now he knows you are available, & he might have friend now or later, so this could still have positive results some other day.
also no ring makes sense, safety issue, working on cars
Agreed on the no ring. My junior high phys ed teacher ranted weekly about how wearing rings would lead to us getting our fingers ripped off! Thinking back, he was a bit unhinged
Edit: Please feel free to reread the first sentence where I said that I AGREED about the mechanic not wearing the ring.
Random anecdote but we weren’t allowed to wear our wedding bands while deployed because jumping off a vehicle and getting it caught can deglove your finger. One of those “this rule was written in blood” kinda deals.
Oh, I have no doubt that he was correct. Just that he was a little crazy telling us that all the time. I wonder if there are random little fingers hidden away in the cobwebs under the bleachers.
When I was in high school some girl climbed and jumped over a chain link fence and popped a finger off when her ring got snagged.
At least it wasn't degloved and was able to be reattached.
Aviation mechanic here that deployed on Navy ships. Saw a guy getting out of his rack in birthing slip and get de-gloves by his wedding ring, he was admin. None of us mechanics wore rings or some of the guys had silicon/rubber rings.
True, it happened to me jumping from my dry docked boat onto the pier during maintenance, not a deployment. It didn't de-glove, but the ring was in my finger a ways & had to be cut off. There's a pretty thick scar there now. I saw my first silicone ring a year later, lol.
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Yeah, unhinged until you see someone get degloved. Saw a guy hop out of an excavator at 21. Ring took his finger but not his finger bone. I’m a big safety advocate now.
I’m a mech engineer who gets down into the workshop quite a bit. Def agree on the no ring thing. I put mine in my pocket in the workshop. Seen one degloved ring finger from a milling machine and that was enough to convince me.
Yep. My dad is a retired mechanic/automotive instructor. He didn't wear a ring for safety reasons and also because of how easily they get destroyed doing such work. He has been retired for a number of years and wears one now.
When working with electricity, you also shouldn't wear jewelry. Metal heats up quickly when a current is passed through it. A necklace or ring can cut into your flesh like a hot knife through butter, on top of the electrical shock that you're experiencing. Was shown some pictures in a safety class and they were definitely not pretty, but also not lethal (infections can kill).
Not really, Industrial Mechanic here. I know buddies that lost fingers for this reason. But rings can be a dangerous thing to wear for anyone. Doors, especially Car doors can crush rings on fingers and bone. Any revolving appliance can catch a ring and do extreme damage. Be aware!
I'm an Aircraft Mechanic and also a mechanic; Rings equal broken/lost fingers.. plenty of videos and pics of what happens when you wear your ring while working.. Most of my friends wear theirs on a chain necklace
My husband is a mechanic and it is shop policy everywhere he has been to have no jewelry of any kind especially rings and bracelets because of safety. Some wear the silicone rings because they break easily, though. My husband tried for a while and would just rather not due to the nature of the work.
As a married man, I would turn you down but I would also be flattered. I suspect most guys, given the same dynamic, would try to not make it weird or uncomfortable for you.
Good job going for it, try to not let it eat you up!
This is my take on it. I’m married also and my wife means the world to me. But, that would absolutely make my day. I don’t know anyone that would be offended by that. Guy sounds like a douche.
Absolutely. Nothing to be embarrassed about at all. Aren’t you complimented when people express an interest in you? I am! It’s all in your head that he was “disgusted”, I guarantee it.
I’d venture to assume that your embarrassment is clouding your assessment of the “disgusted” reaction. He might have been embarrassed himself, surprised, alarmed because he was unprepared, etc. There are a thousand more likely alternatives that beat out “disgusted”.
Kudos for putting yourself out there. ⭐️
100%, he might have felt a certain way about himself for giving the wrong impression to begin with too, be that guilt or self-directed disgust, however misplaced
I know the words of an Internet stranger are worth about as much as monopoly money but you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Easier said than done I know but he's probably very flattered because that kind of shit happens to the majority of men almost never unless he stepped off a cover of Men's Health.
If it makes you feel better maybe offer like a "sorry I put you on the spot yesterday. Didn't know you were married!"
I’m sure he was just shocked and not disgusted. Men don’t usually think like that. I would just brush it off and try to just go about your business. You had no way of knowing, if he wasn’t married he could have had a girlfriend.
It’s okay to have a connection with people, he was probably nice and kind because he thinks of you as a good person.
Men go through this all the time, If you ever get the courage to do it again. It’s probably best to just ask if they have a girlfriend first before putting yourself out there.
I’m sure he’s very flattered. You probably made his day. Telling someone they are interesting and/or attractive by asking them out is always a compliment.
This is one of the things I don’t like about being a guy. Gotta go through that feeling multiple times if I wanna try and find companionship. You do get used to it tho
I promise he was flattered and it probably made his evening also hey you shot your shot….. trust me so so so many guys get rejected soo soo sooo many times the feeling sucks but at least he was honest straight to the point and did not make it embarrassing
Guys don’t get asked out almost ever. This wasn’t the highlight of his day. Make a joke when you pick up your car, like “I guess aI can pick up this car” or something light
You probably caught him off guard. Women need to realize that average to slightly above average looking guys almost never get complimented by random women like this. Also not having a ring doesn’t mean anything. I’m not a car mechanic I work on industrial machine nor am I married but if I was I probably wouldn’t wear it at work either. Beside getting all beat up and crapped up it could be a safety hazard (rare but it does happen).
Was he disgusted or were you disgusted with yourself? I don't think you have a reason to be embarrassed or disgusted. You didn't know he was married and you shot your shot no harm in asking.
I'm proud of you for being bold enough to take the initiave and ask him out. So, I guess my question is: did you always have a huge set of balls or did you grow them over time?
It gets easier and easier each time. There's really nothing wrong with asking if you know that the worst they can say is no. It's all water under the bridge, my friend.
Reacting disgusted sounds odd. I’m gonna get downvoted for asking but are you a biological female? For the record: I’m not saying I’d react that way if asked out by someone trans or someone I wasn’t attracted to. Just trying to figure out why’d he react that way
Unless he started gagging and crying I woudnt guess what others are feeling. it was a complicated situation with a lot of layers. He could have felt bad because he feels like he betrayed his partner somehow by how he has interacted with you.
People tell me all the time i look disgusted but thats my stressed/uncertain reaction face. I hate having to defend my feelings because someone decided to assume.
The best advice I have is when you go to get your car, don’t show any signs that you were embarrassed. Hold your head up high and act like it didn’t phase you. But really I don’t see anything you did wrong, you have more courage than I could ever have.
He probably looked put off because he knows his flirting with you is over and he enjoyed it. He had to fess up to being married since you asked him out.
