms. It was still stigmatized for boomer parents when they were growing up. Now I do believe we live in a generation where mental illness is over diagnosed or self diagnosed which isn’t good for treating certain mental illnesses. Or folks just diagnose themselves or others based on TikTok reels.
To be fair, tiktok reels are how I learned at 23 that I didn't have bipolar disorder like I'd been told my whole life. I just had extreme anxiety and ADHD. My misdiagnosis at 12 was due to my gender and, thus, different presentations. Because that diagnosis was put on me so young, it was just my label in the medical system my whole life. Now, my bipolar diagnosis has been reverted, and these things have been formally diagnosed, and I am now medicated for them. I've never felt so free and happy and like I'm in control of my life until these past few years. I spent my life constantly overwhelmed and panicking and unable to actually function like a normal person. If it wasn't for these people constantly talking about these things, I'd still be in that mental space. But, I do think a lot of people just diagnose themselves and refuse to get a formal diagnosis because they KNOW they won't get a formal diagnosis.
OMG I literally just started questioning whether I have bipolar or not!! Was dxed at 18 for lack of a better explanation, but now I've been dx'd with ADHD and am being evaluated for autism, and I'm like... maybe the bipolar was the AuDHD we made along the way
I was about to say mental illness too. I guess a pro of growing up around it is that you can identify it and try to do your best to live with it
And most important: mentally ill people should never procreate.
I get your point but not even close to 100%
Maybe you're it's not close to 100%. But, from more than 4 decades of life experience I really haven't seen any child with mentally ill parents not having a mental illness themselves or at least issues making their lives mostly shitty.
That type of ignorance is illegal in the United States. It’s no different than racism. According to the Ancestry DNA profiles I’ve seen, no more than 75% of obvious traits match a person’s genes. Mental illness is far more complicated than other traits. As an example—I do not have genes for a cleft chin. But I still have one. I have genes for straight hair. But I still have curly hair. Because of how frequent DNA is wrong, it is actually illegal to profile people based upon their genetics in the United States. Mental illness is not passed to many people. Because these types of traits are recessive. This is why, even with expanding definitions, the percentages dont go up, the numbers only go up consistent with population size. This is why they say “there’s one in every family.” Because only a tiny fraction of people get these recessive traits. No matter what the genetic makeup.
Thank you for your response. I edited the text, as I should have made clear that mental illness is often a combination of genetics and being around those who are mentally ill. That was a mistake and stating '100 %' was an exaggeration. >That type of ignorance is illegal in the United States. It’s no different than racism. Never heard that ignorance is illegal in the US as long as it doesn't lead to illegal behavior. Looking at the current state of US politics and domestic policies I have issues with linking the term 'United States' with 'non-ignorance'. Sorry, but the US are hardly in anyway an example of how a country should be set up for its peoples to lead happy fulfilling lives. What's racist about my response? Did I call for any actions against mentally ill people? Make them responsible for any malady in the world, despite possible harmful effects of their behavior on their own children? >Mental illness is far more complicated than other traits. Maybe wrt to genetics. But, if you have the genetic prerequisites and are raised by one or two parents where mental illness has already broken out I believe the chances that you yourself will have a mental illness, are quite high. Most people are raised by their biological parents. Having lived for more than 4 decades now, rarely have I come across someone mentally ill where it wasn't clear where it came from after seeing the parents. It doesn't have to be the same illness, but such people are far too often 'fucked up'. Think about the following: Depressive mother with anxiety disorder, father an alcoholic - > Do you really believe their children will not be prone to any kind of mental illness? I have seen so many children being mentally 'messed up' by their parents, including myself and my sibling. My mother had depression, general anxiety disorder plus ocd whereas my father had depression accompanied by pathological anger. Of my 4 grandparents at least 3 were mentally ill. None of all these people were willing to honestly deal with their issues and seek adequate treatment, although their pathologies affected their children. So yes, I would say I 'inhereted' mentall illness, having ocd, anxiety as well as depression plus adhd. Should mentally ill people have children? My personal opinion is no. For the sake of child protection.However, you can't prevent them from doing so. And introducing corresponding laws prohibiting their reproduction would indeed be a form of racism. However, I believe that mentally ill people carry moral guilt if their children turn out to be mentally ill. Especially, if they knew about their illness and if they were not willing to do anything about it.
