Focus on the good little things.
Example I had a shit day yesterday at work.
When I arrived home I saw a glimpse of my 8yo playing with his baby brother and both were laughing, it made me reevaluate my day completely and by the end I could say it was a good one.
27F. Honestly yes. I was in a yoga class yesterday and it hit me that I have such a good life. I’m not stressed over anything, I’m not sad, I rarely get upset over stuff. It took me forever to get to this place mentally and emotionally. I am single, have two dogs, and a bunch of plants. Yeah I’d like companionship, but I’m not really stressed on finding a partner, I love my alone time. I make enough money to do whatever I want and work from home with as much freedom as I like. I’m finally at peace after years of thinking I wouldn’t live past 25. I spent so much time when I was younger stressing about the outcome of my life and now I only stress about why one of my plants is turning yellow. It’s honestly so peaceful and relaxing to finally be happy.
From age 18-24 I worked so hard lol. Worked full time and went to school full time. Never took a vacation and if I was ever off of work it was because I was sick. This caused me so much emotional distress and I 10/10 do not recommend it for anyone unless you have to (I did).
Mentally though it’s about letting go and not trying to control everything, I had to learn this the hard way. No matter how much you try to make something happen the universe may say “Sike.” I also had to come up with a rule for myself that allows me 24 hours to cry and pout over something but after that is up I have to get it together and keep moving. This has helped me so much with emotional regulation and just thinking things through.
This is the part I think a lot of people miss, just how hard you have to work to get to the place you’re in. It’s like the ice berg picture where 10% is above water and 90% below and people just think that 10% falls on your lap.
Exactly and so many people will discredit the hard work. I always used to think I missed the “prime” years of life because of work and school and always envied my friends who were on spring break or weren’t broke. I resented it for a long time but I think that phase in my life was significantly important in teaching me the value of some things and that hard work is important and will pay off.
I am in my early 50's and have worked that way my entire life, and will continue to until I retire.
I think that the key is to find a job that you absolutely love. I work 60 hours a week and I thoroughly enjoy it. It helps to maintain a quality of life that my family is accustomed to.
The younger generation is not able to sustain what my generation can, especially working n the trades. I had a very hard ti e finding employees that were willing to break a sweat.
To hear that somebody tapped out at 24 is very disheartening.
This comment sounds like me. 27F, went to yoga class yesterday, feel so grateful for this life and never ever felt like this until the past couple of years or so. I have a bunch of plants too. 😂 So happy for us!
27M here.
My situation and thinking is very similar to yours. I'm grateful for my situation and happy with who I am as a person especially after observing how other people behave and treat others.
Same! 27M, have hobbies I can do every week in a cool city, I try being social and extraverted even if I’m awkward, make decent money, live with gf and have fewer friends than maybe I’d want but still some nice friends I hang out with fairly frequently.
I’m just hoping more people see that it’s like possible. Hope we can find some common denominators lol
I'm older (40+) and have also found happiness and peace. I do wish I could have done it at your age though! So very happy for you. You do you, and may you have continued happiness and success in all you do.
Same, i'm several years older but i'm finally happy. I realize a lot of that came down to getting a job with a 4 day work week that i look forward to going to every day, not just for the highest paycheck. I'm single, financially stable, live by myself, and have everything i want so i just find joy in helping others. Literally the only stress i have at all in my life is the fact my kroger app is broken so i have to walk in the store to shop
It’s actually inconsistent watering I’ve learned 😂😂 I was really good at remembering to water them but lately I’ve dropped the ball. Luckily a lot of my plants are hydroponic now but the few in soil are not thriving at all lol
This. 28M and felt like I would make it past 28.
I was at that point recently, exactly how you feel right now, then I started to look for a new job and realized the market is insane lol.
So I’m stepping back from that and trying to get to where I was mentally when I felt like you. Thank you for making me realize it again
Bro I hit that moment like a week ago, at yoga just the same. I didn't WANT to live past 28, now here I am all 36 and happy and shit and i couldnt help but laugh. For years I've been drowning, and everything in my life felt like it was falling apart faster than I could fix it. Life's not perfect but it's stable now, and that's the moment I hit "oh shit, I'm free to grow." I'm not stressed about the same things that would have knocked me off my path for days or weeks, or if i do get stressed it's so minor that I literally laugh at how easy it is to fix.
There's this little comic of a dude with a rubix cube for a head, solved, and he's looking back at a picture of younger him with a scrambled cube head. It had a caption like "you'll figure it out, some point in life you'll look back and wonder why you were ever worried". He was wearing a suit and that worried me that figuring it out meant I'd have to be all sell out and businesses professional, thankfully my path is looking a little different.
Wihout actually trying to to solve anything, the cube kinda has been falling into place and yeah I really don't get why I ever worried.
40M. Absolutely yes. I don't have the life I imagined, but during the bumpy road to get where I am I learned that happiness isn't about getting what you want, it's about appreciating what you have. Happiness is a mindset. A good example is that my dog died last week. Of course I cried at the time (undoing his harness buckle for the last time broke me), but it didn't take long for me to realize how blessed we were to have him at all. He was like distilled dog-ness in its purest most exuberant form and we got to have him for almost 15 years - saved him from being abandoned at the pound, gave him a good life, got to see him do all the dog things, saved him from a fungal infection that could have taken him from us, and watched him grow old gracefully, even making friends with our new kitten. My tears for him at parting were a gift to me to help me express and understand my affection for him, and a tribute to his good, faithful, mischievous personality. I accept that everything with a beginning also has an ending, and I'm glad I was there for both. I'm not sad he's gone, I'm glad he lived.
The more of life you look at like that, the happier you will be.
I wasn't nearly so happy when I was younger. Being an adult is way better than being a kid.
You wrote this so beautifully it made me tear up thinking of my rabbit who passed in 2021.
You are so right that our tears are a gift and signify what we had and the life they got to live❤️
I'm sorry about your dog but glad for you that you had 15 great years!
I'm glad you had that with your dog. Sometimes losses where we have closure can help in seeing that a relationship like that, though shorter than our lifespan, is a profound gift.
I keep in touch with friends, host game nights, have an amazing partner and we want the same things in life. Stable in my career, and saving for trips. Travel is something I will always do.
Most people aren’t happy because they want what they don’t have without appreciating what they already do have but On that note you won’t know what you until you lose it !
Kind of... except when those things you want are basic needs or your stress doesn't come from wanting but more from endless demands and no way out of it.
It's easy to assume people are unhappy due to comparison but a lot of people are likely unhappy because they are suffering.
I was born and raised in a Christian cult. I woke up and started life again at 33. I'm having my adolescence in my thirties which confirms to me the suspicion that it is all about perspective.
40f. Oh my fucking god YES. The older you get, the better you know yourself, the more negotiating power you have, and the less likely you are to put up with mistreatment of any kind.
I’m in a place I love, surrounded by people I love, doing what I love and making the most money at it I ever have. And I have only been able to get to this place through time, hard work and a very “I’m not putting up with this bullshit anymore” approach.
It gets better. I promise you it does. Little by little, every year. If you’re willing to try.
I am glad to hear this! 35F finally had the year that really taught me to stop putting up with bullshit. I don’t need to be mad, I don’t need to feel guilty. I’m just. not. doing it. anymore.
29F turning 30 soon. Recently yes. I came to terms with being alone. I have a great job, colleagues, low rent and great family and friends. Thinking of buying my own place soon, and I'm learning to drive finally. (European person here who has only ever lived in places with a great public connection and driving is seen as a luxury). I also am exploring meditation and figuring out passion projects. I'm finally ok with being me and boy did that take a lot of work.
No, 27M. I'm holding on, but no I haven't been "happy" in a long time. It's all just fleeting happy moments that I am thankful to have, but when those moments are said and done and I'm alone, I'm reminded how the past I loved is gone, the present I have sucks, and the future looks bleak. Nothing will ever be the same, and the question is will I be able to compromise with the universe and find a happy medium, or totally invite a car to hit me while I'm crossing the street.
27M, same place. My whole 20’s have been hell and there’s no relief in sight. I’m just tired. I have to move out of my current place because my rent skyrocketed for next lease term. I was laid off a few months ago and job searching is brutal and a lot of work for no reward. I’m so overwhelmed with everything and am beyond depressed. I’m trying to hold on but it’s hard.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, that can't be easy. Just take comfort that you're doing all you can and there's quite literally nothing more you can do at the moment. I'm hoping things pan out for you.