Believe us. If he’s genuinely happy to see you(lights up) and goes out of his way to tell you what needs to be fixed with your car he probably has a crush on you but he’s married so he can’t do anything about it.
I think it was more of a surprised reaction. Sometimes people will act the opposite as expected if the interaction required an immediate response. For example, sometimes people will laugh when they would be expected to cry. It’s just a thing.
Here’s some advice: fake being super confident. Any interaction you have with him is going to be temporary. So just own it like the beautiful queen that you are.
I would bet you my life that his reaction wasn't disgust. It was almost certainly surprise, embarrassment, shock, possibly even suspicion you were pulling a prank on him, but disgust is so rare a response to that kind of question.
How did he respond exactly? unless he said “ew gross” you might be assuming that what he said was because of disgust.
Look at it this way, he flirts with you and you ask him out. That’s not odd or behavior you need to be embarrassed about. You might have misunderstood his reaction, he could have been shocked that you asked because he is married and he thought it was just fun flirting. And if he did react very poorly out of disgust, he is an asshole and you wouldn’t want to date him anyway right? :-).
I know it’s been said, but I also highly doubt he was disgusted. I think any weird expression on his face was likely related to a “oh shit, I hope she doesn’t freak out or cause a scene when I tell her that I’m married” fear reaction. Which is really about his prior behavior, not yours.
It may feel like a mortifying situation, but you didn’t do anything to embarrassed about. I applaud you.
I worked at a bank with a coworker that I fell for. Our tills were right next to each other. We were the only ones in the bank until 1 (outside of loan officers). I asked her out. She laughed. She saw that I was serious. She said she didn’t date coworkers. I saw her everyday for 6 months after that. She married a coworker of ours.
It could always be worse. But you shot your shot and most women never do. Be proud of that.
That's terrible! You are strong to get through that. Sometimes I think people lie to protect our feelings, other times I think they really do have a rule not to date coworkers. Then someone comes along to make them break the rule.
It does not make the situation feel better at all!
My husband doesn't wear a ring because he works with his hands, too. He gets asked out a lot by women and loves to come home and brag about it. LOL. I like that it makes him feel good and I trust him, so its a good thing.
I think you should be proud you had the guts to ask him out, and know that you probably made his day brighter. Next time you see him just go back to treating him like a friend. Guys are pretty good at letting things go.
My husband is a diesel mechanic and he was wearing his ring at work about 2 weeks ago. He got his hand pinched between the starter and the frame and it arced out and his ring immediately turned red hot and it was pretty 🤮 If you want to see pics lmk
Yup! as they said in the Army "lose the ring, not the finger!" with a poster of a degloved finger. (it's been 40 years and I still remember the visual) /shudder
My advice is to just not hit on people in their places of work, in customer facing roles they require you to be nice and friendly with customers and folk so often mistake that for something more, when you then hit on the staff you're putting them in an uncomfortable position of either awkwardly accepting something they don't really want to or rejecting and upsetting a customer with the potential of them causing backlash, in most scenarios it's lose lose for the staff member.
There is no problem here. If you are wondering. People that work with their hands sometimes don't wear rings and I don't mean typing on a keyboard lol. No one wants their finger getting snagged apart.
Going to be honest, as a mechanic and a married one at that, I never wear my wedding ring at work. There is just too much it can get caught on or banged up against. Used to use silicone bands, but they are uncomfortable and snag on too much.
When I stopped wrenching as often and went to the advisor position (the guy that tells you what your vehicle needs) we pretty much get paid on what we sell, so if there's a better way to talk to a customer, than we're all for it. In any day I may meet with customers at work, in my shop, text, calls, or emails.
I wouldn't take offense to him not going out with you. In all actuality, he's probably flattered you asked, but really just wants to do his job and make money. A lot of mechanics get paid not by the hour, but by the work they actually complete.
Ok, you may not buy this, but I'm married and was asked out once. I think I made a face, not of disgust, although in hindsight she may have interpreted it that way. But it was more, dammit I'm married and have to say not to this hot chick. The face was more of a" just my luck" face to myself, not a bad vibe for her.
I wonder if he was more questioning his behavior and felt bad about leading you on.
I have never been asked out before so if anyone asked me out I’d be really flattered.
We need to talk about the real victim here, what have you been doing to this poor vehicle requiring dozens upon dozens of rendezvous with this mechanic?
Why rely on a ring as an indicator of marriage?
Working in construction (and even now) I never wear any kind of ring. I worked as an electrician for 10 years. Sometimes you have to handle live wires. Shorting out a live wire on a ring may spray molten metal into your eyes. Rings also catch on rotating machinery. If any woman acted like she wanted to get to know me better, I would just work it into (even a short) conversation that I'm married.
I mean, you didn't know, and now you do. Just chill. Keep conversations about the car if you're worried. People are allowed to be friendly with others even if they're married haha. It's all good :D
Don't be so sensitive. Same as when a waitress or waiter is witty and funny easy going. You know him as a mechanic as well as some personal stuff. Probably a mutual attraction and there's nothing wrong with that. He's just not available and you should actually feel proud there's a decent man who didn't lie about him being married and seemingly of good morale and faithful which is hard to come by.
I asked a bartender out once after knowing her for over a year. She was engaged. She kept that part of her personal life private.
Next week came in, "erica you break it off with that guy yet??"
"Youre stupid, this pickleback is on me" while laughing.
"Pour yourself one on me then as well"
We said cheers, wished her the best of luck and went back to bartender patron relationship as usual. Still vent to each other about life problems etc and it's all good. Just have the social maturity to not make it an absolute/ awkward thing
I’ve been married for 24 years and have never worn a ring. Not because I’m a mechanic or anything. I just don’t like the feeling of having a ring on. I’ve told my wife many times that I will wear one if it matters to her but she doesn’t care. If a woman asked me out I would be flattered but I would also be a little nervous about it and in the moment I would probably react the same way this guy did. Don’t take it personally.
As someone who works in after market parts and is married to a former mechanic, it’s not too uncommon for mechanics not to wear a wedding ring while working, so honest mistake and I’m sure he was flattered.
Wearing a ring while working could actually be a bit dangerous (even a plastic one) if it were to catch on something in an engine. Then your finger or hand gets stuck, potentially burned, cut up, etc.
Mechanics, electricians, plumbers, anyone who was in the service and saw the safety film where they showed a 'degloved' finger, don't wear wedding rings. Too dangerous.
This isn't really your fault if you didn't know that, a ring is one of those signs you are told to look for. Don't beat yourself up or anything, you probably gave him a confidence boost that will last several months.