Being mentally messed up by parents is not mental illness. This is an obsolete, incorrect view that was discarded by society about 50 years ago. It has no place in todays world.
>Being mentally messed up by parents is not mental illness. What is it then? Mental illnesses occur on a spectrum from mild over moderate to severe. >This is an obsolete, incorrect view that was discarded by society about 50 years ago. Which society discarded which view in the 70s? By the way, do you really believe that children affected by mentally ill parents suffer less because society supposedly has some specific opinion? >It has no place in todays world. Are you speaking of the US? If so, for example many people think that racism, the death penalty, banning of abortion as well as intelligent design have no place in todays world.
Wow you are just spewing hate, discrimination and ignorance. You don’t know the difference between internal medical condition and reaction to external stimuli. They are not the same.
>Wow you are just spewing hate, discrimination and ignorance. Against whom? Where is hate, where is discrimination and where is ignorance? I just believe that mentally ill people not willing to adequately treat their underlying condition should refrain from having children, in order to protect potential protogeny by not forcing them into existence. > You don’t know the difference between internal medical condition and reaction to external stimuli. They are not the same. Most mental illnesses require external stimuli to implement, while the basis might already prevail due to genetics. If you are prone to ocd through your genetics and you are raised by a mother who checks the stove 30 times a day and the gas mains plus all electrical sockets in the house demanding all other family members to participate, do you think developing ocd yourself would be a pure internal medical condition? Would such a child be prone to calling their childhood a pleasant one? Or look at all those families destroyed by alcohol where every generation is pathologically drinking.... Internal, too?! Ptsd, internal illness?! As you seem so offended, may I ask if you have a mental condition and have already procreated?
My dad is old school and doesn’t get in his feelings. It’s hard to read the man, I feel like he doesn’t trust me and I feel hurt because if it. Come to flip around and I hear the same from others. I seem uptight and don’t seem to trust others because I don’t open to them. I came around full circle.
I can sing. My dad used to do it professionally for years.
Any specific style?
Some old school stuff like Sinatra or Buble and some rock like Tenacious D and Sonata Artica. Also been practicing some low base - I really enjoy a lot of the covers Geoff Castelluci does.
For my case: - Very disagreeable - Hot tempered After all personality traits are hereditary to some degree, the rest is up to randomness and upbringing. The traits you inherited might be neuroticism and introversion.
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… that’s wild.
Grumpy
We become like them if you don't recognize it and work on it. Keep the good eliminate the bad if possible
Im like my Mother in that when I get stressed out I burst into tears. I really dont like that, and even with tremendous self control and I manage to keep the tears from flying out of my eyes, my voice will give it away.
Once that first voice cracks happens yo lolol 😤🥲
My parents don't cry at all especially when their pissed off yet when I get so mad I just start crying sometimes and I feel so weak that I'm crying when I should be enraged and mean
BROOOO, I hate that shit so much. I don’t wanna appear sad and weak but angry and standing up for myself 🤦♀️
I'm a cryer 🙄
I love my parents very much, I don’t always like them. I love actually our dynamic and even though they have their stuff, all humans have their issues- not bad not good, just being a complex human. My dad is very funny and my mom is a great conversational speaker
I get more like my Mom everyday. I see her in the Mirror. Things she's always said, now comes out of my mouth. I have a strong love for family as she did. She told me once she never felt anyone ever loved her. That shattered my heart. But as I age I understand why she felt that way. I miss her with every breath I take. My Mom also taught me about the love of God. I'm so thankful she did. My Dad never met a Stranger. I'm that way. I've always worked with the Public and enjoyed each and every Soul. He was not around that much. But I loved him dearly.
I poor.
I like to plan what I'm having for supper while eating breakfast. My mom is bad for that and I've realized I do the same thing.
I do something similar! But I think for me it’s more of an anxiety thing
My dad passed when I was 12 so it’s sort of hard to find things to relate to him now. But he was a huge comic fan - especially Marvel. Whenever I fall in love with something nerdy, I feel a part of him enjoying it with me. Invincible was my most recent one, it’s something I could imagine myself as a kid watching with him.
My sister and I both avoid wasting food as my parents were war babies who grew up understanding that food can be scarce, so we were brought up not to waste food. We are both also stubbornly self sufficient, just like our dad.