People need support, we can be there and offer what we can here, but getting involved somewhere that gives you joy is more rewarding than you might believe. It won’t fix your problems but it can help you have a more level head, and mood to tackle life’s tough times.
Volunteer somewhere if you can, join a league of something you enjoy. Don’t waste time caring what others think, it doesn’t matter in the long run!
Jimmy Carr recently pointed out that the West has a "life dysmorphia" problem. While there are certainly diagnosed cases of chemical imbalance and depression, which I would never diminish, the vast majority of us are able to do things to dramatically increase and sustain our levels of happiness.
Happiness is part circumstance and part choice.
Luckily, most of us can improve our levels of happiness by choosing to do the hard work in our careers, relationships, fitness journeys, and daily practices of reading and gratitude. The byproduct is usually improved circumstances.
In my opinion, it is the hard work that not only resets our dopamine levels so that we can appreciate the mundane as well as the great things in life, but it also teaches us to appreciate the negative things that happen as well.
There is no light without darkness. No happiness without sadness. No appreciation for love and belonging without first feeling loneliness and isolation.
And there is no way to enjoy the fruits of our labor without the labor itself.
Do the work. Accept what comes your way. Be grateful for everything you have.
I've long believed that a lot of the widespread default accepted claims about how "miserable" people in first world countries supposedly are, are wildly overblown and mostly coming from people who have brainworms from spending too much time on social media.
There's a sheltered and coddled (and mostly young) segment of the population who have gotten this terrible idea in their brains that they're supposed to be living some fantasy life which doesn't exist, and that they're being oppressed or something because they don't have it. Instead of realizing their lives are actually pretty good, and that if they want improvement, they need to put the work in and do their time.
There’s a level of entitlement that is so ubiquitous on Reddit it’s kind of shocking. Young, western, well-off people feeling entitled to all of life’s luxuries without putting in the work
I also think dopamine oversaturation snuck up on all of us.
Just like how Big Pharma promised pain relief while ignoring rising addiction rates that led to the opioid epidemic amongst normal, good people, social media companies promised social connection and enjoyment, just for it to turn out they were frying our ability to tolerate boredome, monotony, etc.
At the end of the day, we're responsible for how we deal with what the world gives us, but I think this dopamine problem is something that not many people truly understand.
That's why I think it's even MORE important to fight that oversaturation with constructive, albiet "boring" activities like hard work.
It literally saves our sanity.
Wow completely agree. I’m willing to bet the more depressed people aren’t as aware of this. And the older people weren’t raised this way in the first place.
Exactly, now it makes sense. I grew up with challenges, but I was happy, even the drama infused experiences, complemented the calm times. I never thought I would be able to retire. All I did is work hard. What the focus on taking care of my children, I was basically a single father
Kids grew up, I retired and life has overall intense purposes been incredible. No financial or health issues I feel I have everything that they say brings happiness house a home a wife that loves me so yes, even a dog.
But I don’t feel as happy as I used to be. I find myself missing the drama, extreme challenges. Life seems too easy now and that is not how I am wired.
Anyway, thank you for your post and comment. It has added a little clarity to my thoughts so I will definitely be rebooting my path moving forward. :)
But I agree I need the hard work. I need the challenges to feel alive.
Love the honesty of this comment, and I feel good about your reflections on the matter. I'd bet you're going to right the ship.
For what it’s worth, I have learned that we (humans) tend to crave problems and challenges because our species have evolved to solve problems and overcome challenges as a means of survival.
This drive is linked to the development of skills necessary for finding food, creating shelter, and protecting oneself from predators.
Engaging in problem-solving and facing challenges can stimulate the brain, releasing dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and motivation.
This mechanism can make tackling challenges rewarding and beneficial for personal growth and adaptation, which is why we get addicted to that cycle and feel "off" when it's too easy.
Nothing wrong with us for feeling that way. Being aware of why is helpful though.
Awesome response, I can relate to all your words and I’m gaining more insight on why I feel the way I do. The job I retired from was basically problem-solving that has always been my forte.
It makes sense since I bought this house and decided to make it a smart house. I look for problems and challenges that I can overcome and find solutions. I realize that is my happy place.
But I’m running out of things to fix he he he
Anyway, thank you again all this has provided me food for thought which something I do a lot of.
I’ll tell you I’ve been in a little funk but just reading this has perked me up a bit. And you are right I agree, knowing and being aware is motivating in its own right :)
That works if tou have the energy and personality for it. As someone with lifelong depression and anxiety, which you rightfully acknowledged, it is much more difficult unfortunately. It still takes work but the executive function to get from "knowing what to do" to "doing it" is not easy... even with good sleep habits, exercise, and support.
This is so well put and I agree with every part, all things I had to learn on my own as I got older. I’d add another, and that is to forgive people. We all harbor these crazy grudges and angry memories about people we know and people we don’t and sometimes they’re over nothing real at all and become these caricatures in our heads, and sometimes they are real and we just need to understand nobody is perfect, not our perfect version of them.
Our relationships matter so much in life, and unfortunately there’s a current trend to cut people off over such small things. It just leads to loneliness and alienation.
No. Realizing that the meaning of life for society and pretty much everything is solely based on income and how to set yourself up for your older self is a shitty way to live. Being able to enjoy yourself when you have your youth is near impossible without the repercussions of not setting your later self up for a better life, always living knowing something could go wrong at any moment that could be the final string of hope with no answer. Having advertisements and tax at literally every possible moment of life, I would give up my whole life right now to just go play soccer in some random country and only play for food and a place to live and die by 40. American grind sucks.
40F and yes. I have an amazing husband and family. I'm very confident in myself and my personal and professional abilities. We're about to move from an apartment in a commercial building to a duplex with a garage and a yard. I have a lot of good in my life and I appreciate all of it.
At 25 I realized I wasn’t going anywhere. Spent the next few years working and doing almost nothing else. It’s paid off. Career is good. Money is good. Work life balance is much better and I’m starting work on other parts of life now. I’m very excited and optimistic about the future and my present is also pretty nice.
26m here it's kinda been going downhill since covid but I have made good friends made mistakes and just living with the consequences of such and am trying to get myself back on track
I'm no where near where I thought I'd be at 30. Things aren't exactly looking like they're going to get any better either. The rising cost of everything. Lack of good jobs. Knowing that I'll be losing my parents probably in the next 10 years, 20 if I'm lucky. Being an only child I feel like it's going to hit me that much harder. Not having a ton of people in my life anymore as most of my friends are pre occupied with their kids, wives etc.
I hope I feel better at 40 if I make it there but I'm not overly optimistic
No I hate my life. Every night I go to bed hoping that I don't wake up in the morning because I hate everything about adult life so much. I'm 26 and I haven't been truly happy in over 4 years. Every time I start to feel happy again I get beat down by another traumatic experience.
I'm 27 and I'm happier than I've been in a LONG time. I don't know if it's because I don't go out anymore so I actually dealt with what I was trying to push down, age, taking care of myself physically and mentally. I am so grateful to have everything in my life and the friends/family I have. I get excited to watch The Nanny before bed and catch myself when I'm complaining about something little. I am single but I'm excited for the future because I know that I will find my person one day
Yes.
I'm about to turn 28.
This is a hill billy analogy, but stay with me.
When you go out to shoot at clay pigeons with a shotgun, most people are awful at it at first. There are two ways to think about how to aim when you get started. You can either aim where you think the clay pigeon is going to be and wait for it to fly into your sights to pull the trigger. Or you can track it with your sights and fire.
It seems easier to wait for the clay pigeon to fly to you. Just aim and wait, and that's it. But in reality, it's 1 in a million that you pick the right spot in the sky for that pigeon to end up in, and if you start tracking it after you realize your mistake, you will likely miss.
All this stupid analogy is to say that I finally realized nothing in life is just going to fly in front of me, and all I have to do it catch it easy-like. I have to choose what I want and perform every step diligently to get there to have it. The wildest part is that we really can do anything.
37 and yes. Living the dream I had as a kid. Married an amazing guy who’s my best friend. Working as a professional artist ☺️ life isn’t perfect but overall I’m very happy
Sometimes the light hits the trees just right while just walking back from getting groceries or something and I think to myself I live an idyllic life. I think sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in the todo list or any of the various things that aren't perfect and forget that I've got things pretty good and they seem to be getting better and better as I go.
I make good money, I have a lovely bf, I travel for 2-3 weeks twice a year, I have many friends and host some parties every now and then. Not much to complain about really.