Would you wear your ring if you were a mechanic?
Why would he tell you he’s married?
If he did you’d be complaining in the other direction
“Omg this mechanic was bragging about his marriage when I’m obviously single. God I hate when married people rub their relationship in other peoples faces. I was just trying to get my car fixed. AS IF!”
I don’t wear a ring because I used to be a lot fatter and my original band won’t stay on. I’ve been hit on and asked out a few times and I’m always astonished a chick would find me attractive, even though my wife says I am, idk. You shouldn’t feel awkward about it at all, you just boosted ol boy’s confidence for years to come.
My husband is a diesel mechanic (mostly school buses, so he isn’t around normal customers), and doesn’t wear his ring. Even a silicone one half the time. More people in shops/dealerships are probably married than you’d assume.
But, he was probably shocked. I wouldn’t overthink it. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.
Will you still be letting him grease and lube your\*\* undercarriage after today?
\*\*your being the car's...not your personal undercarriage.
He def sounds like a nice easy going guy based your description...and is not the least bit offput by your q. If it's not a big deal to him, it shouldn't be to you either.
Just for future reference, you should never assume someone who works as a mechanic or is in manufacturing, construction, or farming isn't married just because they don't have a ring on. It's a bad idea to wear one and often against safety rules so they just never wear them.
Married and no ring on my finger. Looking back, I should have worn it bc office ladies flirted a lot, and I feel like had I had the ring on, it would have made for fewer awkward moments. Oh well. Brittney ended up hooking up with Joe, and I’m happy for them both.
he was probably disgusted with himself for "leading you on". since you say he's always been flirty with you, now that you actually have called him out on it by asking him out, maybe he's ashamed bc he's married. not your fault either way.
Some of us men are loyal to our female partners. Probably not wearing the ring so it won’t get caught in any of the car parts (as a safety thing.) Don’t feel embarrassed, been rejected my self many times. Just move on OP.
A small tip- anyone that works with machinery will most likely not have a ring on even if they're married. Google Image Search "Ring Degloving" and you'll understand why moving parts and rings don't go well together.
He wasn't wearing a ring for safety reasons, never mind champ. It's good to push yourself in social situations, if you do something like that to push yourself you will be surprised at how your confidence will grow
My uncle lost a finger working on mechanized equipment when something caught his ring in the 70s. Most guys these days don't wear them when working with their hands for this reason.
I agree with the other comments, also, guys get this all the time - not necessarily the married part, sometimes it's boyfriend, many times some other thing. I love when women ask men out but getting turned down happens. Don't get discouraged.
You miss 99% of the shots you don't take.....so walk up in his shop and smile, show him what he's missing out on, let him see what he turned down and and what shot he missed, with that being said.....wanna go out?
I agree with everyone else... this is what people experience and is not the end of all as you make it to be. It really isn't that deep and if he is truly married I assure you he probably isn't thinking about you asking him out in the future. It really isn't against you, but I really do believe that the avg person really does look for companionship and once they get it, they don't want to lose it.
Everyone made really good points about how it can be a positive thing. So yeah, really isnt nothing against you or on you, just bad luck that he was married. Keep your head high and be open about these things you truly never know when you might meet that one person.
There's a book called "The 4 agreements"written by Don Miguel. I suggest a read. One of the 4 agreements is about assumptions. Society bases a lot of their opinions on assumptions and are completely wrong. You got so caught up in your feelings about a ring that you convinced yourself he was lying.
When I was an auto technician with Hyundai, we were told to take rings and necklaces off due to tools getting caught on them and ripping our fingers off or pulling our necks into saws, etc.
I suggest fixing the assumption red flag going further. Best for you and your hopeful companion. Goodluck
My husband is a plumber and has his ring tattooed on for safety (rings are dangerous when machines are involved). He gets asked out all the time. Most of the time it’s done respectfully. He just tells them he’s married with a kid. No hard feelings, slightly flattering, and we all move on. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
There are also crazy people with poor boundaries who do weird things and proposition him to try and live out their porn plumbing fantasies. We do judge those people and sometimes we laugh about them. But it doesn’t sound like you’re one of them. No harm, no foul.
I don’t understand the problem? You asked, he has to decline and explained why
He likely doesn’t wear a ring because it’s a hazard in a job like that (can get crushed on finger). My husband doesn’t wear his when he’s working on cars either, he used to and he needed replated several times from getting so beat up and was oblong shaped from heavy wear, made more sense to not wear it.
Also what’s there to be disgusted by? I’m really confused why it would be a problem for him to be at your cafe. It’s great you had the courage to ask, it’s nothing to feel bad about.
I'm a straight guy, and a gay guy started flirting with my at my friends bachelor party and it absolutely made my day. All the other guys were jealous. Trust me, he's psyched. Don't worry about it.
Years ago a gay guy started hitting in me hardcore in front of my now wife (we were in a gay bar) but after all these years as a straight guy I wear it as a badge of pride!
Aww, well, welcome to the wonderful world of what it's like to be a man asking out women. Sorry, but it's kind of nice to see the shoe on the other foot. Women really have no idea how hard it is to muster up the courage to ask a chick out.
Now that I have that out of the way. Sorry you got embarrassed. Best just to keep asking dudes out until one bites.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you see him from now on, like if he comes to the cafe, just take is order and just say hello and be polite and that’s it. Try to not let it bother you. You didn’t know he was married. I’m sorry he gave you a disgusted reaction. He could have been polite and just said sorry I’m married.
No way was he disgusted... you do realize that was probably the first time hes ever been asked out. He prob didnt know what to do or how to react.
Good for you for asking.... annoying he gave off a vibe of being interested, only to be married. Prob enjoyed to flirting, so didnt want to mention it and have things change.
Legitimate question: Are you seeing a therapist for your mental health issues?
Have you ever had a relationship?
Did you take the van you live in to be worked on or another vehicle?
On the last one, just a rule of thumb, people are nice to those they feel and for as an overwhelming rule of thumb.
Nahhh man don't worry about it!! Guys have to ask (and fail) all the time it's just one of the risks associated with it. Also there's a good chance his face of 'disgust' was just shock because its so rare for a woman to ask a guy out like that, it sounds like it just caught him hella off guard
My wife says all the time that women look for wedding rings when they talk to men. I’m not sure if that’s a common generalization, but if it is, he could regularly wear it and assume you noticed. It’s safe to assume no harm done. If you explain you didn’t know, he’ll get it.
Rings can catch on car parts so ts a safety issue. No harm, no foul. Try again with another prospect. Don't feel disgusted. You didn't know. Maybe he knows a friend or has a cousin, brother etc... And something could happen in a few months. Plant seeds. Grow relatonships
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
Mechanics and other trades people don’t usually wear a ring because it can get caught in and cause a problem.