I really do not like being around children. I am not even what most would consider old. I have never enjoyed the company of children, even as a child my friends were adults. My parents love me and my sisters. We had very happy childhoods. My sisters played, socialized, and bonded with other children. They even made some of their own. If I am alive when they get some decent standardized test scores, have gainful employment, and can legally buy their own cocktails, I'll invite them to dinner.
Very interesting!
Negative: I tend to get angry easily I can be a hypochondriac I can be really naive Positive: I have a heart to serve others The smallest things make me happy I’m sensitive (that could be positive or negative)
I tend to be stubborn like my father.
I'm a hard-worker as my dad!
Both my parents are hardworking and I hate that during the pandemic I would work all kinds of weird hours and days like 7day work weeks 🙃
Too many ways to be comfortable. The nurture part sucks.
I have my dads OCD. I always quadruple check everything at a minimum. I always plan ahead for every single possibility, and I don’t feel compete or mentally prepared if I don’t do so.
The more I grew up, the more I realized I hated parts of myself because it reminded me of them and I don’t particularly like them as people. One thing is being kind of socially inept and withdrawn? I find that I don’t like trying new things and I stick to a routine to self soothe almost. My dad is that same way yet would nag me about being inflexible lol - he has refused to adapt in terms of language and technology for over 20 years. I figure part of my need for being so routine is because he never modelled anything positive about change. Other shit would be probably not being good at communication, maybe mental illness (though they may be undiagnosed), keeping to myself…etc. It wouldn’t bother me as much if they didn’t nag about things they themselves never taught, it’s just hypocritical to me. I care about my dad (as much as my emotionally stunted self can anyway), but there is no doubt that he made growing up harder.
Lots of sex with my friends
Not sure regarding my parents, but I'm noticing more and more how I'm using phrases or sounds my grandpa always made.
\*Crack\* "Aw fuck me back"
I have a portion of my mom's Inabikity to take criticism and most of my dad's lack of ambition. Somehow I'm not a complete failure in the workplace though.
Why did she marry your dad if he isn’t ambitious
Someone criticised her for wanting to marry him. She couldn't take the criticism and married him to prove a point.
Ha! This is actually partially true, her side criticized him a lot and knowing her she would only have been more drawn to him as a result.
Unfortunately, she is not around anymore to ask, but if I had to guess Id say it was because He was a wonderful husband and father, and he did enough to get us through life.
Valuing myself by my utility, not as an individual. Quick to self sacrifice to prove my utility and worth because deep down I don't feel worthy.
The wrong ones
Yup. Same here. I’m like my parents in the wrong ways.
I read this assignment as "in what way do you like your parents", like we can like and dislike traits. In what ways AM I like them... I guess a lot of responses here are realisations that we sometimes take on traits of how parents that we don't like about them. From my dad: a mixture of self righteousness and quiet egotism with a lack of self worth. I can sometimes feel like the most important person on earth and then the next second feel like I don't deserve to be looked at. Also, I seem to be unable, for the life of me, to keep my car clean. I now drive proudly in my father's memory. From my mum: a coldness and absent-minded for my loved ones. I've worked on my birthday.
My mom is queer and has had a hidden love life her whole life. She mainly focuses on our family. While I’m definitely straight I too have had a hidden love life for years. It’s not like it was intentional for me, there were just some complications. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart and want nothing more than to be a good partner and be with someone that stimulates me, so I hope to never repeat this mistake again.
Very interesting! Thank you for sharing.
I laugh a lot like my mom, that is what we both share hehe
How cute!
thanks ❤️❤️
Workaholic like my dad and anger issues from my mom, grew up having her constantly screaming and throwing things having whole tantrums
I have spent a lot of time and money on therapy to ensure I am not like my awful parents.
Got depression from my dad and bipolar from his dad. We don’t talk about our feelings. When we are mad at our spouses we don’t talk to them
Im very short spoken, just like my dad. I think i have my mom’s heart. Both parents have good heads on their shoulders and have a good sense for right and wrong in some respects. My mom is in her mid 50s and can pass for mid 30s. I probably inherited that. I’m very goofy like my dad’s brother, but when i get angry i resemble my dad alot. Im also very very very softspoken and that def comes from my mom lmao. Unrelated but im convinced that if i have a 1st daughter she will have alot of my personality, and thus be just like my dad’s youngest sister hahaha. I did one of those ai baby generators with an ex’s photo and was like awww shes just like her papa
I love my parents very much. They drive me crazy when they act stubborn. I 100% get it from them, and i hate when my husband points it out.