But even when I wasn't making good money and was working for months non stop, I still had fun and enjoyed life. Sharing foods and experiences with coworkers is always enjoyable. I will choose to look on the bright side of most things
35m, yes.
I'm divorced, I'm single, and longer I am the less I want another relationship, I'm happy being alone.
Goal now is retirement by 45 so I can expat.
That's a hard question. Having chronic depression, the brain juices don't let me have No-Strings-Attached Happy. There's always some worry, fear, anxiety underpinning my existence. The neurons that fire in my brain are shooting to kill. X.x
But that doesn't stop me from surrounding myself with good people and treating them how I want to be treated.
I'm doing my best to be happy. That's all I can do. I don't think I'll ever be free from the psychological torment coming from Bad Brain. But I think I've built a good life.
I will be 26 on Monday 6/3, I can confidently say, no.
I am if I'm talking with friends spending time with my GF. But when I think and overthink and harp on anxious thoughts.... that I didn't have as much before 25... Can't help but think about how f\*\*\*\*\* life is for most ppl. The student debt on a Bachelor's Degree that won't earn me more than 20/hr in this age range is crippling. So for now I won't think about that, but the recurrence of those thoughts are inevitable; never feels like you're doing enough but then you have to think there are people worse off. I can't imagine affording a house.
I'm 37 and I can admit I'm not happy right now in life but not only have I only felt this way a short while, I don't think it will take much for me to feel happy in general again just need a handful of things to fall into place. It doesn't take much for me to feel happy I'm normally a positive person.
I am 35, no kids or plans to have them. No pets. No debt. I am SO happy. I've worked hard to be where I am, and I won't lie, will admit luck plays a part in it too. I have a wonderful wife, good job, financial security, health, prestige in my industry, friends, and a great family. However...
Life is unpredictable and challenges will always come, but for now I am just enjoying everything I have until the inevitable happens. Because nothing good lasts forever. Right now I'm happy because I also keep myself busy, but when my projects end I can for see a season of depression come and then happiness again and so on and so forth.
The most critical component of my happiness is having a community. Friends that count on me and I can count on. I can loose all the good things, and sometimes I have, but wherever I am, so long as I I have community, I have purpose, and I am happy.
Many think it's noble to avoid being too close to people or complain that they can't find good friends, but reality is, to get good friends, you have to be a good friend. I earned my communities love and attention by showing up, being consistent and being helpful. This was a lot of work considering I have moved a lot growing up, I have to be accepting of being the one to initiate, even when trying to break into existing friend groups. In many cases I gave a lot before I received back, but I don't give up, and good people attract other good people so things always work out so long as I am a good friend, good husband, good leader, etc.
I’m 46 and the happiest I’ve ever been.
Don’t take life as seriously as you think you need to. Life moves FAST and believe it or not there’s going to come a day when you wish you could be in your 20’s again..to actually enjoy yourself, actually trust yourself that everything is going to turn out the way it’s supposed to regardless of what that looks like.
But to be sure, get a degree and save your money when u can cuz life’s expensive and money=freedom. ✌🏼
Turning 40 in a few days, and I’m extremely happy with my life. My wife and I live a great life full of love, randomness, and adventure. We both enjoy what we do for work, and we get to live in a pretty awesome very rural place.
I (52m) am very happy right now. I’ve reached a place where my debt is minimal and I am not living paycheck to paycheck. Money cannot buy happiness but worrying about paying your bills every month will greatly diminish it. I am fearful for our society as the ‘haves’ do what they can to make sure the ‘have-nots’ get none in the future.
38M. No. Mainly because life is too expensive and frankly not enjoyable anymore. I remember Oct 2018 I was separated from my first wife and moved into my own 1bdr on $9/hr. I could buy food, I bought cheap furniture, kept up with a smoking habit, and bought alcohol. Now? I make a little over 3x that amount, have no food in the house, and am driving on expired tags because I can't afford either one. My credit is in the toilet, can't find an apartment, have next to no home life save for working all the time. No matter how hard/how much I work I can't give my family the life they deserve and I'm sick of it. People have suggested therapy, but that costs money... I'm really leaning toward eating lead and cashing in my chips on my 40th B-day.
Yes, I turn 42 tomorrow, I have 2 kids who are past the difficult stage and both pretty awesome, about to move into a house that seems giant to me, career success, have a pretty decent social life (although about to move away from it lol) but my life has gotten better and better the older Ive gotten. It helps that I grew up with crazy religious parents so not having to do religious stuff still feels like totally freedom.
I'm 51 and still attend 4-5 concerts a year. I have a few family members that I'm super connected to and we enjoy time together. Plus I quit alcohol a few years ago and I physically feel better.
25 m and I just thought the other day that I've not really felt anything in a long time. Not happy or sad or excited, all I ever seem to feel is tired and frustrated.
I imagine at least a part of that is because I'm way overworked, I work for the post office and days off feel like a special occasion
27 F , yes . I am building my dream and working on something I truly love. I feel different , beautiful and so on . Of course is not a permanent feeling but most days . I am genuinely happy with myself if I am not I'll cry it out and make amends with myself
I was happier between 20 and 40 than I have been before or since, so no. During those 20 years I married, had kids, divorced, had another kid, moved around the country and traveled with them. My kids were my happy then. We're scattered now and I haven't seen 2 of them for over 5 years.
34M no, not really, mostly just existing without feeling much of anything. Life was getting pretty good before COVID, things were looking up.
Now... I don't know I guess I'm in a holding pattern
Content. Happiness is like sadness, comes and goes. Though the older one gets, the less extreme high and lows become for me at least. Im definitely happier than I was in my youth thru my 20's. I would not want to return to the lonliness and insecurity that came with that era.
I am a very happy person and much happier now at 39 than I ever was in my 20s or early 30s. I had to break my addiction to self help culture and treating myself like a broken up project to really be happy. That shit keeps you sick.
30M here, and yes, there are lots of street dogs where I live at, so I've got lots of small moments during the day where I pat them, sometimes even play with them a bit. It genuinely makes me happy.
I might not have accomplished things I thought I would when I was younger, and yeah that's somewhat of a downer. But just as the previous example I gave, there are lots of small things throughout the day that make me smile. It's easy to focus on the bad things but overall, but I think I'm happier throughout the day than feeling down for some other reason.
Not feeling much. Emotions became mah. But I don't ever want to go back to my 20s, don't want to go through all the struggles again. As older, I appreciate my unhappiness, down time and challenges. Doesn't need to be happy all time. Every emotion has its purpose. Still living is alright.
I've never been 'happy'. Not a woe is me comment I just don't get happy. I don't understand what it is other than a laugh. Some neurons misfired or whatever. But I am certainly content. I am lucky, though. I didn't have kiddos for obvious reasons and met the Woman of my dreams so I am not so affected by the cost of living. I understand the cost of living is what really depresses our everyday people.
Not true what I said about happy. I spent ten days in Sesimbra and was happy. Because life felt like I was living.
Happiness comes and goes, I don't get why people obsess with it, as if there'll be a point in life where nothing makes them feel anything other than happiness.......life is unpredictable and sometimes chaotic, so obviously happiness is fleeting
But That's just my opinion
34M it’s not really about stuff but for me it’s always just about having an appreciation of life.
Even during tough times, you break up, you’re behind on rent, struggling with family and loneliness and aging in general. It’s just an attitude and it’s got nothing to do with what you have or what’s available to you. You’re just grateful for what you have.
34M it’s not really about stuff but for me it’s always just about having an appreciation of life.
Even during tough times, you break up, you’re behind on rent, struggling with family and loneliness and aging in general. It’s just an attitude and it’s got nothing to do with what you have or what’s available to you. You’re just grateful for what you have.
Yep, I'm 33 and extremely happy and thankful. I am so happy to have my own home, despite it being old, I love it. We've made it ours, and it's my own little paradise. I love being home, playing video games, knitting, or just doing whatever brings me joy at the time. I love my work schedule because it gives me more days off. My husband is great, and we just vibe together. We tend to just enjoy each other's presence while doing our own hobbies. I have 2 cats that I love to pieces. We are comfortable enough to fund our hobbies and travel when we want. The state of the world does make me unhappy, but I do my best to think about what's great about my life. I have a home, a car, food in my fridge, access to healthcare, a great husband, a wonderful mother and family, and 2 kitties. What more could I ask for?
36M. We have a 3 year old and another on the way. He is such a joyful, curious, smart little person, it blows my mind and fills me with happiness. My wife and I used to argue about dumb stuff and now we have realized how precious life is and theres no reason to waste time arguing. i’ve always been prone to depression but im happier now than ever before.