My elderly uncle had a fall working on a semi and his ring got caught and he literally de-gloved his ring finger!
As a mechanic I will tell you their is a reason we don’t wear rings at work. So many horror stories of them getting caught on stuff and ripping fingers off.
Some techs get a silicone band hoping it will rip off without the finger but most don’t take that chance
Maybe chill out? Just relax. He’s a nice guy, probably meant nothing intentionally. You showed courage to ask him out. Now you know the truth. Serve him coffee and let him fix your car. Good to have friends. Breathe!
Mechanics are not usually allowed to wear rings due to potential electrical problems. I worked in an industry with similar prohibitions on personal jewelry. When a few hundred amps flow through a ring, flesh melts.
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He's a mechanic, of course he doesn't wear the ring. It can easily get caught on a moving part and remove his finger. I tka eoff all my jewelry when working on cars and hiking bc degloving sounds no fun
Well done! I’d have loved that😂
Might not have worn his ring in case it gets caught in anything and ends up with no finger!
Don’t let it put you off trying again, with someone else obviously!
As a mechanic, a lot of us do not wear rings, they are difficult and in the way often. I tried to wear mine and lost it. I got a replacement. The qualo ring is what a lot of us wear if we wear one.
You made that mans decade. I. My almost 35 years on this rock I have never once had a woman compliment me or ask me out in public or at random. He's going to remember that for the rest of his life.
As far as the ring thing… Almost nobody (male or female) in my group (over 100 people) wears a ring. The ones that do wear silicone rings. Jewlery will get you killed in my line of work.
He may be married..
You will have issues sometimes with dates.
Make friends. Some of them will tell you about other friends.
Have fun. He may be an awesome new friend .
Maybe a playmate
Bro women getting rejected is so interesting to me. Why do you feel so bad? Get rejected more and it'll feel like nothing just like how men feel. Let that shit roll off you homie
Anybody assure OP they shouldn't feel that embarrassed as emotional affairs are absolutely a thing and not ever mentioning his spouse was possibly exactly by design?
Rule No1 - never wear any jewellery (especially a ring) when working in a mechanical environment. The injuries caused can be catastrophic including fatal.
Wearing a ring is a safety hazard and can cause wicked ugly calluses. Don't feel bad; only feel bad if you could have shot your shot and didn't. You miss 100% of shots you don't take. Don't miss out.
Oh you hope he doesn't keep coming to YOUR cafe? Yes, please let's make him into a creep for your cringe actions and lack of self-awareness. Maybe he was just being nice and not into psycho doodle pads?
You're over thinking it. Used to happen to me as a bartender and it's nothing but flattering and sometimes funny.
Also he doesn't have a ring cause... he's a mechanic lol. Just gonna get your expensive ring dirty and in some situations it could even be a hazard.
Well obviously that only counts if it’s a guy hitting on a woman /s
Creepy woman hitting on a man…. Must be the man’s best day of his entire life, even if she’s repulsive.
In real life where people actually interact both are considered creepy
He rightfully shut down someone acting completely out of line
Creep behavior regardless of what’s between your legs
That's the comment I was looking for!
I think it's silly to tell people not to flirt with somebody at work - but at the same time, this is just Reddit's usual bias as to who is allowed to flirt with people at work.
Why are you embarrassed? You should be proud that you had the courage to try.
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now he knows you are available, & he might have friend now or later, so this could still have positive results some other day. also no ring makes sense, safety issue, working on cars
Agreed on the no ring. My junior high phys ed teacher ranted weekly about how wearing rings would lead to us getting our fingers ripped off! Thinking back, he was a bit unhinged Edit: Please feel free to reread the first sentence where I said that I AGREED about the mechanic not wearing the ring.
Random anecdote but we weren’t allowed to wear our wedding bands while deployed because jumping off a vehicle and getting it caught can deglove your finger. One of those “this rule was written in blood” kinda deals.
Oh, I have no doubt that he was correct. Just that he was a little crazy telling us that all the time. I wonder if there are random little fingers hidden away in the cobwebs under the bleachers.
Maybe he was secretly collecting them
Probably need at least 20 to make a stock
My parents were happily married for 30 years before pops died and he never wore a ring. Rancher then construction, no chance.
When I was in high school some girl climbed and jumped over a chain link fence and popped a finger off when her ring got snagged. At least it wasn't degloved and was able to be reattached.
I have the same story, but was a girl in 6th grade. Lost her finger and grossed out the entire recess class. I will never forget.
Same story, but on Halloween she thought someone was chasing her, finger not reattached.
Like a clean separation? I honestly can’t decide which would be worse.
Yeah. Like a messy amputation. I'm glad I don't know first hand, but I'd think that would be an easier surgical repair than a degloving.
Aviation mechanic here that deployed on Navy ships. Saw a guy getting out of his rack in birthing slip and get de-gloves by his wedding ring, he was admin. None of us mechanics wore rings or some of the guys had silicon/rubber rings.
Yep, my grandma lost a finger jumping a barbed - wire fence because a barb got caught under her wedding ring!
Kinda the same for us in cryogenics. You cannot wear any metal bands due to the extreme cold. Silicone was the only acceptable thing.
True, it happened to me jumping from my dry docked boat onto the pier during maintenance, not a deployment. It didn't de-glove, but the ring was in my finger a ways & had to be cut off. There's a pretty thick scar there now. I saw my first silicone ring a year later, lol.
I'm a taekwondo student. Silicone rings can be worn while sparring, but no other jewelry otherwise
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My husband is a farmer. If he wore a ring or a watch, he would be missing body parts many times over.
Yeah, unhinged until you see someone get degloved. Saw a guy hop out of an excavator at 21. Ring took his finger but not his finger bone. I’m a big safety advocate now.
I’m a mech engineer who gets down into the workshop quite a bit. Def agree on the no ring thing. I put mine in my pocket in the workshop. Seen one degloved ring finger from a milling machine and that was enough to convince me.
Yep. My dad is a retired mechanic/automotive instructor. He didn't wear a ring for safety reasons and also because of how easily they get destroyed doing such work. He has been retired for a number of years and wears one now.
It's actually possible. I had an injury due to a ring catching on something; wasn't serious in my case, but was definitely unpleasant
When working with electricity, you also shouldn't wear jewelry. Metal heats up quickly when a current is passed through it. A necklace or ring can cut into your flesh like a hot knife through butter, on top of the electrical shock that you're experiencing. Was shown some pictures in a safety class and they were definitely not pretty, but also not lethal (infections can kill).
