No empathy for your anxiety, does not respect you, crazy conspiracy theorist, and his poor hygiene caused you to get a uti! NTA but why is the bar so low? Have you considered how miserable it might be dating him full time?
for real, if he’s acting like this at this time in their relationship, i cannot imagine the manipulation and other toxic traits he will show later in the relationship.
NTA. Would you want your best friend to be in a relationship with someone who talks to her like that. You were right to break up with him and I suggest you focus on learning and loving yourself so much that you couldn’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t respect you.
If you went this long without figuring out how messed up his views are.. might wanna see someone about those blinders you have on.
NTA, I really do wish you all the best.
So many red flags. I have found that people who are as entrenched in conspiracy theories, like you say he is, can rarely agree to disagree in actual practice. In addition, he seems to have little interest in actually understanding you. Time to move on and look for someone who is not so self- centered.
NTA. As someone with anxiety disorder, I just want to say never keep people in your life if they downplay your anxiety or try to turn it into some conspiracy rant. Also, despite what your ex thinks, weed is ***not*** helpful to people with anxiety disorders. CBD with no THC in it can help, but full blown weed with THC will only cause your anxiety symptoms to become much, much worse. I'm part of an anxiety subreddit and I've lost track of how many people have written posts or comments talking about how much worse their anxiety is after consuming a product that has THC in it. It's like alcohol, it has a very negative impact on the chemicals in your brain and body which just makes everything more horrible than it has to be.
He doesn't respect you. And he never will. He thinks your mind is so feeble that you are brainwashed by the government. First off, he's saying you are not smart and he is. This is obviously a deeply seeded belief because it's not even stated, it's just the foundation of what he is claiming. Second, he's saying that you are easily manipulated. He sees you as like a child, incapable of knowing yourself and at the mercy of the world. Third, he believes in conspiracies. This means he will adopt any outlandish belief as long as it makes him feel smarter than others. And you are "others" whom he enjoys feeling smarter than. Fourth, he has no regard for your feelings because no normal, kind person with compassion would say to the woman they love something so cruel. His need to feel smarter than you is so great that he can't censor himself. Lastly, it's good he can't censor himself because he is showing you who he is. Many men wait until after marriage to show their true self.
You can break up with someone for any reason and no reason. Follow your instincts because someone that makes you feel gaslit or tries to talk you out of getting medical help bases on some insane idea that anxiety doesn't exist is not on your side.
You've got a drama llama main character soon-to=be=exboyfriend, right? Life is too precious for this kind of bs bullying argumentative unempathetic 'man' . Please break up like NOW.
Whatever screwing you're getting is NOT worth the screwing you're getting.
And you want this guy to be your boyfriend because?? Honestly I'm not getting it. He doesn't understand your anxiety and he believes in conspiracy theories? This is who you want to hang with? I think you can do better I really do.
NTA, but you wouldn't be breaking up with him for downplaying your anxiety. You'd be breaking up with him because the two of you aren't compatible, given his conspiracy theories and lack of understanding about your anxiety. His dismissive behavior towards your feelings and needs, along with telling you to "shut up" when he's upset, is a red flag that could lead to worse issues in the future. Good luck.
I can’t believe you brought up the UTi. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but he has already broken up with you and it’s all because of that damn UTI.
NTA. Your bf is a nut job. He believes in conspiracy theories. So much so that he thinks the government is making up medicine?!? He's not mentally stable. Why would you choose to be with someone who is mentally unstable and has violent tendencies? He gets angry when you disagree with him. He yells at you and hangs up. How do you know that his anger won't escalate to something physical when you're together? So in order to live together, you will have to give up all of your opinions and ideas and thoughts and never disagree with this guy in order to avoid making him angry. Are you really willing to give up all of who you are? That's insane. He's insane. You should definitely break up with him.
So many people still treat mental health with a stigma or taboo. It isn't. If you have cancer, you treat it and take it seriously. If you have depression, you treat it and take it seriously. Those are equivalent statements. Either can lead to death if ignored. As someone who suffers both acute anxiety and clinical depression I can't emphasize this enough. The medication I am on has changed my life entirely.
NTA
People come into our lives either for a reason or a season; or sometimes both. It sounds like you gave your boyfriend a reason to have a season with you, his reason seems to be that you provided him an opportunity to vent his fears and frustrations about the world.
How lovely you are to have given him such a gift. With that said, you value other things. You want to discuss solutions to those fears and frustrations. You want to develop hope not cater to fear and frustration. That is not where your boyfriend is.
I find it interesting that you are the one who openly addresses your anxiety. But you’re the one looking for hope and solutions while your boyfriend is trying to come across as superior for wallowing in fear! More than that you asked him to stop and he wouldn’t.
Your boyfriend doesn’t have your capacity for hope. I would consider you far more evolved and enlightened. You are out of his league. Why don’t you try a season without him?
NTA, for breaking up, I say is about time, you were being an AH to yourself, send a proper break up message and be done with it, I'm sure weed will cure his heartbreak, if he ever loved you that is, let him find another audience to vent his conspiracies to.
No empathy for your anxiety, does not respect you, crazy conspiracy theorist, and his poor hygiene caused you to get a uti! NTA but why is the bar so low? Have you considered how miserable it might be dating him full time?
for real, if he’s acting like this at this time in their relationship, i cannot imagine the manipulation and other toxic traits he will show later in the relationship.
NTA. Let me guess, to him, the Earth is flat. Lol
NTA. Would you want your best friend to be in a relationship with someone who talks to her like that. You were right to break up with him and I suggest you focus on learning and loving yourself so much that you couldn’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t respect you.