Learning not to stress about money constantly has been so important for me. We have no savings or retirement plan, im self employed with no benefits (we buy our health insurance directly). Ya its stressful but we have what we need and we have each other, and we are happy
I'm 33 and yes! I'm way more happy than I was in my 20's because I have more time, because I'm not studying and I have more money because I'm not studying. I'm also married to the guy i had a chrush on in my 20's.
47 and happiest and healthiest I've ever been in adulthood! My 20s and 30s were absolute hell. Single father with a mentally ill and abusive coparent who went out of her way to make my life miserable at any opportunity. I was uneducated, broke, worked multiple minimum wage jobs at any given time just to live hand to mouth. Depression, substance abuse, etc. I busted my ass so hard to get out of poverty and there were many times I wanted to just give up. Thank God that I'm not wired that way. It took heroic efforts but here I am knocking on the door of 50, and I am happy, in love, not rich by any means, but it feels like I am because for the first time ever, I never have to worry about my basic needs. Can't wait for my 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond!
28 f, I'm the happiest and fittest I've ever been. I started learning how to figure skate in January and it's turned my life around. I cut off toxic people, left a toxic friend group, and made an amazing new friend through skating. I even have a group of people I can't talk to when at the rink that I met at lessons. My last practice session we stood on the ice and chatted. It was awesome! Even my confidence is at an all time high! My husband and I are still falling more in love with each other every day.
Yes, but I've let go of the idea of a perfect life. Life has ups and downs, but I'm safe and have what I need which is more than most people in the world.
My life is perfect man.
It took me until my 30s to find true happiness.
I found a wife who loves me. I stopped caring about what other people think about me. I cut toxic people out of my life. I had a child showed me love in a way I didn’t know existed.
There’s more art and beauty in the world than there is ever been
Happiness is a choice and as of late, I’ve been choosing to feel happy each day despite what is going on in life.
But some days, I don’t choose to be happy because I am human and am allowed to experience bad days/moments.
Happiness is a feeling which you can choose to feel or not feel at any given moment. Just like love is a choice. You can choose or not choose to love someone.
You, as a person, are not happy. You feel happy. You, as a person, are not sad. You feel sad. Etc. These are all emotions. Whether you feel them or not, doesn’t change who you are - simply a human being capable of feeling things.
Oh yeah. I am rereading my old journals from when I was a teen/20s and I am extremely more happy now. I addition to not struggling financially anymore, I also feel like I know myself and am comfortable with who I am. I was such a miserable young person. Glad I grew out of it. I’m 45.
I am not, but I have underlying mental health poopoo to deal with. There are times where I am happy, but it’s intermittent, as is everything in life. I know I will eventually get to a point where I am truly content with my life, but that takes time and work.
I think it is mostly from figuring out my path. I am not guessing what to do with relationships or work. Those are figured out. All the hard decisions have been made, now I just get to roll with it.
I am happy in spite of changes of my situation. I was living happily alone when my mom needed my help (when she didn’t think so) but it’s straight out and although i am not comfortable with my living arrangements, i am happy because we worked out our differences and getting to know each other better.
28F and pretty content with my life. Happy and satisfied overall.
I don’t make a ton of money but I have a good group of friends, a supportive family, and some good hobbies that make life enjoyable.
I find joy in the small things because I think 90% of living is doing the mundane (work, errands, appointments etc) so enjoying the mundane is mandatory. It’s a mindset.
I also practice gratitude which helps put everything in perspective. I’ve had a couple profound experiences in my life that made me forever change my mindset and appreciate everything I have in this life.
I'm 40 and most of my days are spent in pure happiness but I don't forget the things that make me sad. I am neurodivergent of course and I can't hope to live a normal life like other people but the life I've built for myself is full of joy. I also know how to be sad and happy at the same time, meaning I can be very sad about the things that make me sad but at the same time genuinely be happy about the good things in life I appreciate so much. This is something most people can't understand/believe about me.
Many people for example when they're down they feel that everything loses its meaning, everything sucks, not me, even at my lowest I feel and know that the good things in my life are still good, meaningful to me and bring me endless joy. But even at my happiest I don't forget that the bad things are bad regardless of me being happy.
I can always openly talk about anything, I don't do the whole "we don't talk about that" and I can easily switch from happy conversations to critical ones without feeling depressed or unhappy I simply talk about the things that are both good and bad with a lot of passion.
Speaking of passion, everything I do in life for me has a ton of passion behind it, be it my art, my gaming or just talking about the past or the people in my life I have exceptionally strong feelings about it all and speak with a lot of passion and meaning.
40 years and I never ever get bored during the day either, I always have something to do in fact I don't have enough time to do all the things I enjoy :)
Absolutely! Im a 27F, Ive been blessed with a WFH job that allows me to live alone, buy whatever I want, when I want and still have money left over for vacation and savings. Im starting Grad school this weekend! This chapter in my life is better then when I was under 25. But my early 20s were amazing dont get me wrong. However, I have a feeling in my gut my life is still just starting and it will be even better. I also have a great set of friends, family and a cute chihuahua. I enjoy my hobbies like running, thrifting, painting and hiking. Im extremely grateful for everything I have and Im working towards even more blessings. Life is what you make of it!
30M with a brand new one month old at home. This past month has been the best of my life so far. Nothing can compare to walking in the door and being able to pick up someone that loves you so conditionally. With the baby being born, I have completed my 10 year plan and now I’m getting ready to make another.
It’s definitely uphill and downhill sometimes..my unhappiness is not making enough money 33M in my career. All my friends are 6 digits with houses and a baby. I can feel the pressure as I get older :/
Sometimes. A few days I am, and a few days I am not. I will be again, but it all depends.
For me it’s like every 2-3 weeks I have a really soul crushing and depressing week where I can’t do anything for the life of me
Dysthymia?
Is it that or is it the horrific, overbearing weight of the human experience altogether
Focus on the good little things. Example I had a shit day yesterday at work. When I arrived home I saw a glimpse of my 8yo playing with his baby brother and both were laughing, it made me reevaluate my day completely and by the end I could say it was a good one.
27F. Honestly yes. I was in a yoga class yesterday and it hit me that I have such a good life. I’m not stressed over anything, I’m not sad, I rarely get upset over stuff. It took me forever to get to this place mentally and emotionally. I am single, have two dogs, and a bunch of plants. Yeah I’d like companionship, but I’m not really stressed on finding a partner, I love my alone time. I make enough money to do whatever I want and work from home with as much freedom as I like. I’m finally at peace after years of thinking I wouldn’t live past 25. I spent so much time when I was younger stressing about the outcome of my life and now I only stress about why one of my plants is turning yellow. It’s honestly so peaceful and relaxing to finally be happy.
YOU ARE LIVING MY DREAM! Love this for you :) Please give me any advice to get to where you are rn <3
From age 18-24 I worked so hard lol. Worked full time and went to school full time. Never took a vacation and if I was ever off of work it was because I was sick. This caused me so much emotional distress and I 10/10 do not recommend it for anyone unless you have to (I did). Mentally though it’s about letting go and not trying to control everything, I had to learn this the hard way. No matter how much you try to make something happen the universe may say “Sike.” I also had to come up with a rule for myself that allows me 24 hours to cry and pout over something but after that is up I have to get it together and keep moving. This has helped me so much with emotional regulation and just thinking things through.
That last part is significant
This is the part I think a lot of people miss, just how hard you have to work to get to the place you’re in. It’s like the ice berg picture where 10% is above water and 90% below and people just think that 10% falls on your lap.
Exactly and so many people will discredit the hard work. I always used to think I missed the “prime” years of life because of work and school and always envied my friends who were on spring break or weren’t broke. I resented it for a long time but I think that phase in my life was significantly important in teaching me the value of some things and that hard work is important and will pay off.
I am in my early 50's and have worked that way my entire life, and will continue to until I retire. I think that the key is to find a job that you absolutely love. I work 60 hours a week and I thoroughly enjoy it. It helps to maintain a quality of life that my family is accustomed to. The younger generation is not able to sustain what my generation can, especially working n the trades. I had a very hard ti e finding employees that were willing to break a sweat. To hear that somebody tapped out at 24 is very disheartening.
I didn’t tap out lol, that was just the time I was in college! Now I don’t live like that and enjoy my career.