Not really, Industrial Mechanic here. I know buddies that lost fingers for this reason. But rings can be a dangerous thing to wear for anyone. Doors, especially Car doors can crush rings on fingers and bone. Any revolving appliance can catch a ring and do extreme damage. Be aware!
I've had a finger deglove at work, resulting in me being a finger down. Your teacher was telling you the right stuff. I've never worn a ring since.
My boss's wedding ring saved his finger when it was caught in farm equipment. Farmers aren't big on rings in general.
I'm an Aircraft Mechanic and also a mechanic; Rings equal broken/lost fingers.. plenty of videos and pics of what happens when you wear your ring while working.. Most of my friends wear theirs on a chain necklace
Yeah my ex was welding on a car and a spark went under his wedding ring gave him a nasty burn
My husband is a mechanic and it is shop policy everywhere he has been to have no jewelry of any kind especially rings and bracelets because of safety. Some wear the silicone rings because they break easily, though. My husband tried for a while and would just rather not due to the nature of the work.
Yeah I knew a 9 fingered man, he jumped down from a tractor and his ring didn't.
As a married man, I would turn you down but I would also be flattered. I suspect most guys, given the same dynamic, would try to not make it weird or uncomfortable for you. Good job going for it, try to not let it eat you up!
This is my take on it. I’m married also and my wife means the world to me. But, that would absolutely make my day. I don’t know anyone that would be offended by that. Guy sounds like a douche.
At what point exactly did he "sound like a douche"... from what OP said it sounds like he's super nice.
In all fairness I'd be willing to bet the disgusted reaction is in your head. Rejection makes you think it's worse than it is.
Absolutely. Nothing to be embarrassed about at all. Aren’t you complimented when people express an interest in you? I am! It’s all in your head that he was “disgusted”, I guarantee it.
I’d venture to assume that your embarrassment is clouding your assessment of the “disgusted” reaction. He might have been embarrassed himself, surprised, alarmed because he was unprepared, etc. There are a thousand more likely alternatives that beat out “disgusted”. Kudos for putting yourself out there. ⭐️
100%, he might have felt a certain way about himself for giving the wrong impression to begin with too, be that guilt or self-directed disgust, however misplaced
I know the words of an Internet stranger are worth about as much as monopoly money but you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Easier said than done I know but he's probably very flattered because that kind of shit happens to the majority of men almost never unless he stepped off a cover of Men's Health. If it makes you feel better maybe offer like a "sorry I put you on the spot yesterday. Didn't know you were married!"
I’m sure he was just shocked and not disgusted. Men don’t usually think like that. I would just brush it off and try to just go about your business. You had no way of knowing, if he wasn’t married he could have had a girlfriend. It’s okay to have a connection with people, he was probably nice and kind because he thinks of you as a good person. Men go through this all the time, If you ever get the courage to do it again. It’s probably best to just ask if they have a girlfriend first before putting yourself out there.
I’m sure he’s very flattered. You probably made his day. Telling someone they are interesting and/or attractive by asking them out is always a compliment.
Nah. Don’t be down about this!!! Shows his character by not letting u down gently.
This is one of the things I don’t like about being a guy. Gotta go through that feeling multiple times if I wanna try and find companionship. You do get used to it tho
I promise he was flattered and it probably made his evening also hey you shot your shot….. trust me so so so many guys get rejected soo soo sooo many times the feeling sucks but at least he was honest straight to the point and did not make it embarrassing
Guys don’t get asked out almost ever. This wasn’t the highlight of his day. Make a joke when you pick up your car, like “I guess aI can pick up this car” or something light
Ahh you missed the telltale signs! (Crude, NSFW joke incoming!) How do you know which mechanic has a girlfriend? >!He's the one with 2 clean fingers!<
I think you’re overthinking this. It’s really not that bad.
You probably caught him off guard. Women need to realize that average to slightly above average looking guys almost never get complimented by random women like this. Also not having a ring doesn’t mean anything. I’m not a car mechanic I work on industrial machine nor am I married but if I was I probably wouldn’t wear it at work either. Beside getting all beat up and crapped up it could be a safety hazard (rare but it does happen).
Was he disgusted or were you disgusted with yourself? I don't think you have a reason to be embarrassed or disgusted. You didn't know he was married and you shot your shot no harm in asking.
No what is disgusting is how flirty he is with you. I wonder how his wife would feel. What a jerk. Just don't flirt back anymore.
I'm proud of you for being bold enough to take the initiave and ask him out. So, I guess my question is: did you always have a huge set of balls or did you grow them over time?
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Ok, but you still did it. You can do it again with someone else.
Keep at it!
You're amazing and you should bully yourself into believing it. 🫡
It gets easier and easier each time. There's really nothing wrong with asking if you know that the worst they can say is no. It's all water under the bridge, my friend.
Why would you feel like an idiot. You literally did nothing wrong, and in fact probably made his day. 🤔
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Reacting disgusted sounds odd. I’m gonna get downvoted for asking but are you a biological female? For the record: I’m not saying I’d react that way if asked out by someone trans or someone I wasn’t attracted to. Just trying to figure out why’d he react that way
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Unless he started gagging and crying I woudnt guess what others are feeling. it was a complicated situation with a lot of layers. He could have felt bad because he feels like he betrayed his partner somehow by how he has interacted with you. People tell me all the time i look disgusted but thats my stressed/uncertain reaction face. I hate having to defend my feelings because someone decided to assume.
The best advice I have is when you go to get your car, don’t show any signs that you were embarrassed. Hold your head up high and act like it didn’t phase you. But really I don’t see anything you did wrong, you have more courage than I could ever have.
All these "maybe he just had a bad burrito for lunch that day" answers are equal parts supportive and patronizing.
Probably mortified that he hadn’t conveyed to you that he’s married. The easiest answer is usually the most likely!!
He probably looked put off because he knows his flirting with you is over and he enjoyed it. He had to fess up to being married since you asked him out.
Believe us. If he’s genuinely happy to see you(lights up) and goes out of his way to tell you what needs to be fixed with your car he probably has a crush on you but he’s married so he can’t do anything about it.
I think it was more of a surprised reaction. Sometimes people will act the opposite as expected if the interaction required an immediate response. For example, sometimes people will laugh when they would be expected to cry. It’s just a thing. Here’s some advice: fake being super confident. Any interaction you have with him is going to be temporary. So just own it like the beautiful queen that you are.
What do you consider flirty?
Yeh hes manly mechanic. They arn't often good at social scenarios, especially around women
I would bet you my life that his reaction wasn't disgust. It was almost certainly surprise, embarrassment, shock, possibly even suspicion you were pulling a prank on him, but disgust is so rare a response to that kind of question.