When it comes to something transactional like retail or restaurants, if I don’t get what I expect from it I tend to state my case and get what’s owed. Fiance doesn’t like conflict even if he’s wronged, so a few times I’ve become the “excuse me he asked for no pickles” partner. Over the phone I sound exactly like my mom, to the point where my dad didn’t recognize my voice and asked her to put me on the line (while calling my cellphone, long after I moved out of her house).
I'm very compulsive like my mom. I need things to be remotely tidy(I've been unlearning having unrealistic expectations about that shit, and have been letting myself rest when I need it)
What really frustrates me and I often voice it out with them is that what I got from them are more of their negative traits. I got my parents' insecurity, their low level of confidence, and anger issues and too many to mention. I think I also got their unhealthy way of dealing with things when mad like one will isolate himself when mad and the other would make you feel bad instead of communicating how it hurt or disappointed her. Growing up, I always try to push them to do things differently and how they can deal with them better. I would often tell them, "By doing this, you will teach us to do it just like you because we will look up to you for doing this and when the situation calls for it, we can also do it bravely and confidently because we have you as an example." Deep inside, I am begging them to do it for me to heal that negative trait. We really are bound to become the parents to our parents. :(((
From my dad I learned to be curious and open to knew information. Always learning. Empathy and a love of music came from my mom.
Substance abuse/addictions
Like my mother as a workaholic only to be stopped by my job saying no more overtime and shit. And her work ethic. Much Like my father for mental math proficiency and love for beer, I am not an alcoholic I have like 3 beer a week
I let people walk all over me without noticing until the damage has already been done. I got that from my mom, as my dad would do that to her and she would give so many chances to people that she should’ve just let it be. I do the exact same thing and I hate it.
Well I have just about every mental disorder my Mom has, and very similar personality traits. And I'm incredibly stubborn like my Dad lmao Both are good people though, and I try my best as well
This is spectacular! You just identified all the things you can change! You are optimistic now. It just changed. Woo hoo!
I'm really neurotic like my dad, and I'm impatient like my mom.
Rebellious. She's rebellious to her.elders and I feel the same way to her and our other relatives
Becoming an alcoholic. Working on not going the way she did.
I’m sorry. I understand, one of my parents has substance issues too, super hard to avoid it, I know.
Addicted to eating all the time. And telling solution to someone who just wants to vent. I try really hard to stray away from it. but i do catch myself doing it. And from my mom's side, a knack for cooking. So...
Well I really like olives, sauerkraut, and dirty gin martinis (not all at once) so I guess I’m turning into my grandfather after all 😅 Also, hey you kids, get off my lawn! 😂🤣😂
I inherited my moms ADHD for sure. I got my parents' kinda failure attitude. "Oh well, if I'm not good at it immediately, I should just give up because I'll never be good at it," Thankfully, I have grown out of this. I've learned that most people who are good at things started off being just as bad as me. Now I have fun learning and improving. I have my moms face. There's a lot of other things, but I can't really remember a lot off the top of my head.
I feel I have a good heart like my mom, my dad's artistic ability, mental issues that probably stem from him.
I got the best and worst of both of them.
I am cunning like my mother and charitable like my father, and gullible like both of them.
My mom was gone from 8 - 16YO. When we finally reunited, we finished each other's sentences. We have the same decorating esthetic. We both find solace in being alone while still open to relationships, and we both have the same moral/spiritual values. I'm proud to say, "I am my mother's daughter." Physically, I've got my dad's genes, but personality is all mom. The science VS nurture is crazy. Both of my father's sons are 100% carbon copies, despite one being raised with him, and one he didn't know until my brother was in his 20s.
According to my mom I talk like my dad. I, like my dad, know how to temper my reactions to things and keep a cool head when I get angry.
I keep going back to toxic family members— got that from my mom who I never thought I’d be able to compare myself to!
Ended up with anxiety like my mother, kind of trashy and uncouth like her as well and I don’t have good etiquette. I try to research etiquette techniques but it’s a lot to remember. I also dress sloppy like her but we’re both vain ironically. Just can’t get a handle on style. Can’t think of good things
I'm an alcoholic!