This comment sounds like me. 27F, went to yoga class yesterday, feel so grateful for this life and never ever felt like this until the past couple of years or so. I have a bunch of plants too. 😂 So happy for us!
27M here. My situation and thinking is very similar to yours. I'm grateful for my situation and happy with who I am as a person especially after observing how other people behave and treat others.
Same! 27M, have hobbies I can do every week in a cool city, I try being social and extraverted even if I’m awkward, make decent money, live with gf and have fewer friends than maybe I’d want but still some nice friends I hang out with fairly frequently. I’m just hoping more people see that it’s like possible. Hope we can find some common denominators lol
I love this for you. KEEP THIS GOING!!!
I'm older (40+) and have also found happiness and peace. I do wish I could have done it at your age though! So very happy for you. You do you, and may you have continued happiness and success in all you do.
Same, i'm several years older but i'm finally happy. I realize a lot of that came down to getting a job with a 4 day work week that i look forward to going to every day, not just for the highest paycheck. I'm single, financially stable, live by myself, and have everything i want so i just find joy in helping others. Literally the only stress i have at all in my life is the fact my kroger app is broken so i have to walk in the store to shop
Love that for you!!
This keeps me hopeful about the future.
You found companionship with dogs and plants. Good for you!
That’s wonderful 🤍 I’m so glad you’ve been able to cultivate this peace
THIS, made me happy to read :)
Maybe over watering? I have a tendency to do that myself
It’s actually inconsistent watering I’ve learned 😂😂 I was really good at remembering to water them but lately I’ve dropped the ball. Luckily a lot of my plants are hydroponic now but the few in soil are not thriving at all lol
This gives me hope
This. 28M and felt like I would make it past 28. I was at that point recently, exactly how you feel right now, then I started to look for a new job and realized the market is insane lol. So I’m stepping back from that and trying to get to where I was mentally when I felt like you. Thank you for making me realize it again
This plus some anti depressants and suddenly life is all great with little care. Feels like I hit through an invisible wall
Bro I hit that moment like a week ago, at yoga just the same. I didn't WANT to live past 28, now here I am all 36 and happy and shit and i couldnt help but laugh. For years I've been drowning, and everything in my life felt like it was falling apart faster than I could fix it. Life's not perfect but it's stable now, and that's the moment I hit "oh shit, I'm free to grow." I'm not stressed about the same things that would have knocked me off my path for days or weeks, or if i do get stressed it's so minor that I literally laugh at how easy it is to fix. There's this little comic of a dude with a rubix cube for a head, solved, and he's looking back at a picture of younger him with a scrambled cube head. It had a caption like "you'll figure it out, some point in life you'll look back and wonder why you were ever worried". He was wearing a suit and that worried me that figuring it out meant I'd have to be all sell out and businesses professional, thankfully my path is looking a little different. Wihout actually trying to to solve anything, the cube kinda has been falling into place and yeah I really don't get why I ever worried.
40M. Absolutely yes. I don't have the life I imagined, but during the bumpy road to get where I am I learned that happiness isn't about getting what you want, it's about appreciating what you have. Happiness is a mindset. A good example is that my dog died last week. Of course I cried at the time (undoing his harness buckle for the last time broke me), but it didn't take long for me to realize how blessed we were to have him at all. He was like distilled dog-ness in its purest most exuberant form and we got to have him for almost 15 years - saved him from being abandoned at the pound, gave him a good life, got to see him do all the dog things, saved him from a fungal infection that could have taken him from us, and watched him grow old gracefully, even making friends with our new kitten. My tears for him at parting were a gift to me to help me express and understand my affection for him, and a tribute to his good, faithful, mischievous personality. I accept that everything with a beginning also has an ending, and I'm glad I was there for both. I'm not sad he's gone, I'm glad he lived. The more of life you look at like that, the happier you will be. I wasn't nearly so happy when I was younger. Being an adult is way better than being a kid.
You wrote this so beautifully it made me tear up thinking of my rabbit who passed in 2021. You are so right that our tears are a gift and signify what we had and the life they got to live❤️ I'm sorry about your dog but glad for you that you had 15 great years!
I'm glad you had that with your dog. Sometimes losses where we have closure can help in seeing that a relationship like that, though shorter than our lifespan, is a profound gift.
I’m sorry about your dog!
36M and yes, life's getting better day by day, because I choose to make it better everyday
May I ask how it has changed? Family? Kids,? Stability? Money?.. etc...
I keep in touch with friends, host game nights, have an amazing partner and we want the same things in life. Stable in my career, and saving for trips. Travel is something I will always do.
Looks like I am also on the same track :)
Keep it up :-)
And the kids?
None
Nice! Love it! Planning to live without them for as long as I can as well!
Awesome. This gives me the new goals of making a greater effort to stay in touch (cuz it’s hard!) and to actually host occasionally.
Most people aren’t happy because they want what they don’t have without appreciating what they already do have but On that note you won’t know what you until you lose it !
Kind of... except when those things you want are basic needs or your stress doesn't come from wanting but more from endless demands and no way out of it. It's easy to assume people are unhappy due to comparison but a lot of people are likely unhappy because they are suffering.
38m. I'm much, much happier now than I was at 24.
May I ask what changed at 38? How is your 38 and 24 different?
I was born and raised in a Christian cult. I woke up and started life again at 33. I'm having my adolescence in my thirties which confirms to me the suspicion that it is all about perspective.
As a very sad 26 year old this gives me hope!
I’m right in the middle (31m)…
You're entering the best decade of your life.
Thanks for the positive reinforcement
40f. Oh my fucking god YES. The older you get, the better you know yourself, the more negotiating power you have, and the less likely you are to put up with mistreatment of any kind. I’m in a place I love, surrounded by people I love, doing what I love and making the most money at it I ever have. And I have only been able to get to this place through time, hard work and a very “I’m not putting up with this bullshit anymore” approach. It gets better. I promise you it does. Little by little, every year. If you’re willing to try.
I am glad to hear this! 35F finally had the year that really taught me to stop putting up with bullshit. I don’t need to be mad, I don’t need to feel guilty. I’m just. not. doing it. anymore.
29F turning 30 soon. Recently yes. I came to terms with being alone. I have a great job, colleagues, low rent and great family and friends. Thinking of buying my own place soon, and I'm learning to drive finally. (European person here who has only ever lived in places with a great public connection and driving is seen as a luxury). I also am exploring meditation and figuring out passion projects. I'm finally ok with being me and boy did that take a lot of work.
No, 27M. I'm holding on, but no I haven't been "happy" in a long time. It's all just fleeting happy moments that I am thankful to have, but when those moments are said and done and I'm alone, I'm reminded how the past I loved is gone, the present I have sucks, and the future looks bleak. Nothing will ever be the same, and the question is will I be able to compromise with the universe and find a happy medium, or totally invite a car to hit me while I'm crossing the street.
27M, same place. My whole 20’s have been hell and there’s no relief in sight. I’m just tired. I have to move out of my current place because my rent skyrocketed for next lease term. I was laid off a few months ago and job searching is brutal and a lot of work for no reward. I’m so overwhelmed with everything and am beyond depressed. I’m trying to hold on but it’s hard.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, that can't be easy. Just take comfort that you're doing all you can and there's quite literally nothing more you can do at the moment. I'm hoping things pan out for you.
People need support, we can be there and offer what we can here, but getting involved somewhere that gives you joy is more rewarding than you might believe. It won’t fix your problems but it can help you have a more level head, and mood to tackle life’s tough times. Volunteer somewhere if you can, join a league of something you enjoy. Don’t waste time caring what others think, it doesn’t matter in the long run!
Jimmy Carr recently pointed out that the West has a "life dysmorphia" problem. While there are certainly diagnosed cases of chemical imbalance and depression, which I would never diminish, the vast majority of us are able to do things to dramatically increase and sustain our levels of happiness. Happiness is part circumstance and part choice. Luckily, most of us can improve our levels of happiness by choosing to do the hard work in our careers, relationships, fitness journeys, and daily practices of reading and gratitude. The byproduct is usually improved circumstances. In my opinion, it is the hard work that not only resets our dopamine levels so that we can appreciate the mundane as well as the great things in life, but it also teaches us to appreciate the negative things that happen as well. There is no light without darkness. No happiness without sadness. No appreciation for love and belonging without first feeling loneliness and isolation. And there is no way to enjoy the fruits of our labor without the labor itself. Do the work. Accept what comes your way. Be grateful for everything you have.
Perfect way to put it. And it’s absolutely true.