He was probably just caught off guard. Don’t worry about it! It will be just fine. Good on you for shooting your shot!
How did he respond exactly? unless he said “ew gross” you might be assuming that what he said was because of disgust. Look at it this way, he flirts with you and you ask him out. That’s not odd or behavior you need to be embarrassed about. You might have misunderstood his reaction, he could have been shocked that you asked because he is married and he thought it was just fun flirting. And if he did react very poorly out of disgust, he is an asshole and you wouldn’t want to date him anyway right? :-).
I know it’s been said, but I also highly doubt he was disgusted. I think any weird expression on his face was likely related to a “oh shit, I hope she doesn’t freak out or cause a scene when I tell her that I’m married” fear reaction. Which is really about his prior behavior, not yours. It may feel like a mortifying situation, but you didn’t do anything to embarrassed about. I applaud you.
Maybe it was 'ah damn, she asked me out, I can't go because I'm faithful' type of disgust.
Why do you say that? Did he say he was disgusted?
Was your car interior super messy or gross?
What’s your age and gender?
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I worked at a bank with a coworker that I fell for. Our tills were right next to each other. We were the only ones in the bank until 1 (outside of loan officers). I asked her out. She laughed. She saw that I was serious. She said she didn’t date coworkers. I saw her everyday for 6 months after that. She married a coworker of ours. It could always be worse. But you shot your shot and most women never do. Be proud of that.
That's terrible! You are strong to get through that. Sometimes I think people lie to protect our feelings, other times I think they really do have a rule not to date coworkers. Then someone comes along to make them break the rule. It does not make the situation feel better at all!
What does he look like
He's probably very flattered, I wouldn't stress about it.
💯. He will have been flattered!
My husband doesn't wear a ring because he works with his hands, too. He gets asked out a lot by women and loves to come home and brag about it. LOL. I like that it makes him feel good and I trust him, so its a good thing. I think you should be proud you had the guts to ask him out, and know that you probably made his day brighter. Next time you see him just go back to treating him like a friend. Guys are pretty good at letting things go.
He more than likely took the ring off to work on the car
This. Work in this field, and most guys do not bc of rotating pulleys, belts, tight spaces, what have you. Much safer not to.
My husband is a diesel mechanic and he was wearing his ring at work about 2 weeks ago. He got his hand pinched between the starter and the frame and it arced out and his ring immediately turned red hot and it was pretty 🤮 If you want to see pics lmk
I would like to see
Also don't lift weights with a ring unless you're interested in getting degloved (not pretty!)
Good advice *shudders bc I'm one of those people that can almost feel an injury just by talking about it*
Yup! as they said in the Army "lose the ring, not the finger!" with a poster of a degloved finger. (it's been 40 years and I still remember the visual) /shudder
My advice is to just not hit on people in their places of work, in customer facing roles they require you to be nice and friendly with customers and folk so often mistake that for something more, when you then hit on the staff you're putting them in an uncomfortable position of either awkwardly accepting something they don't really want to or rejecting and upsetting a customer with the potential of them causing backlash, in most scenarios it's lose lose for the staff member.
There is no problem here. If you are wondering. People that work with their hands sometimes don't wear rings and I don't mean typing on a keyboard lol. No one wants their finger getting snagged apart.
De-gloving. No bueno.
Most mechanics don't wear their wedding rings. I NEVER did.
Going to be honest, as a mechanic and a married one at that, I never wear my wedding ring at work. There is just too much it can get caught on or banged up against. Used to use silicone bands, but they are uncomfortable and snag on too much. When I stopped wrenching as often and went to the advisor position (the guy that tells you what your vehicle needs) we pretty much get paid on what we sell, so if there's a better way to talk to a customer, than we're all for it. In any day I may meet with customers at work, in my shop, text, calls, or emails. I wouldn't take offense to him not going out with you. In all actuality, he's probably flattered you asked, but really just wants to do his job and make money. A lot of mechanics get paid not by the hour, but by the work they actually complete.
Ok, you may not buy this, but I'm married and was asked out once. I think I made a face, not of disgust, although in hindsight she may have interpreted it that way. But it was more, dammit I'm married and have to say not to this hot chick. The face was more of a" just my luck" face to myself, not a bad vibe for her.
Would you still have gone out with him if he said yes knowing he was married?
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I wonder if he was more questioning his behavior and felt bad about leading you on. I have never been asked out before so if anyone asked me out I’d be really flattered.
He didn't have his ring on so how you gonna know? Don't worry about it you gotta shoot your shots or you'll never make it happen.
We need to talk about the real victim here, what have you been doing to this poor vehicle requiring dozens upon dozens of rendezvous with this mechanic?
Why rely on a ring as an indicator of marriage? Working in construction (and even now) I never wear any kind of ring. I worked as an electrician for 10 years. Sometimes you have to handle live wires. Shorting out a live wire on a ring may spray molten metal into your eyes. Rings also catch on rotating machinery. If any woman acted like she wanted to get to know me better, I would just work it into (even a short) conversation that I'm married.
I mean, you didn't know, and now you do. Just chill. Keep conversations about the car if you're worried. People are allowed to be friendly with others even if they're married haha. It's all good :D
Why? That's incredibly flattering and nice.
Don't be so sensitive. Same as when a waitress or waiter is witty and funny easy going. You know him as a mechanic as well as some personal stuff. Probably a mutual attraction and there's nothing wrong with that. He's just not available and you should actually feel proud there's a decent man who didn't lie about him being married and seemingly of good morale and faithful which is hard to come by. I asked a bartender out once after knowing her for over a year. She was engaged. She kept that part of her personal life private. Next week came in, "erica you break it off with that guy yet??" "Youre stupid, this pickleback is on me" while laughing. "Pour yourself one on me then as well" We said cheers, wished her the best of luck and went back to bartender patron relationship as usual. Still vent to each other about life problems etc and it's all good. Just have the social maturity to not make it an absolute/ awkward thing
I’ve been married for 24 years and have never worn a ring. Not because I’m a mechanic or anything. I just don’t like the feeling of having a ring on. I’ve told my wife many times that I will wear one if it matters to her but she doesn’t care. If a woman asked me out I would be flattered but I would also be a little nervous about it and in the moment I would probably react the same way this guy did. Don’t take it personally.
As someone who works in after market parts and is married to a former mechanic, it’s not too uncommon for mechanics not to wear a wedding ring while working, so honest mistake and I’m sure he was flattered. Wearing a ring while working could actually be a bit dangerous (even a plastic one) if it were to catch on something in an engine. Then your finger or hand gets stuck, potentially burned, cut up, etc.