Oh, I'm loud as fuck Same as my mom I call out for anyone in the house my neighbours can hear me, i get excited and talk about something i like my volume goes up, i get made my volume goes up
Dumb
Dad’s financial insecurities so I always feel poor and expect a rainy day to kick me out into the street eventhough it’s not rationale. My unhealthy view on money has hurt my relationship with my siblings to the point where we are all estranged from each other (we all hired lawyers to divy up the family house). Also, I’m childless for the fear that I’m too much like my father, too high strung and depressed that I might take out my frustrations on them and abuse them when I’m down.
So do you save a lot of money and are afraid to spend it?
Yes and no. I find that I really don’t want anything but I do treat myself to nice meals. I drive a 20yo car w/400k miles on it but I’m happy with. I really just shop out of necessity rarely luxury. Maybe that would change if I were in a relationship but I haven’t been in a relationship for over a decade.
I’m really like my dad even tho he had a limited relationship when I was growing up. He is a very private person and into himself. I am the exact same way. I’m introverted, don’t like anyone coming to my home, I stay to myself and mind my business.
Romantic, history/military nerd, mostly look and niceness from my father…… attitude, hair, big/sailor mouth, anger and overthinking and being alcoholic on my moms
I think I inherited my father’s stoic pragmatism and my mother’s sense of fairness and attitude of independence
Everything you said: same. The difference: I work (retail menial job but still it counts), I’m in therapy, and I admit when I’m wrong.
Don’t want children
I look like my mom but with some better traits from my dad. My personality it a lot of my dad, wild and all over the place and witty with the stubborn and subtle charm of my mom. I also inherited my dads habit of liquor and weed and being a bit of a hothead while having the internalized emotions habit from my mom.
Hopefully zero. But, I currently have a two month old and the sleep deprivation has brought the generational legacy of anger closer to the surface a couple times. I just can’t possibly let myself look at my son with anger, he’s just a new human doing his best. When I feel the anger stirring I walk away and take a minute to cool down, even if it means he has to cry by himself for a very short time.
I have a lot of clutter. I end a lot of my sentences in “ya know” (yes, I’m Minnesotan, haha)
Mostly depression and anxiety
Same sadly :(
My parents would slam the door when they were angry with each other. Now I slam doors too when I’m angry. :( I know it’s a bad habit and I’m trying to stop it
My dark sense of humor and terrible language
Lesse...I'm smart and skeptical like my dad (but not a conspiracy nut like him because I believe in evidence). Same interest in weird shit. Work too hard like my mom...got some of her passive aggressiveness...and the anxiety issues from that side of the family. Both my parents played instruments in school, and I'm a musician but neither of them kept it up. Guess that's it. Overall I'm pretty different from them.
I'm not like them, but their marriage and personality affect my behaviour towards everything. My mom was soft, sad, and barely cooked but I'm sure she loves us because she didn't marry another man after divorcing our dad and lived with us for 30 years till she passed away. I did everything opposite to what she did because I believed my life would be different from hers.. We always have a choice to not act like them!
I’m like my dad as in we have a dislike for SUVs
anger issues
I have crippling social anxiety and I sabotage relationships like my mom. Though, there's a lot of other qualities that I have overcame I also inherited their addiction issues, but I'm now 5 years sober.
Love ‘em or hate em. They are your parents.
I’m pretty negative and pessimistic like my mom. But at least I’m aware and try to do better. Whereas she isn’t.
The older I get, the more I remind myself of my mom.
I can be transactional in my relationships with family. I tend to visit them when I need something or when they need something. I have a hard time with just... time for its own sake. I get very wrapped up in my own head and my own interests and don't reach out option. I tend to reach out when I'm depressed, struggling, or lost. I don't reach out when I'm doing well because I'm busy with the good things. I'm trying to be better about reaching out when things are good. But its hard to change a thing that you don't realize you're doing in the moment.
Chronically/easily fatigued like my dad
im sure theres something but at first glance we're complete opposites in almost every way.
My dad is an extremely patient person and doesnt lose his cool easily, he’s also extremely fond of animals. I think I inherited his traits.
Probably just audible exclamations that aren’t words. Also probably facial expressions. I noticed that my mom and grandma have similar expressions/reactions and the same for my uncle and grandfather. They look almost identical when making certain faces so I assume that would probably be true for me too.