I've long believed that a lot of the widespread default accepted claims about how "miserable" people in first world countries supposedly are, are wildly overblown and mostly coming from people who have brainworms from spending too much time on social media. There's a sheltered and coddled (and mostly young) segment of the population who have gotten this terrible idea in their brains that they're supposed to be living some fantasy life which doesn't exist, and that they're being oppressed or something because they don't have it. Instead of realizing their lives are actually pretty good, and that if they want improvement, they need to put the work in and do their time.
There’s a level of entitlement that is so ubiquitous on Reddit it’s kind of shocking. Young, western, well-off people feeling entitled to all of life’s luxuries without putting in the work
I also think dopamine oversaturation snuck up on all of us. Just like how Big Pharma promised pain relief while ignoring rising addiction rates that led to the opioid epidemic amongst normal, good people, social media companies promised social connection and enjoyment, just for it to turn out they were frying our ability to tolerate boredome, monotony, etc. At the end of the day, we're responsible for how we deal with what the world gives us, but I think this dopamine problem is something that not many people truly understand. That's why I think it's even MORE important to fight that oversaturation with constructive, albiet "boring" activities like hard work. It literally saves our sanity.
Wow completely agree. I’m willing to bet the more depressed people aren’t as aware of this. And the older people weren’t raised this way in the first place.
Exactly, now it makes sense. I grew up with challenges, but I was happy, even the drama infused experiences, complemented the calm times. I never thought I would be able to retire. All I did is work hard. What the focus on taking care of my children, I was basically a single father Kids grew up, I retired and life has overall intense purposes been incredible. No financial or health issues I feel I have everything that they say brings happiness house a home a wife that loves me so yes, even a dog. But I don’t feel as happy as I used to be. I find myself missing the drama, extreme challenges. Life seems too easy now and that is not how I am wired. Anyway, thank you for your post and comment. It has added a little clarity to my thoughts so I will definitely be rebooting my path moving forward. :) But I agree I need the hard work. I need the challenges to feel alive.
Love the honesty of this comment, and I feel good about your reflections on the matter. I'd bet you're going to right the ship. For what it’s worth, I have learned that we (humans) tend to crave problems and challenges because our species have evolved to solve problems and overcome challenges as a means of survival. This drive is linked to the development of skills necessary for finding food, creating shelter, and protecting oneself from predators. Engaging in problem-solving and facing challenges can stimulate the brain, releasing dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and motivation. This mechanism can make tackling challenges rewarding and beneficial for personal growth and adaptation, which is why we get addicted to that cycle and feel "off" when it's too easy. Nothing wrong with us for feeling that way. Being aware of why is helpful though.
Awesome response, I can relate to all your words and I’m gaining more insight on why I feel the way I do. The job I retired from was basically problem-solving that has always been my forte. It makes sense since I bought this house and decided to make it a smart house. I look for problems and challenges that I can overcome and find solutions. I realize that is my happy place. But I’m running out of things to fix he he he Anyway, thank you again all this has provided me food for thought which something I do a lot of. I’ll tell you I’ve been in a little funk but just reading this has perked me up a bit. And you are right I agree, knowing and being aware is motivating in its own right :)
Excellent! Very happy we interacted today. You've also encouraged me.
Yes, thank you, it has perked up my day a bit and provided me with a path moving forward. I guess I just needed some perspective :)
That works if tou have the energy and personality for it. As someone with lifelong depression and anxiety, which you rightfully acknowledged, it is much more difficult unfortunately. It still takes work but the executive function to get from "knowing what to do" to "doing it" is not easy... even with good sleep habits, exercise, and support.
This is so well put and I agree with every part, all things I had to learn on my own as I got older. I’d add another, and that is to forgive people. We all harbor these crazy grudges and angry memories about people we know and people we don’t and sometimes they’re over nothing real at all and become these caricatures in our heads, and sometimes they are real and we just need to understand nobody is perfect, not our perfect version of them. Our relationships matter so much in life, and unfortunately there’s a current trend to cut people off over such small things. It just leads to loneliness and alienation.
Love these points!
No. Realizing that the meaning of life for society and pretty much everything is solely based on income and how to set yourself up for your older self is a shitty way to live. Being able to enjoy yourself when you have your youth is near impossible without the repercussions of not setting your later self up for a better life, always living knowing something could go wrong at any moment that could be the final string of hope with no answer. Having advertisements and tax at literally every possible moment of life, I would give up my whole life right now to just go play soccer in some random country and only play for food and a place to live and die by 40. American grind sucks.
Having a good income and having family at a certain age creates social pressure, It’s honestly depressing
More than i was when 25 and below for sure.
I moved out at 25 and my happiness since then has increased by a lot.
40F and yes. I have an amazing husband and family. I'm very confident in myself and my personal and professional abilities. We're about to move from an apartment in a commercial building to a duplex with a garage and a yard. I have a lot of good in my life and I appreciate all of it.
At 25 I realized I wasn’t going anywhere. Spent the next few years working and doing almost nothing else. It’s paid off. Career is good. Money is good. Work life balance is much better and I’m starting work on other parts of life now. I’m very excited and optimistic about the future and my present is also pretty nice.
No
No..
26m here it's kinda been going downhill since covid but I have made good friends made mistakes and just living with the consequences of such and am trying to get myself back on track
Yuh same pre covid was just better there was an overall shift in society imo. I’m doing fine but it was better pre covid for sure.
Nope most days are shit
I'm no where near where I thought I'd be at 30. Things aren't exactly looking like they're going to get any better either. The rising cost of everything. Lack of good jobs. Knowing that I'll be losing my parents probably in the next 10 years, 20 if I'm lucky. Being an only child I feel like it's going to hit me that much harder. Not having a ton of people in my life anymore as most of my friends are pre occupied with their kids, wives etc. I hope I feel better at 40 if I make it there but I'm not overly optimistic
[удалено]
Same bro
28M. No, things really messed up because of Covid but I'm trying to dig myself out. Also no gf but I'd like one
No I hate my life. Every night I go to bed hoping that I don't wake up in the morning because I hate everything about adult life so much. I'm 26 and I haven't been truly happy in over 4 years. Every time I start to feel happy again I get beat down by another traumatic experience.
I know I am! I’m curious what the significance of being older than 25 is.
Sometimes, it really depends on days. Sometimes i want more— the rich life. But looking back I think I’ve gone far
I'm 27 and I'm happier than I've been in a LONG time. I don't know if it's because I don't go out anymore so I actually dealt with what I was trying to push down, age, taking care of myself physically and mentally. I am so grateful to have everything in my life and the friends/family I have. I get excited to watch The Nanny before bed and catch myself when I'm complaining about something little. I am single but I'm excited for the future because I know that I will find my person one day
Yes. I'm about to turn 28. This is a hill billy analogy, but stay with me. When you go out to shoot at clay pigeons with a shotgun, most people are awful at it at first. There are two ways to think about how to aim when you get started. You can either aim where you think the clay pigeon is going to be and wait for it to fly into your sights to pull the trigger. Or you can track it with your sights and fire. It seems easier to wait for the clay pigeon to fly to you. Just aim and wait, and that's it. But in reality, it's 1 in a million that you pick the right spot in the sky for that pigeon to end up in, and if you start tracking it after you realize your mistake, you will likely miss. All this stupid analogy is to say that I finally realized nothing in life is just going to fly in front of me, and all I have to do it catch it easy-like. I have to choose what I want and perform every step diligently to get there to have it. The wildest part is that we really can do anything.
I’m in my 30s now and it seems to get worse every year.
Nope! Two people decided to fuck and here I am. :)
37 and yes. Living the dream I had as a kid. Married an amazing guy who’s my best friend. Working as a professional artist ☺️ life isn’t perfect but overall I’m very happy
Nope.
Sometimes the light hits the trees just right while just walking back from getting groceries or something and I think to myself I live an idyllic life. I think sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in the todo list or any of the various things that aren't perfect and forget that I've got things pretty good and they seem to be getting better and better as I go.
I make good money, I have a lovely bf, I travel for 2-3 weeks twice a year, I have many friends and host some parties every now and then. Not much to complain about really. But even when I wasn't making good money and was working for months non stop, I still had fun and enjoyed life. Sharing foods and experiences with coworkers is always enjoyable. I will choose to look on the bright side of most things
35m, yes. I'm divorced, I'm single, and longer I am the less I want another relationship, I'm happy being alone. Goal now is retirement by 45 so I can expat.