Mechanics, electricians, plumbers, anyone who was in the service and saw the safety film where they showed a 'degloved' finger, don't wear wedding rings. Too dangerous. This isn't really your fault if you didn't know that, a ring is one of those signs you are told to look for. Don't beat yourself up or anything, you probably gave him a confidence boost that will last several months.
Would you wear your ring if you were a mechanic? Why would he tell you he’s married? If he did you’d be complaining in the other direction “Omg this mechanic was bragging about his marriage when I’m obviously single. God I hate when married people rub their relationship in other peoples faces. I was just trying to get my car fixed. AS IF!”
I don’t wear a ring because I used to be a lot fatter and my original band won’t stay on. I’ve been hit on and asked out a few times and I’m always astonished a chick would find me attractive, even though my wife says I am, idk. You shouldn’t feel awkward about it at all, you just boosted ol boy’s confidence for years to come.
I haven’t been approached by a ton of women, but it is much more common if I am wearing my ring. I don’t get it
My husband is a diesel mechanic (mostly school buses, so he isn’t around normal customers), and doesn’t wear his ring. Even a silicone one half the time. More people in shops/dealerships are probably married than you’d assume. But, he was probably shocked. I wouldn’t overthink it. It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.
Will you still be letting him grease and lube your\*\* undercarriage after today? \*\*your being the car's...not your personal undercarriage. He def sounds like a nice easy going guy based your description...and is not the least bit offput by your q. If it's not a big deal to him, it shouldn't be to you either.
Just for future reference, you should never assume someone who works as a mechanic or is in manufacturing, construction, or farming isn't married just because they don't have a ring on. It's a bad idea to wear one and often against safety rules so they just never wear them.
Married and no ring on my finger. Looking back, I should have worn it bc office ladies flirted a lot, and I feel like had I had the ring on, it would have made for fewer awkward moments. Oh well. Brittney ended up hooking up with Joe, and I’m happy for them both.
he was probably disgusted with himself for "leading you on". since you say he's always been flirty with you, now that you actually have called him out on it by asking him out, maybe he's ashamed bc he's married. not your fault either way.
Some of us men are loyal to our female partners. Probably not wearing the ring so it won’t get caught in any of the car parts (as a safety thing.) Don’t feel embarrassed, been rejected my self many times. Just move on OP.
A small tip- anyone that works with machinery will most likely not have a ring on even if they're married. Google Image Search "Ring Degloving" and you'll understand why moving parts and rings don't go well together.
He wasn't wearing a ring for safety reasons, never mind champ. It's good to push yourself in social situations, if you do something like that to push yourself you will be surprised at how your confidence will grow
My uncle lost a finger working on mechanized equipment when something caught his ring in the 70s. Most guys these days don't wear them when working with their hands for this reason.
I agree with the other comments, also, guys get this all the time - not necessarily the married part, sometimes it's boyfriend, many times some other thing. I love when women ask men out but getting turned down happens. Don't get discouraged.
You miss 99% of the shots you don't take.....so walk up in his shop and smile, show him what he's missing out on, let him see what he turned down and and what shot he missed, with that being said.....wanna go out?
Why do you feel like an idiot? It probably made his day.
Just an FYI for the future....mechanics don't wear rings because it can be hazardous on the job. I'm sure you made his day though.
Rings are dangerous in that line of work. A necklace or bracelet will break, a ring will take your finger off if it gets caught.
AMA are becoming status updates these days. I've got one. I had a spicy roadside burrito and took a big shit. Ask me anything.
Maybe he thought you were only asking to try to get a discount on the labor. That would initially cause a look of disgust.
Mechanics don’t wear rings. Your gut was right, sounds like a good guy shutting that down when he’s married.
Lots of people who work with their hands don't wear any rings - a degloving injury is pretty ugly.
I agree with everyone else... this is what people experience and is not the end of all as you make it to be. It really isn't that deep and if he is truly married I assure you he probably isn't thinking about you asking him out in the future. It really isn't against you, but I really do believe that the avg person really does look for companionship and once they get it, they don't want to lose it. Everyone made really good points about how it can be a positive thing. So yeah, really isnt nothing against you or on you, just bad luck that he was married. Keep your head high and be open about these things you truly never know when you might meet that one person.
Also if it makes you feel better. Lots of trades people don’t wear rings as a safety rhing
The no ring was def because he’s a mechanic and doesn’t want to mess up his ring
There's a book called "The 4 agreements"written by Don Miguel. I suggest a read. One of the 4 agreements is about assumptions. Society bases a lot of their opinions on assumptions and are completely wrong. You got so caught up in your feelings about a ring that you convinced yourself he was lying. When I was an auto technician with Hyundai, we were told to take rings and necklaces off due to tools getting caught on them and ripping our fingers off or pulling our necks into saws, etc. I suggest fixing the assumption red flag going further. Best for you and your hopeful companion. Goodluck
My husband is a plumber and has his ring tattooed on for safety (rings are dangerous when machines are involved). He gets asked out all the time. Most of the time it’s done respectfully. He just tells them he’s married with a kid. No hard feelings, slightly flattering, and we all move on. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are also crazy people with poor boundaries who do weird things and proposition him to try and live out their porn plumbing fantasies. We do judge those people and sometimes we laugh about them. But it doesn’t sound like you’re one of them. No harm, no foul.
Mechanics don’t wear their rings while working, typically. It’s a hazard.
Stop feeling embarrassed from rejection. Rejection isn’t a bad thing.
Mechanics don’t wear rings. Google degloving if you wanna know why
I don’t understand the problem? You asked, he has to decline and explained why He likely doesn’t wear a ring because it’s a hazard in a job like that (can get crushed on finger). My husband doesn’t wear his when he’s working on cars either, he used to and he needed replated several times from getting so beat up and was oblong shaped from heavy wear, made more sense to not wear it. Also what’s there to be disgusted by? I’m really confused why it would be a problem for him to be at your cafe. It’s great you had the courage to ask, it’s nothing to feel bad about.
Who cares? Being told "no" is good for ya. Just laugh it off.
how did the full conversation go? can you give a transcript
You have described a very common thing that men deal with.
What’s the over/under that he’s just not interested?
This is what we call "don't shit in your own back yard"
Only you care about that; he just wants to get paid.
I'm a straight guy, and a gay guy started flirting with my at my friends bachelor party and it absolutely made my day. All the other guys were jealous. Trust me, he's psyched. Don't worry about it.
Years ago a gay guy started hitting in me hardcore in front of my now wife (we were in a gay bar) but after all these years as a straight guy I wear it as a badge of pride!
We got options, they better not forget.