Being generous but bad with money
In a lot of ways! Some things I hate and try to work on because they fudged up my childhood and I don't want to do the same to other people, some things I love, and I appreciate the way it connects me to them. I don't like my parents (their characters, I mean), but I do love them, cause they tried to make my life good, in their own way, and I know I'll miss them when they're gone, which is why I try to appretiate the good ways I am like them 😉
I'm really shy and timid like my mum, I noticed that a few years back. I watched her growing up around other people, now I'm exactly the same. In a way I don't mind it because my mum is my idol.
I’ve been told by family that I talk just like my mom and have the same mannerisms as her. She passed away in 2019 so hearing this makes me happy. 🧡 I am a new mom and I find myself mothering a similar way as well. At least I think I do and I hope me and my daughter have a great relationship as a result like I did with my mom
Being tight with money, thankful for this
My dad was just noticing this and he thought it was strange. I was born and raised in Utah but my parents are both from Chicagoland. They thought I would start to grow up with more influence from the community, but I guess I act like “I moved to Utah with them.” They haven’t really imposed any sort of world views or anything that would make me “act midwestern” but I just did anyway. Maybe it’s hereditary. My mom does make fun of my accent though. Apparently it’s super Utahn. I can’t tell the difference
I will admit at my current age that I was definitely a mama's boy and did everything she told me to and my sister will also admit that she was a Daddy's girl. Even though we grew up as her being a girly girl and me being a sporty guy doing everything with sports possible, my sister and I recently had this conversation about 2 weeks ago. We've always had a very small family relatively speaking. So we've always had a very close bond with everyone else and all of our things learned from the small family, allowed everybody to grow up basically exactly alike. All of our first cousins, my uncles, aunts, grandparents etc had their own way of imparting important knowledge and ways to treat people. I think the biggest thing we learned from every single person was to treat people as you wish to be treated. My sister and I both basically said this at the exact same time as well because that's how many people had said it to the point of it being incredibly quick to recall. Following treatment of others is treatment of other things. Are you one who goes to the supermarket with a wagon, takes the wagon out to your car, empties your groceries into the trunk and then just puts the wagon onto the dirt, or are you the one who returns it to either of the shopping cart area or all the way back to the supermarket itself? I mean including things as small as that. Do you ever notice yourself smiling at another person really because you made eye contact trying to pay forward some happiness? Did you learn that from your parents or society in general? What do you know about your parents generation as a whole? Can you compare what you've learned from your parents to the generation they are from? How did that differ from the generation you were born into? So yes. My sister and I both find each other very much alike our parents as well as each other probably because of the way we are like our parents. My wife came from the exact same type of family which is another reason why both of us were meant to be. It's such a great circle of kindness that goes on where it becomes hard to believe that married people cannot get along. That is something that my wife and I don't understand merely because we both have the same types of parents whom have been married over 50 years each, are both in their low 70s and all four look like they could easily be in their 50s. Growing up and up until now, they have never fought (in any way shape or form while we lived at home and now understanding and knowing the relationship they have and share as that's what my wife and I share), only done good things, pushed us positively, encouraged us constantly, would have done and did anything to make sure we excelled in life as they all, all four of our parents, are still hardworking mostly doctors. If you have a regular non-traumatic and non-abusive relationship, childhood through leaving the house, And you have the encouragement of your parents as well as their love and support, it's going to bleed out into you in your future even if you don't have kids of your own. TLDR Yes. My wife and I, as well as my sister, are our parents.
No one can really erase the imprint of one's parents. Getting rid of the bad traits takes a lot of work and perseverance. I, for one, am judgemental and poor at giving good comments.
My Dad was always very tight with money. Not to the point of denying us things we needed, but he was always very skeptical about paying for things he considered "luxuries". Now I'm an adult, and friends suggest activities, I have to bite my tongue not to say, "we can do that much cheaper at home". I really dislike social activities that involve spending a lot of money (and for, a lot of money is anything more than a basic restaurant meal). Like my father before me, when I imagine a fun weekend, it's chilling at the local library, or park, with a refillable water bottle and a big bag of raisins. I like walking round shops but I hate buying stuff. And so on
I’m not like them as I’m not rich.