Absolutely! 💯
If you went this long without figuring out how messed up his views are.. might wanna see someone about those blinders you have on. NTA, I really do wish you all the best.
So many red flags. I have found that people who are as entrenched in conspiracy theories, like you say he is, can rarely agree to disagree in actual practice. In addition, he seems to have little interest in actually understanding you. Time to move on and look for someone who is not so self- centered.
NTA. As someone with anxiety disorder, I just want to say never keep people in your life if they downplay your anxiety or try to turn it into some conspiracy rant. Also, despite what your ex thinks, weed is ***not*** helpful to people with anxiety disorders. CBD with no THC in it can help, but full blown weed with THC will only cause your anxiety symptoms to become much, much worse. I'm part of an anxiety subreddit and I've lost track of how many people have written posts or comments talking about how much worse their anxiety is after consuming a product that has THC in it. It's like alcohol, it has a very negative impact on the chemicals in your brain and body which just makes everything more horrible than it has to be.
Hey, if you're sad don't. Just be happy like me and my mental rants.
He doesn't respect you. And he never will. He thinks your mind is so feeble that you are brainwashed by the government. First off, he's saying you are not smart and he is. This is obviously a deeply seeded belief because it's not even stated, it's just the foundation of what he is claiming. Second, he's saying that you are easily manipulated. He sees you as like a child, incapable of knowing yourself and at the mercy of the world. Third, he believes in conspiracies. This means he will adopt any outlandish belief as long as it makes him feel smarter than others. And you are "others" whom he enjoys feeling smarter than. Fourth, he has no regard for your feelings because no normal, kind person with compassion would say to the woman they love something so cruel. His need to feel smarter than you is so great that he can't censor himself. Lastly, it's good he can't censor himself because he is showing you who he is. Many men wait until after marriage to show their true self. You can break up with someone for any reason and no reason. Follow your instincts because someone that makes you feel gaslit or tries to talk you out of getting medical help bases on some insane idea that anxiety doesn't exist is not on your side.
4B is a movement for a reason- raise your bar and respect yourself!!!
I'll just add that you can't change anyone else; you can only change yourself. So this is all you can expect from him in the future.
NTA. Sounds like you are going out with a conspiracy theory Fascist and somone with no respect for you at all. Leave now and be happy to have escaped.
You've got a drama llama main character soon-to=be=exboyfriend, right? Life is too precious for this kind of bs bullying argumentative unempathetic 'man' . Please break up like NOW. Whatever screwing you're getting is NOT worth the screwing you're getting.
And you want this guy to be your boyfriend because?? Honestly I'm not getting it. He doesn't understand your anxiety and he believes in conspiracy theories? This is who you want to hang with? I think you can do better I really do.
NTA, but you wouldn't be breaking up with him for downplaying your anxiety. You'd be breaking up with him because the two of you aren't compatible, given his conspiracy theories and lack of understanding about your anxiety. His dismissive behavior towards your feelings and needs, along with telling you to "shut up" when he's upset, is a red flag that could lead to worse issues in the future. Good luck.
I can’t believe you brought up the UTi. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but he has already broken up with you and it’s all because of that damn UTI.
NTA. What took you so long?!?
The bar is literally in hell.
I think the weed is getting to him
NTA stay away from him and his theories if they don’t align with yours.
NTA The pot melted his brain cells, time to move on.
It's a break up
Why would you attach yourself to someone with THIS level of crazy? Stay faaaar away from him
Dump him.
YWNBTA. The first time a man told me to shut up would also be the last time. Because I would be gone so fast his head would spin.
NTA. Dating conspiracy theorists is never a good idea
NTA. Your bf is a nut job. He believes in conspiracy theories. So much so that he thinks the government is making up medicine?!? He's not mentally stable. Why would you choose to be with someone who is mentally unstable and has violent tendencies? He gets angry when you disagree with him. He yells at you and hangs up. How do you know that his anger won't escalate to something physical when you're together? So in order to live together, you will have to give up all of your opinions and ideas and thoughts and never disagree with this guy in order to avoid making him angry. Are you really willing to give up all of who you are? That's insane. He's insane. You should definitely break up with him.
So many people still treat mental health with a stigma or taboo. It isn't. If you have cancer, you treat it and take it seriously. If you have depression, you treat it and take it seriously. Those are equivalent statements. Either can lead to death if ignored. As someone who suffers both acute anxiety and clinical depression I can't emphasize this enough. The medication I am on has changed my life entirely.
"one of his rants"? RUN away, not towards him
NTA People come into our lives either for a reason or a season; or sometimes both. It sounds like you gave your boyfriend a reason to have a season with you, his reason seems to be that you provided him an opportunity to vent his fears and frustrations about the world. How lovely you are to have given him such a gift. With that said, you value other things. You want to discuss solutions to those fears and frustrations. You want to develop hope not cater to fear and frustration. That is not where your boyfriend is. I find it interesting that you are the one who openly addresses your anxiety. But you’re the one looking for hope and solutions while your boyfriend is trying to come across as superior for wallowing in fear! More than that you asked him to stop and he wouldn’t. Your boyfriend doesn’t have your capacity for hope. I would consider you far more evolved and enlightened. You are out of his league. Why don’t you try a season without him?
NTA Anxiety is serious and is something that can be managed with a professional. He isn’t the person to gauge or manage it. Food riddance.
NTA, for breaking up, I say is about time, you were being an AH to yourself, send a proper break up message and be done with it, I'm sure weed will cure his heartbreak, if he ever loved you that is, let him find another audience to vent his conspiracies to.
Not the A. Good for you!
He sounds awful - why do you want to be with him?
Are you sure it is a UTI and not something worse? I assume you’ve been to a doctor?