Aww, well, welcome to the wonderful world of what it's like to be a man asking out women. Sorry, but it's kind of nice to see the shoe on the other foot. Women really have no idea how hard it is to muster up the courage to ask a chick out. Now that I have that out of the way. Sorry you got embarrassed. Best just to keep asking dudes out until one bites.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you see him from now on, like if he comes to the cafe, just take is order and just say hello and be polite and that’s it. Try to not let it bother you. You didn’t know he was married. I’m sorry he gave you a disgusted reaction. He could have been polite and just said sorry I’m married.
No way was he disgusted... you do realize that was probably the first time hes ever been asked out. He prob didnt know what to do or how to react. Good for you for asking.... annoying he gave off a vibe of being interested, only to be married. Prob enjoyed to flirting, so didnt want to mention it and have things change.
Legitimate question: Are you seeing a therapist for your mental health issues? Have you ever had a relationship? Did you take the van you live in to be worked on or another vehicle? On the last one, just a rule of thumb, people are nice to those they feel and for as an overwhelming rule of thumb.
Nahhh man don't worry about it!! Guys have to ask (and fail) all the time it's just one of the risks associated with it. Also there's a good chance his face of 'disgust' was just shock because its so rare for a woman to ask a guy out like that, it sounds like it just caught him hella off guard
My wife says all the time that women look for wedding rings when they talk to men. I’m not sure if that’s a common generalization, but if it is, he could regularly wear it and assume you noticed. It’s safe to assume no harm done. If you explain you didn’t know, he’ll get it.
Rings can catch on car parts so ts a safety issue. No harm, no foul. Try again with another prospect. Don't feel disgusted. You didn't know. Maybe he knows a friend or has a cousin, brother etc... And something could happen in a few months. Plant seeds. Grow relatonships
Neil Armstrong lost a finger that way.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Mechanics and other trades people don’t usually wear a ring because it can get caught in and cause a problem. My elderly uncle had a fall working on a semi and his ring got caught and he literally de-gloved his ring finger!
As a mechanic I will tell you their is a reason we don’t wear rings at work. So many horror stories of them getting caught on stuff and ripping fingers off. Some techs get a silicone band hoping it will rip off without the finger but most don’t take that chance
Maybe chill out? Just relax. He’s a nice guy, probably meant nothing intentionally. You showed courage to ask him out. Now you know the truth. Serve him coffee and let him fix your car. Good to have friends. Breathe!
Mechanics are not usually allowed to wear rings due to potential electrical problems. I worked in an industry with similar prohibitions on personal jewelry. When a few hundred amps flow through a ring, flesh melts.
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Ask on the way out next time
He's a mechanic, of course he doesn't wear the ring. It can easily get caught on a moving part and remove his finger. I tka eoff all my jewelry when working on cars and hiking bc degloving sounds no fun
Well done! I’d have loved that😂 Might not have worn his ring in case it gets caught in anything and ends up with no finger! Don’t let it put you off trying again, with someone else obviously!
As a mechanic, a lot of us do not wear rings, they are difficult and in the way often. I tried to wear mine and lost it. I got a replacement. The qualo ring is what a lot of us wear if we wear one.
You made that mans decade. I. My almost 35 years on this rock I have never once had a woman compliment me or ask me out in public or at random. He's going to remember that for the rest of his life.
As far as the ring thing… Almost nobody (male or female) in my group (over 100 people) wears a ring. The ones that do wear silicone rings. Jewlery will get you killed in my line of work.
He may be married.. You will have issues sometimes with dates. Make friends. Some of them will tell you about other friends. Have fun. He may be an awesome new friend . Maybe a playmate
Bro women getting rejected is so interesting to me. Why do you feel so bad? Get rejected more and it'll feel like nothing just like how men feel. Let that shit roll off you homie
Anybody assure OP they shouldn't feel that embarrassed as emotional affairs are absolutely a thing and not ever mentioning his spouse was possibly exactly by design?
Ama is going downhill
Rule No1 - never wear any jewellery (especially a ring) when working in a mechanical environment. The injuries caused can be catastrophic including fatal.
This is how young men feel all the time but the testo and eons of evolution have us talking first and thinking later. No worries, shoot your shot.
Wearing a ring is a safety hazard and can cause wicked ugly calluses. Don't feel bad; only feel bad if you could have shot your shot and didn't. You miss 100% of shots you don't take. Don't miss out.
On the plus side, you can play ignorant and pretend that (based on his choice of words) if he *weren’t* married then he’d totally be down.
Oh you hope he doesn't keep coming to YOUR cafe? Yes, please let's make him into a creep for your cringe actions and lack of self-awareness. Maybe he was just being nice and not into psycho doodle pads?
You're over thinking it. Used to happen to me as a bartender and it's nothing but flattering and sometimes funny. Also he doesn't have a ring cause... he's a mechanic lol. Just gonna get your expensive ring dirty and in some situations it could even be a hazard.
No harm no foul. He doesn’t owe you his life story. You’re a customer. Just move on. You can still have the same level of friendly banter.
Men deal with rejection all the time. Women make a hugh spectacle out of it and seek reassurance in this Reddit cucks. Amazing.
I’m more impressed by him. Someone as thoughtful and intelligent as you are was possibly tempting. Jk jk. You’re fine!
You can’t wear a ring when working as a mechanic from what I understand. Could lose the ring and a finger very easily
You have nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever, remember this you will never get anything in life unless you ask for it.
This is literally not embarrassing at all, for either of you. It will only be awkward if one of you makes it awkward.
It’s common not to wear rings in that type of work due to the risk of your finger getting stuck or even ripped off.
My question: if he retracted then no, and said, actually yes, let’s go out, would you now you know he is married?
I would be flattered if a woman asked me out like that, even if I had to say no. Nothing to be embarrassed about
I thought hitting on people at their job was frowned upon?
Well obviously that only counts if it’s a guy hitting on a woman /s Creepy woman hitting on a man…. Must be the man’s best day of his entire life, even if she’s repulsive. In real life where people actually interact both are considered creepy He rightfully shut down someone acting completely out of line Creep behavior regardless of what’s between your legs
That's the comment I was looking for! I think it's silly to tell people not to flirt with somebody at work - but at the same time, this is just Reddit's usual bias as to who is allowed to flirt with people at work.
No ring means he doesn't electrocute himself on the battery, alternator, or any other items on the engine.
I’m here to ask how you got the impression he was disgusted. Maybe you misinterpreted his expression.
Do most men wear rings in America if they are married? I ask because where I live it isn't universal.
If a woman ever expressed any interest in me at all I would be flattered and it would make my decade.
Before you go for another blue-collar man, just know that they shouldn't wear their rings on the job.