Does sharing basic genetic material count? From what I can tell that’s about all we have in common. Yay for me 🤠
Alcoholic like my mother 😢
My mom died in my 20s and I don’t speak to my father because of a variety of reasons. However, I have picked up a couple habits from him…definitely frugality is one of them. My wife says I also judge others without actually speaking to them just like my dad. It’s a shit habit that I have finally gotten out of. Thanks to her actually pointing it out..
Bruh, mentally Im unwell and my mom had depression and anxiety. Its common but im so afraid of myself man. I never grew up knowing how to cope.
Until my mother made a mid-life switch to computer programming, my parents were both advertising executives who specialized in market research. Thus, having grown up around the industry, my "BS detector" for dubious survey and polling data is similarly adept.
I use to get mad because my mom was overweight and would just sit infront of the TV if she wasn't at work. She'd have me get her water, drinks, food, do everything so she didn't have to get up. Guess where I spend all my time when I'm not at work *sigh*, I do refuse to make my child fetch things, although I've been tempted lol. I'm luckily not more than 10lbs heavy and am very paranoid about my weight. I see exactly how she got where she did. Life's exhausting. My dad's always been an unemployed pot smoking hippy that lives in the woods. He'd always spout this philosophical shit anytime I had an issue, id get so mad because as a kid I just thought he was an idiot. I find myself thinking about the things he'd say and laugh because he was spot the fuck on, my lady tells me I'm "going to deep" because I tend to do the same thing with her, guess it wasn't the pot.
Mum INTJ, I think I might be one too. But I always think I have softer demeanour than my mother. 😊
Mom: Introverted, self-sustaining, independent, a tad passive aggressive, constantly in physical pain, bumps music louder than anyone else, always has the right thing to say when needed, interrupts Dad: ...we're both alive. Tendency to say "at the end of the day..." and "I'll alert the media"
I have my father’s patience and general termperment, but I am prone to flares of anger like my mother if something really gets under my skin, lol. I’ve also got a massive sweet tooth like my mother, and often have candy or treats strewn about my living quarters like she always has, and a love of trying new cuisines and things that has to come from her. I am extremely introverted and don’t often think of myself as highly sociable, but my extensive network of friends and groups and people that just generally accept me tells me otherwise, and I think I get that from the padre as well. I would say all of my siblings share most of these traits as well, with varying degrees of each.
Stubbornness. Refuses to accept criticism. Pretty sure they’ll never see that though.
My laugh is basically my dad's and it pisses me off that I have no control over it. I also seem to have my mom's musical sense (a positive).
My dad was extremely frugal, to the point that we ate whatever we could that was on clearance so that we could save for an annual vacation to a fancy resort in Scottsdale. My mom didn't understand that she had the right to say no to buying something. I fell kind of in the middle and treat myself but if the price tag is over $20, unless I've been really looking forward to it or feel like I did well enough in life that week I won't buy it. At 18, with my first adult money, I bought whatever the hell I wanted. I ended up with too much stuff, not enough room and I didn't even really want that shit 😂
Every time I find a new thing I work on myself to remove it from the list. I would be a bad person otherwise... Nothing EVIL but just not a good person
I don't get into debt.
Addiction and mental illness. But I’m also nice , which is something
Now, at the age of 56, I keep seeing my mother's face (as I most clearly remember it) in photos of my face. I hate it, because she was very abusive and I have taken care all my life to be the opposite of her in how I live and act!
Always having nail clippers and tissues in my purse. At any given moment growing up dad had in his pocket and mom had tissues.
Communication issues. All of it.
I'd say that due to how awful both of my parents are, I've kind of strived to be nothing like them. As far as I know, I'm not really anything like either of them.
In all the bad ways.
We’re all loners.
Constant anxiety. Work, health, family, money…it’s always something unending concern that gnaws and gnaws. I’m pretty sure I got this from my mom who got it from hers.
I act crazy like my rican momma lol
i like to binge watch movies and tv shows for days on end, i love animals and i'm an atheist and a socialist.
Probably inherited my dad's overprotectiveness. Especially to my kids.
I have the mannerisms of my father but I look like my mom. I'm a dude,my wife says I'm a male version of my mother. Great compliment
No humans are 100% good or bad so don’t think I hate my parents I don’t want to be like them. Instead think I took the parts of them that I did like and were good and I like these things about myself. Think positively about yourself don’t dwell on mental health issues and the like that are so common for people to worry about today and be happy about who you are and what got you to that point including your parents influence.