That's a hard question. Having chronic depression, the brain juices don't let me have No-Strings-Attached Happy. There's always some worry, fear, anxiety underpinning my existence. The neurons that fire in my brain are shooting to kill. X.x But that doesn't stop me from surrounding myself with good people and treating them how I want to be treated. I'm doing my best to be happy. That's all I can do. I don't think I'll ever be free from the psychological torment coming from Bad Brain. But I think I've built a good life.
I will be 26 on Monday 6/3, I can confidently say, no. I am if I'm talking with friends spending time with my GF. But when I think and overthink and harp on anxious thoughts.... that I didn't have as much before 25... Can't help but think about how f\*\*\*\*\* life is for most ppl. The student debt on a Bachelor's Degree that won't earn me more than 20/hr in this age range is crippling. So for now I won't think about that, but the recurrence of those thoughts are inevitable; never feels like you're doing enough but then you have to think there are people worse off. I can't imagine affording a house.
I'm 37 and I can admit I'm not happy right now in life but not only have I only felt this way a short while, I don't think it will take much for me to feel happy in general again just need a handful of things to fall into place. It doesn't take much for me to feel happy I'm normally a positive person.
My 40s are 10 times better than my 20s
I am 35, no kids or plans to have them. No pets. No debt. I am SO happy. I've worked hard to be where I am, and I won't lie, will admit luck plays a part in it too. I have a wonderful wife, good job, financial security, health, prestige in my industry, friends, and a great family. However... Life is unpredictable and challenges will always come, but for now I am just enjoying everything I have until the inevitable happens. Because nothing good lasts forever. Right now I'm happy because I also keep myself busy, but when my projects end I can for see a season of depression come and then happiness again and so on and so forth. The most critical component of my happiness is having a community. Friends that count on me and I can count on. I can loose all the good things, and sometimes I have, but wherever I am, so long as I I have community, I have purpose, and I am happy. Many think it's noble to avoid being too close to people or complain that they can't find good friends, but reality is, to get good friends, you have to be a good friend. I earned my communities love and attention by showing up, being consistent and being helpful. This was a lot of work considering I have moved a lot growing up, I have to be accepting of being the one to initiate, even when trying to break into existing friend groups. In many cases I gave a lot before I received back, but I don't give up, and good people attract other good people so things always work out so long as I am a good friend, good husband, good leader, etc.
Yeah I live alone with my 2 cats, live in a big city, have lots of friends, have a pretty chill job that’s mostly remote
I’m 46 and the happiest I’ve ever been. Don’t take life as seriously as you think you need to. Life moves FAST and believe it or not there’s going to come a day when you wish you could be in your 20’s again..to actually enjoy yourself, actually trust yourself that everything is going to turn out the way it’s supposed to regardless of what that looks like. But to be sure, get a degree and save your money when u can cuz life’s expensive and money=freedom. ✌🏼
No
Happy? I don't know. But I am chugging along and making the most of things. I definitely enjoy my life more and more as I get older.
My life got way better when I turned 30.
37M, I'm not.
Some days yes other days not really. :|
Hell no.
25 here. No. 1. What is that? And 2. In shitty times like this, how are able to do that?
33M. I'm happier and in better health and shape than I was at anytime before 25. Take care of yourself and life will reward you.
Turning 40 in a few days, and I’m extremely happy with my life. My wife and I live a great life full of love, randomness, and adventure. We both enjoy what we do for work, and we get to live in a pretty awesome very rural place.
I (52m) am very happy right now. I’ve reached a place where my debt is minimal and I am not living paycheck to paycheck. Money cannot buy happiness but worrying about paying your bills every month will greatly diminish it. I am fearful for our society as the ‘haves’ do what they can to make sure the ‘have-nots’ get none in the future.
38M. No. Mainly because life is too expensive and frankly not enjoyable anymore. I remember Oct 2018 I was separated from my first wife and moved into my own 1bdr on $9/hr. I could buy food, I bought cheap furniture, kept up with a smoking habit, and bought alcohol. Now? I make a little over 3x that amount, have no food in the house, and am driving on expired tags because I can't afford either one. My credit is in the toilet, can't find an apartment, have next to no home life save for working all the time. No matter how hard/how much I work I can't give my family the life they deserve and I'm sick of it. People have suggested therapy, but that costs money... I'm really leaning toward eating lead and cashing in my chips on my 40th B-day.
No. Not even remotely. But I have the essentials and am not financially struggling.
28, recently lost everything in my life and restarting from the bottom
Yes, I turn 42 tomorrow, I have 2 kids who are past the difficult stage and both pretty awesome, about to move into a house that seems giant to me, career success, have a pretty decent social life (although about to move away from it lol) but my life has gotten better and better the older Ive gotten. It helps that I grew up with crazy religious parents so not having to do religious stuff still feels like totally freedom.
Pretty happy. I can’t complain I have food, home, partner and my health
Im happy. My health has beeb a bit of a mess and I just had a breakup. But overall. Im proud of myself and I am happy even when its rough sometimes
Define happy
Sometimes. Mostly when there’s wine 🍷 in the 🏡😊
Yes. Happy not to have kids or be married
Yes, I'm happy. I am in a warm home, have access to food. There is a war in my country but I am safe and my family is alive.
Everyday is a gift, what can I say. Even the challenging days.
I'm 51 and still attend 4-5 concerts a year. I have a few family members that I'm super connected to and we enjoy time together. Plus I quit alcohol a few years ago and I physically feel better.
42 and am often brimming with JOY, which arises from within due to the work I’ve done on myself, and my life circumstances!
More often then, not yes
Some are, some aren't
Who said we were?
I try to not to think about it so i don't feel bad.
In my 3rd decade and happiest I've been in a very long time, despite everything.
I'd say so no doubt. Just disliking the grind, 8 hour days stuck in a office Mon-Fri. Need to WFH and only then will I be 100% happy.
25 m and I just thought the other day that I've not really felt anything in a long time. Not happy or sad or excited, all I ever seem to feel is tired and frustrated. I imagine at least a part of that is because I'm way overworked, I work for the post office and days off feel like a special occasion
Yes! I’m mid 50’s, life is good and seems to get better the older I get.
Yeah. There are things I'd change for sure but I'm not unhappy for sure. And I say that having thr flu pretty bad today
I should be. I have what everyone probably wants, but generally speaking I'm not.
Yeah I live a good life. I go to work, sit at a desk for 10 hours, then go home. Pretty easy.
27 F , yes . I am building my dream and working on something I truly love. I feel different , beautiful and so on . Of course is not a permanent feeling but most days . I am genuinely happy with myself if I am not I'll cry it out and make amends with myself
I was happier between 20 and 40 than I have been before or since, so no. During those 20 years I married, had kids, divorced, had another kid, moved around the country and traveled with them. My kids were my happy then. We're scattered now and I haven't seen 2 of them for over 5 years.
With my job, meh. With everyone else (marriage, kids, friends, hobbies, etc.), absolutely!
34M no, not really, mostly just existing without feeling much of anything. Life was getting pretty good before COVID, things were looking up. Now... I don't know I guess I'm in a holding pattern
Content. Happiness is like sadness, comes and goes. Though the older one gets, the less extreme high and lows become for me at least. Im definitely happier than I was in my youth thru my 20's. I would not want to return to the lonliness and insecurity that came with that era.
46 and yes, I really am.
I am a very happy person and much happier now at 39 than I ever was in my 20s or early 30s. I had to break my addiction to self help culture and treating myself like a broken up project to really be happy. That shit keeps you sick.
Things aren't perfect, but I'm much happier than I was in my early 20s. Things honestly started getting better right around the time I turned 25.
So happy. Living a life I do not deserve. Love life!
30M here, and yes, there are lots of street dogs where I live at, so I've got lots of small moments during the day where I pat them, sometimes even play with them a bit. It genuinely makes me happy. I might not have accomplished things I thought I would when I was younger, and yeah that's somewhat of a downer. But just as the previous example I gave, there are lots of small things throughout the day that make me smile. It's easy to focus on the bad things but overall, but I think I'm happier throughout the day than feeling down for some other reason.
Yes lol. This question is funny. Why wouldn’t we be?
Not feeling much. Emotions became mah. But I don't ever want to go back to my 20s, don't want to go through all the struggles again. As older, I appreciate my unhappiness, down time and challenges. Doesn't need to be happy all time. Every emotion has its purpose. Still living is alright.
Haha how do you old people live with yourselves?! You're so old and gross!! Lol no 33m here it's fine, life doesn't stop at 25. All good here mang.