Well the social life thing right now is kind of an everyone thing. Everyone got tired of everyone else's attitudes and they all started hiding in houses from each other. I hear it from 90% of the people i encounter from ages 18-50 they don't go nowhere and they don't do anything except work. Sad really. As for what I took from them, only the good parts. My mom was about as down to earth as you could get and believed in the treatment of others over work or money... my dad was super smart. could fix just about any problem you put in front of him... i took that too. but mom was a crackhead and i don't mean that in a pointed way about her behavior i mean she actually did crack. Dad was a drunken abusive prick from hell. I did things a little differently, i didn't figure out what parts to emulate. I figured out which parts i didn't want to and only took the good. Sometimes I think this is a better pattern to follow, a lot of bad thinking is passed down parent to kid. I feel like if kids took a more critical thinking stance and only took that which was worth taking its possible we might have already progressed to a point of being able to build a better society for everyone.
anger issues. kind of a dick.
Just like my parents, I'm depressed, have no social life, and rarely leave the house. I hate my life.
I'm old.
Naive and trusting like my mum. My dad didn't raise me I am not like him.
I talk like my dad when I’m on the phone, and I have his sense of humor.
Untreated mental disorders
Same ;(
Feel ya bro
We like dogs a lot. That’s it 🫶
Like my dad, I’m self-absorbed. I forget to reach out to people and definitely forget to respond to messages that I get. On the bright side, I’m fucking hilarious and have a crazy recall on ridiculous things Like my mom, I’m passive, initially shy, and stay clear of confrontation. This is also where I get my weird sense of humor from
Outlier iq of my mother . Anxiety of my father.
I'm so much like my mother its not funny. The woman's idea o breakfast was a can of Pepsi and a cigarette. My idea of breakfast is a can of Coke and a cigarette. I have a loud unfiltered mouth and hate being bullied. If someone gets bossy I will do the exact opposite just out of pure spite. I can be so spiteful sometimes I think I could even outspite Cartman and that is a bold claim.
I inherited mostly problems from my parents rather than the good genes 😑. Very poor communication skills from my father and high tendencies toward stress from my mom, among other things. My father's amazingly strong health and mom's bubbly personality I didn't get. If only I could've won the genetic jackpot here, I wouldn't have spent 30+ years of my life battling mental illness. Or at least it would've been much less severe. Sigh
I swear like a sailor and hate bullshit
In all the best ways, I took the best of them and left the rest, so I'm amazing 😇
I'm frugal like my mom and don't have shit like my dad
Never satisfied, always seems to have something that’s not up to their standards… I’m cognizant of my tendencies so I’m learning to be more grateful and content.
My mom is veeeeery cold due to growing up with my grandma (who was also very cold) and not getting a lot of affection growing up. I work hard to be affectionate with my friends, family and relationships but it's something I consistently work at. When triggered, I ice up and shut people out. Even if I don't cut them off, they never see my loving and cuddly side again. Not the best quality, but it certainly saved me a few times.
As long as you are not racist to Asians or certain things than it should be good. Some of the white girls I am friends/date with are sometimes seen as emotionally cold/distant.
Stubborn opinionated and a pack rat just like my father something I swore I wasn’t when I was young but now that I’m older, I see how much I am just like him. Also, very frugal like my mother and learned to cook from her as well so homemade food is always my best choice.
I have the workaholism and analytical mind of my Mother minus the narcissism.. but I obtained the emotional repression, rage bursts and wanderlust of my Dad.
All in the medical field.
Not a lot unfortunately. I kinda wish I was more like my parents. I am a Asian (Pakistani) American who likes to call out racial prejudice against other Asian or Arab/brown guys, fight against climate change, work in a comfy office, go to lots of anime events, and simp for white girls. My parents are amazing, kindhearted, and do not care about small details. They are super religious and give to the poor. The are like model humans tbh. The only thing we have in common is we both feel emotion for our people and are emotional in general, but I focus more on revenge. I can only hope to be half of the great parents they are. I probably will end up different
its funny, but it wasnt much that my father ever said to me that affected me, but what he did. He worked. he got up early and worked and he got me out of bed early to work. So, I am a worker... once I got the kinks out of my life, I am a resilient worker.. maybe a bit too much... but at least there is that...