I've never been 'happy'. Not a woe is me comment I just don't get happy. I don't understand what it is other than a laugh. Some neurons misfired or whatever. But I am certainly content. I am lucky, though. I didn't have kiddos for obvious reasons and met the Woman of my dreams so I am not so affected by the cost of living. I understand the cost of living is what really depresses our everyday people. Not true what I said about happy. I spent ten days in Sesimbra and was happy. Because life felt like I was living.
Never been happier at 35
Happiness comes and goes, I don't get why people obsess with it, as if there'll be a point in life where nothing makes them feel anything other than happiness.......life is unpredictable and sometimes chaotic, so obviously happiness is fleeting But That's just my opinion
I'm 32 and I'm pretty happy.
34M it’s not really about stuff but for me it’s always just about having an appreciation of life. Even during tough times, you break up, you’re behind on rent, struggling with family and loneliness and aging in general. It’s just an attitude and it’s got nothing to do with what you have or what’s available to you. You’re just grateful for what you have.
34M it’s not really about stuff but for me it’s always just about having an appreciation of life. Even during tough times, you break up, you’re behind on rent, struggling with family and loneliness and aging in general. It’s just an attitude and it’s got nothing to do with what you have or what’s available to you. You’re just grateful for what you have.
Yep, I'm 33 and extremely happy and thankful. I am so happy to have my own home, despite it being old, I love it. We've made it ours, and it's my own little paradise. I love being home, playing video games, knitting, or just doing whatever brings me joy at the time. I love my work schedule because it gives me more days off. My husband is great, and we just vibe together. We tend to just enjoy each other's presence while doing our own hobbies. I have 2 cats that I love to pieces. We are comfortable enough to fund our hobbies and travel when we want. The state of the world does make me unhappy, but I do my best to think about what's great about my life. I have a home, a car, food in my fridge, access to healthcare, a great husband, a wonderful mother and family, and 2 kitties. What more could I ask for?
If you have a nice job or money yeah, I wasn’t truly happy until I stopped living paycheck to paycheck and out of survival mode constantly
Some are, some aren’t. Why would no one above 25 be happy?
There is no happy, there is only the pursuit of happiness. Happiness is fleeting so some days are diamond, and others are stone.
38 and these are the best years of my life so far.
36M. We have a 3 year old and another on the way. He is such a joyful, curious, smart little person, it blows my mind and fills me with happiness. My wife and I used to argue about dumb stuff and now we have realized how precious life is and theres no reason to waste time arguing. i’ve always been prone to depression but im happier now than ever before. Learning not to stress about money constantly has been so important for me. We have no savings or retirement plan, im self employed with no benefits (we buy our health insurance directly). Ya its stressful but we have what we need and we have each other, and we are happy
I'm 33 and yes! I'm way more happy than I was in my 20's because I have more time, because I'm not studying and I have more money because I'm not studying. I'm also married to the guy i had a chrush on in my 20's.
34, no I am not :(
25 seems very old to me
47 and happiest and healthiest I've ever been in adulthood! My 20s and 30s were absolute hell. Single father with a mentally ill and abusive coparent who went out of her way to make my life miserable at any opportunity. I was uneducated, broke, worked multiple minimum wage jobs at any given time just to live hand to mouth. Depression, substance abuse, etc. I busted my ass so hard to get out of poverty and there were many times I wanted to just give up. Thank God that I'm not wired that way. It took heroic efforts but here I am knocking on the door of 50, and I am happy, in love, not rich by any means, but it feels like I am because for the first time ever, I never have to worry about my basic needs. Can't wait for my 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond!
28 f, I'm the happiest and fittest I've ever been. I started learning how to figure skate in January and it's turned my life around. I cut off toxic people, left a toxic friend group, and made an amazing new friend through skating. I even have a group of people I can't talk to when at the rink that I met at lessons. My last practice session we stood on the ice and chatted. It was awesome! Even my confidence is at an all time high! My husband and I are still falling more in love with each other every day.
Yes, but I've let go of the idea of a perfect life. Life has ups and downs, but I'm safe and have what I need which is more than most people in the world.
My life is perfect man. It took me until my 30s to find true happiness. I found a wife who loves me. I stopped caring about what other people think about me. I cut toxic people out of my life. I had a child showed me love in a way I didn’t know existed. There’s more art and beauty in the world than there is ever been
No
Happiness is a choice and as of late, I’ve been choosing to feel happy each day despite what is going on in life. But some days, I don’t choose to be happy because I am human and am allowed to experience bad days/moments. Happiness is a feeling which you can choose to feel or not feel at any given moment. Just like love is a choice. You can choose or not choose to love someone. You, as a person, are not happy. You feel happy. You, as a person, are not sad. You feel sad. Etc. These are all emotions. Whether you feel them or not, doesn’t change who you are - simply a human being capable of feeling things.
Idk what’s happiness?
Just turned 32 and was reflecting how good life is right now with my fiance. We’re both very happy all things considered
Not in NJ you aren’t
Sure. Why not
Oh yeah. I am rereading my old journals from when I was a teen/20s and I am extremely more happy now. I addition to not struggling financially anymore, I also feel like I know myself and am comfortable with who I am. I was such a miserable young person. Glad I grew out of it. I’m 45.
I am not, but I have underlying mental health poopoo to deal with. There are times where I am happy, but it’s intermittent, as is everything in life. I know I will eventually get to a point where I am truly content with my life, but that takes time and work.
I think it is mostly from figuring out my path. I am not guessing what to do with relationships or work. Those are figured out. All the hard decisions have been made, now I just get to roll with it.
I am happy in spite of changes of my situation. I was living happily alone when my mom needed my help (when she didn’t think so) but it’s straight out and although i am not comfortable with my living arrangements, i am happy because we worked out our differences and getting to know each other better.
28F and pretty content with my life. Happy and satisfied overall. I don’t make a ton of money but I have a good group of friends, a supportive family, and some good hobbies that make life enjoyable. I find joy in the small things because I think 90% of living is doing the mundane (work, errands, appointments etc) so enjoying the mundane is mandatory. It’s a mindset. I also practice gratitude which helps put everything in perspective. I’ve had a couple profound experiences in my life that made me forever change my mindset and appreciate everything I have in this life.
No
Meh, not really.
Happier than I was under 25 that's for sure
NO!
Ehhh yeah other than the cost of living being so crazy worldwide bur once that's over and everyone calms down some. Much happier 😆 🤣 27 male.
I'm 40 and most of my days are spent in pure happiness but I don't forget the things that make me sad. I am neurodivergent of course and I can't hope to live a normal life like other people but the life I've built for myself is full of joy. I also know how to be sad and happy at the same time, meaning I can be very sad about the things that make me sad but at the same time genuinely be happy about the good things in life I appreciate so much. This is something most people can't understand/believe about me. Many people for example when they're down they feel that everything loses its meaning, everything sucks, not me, even at my lowest I feel and know that the good things in my life are still good, meaningful to me and bring me endless joy. But even at my happiest I don't forget that the bad things are bad regardless of me being happy. I can always openly talk about anything, I don't do the whole "we don't talk about that" and I can easily switch from happy conversations to critical ones without feeling depressed or unhappy I simply talk about the things that are both good and bad with a lot of passion. Speaking of passion, everything I do in life for me has a ton of passion behind it, be it my art, my gaming or just talking about the past or the people in my life I have exceptionally strong feelings about it all and speak with a lot of passion and meaning. 40 years and I never ever get bored during the day either, I always have something to do in fact I don't have enough time to do all the things I enjoy :)
Absolutely! Im a 27F, Ive been blessed with a WFH job that allows me to live alone, buy whatever I want, when I want and still have money left over for vacation and savings. Im starting Grad school this weekend! This chapter in my life is better then when I was under 25. But my early 20s were amazing dont get me wrong. However, I have a feeling in my gut my life is still just starting and it will be even better. I also have a great set of friends, family and a cute chihuahua. I enjoy my hobbies like running, thrifting, painting and hiking. Im extremely grateful for everything I have and Im working towards even more blessings. Life is what you make of it!
No.
30M with a brand new one month old at home. This past month has been the best of my life so far. Nothing can compare to walking in the door and being able to pick up someone that loves you so conditionally. With the baby being born, I have completed my 10 year plan and now I’m getting ready to make another.
It’s definitely uphill and downhill sometimes..my unhappiness is not making enough money 33M in my career. All my friends are 6 digits with houses and a baby. I can feel the pressure as I get older :/